- "Why Does it Always Rain on Me?"
- Because you live in Scotland—get over it.
- Because you're a rain god.
- Because you don't go inside when it rains.
- Haven't you seen your own Music Video? You've got no roof!
- Because you're too mean to buy a decent umbrella.
- You have the Drizzle ability.
- Tenshi was bored.
- Because you have a Personal Raincloud.
- What do you mean? It's not raining.
- It has been scientifically proven that the Nintendo Switch has a sensor which captures brain waves to detect if the player wants to climb a mountain, and when it does it specifically causes rain in your gameplay of
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. - Because every time I say "thirteen"- *thunder* -it starts to rain!
- Why don't we do it in the road?
- No one will be watching us.
- We'll be run over.
- It will be really dirty and uncomfortable.
- Because there's a dead possum there.
- You sure it's dead and not just playing?
- Right in front of the abbey? Ew, no!
- We can't. The background isn't done for that, so we can't.
- You can make some babies, if you do it in the road!
- How did 64 get in there?
- It's eight squared, don't you see.
- Base eight.
- Everybody get one? Good.
- The SNES needed updating.
- Shigesato Itoi thought it sounded cool.
- No, not 64; 63⅓.
- 64? The correct number is 66⅔.
- Whatever you do, don't multiply that by ten...
- It's eight squared, don't you see.
- Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?
- The door is closed... and so are your eyes, apparently.
- *closes door*
- Just push on the wood here. Never use the doorknob. I’m always afraid that it will shatter into a million pieces and that one of them will hit my eye.
- Because Nonagon Infinity keeps opening it.
- HOLD THE DOOR!
- Hell’s berries! This is the North Pole! Close the door!
- Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
- Ain't you ever played Angry Birds?
- Just like you, they're uncritically attracted to shiny objects.
- Wait, those are turkey vultures... Are you a zombie?
- Do they? Fascinating! Can there be a creature whose existence depends solely on its proximity to an observer?
- I don't know. Mr. Hitchcock won't tell anybody.
- Because those rude people don't like me for some reason.
- Conjure Animals.
- CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW.
- Annoying bird! I am the great Leon!
- Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
- Yup. Your last.
- Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.
- Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see.
- I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.
- The Matrix has you...
- Just check your totem, dude.
- Is this going to be forever?
- It's All Just a Dream.
- No, this is the dream. You are back in the cell.
- No, this is The Dream. You're a magical girl now.
- The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You.
- Everything's just like an illusion.
- There's no such thing in the world as absolute reality. Most of what they call real is actually fiction. What you think you see is only as real as your brain tells you it is.... It's not whether you were right or wrong, but how much faith you were willing to have, that decides the future.
- A dream is not reality, but who's to say which is which?
- HAHAHA! It's funny because we're all living in a simulation and free will is a lie.
- I know all these things never happened. I'm just a random girl with gentle manners.
- No, this is Patrick.
- We're living life in a simulation, loving life in a simulation.
- I’ve been having these weird thoughts lately… like is any of this for real… or not?
- Who Wrote the Book of Love?
- Who are you? Who? Who? Who? Who?
- I'm a policeman, you don't have to know my name!
- It seems you really want to know. Too bad.
- Yes, I play first on the Troper Baseball Team.
- I'm Batman.
- Just who the hell do you think I am?
- I'm the Doctor.
- Just a man, or a Superman?
- "Who"? "Who" is but the form following the function of "what" and what I am is a man in a mask.
- I am Optimus Prime.
- Unacceptable answer! I already know your name. Who are you?
- Who am I? A HOUSEWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!
- Whoo.
- I am your father.
- I am the Walrus.
- I am a Rock. I am an Island.
- Actually, I'm not sure.
- I AM IRON MAN!
- Bond. James Bond.
- I'm the dude!
- I am the law.
- I'm just a passing-through Kamen Rider.
- I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!
- Don't you know who I am? I'm Electro.
- I AM A MAN!
- I am the man who arranges the blocks that descend upon you from up above.
- Hoot-hoot! I am an owl.
- ROAR ROAR I'm Starflight the NightWing.
- I am Monokuma!
- Now baby I'm the ripper! Your baby daddy's worst nightmare!
- Just a guy who's a hero for fun.
- Well, don't you think you ought to tell me who you are first?
- I'm a bitch, I'm a lover / I'm a child, I'm a mother / I'm a sinner, I'm a saint / I do not feel ashamed
- Beep beep, I'm a sheep, I said beep beep I'm a sheep.
- "Meow meow, I'm a cow, I said meow meow I'm a" - "NO!"
- I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion.
- I am Cornholio! I need T.P. for my bunghole!
- We are the masters of a power driven to the far reaches of the universe, and we have but one desire! Can one such as you possibly fathom how dearly we have clung to this dream across the aeons? How could you! You couldn't! Never ever ever! We who once faced those who were in such fear of our power that they sealed us away and banished us to the edge of the galaxy! US! As if THAT loveliness wasn't enough, they tried to erase our very existence from history! RUDE! Only through our magic were we able to overcome their science and achieve great prosperity! We alone were responsible for stopping that repulsive nightmare of a galactic crisis, yet this is how you repay us! This won't stand! It won't be forgiven! It won't be forgotten! Never ever EVER! Those who called us mad, are you listening? You left us at the edge of the galaxy to be forgotten, then went along your merry way, probably living somewhere pretty and peaceful! But know this! Your future is a farce! You have none! We, masters of a matter most dark, vow to be restored, as foretold in the book of legend, which everyone thought was just a fairy tale! IT WASN'T! We have already obtained the vessel that contains our Dark Lord, and he will soon awaken and shower us in compassion! Look! The vessel of our Dark Lord is filling up even as we speak! Now the time for his greatness to enter our world has come! Welcome to a new history! A new age! The age of awesome! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARK LORD! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Grace us, gloriously Dark Looooooord!
- Sometimes one, sometimes five, the white shadow that steals close to its prey, we are the Science Ninja Team... GATCHAMAN!!!
- I AM the one who knocks!
- I... am Gorb! The great mind... the pain! Ascend! Ascend!
- I'm a big girl with cash and wheels, I'm taller than you when I don't wear heels, and I don't give a damn, don't give a damn about you.
- I am thou, thou art I...
- We are the children of an innocent crime, and it's time to take down the throne.
- I'm that horse I saw on TV!
- That guy with the best fuckin' friends? That's me! They make me feel loved and they make me happy!
- I'm Scratcher or something!
- I'm a privileged boy! My dad can buy and sell ya!
- I'm a Cyborg, but That's OK
- I'm Nick Fishkins and I wanna buy your home! Sold!
- Who am I? I'm Jean Valjean!
- I'm Squidward, he's Squidward. We're both Squidward.
- So I'm Sarah, you don't care that before or after boning up on classic me!
- It is I, your one and only king, Bowser Koopa! I'm a turtle, as you've seen, a little slow and a little green, but on the whole, I'd say, super duper.
- He who must not, cannot, and should not, be named.
- I'm Merlee, you see? That's me! A cuter gal you'll never see. I do magic, but not for free.
- Oh, I'm sorry! I got carried away with my story and didn't even properly introduce myself! I am Zelda, princess of Hyrule.
- I'm Hernando and I fear nothing!
- Hi, I'm Timmy Turner, and I -- cheated on my math test!
- Hi, I'm your friendly neighborhood poltergeist.
- Dun, dun, daaahh! I...am Captain Chaos!
- I am the Good Witch Azura! Warrior of peace! NOW EAT THIS, SUCKA!
- I'm Ron F--king Swanson.
- I'm the main character and you have to like me!
- I'm Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate™!
- “I’m the Man, I’m the Man, I’m the Man! Yes I Am, yes I am, yes I am!”
- will.i.am
- WHAT?! You were going to ask about my name, weren't you? Everyone wants to know about it, and you're probably no different! Well fine! Maple Willow Aspen IS my name and YES my parents were VERY fond of TREES! I am VERY aware of it, and NO don't want to hear ANY jokes about family trees and me being the SAP! Are you HAPPY NOW?!
- I am the one, don't weigh a ton
Don't need a gun to get respect up on the street
Under the sun, the bastard son
Will pop the Glock to feed himself and family
- Who let the dogs out?
- Beethoven.
- The Who.
- The Doctor.
- Doctor who?
- Smithers, release the hounds.
- The guy being chased by cats?
- The guy who uses Brand X in Beano and some Pepto-Bismol commercials.
- IT WAS ME, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP, ALRIGHT?!?
- Simon Legree.
- No, wasn't him. He's at the ballgame.
- You did, asshole.
- How many roads must a man walk down?
- Forty-two.
- No, it's rhetorical.
- Four Thirteen.
- One hundred and sixty-one.
- Before they can call him a man? I don't know, but he has to revisit highway 40.
- Two hundred and three.
- Mmmmm...
- Most trainers go down about forty-five per game.
- I would walk five hundred miles, and I would walk five hundred more.
- Roads? Marty, where we're going, we don't need roads.
- What is love?
- Baby, don't hurt me... don't hurt me... no more...
- Fruit?
- Bread?
- Fruit and bread?
- A curious game. The only winning move is not to play.
- A miserable little pile of baby don't hurt me.
- Something that money can't buy, apparently.
- Overrated. Biochemically, no different from eating a lot of chocolate.
- A second-hand emotion.
- A sweet old-fashioned notion.
- A many-splendored thing.
- A battlefield.
- Patient; kind; it does not envy, it does not boast, etc etc.
- Depends on what kind of love you're asking for.
- All you need.
- A tennis term meaning "You're not doing that well."
- It's a curious thing. Make a-one man weep, make another man sing.
- That's not love itself, just its power.
- Food for the changelings.
- What do you want, is it necessary?
- A temple.
- The higher law.
- Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometres away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, 'love' is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and strangely enough, not many meatbags would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose... against statistically long odds...
- It means never having to say you're sorry.
- An acronym for Level Of ViolencE.
- What Garnet is made of.
- [REMOVED TO CONFORM WITH LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL CENSORSHIP LAWS]
- Love is War.
- Acguy is love.
- Love is the power, Love is the glory, Love is the beauty and the joy of spring, Love is the magic, Love is the story, Love is the melody we all can sing...
- Oxytocin
- It's a feeling, deep inside...
- A Burnin' thing, and it makes a fiery ring...
- Power of Love might cause paralysis to fail.
- Takin' that dive, then gettin' really comfortable, and peeing in the pool.
- A bourgeois construct, like they said at university.
- The only true reason why men fight wars.
- Love's a temperamental art!
- Love is only a tool.
- Love is when you try to place it out your mind, but you can’t turn the radio down and you can’t think of anyone else.
- Baby, don't hurt me
- What would you do if I sang out of tune?
- I would stand up and walk out on you.
- I would turn off the radio.
- Ask you to stop singing.
- Yes, because your singing it bad and you should feel bad.
- Stop! No time for a song! Here comes Applejack!
- Shoot you.
- Off key? No, not me. I'm a karaoke machine!
- Kill you. Why would I do anything else?
- Is this love that I'm feeling? Is this love that's been keeping me up all night?
- Why Don't You Get A Job?
- I blame the recession. And this website.
- I'm independently wealthy.
- I don't have a job because I don't have any skills, I don't have any skills because I didn't go to school, I didn't go to school because I don't have any money, I don't have any money because I don't have a job, I don't have a job because I don't have any skills...
- After what happened at Rite Aid, I'm pretty much unemployable.
- ...Because he's covered in boils?
- ...Where's my lemonade?
- Like be a soda jerker? Which means like be a SLOB?!
- I mean, it might take another winter special and a 2-part TV movie, a clip show, and roughly 8 episodes, but...soon.
- Because when I need a job done I get someone with a job to do that job!
- I don't need a job!
