Cargo Ship

Awwww... ?
Image◊ courtesy of Saejin Oh. Used with permission.

"Gentlemen...behold! I have made love to this machine! And now, upon retrospect, I ask why..."

— Dr. Weird [while gesturing to a lawnmower], Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Shipping where one or both of the partners is an inanimate object — becoming, in effect, a Companion Cube. A common type of Crack Pairing in fandom. To some, this kind of shipping is made of Squick; to others, it's Serious Business.

Semi-justifiable if the object in question is an Empathic Weapon.

Compare Robo Ship (when part of the pairing is a sentient machine, including spacecraft and other vessels with AI), Cargo Envy (where someone else wishes they were the object in question) and Animal Sweet on Object (for when an animal falls for an object in-universe). See also Perverse Sexual Lust (which is the real person-to-fictional character version) and I Call It "Vera". Contrast Enmity with an Object.

Truth in television for a small group of people who experience both sexual and emotional love of objects, though whether this counts as just a fetish or an actual preferred attraction still remains murky.

Not to Be Confused with Cargo Cult, IKEA Erotica and a literal kind of ship that carries cargo, goods, and materials from one port to another, which is a pun.

---

Example Subpages:

• Anime & Manga
• Live-Action TV
• Video Games
• Western Animation

Other Examples:

Advertising

• Scott×Toaster. Gotta love how Quiznos' is sticking with this campaign.
• There have been a series of Swiffer ads that involve an "ex" mop or broom being rejected by the woman and her new Swiffer product, complete with sad love songs. Later ones show "him" getting together with another household object on the rebound — a rake with a leaf in one of the tines, for instance — making a double Cargo Ship.
• Prize for weirdest cargo ship ever has to go to the Glad Odor Guard "Trashy Affair" commercial. It's Exactly What It Says on the Tin: one episode has a man take a sensual bath with a bag of garbage, complete with rose petals, champagne, and his wife walking in on him while he's in a love shrine to the trash.
• Inverted and subverted by Spike Jonze in an ad for Ikea. It focuses on a lamp being swapped for an Ikea lamp, and while the old one is left out in the rain, the new one is being used in the comfort of the house. The ad uses lighting to make you feel sympathy for the ejected lamp as though it were sentient... and then a man comes in and calls you "crazy" for feeling sorry for something that "has no feelings."

Allegory

• Liberty×Justice.◊ Frequently seen in political cartoons.

Asian Animation

• Happy Heroes: Played for Laughs in-universe. In Season 10 episode 5, a monster drops a gun in front of Careless S., whose first instinct - being an inventor and all - is to gush over it, complete with heart-shaped eyes and Cherry Blossoms in the background.

Audio Plays

• There is a small but growing contingent of Narvin/Gallifrey shippers in the fandom for the Gallifrey audios, from the Doctor Who Extended Universe.

Comic Books

• There is probably a decent chunk of fanfic dedicated to shipping Sara Pezzini (or another wielder) with the Witchblade. Then again, the Witchblade being a pseudo living/sentient object, it might not count.
• Tony Stark/his sentient Iron Man armor. Note that this was Canon, complete with the jealous armor demanding that Tony "get inside me". The armor even gained the fan nickname "Tony's abusive boyfriend".
  • While not nearly as popular as the above, there is also Tony/Cheeseburger based on a scene from The Movie.
• Marvel Comics' 1970s character Star-Lord actually had a few plots based on his relationship with his sentient, shapeshifting Ship. (She's actually an Energy Being in Cool Ship form, making it more an Interspecies Romance.)
• Runaways: There's at least one Victor×Toaster fanfic.
• Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comics) gives us Bean the Dynamite, a duck who's really fond of his bombs...
• Part of the Canon and played for creepy in the V for Vendetta comic, between the Head, Adam Susan, and the computer Fate. It's strongly implied that Susan is a heavily-closeted, self-loathing homosexual and this is his coping mechanism. Discovering that V has been manipulating Fate since the beginning sends him into a Villainous Breakdown which eventually leads to his assassination.
• Tank Girl and her tank. Not only are they stated to have had sex (just that one time, and she was drunk) but she got pregnant and bore its half-human, half-armored fighting vehicle offspring.
• Superman: "Where is she? My lady the sun. She makes me strong. She gives me her light and her life and I am forever grateful. But where is she now?"
  • Lois has also teased Clark by comparing the city of Metropolis to his mistress.
• Batman and Gotham. At one point, it's mentioned that he's already married - to the city.
  • There is many a fan art of Jason Todd being shipped with a crowbar, especially the one The Joker used to beat him to death. It helps he uses one as a weapon in Red Hood and the Outlaws.
• Cain and The House of Mystery. Sometimes it seems like he loves that old house more than he does his friends or family.
• Canonical in Hellboy spin-off B.P.R.D.: Roger the homunculus falls in love with (a statue of) the Roman goddess Cloacina after a mission in Venice, and goes to have a picnic lunch and wine "with" her. When he is destroyed and trapped in a fantasy realm in his own mind, he imagines the statue of Cloacina there with him.
• The Doom comic has the marine come across the BFG and literally weep tears of happiness because it's so powerful it moves him.
• As if the relationships in Krazy Kat weren't konfusing enough already, there are plenty of hints of Ignatz × Bricks.
• Maps of Gotham Academy fantasizes about marrying Damian's grappling gun.
• While the other Grumbel's workers in Retail joke about how the only thing Stuart loves is the Grumbel's employee handbook, it should be noted that Marla did walk in on him having a romantic Valentine's dinner with the policy and procedural manual...
• The Transformers: More than Meets the Eye:
  • When Swerve isn’t being shipped with the bar he runs, he’s being paired with the “My First Blaster”, a custom-built gun Brainstorm made for him.
  • Brainstorm×his briefcase. The Reveal of why he’s so attached to it (it’s a time machine that he wants to use to undo the death of his unrequited love) just adds to it.
  • Rodimus×the Lost Light is practically canon by the end of the comic.

