Quotes / Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

Man, if you can eat your food, while everyone else is losing theirs, and blaming you, you straight homie.

— Big Smoke, "Drive-Thru"

"Ah shit. Here we go again... Worst place in the world, Rolling Heights Ballas country. I ain't represented Grove Street in 5 years, but the Ballas won't give a shit."

— Carl Johnson, "In the Beginning"

"All we had to do, was follow the damn train, CJ!"

— Big Smoke, "Wrong Side of the Tracks"

Cluckin' Bell waiter: Can I take your order please?
Big Smoke: Carl, what do you want? You gotta eat to keep your strength up, man.
CJ: Hey, I'll take a number 9, fat boy.
Ryder: Give me a number 9, just like his.
Sweet: Uh, let me get a number 6 with extra dip.
Big Smoke: I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.

— "Drive-Thru"

Woozie: I have a confession to make... I am...I'm blind.
CJ: No shit!

— "Amphibious Assault"

CJ: Uh, one last thing. You do know that I'm black, right? And not Chinese?
Woozie: I'm blind, Carl, not stupid.

— "Amphibious Assault"

Toreno's henchman: This is all about speed and commitment. You got a GPS in the cab. Get to each set of the map coordinates as quick as you can. Make it to all the coordinates, then get the truck back here. Lose the truck and you fail.
CJ: First, what's a GPS? Second, fail what? And third, who the fuck are you?
Toreno's henchman: Sorry, need-to-know basis only! Oh, one more thing, this baby's got 4-wheel steering instead of a handbrake. Good luck!

— "Monster"

CJ: Not feeling so fucking full of yourself now, huh?
Pulaski: (coughs) Yeah, well them's the breaks... fuck...
CJ: Any last requests?
Pulaski: Yeah... can I fuck your sister?
CJ: You're an asshole to the end. Punk motherfucker! (stomps Pulaski on the head)

— "High Noon"

"OK, team, I've gone over the layout to this place so I know it back to front. Everybody follow me!"
(walks into a wall)
"Damn! The devious bastards have changed the layout!"

—Woozie, "Breaking the Bank at Caligula's"

"See you around...officer."

—Carl Johnson, "End of the Line"