Times when a character is a Deadpan Snarker in Fan Works.
Ah! My Goddess
- Ah! Archfall! has a few but probably the best one is this:Belldandy: We could try... singing?
Jago: Well that depends: would you rather be cremated or buried at sea?
- Angel fanfics tend to make Wesley extra snarky.
- In To Hell and Back (Arrowverse), Oliver, though it's more pronounced when he's around Barry and Kara, both of whom have shades of this as well.
- Movie!Yue in Bring Me All Your Elderly!, as she's perfectly aware that she's in a bad movie.
- Most of the animated cast has one or two moments to get their snark on. Katara draws special enjoyment from mocking her movie counterpart.
- Batman Beyond Revisited: He goes up against demons, sadists, and other manners of dangerous men, and Jake still plays this role as long as he can.
- Vow of the King: Uryu's mother, Kanae, reacts to him calling his father a "motherfucker" by insisting he shouldn't say such things about the man, no matter how accurate.
- The Bolt Chronicles: Mittens's dialogue is loaded with wisecracking, sarcastic zingers throughout the series, though Rhino, Mindy Parker, and The Director have their moments. An example from "The Funkmeister":Mittens: All well and good for you, at least, except that you've got an audience of one over here that can't unsee your transgressions against terpsichorean excellence.
Rhino: [waving his paw dismissively] Yeah, yeah — put the snark thesaurus away and make with the music already.
- An End to All Things features an Okazaki that's possibly even snarkier than in the canon.
- Pretty much anyone who's not an idiot or unobservant in the Calvinverse.
- Almost everybody is this in both Aeon Natum Engel and Aeon Entelechy Evangelion, even Rei.
- The protagonist, Hikari, from the Fairy Tail and One Piece fanfiction The Dragon That Will Pierce the Heavens, is not afraid to make comments about all of the hijinks her crew gets into.
- Code Prime has several snarkers throughout the cast.
- There's C.C., who can be quite snarky as in canon.
- Despite speaking in bleep, Bumblebee can throw out a few smart quips as well, even throwing down with C.C.'s barbs.
- Arcee, though she's usually more deadpan.
- Cliffjumper more than once, especially to the Britannians.
- Starscream ends up being on the receiving end of several sarcastic remarks from Knock Out, and even Megatron.
- Prowl can be snarky as well.
- Dalek Sec from A Hero, surprisingly enough.Kyouko: What the hell are you!?
Sec: I AM AN IM-PE-RIA-LIS-TIC SPA-CE NA-ZI. - Tatl Beryllia in The Blue Blur of Termina, especially with Sonic:Sonic: [spotting the doors out of the Clock Tower] Hey, is that the way out?
Tatl: You see any other doors, kid? Let's go already! - Elite Four Boss and Jack Noir in Dave Stdider Pokemon Traner.
- Ethan Sunderland, a.k.a. the Courier, in Mass Foundations: Redemption in the Stars. He makes sarcastic commentary on just about everything.
- Soul Chess has a few. Namely Lelouch in chapter 132, making Aizen flip out and Eien Tamashi, Lelouch's Zanpakuto; she channels C.C., the original snarker.
- Bronzong of the Total Pokémon Island series. Moreso in Total Pokémon World Tour.
- Harry becomes exponentially snarky in The Wizard In The Shadows
after a start in which he didn't talk much at all, then getting steadily snarkier as time goes on. This is largely a reaction to trauma and his way of dealing with it. The narration is also decidedly lemony.Narrator: Gimli, having reached the Horn, blew on it, causing one massive, and vaguely flatulent sound to echo over the deep.
Harry: [just after Gandalf frees Théoden from Saruman] Look upon your kingdom once more. I hear it's very nice this time of year.
Théoden: What does Rohan owe Gondor?
Harry: Would you like me to list that alphabetically, or chronologically? - While several characters get their moments in Beyond the Veil, Kitty has one of the best when the group stumbles upon Harry fighting Mystique.Kurt: Which one's the real Harry?
Kitty: Probably the one shooting magic from his hands. - Child of the Storm has a World of Snark. Practically every character gets their moments.
- Even Thor gets in on the act - something which isn't quite so surprising when you factor in that he was once James Potter. However, Loki, Tony, Darcy, and Harry Dresden are the chief snarkers. Dresden and Tony actually wind up in a snark-off. Asgardians were taking bets.