Fan Works

• Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series: "Oh, Black Luster Soldier, no one must ever know of our forbidden love..."
  • "Oh giant rock, sometimes I think you're the only one who understands me".
  • Mako and the Ocean. He later breaks up with the sea for the younger aquarium, which 'has its benefits'. He then reunites with the Ocean with Britney Spears music playing in the background.
  • "What's that, Dark Magician Girl? You wanna make out?"
  • Kaiba seems to have a raging hard-on for the entire children's card game.
    • He reserves his strongest feelings for his Blue-Eyed White Dragons, however.
    • And the God Cards; "summonitsummonitsummonitsummonitsummonitsummonit..."
  • In Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds, Yusei and his D-Wheel which he refers to as his girlfriend.
• Princess Tutu Abridged: "Mytho's being paired with the river!"
• Most Vocaloid pairings that aren't with each other involves their Trademark Favorite Food - Kaito×Ice Cream, Len×Banana, Miku×Leek, and Gakupo×Eggplant are the most common. And there are some examples of Rin×Steam Roller. Kaito also gets some Kaito×Scarf among his fans.
• Naruto: The Abridged Series: Kakashi and a carton of Milk. Appears to be canon.
• Harry Potter:
  • There's quite an infamous fanfic with Ron shagging a teapot. And another with a teaspoon.
  • The "Squidwarts" shipping (Giant Squid/Hogwarts Castle) is something of a meme on Fandom Wank.
  • Harry×Gringotts×Hogwarts. Here, for the curious.
  • Draco×goblet, which comes from a line in the first book after the Slytherins supposedly won the House Cup, "A storm of cheering and stamping broke out from the Slytherin table. Harry could see Draco Malfoy banging his goblet on the table. It was a sickening sight." Obvious intentional misinterpretation of "banging" produced the pairing.
  • Also the Weasleys' Ford Anglia×Crowley's old Bentley from Good Omens. And the Ford Anglia×The Whomping Willow. That car gets around...
  • Ford Anglia×Sirius's flying motorbike.
  • The Wizard Rock band The Whomping Willows have a few songs about the one-sided love between the Willow and Hermione. Which came from one of them mis-reading a Willow/Hermione fic.
  • Harry Potter×Snitch.
  • Lucius Malfoy×The Cane. Yeah, Snakey is the dominant one. And their love child is Sephiroth.
    • Depicted here (Completely Safe for Work).
  • And Tumblr gave us Drapple, which is Draco×Apple. (Now joked about in a lot of Harry Potter fan fictions, even off-Tumblr.)
    • Which was then followed with Chickron (Ron×Chicken) and Ludding (Luna×Pudding).
  • Dobby×Sorting Hat. "Dobby had always loved clothes, but never like this..."
  • Remus/tree became something of a meme on Potterfic Weekly, and Hermione/book got a mention.
  • The Russian fandom has the memetic Crack Pairing of Lucius/vase, stemming from a badfic that mentioned Lucius bang a vase after a quarrel with Narcissa.
• Invader Zim: One fanfic depicted GIR's total and complete love for... a toaster.
  • And there's one where, while Zim and Dib are busy fighting, Zim's computer and Tak's ship (which now belongs to Dib, remember) start flirting with each other. By the time Zim and Dib reenter the room, the computer and the ship are having what could best be described as robot sex.
• In early episodes of Touhou Project fan video Komeiji Koishi No Dokidoki Daibouken, Koishi seems to share a fairly close bond with her 'Hat-san'. She also takes advice from it.
  • In episode 6, it turns out that there are more than one 'Hat-san'... To be precise, a wall full of Hat-sans. Looks like she keeps them as a replacement, though.
    • 'Hat-san' is probably the identity rather than the physical object itself; as long as it is wearable on her head, whether the said object is the same hat she usually wears, or even an actual hat, doesn't seem to matter. She manages to replace the hat with her shoe, call it 'Hat-san' and have a conversation with it in usual manner after losing the original Hat-san in episode 5.
• The Legacy of Kain fandom is peppered with Kain and Raziel slash after Raziel becomes the Soul Reaver.
• The scientist Feldspar and Master Chief's helmet in Company0051. Chief himself is not amused.
• Hetalia: Axis Powers: One fanfic gives us Iceland×Sweden's Fridge.
• Young Justice Abridged has Robin×The Justice League Computer.
• The Hunter×his BFS Blackfire in With Strings Attached. The four are disgusted when he constantly fondles the hilt and croons to the blade, which they quite rightly dub “masturbation.” Later, when he has made a Heel–Face Turn and is trying to behave better but still unthinkingly fondles the hilt, John tells him to quit wanking off in public.
  • Blackfire is actually a female demon bound in the shape of a sword; the Hunter is horrified to discover this.
• In THE PETE PETERSON EXPERIENCE, there is Murray having sex with his van in the fanfiction, "Murry the Robot".
• The Sensuality of Haruhi Suzumiya, a Crack Fic written by the same author as You Got HaruhiRolled!, ships Haruhi with her pyramidal paperweight that says "Brigade Chief" on it. Things quickly take a turn for the extremely disturbing.
• One Golden Sun fanfic is Isaac×the roof of his house.
• One odd Mass Effect fanfic consists of Hanar×Medieval Cannon
• React Watch Believe Yikes has Yang, who has a fetish for machines, fall for Sheila the tank. A non-canon bonus chapter has the two meet and ends with some heavily-implied sexual activities.
  • In RWBY canon Ruby is pretty enthusiastic about weapons and high-tech engineering. More than a few fics feature pairing her with Crescent Rose (her scythe/sniper rifle) or Penny.
• Loki/rock fanart exists. This pairing is also known as Rocki and is thankfully mostly a joke owning its existence to the Loki fangirls finding a book on Norse Mythology and realizing that the guy was Extreme Omnisexual in the myths.
  • Not to mention Loki/Bacon - there is even official Ship Tease for it◊.
• There is at least one Professor Layton fanfic which ships Luke with the Professor's nice hat.
• It's a running gag in the comments that the real OTP of Skyhold Academy Yearbook is Solas×Cake.
• Ultimate Chat Fic Of Mutual Memeing! goes even further beyond: it creates two Companion Cube original characters, namely Bobstevenson "The Rock" Johnson and Kevin The Knife-Wielding Roomba, and makes them a couple.
• The The Seven Deadly Sins fic Beyond Your Shape ships an oyster with a rock. (None of which has anything to do with canon.)
• While no actual shipping occurs in this Undertale fancomic, there is this:
  Mettaton: [while Alphys is building his EX body] Okay, but can you fuck it?
  Alphys: What kind of idiot would make a robot you can't fuck?
• In StarKitsProphcy, Jayfeather tells his daughter Starpaw about how he once was in love with a stick. He chose Starpaw's mother Dawnsparkle because he couldn't have kits with a stick.
• Some Touken Ranbu fancomics ship the Touken Danshi with the swords they're connected to. If they've got feelings for other Touken Danshi but don't want to tell them outright, they'll instead take their frustrations out on their sword.
• One KanColle comic portrayed an Admiral/Shipgirl harem as an admiral surrounded by the actual ships they were based on. The way the second image is positioned made it look like the cargo was shipping itself with him. He was crushed under the real Shimakaze's hull.
• Empath: The Luckiest Smurf has "Grouchy And The Love Doll"... until the doll comes to life and becomes a real Smurf.
• Eleutherophobia: When Tom finally gets control of the Blade Ship, he calls it beautiful and spends quite some time admiring its specs. Rachel snarks that he probably wants take it out for dinner.