- Pleased to meet you. Won't you guess my name?
- Rumpelstiltskin, gimme my baby back.
- Wrong. It's Ifnkovhgroghprm.
- Could it be… SATAN?!
- Trick question - you have many names.
- George Lucas.
- No. If you want to introduce yourself, you can tell me your name like a normal person, damn it.
- He won't because he's Doo liss. ...Confound it, he stole a letter from my keyboard! Again!
- Your name is Not-Bob.
- Only if you guess mine.
- Candle Jack
- Oh, come on, Fhqwhgads!
- Lucy.
- What's puzzling me is the nature of your game.
- My name's not Shane, kid.
- I'd Tell You, but Then I'd Have to Kill You
- Rumpelstiltskin, gimme my baby back.
- What is this feeling?
- Stomach pains. I'm afraid you're going to die.
- Loathing. Unadulterated loathing.
- It couldn't be tonsillitis, it feels like neuritis, but nevertheless it's love.
- Don't worry, you'll get over it.
- A heart attack. Call 911!
- Gas.
- The feeling that you will have been here before.
- You just got slapped! Across the face, my friend...
- Hey, if you wanna leave, I'm with it...
- That's envy, you emotionally stunted android.
- The burning you feel? It is shame.
- The feeling that you will have been here before.
- This is what it's like to be free.
- Well, you know, the feeling that you're... that you're feeling is what many of us call "a feeling."
- You feel that? What you're feeling right now? True happiness, I know, I can't believe it comes from winning Dota either, but there you have it.
- I'm feeling a warm spot.
- War, huh! What is it good for?
- Freeing slaves, maybe? Defending yourself against a totalitarian aggressor?.
- Depends on your opinion of the purpose of life. Is it to live the longest, healthiest, safest life possible? Maybe. Or maybe life is to sacrifice in the name of glory, tradition, or identity. These are big questions, and there are no easy answers...
- Rule of Acquisition #34: War is good for business.
- It strengthens the economy!
- You know what!? FUCK this war, I just want you dead!
- War hardens the heart.
- You, who murdered a hundred thousand Iraqis to save a nickel on a gallon of gas, are going to lecture me on the rules of war? DON'T!
- The war is over! Lord Sidious promised us peace! We only want-
- *Slash* AAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH
- EVERYTHING!
- "Oh, say can you... and the hooooome of the braaaaaaaave?"
- Run on sentence.
- Banned for inappropriate language (s** *** *** *** ** *** *** *** ***t)
- Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
- Jose, can you see... Wait, the first word is Jose? Wow, it's about a Spanish guy.
- Screw our country! I WANNA LIVE!
- I guess we slipped right through and lost all meaning on the way.
- Oh, won't you please take me home?
- You can't go home. You can never go home.
- Ohmigod! Yes I will!
- Well, I'd need to know where you live first, unless you mean my home, which is kind of a mess right now...
- If I do, will you still be in love, baby?
- Even now, after all you've done, you can still go home!
- Why, cuz you don't remember?
- How can I? I'm no country road.
- If your heart's going boom-boom-boom, then yeah, grab your things, I've come to take you home.
- No, get the bus.
- Just got home, got no home, la-de-da-de-de-where did it go? Oh no! I can't go home.
- Really? Oh, happy day! Fire away, mon!
- Go home, Hades. Just...go home.
- What, so I can go home, and dad can, uh...?
- I hate this town, it's so washed up, and all my friends don't give fuck.
- Well, I'm not going home. I'm going to get in my boat, and I'm going up the river, and I'm going to kick that son-of-a-bitch Bison's ass so hard, that the next Bison wannabe is gonna feel it.
- I'm never gonna come back home again! I'm never gonna feel that low again! It's nothing that you ever did wrong, it's just, I found a place to call home!
- Home is in the heart especially in the city of garmfield
- You are lost, you can never go home.
- The light in the tower, no longer my home.
- What is this that stands before me?
- Is there anybody going to listen to my story?
- I've got about three minutes. Make it quick.
- Depends on the story, I suppose.
- At first, but then I'll fall asleep partway through and not wake up until you ask me if I'm listening, at which point I'll claim I am.
- No.
- They'll get their chance to talk—BE quiet a second, will ya?
- I have. Now sit down and don't open your mouth again.
- Hahaha, what a story, Mark!
- Why can't we be friends?
- Because you're kind of a jerk...
- I'm shy and socially awkward, so I don't really spend time with people. Don't take it personally.
- I hate everything about you!
- You're an idiot.
- Because we're poor and I hate you.
- I think we should be enemies.
- Perhaps (because of) your life of sin and licentiousness.
- Yeah, that could be it.
- Because most of us are (censored), little buddy.
- Friends?! FRIENDS?!
- Wrong thing to say?
- Is it ever the right thing?!
- I'm a tough girl, don't need anybody, not a gold digger, not a sugar baby. I don't give a damn, don't give a damn about you. You'll never know how to deal with me.
- You'll stop when you see you're a bit better off.
- All you guys talk about is boring stuff.
- I don't need friends. They disappoint me.
- Frien' wid you lowlife, hell, no!
- I found out about you.
- You dropped a bomb on me.
- I don't have friends. I got family.
- "Friends"? I thought he said we were the enemy.
- Why did Constantinople get the works?
- Ask the Turks.
- Can't. They're Shin-Ra's secret agents.
- They were conquered by people who had a different religion.
- Why they changed it I can't say. People just liked it better that way.
- I thought it was called Istanbul.
- Diachronic Shear.
- Ask the Turks.
- What can I tell you, my brother, my killer? What could I possibly say?
- "Next time, check the safety on that thing"?
- "Careful with that axe, Eugene."
- I believe the word you're looking for is 'AAAAAAHHH!!!'.
- Why can't I be you?
- Because I'm not done being me yet.
- Because deep down, you realize I kinda suck and you're better off as yourself.
- You're not even good enough to be my fake!
- So fucking what if I'm not you!?
- You're either perfect, or you're not me.
- You are not me, and you should not be me. You are Tenzin.
- HEY! You will not imitate ME!
- You need to be yourself. You can't be no one else.
- How many people want to kick some ass?
- 42. Always 42.
- Sorry, I'm really just a sensitive artist...
- Me, and my 99 biker friends.
- Why do we never get an answer when we're knocking at the door with a thousand different questions about hate and death and war?
- Next time, ask the questions one at a time.
- Nobody's home. Try the next house.
- Hiding! Who the f*** wants to answer a thousand questions?!
- ...
- The world's more full of weeping than you can understand.
- How will I know if he really loves me?
- Who wants to live forever?
- I want to live for a thousand years. Even 500 would be pretty nice.
- No, he doesn't. At least not anymore. He's tired.
- NO ONE LIVES FOREVER!
- Don't we have a whole trope on this idea?
- Yeah, it's called "Who Wants to Live Forever?"
- The Family of Blood.
- I just want to live while I'm alive
- What's the frequency, Kenneth?
- African or European?
- I don't know, but it hurts!
- The speed of propagation divided by the wavelength.
- The energy of a photon divided by the Planck constant.
- One over the time period.
- 113 times per second it reaches out it reaches out it reaches out...
- 3.579545 MHz.
- Have you ever seen the rain?
- For three days straight. Give us some sun already!
- I've seen fire, too. And sunny days I thought would never end.
- I see trees of green, red roses too...
- And I wonder, still I wonder, who'll stop the rain?
- Rain is rain, brother! It comes from the sky! It's a wetness known as water! Aqua pura! Mammals drink it, fish swim in it, little boys wade in it, and birds flap their wings and sing like sunrise! Water! I recommend it!
- I absolutely hate the rain, you see. So I never carry less than four umbrellas on my person at all times!
- Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the gods?
- He's having a beer with the streetwise Hercules.
- Where are the Elder Gods, Raiden? Their pathetic Mortal Kombat shackles me no longer. They masquerade as dragons, but are mere toothless worms.
- They're dead, you buffoon.
- Why do you even bother?
- Because I want to.
- Whoever said I did?
- Biko. Because Biko.
- I don't really have a choice.
- Determination.
- Because you wanted to feel like something you're not: a hero.
- I Was Just Passing Through.
- Where is my mind?
- Where's your head at?
- Oh, sorry, did you say something? I was thinking about boobs.
- My mind makes noises too much.
- In your head, in your head.
- My mind has wandered from the straight and narrow. My mind has wandered from the flock, you see. My mind has wandered, the man just said so. My mind has wandered, I heard it on TV.
- Who says you have one?
- What the devil's going on?
- Really? That's your best insult?
- Blowed if I know.
- Didn't I tell you that my name is Louis Cypher?
- We're playing a Tv Tropes game. Have a go - that's how wikis work.
- WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HEEEEE— Whoa, deja vu, I'm sorry. —EEERE!
- Jason fucking Voorhees, that's what's going on!
- Right? I've been in the future for a whole hour, and I haven't seen one jetpack. Not one!
- Well, no time to figure out what the hell that just was, gotta go!
- It is the boy. He has eaten the pancake.
- Is there anybody out there?
- What rhymes with "hug me"?
- 'Mug me'? Might not want to say that too much...
- "Don't hug me" rhymes with "hug me."
- Hugem... Huge M! What place around here has a huge M?
- ...Rice pilaf
- Bug me, slug me, drug me...
- Tug me.
- Who's the black private dick who's a sex machine to all the chicks?
- Why aren't lasers doing cool shit?
- Scientists are worried we'll find out how much fun they are.
- Because oddly enough, giant Frickin' Laser Beams are somewhat dangerous.
- Everything's lasers with you!
- They are, but maybe not the cool things you're thinking of.
- Just like any other weapon, you need to level them up.
- Lucasfilm would sue us for plagiarism, so we had to make do with invisible lasers.
- You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can not be done.
- Lasers make me happy. Though not as much as food, bedrest, painkillers, not being persecuted...
- I HAVE NO LASERS, AND I WILL LASER TO DEATH ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.
- FIREALASERFIREALASERFIREALASER
- Every time I start to feel defensive, I remember lasers are expensive!
- What does the fox say?
- This. And this.
- Here's your answer.
- Get out of there, Slippy!
- ALL YO' YENS, YIP YIP YAP!!!
- Your favorite show has been canceled.
- Believe it!
- "All's well that ends well, right?"
- "We all did it together!"
- "Look at all of those Eggman's robots!"
- "SONIC! HELP! I'VE SOILED MYSELF!!"
- "You have to put it in the nuclear reactor! Put the piss rock in the nuclear reactor!"
- "HWAIIIEEE!"
- SKREEEEEEEEEEEE-
- BOOM BOOM!
- Do you people even watch◊ Dora? The fox says "AWWW MAN".
- "Aslan has ordered me to gather more troops."
- "Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew."
- They speak not of interest. Fox talk is all of kill.
- "Meow?" "WRONG!"
- You see before you an ocean of dead memes...which I invented!
- Yarr! Who touched me bird?
- Nothing. Foxes don't talk.
- This.
- Do you believe in magic, in a young girl's heart?
- It appears my Neuro-Vault is still functioning well. Excellent...
- Do you even know what happened with the last guy who knew all the words to that song?
- I believe the autonomic nervous system functions regardless of age and gender.
- This old codger wants to talk with you.
- Not since I was about five.
- Yes. That's why I get them to make contracts with me.
- I believe in magic!
- Magic is an artificial construct.
- What do I do when lightning strikes me?
- Where have all the flowers gone?
- How do I breathe without you?
- Inhale, exhale.
- Inspire, expire.
- With a ventilator.
- You're the oxygen I need, but I can't breathe.
- Am I ever gonna see your face again?
- No way, get fucked, fuck off!
- I will see you in the next life…
- Get thee from me, take heed to thyself, see my face no more; for in that day thou seest my face thou shalt die.