- Harry Potter (later usually known as Harry Thorson, though he answers to both) is sarcastic to begin with, as in canon, and responds to the shenanigans and murder attempts of increasing scale by becoming a compulsive Deadpan Snarker. For example, in canon, his response to his name coming out of the Goblet of Fire is stunned shock. Here, it's a very deadpan Precision F-Strike.Harry: Oh for fuck's sake.
- Doctor Strange a.k.a. Taliesin mocks absolutely everyone and everything, often in as deadpan a fashion as possible.
- Superwomen of Eva 2: Lone Heir of Krypton: Shinji, in one omake.Shinji: Oh, gee, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I'm reacting like this. It's not like I'm surrounded by beautiful women who are tearing their own clothes off or anything.
- Pokémon Crossing: All three of the leads are regularly sarcastic, whether that be to each other or to other trainers.
- Kidd: "Minors?” Mon dieu! Do you see any pickaxes on us?"Tank: "Tell the guy with a broken arm to climb a rope. Great idea."Benedict: "Yeah, an’ I’m the Champion of the Hoenn region."
- Thousand Shinji: Due to his upbringing, Shinji develops a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor:"Ah, Misato-san, I was going to say... you're late," Shinji said with some annoyance. If she had arrived on time the whole near death thing probably could have been avoided, and people who endangered his life tended to annoy him.
- A good number of characters in Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Supergirl crossover The Vampire of Steel.
- Buffy is a big snarker:Buffy: Yeah. One vamp with powers to change the course of mighty graveyards is all we need for now.
- And so is Supergirl, per canon:To Linda, this whole scenario was making less and less sense in one way and more and more in another. Either Buffy was lying about being connected with drugs, or, worse, she could be a courier carrying something for the Outfit. Further out, she might be connected with some new wacky super-villain who decided to turn up in town for this month's battle. Well, at least she could probably rule out Ambush Bug.
- And Giles:Supergirl: Something wrong, Mr. Giles?
Giles: I was just reflecting on some truly horrible movies that I used to watch as a child. Mostly, we saw them on TV... we had "Creature Features" in Britain, too. They must've been made in the Fifties and early Sixties. Monsters or aliens would land in a small town, a bunch of teenagers would be the only ones who knew about it, and they'd be forced to defeat the monster. Then they'd go back and hit the malt shop afterwards. When I got out of my youth, I thought those were the stupidest movies I'd ever seen. And now, God help me, it seems they're a preparatory text for my life.
- Buffy is a big snarker:
- Mitsuzane in Metroid: Kamen Rider Generations gets moments of this as the story progressed his Character Development to the point he hams it up. His snarkiness even surpassed that of Shinnosuke.
- In I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, Ki-Adi Mundi does an impressive job, despite being a jedi, after Harry Potter side-along apparates Ahsoka away.Tre'jin: We should have expected this from her.
Ki-Adi: What, walking around with a Force wielding bounty hunter that can literally play with the minds of Masters? You must be far stronger in the Force than I to have predicted that.- Likewise, Aayla gets quite snarky when the Jedi Council persist on asking of Harry's a sith even after she reveals how close Ahsoka came to dying. That Aayla just learned Barriss Offee isn't being punished for the crimes she framed Ahsoka for simply makes things worse.
Aayla: Well I did ask him for his Sith membership card and he didn't have one. ... Though I neglected to ask if he was a Sith in secret. I'm sure that he'd just blurt that out to me, so I guess it's still possible. - Yvonne Maxa in Between My Brother and Me: Mors Omnibus is a snarky puppeteer who has sarcastic remarks to practically every single thing she encounters if she's not hamming it up like the performer she is. It gets to the point that when Joey meets up with Specter and Takeru, he compares to two doing something altruistic as Yvonne "not using snark when she talks".
- In All You Need Is Love Naomi, Light, and L all have their moments. Also Original Character Duck.Naomi: I'm leaving, I'll be back later. Take care of yourselves and try not to destroy any furniture in your petty battles for world domination.
Light: My goal is not world domination.
Naomi: Light, you said you'd be god of the new world. What do you call that?
Light: A new era of enlightenment.
Duck: To save face and not sound like a jackass I'll be frank, my goal is world domination.