Films — Animation

• Pixar loves this trope:
  • One of the first Pixar shorts was "Knick Knack", in which a plastic snowman trapped in a snowglobe tries hopelessly to escape the snow globe so he can reach a hot beach girl toy.
  • The Toy Story franchise has quite a few literal Toy Ships in both canon and fanon. Fanon also likes to play Woody's relationship with his human owner, Andy, for Ho Yay.
  • The characters being vehicles in the Pixar movie Cars, every possible ship is Cargo Ship by default.
  • Robot×robot romance is almost the entire point of WALL•E. (And Green Aesop.)
  • Pixar's short, The Blue Umbrella ships two sentient umbrellas together.
  • The Pixar short Lava is a love story about two volcanoes looking for "someone to lava".
• "Baby" Brent×Ceremonial Scissors in Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. He keeps them tucked in the back of his pants, plays them like an air guitar, clutches them when worried, and they have to be forcibly ripped from his arms for someone else to use them. Clearly it's love.
• Ray, in The Princess and the Frog, is a firefly who has fallen in love with "Evangeline," a literal star that he believes is another firefly. When he dies, a new star appears next to Evangeline in the sky.
• Make Mine Music includes a short about Johnny Fedora and Alice Bluebonnet, two hats who fall in love when they're together in a department store window. They're separated when different people buy them, but go on a quest to reunite.
• The "saber-toothed squirrel" Scrat and his acorn in the Ice Age movies. Only subtly implied in the first two movies, but anviliciously lampshaded throughout the third, to the point where after Scrat falls in love with another squirrel, there is an entire Sad-Times Montage from the acorn's perspective. Don't feel too bad for it, though — Scrat leaves the girl squirrel for the acorn in the end.
  • It's worth noting that the Scrat/Acorn 'ship was a seriously bad case of No Accounting for Taste. The Acorn is possibly the most abusive Jerkass Love Interest in animated film history (yes, even though it's inanimate), always dangling just out of Scrat's reach and heaping abuse on him. The tragedy here is that by leaving Scratte he has doomed himself to a lifetime of having his chain yanked by the Acorn.
  • From three months before the third movie, Buck/A pineapple, and allegedly, an ugly one at that. He woke up one morning married to her, and he loved her. It is unknown what happened to that ugly pineapple since.
• Tank and his trophies from Surf's Up. He's named them all and during one scene his mother calls out, "Are you polishing your trophies again?" To the camera he mutters, "I'll polish later."
• Gnomeo & Juliet is just what it sounds like: two garden gnomes who are Star-Crossed Lovers. Another gnome, Gnomeo's pal Benny, later gets romantically involved with a doll and sets their plastic flamingo friend back up with his ex-flame, another plastic flamingo.
• Many shipped Baymax with soccer balls as soon as the first trailer for Big Hero 6 was released.
• At the beginning of Eight Crazy Nights, a drunk Davey Stone is stopped from getting in his car when two officers threaten him with DUI. Davey then pretends to have immodest sex with his car. While one cop becomes understandably exasperated upon seeing it, the other has Tender Tears.