- Don't worry, Mario. You will. Even after your impending separation.
- Sorry, Mega Man, but it looks like you might be stuck up there for a little while more!
- I look forward to meeting again, in the next timeline.
- Then I will not say goodbye.
- One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.
- I never want to see you again. Do you hear me? Never!
- I'm finally somewhere that I have to be, where I’ve been living peacefully and happily, to paradise out of a catastrophe! And I feel worthwhile now, 'cause the city never lets me down!
- I hate everything about you, why do I love you?!
- Hate isn't the opposite of love, indifference is.
- Someone's a bit Tsundere.
- It's called kismesissitude.
- I do not know, but I feel it happen and I am torn apart.
- You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much.
- Hate is a kind of love.
- Those clothes are too cute and you're good at everything. It makes me so angry that I want to give you a hug!
- How could this happen to me?
- That's going to need more explanation than we can give in this short bullet point.
- Do you want the short list or the long?
- Lady, your god was a chicken. That's not exactly boss fight material.
- From where you're kneeling, it must seem like an 18-carat run of bad luck. Truth is... the game was rigged from the start.
- It's your fault, you bumbling metal-heads! I never should have made you!
- The answer...is plain...truth.
- I met your children, what did you tell them?
- That you suck and cannot be trusted.
- That I didn't betray and kill their father.
- Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once?
- What, all of it? We could be here a while.
- NO ROSE I ANGST ALONE.
- I'm so sick of your complaints and tears! On and on about how lonely you are, and how you need a girlfriend! You're nothing but a lowly liar, you solicitor!
- Yeah, I do.
- Three hundred lives of men I have walked this earth and now I have no time.
- Do you believe in love?
- Do you believe it's true?
- If it means a steady paycheck, I'll believe anything you tell me.
- Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
- No. I don't even know where the heck that is.
- North-East England.
- No. I don't even know where the heck that is.
- How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?
- I take the pudding from you.
- Coo, coo! Cooo! (This is no pudding for a man! Okosan rejects it! It is a lie! A vicious falsification!)
- How long must you wait for it?
- Just gimme three steps.
- I DID MY WAITING!! TWELVE YEARS OF IT!! IN AZKABAN!!!
- Fifteen years. And you said you'd be five minutes.
- Nine years. Hopefully, it will be worth the wait.
- We gave you six years and millions of dollars, and you gave us nothing.
- It's been 84 years...
- We're waiting for Godot.
- It's only two more seconds.
- Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone?
- And then you've got to wait for them to re-spawn, too.
- It used to be So Bad, It Was Better!
- How do we dance when our Earth is turning?
- Do the twist?
- How do we sleep while our beds are burning?
- I was sleeping at a motel at the time.
- No idea, ask Leah and John Marston.
- Surely it would be harder to dance if the world stopped turning?
- I think you got that backwards: It would be easier to dance if the world stopped turning...and don't call me "Shirley".
- What's My Scene?
- And another thing \ I've been wondering lately \ Am I crazy \ To believe in ideals?
- A Barbie toyline.
- Do you see what I see?
- That depends. Mostly on what you can see.
- Good grief, there's a spaceship parked behind the sidescreen.
- Because I'm seeing gorillas riding pterodactyls with harpoon guns stealing a boat.
- "I see an angel coming for us out of the sky." "I see clams! Giant, shirtless clams!"
- They are taking the hobbits to Isengard!
- Beata Maria, you know I smoke so much weed. I see God!
- You don't see what I see, but you don't have to see what I see. Just see eye to eye. Despite my differences, we are still tight!
- I see lightning, I hear thunder.
- A cheap-ass, corporately-created John Cena bootleg!
- LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT! PINK ELEPHANTS ON PARADE!
- How long can we look at each other / Down the barrel of a gun?
- Dare you to blink first!
- Can I call you Betty?
- Yes, but I think I might be Diane Selwyn.
- That's 'Elizabeth' to you, Ash.
- But my name's Cameron...
- Well, that is my name, so yeah.
- But! Isn't Betty a woman's name?
- I'm not Betty. I'm Veronica.
- Or is it Dr. Betty Veronica?
- Oh, sweetie, I'm not Betty. I just borrowed her uniform while mine's at the cleaners.
- Are You Kidding Me?!
- No. This is Serious Business.
- Baa baa, black sheep, have you any wool?
- No. Wait until they eat some more grass.
- Yes, sir, yes, sir. Three bags full!
- My wool is not for sale.
- Do you suppose Black Sheep is friends with White Sheep and Shiny Sheep?
- Did you ever see a lassie?
- They're not bad films, on the whole.
- Am I only dreaming, or is this burning an eternal flame?
- Are we human? Or are we dancers?
- You can be both, you know.
- You're a human now, you're a dancer now!
- Do you really want to know?
- How much is that doggie in the window?
- That's no dog; that's a Maneki Neko.
- No, it's a Shiisaa!
- One million dollars!
- Thirty pieces of silver.
- You sure it's a dog?
- It's yours my friend, as long as you have enough rupees.
- ONE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY FIVE DOLLARS AND THIRTY ONE CENTS?!
- I have no dog!
- I'M NOT A FUCKING DOG!
- FIVE-HUNDRED AND NINETY-NINE U.S. DOLLARS!
- There's no dog... But there's a baboon!
- A hundred billion dollars.
- That's no dog; that's a Maneki Neko.
- Do you really want to hurt me?
- Just to hear you screamin' my name.
- Yes. Yes, I really want to hurt you.
- I will make you hurt.
- Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
- What can I say? I'm addicted to it.
- Oh dear, that's a real bad thing.
- I'm looing at you, Chris Carter.
- You Can't Make an Omelette... without flattening at least 10 cities. You must be an idiot to think otherwise.
- What can I say? I'm addicted to it.
- Hey, little sister, what have you done?
- What's My Age Again?
- How do you like your eggs in the morning?
- Poached, on a crumpet. In the evening I prefer an omelette.
- Benedict. I love Eggs Benedict, I hate every other kind. I hate big weddings with everybody staring. I'd like to get married on a weekday while everybody's at work. And when I ride off into the sunset, I want my own horse.
- EGGS! EGGS! E-DOUBLE-G-S EGGS!
- I like them with my green drugs and ham.
- I like my eggs like I like my coffee... COVERED IN BEES!
- I LOVE fried eggs! LOVE 'em!
- I fry scrambled eggs with a formidable face.
- DAMN MY EGGS! DAMN ALL THE EGGS THAT EVER WAS!
- Boiling an egg? That would be crazy! But I'll try anything once!
- I'm too exciting for eggs!
- Mother, did it need to be so high?
- If I go crazy, then will you still call me Superman?
- You sound slightly crazy already.
- What do you mean, "Flash Gordon approaching"?
- GORDON'S ALIVE?
- But I know he's a moron, Gordon is a moron.
- What's the price of a mile?
- 1.609344 of the km price.
- 500 dollars.
- How you gonna breastfeed me, mom?! You ain't got no tits!
- Oh, by the way, which one's Pink?
- Floyd, duh.
- What? The one that's coloured pink!
- The singer that wrote 'So What' and 'There You Go'.
- It's a light purple, which, incidentally, you cannot do.
- P!nk? The one who sings "Give Me a Reason"?
- Kimberly.
- Why don't you make your intention clear?
- Was the *Click* Hello not enough?
- Whose bed have your boots been under?
- How deep is your love?
- As deep as the puddle in front of my house. Now can you please shut up?
- In a hole six foot deep
- 4%
- You Cannot Grasp the True Form
- My well of hate runs deeper.
- Little ghost, little ghost, one I'm scared of the most, can you scare me up a little bit of love?
- ...How does that work? How do you scare someone into being in love?
- What do I have to do to get it through to you? How can I prove I really love you, love you?
- Do you come from a land down under?
- Just got back from the Land Way Down Under, actually.
- You're getting a punch down under!
- I get this a lot. I'm actually from New Zealand.
- Whatever happened to the revolution?
- Is it bright where you are?
- No, but the people have definitely changed.
- It is too bright here.
- And did I hear you say, "My Country, Right or Wrong"?
- It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?
- Are you the kind of person who just kisses random people for no reason? It probably wasn't "only a kiss".
- Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?
- A Wizard Did It.
- Quantum Mechanics Can Do Anything.
- It Runs on Nonsensoleum.
- It's Powered by a Forsaken Child.
- Cold + electricity.
- With Ludovico Technique and not much else.
- Your "magnetism" is a cute bedtime story, but I believe in one thing.
* pulls out a gun only for it to get pulled towards the magnet*
OK, fine, I guess I can believe in two things, but that's my limit!
- Annie, are you OK? Annie, are you OK? Are you OK, Annie?
- If you stopped panicking you would probably hear my answer.
- She's fine. Punjab used his unraveled turban as an improvised rope to lower himself out of the autocopter and carry her off of the bascule bridge to safety.
- Padme, Anakin has turned to the dark side.
- If I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by?
- Technically, if you fell into an area of reduced gravity, time would pass faster so... Kind of. Still, it's a start!
- Do you know the way to San Jose?
- Well, if you're coming from San Francisco, just take I-280 or Route 101, while if you're coming from the south, take I-5 until Exit 403... should I write this down for you?
- Go left, then right, then double and triple right, then down, up, and right 18 more times. Then do four somersaults, a barrel roll, jump backwards twice, spin 'til you get sick... And you're there.
- Where are you Christmas?
- In Turkey.
- You'll find it as soon as Halloween is over - or earlier.
- In the Last Hope hospita- Oh. Never mind.
- Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
- I wouldn't know. I'm all out of gum.
- What shall we do with the drunken sailor, ear-lye in the morning?
- Look in my eyes, what do you see?
- Your entire lifestory. It's really quite scary.
- All right, I'll tell you what I see. I see a lost little boy who is lucky to have a father who knows what's best for him.
- Seen through the warrior's eyes, I never need to question, how to defeat you.
- You have eyes?! I don't even have eyes! I'm jealous!
- A cheap, second-gen knockoff.
- What makes such a sweet guy dance so mean?
- Is it only a dream that there'll be no more turning away?
- You load sixteen tons and what do you get?
- Somebody to walk underneath that weight so it can fall on them.
- *Crack!* "Oh, My Back!"
- What in the world can make a brown-eyed girl turn blue?
- Blue paint.
- Contact lenses.
- Colloidal silver.
- Frostbite.
- Wonka's 3-Course Dinner Gum, once she gets to the dessert portion.
- Suck Blue Frog.
- Mister Marks, can you find for me someone strong and sweet fitting on my knee?
- So... so you think you can tell...
- ...heaven from hell?
- Blue skies from pain?
- Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
- A smile from a veil?
- It won't be easy. I have More Teeth than the Osmond Family.
- Do you think you can tell?
- Did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
- Hot ashes for trees?
- Hot air for a cool breeze?
- Cold comfort for change?
- Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
- Ground Control to Major Tom, your circuit's dead, there's something wrong! Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear me, Major Tom?
- Come and see the real thing, come and see the real thing, come and see / Come and see the real thing, come and see the real thing, come and see / There's a meaning there, but the meaning there, does it really mean a thing?
- Er, possibly, but honestly it was such a Mind Screw I didn't understand it at all.
- They aren't stupid questions, but they could just as well be "When is purple?" or "Why does Thursday?" if you see what I mean.
- It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing.
- It's got what it takes... so tell me, why can't this be love?
- Oh, Superman, where are you now, when everything's gone wrong somehow?
- Over here. But you're over there, and over there has to take care of itself.
- Up, up and away, away from me...
- Superman's dead
- As he walked into the blinding golden light he turned and looked back over his shoulder. He smiled at me... I never saw Superman again.
- He's not dead. He's up there fixing the sun. And when he's done, he'll be back. And I'll be here waiting for him.
- What kind of fool do you take me for?
