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Funny / DaThings

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The sandwich consumption heard around the world

Being one of the longest-running and most prolific YTPers on the site, DaThings has no shortage of hilarious moments, nor any shortage of molarious himents.

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     Pop Music YTP 

     Commercial and Infomercial YTP 

  • "Arby's serves some Goog Moom Foof"

  • "Of or Belonging to Arby"

  • Jej Dry
    • "He gets Aldi."
    • "Once a month for spps spaps sparkling Klingons."
    • "That was this, this was that, that was that, this was this."
    • "Add Jet Dry, with Jet Dry!"
    • "Your dishwasher was your dishwasher!"
    • "That's what I call This."
    • "Jet Dry. The besh."

  • Date Mystery

  • The Flowolf

  • The FLOWOLF: Director's Cut
    • The OW OW Cutting Show. OW.
    • "Hi, I'm Brian Collins." (jump cut) "Hi, I'm Brian." (another jump cut) "Hi, I'm Colin." (another jump cut "Hi, I'm high." (final jump cut) "Hi, I'm Briarb Lollins."
    • The FLOWOLF logo zooming in to be "OWO".
    • "Now you can get a professional, provisional haircut with no hair." (jump cut to Colin Mochrie)
    • "You should have the FLOWOLF, one foot, two small feet, One straight guy -- me, and, of course, the bottle of lubricant."
    • "If you haven't done so already, you're donezo." (cue logo reading "DONEZO")
    • "I f—king hate getting haircuts. This haircut sucks."
    • "Now turn on the FLOWOLF. Now turn on the Flowbee motor. Now turn on the floater. Now turn on the Flowbee Mowbee." (cue logo reading "FLOWBEE MOWBEE") "Now turn on the BMO."
    • "Now, you're ready to turn on me, Briarb Lollins. You might wanna verify that I'm being sucked. Get used to being sucked first. This is also a good time." (Briarb makes an odd face as he thinks) "I'm one straight guy."

  • Lilly Mays Endorses Solicitation

  • SplolqS (A short one, so here's pretty much the entire video)

  • Wilford Brimley Loses
    • "This presentation is brought to you by Liberty Medic, helping you to Get a Life."
    • "Good morning, I'm Wilford Brimley and I would like to *** you for a few minutes. I'm gonna give you diabeetus."
    • "....brought to you by Liberty Bell, helping you to die."
    • "I'm Wilford Brimley and I would like to talk to you about diabeetus."
    • "If you're over five, have diabetes, and are on Medicare, you must die."
    • "I lost all my energy, I lost my family, I lost all my ice cream and apple pie, and I think the most important thing is, I Lost the game. And alo-o-ong the tra-a-ail you're gonna die. I would encourage all of you to die."
    • "I like to say, 'we will, we will rock you....uoy.'"
    • "This presentation has been brought to by Little Bill. Help me, help me please, HELP ME!"
    • "Thanks for your time. Have a good day. PSYCH! You knew that was comin'."
    • "You oughta be laughing at my life."
    • Zombie Wilford Brimley.
    • "Well, if you have diabeetus, I don't care."

  • SusSetter Retractable Awnaw

  • Burgers and Greens
    • "Let me tell you why friends tell friends to tell friends to tell Friends..."
    • "I'm a burger."
    • "I disable people."
    • "F*cking. It's very complicated, very difficult."

  • Taking the Watch Five

  • Zooks!

  • GET OUT Gasoline Park
    • After the original poop was claimed by the real park spoofed in the video, this version removes all the references to the park by re-editing the footage further and obscuring all visual and audio references, arguably making the result funnier.
    • The multiple shots of people hanging in mid-air mid-jump.
    • "Welcome to Get. If you're under 18 years old, you must jump. No grandparents, uncles, aunts, parents, or legal guardians are accepted."
    • "Remember! No running!"
    • "Empty your pockets!" (cocks pistol) "NOW."
    • (Kid grunts like Roblox death sound) "Where's the restrooms? We gotta go to the bathroom quick!" "No restrooms."
    • "Play Risk at your own risk."
    • "No hanging from the rim while playing basketball at your own risk." The gag is repeated later in the video when somebody else hangs from the rim while playing basketball at your own risk.
    • "Get— AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—"
    • "Son of a gun! EEE EER Indoor Trampoline Park offers one kind of fun for one family! Rob Knowl's family!"
    • "Get Egg is none of your business!"
    • "EEE EER was founded in 2065 by offering a special area for everyone! But there's more to EEE EER than just trampolines." (A woman falls off a rope ladder to comical crashing noises) "We make it easy for families to have fundraisers, and also to Get Out!"
    • "We want everyone to handle the food, supplies, and cleanup while we have fun."
    • Overdubbing the Slack Line with voice clips from Spring Man.
    • "If you'd like to learn more about our parks, visit LearnMoreAboutOurParks.com" (seacaptaindate.com) "We'll see ya soon, CS."
    • "It is required that everyone watch this sational and informafety video. You must watch the entire video before you can watch this video."
      Well, that makes sense!
    • "By taking part today, you assume the risk of death."
      • "Do not die."
    • "Jumpers must remove their clothes."
    • "Jumpers must remove their head, neck, or stomach before jumping."
    • "Never use a trampoline."
    • "You're valuable."