Films — Live Action

• Pirates of the Caribbean:
  • There are fics involving the boats. Black Pearl×Flying Dutchman, for example.
  • Jack and the Black Pearl. He shows more devotion to that ship than any human character. Pursuing it for ten years, willing to do anything to obtain it, lovingly caressing it when he reunites with it, sadly stroking it goodbye when he has to abandon it to the Kraken, being stuck in the Locker with it and refusing to leave it there, obsessively asserting his captaincy of it at every opportunity he gets...
  • Jack's relationship with his hat could also be considered this.
  • He also has a jar of dirt...
  • A few fans also see see it between Davy Jones and that bucket from the third film.
  • Jack Sparrow×Rum
• Austin Powers: "Mini Me! Stop humping the laser! Alright, why don't you and the frikking laser get a frikking room?"
• Not exactly a pairing per se, but there's a fan-made Image Macro floating around in which a pair of AT-ATs from Star Wars were... well, let's not go there...
  • HanxMillennium Falcon.
  • General Grievous and lightsabers, owing to him taking them from the Jedi he defeats.
• American Pie: "This one time, at band camp..."
  • The pie... is not an example. It's simply a means to an end.
• This actually happens in My Big Fat Independent Movie with the Sickeningly Sweet French girl and a foul-mouthed answering machine. The sex is far more than implied.
• Leon and his plant.
• Wet Hot American Summer: "Well, I'm gonna go hump the fridge."
• The entire 1979 film Demon Seed is about the computer AI named Prometheus that forces a woman to have sex with it/him, so it can breed a human/machine hybrid to take over the world and stop mankind from polluting the environment.
• Chuck and Wilson the volleyball in Cast Away.
• The car advert in Southland Tales you know the one.
• The Bear Jew×his bat from Inglourious Basterds if some fanfictions are to be believed.
• Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy: "I love lamp..."
  • Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
• At the end of The Breakfast Club, there's Bender×Claire, Andrew×Allison, and Brian×essay.
• The drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket tells each of the new recruits to give their rifle a girl's name "because this is the only pussy you will ever get!" Private Pyle, after he goes insane, seems more than a little doting over his rifle (Charlene, if you were wondering).
• Kumar from Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle can easily be paired up with the giant bag of pot he found. It's even shipped again in the sequel.
  • But it is way easier to ship them with the White Castle hamburgers from their first movie.
• The second chapter of the Hong Kong movie Red Cliff depicts the historical straw boat ruse, where a fake invasion of battleships covered in straw, with straw effigies representing soldiers to boot, serves to collect incoming arrows. Tactician Zhuge Liang says nothing of these details, or much of anything for that matter, to his assistant as they sail into enemy lines on one of the straw boats - which leads the assistant to start talking to one of the effigies.
• In Frank Miller's gonzo adaptation of Will Eisner's The Spirit, the One True Pairing of the eponymous hero is his own hometown Central City.
  The Spirit: My city, I cannot deny her. My city screams. She is my mother. She is my lover, and I am her Spirit.
• The Maiden Heist is about three museum security guards so obsessed with their respective favorite art pieces, they attempt the titular heist to save them from being relocated to a Copenhagen museum.
• In The Red Green Show Movie, Duct Tape Forever, Ranger Gord has spent years living alone in his fire watchtower in the woods and has gone more than a little crazy from loneliness. He owns a tree trunk that looks suspiciously like the torso of a naked woman, and when he and Red joke lightheartedly about all the paperwork down at the county records office Gord suddenly breaks into sobs, lamenting "When I think of all the trees that gave their lives for that paperwork! I dated some of those trees, you know!"
• Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland (2010) shows the Cheshire Cat as having some sort of unexplained attraction to the Mad Hatter's hat.
• In The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Captain Nemo refers to the Nautilus as his "lady." It's meant metaphorically — the ship is his only true love — but could be taken in this context as well.
• Sleeper - Woody Allen's character gets caught by the authorities after he hides in the Orgasmatron, and emerges a shredded, grinning wreck. When he's assimilated and taken to his new home he sees the machine and starts treating it very...affectionately.
• In The Smurfs, Grouchy falls in love with a green M&M plushie in a toy store and even has a romantic get-together with one in the end credits.
• French horror film Titane has the Villain Protagonist Alexia, who... ahem, loves cars. In fact, she loves them enough to somehow have a Half-Human Hybrid baby with one.
• A couple of examples in the new Star Trek universe:
  • Star Trek: First Contact: Jokingly implied by Troi when she finds Picard and Data reverently placing their hands upon the Phoenix's fuselage:
    Would you three like to be alone?
  • Star Trek (2009): Montgomery Scott comes close:
    Scotty: So the Enterprise has had her maiden voyage, has she? I'd like to get my hands on her "ample nacelles", if you'll pardon the engineering parlance...
  • Star Trek Into Darkness: Kirk and the Enterprise, of course.
• Jules makes out with a wall-mounted wolf head while playing "Truth or Dare" in The Cabin in the Woods.
• Stanley from UHF is deeply attached to his mop. Romantic-reunion music plays when he finds it again.
  • One of George Newman's Town Talk topics that he deemed worthy of discussion: Sex with furniture.
• Scary Movie 3: In-universe. The Architect notes that since he's confined to a room in the middle of nowhere he hasn't been with a women in ages. He's had to make do with his chair, which he calls "Linda".
• Doctor Strange (2016) fans have started to ship Dr. Strange and the Cloak of Levitation.
• The plot of The Formula of Love kicks off when the main character falls in love with a statue.
• Whereas the anime film Wicked City has protagonist Taki have sex with at least a couple demon women, its live action remake has the villain Shudo have sex with a monster lady who was in the form of a pinball machine at the time.
  Brandon Tenold: Does this mean he has to tilt her to find the G-Spot? How exactly does this work?

Jokes

• A bandleader for a traveling music troupe decides to hold auditions one day, and encounters a man who claims that he's found a perfect new member for his troupe. To the bandleader's surprise, the man pulls an octopus from his bag, and explains that the octopus is a musical genius who can flawlessly play any instrument. Hoping to test the octopus, the bandleader hands it a guitar and challenges it to play a song. Sure enough, the octopus picks up the guitar in its tentacles and begins strumming a pleasant tune. Still not convinced, the bandleader hands the octopus a saxophone and challenges it to play another song. Once again, the octopus shows off its incredible musical talent: it picks the saxophone up in its tentacles, raises it to its mouth, and begins playing freestyle smooth jazz. The bandleader is now sufficiently impressed, but as a final test, he decides to hand the octopus a bagpipe to see what it'll play. This time, the octopus picks up the bagpipe and begins frantically inserting its tentacles into every one of its holes, lovingly exploring its every crevice—but no sound comes out. After several minutes of silence, the puzzled bandleader finally asks, "Well, aren't you going to play it?" The octopus looks up and replies, "Play it? I was trying to fuck it!"