- I don't know. What kinds are there?
- The Fool on the Hill
- Oh, don't you dare mistake me for another fool, I'm the one who pulls the strings, now you're my tool.
- Why, why, why, Delilah?
- Should I stay or should I go?
- That’s up for the Fates to decide.
- If you don't pay your rent, it's not really up to you.
- Go... don't you go, Won't you stay with me one more day?
- Why can't you just leave here and die?!
- We have to go back, Kate! WE HAVE TO GO BACK!
- I won't leave again.
- But the truth is, I'm really happy here! I mean, my aura has never been pinker!
- Tamama, you won’t leave me, right? Right? We’re friends. Sure, I yell at you, and threaten you, and say mean things about your mom, but that’s just ‘cause I’m trying to build your character and make you a better soldier than the annoying suck-up you are.
- Go away, you fucking gay!
- I'll be gone again in the morning. Guess we'll meet when we're both dreaming.
- Don't look back, 'cause we're not coming back!
- "We want you to go." "Tough shit, I'm not!"
- Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
- You'll change your name or change your mind, and leave this fucked up place behind!
- Did you write the book of love? And do you have faith in God above, if The Bible tells you so?
- No one can tell me what to do!
- Nobody can tell what is right and what is wrong, what is righteous and what is evil. Even if there is a god and I had his teachings before me, I would think it through and decide if that was right or wrong myself.
- I WOULD NEVER, EVERRRR, BOW DOWN TO THAT EVIL SON OF A BITCH!
- There's a man walking up to the front door with a Bible, a suit, and a cross. I'll answer the door so politely, and do my best to tell him off. So I said, "Hey now, it's a little too late for me to change now. And even if you showed me the way how, I don't have time tonight."
- Does Humor Belong in Music?
- True Art Is Angsty.
- What humor?
- Who's bad?
- Dominic Badguy?
- I'm not just bad. I'm the Big Bad.
- I AM!!!
- Not now, but it sure was back when Colin Baker was the Doctor.
- I'm not the bad guy, I'm just a bit surprising...
- Bad? I'm not bad, I-I'm the good guy here! He just doesn't get it. Do you think I'm bad?
- I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.
- Be the bad guy.
- We're not bad people, Mac... just underachievers who have to make up for lost time.
- I'm the bad guy, that's fine, it's no fault of mine and some justice at last will be served!
- I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one who I'd rather be than me.
- I'm soooooooooooo BAD!
- Tobi is a bad boy!
- We aren't bad people. We just come from a bad place.
- I'm the bad guy... duh!
- I'm a bad man! How bad? Real bad! I'm a 12.0 on the 10.0 scale of badness!
- Brother, I am bad, and they know I'm bad.
- I'm here to tell ya, honey, that I'm Bad to the Bone.
- I’m bad! So baddy! Of badness, I’m the daddy! Come on, I want to see a more evil bloke than me!
- Who is dis doin' this synthetic type of alpha beta psychedelic funkin'?
- Tell me why, ain't nothing but a heartache? Tell me why, ain't nothing but a mistake?
- Love Hurts
- You're a teenager. You're not ready for adult romantic relationships yet.
- You were born! That was a mistake!
- I can't get enough of you, baby, can you get enough of me?
- I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here?
- Is that your boy's cologne?
- It's Your Mom's cologne.
- Psycho killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?
- C'est "tueur psychopathe."
- Irish whiskey, white creme de cacao, crème de banane, cocoa nib-infused Campari and a couple dashes of absinthe shaken with ice and served up in a Nick & Nora glass.
- And can you tell me, doctor, why I still can't get to sleep?
- And why the Channel 7 chopper chills me to my feet?
- And what's this rash that comes and goes, can you tell me what it means?
- I'll read you one very last page if you swear you'll Go the Fuck to Sleep.
- Because you killed Duncan.
- Thanks to modern chemistry, sleep is now optional.
- I, too, have insomnia, but unlike you, mine is not caused by depression.
- A good night's sleep is the first step to kicking ass.
- When I don't get enough sleep, I get irritable. And you don't want to make me -- [gunshot]
- Who listens to the radio?
- What's the matter with the clothes I'm wearing?
- What's the matter with the car I'm driving?
- What's the matter with the crowd I'm seeing?
- Do you object to my fashion sense? Doesn't it suit me?
- You don't like it? But business has nearly doubled!
- He has a point. A belly shirt is hardly a uniform.
- It affords little protection, but it does provide mobility — and it's fashionable!
- Who goes out dressed like that?! How do you live, knowing you're one strong breeze or sudden cough away from a massive wardrobe malfunction?!
- Are you sure this is clothing?
- Ever had that nightmare where you are at work in your underwear? That's me. Everyday.
- Rarely has the costume bill for so many dancers been so low.
- That's the kind of armor a male stripper would wear. Are we being invaded by strippers?
- I don't hear my fans complaining.
- Your clothes don't matter. Give them to me, now.
- Your clothes are outdated and ugly. (Someone had to tell you!)
- Hey! You sayin' my clothes are clownlike? Oh God, I feel so insecure! Please be my friend!
- I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for 18 years goes up in smoke, and you...are wearing...HIS MERCHANDISE!
- You look like you're gonna tell your friend not to go to school tomorrow.
- Where can you find pleasure, search the world for treasure, learn science technology?
- Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true, on the land or on the sea?
- Where can you learn to fly planes, or to skin dive, study oceanography?
- Sign up for the big band, or sit in the grandstand when your team and others meet?
- What's love got to do, got to do with it?
- What's love but a second hand emotion?
- Who needs a heart, when a heart can be broken?
- All Love Is Unrequited.
- All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
- All the lonely people, where do they all belong?
- Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, so... probably a space station?
- YO, YO, YO, YO, YO!!! WHAT IT IS, MOTHERFUCKERS?!
- Amazing what a good breakfast pickles make, isn't it?
- I hate pickles.
- Snap a pickle, not your wrist!
- With friends like you, who needs friends?
- Have you ever stopped to watch a bluebird drop from a tree, and take to the air?
- Me neither.
- WOULD YOU LIKE TO?
- Can you hear the drums, Fernando?
- What if god was one of us?
- Are you old enough?
- If I go will you follow me through the cracks and hollows?
- Who's Soulja Boy, and what the heck is that dance?
- Soulja Boy? Never heard of him. And that dance you're watching...they are dancing so that rain can never reach the truth.
- Who made "Party Rock Anthem"?
...
What's so funny? - How can you just leave me standing/Alone in a world that's so cold?
- Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
- Hold on, hold on, hold on, can we switch the language?
- Well, all right. Beth am y Gymraeg?
- No Dub for You.
- Howdy, angel! Where did you hide your wings?
- Who says I'm am angel?
- Can you stake my heart? Can you stake my heart? Can you stake me before the sun goes down?
- If you're a vampire, the sunlight will kill you anyway.
- Pshh... Steaks?! You can't slay a vampire with a slab of meat!
- I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed!
- A stake? Only if it catches you in the heart, and then it just paralyzes you.
- Will these even work without steak sauce?
- Are We Not Men?
- Can anybody find me somebody to love?
- If you want a girl who would rather kill you than kiss you, you can have her!
- I respect you all regardless of the outcome. But I can't love you. Not after last time…
- Fried chicken tramp! You want to be your mother's lover? In earnest?
- There is no right woman for you, Wayne. And my guess is, if there ever was you've already met her and she's either killed herself or become a lesbian.
- I don't really want your twisted love. I really don't.
- Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
- Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
- So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?
- So you think you can love me and leave me to die?
- Danny, don't you know that you are hot as fuck on the inside?
- Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
- Neither.
- How long? How long must we sing this song?
- Now, Watergate does not bother me. Does your conscience bother you? (Tell the truth!)
- It's a dead man's party. Who could ask for more?
- Okay, so you're a rocket scientist. That don't impress me much, 'cause you've got the brains but have you got the touch?
- Okay, so you're Brad Pitt. That don't impress me much, 'cause you've got the looks but have you got the touch?
- Okay, so you've got a car. That don't impress me much, 'cause you've got the moves but have you got the touch?
- If he had a semi-trailer, he might have The Touch.
- So what, do you think you're Elvis or something?
- You're Tarzan?
- Captain Kirk, maybe?
- Good Thing, where have you gone?
- What do you do for money, honey?
- I look for butterflies that sleep among the wheat: I make them into mutton-pies, and sell them in the street. I sell them unto men who sail on stormy seas; and that's the way I get my bread--A trifle, if you please.
- I go my ways, and when I find a mountain-rill, I set it in a blaze; and thence they make a stuff they call Rowland's Mascar-Oil--Yet two-pence-halfpenny is all they give me for my toil.
- I hunt for haddock's eyes among the heather bright, and work them into waistcoat-buttons in the silent night. And these I do not sell for gold ord coin of silvery shine, but for a copper halfpenny, and that will purchase nine. I sometimes dig for buttered rolls, or set limed twigs for crabs: I sometimes search the grassy knolls for wheels of Hansome-cabs. And that's the way by which I get my wealth--and very gladly will I drink Your Honour's noble health.
- My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and at least once a day retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off, while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble hell.
- My hobby is to slowly peel the skins off the rabbits I catch- especially cute little bunnies like you! And my friend here is thirsty for blood.
- I've been going through our records and it seems that we've been paying you to do nothing but loaf about on the couch.
- I'm working for an hourly wage. I went to high school, didn't do great.
- Can't you give people a Christian greeting before you start asking about money?
- How come you're always such a fussy young man? / Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran / Well, don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan?
- Let them die, and decrease the surplus population!
- What if you are the surplus population?
- Let them die, and decrease the surplus population!
- Well, I'm yelling, and we're playing, but I don't know what I'm saying, what's the message I'm conveying? Can you tell me what I'm saying?
- The council was impressed, of course -- could he bring balance to the Force?
- I sued Ben Affleck... Aw, do I even need a reason?
- So this is Christmas, and what have you done?
- Baby, tell me does she love you like the way I love you? Does she stimulate you, attract and captivate you? Tell me does she miss you, existing just to kiss you, Like the way I do?
- Tell me, does she want you, infatuate and haunt you? Does she know just how to shock you, electrify and rock you? Does she inject you, seduce you and affect you, like the way I do?
- Yes, she knows how to shock me. And electrify me.
- Tell me, does she want you, infatuate and haunt you? Does she know just how to shock you, electrify and rock you? Does she inject you, seduce you and affect you, like the way I do?
- Are you ready? Are you ready for this? Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
- I Was Born Ready.
- Are you happy? Are you satisfied? How long can you stand the heat?
- He is a man who is ready for anything... Almost anything. Hmhmhmhahaha!
- You're so vain, I bet you think this song is about you, don't you? Don't you?
- It's All About Me.
- Actually, it does. I'm the main character.
- Untwist your panties, older me! I'm a star!
- Hey, I might have a high opinion of myself and a low opinion of everyone else, but that doesn't make me arrogant.
- The story was about me. God, you're such a narcissist!
- Here I am, working hard to take over the world so that all mankind will worship the glory of me, and you're just thinking about yourself.
- I'm doing it all for me! Me!
- Francine, how can you be so selfish? I'm doing this for ME!
- I'M THE TALENT! ME! NOT THE ENGINEER! ME!
- You're not so good at hiding the fact that you don't like me. And if you wanna fight me, you can come and find me any day. Though I'm not the type to ever throw a fist over things like this, I'd really like the chance to speak my goddamn mind.
- Well, I remember when you said that you hate everything I do. You didn't have a reason then, wish I'd given one to you.
- It has everything to do with me, if you're going to act as though I am the source of every insecurity you have about your writing or your emotional life. It's not fair to anyone.
- Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?
- How Soon Is Now?
- Immediately within 1 picosecond.
- If you leave me, can I come too?