Naomi: Whatever. Try not to get any blood on the carpet. - Matt, Light, and L in A Cure for Love in a very Brit Com way.Light: OK, 5 across. Dunderhead, 7 letters...
L: Matsuda.
Light: Ha. Not funny. I think it's... Ryuzaki... no, sorry, my mistake, it must be halfwit.
L: The answer is always the obvious one, Light-kun. I think you're making a mistake.
Light: Right and down...
L: Is that an offer or are you asking? This is a ridiculous crossword. Have we two, apparently the greatest minds of our age, really been reduced to doing a quick crossword?
Light: It's the best we have. Stop being a child.
L: Do you like the crossword more than me?
Light: It talks less.
L: And afterwards you can wipe your arse with it.
Light: You're speaking in English again.
L: I thought that you liked it when I talked.
Light: No, that's a misunderstanding on your part. - Everyone in The End Is Near but especially Light with his imaginary "advice column."
- Light Yagami is extra snarky in Welcome To The Family. So are Near, Matt, and Mello. Ryuk also has a rather twisted sense of humor.Near: L is always on his computer. If L's not on his computer that means he's dead.Light: ...Or it could mean that L is trapped under his cake freezer.
- Xanatos:
- While it's generally common for fans to portray Matt this way in fic, this one decided to have a field day with it. Made even better by the fact that Linda generally doesn't get it right away.Matt: Lin, I told you I got this worked out, didn't I? We're going out my bedroom window.
Linda: Out there? Um... are you sure?
Matt: No, actually there's an underground network of tunnels running through a doorway in the back of my closet. - L also fits this trope, and he and Matt even engage in Snark-to-Snark Combat.
- While it's generally common for fans to portray Matt this way in fic, this one decided to have a field day with it. Made even better by the fact that Linda generally doesn't get it right away.
- Chaos and Terriermon from Dimensions. No relation. Plus Impmon.
- From the Tamers Forever Series there's... well... okay bear with me #deep breath# Chaos, Rika, Ruki, Takato, Takeru, Terriermon, Hell even the AUTHOR (and his Avatar) counts as this.
- Although Chaos is by far the most prominent example.
- In the Dragon Age: Inquisition fic series Twice Upon an Age, Varric is at least as much of a deadpan snarker as he is in canon. In this, however, he's not just a character; he's the editor, and a portion of the snark is found in the form of his editor's notes throughout the main story. He's also credited as the author of one of the side volumes, The Skyhold Runner's Guide to Survival, which is almost nothing but snark.
- Averted, however, in another side volume, Across the Waking Sea - this one is comprised of letters exchanged between himself and Bethany Hawke, and "Sunshine" is (as in canon) the one person to whom he is virtually never snarky.
- Mirabel in A little dinner scandal is proven to be this when her patience runs out.Mirabel: I was only going to help Mama...
Julieta: You mother doesn't need your help[.] She works with her gift, and you...
Mirabel: I didn't know a gift was now required to wash the plates and scrub the pans.
- Passing Days: Servants such as Archer EMIYA and Robin Hood tend to have tons of comments leaking sarcasm and snark, a Call-Back to their source series. Not even Vy is immune to the influence, because depending on the receiving party, she can lash out just as well as her favorite Archers.
- Us and Them: Sephiroth usually has a dry comment or two. Leads into becoming the Straight Man after he marries Aeris.
- The Reactsverse:
- Lucina Reacts: Half the cast, but Tharja, Robin and Lucina take the cake. Especially the latter two, anytime they have to clean up after everyone else's antics and shenanigans.
- Corrin Reacts: Azura is the main snarker, sassing out Corrin over his jokes and generally snarking, but Jakob and even Flora and Kaze get their moments.
- In the Three Houses fanfic You'll Get No Answers from the Blue Sea Star, Jo Eisner, who acts as the narrator, views the world through a lens of snark and makes this obvious at every opportunity. She can be a bit cynical, but normally her ribbing is good-natured and she often directs it at herself. Claude tends to match her snark for snark when he wanders through.
- The Seven Names of Envy Angevin: Envy and Russell are especially prone to this, which is what makes them such good foils to the belligerent Ed and crazily hyper Ling respectively, and makes the banter so entertaining. A sample:Ling: Besides, you're being childish. I haven't even slept with anybody in... two weeks!