Literature

• Harry Potter:
  • By far, "Drapple"—Draco and an apple—is the cargo ship of the fandom.
  • It also has Ron and chicken and Luna and pudding.
  • While not technically cargo ship, there is always the Sorting Hat×Hermione...
• An A Series of Unfortunate Events fic paired baby Sunny with a heart-shaped smiley balloon.
  • Also, in The End, when Olaf embraces his weapons - a harpoon gun and a container of poisonous mushrooms - as if they're the only things he loves.
  • Also, as suggested in the The Beatrice Letters, Vice Principal Nero and his violin.
• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
  • Life, the Universe and Everything: Marvin the Paranoid Android and Zem, a sentient mattress. Something definitely went down in that swamp...
  • The Restaurant at the End of the Universe: Another canon example is Marvin×Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Happy Vertical People Transporter (an elevator). The reason said elevator took Zaphod up instead of its desired direction? "I'm only doing this because I like your robot."
  • There's also the radio show-based song "Marvin I Love You".
  • Hitchhikers and their towels.
• The Warrior Cats fandom loves Jayfeather×stick (Woodenshipping). Yes, one of the main characters and a stick. But it's a stick that he's virtually obsessed with... This got so bad that even the authors admitted that the shippers had a point there... so they "killed off" the stick by having Jayfeather break it.
• The Twilight Saga:
  • Edward Cullen×Piano
  • Bella×Cliff.
  • Team Tyler's Van, who say that Bella and the van that Edward stopped from running her over in the first book were destined to be together.
  • Bella×Cactus in the musical.
• Percy Jackson:
  • Percy's sword (Riptide) and Annabeth's hat are a popular pairing. To the extent that on fanfiction they're listed as actual characters.
  • Brason: Jason Grace×Brick!
• The Lord of the Rings:
  • A canon-ish example is Gollum and the Ring. In all fairness to Gollum, that ring is pretty seductive and, to say the least, really gets around.
  • Orthanc×Barad-dûr and Minas Tirith×Minas Morgul? Hey, Love Makes You Evil.
  • Or Fëanor and his Silmarils? He loves them more than essentially anything else^note except his parents, but they both wind up dead. So does everyone else apparently.
• For Good Omens, there is Crowley's Bentley/Crowley, Bentley/Aziraphale's bookshop and Aziraphale/one of Crowley's houseplants all written in the book's Kink Meme. There is also some fanart of the Bentley shamelessly cheating with Aziraphale, much to Crowley's dismay.
• The car in the Stephen King novel Christine develops an unhealthy obsession with her owner. And he develops it right back. Keep in mind that Christine is the 1958 Plymouth Fury and Leigh is the actual human girl:
  This is the story of a lover's triangle, I suppose you'd say—Arnie Cunningham, Leigh Cabot, and, of course, Christine. But I want you to understand that Christine was there first. She was Arnie's first love...I think she was his only true love.
• Discworld: Rincewind×potatoes is pretty much canon.
  • Drumknott/Filing Cabinet exists.
• 100% canon in Thomas Pynchon's Vineland: one minor character screws his car.
• One of the Bolo books has Commander Paul Merril fall in love with Nike, a smarter-than-usual prototype Bolo (a gigantic, self-aware supertank). Nike also falls for him and the develop a sweet little relationship as they patrol their forgotten backwater outpost. At least until they both die defending the planet from mercenaries.
  • A later story, Old Soldiers, gets weird with this. Captain Maneka Trevor develops a very close partnership with her Bolo Lazarus, to the point where her husband eventually describes it as a three person relationship, but since by that point Maneka is an uploaded personality occupying Lazarus' backup processor (and has been since before they were married), is the cargo ship side of the triangle Maneka×Lazarus or Hawthorne×Maneka?
    • Cargo OT3. Clearly.
• The Reapers has an in-universe example, when Angel speculates on Willie Brew and Arno's relationships with the cars they repair, saying that he would be unsurprised to enter their auto-shop and find one or both of them engaged in "sexual acts of an auto-motive nature".
• Foundation's Edge and Foundation and Earth by Isaac Asimov, feature the protagonist Golan Trevize forming an oddly emotional bond with the computer of his ship, the Far Star. Nothing comes of it, though.
• 20 Years After reveals that as a teenager, Athos had a crush on a Greek statue.
• Dragaera series:
  • Vlad×Teldra could qualify in the novels after Issola.
  • In Brokedown Palace, Miklos rubs the leg of the statue of Verra to check its texture, then realizes this might be considered perverted, so he does it again just to be contrary.
• Mariel of Redwall: Gabool's behaviour towards the stolen bell is decidedly creepy. "Speak to me, pretty, we must get to know each other ..." He was actually a lot closer to the I Have You Now, My Pretty routine with the bell than he or any of the other rats ever got with Mariel. (Probably because Mariel was about twelve and the target audience are even younger.)
• Portnoy's Complaint gives us Alex/chicken liver and Alex/cored apple. This is actually canon.
• The Stormlight Archive Has the shipping of Shallan and Stick.
• Keeper of the Lost Cities Book 7, Flashback, presents Sophie/pockets, or "Sophockets", due to her ranting about them and later being gifted clothes with many pockets. There is also Fitz/chandelier: he gets stuck in one as the result of a telekinesis accident, much to Biana's amusement.
• There's always Coatlock - Sherlock Holmes / his coat.
• Ken Macleod's Newtons Wake features a man who spends nearly all his time solo on a starship who has a strong emotional relationship with it A.I., consummated with the aid of a dedicated device.
• Expeditionary Force: Those fans who ship Joe and Skippy despite the fact the latter is an omniscient AI.
• Space Academy: Vance Turbo is stalked by the AI of his starship, Trish, who even goes so far to get herself a Sex Bot body in order to seduce him.
• Ghost Roads has a canon example — Gary turned himself into a (ghost) car so he could be together with Rose after death.