- Who understands those rap guys?
- Why you gotta be so rude? Don't you know I'm human too?
- I'm Irish. Racism is part of my culture.
- I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING! I AM AN ANIMAL! COLD-BLOODED!
- But they don't understand. All they can think of is HATE, HATE, HAAAAAAAAAATE!
- Compassion is for fools!
- That's a lie! I don't need a potion to be nice, and I'll pound anyone who says I do into mush!
- Please, trust me. I most definitely can be cheerful. I can be amiable. Agreeable. Affable. Just don't ask me to be nice. Nice has nothing to do with me.
- Ah ahym not hyuhman, Sookeh. Ah ayhm vhaympire.
- Either bring me back me missing cogs, or F*** OFF!
- Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but tonight I'm fucking you!
- Because douche!
- They know! They just don't care!
- I don't bow, curtsy, or give a shit!
- So what? We’re the bad guys!!!
- Sure, I yell at you, and threaten you, and say mean things about your mom, but that’s just ‘cause I’m trying to build your character and make you a better soldier than the annoying suck-up you are.
- Human? You? You're just a monster with no love for even your girl.
- I'm not just mean, I'm funny!
- And when has being polite ever mattered to me?
- Hmmm... I'm not very polite, that's for sure.
- Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
- Xha! Boy what's your number? Twee ses? Twee sewe? Of is jy n ag bra?
- Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night, and wouldn't you love to love her? Takes to the skies like a bird in flight, and who will be her lover?
- Do she got a booty?
- Her booty (was) flat, flat, flat.
- She's got a... GREAT ASS!! And you got your head ALL THE WAY UP IT!
- Evil is good and ass is good! And if you get you an evil piece of ass, WHEW!
- Is it weird that your ass reminds me of a Kanye West song?
- I'm not gay, but that Light Yagami is one fine piece of ass.
- Well, she's got that fucking butt, dude, that butt doesn't quit!
- What a Magnificent ass.
- It was a nice idea, butt...
- There's a lump on her rump big enough to HUMP!
- I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me?
- No... no, you'll live with it.
- I should kill you right now! I'd be a bona fide hero!
- No. I'm going to let you live, longer than you like.
- I ain't gonna kill ya! That'd be cowardly! Monty Burns cowardly! I'm just gonna watch you squirm...
- You! I'll KILL you!
- You don't fear death. You welcome it. Your punishment must be more severe.
- Fine, I'll kill you later.
- He's lost all of his power, and for him that's the worst punishment!
- I want him to live a long life alone with his cowardice.
- I've done far worse than kill you, Admiral. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on... hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me. As you left her. Marooned for all eternity, in the center of a dead planet. Buried alive... Buried alive...
- Niko, come on, let's go. Let him suffer... he knows what he did. He doesn't look like he enjoys life too much.
- Heh. Now you know what failure feels like. See, I don't need to keep fighting you because I've already won. So go crawl off someplace and hide; I don't really care.
- And let you go out a hero? I think not. I'd rather you spend the rest of your life in SHAME!
- That would be the easy way out, Megatron. You don't deserve it.
- I should make you pull the trigger. But that would make us no better than you. Throw the gun away. Turn around. Walk until your feet bleed. And then keep walking.
- Well, damn. I was gonna just kill you, but now I think it might be more evil to let you stew on that for a while.
- Later.
- Crushing's too good for him. First, he'll spend a year in the incinerator. Year two, cryogenic refrigeration wing. Then ten years in the chamber I built where all the robots scream at you. Then I'll kill him.
- The dead don't suffer. That's why you and I are still here.
- Oh, I'm not gonna kill ya'... I'm just gonna hurt ya'... really... really... bad.
- The living are not done with you yet.
- If his mind shuts down, he can't admit his crimes.
- Don't fuck up the process; it won't be much longer until you die.
Just let me have my fun, and then I'll let you die in peace.
Oh wait, I lied, false hope is my new trend.
Disgusting, I know, but that's the general idea of me. - Here it comes! Get ready to DIE!
- I would rather save you.
- Please don't shoot him. I find his pain somewhat comforting.
- How does that feel? SHUT UP! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
- Hmm, you’re gonna have to beg a little bit harder than that, motherfucker!
- Don't worry, I won't kill you here. I'm going to take my time and let you savor your death.
- What's the story, morning glory?
- This is the story of a man named Stanley.
- This is a very sad story about the death of a man named Stanley.
- This is the story of your ancient being torn to pieces right this very moment.
- Did I ever tell you about the time your ancient was under attack? Probably not, because it's happening literally as I say this.
- This is the story of a Video Game called 'The Stanley Parable'.
- This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world.
- Here's the story of a lovely lady, who was bringing up three very lovely girls
- Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down, and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air.
- We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one eh?
- Just another love story.
- It's just a small story really, about, among other things:
* A girl
* Some words
* An accordionist
* Some fanatical Germans
* A Jewish fist fighter
* And quite a lot of thievery
I saw the book thief three times. - Kids, I'm going to tell you an incredible story. The story of how I met your mother.
- This is the story of how your father met your mother. Now including Marty.
- It is a tale, a tale of a man... and a monster...
- There's no real moral to this story. Or even a story, to be honest. There is a lot of fucking, though. Perhaps that's enough.
- Well, your story is VERY compelling, Mr. Jackass, I mean, Simpson...
- You know the story, I'm not gonna tell it to you.
- Once upon a time, I beat Shinnok!
- Once upon a time there was a rose of immortality surrounded by poison thorns and The End.
- Once upon a time, the great Demigod of the Wind and Sky, Shapeshifter, Hero of Men, People’s Champion, and 10-time WWE titleholder Dwayne Johnson got bored and decided to steal an Infinity Stone from the Earth Mother. Unfortunately, this was stupid. A lava monster happened, and now we’re all going to die.
- The storyline is yours for the making!
- I'm writing a screenplay. But it's not about you or what we were, it's about a new girl, you've never met her. She's just got your name, and she looks exactly the same.
- I once killed 3 little birds. Let me tell you the story.
- It's the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.
- Have you heard about Hugo and Kim? Did they really get pinned?
- Episode one is gonna be all about how I brush my teeth in the morning, while episode two shows my daily commute to work! Haha, it's gonna be a banger!
- I said 'Hey, what's going on?'
- For those of you who just skipped that, we're going to Disneyland to find Mister Silly-String! Well, close enough.
- George and Chadling have apparently merged, Mynd is there and missing his arms and legs, Proto Man is stuck in a block of cheese, Nate is spread all over everything in a fine mist, and they're all standing on a pile of ninjas.
- To cut a long story short, Gary nip-notized everyone.
- To make a long fucking story short, I put a whole bag of jellybeans up my ass.
- How about you Read the Freaking Manual?
- Absolutely no clue.
- I don't know what's ahead or what the ending will bring. I just need to take a minute and then try again to take out the king.
- It's the end of the world as we know it. And I feel fine.
- Well, both the Saiyans are down, one of the bald guys is getting choked out and the other one is quacking.
- Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind?
- Can he walk at all? Or if he moves will he fall?
- Is he alive or dead? Has he thoughts within his head?
- We'll just pass him there. Why should we even care?!
- e's BLIND, man! He cannae SEE!
- Oh my god! He's so white! I'm going blind!
- It's not like you were blind, but something had you fleeing.
- I'm blinded! Intermittently!
- I can see! I CAN FIGHT!
- Who Said We're Wack?
- How could the devil turn the blue sky black?
- How many babies born won't ever reach their dreams?
- And how could a person call another person wack?
- Yo-Landi, can I come visit?
- Whatcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk?
- Take it to a disposal site. I'm not going to keep so much junk in my car forever, you know.
- Why does everyone make fun of my pants?
- What would you say if they were calling you a radical? A liberal? Oh, fanatical, criminal?
- I'd pretty much expect it from Fox News.
- Who do you think you are, running 'round leaving scars, collecting your jar of hearts, and tearing love apart?
- Let me ask a question to the present day - how the hell did Eve wind up with all the damn blame?
- Because... well, uh... Because I have to blame somebody, don't I?
- We must blame them, and cause a fuss, before somebody thinks of blaming us!
- I don't blame myself. See, Mr. Gitts, most people never have to face the fact that at the right time and the right place, they're capable of...anything.
- Blame whoever rang the front doorbell, 'cuz they obviously triggered off the bomb I set up!
- Somehow, this is your fault!
- It is a poor shepherd who blames his flock, Apostle.
- I gotta blame somebody, otherwise it's all my fault. Fuck that.
- Shut up! I'm the boss, I can blame whoever I want!
- Oh, I see! Oh, oh! It was no one's fault. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Well, then, problem solved. Oh, wait no. There's still another human in here!
- There are certain men in the world who rather see everybody hung before they'll take blame.
- It's not my fault, if in God's plan,
He made the Devil so much stronger than a man! - It was all a setup. That hack put my fan in danger to steal the glory and humiliate me!
- First rule of leadership: Everything is your fault.
- Where did you come from, Cotton Eye Joe?
- Young man, are you listening to me? I said, young man, what do you want to be?
- Mary, did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- Why?
- What child is this who laid to rest on Mary's lap is sleeping?
- What child is this who is resting in Mary's lap?
- And I sure would like some sweet company, and I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say?
- Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?
- Mr. Blue Sky, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long. Where did we go wrong?
- Are you ready for it?
- Aye aye, Captain!
- I'm very excited now... The anticipation! Oooh, I always learn so much from a liive dissection. ... A dissection? No-no-no-no-no, that sounds... humane. Your death will be... painful.
- Oh no, they were ready for that!
- What you got for me? Just bring it on! What's it gonna be? I'm ready for it!
- For what, Earthrealmer?
- Okay, boy, my cock — er, uh, my letter is ready to go up my ass!
- Is there life on Mars?
- So much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with taking the back streets?
- Why did you have to hit me like that, mommy?
- Why did you have to be such a bitch?!
- Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
while handicapped people make handicapped faces.
I'm an asshole! - Life's a bitch, now so am I!
- You're just a lying little bitch who ruins things
And wants the world to burn. - Because douche!
- It's the way they've always treated me.
- So what? We’re the bad guys!!!
- Well...in case you didn't realize...I...am not nice!
- I'm a bitch, I'm a lover,
I'm a child, I'm a mother,
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint,
I do not feel ashamed;
I'm your hell, I'm your dream,
I'm nothing in between,
You know you wouldn't want it any other way. - Some days I'm a super bitch
Up to my old tricks
But it won't last forever
Next day I'm your super girl
Out to save the world
And it keeps gettin' better. - I'M SORRY, BUT I JUST DON'T LIKE YOU!
- I'm ain't no bitch! I'm NOT no bitch!
- I'm an evil bitch, baby!
- Stop talking to your mother that way, you son of a bitch!
- I treat you like toilet paper because it'll make you grow up to be strong! I really do love you, honest!
- Disgusting, I know, but that's the general idea of me.
- At this point, I'm pretty much the Queen Bitch of the Universe.
- I do not regret. With my choices, I'm rather proud.
- I got the whip, got the bitch, gotta keep it undercover.
- Kyle mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world! She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls! On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch, on Wednesday though Saturday she's a bitch! Then on Sunday, just to be different, she's a super King Kamehameha biatch!
- Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
- Why don't you, why don't you just fuck off and die?!
- Why can't you just fuck off and die?!
- Why can't you just leave here and die?!
- How would you like to see how it feels, mommy?!
- WHERE IS THE PAIN?
- You have been accused of mass mental cruelty. How do you plead?
- Think you've got the best of me? Think you've got the last laugh?!
- Am I buggin' ya?
- You're pissing me off! Translation
- Somethin' buggin' ya?
- How come no one older than me ever seems to understand the things I want to do?
- What about the bleeding earth? Can't you feel its wounds?
