"Why did I move here? I guess it was the weather. Or the...ahh I don't know, that thing, that magic. You see it in the movies. I wanted to retire from what I was doing, you know? From that...that line of work. Be a good guy for once, a family man. So, I bought a big house, came here, put my feet up, and I thought I'd be a dad like all the other dads. My kids? They'd be like the kids on TV. We'd play ball and sit in the sun, but well, you know how it is."
— Michael De Santa, Grand Theft Auto V Trailer
"You forget a thousand things every day, pal. Make sure this is one of 'em."
— Michael De Santa
"Man, next time I make a surprise call to some guy I admire to see if he can teach me something, I sure as shit hope he tells me to get lost."
— Franklin Clinton
"You know what? You two motherfuckers terrify me of that middle age."
— Franklin Clinton
Lamar Davis: Wassup, can a loc come up in your crib?
Franklin Clinton: Man, fuck you. I'll see you at work.
Lamar: Ah, nigga, don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful, nigga. Maybe if you got rid of that old yee-yee ass haircut you got you'd get some bitches on your dick. Oh, better yet, maybe Tanisha'll call your dog-ass if she ever stop fucking with that brain surgeon or lawyer she fucking with. Nigga...
(seconds later)
Franklin: (confused) WHAT?! (regains composure) Urgh. Motherfucker...
Franklin Clinton: Man, fuck you. I'll see you at work.
Lamar: Ah, nigga, don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful, nigga. Maybe if you got rid of that old yee-yee ass haircut you got you'd get some bitches on your dick. Oh, better yet, maybe Tanisha'll call your dog-ass if she ever stop fucking with that brain surgeon or lawyer she fucking with. Nigga...
(seconds later)
Franklin: (confused) WHAT?! (regains composure) Urgh. Motherfucker...
— Perhaps the most memetic scene in the whole game, "Franklin and Lamar"
Lamar: Eh, wassup, can a loc come up in your crib?
Franklin: Man, fuck you, man. My kids up in there. I don't want your ass up in my house, nigga.
Lamar: Ah, nigga, don't hate me 'cause your kids love me more than they love you. Maybe if you quit being so uptight and let Uncle Lamar give 'em some game, you'll have some harmony in your household. Nah, I just wanted to get in the hot tub...but now...I don't wanna get in no funky-ass cum bucket. Nigga, go fuck around and get a pink eye, 'cause you's a dirty-ass bea-i-zee-itch.
(seconds later)
Franklin: (confused) What? (turns around and sprays deodorant on the way into his house while grumbling to himself)
Franklin: Man, fuck you, man. My kids up in there. I don't want your ass up in my house, nigga.
Lamar: Ah, nigga, don't hate me 'cause your kids love me more than they love you. Maybe if you quit being so uptight and let Uncle Lamar give 'em some game, you'll have some harmony in your household. Nah, I just wanted to get in the hot tub...but now...I don't wanna get in no funky-ass cum bucket. Nigga, go fuck around and get a pink eye, 'cause you's a dirty-ass bea-i-zee-itch.
(seconds later)
Franklin: (confused) What? (turns around and sprays deodorant on the way into his house while grumbling to himself)
— Lamar roasting Franklin (again) as a Call-Back to the original meme, "Fire It Up"
Devin Weston: You know, you're a resourceful guy getting past those trained killers. I need someone like you in my organization.
Trevor Philips: The CEO position's gonna be vacant real soon, Slick.
Devin: I've got nothing against you, apart from the obvious hygiene issues. Michael caused me problems, so Michael had to go.
Trevor: You're looking at it rationally - there are people who are useful to you and people who ain't, and the people who ain't gotta go. Me, I'm not rational. I feel like taking you out, Devo, so that's what I'm doing.
Devin: This is a serious offer. Work for me and you'll have everything you've ever wanted.
Trevor: All I've ever wanted was to watch you drift in and out of consciousness as you're slowly disemboweled.
Devin: Yes! Yes! That's the kind of creativity I need on my team. Come on, come on, let me out of here!
Trevor: Look! I've got my own company - Trevor Philips Industries...