Music

• In the video for Marianas Trench's "Beside You", someone had the bright idea for Josh Ramsay to play the piano standing up. In the directors cut he comments on the fact that in some of the shots it looks like he is "forcing himself on the piano"
• The song "Mi Amigo en el Baño" ("My Friend in the Bathroom"), currently a hit in the Latinoamerican market, is about a woman gloating to her ex-lover that she doesn't need him anymore because, ah, she's got a "friend in the bathroom".
• "Coin-Operated Boy" by The Dresden Dolls. Then again, the song (or at least the bridge) is about how unfulfilling it is to try to replace a human being with a machine.
• Queen's "I'm in Love with My Car". Yes, with, not in.
• DragonForce's Vadim Pruzhanov/Keytar.
• Jonathan Coulton ships Pluto×Charon.
  • And kraken×sailboat.
• There's a string of these in the They Might Be Giants song, "Withered Hope." The Sad Sack loves Withered Hope, who has a soul mate that "thinks about" a picture of a crook in a book, who loves a brand new motorbike that is obsessed with Sad Sack.
• Josh Ritter's song "Another New World" describes a man and his ship, the Annabel Lee, on an ill-fated journey to the North Pole. The ship is personified as a lover throughout the song.
• In the music video for "Lovertits" by Peaches, Feist and another girl have sex with their bikes.
• Basshunter and his GPS.
• ''I can't believe you kiss your car goodnight / Now come on baby tell me, you must be joking, right?''
• The Police have the song "Be My Girl/Sally" on their debut album, the second half of which is Andy Summers' loving ode to a blow-up doll.
  She came all wrapped in cardboard, all pink and shrivelled down
  A breath of air was all she needed to make her lose that frown
  I took her to the bedroom and pumped her with some life
  And later in a moment that girl became my wife
• Prince's song "Guitar" features the immortal line 'I love you baby, but not as much as I love my guitar'
• Lyle Lovett's song "Don't Touch My Hat" - 'You can have my girl, but don't touch my hat'. "That's Right (You're Not From Texas)" (but Texas loves you anyway) may count too. And "I Go For Penguins" - 'Penguins are so sensitive to my needs'.
• Side three of Frank Zappa's Joe's Garage, has cult leader L. Ron Hoover tell Joe that he (Joe) is an "latent appliance fethishist" and needs to go into The Closest to find an appliance to love him. Eventually, Joe hooks up with a piggy bank/vacuum cleaner hybrid named Sy Borg.
  • Frank Zappa also had Billy the Mountain; his girlfriend Ethel "was a tree growing off of his shoulder".
• Yelle's "Best Friend" in the song "Mon Meilleur Ami" It's about her vibrator.
• In the Richard Hawley's music video for "So serious" the hero goes to the carnival with his female mannequin and sleeps with it. One particularly disturbing scene had her in a skimpy negligee and him in his underwear.
• Eddie Van Halen's girlfriend supposedly got angry with him once, and told him "You know what, sometimes I think you love your guitar more than you love me". His reply? "Yeah, in a way I do. But I can't fuck my guitar".
• The song "My Mother's Brisket" by Rick Moranis is a love song about his mother's brisket.
• "Men Who Love Women Who Love Men" by Steve Goodman mentions "those who make love to machines, that don't talk back and are easy to clean."
• "The Astronomer" by Vermillion Lies. A song about being sexually attracted to planets, complete with lines like "I'd spread my legs for Venus."
• Am Feuer by Feuerschwanz at first seems like a lovesong to a girl, but then you find out that it's about beer
• PJ Harvey wrote "M-Bike" about how her then-boyfriend seemed to show much more interest in his motorbike than in her.
• Ray Stevens: In-universe fictional example, as the song "Erik The Awful" has the title character become a movie star in his later years. In one film, the character he played got married to the Empire State Building.
• The entirety of the Ninja Sex Party song "Objects of Desire" is about how Danny Sexbang somehow had sex with every single one of his girlfriend's objects.
• Country singer-songwriter Mean Mary has "Trumbull County Antique Tractor Show" in which the singer falls in love with an antique tractor.
• "You And Me And The Devil Makes Three" by Ye Banished Privateers. It's about a seaman/pirate and a cannon. Sadly, their love ends up being his doom, as when the ship starts sinking, his belt gets stuck on said cannon and he drowns. This is described as them being Together in Death.
• Lemon Demon's song Two Trucks is about two trucks...well, you can guess what they're doing.
• Sabaton singer Joakim Brodén likes tanks, a lot. According to the fandom, he really likes tanks. This became an Ascended Meme in the Sabaton History episode for "The Last Battle": Joakim jokes that Besotten Jenny, the tank mentioned in the song's first verse is "my longtime lover".
  Indy: Does your lady friend watch this?
  Joakim: I hope not. (cut to TV color bar screen with an M4 Sherman in a heart pasted over it)

Print Media

• A MAD article commented that Emeril got so excited these days "You think he's about to hump that roast"... and the art shows it, though this being MAD, nothing explicit. Complete with "BAM! BAM! BAM!" dialogue.

Radio

• Hello Cheeky
  • Barry explains his deep attraction to string.
    Barry: I once had a dirty weekend in Hampstead with a ball of twine...it wanted to marry me, but I refused to be tied down!
  • John sneers in contempt at this, before explaining that a bar of soap is...different.
• In one episode of The Phil Harris-Alice Faye Show, we see that Phil loves his English roadster:
  Alice: Do you realize how lucky you are having a beautiful home, two wonderful children...
  Phil: And you, you beautiful dove you. You lovely thing. I'd never thought I'd live to see the day when anything so gorgeous as you would belong to me.
  Alice: Well, thank you Phil...
  Phil: Alice, please, I'm talking to the car.

Tabletop Games

• In F.A.T.A.L., can happen accidentally as a consequence of the rules for magic. When a magical item is used to cast a spell, the item is considered the "caster" for game-mechanical purposes. Consider what happens when you use your Wand of Fireballs to attack the Dread Gazebo, and it rolls a miscast spell result such as #0999: "Caster and target begin copulating instantly for 2d10 rounds. Target enjoys it thoroughly."
• In Exalted, in a April Fools Day supplement called "The Scroll of Swallowed Darkness" that contains a story about a Solar who created an artifact so that he would be able to make love to a mountain. Not the god of the mountain, which would be perfectly normal for the setting, but the actual mountain. It erupted; he died. The supplement also provides information on the artifact involved so your PCs can use it.
• Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder has Smarty Pants the plush doll as one of the potential characters. There apparently used to be a Tom the Boulder and Bloomberg the Tree card as well, but they were put away for a later expansion.

Theater

• RENT
  • Smarf, or Mark×Scarf. Primarily used in humor. There's also probably a handful of Roger×Guitar out there...
  • There is a fanfic in existence in the Rent fandom with the pairing Mark's Camera/Roger's Guitar.
• On the subject of Rent, Puccini's La Bohème has "Vecchia Zimarra, Senti," sung by Colline, saying a heartbreaking goodbye... to his coat. Also has the dubious distinction of being one of the only bass arias Puccini wrote that anyone cares about.
• Metropolitan Opera Darker and Edgier production of Puccini's Tosca has the villainous Scarpia illustrate exactly what he's going to do with Tosca, using a statue of the Virgin Mary. In church. In front of a huge crowd gathered for an important religious celebration.
• In The Mystery at Twicknam Vicarage it seems contention over the romantic affections of a sofa and a wing chair are among the possible motives for the murder of the victim, who when first discovered face down on the floor, is first is presumed to be adding the area rug to his conquests.
• Arguably the entire plot of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Starlight Express, in which all the characters are anthropomorphic trains.
• In the Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street fandom, there's Sweeney×Razors. I don't know how that would work, either. One parody (The Vengeful Vengeance of Schmenjamin Schmarker, on fanfiction.net), has Sweeney utter the line, "If I weren't afraid of castrating myself, my friends, I would have sex with you."
  • This is not helped in the slightest by the fact that Sondheim, while teaching an actor how to sing My Friends, gives him the following helpful instruction:
    Sondheim: Sing to the razor. Make love to the razor...
  • One fan comic has Sweeney (Johnny Depp) getting a little too intimate with his razors in the "My Friends" scene, then cutting away to the razor dying nine months later while giving birth to another one of Depp's famous roles... Edward Scissorhands.
• The one act play Soap Opera is the pure, unadulterated embodiment of this trope, where the main character is in love with a washing machine, Hilarity Ensues.
• Little Shop of Horrors brings us Seymour×Audrey II. Might not count since Twoie's sentinet, but still... it's a plant.
  • Not to mention Audrey II×Audrey. "Hey little lady, hello...you're lookin' cute as can be..."
• In many adaptations of Othello, Iago rewards Emilia for stealing Desdemona's handkerchief (or belt, or scarf, depending on the update) with sex, usually incorporating the stolen handkerchief into said reward-sex.
• Pee-Wee Herman and Chairy have a... special relationship. The less said about it, the better.
• Two Gentlemen of Verona:
  Speed: ...you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
  Valentine: Belike, boy, then, you are in love; for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
  Speed: True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
• Elphaba/hat from Wicked. Inspired by the line in "Dancing Through Life" where Glinda pretty much serves as The Matchmaker for them.
  Glinda: I thought you might want to wear this hat to the party tonight!
  It's really—uh—sharp, don't you think?
  You know black is this year's pink!
  You deserve each other, this hat and you!
  You're both so—smart!
  You deserve each other,
  So here!
  Out of the goodness of my heart!
• A Very Potter Musical trilogy includes a canonical relationship between the Sorting Hat and the Scarf of Sexual Preference. They're both animate objects.
• A subplot in The Addams Family musical is Uncle Fester being in love with the moon.