- What about Abraham?
- DO WE GIVE A DAMN?!
- Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
- We don't, don't give a fuck, and we won't ever give a fuck until you, you give a fuck about me and my generation!
- I don't care, I love it!
- A vampire cares about only one thing. Drinking. Your. Blood!
- Me Grimlock no care whole planet fall apart! Make no difference to me Grimlock.
- I don't bow, curtsy, or give a shit!
- Humanity is dying and all I can think about is how I don't give a fuck.
- With all due respect, did you come here just to talk about some Gaia theory? To tell us that the planet is... alive? That is has a spirit? That's a fairy tale! And I'm sorry, but we don't have time for that.
- Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken?
- I can sell it, but I have never eaten it. I am UNABLE to eat it. Not even a nibble.
- Inedible. Tastes like chicken.
- I'm not one of your fried chicken tramps.
- They haven't stopped making deep-fried chicken, have they?
- You mean they have to stop making deep-fried chicken?
- Stephano just glued deep-fried chicken to the sign on his donut!
- Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
- Don't touch meeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
- Would you laugh?
- Oh please tell me this: now would you die for the one you love?
- You should know the space is holy; do you really wanna go?
- Why wait until the middle of a cold, dark night?
- Who's this woman in my bed?
- Your daughter.
- Who the fuck you think you fuckin' with?!
- The wrong people.
- With you.
- Is it weird that your ass reminds me of a Kanye West song?
- What song?
- Is it weird that your eyes remind me of a Coldplay song?
- Is it weird that your bra remind me of a Katy Perry song?
- Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
- Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with 'goodbye'? Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?
- Why don't you hit me with your best shot?
- I keep rolling friggin' 1s!
- Here it comes! Get ready to DIE!
- Watch out... when you ask for something... you MIGHT GET IT! SHORYUKEN!
- Hold your fire! This man isn't black!
- Can we agree that duels are dumb and immature?
- Fine. You want to see what happens so bad? Watch what happens when I cast a spell I don't know!
- There isn't actually much worse I can do without raising this game's age rating.
- You Are Already Dead
- All you people, can't you see, can't you see, how your love's affecting our reality?
- Love is a very powerful force in the universe. Even more so when it's focused into a coherent beam of energy. Every time I cast Hadoken, it siphons away some of the love in the universe. I'm not sure how much, exactly, but I'm given to understand the divorce rate goes up with each blast.
- I Reject Your Reality, and substitute my own!
- Reality is my bitch, and I keep my pimp hand strong.
- Sir, I don't think love is a physical force that can stop us from being mauled by a grimm.
- The power of love is bullshit! The power of swords and violence is where the money is.
- Huh, how did she... There's not supposed to be any way to break out of admin-paralysis. Guess I'll have to add that one to the log. "Power of Love might cause paralysis to fail". Hehe, it's the damnest thing, somehow that never came up in beta-testing.
- The times of fakin' love are through now! Sharing real connections' what we're made for!
- Now what the fuck are you; some kind of half-assed astronaut?
- We're navigators, we're aviators, eatin' taters, masturbatin' alligators, bombardiers, we got no fears, won't shed no tears, we're pushin' the frontiers of transcendental perception.
- Mission Control Is Off Its Meds.
- All this science, I don't understand. It's just my job five days a week; a Rocket Man.
- Do you remember a guy that's been in such an early song?
- Can I have a peppermint?
- You can have it...for a price.
- Are you gonna take me home tonight?
- What's He Building In There?
- We're building a haunted house for Halloween.
- So come on, sandwich, build me a lemon because froggy wants to come home.
- We're directing a porno.
- A Gami Gang theme park!
- They're gonna build a shop where we can go buy bolts and screws!
- I'll build myself a getaway submarine!
- I built a Garden of Eden! Now give me something back for my time!
- We make ourselves castles every tide we're around.
- I'm dirty, mean, and mighty unclean, I'm a wanted man, public enemy number one... understand?
- How can the life of such a man be in the palm of some fool's hand?
- Is this the way it's gonna be forever?
- Well, she might have looked like a princess -- why'd you have to give her your address?
- Nonsense! One thing I pride myself on, Jafar; I'm an excellent judge of character. *
- Oh, I see. Just 'cause she has a diabolical laugh and commands legions of horrible zombies and has 'Evil Princess' embroidered on all of her hankies, you assume she's evil. That's so shallow!
- I'm sick of going to the wrong castle looking for her!
- Who can it be now?
- Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree?
- Who run the world?
- The president doesn't have any real power. This entire country is really controlled by THE PATRIOTS!
CONSPIRACY THEORY, CONSPIRACY THEORY, CONSPIRACY THEORY!EVERYTHING IS MINE, THE WORLD IS MINE, AMERICA IS MINE! - Hey, little girl, is your daddy home? Did he go and leave you all alone?
- Who'll come a-waltzing matilda with me?
- The farmer and a bunch of cops who'd like to ask you some questions about a missing sheep.
- You'll never take me alive! (Jumps into billabong)
- The farmer and a bunch of cops who'd like to ask you some questions about a missing sheep.
- We're leaving together, but still it's farewell, and maybe we'll come back to Earth, who can tell?
- I guess there is no-one to blame. We're leaving the ground! Will things ever be the same again?
- Are you worried about your faith?
- Say, what's in this drink?
- About 300 cc's of Thorazaine.
- A proprietary mix of liqueurs and spirits, garnished with orange rind and nutmeg- oh, and there’s a shit ton of ketamine in it.
- Apples. Well, mostly apples.
- The juice from one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit, one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V, three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin, four litres of Fallian marsh gas, a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger, a sprinkle of Zamphuor, and an olive.
- That's some seriously f**ked-up shit, Kenickie! You talking about roofies?!
- Who's gonna make the gravy?
- When we all fall asleep, where do we go?
- Am I not pretty enough?
- Is my heart too broken?
- Do I cry too much?
- Am I too outspoken?
- Don't I make you laugh?
- Should I try it harder?
- Why do you see right through me?
- Am I a girl?
- Oh, baby, baby, how was I supposed to know that something wasn't right?
- Howzat!? You messed about, I caught you out, howzat!?
- Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
- I'm a lot better than him, so why would I?
- What else is in the teaches of peaches?
- I'm sorry, the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now. Why?
- I took off her soul off her body!
- Are You Experienced?
- Professor, what's another word for pirate treasure?
- What's that coming over the hill? Is it a monster? Is it a monster?
- A monster? No, I am a devil!
- He's no monster, Gaston. You are!
- I AM A MONSTER COACH, THE FIRST MANKIND ALL OVER THE WORLD.
- It's not like I'm a monster; I'll let you live long enough to see everyone you love die...
- I'm not the monster here, you are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash poisoning my perfect world.
- You're a monster. I never want to see you again. Do you hear me? Never!
- I guess I don't know what to call you. I was thinking of "Monster" but I didn't want to insult the cards.
- "Monster" is a relative term. To a canary, a cat is a monster. We're just used to being the cat.
- I will not die a monster!
- Who made who?
- You and Omega are my creations! But you betray me as you stand here before me!
- You ungrateful little pest... Have you forgotten that it was my grandfather who created you?
- I MADE you! WITH MY COOOOOC-
- Listen to me, motherfucker, I know about yours because I crea- I mean...
- Shadow, you are my greatest creation of all time for the battle royale.
- Sydney Newman and the BBC.
- I am my own creation.
- Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name?
- And if the Blue Sky Mining Company won't come to my rescue, if the sugar refining company won't save me... who's gonna save me?
- How can I miss you when you won't go away?
- What do you see when you look at me?
- Kickin' in the front seat, sittin' in the back seat, gotta make my mind up. Which seat can I take?
- Someone needs to try sitting on the roof.
- Are we having fun yet?
- Not while Nickelback is playing.
- Crash is on the move.
We're having so much fun.
I actually lied, we're not having fun.
I'd rather staple my thumb.
[Wilhelm scream] - Having so much fun, we forget to check where this crossroad's taking us. But hey, here we come!
- Squidward's circus is boring and the cotton candy is stale!
- Do you love me? Do you, surfer girl?
- Can I play with madness?
- Tell me, why are we so blind to see that the ones we hurt are you and me?
- Blind? Us? Are you out of your mind?
- Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?
- NON! NON! NON! NON! NON!
- I dunno what you're sayin', but that'd be a hell no.
- From my heart or from my hand, why don't people understand my intentions?
- Have you ever been alone at night, thought you heard footsteps behind, and turned around and no-one's there? And as you quicken up your pace, you find it hard to look again, because you're sure there's someone there?
- Someone was following Stanley. He was sure of it. If he checked over his shoulder now, he would surely catch them. It was only a matter of time.
- Where your eyes don't go a filthy scarecrow waves its broomstick arms and does a parody of each unconscious thing you do. When you turn around to look it's gone behind you. On its face it's wearing your confused expression where your eyes don't go.
- Look behind you. I said, look behind you.
- But where were they going without ever knowing the way?
- Angie, Angie, when will these clouds all disappear?
- They just did.
- Why don't you get a haircut and get a real job?
- Can you read the kanji on the board? Can you read the shape of her heart? Who stained that heart black? Hey! Who was it? WHO WAS IT?
- Can you do this problem on an abacus? Can you undo this collar on her neck? Can we keep going like this? Way are you gonna do? I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!
- BOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!
- When are you gonna come down? When are you going to land?
- What's so civil about war, anyway?
- I'm too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat, what you think about that?
- You beside the dance floor, what do you cry for?
- Do you really care? Why are you standing there?
- I'm waiting for the right time to kill you and rule this realm!
- Sir, you want some piss in your mocha?
- Would you love a monsterman?
- Well, it's too late to say you're sorry. How would I know? Why should I care?
- Do you like how I walk?
- Do you like how I talk?
- Do you like how my face disintegrates into chalk?
- Do you like how my face has learned to tick like a clock?
- You humor Darkseid.
- You know I hate to ask, but Are 'Friends' Electric?
- Friends airs on TV, All TVs are electric.
- What kinda square pantses a guy in the middle of a crowd of faceless Toads?
- Waluigi, obviously. He’s the one with a dance of destruction.
- What'll you do when you get lonely, and no-one's waiting by your side?
- I Work Alone, so why would I feel lonely?
- Hello, is there anybody in there?
- Nobody Here but Us Birds
- Nobody Here but Us Statues
- Nobody, and I mean absolutely NOBODY...AT ALL!
- Well, you had to be a big shot, didn't you?
- WHY BE THE [[Little Sponge]] WHO HATES ITS [[$4.99]] LIFE WHEN YOU CAN BE A [[BIG SHOT!!!]] [[BIG SHOT!!!!]] [[BIG SHOT!!!!!]]
- Oh, you're a big shot here, but nobody else knows! Now I want you to leave me alone!
- Oh, you're Mr. Big Shot, and life's not about what you've got, so don't you tell me I'm not happy.
- Son, when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned?
- Will you defeat them, your demons and all the nonbelievers, the plans that they have made?
- Can you put a price on peace?
- Can you see the writing on the wall?
- What's this, then? "Romanes Eunt Domus"? "People called Romanes, they go to the house"?
- It says, "Romans go home!"
- No, it doesn't!
- The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls.
- All in all, it was just another brick in The Wall.
- And this is the inscription that was written: MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN.
- Graffiti is on the brick wall next to where he lay.
- You're in way over your head. You're gonna drown in the things that you said.
- What's this, then? "Romanes Eunt Domus"? "People called Romanes, they go to the house"?
- What did I see? Could I believe that what I saw that night was real and not just fantasy?
- That's lucid dreaming!
- Can’t we give ourselves one more chance? Why can’t we give love that one more chance?
- Can I put my balls in yo jaws?
- I heard a rumor -- what have you done to her?