Russell: Oh, how wonderful for you. Here's a memo: giving your pecker a two-week vacation doesn't make you less of a slag.
- In What About Witch Queen?, ever since Seeker appeared, she snarks from time to time, mostly due to her general tired-with-life attitude.nameless guard: What's this "it"?
Seeker: [in her head] A neutral pronoun. Of course, you probably don't know it, seeing how you are apparently ready to believe someone is making deliveries in the middle of the night.
Ferdinand: He hugged me!
Seeker: Truly, a mark of suspicious activity.
- Jack Harmon and Daniel Lawson, Original Characters featured in The Harmon Verse live and breathe this trope.
- Abraxas (Hrodvitnon):
- Both Alan Jonah and Rick Stanton from Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019) reappear in this story, and they've still got it.
- Vivienne Graham also has a witty tongue and is known for this.
- Chapter 15 reveals that Vivienne got it from her mother.
- Ichi/Eldest Brother and Ni/Elder Brother (Ghidorah's middle and right heads respectively) have moments, particularly during the Villainous Breakdown's early stages. Word of God confirms these two inhuman minds picked up the concept of Deadpan Snarking by gaining mental access to the Many's victims' socio-cultural knowledge.
Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation: Mo Dao Zu Shi / The Untamed
- In An Acceptable Arrangement, Sun Qiu and Hou Yue occasionally have their moments. Especially Sun Qiu.Nie Hongshan: (as Sun Qiu is giving birth and holding his hand): She’s bruising [my hand].Sun Qiu: You both wanted a strong concubine. Aaahhh! Give me your hand again.
- Meng Yao has his moments in Best of My Love.Wei Wuxian: “Fuck me, YaoYao, this is good.”Meng Yao: “Thank you. Especially for the part where I got to see the masticated food in your mouth.”
- call it what you want has all of the competent adults, but Meng Yao, again, takes the cake.Meng Yao: Zixuan and I might have the same birthday, but I think spiritually I’m the older brother. What with being able to hold an extended conversation with another adult, being secure enough in myself to explore my sexuality without fleeing the country, and also having a real job.
- Those That Carry On: When Noah Bright is asked about his politeness by an imprisoned war criminal he shoots back “Would you rather I slapped you around?”
- Harry (and later, Tonks and Fleur) in For Love of Magic speaks fluent snark.
- Everyone in The MSEA Files can cross into this. Even the narrator. Especially the narrator.
- The Setup Wizard: The Sorting Hat, as always. When Emily snuck into the Headmaster's office and tried it on to see what House she would have belonged in if she went to Hogwarts, it just said "IT department."Emily: Cheeky bastard.
- Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum:
- Harry has his moments...Madam Pomfrey: Now, I have learned that your family is not the most...
Harry: Lots of words could go there. - And again when discussing their "self-defense lessons".Luna: [Hermione] flew like a blibbering humdinger.
Ron: How does a humdinger fly?
Harry: Apparently, twenty feet through the air and headfirst into a wall.
- Harry has his moments...
- The Rigel Black Chronicles: Unlike her more boisterous family, Harry's sense of humour tends toward this.
- When the Weasley Twins are trying to persuade her to go along with their public relations pranks.George: Rigel, Rigel, Rigel. What is the fastest way to a man's heart?
Rigel: Between the fourth and fifth ribs. - Looking down at her nose after narrowly escaping dragon fire with an experimental flame-absorbing spray:Rigel: Does this look sunburnt to you?
- When the Weasley Twins are trying to persuade her to go along with their public relations pranks.
- In Kyon: Big Damn Hero, Kyon managed to be more snarky than usual.Kyon: Oh, wow, the fight went bad, so you pulled out a knife! What a brilliant and wholly original tactic!
- Matt, Arthur, and Chris from Part Right, Half Wrong, a Third Crazy, although given that it's pretty much a World of Snark, practically everyone is this at some point.
- Roland in Rude Awakening Redux certainly qualifies. Seekvaira shows some of this too when Roland is around.
- This trope abounds in Some Semblance of Meaning. There's Kit, Fen, Vale's sister Maybelle... Even Vale herself can dish out some pretty good snark, especially when she's in Tsundere mode when dealing with Obsidian. But the biggest example of all would have to be "the pragmatist"—the ever-present voice in the back of Vale's head.