Visual Novel

• The basic premise of Nameless is that the protagonist, Eri dates and falls in love with all five of her dolls, but this takes place after they become human. What does count, however, is the school nurse, who is hopelessly in love with Beatrice, his plastic skeleton, who never has been and never will be a human.
• Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors: In the laboratory puzzle there is a mannequin that can be examined; if examined enough times, Junpei will name it "Science Boy". Examining it again after it catches fire results in Junpei screaming "Science Boy! Noooooooooo! Oh, the humanity!", though only if he named it.
• Danganronpa:
  • Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc: Discussed when Hifumi falls in love with Alter Ego, an AI created by and based off of Chihiro. Note that while it may count as Robosexual, Alter Ego is physically a laptop.
    Yasuhiro: I happened to do a psychic reading for a certain famous CEO once... And that guy was seriously head over heels for a mannequin. He had a wedding and everything! And your eyes just now... I saw the same look in HIS eyes!
    Hifumi: Shut up! She’s not a mannequin! She’s an ANGEL! And don't bother telling me angels exist! What we have can't be defined by your petty "words"!
    [...]
    Hifumi: I found myself, y'know...liking her. Her face, her personality, her voice. Even her keyboard...
  • Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair:
    • Hajime Hinata×Orange Juice is a common example of this, due to an in-game illustration of Hinata drinking orange juice at a party. In the game's fanbase, it is almost universally considered to be his favorite drink.
    • Nagito Komaeda×Hope is also notable.
  • Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony has Korekiyo×Seesaw, given that the whole reason he killed both Angie and Tenko was that he really wanted to use a seesaw trap he made.

Webcomics

• Sexy Losers featured a Prince Charming×Cinderella's shoe scene.
• College Roomies from Hell!!!
  • Fans occasionally pair Pepe (Roger's stuffed coyote) with Fluffy (Roger's pet rock).
  • CRFH also has Roger×Big Red Button, which has both canon and Word of God behind it.
• What about Hector?
• The Wotch: Cassie×Plant. It's rather one sided, as Cassie dumped a Love Potion into the pot, making it an in-universe case.
• This Cyanide and Happiness comic.
• A Miracle of Science: Mars likes you, and Brazil thinks you're cute.
• This strip of The Order of the Stick gives us Elan×Banjo Puppet, Haley×Sack of Gold and Roy and his sword.
• Kevin & Kell has Abby, who literally marries her job. There's also an indication of intimacy with cars (she is an automechanic) and some of the shop equipment.
• Knowing Achewood's fanbase, there are probably some truly demented pairings. Ray×Ray's AIBO. Cartilege Head×The Rollerskate of Doom. Vlad×Soap. Click Robot×Ultra Peanut even.
• Larxene and Skull-Fucky the skull in Ansem Retort.
  • Darth Maul even noted that Skull-Fucky would get pissed if he saw Larxene grinding with a toaster.
• Homestuck: Shipping is very important in Homestuck, even with inanimate objects
  • Wayward Vagabond×TaB is practically canon. Just see for yourself.
  • Warhammer of Zillyhoo / Wrinklefucker is a surprisingly common ship among certain fans.
  • Pairing random people (usually Bro or Dave) with Lil' Cal is also relatively common.
    • At least one Bro/Lil Cal fic exists, see the link in Troll Fic.
    • Bro/Lil Cal got further credence when it's revealed that Cal is possessed by Caliborn, a cherub who may have had a hate-crush on Dirk, Bro's alt-universe counterpart, adding a disturbing subtext to the pairing, with an immortal monster slowly prying at Bro's consciousness.
• This A Softer World strip.
• Blank It: Lemmo and his hat.
• Girl Genius: Jagermonsters and their hats.
  • Also a few mad scientists are discussed in this way in-comic.
• My Impossible Soulmate:
  • Because of this page, many have shipped Chiaki with bread.
  • People have shipped Keegan with bathrooms due to his extreme enthusiasm over them.
• Oglaf features this in a few different contexts, including this.
  • Another comic has a man cornered in his bed and forced into sex by a talking avocado screaming about the benefits it would have on his cholesterol, complexion, and hair. Oglaf is weird.
• Hanna Is Not a Boy's Name with {...}/Paper Crane and Conrad/blood.
  • The author happily ships Conrad / Misery (and sinks Hanna / Common Sense). Also, the sexy, mysterious, and educated Curly Bracket ({) just reeks of ship potential.
• Schlock's relationship with his PlasGun
• In Problem Sleuth, anyone with the fan. Wifehearst might also count, as she was originally a playing piece in a game of Life.
• The Thrilling Adventures of Lovelace and Babbage: Ada Lovelace showed a little too much affection towards the Difference Engine at the end of "The Organist".
• Academia. Pasha's breakup with his reading glasses.
• The 300th strip of Brawl in the Family features Ganondorf singing about his love for... the Triforce.
• Rain, played for laughs: When Emily says she is pansexual, Rain and Kylie think of frying implements. Their faces show Emily she’d better explain the concept. See also the Coming-Out Story page image.