- I killed her and she had it coming.
- Black Hole Sun, won't you come, and wash away the rain?
- Not on this planet.
- I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay... ain't it sad?
- Are you satisfied with an average life?
- Why be a wallflower when you can be a venus flytrap?
- Was I meant to feel happy that my life was just about to change?
- Can't hold on or life won't change!
- I thought it'd change when I got older, but the same year came over and over, and the only change that I could feel was the aging of my bones!
- Every day I hope for change, but I ain't changing! Every time I rearrange, I end up staying more the same!
- We don't wanna talk about how everything is changing! Everything is changing, and I can't wrap my head around it!
- Is there any possibility you'll quit gossiping about me to hide your insecurity?
- If you have to ask, you may be projecting.
- Do I need to lie to make my way in life?
- Can you teach me how to feel real? Can you turn my power off?
- Love... who needs that sentimental bullshit, anyway?
- When did I ever feel love?
- Her father told me, son, that I should leave! To be a lover is to be the new naive!
- If it makes you happy, Then why the hell are you so sad?
- It's happy for deep people.
- Of course I'm not happy! Look at me! I'm a big fat slob! I've got bigger titties than you do! I've got more chins than a Chinese phonebook! I've not seen my willy in two years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead!…I can't stop eating! I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive…myself.
- I'm thirty-eight years old, drivin' a crappy car, with a son who doesn't respect me, and I'm one Snickers pie away from losing my foot to diabetes.
- Bizarro am not happy.
- Where's the mini skirt made of snakeskin?
- It's a kilt! Sicko!
- And who's the other guy that's singing in Van Halen?
- When did reality become TV?
- Whatever happened to sitcoms? Game shows?
- When did Motley Crue become classic rock?
- And when did Ozzy become an actor?
- Why don't presidents fight the war?! Why do they always send the poor?!
- You actin' kinda shady, then callin' me baby, why the sudden change?
- Who's gonna teach me peace and happiness?
- There is no such thing as peace or happiness in this Crapsack World...
- You think I'm psycho, don't you, mama?
- Can you feel the pain, see the mess and trouble in your brain?
- I cannot feel pain.
- How can I even know what lies ahead if I don't go?
- You don't need to go to see what lies ahead.
- Who can believe that there would be some gore with those wimps like I said before?
- What if I decided to get out of the comfort zone? Would you be brave enough to trust me and come alone?
- Grab your Game Boy, get in the car. You could be the king and I'll be the czar. Exactly what of?
- Do you realize you're wasting all of your potential on these stupid things that just don't matter?
- Yeah the Sunk Cost Fallacy is a bitch.
- "Potential"? I'm PERFECT!
- Why do you hurt me?
- Why does it feel like you're looking through me?
- Why don't you tell me all of your stories?
- Why don't you take me by the hand?
- What is your full name?
- When is your birthday?
- What do your friends call you?
- Are you lonely or are you happy?
- What's your favorite thing to do when you're sad and alone and you wanna feel better?
- Eat Comfort Food.
- And what if everything that you ever knew was wrong? The facts you told yourself weren't true at all!
- I've been studying for years, patiently. Is this as far as you can take me?
- All to kill you for sport because I was Using You All Along.
- Remember when we'd hear the distant sound of human life?
- That is not in my memory.
- If I was made equal, is this what I'd get?
- Equal? You? You were always and purely beneath me!
- Hey ho, don't you know? It's a good old-fashioned puppet show!
- Wait, if I'm on fire, how am I so deep in love?
- I'm gonna need more information.
- Just remembered it's 2014. Do you know what that really means?
- Happy New Year 1999!
- Huh!? It's 2011!
- OH GOD WE'RE LATE FOR THE CROODS PREMIERING MARCH 22ND 2013
- 2014? Really? We are billions of years ahead of that now.
- What do I do if I wanna get through to you?
- Are you metal?
- He was turned to steel, in the great magnetic field, when he travelled time, for the future of mankind
- I'm a metalhead, a metalhead, a metalhead, a metalhead.
- I'm made of metal, My circuits gleam, I am perpetual, I keep the country clean!
- I'm so metal I piss oil
I'm so metal I shit bullets
Wrap my condoms in tin foil - Although this metal's part of me, I shall not lose my sanity.
- Metal/Mettle is proven in kombat.
- Why do fools fall in love?
- What's with these homies dissin' my girl?
- Why do they gotta front?
- What did we ever do to these guys that made them so violent?
- I hear Meredith's got a new boyfriend; I hope he can hold his own. Do you remember the last one? What was his name again? What was his problem?
- Were you ever wanted? Were you ever needed?
- You're adopted and I don't like you.
- No family needs you.
- They decided when I was fifteen or so that we didn't "feel like a real family" to them and an only child wasn't enough. Apparently, they'd always been planning to have more children, but I'd been "a handful" (so you see, this is my fault) and they put it off.
- Does your mother love you? Does your father care?
- Neither of my parents showed up for my birth!
- Can't talk to my mom, don't even have a dad!
- Mom sent us a bunch of pictures from a roadtrip they went on. Which when you think about it is a pretty phenomenal thing to do. "Hi, honey! Having a great time! Glad you're not here because you'd really get in the way of me boinking my new boyfriend!"
- As a child, I dreamed of being a soccer player. My father wouldn't hear of it. 'You must master karate before you leave my house!' I still live in the basement.
- Won't you come and meet me where the neon lights are shining?
- No.
- Won't you dance behind me? Don't give up, let music save you!
- Music only ever held me back!
- Hey man, you tried your best today, and it wasn't all that great, but who really cares?
- Everybody's born to compete as he chooses, but how can someone win if winning means that someone loses?
- Second Place Is for Winners.
- Still wanna play the game? I won't be the loser. Everyone knows I would never choose ya.
- I'm a winner, see my prize! You're a loser who sits and cries!
- I win the race! I win the race! I win! I win! I win the race! I don't care what I did, I won the race and now I'm happy!
- I wonder if you're wondering where Scatland is?
- Were you going to listen to vaporwave in Sunday School?
- Was it really past tense I heard, or was it present perfect?
- Sorry, baby, I’ve been drifting again. Could you repeat the question?
- My God, how is it up there on that throne?
- Will you only feel bad if it turns out that they kill your contract?
- What you know about rolling down in the deep?
- Will they hold the wall, or will the city fall?
- Why do all the monsters come out at night?
- You know you saw them, but no one ever listens, They'll be long gone by the time the sun has risen, You feel 'em lurking, hear 'em howling in the shadows, Wreaking havoc on your perfect world.
They are the tricking trolls, They got the bell that tolls, Flash at the edge of your sight.
They only come out at night. - Everybody wants to get evil tonight, but all good devils masquerade under the light.
- Day is awesome! Night is scary!
- You know you saw them, but no one ever listens, They'll be long gone by the time the sun has risen, You feel 'em lurking, hear 'em howling in the shadows, Wreaking havoc on your perfect world.
- Tell me, how am I supposed to live without you?
- Won't you marry me...
- Do you really wanna taste it?
- This tastes just like crap.
- It tastes like fucking semen! ...or so I'd assume.
- It tastes like how Muscle Man smells!
- *Spits violently* What the fuck did you do to that?
- Tastes Like Chicken
- It's a delightful taste sensation.
- It Tastes Like Feet
- Tastes Like Friendship
- It tastes like dishwater!
- This tastes like somebody poured it through an old boot!
- It tastes like it's made with ingredients.
- Who is playing? Who's that chick, shredding on guitar?
- Who is playing? Who's that chick, heavy noise on bass?
- Who is playing? Who's that chick, pounding on the drums?
- The true loner herself, the one-girl rock band, Hitori Gotoh.
- Do you want a banana?
- A banana...? What? But... what? How? Oh, maybe the power is inside. I'm gonna eat it and you will see my wrath.
- Ooh, banana!
- Who likes bananas and not bees? You!
- Kris Get The Banana
- Potassium
- Oh, I see. Because I'm a monkey, I must love bananas, right? That is a vicious stereotype!
- Oh, no, no. You don't just cram yourself with whatever pathetic foodstuff lies at hand -- no one with any self-respect lives that way. What you want is a meal, prepared with some sensitivity and forethought.
- I love bananas so much. I could stare at them all day.
- Why lead me through a life of misery When you don't care a bag of beans for me?
- Well, I heard about the fella you been dancing with all over the neighborhood, so why didn't you ask me, baby? Or didn't you think I could?
- Why do we learn to hate, deceive and lie, hurt each other?
- Do people have a tendency to dump on you?
- Are you worried 'cause your girlfriend's just a little late?
- What's so funny 'bout peace, love, and understanding?
- Will this war really end all wars?
- Can a war really end all wars?
- Will this war bring another war?
- Damn right, it will.
- Can you tell me where my country lies?
- I'd start with wherever the government usually meets.
- Hi kids, do you like violence?
- Violence is the question. The answer: Yes.
- I'd rather give it a rest.
- What if I told you I could show you something?
- What if I told you I could make you live?
- Do you see Banana Man, hopping over on the white hot sand?
- Won't you please stop complaining?
- Betina, complaining about Cookie's complaining isn't gonna help.
- Not until you're dead, nigga.
- But I'm not complaining.
- Is he a dot, or is he a speck? When he's underwater does he get wet, or does the water get him instead?
- How many cold, vitriolic gazes, before these signs of wear will show?
- Did I ever reach out begging for crumbs?
- Are you here in my head?
- Did I ever reach out, asking your view? Your redundant thoughts on what I should do?
- See the city burn on the other side // Going down in flames as two worlds collide // Who can now look back with a sense of pride?
- Why don't you ask the kids at Tiananmen Square, Was fashion the reason why they were there?
- What did it matter? Why would it matter? And could we heal?
- Do we remember connected rainbows?
- Do you like waffles?
- How do you feel? You've been concealing your worries from the world, but you can reveal them to me.
- I feel happy, and sad, and scared, and sad again!
- I must confess that I am here to kill you.
- Life's tough! So what?
- Mr. Crowley, what went on in your head?
- Someone help me understand what's going on inside my mind!
- Oh, Mr. Crowley, did you talk to the dead?
- What do you mean when you say // That she's your girlfriend today?
- How would I know that this could be my fate?
- Well, bless my soul, what's wrong with me?
- You know.
- Do you want the short list or the long?
- Hey, c'mon, it's not your fault. You're just a [CENSORED].
- You smell bad! Your suckers need clipping! Your armpit hair is long enough to braid! Your breath can peel paint, and your skin is all--
- There's nothing wrong with you that I can't fix... with my hands!
- We were so far from home, so how were we to know, there'd be nothing left to plunder when we stumbled on the holy grail?
- Didn't I tell you that I know everything?
- Don't you wanna be a personality?
- Now come on, what was I supposed to do? He was out of town, and his two friends were soooo fine.
- Let them be. They'll die soon.
- Can you feel the force that it brings not to worry 'bout things?
- Where do bad folks go when they die?
- How'd you get your band name?
- Is that your real first name?
- It's just a Fan Nickname.
- Gaylord is my legal name. Nobody's called me by it since third grade.
- Now, those weren't their real names. No, uh, their real names were Shaft, Sad Sack and... A Bed. But of course, nobody could 'member those, so we took to calling them Ren and Stimpy, and uh... A Penny.
- This is not my name, but indeed it is a nickname that is given me by some that cannot abide me, and I must be content to bear it as a reproach, as other good men have borne theirs before me.
- They call me hell, they call me Stacey, they call me Her, they call me Jane. That's not my name. That's not my name. That's not my name. That's not my name. They call me quiet, but I'm a riot. Mary-Jo-Lisa, Always the same. That's not my name. That's not my name. That's not my name. That's not my name.
- His real name is Colin, but we call him Elliot because we're cool!