Devin: Oh yeah, a-a-a-a fellow entrepreneur! Lemme buy you a stake, uh, give you money to GROW!
Trevor: I don't know if you heard, but I'm kinda gold rich right now so you got precisely NOTHING to offer. Prepare for the end, my friend.
Devin: PHILIPS!!!/I'm gonna get you!/YOU'RE DEAD!/SCREW YOU!/YOU CREEPY BUM!
Trevor Philips: The CEO position's gonna be vacant real soon, Slick.
Devin: I've got nothing against you, apart from the obvious hygiene issues. Michael caused me problems, so Michael had to go.
Trevor: You're looking at it rationally - there are people who are useful to you and people who ain't, and the people who ain't gotta go. Me, I'm not rational. I feel like taking you out, Devo, so that's what I'm doing.
Devin: This is a serious offer. Work for me and you'll have everything you've ever wanted.
Trevor: All I've ever wanted was to watch you drift in and out of consciousness as you're slowly disemboweled.
Devin: Yes! Yes! That's the kind of creativity I need on my team. Come on, come on, let me out of here!
Trevor: Look! I've got my own company - Trevor Philips Industries...
Devin: Oh yeah, a-a-a-a fellow entrepreneur! Lemme buy you a stake, uh, give you money to GROW!
Trevor: I don't know if you heard, but I'm kinda gold rich right now so you got precisely NOTHING to offer. Prepare for the end, my friend.
Devin: PHILIPS!!!/I'm gonna get you!/YOU'RE DEAD!/SCREW YOU!/YOU CREEPY BUM!
—Trevor to Devin as Trevor drives him to the cliffside off GOH, Chiliad Mountain State Wilderness, waiting for Michael and Franklin to finish Devin off once and for all, "The Third Way"
(Franklin Michael and Trevor gloat over a bound and gagged Devin Weston; Franklin chose Option C: Deathwish)
Franklin Clinton: My bad, homie. I picked C; ain't that a bitch.
Michael De Santa: You know, Devin, the way I see it, and hey, I'm no intelligent businessman like you, but the way I see it, there's two great evils that bedevil American capitalism of the type that you practice. Number one is outsourcing. You paid a private company to do your dirty work for you, and then you underpaid that company because you thought you were big enough and bad enough that you didn't have to play by the rules. Oh, number two. Off-shoring your profits.
Trevor Phillips: Off-shore?
Michael: Oh, it's horrible. You wouldn't want to be sent off-shore just to save a little money, would you, T?
Trevor: (plays along) Oh, no, I wouldn't.
Michael: Franklin?
Frankin: Oh, nah. I ain't goin' nowhere.
Michael: But we know your opinions on the matter Devin. KEEP YOUR PROBLEMS THE FUCK AWAY FROM AMERICA, huh!?
Trevor: In this instance, when he puts it like that, it makes sense.
Michael: Of course it does! Hey, Devin... Goodbye my old friend. Thanks for all the advice.
Franklin: Buh-bye.
Franklin Clinton: My bad, homie. I picked C; ain't that a bitch.
Michael De Santa: You know, Devin, the way I see it, and hey, I'm no intelligent businessman like you, but the way I see it, there's two great evils that bedevil American capitalism of the type that you practice. Number one is outsourcing. You paid a private company to do your dirty work for you, and then you underpaid that company because you thought you were big enough and bad enough that you didn't have to play by the rules. Oh, number two. Off-shoring your profits.
Trevor Phillips: Off-shore?
Michael: Oh, it's horrible. You wouldn't want to be sent off-shore just to save a little money, would you, T?
Trevor: (plays along) Oh, no, I wouldn't.
Michael: Franklin?
Frankin: Oh, nah. I ain't goin' nowhere.
Michael: But we know your opinions on the matter Devin. KEEP YOUR PROBLEMS THE FUCK AWAY FROM AMERICA, huh!?
Trevor: In this instance, when he puts it like that, it makes sense.
Michael: Of course it does! Hey, Devin... Goodbye my old friend. Thanks for all the advice.
Franklin: Buh-bye.
—The trio finally finish Devin off once and for all, "The Third Way"