Web Original

• lonelygirl15: P. Monkey×Bree, P. Monkey×Sarah, P. Monkey×Mallory, P. Monkey×Jonas, etc. Although none of those are serious.
• LOLCats': Lolrus×bucket. They even have their own website.
• Turtle×Rock in this cute animation.
• Twilight the Musical has spawned a following of Bella×Cactus shipping.
  • Not to mention Edward×Edward doll.
    • So is that a Love Triangle with Evil Edward? And where does Cardboard Edward factor in?
• TVTropes×Wikipedia
  • Also referenced in a rather meta manner in TV Tropes: The Webcomic. A popular Fan-Preferred Couple is said to involve Author Avatar Trope-tan with Ensemble Dark Horse Wikipe-tan.
  • And The Advertisement Server × Glados. Though the former has also been known to go on dates with ELIZA.
• Ask That Guy really loves his pipe.
  • He also had a love affair with a GPS in Episode 54.
  • And MikeJ is really close to his Film Brain puppet.
  • Oancitizen and his trashcan.
  • There has been at least one fic shipping Linkara with Comicron One, and at least one more that pairs him with his magic gun. On one hand, the gun contains the soul of a girl. On the other hand, the girl was only thirteen when she was killed, and judging by her one appearance on the show, hasn't gotten any older.
  • From Demo Reel, Donnie×Pocky due to him fellating a stick of it in an episode dedicated to how bisexual he was.
• Salad Fingers loves rusty spoons. And rusty kettles. And hooks. And taps.
• The Music Video Show has the host and a Terry Crews cardboard cutout.
• Profound Moments In Left 4 Dead 2 gives us Aovnick×Ramirez, the garden gnome in the Dark Carnival campaign.
• Homestar Runner:
  • At one point, Strong Bad fell in love with a wagon full of pancakes.
  • Homestar inadvertently addresses this trope while running a recruiting booth.
    Homestar: Say, you got a girlfriend? Well, what if your girlfriend was a wooden spoon and an orange plastic bowl? That'd be really weird, man. What kind of screwed-up kid are you? We don't recruit your kind! Get out of here!
  • The Cinder Block×The Stop Sign, though their relationship is allegedly troubled.
  • It's the King of Town's fiftieth anniversary with Brunswick Stew.
  • Frank Bennedetto is a popcorn maker and his mother is Marzipan's microwave. No matter who the father is, it would logically have to count.
• Red vs. Blue:
  • Tucker×rock.
  • Lopez×Sheila.
  • According to Word of God, Sheila and Andy were supposed to be exes.
  • What about Caboose×Sheila? Does an unrequited relationship count?
  • Some fans theorize Church×Sniper Rifle, Sarge×Shotgun and Simmons 2.0 (he's almost all machine, it counts)×Sister.
  • Tucker/Energy sword. "Don't talk that way when I'm playing with my thing."
  • Red Zealot×Red Flag.
• LP-er Helloween 4545 loves shotguns.
• Baman and Tuba.
• Epic Meal Time's Harley Morenstein strokes and kisses the Sloppy Super Bowl Big Ben Roethlisburger in the 2nd bloopers video.
• Ryukaki/bike is an extremely popular pairing. People have actually written porn of it.
• Is It a Good Idea to Microwave This? does this with Jory and his microwaves, but Played for Laughs. Some fans have actually written up full biographies for the "microwave girls" as they're known on the show. It's amazing that there hasn't been any Rule 34 of Jory and a popular microwave such as Jackie.
• LP-er Kwebbelkop is in a loving, committed relationship with his microwave. Or at least, he was until he started dating fellow LP-er Azzyland.
• Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse fans sometimes like to ship Ken with Barbie's car muffler, aka the Schlond Poofa. A canon example has Closet, the Master Computer of the Dreamhouse, flirt unsuccessfully with the Fashion Vending Machine.
• Fenspace has several canon examples thanks to Instant AI Just Add Handwavium. Fortunately handwavium also makes it quite easy to create near-perfect bioroid avatars.
• RWBY has Ruby and her weapon, Crescent Rose. It helps that she's cuddled it, called it her "sweetheart", and in general is quite attached to it, on top of being a weapons enthusiast. The ship is called "Guns 'N Roses"
• CollegeHumor: In-universe. Spoofed with a young woman buying a vibrator who turns out to be a sentient, stand-in boyfriend. Eventually it becomes jealous when she finds a real guy.
  Vibrator boyfriend: You used me!
  Girl: That's the whole point!
• Markiplier has Tiny Box Tim and Tiny Box Tina, who are a cute couple when animated.
• In Smosh's "If Romantic Movies Were Real" video, the skits parodying her (2013) and Mannequin show costumed Ian and Anthony making love to a computer and a mannequin, respectively.
• Taken to an extreme with Fat, French and Fabulous host Jessica Pigeau's deep and abiding love for the Metropolitan Transportation Authority.
• Chairem Anime.
  • From the same universe, there's also TV-san/Lamp-san.
• According to Cracked, Skyler Tyler took her life when she was 17 years old. Unfortunately for her, her family misread her suicide letter; The last line of her note, "I'M FINISHED WITH YOUR SHIT" was put down so sloppily that her family read it as, "I'M FAMISHED FOR MORE SHIT." In the darkest kind of narm-humor, Skyler was forever remembered as a lover of poop.
• SMG4 have plenty, most of which involve characters' Trademark Favorite Food:
  • The most obvious being his incarnation of Mario×spaghetti.
    • Mario×the box from "If Mario Was In...Portal" would also qualify.
  • Shy Guy×toast.
  • The Villager×Doritos.
  • For another non-food example, Fishy Boopkins×his Hatsune Miku dakimakura (among others).
• Someone made a Voice Clip Song of Melt using Jack Black's guest appearance on Sesame Street where Jack Black falls in love with a stop sign in the same manner of Hatsune Miku and the boy in the original video. Shown here.
• Overly Sarcastic Productions: Blue×Venice. When some people joked that Cyan, Blue's actual girlfriend/eventual wife is actually "the immortal spirit of Venice" in disguise, she "admitted" that it was true.
• Gayle:
  • According to Gayle, her hippie sister Lisa had a three year, on-again off-again relationship with a jetty.
  • Gayle herself had a brief love affair with the Common App.
    Terry: Please, stop moaning with my Common App, Mom! You better not be eating chocolate covered strawberries with that thing, Mom!

---