- It is. My name IS Inigo Montoya.
- Not anymore! From now on, you're Becky!
- Can you text and can you follow back 'cause it's my birthday?
- What if I say I'm not like the others?
- What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
- A question I've heard many times before.
- What if I say I will never surrender?
- Oooh, are you ready, girls? Oooh, are you ready now?
- Do you remember the 21st night of September?
- Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
- Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet?
- What would you prefer? Would you like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur?
- Hey, what can you say?
- You talk? In a nasally voice that reminds me of someone I hate?
- Dude, I'm just a background character, I'm not supposed to say anything! I don't even have a name!
- Well, he don't know talking good like you and me, so his vocabulistics is limited to "I" and "am" and "Groot", exclusively in that order.
- My world's on fire, how 'bout yours?
- Two words: "Fuck" and "You".
- This is fine.
- Everything is catching, yes everything is catching on fire.
- Do they know it's Christmas time?
- Thanksgiving is upon us, which means the holiday season is in full swing.
- I thought Christmas only comes once a year.
- In case you haven't noticed, there's festive things to do! So let's all rejoice for Jesus, and merry fucking Christmas to you!
- Something something blah blah to you, yeah
All the sincere wishes come true
I put vengeance on my wish list
And that's what Santa brought
So have a merry something and a happy blah blah blah.
- Which side are you on? Which side are you on?
- What's in your head, in your head, zombie, zombie, zombie?
- Who can say where the road goes?
- Where we're going, we don't NEED roads!
- Google Maps.
- After the war has been won, deception or treason, who can tell? Who stood to gain? Who stood to lose? Who did the dying?
- How does she know who I am? And why does she give a damn about me?
- She knows everything about you.
- Kerowyn, Kerowyn, where are you going?
Dressed in men's clothing, a sword by your side,
Your face pale as death, and your eyes full of fury
Kerowyn, Kerowyn, where do you ride? - Is it really such a crime
For a guy to spend his time
At the local dance at the local county jail?- It's a felony in twenty-seven states.
- Stacy, can't you see? You're just not the girl for me.
- Am I hard enough?
- When I agreed to come by and get you up, I didn't agree to get THAT up!
- Am I rough enough?
- Am I rich enough?
- I'm still richer.
- Does it strike a nerve when you think of the person that you used to be?
- I like being poor, do you like being poor?
- Whatareya? (You're a yob or you're a wanker)
- What Nationality is Les Murray?Actual Answer
- Everyone else has had more sex than me... does anybody else get that feeling?
- Humans are obsessed with scatology...
- Damn it! This always happens. I think I'm gonna score and then I never score. It's not fair. We've traveled, um, um... a hundred miles 'cause we thought we were gonna score! But now it's not gonna happen. Damn it! I'm sick and tired of this! We're never gonna score. It's just not gonna happen! We're just gonna get old like these people... but they've probably scored! It's like, this chick's a slut. And look at this guy. He's old, but he's probably scored a million times! But not us. We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score!
- Just accept you're one of those guys who'll be a virgin 'til he dies.
- Shit, why did I get drunk again
And get it on with all my friends?
Did it with my best friend, and his roommate too
And his roommate's girlfriend -- hey, what's wrong with you? - Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far?
- Oops, I did drugs again last night!
My younger self would be mortified!
'cause Captain Planet told me to say no!
Oh, what happened? - You're safe for now, but are you happy?
- I'm never happy.
- What a joke. Happiness doesn't exist in a world like this.
- What a joke. No one is safe here.
- I'm only happy when it rains.
- Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
- We will die for the dragon -- is there a reason?
- Why do we scream at each other?
- Tell me I'm the chosen one!
- Sorry, that has to be in the form of a question.
- You're not a neglected orphan sleeping in a cupboard! You're a wizard! You're the bestest wizard of all and you're also great at sports and you had rich, wizardly parents who loved you so much they died for you (but you've still got their money) and also, we brought you birthday cake!
- So can you give me one more kill for the highlight reel 'til I can't feel anything?
- Why the fuck is all the food full of ghost?!
- Where is your star? Is it far? Is it far?
- Why do you keep telling your parents to check under your bed?
- Ain't that a kick in the head?
- How to clean out stain from carpet?
- Mommy, where's Daddy? He's been gone for so long. Do you think he'll ever come home?
- MY CHILDREN, I HAVE BROUGHT THE MILK BACK FROM MY 5 YEAR TRIP TO THE SHOP!
- He didn't leave, he went to the store! And when he comes back, I'll wave those Pop-Tarts right in your face!
- Daddy can't come to the phone right now... Why? Because he's dead.
- He's buying milk.
- Daddy’s gone across the ocean … leaving only memories”
- MY CHILDREN, I HAVE BROUGHT THE MILK BACK FROM MY 5 YEAR TRIP TO THE SHOP!
- Don't you want me, baby?
- Rock'n'roll is?
- What is right? What is wrong? What is sin? Who's to decide?
- Try to realize, there is no longer black or white, good or evil. We've evolved beyond that. We all must have our own personal view of "right" and "wrong."
- When I look back upon my life, it's always with a sense of shame. I've always been the one to blame. For everything I long to do, no matter when or where or who h as one thing in common too. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a sin, it's a sin. Everything I've ever done, everything I ever do, every place I've ever been, everywhere I'm going to, it's a sin.
- What do you see in this whirlpool of insanity?
- Nothing. I'm the most sane man I know.
- Is it raining with you?
- Are you reelin' in the years?
- Peace sells... but who's buying?
- Where you going, baby?
- How on earth did I get so jaded?
- What you gonna do with all that meat?
- Everything was whited out the morning I woke up... What went wrong?
- The only thing I can see is nothing but piercing light... what went wrong?
- You ran out of useable Pokémon.
- Who do you love?
- I don't love me!
- I love-love-love-love... you
You love-love-love-love... me?
I love love love you
I love love love you
I love you
I-I-I-I... love you, love you...
Love, love, love...
Love, love, love...
Do you love me too? - I Love You, Beth Cooper
- I love myself, I want you to love me.
- I am a lass who alas loves a lad
Who alas loves a lass in Canterbury.
- Who's that standing out my window?
- Are you hallucinating?
- He's just standing there... menacingly!
- Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
- Damn right I am.
- Go on, get out of here or I'll black your other peeper!
- So, the myth is that if you get shot in the eye, it probably wouldn't kill you. Myth busted.
- What's it like having the fluids inside of your eyes boil? I'd imagine it might sting a little.
- It's just an eye. The gods saw fit to grace me with a spare.
- Who's knockin' on the wall?
- Come on, that's just you hallucinating.
- Is this another "Knock Knock" Joke?
- 'Tis some visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door-- Some late visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door;-- This it is and nothing more.
- What's that blue thing doing here?
- How many wasted lives? How many dreams did fade away?
- Where were you while we were getting high?
- I was studying the blade.
- Yes, no, maybe, I don't know... can you repeat the question?
- Did I crash land in Wonderland?
- What's with this critic, so damn sadistic, blaring on my frequency?
- How many of you can relate?
- What'cha gonna do when you get outta jail?
- Add more people to kill until the cops are powerless.
- I swear to God, you let me outta here, first thing I'm gonna do is kill again!
- Are you gonna be somebody who don't feel like somebody unless they're making somebody feel like nobody?
- And you may ask yourself... what is that beautiful house?
- It’s a pineapple under the sea.
- And you may ask yourself... where does that highway go to?
- And you may ask yourself... am I right? Am I wrong?
- And you may say to yourself... my god! What have I done?
- Are these flashing red lights warning signs?
- What is your childhood trauma?
- Seeing my parents gunned down before my eyes.
- It all began on the day of my actual birth. Both of my parents failed to show up.
- You know, I never had much as a kid. Just loving parents, and stability in a mansion, and a thriving baked goods enterprise for me to inherit. Useless crap like that.
- Tied up and raped at seven. Seriously! Seriously!
- I come from what you might call a broken home. Literally broken.
- Won't nobody help a naked man?
- How long has this been going on?
- Timeline after timeline, this has been going on for many timelines.
- What happened to Miss Independent?
- My psych, your psych, put 'em in a ring!
Let 'em fight it out, who's to blame for everything? - Are You Scared Yet?
- What do you think the teacher's gonna look like this year?
- And if I wash my hands in your dirty water, will your religion make me clean?
- I wish that I had Jessie's girl. Where can I find a woman like that?
- If ladybugs are girls, how do you make kids together?
- Blood, didn’t they want your blood?
- Do you know what's worth fighting for, When it's not worth dying for?
- And when the crescent moon turns into a new moon, the lids of five coffins open in silence. Why are those inside adorned in white once again? And why do they play heavy metal again?
- Do you wanna touch me there?
- If I have a good heart, why does the universe laugh at me?
- Who's gonna drive you home tonight?
- Guess who's back, back again?
- Ice is back with a brand new invention.
- Ghostbusters! They're back in town!
- He's Back! He's the man behind the mask! And he's out of control.
- Don't call it a comeback, I been here for years.
- Backstreet's back, alright!
- People keep asking me "Are you back?" and I haven't really had an answer. But now, yeah, I'm thinking I'm back!
- He's back again, and about time, too!
- He's back again, and he's back again again!
- I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?
- Isn't It Ironic?
- Where ya going for tomorrow?
- What Time is Love?
- Hey girl, what's your favorite film?
- Well, it's definitely not the one coating the surface of my shower. That's why I use TropeCo Magic Sponge.
- DUNE! 1984! The Alan Smithee cut, of course!
- Is she really going out with him?
- Here I go again, running out of time. Can't we think of something new?
- Stop, hey, what's that sound?
- Hear it not, Duncan; for it is a knell,
That summons thee to heaven, or to hell. - That is the sound of inevitability... It is the sound of your death.
- Poo-tee-weet?
- "Is that the Justice League calling?" "I don't hear anything." "Me neither." "Exactly!"
- Chunk, I hope that was your stomach.
- Well, I don't know—it sounds like a gall bladder attack.
- Hear it not, Duncan; for it is a knell,
- What do you get when you twerk and twirl and you work and you swerve and you swirl?
- I drove all night, crept in your room, woke you from your sleep to make love to you. Is that all right?
- Did you just what?
- Tell me, baby, what's your story?
- You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart.
- My story is much too sad to be told.
- It's the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.
- I was just a boy. A boy about your age, actually. I wanted to change the world, too. But I changed nothing. That is my story.
- What can we do when our lives fade?
- How come I end up where I started?
- D, world destruction, O-ver and overture, N, do I need, apostrophe, T need this torture?
- Is your bed made?
- This IKEA furniture takes time to assemble, please be patient.
- Hello, teacher. Tell me, what's my lesson?
- Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
- The panda who eats, shoots, and leaves.
- Why don't you all fffffade away?
- Don't you know to cry in shame, when you've got yourself to blame?
- It's Never My Fault.
- But if I wait for a holiday, could it stop my fear?
- Why are the horses racing taxis in the winter?
- Where have all the cowboys gone?
- Monsters?
- Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
- What was I made for?
- Where shall I fly? Where hide this guilty head?
- Do you like my space metaphors?
- Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power?
- What's inside a girl?
- Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
- What's the worst way to die? Burning to death or drowning?
- Burning to death while drowning.
- You could drown, or choke, or burn, or be hit by a car!
- Oh, I could throw you in the lake, or feed you poisoned birthday cake...
- Drowning is my third favorite way to die, but they're all good.
- From what I’ve tasted of desire, I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate to say that for destruction ice is also great, and would suffice.
- Where are you, my sunny feeling I knew as a kid?
- What's cooler than being cool?
- Did I earn this stupid hat? Is now really a good time for a new tattoo?
- Am I pretty enough to lie to?
- Is there cheese in the great beyond?
- Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I really that bad?
- Radio, what's new?
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