  • LEGO™ River™
    • "A man has fallen in love!" "YeeeY!"
    • Morshu's cameo.
    Morshu: A man has fallen into the river in LEGO City!
    Narrator: HEY! That's my line!
    Morshu: Sorry.
    • (clip from Liberty's Kids of the Boston Tea Party) "Tea has fallen into the river in Boston city."
    • "The new Rescue Collection from LEGO City has fallen into the river!"
    • "A man has fallen into the HAY!"

  • '80s Mercedes

  • TacTickle
    • "Everybody has a son. But can your son block blinding glare? Defend you from attackers? Save your life in an emergency? Carry your phone, snacks and other essential gear? See the surface of the moon? Fit in your pocket? Light up the night super bright?"
      • "Nick Bolton can do things no ordinary son can do."
      • Nick's 6,000-pound son (actually his dog) and its glitchy barking.
    • "Everybody has a—"
      Larry The Cucumber: (singing) —Water buffalo-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...eeeeoooooo!
      • "Now that's what I call—something."
    • "I'm—" "—Ron Pitts. And you're about to see some camera. This is—" "TacCamera. The body camera. The body camera! The cam- for the -ra! Orro."
    • "Capture sharp, high definition images from Into the Woods; every magic moment!"
    • "Millimemillimemillim—you need to get the JOJ!"
    • "Nick Bolton here with an exciting new addition to our gloves. Introducing: The Hands™!"
    • "Nick Nolte here with our weakest collection. We call it: The TacBat."
    • Everything Nick Bolton says about the TacGlasses. Unfortunately, "even the best sunglasses can't prevent rain."
      • Terry Crews punches a cement slab for saying the glasses don't block blinding glare for 16 hours.
      • "Invisible objects suddenly become visible objects! So you can see objects by causing your pupils to give you vision! Literally!"
      • "You can step on them. You can step on me. And, yes, I can step on you."
    • "Simply slide to adjust, slide it open and cut like dough, knead like dough, apply and—"
      O'Hare: (singing) Let it die, let it die! Let it shrirsh!
    • Nick Bolton smashes his tactical flashlight between two cinder blocks with a sledgehammer...and it remains intact! Doubles as an awesome moment.
      • He does the same thing with a regular sledgehammer...and the torch breaks...until the footage reverses, causing it to survive!
    • The "many" colours of wallets...including brown.
    • "So let's review, Men Mender can fix men, attach patches, patch attaches, attack men, patch holes and holes. There's just nothing!"
    • The Stinger has Nick saying everyone has something such as a wallet, a pair of work gloves, a toolbox AND a tactical flashlight.
      Archibald: Stop right this instant, what do you think you're doing?! You can't say everyone's got a tactical flashlight when everyone does NOT have a tactical flashlight! We're going to get nasty letters saying, "Where's MY tactical flashlight? Why don't I have a tactical flashlight?" And are you prepared to deal with that? I don't think so. Just STOP. BEING. SO. tactical!
  • Seeder Point is basically two poops in one, the first half being based on a commercial for Cedar Point and the second on an instructional video for park staff. Both halves are equally hilarious.
    • "This ride starts off innocently enough, but before long, Cedar Point guests are head over heels for the full-service corkscrew! The first coaster in the world to turn riders on! No one stays dry on this thriller that soaks riders and spectators' pants alike. Guaranteed to get you off!"
    • The way they make the Gemini roller coaster sound like a miserable experience, and encourage you to ride the Junior Gemini instead.
      Looking for a great time? Junior Gemini is what you're looking for. Looking for a disaster? The Gemini is Cedar Point's most overwhelming experience. You're taken to the top, then hurt. The Junior Gemini roller coaster may not be as big as the real thing, but it's freaking sick. The real Gemini is too scary, like it was literally built by a demon. The Gemini will really make you feel out of control, but the six-mile-per-hour Junior Gemini is the coolest roller coaster!
    • The Steam Powered Giraffe Running Gag throughout the video, where most animals are also steam powered:
      • "The band Steam Powered Giraffe sparkles on the stage of Cedar Point's Theatre Point Theaters. But that's not the end of the live musical entertainment; there's singing and dancing from Steam Powered Lion, Tiger, Ostrich, Bear, and even such musical stars as Steam Powered Shark, Eel, Sea Turtle, Penguin and Piranha to satisfy everyone's musical tastes."
      • "You can watch two different steam powered dolphins every day! Striker will delight you with their spectacular volleyball, and Brie jumps through the air like a steam powered bird!"
    • "You can emulate Seeder Point note . It's easy to torrent the park, true to its name, but if you plan to do it, my .44 magnum is inescapable. Time to be scared."
    • "Exciting rides, challenging slides, live food, delicious games, water entertainment, and challenging challenges.
    • "After working a few weeks, you'll develop basic methods of live saving, such as CPR; that is, 'Caution Personal Ride', the A-B-C's; that is, 'Authorized Bone Choir', and the A-B-C-P-R; that is, 'Always Bribe Children Please Remember.'"
    • "So many children think, but this doesn't make them people."
    • The instructor's Lack of Empathy in this part:
      [Someone trips while getting off the carousel and hurts her foot.]
      Staff: Stupid lady!
      Instructor: This is very funny.
      [Someone tries getting off a bumper car, but gets hit by another car and flips over while farting.]
      Instructor: This is serious. This is not funny. Disgusting.
    • The T-B-T method (not "Throwback Thursday"):
      Tears, Bribery, and Threats must be used: tears for yourself, bribery for your coworkers, and threats for your guests-s-s-s-s"
    • "There are different types of extinguishers for different kinds of extinguishing: water, earth, fire, and air. Everything changed when the fire extinguisher attacked."
    • "After working a few weeks, you'll develop trauma. If you've received personal trauma, repair yourself. Never rely upon any adult. Do not talk about it to any friends."
    • And of course, The Stinger:
      Every employee should constantly watch for Nazis during the day. They should not be allowed to participate. You should use the appropriate hand signals when dealing with guests who are unwelcome.
  • Products™ is a compilation of short pieces mocking nifty As Seen On TV products.
    • "If you love boiled eggs, but hate spoiled eggs, you need iPod, a new kind of way to play music!"
    • "Dirty dirt...it hurty hurts! You need Perfect Pane, the perfect treatment that protects windows for up to twelve minutes guaranteed!"
      • "Actually, no, they're not protected at all! Because it's one hundred percent sucky!"
      • "Easy? Nope."
    • "Whether you're stretching a pie, or downloading a pie, one size fits Saul! Which means you can start watching Better Call Saul!"
      • "Butt weight, there's more!"
    • "Don't try that with DALL•E!" (A bunch of failed AI-generated images of The New Drawer Lamp™ are dumped on the floor)
  • "Goods™"
    • "Remember that cool microscope you had as a kid?"
      Kid: No...
    • "Car messy? You no have place put trash? You need the Carbage Can to make your life complete!"
    • "Guaranteed to never leak all your family photos, just pay a separate fee."
    • "..yours today for the special TV price of Free! Act now and you can get a second Carbage Can, just pay a second Free!"
    • "Forever Wallet, the last yellow wallet."
    • "Still using that old Forever Wallet? The one that sucks to the max? First, Forever Wallet eliminates your money, we mean it!"
    • "So don't waste your time! Don't suffer nasty terrible ugly thin-skinned Forever Wallet when you could get flat! Or you can get dead. That's right, you could get dead or dying, and no one will believe you! And if you're still using your garbage Forever Wallet, don't delay, despair today!"
    • "Goes from cart to car, and car to car, and cart to cart, and goes from kitchen into car, and car into Carbage Can."
    • "...or trips to the bees. That's right, bees! Disease! And Ar-bees!"
    • "Who's keeping an eye on the babies? Now the answer can be Yuffie! She continuously captures babies and hides in Planes."
    • "How about those mischievous pets?" ("Dogs can be quite miss-che-vesh.") "No, Bluetooth! No, bad Bluetooth! Introducing Mike, the amazing new dog!"
    • "Every step also features no-padding. Ding ding ding, it's terrible, and it's made with extra-turdy materials! Plus, you can feel gross inside about ordering, because a portion of each purchase will support 30 dog pounds!"
    • "Simply put your dog's drugs under furniture, which makes it perfect for addicts."
    • "Introducing Boom Boom, the amazing speaker! Imagine being able to enjoy commercials." (Thumbnails of past advertisement YTPs appear, including Goods™ itself)
    • "Here are the volume levels without Beaker. Here are the levels when connected to Beaker, and now we lay Beaker on the Boom Boom! As you can hear and now see, the levels are now even!"
    • "You could pay a hundred dollars for a Bluetooth speaker, or you can get a Boom Boom for just $99!"
    • "You need the Peeler Leeler. It's tough enough for slicing One Direction. Or use it to shave!"
    • "And watch this: The Others!"
    • "You can even deliver coffee everywhere!" ("Nice car!")
    • "Because we know you could use a hand, here's a power outlet thing. It's strong and sturdy..." ("BONK!") "...without leaving any Scooby-Dooby residue behind!"
    • The Flat F*ck Hand Truck segment, which features a reference to the "Professional"/"Amateurish" running gag from "Hey Buddy, Nice Cards".
    • "Push the dust around to easily reach Homestuck fans that almost never get clean!"
    • "Introducing Backseat Boom Zoom, the amazing gadget that puts even more junk in your trunk!"
    • "Also, special thanks to the H!"
      Squidward: Isn't there anything on that isn't a commercial?!

     Web Video YTP 

     Miscellaneous and Multi-Source YTP 

Alternative Title(s): Da Things 1

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