- In Queen of All Oni, there are numerous moments of snark, just like in canon.
- In From Shizune's Perspective, Shizune may be one in canon, but Misha becomes one in here, as the author suggests that she would act that way in sign language-only conversations. At one point, Shizune becomes suspicious because Misha is not snarking at her.Misha: Need a little help there, Shicchan?
Shizune: Eat me.
Misha: No thanks, I already told you I don't go that way.note .
Shizune: Your loss. Too late for you anyway; I'm over my big girl phase. [Misha laughs]
- The alternate version of Saix in The Reluctant Father Universe is this instead of the Jerkass he is in the game.Saix: [on American Football] Axel, it's a stupid sport where men overcompensating for their low intelligence run into each other at high speeds and then beat each other to the ground.
- Pretty much all of the sharpteeth in The Seven Hunters fit this trope. Chomper's parents are also very snarky in their interactions with one another.
- A lot of characters in The Lion King Adventures are this.
- The Interceptor has his moments. Especially with Virusi.
The Interceptor: Oh, I'm so scared of your girly little nails!- Nala, too.
Nala: Let's see you come up with something smart, Mr I-Know-Everything-About-Nothing!- Predictably, Scar.
Scar (at the thought of teaming up with Hago again): Where did that get us last time? Oh, yeah… it got me exiled to this filthy, infested jungle!- Zazu.
Zazu: This is getting tiresome. I'd love to stay and chat, discussing how the names of all my family members are ridiculous and all, but I'm afraid your parents have requested that you are present when they leave.- Simba has a few moments in Dead as a Dodo.
Simba: That would explain why you're no fun.
Zazu: I heard that.
Simba: Yeah, well you were supposed to.- And later:
Nala: Now, if we killed somebody - and we have - what would we do?
'''Simba (half-heartedly): Run around screaming and crying?
- In The Legend of Zelda: Rings of Dualty, protagonists Link and Samba get their moments, as do various NPCs. Most humor comes from Lampshade Hanging, though.Link: [after Samba advises him to use explosives to beat a beamos] But we're knee-deep in goron territory and have yet to find a bomb. Notice that little cosmic joke yet?
The blonde dropped her jaw. "Well, that was, like, really rude," she commented.
"Yeah, sneaking past all the OTHER guards instead of going and asking the FIRST one's pretty rude," the man scoffed. - When the Brush hits the Canvas: Link usualky is the snarkiest guy around, but a few other characters get on it as well.Zora guard: Go ahead. Try avoid getting blasted. Or eaten. Or catching a terminal cold that may spell the end of your swimming endeavors.
- The Story of Apollo, Daphne and Luca: An Italian Tragedy: Bianca is a young girl with a sharp wit and a dry and blunt sense of humour.
- Sarakshi, Marjani and Tora from Seduction will often engage in Snark-to-Snark Combats. Some examples:Sarakshi: Your shirt smells of grass.Marjani: That is a highly flattering compliment, Sarakshi. I don't know how I've survived so far without it.Tora: Who do you think Hoseki's representatives would believe? One of the maids from a café that has done a grand event for the first time, or the well-mannered and chivalrous Igarashi heir?Sarakshi: Well-mannered. Chivalrous. Excuse me while I gag, Igarashi.Tora: I'm sure something as unattractive as that would be right up your street.
- In A Prize for Three Empires, Carol Danvers' mother's sarcasm proves to be unexpectedly sharp.Marie Danvers: Right. Should have, should have. That's a really useful phrase, isn't it, Carol? Bound to be a million uses for it. I should have gone to college. I should have been a working wife. I should have this, I should have that. I should have won ten million dollars in the lottery. But you know what, Carol? I didn't.
- In Mega Man: Defender of the Human Race, ProtoMan often makes snarky comments about Wily's plans or new 'bots he's building.
- Rody Soul in Fear No Evil.
- The Gunslinger Hero: Flintlock:
- Izumi is one. She quite frequently makes comments in relation to events or situations that bother her, or in response to characters making decisions or statements she finds to be stupid. Occasionally combos with her Brutal Honesty.
- Tsuyu also makes comments that would qualify her as one, and similarly to Izumi, it is a consequence of her Brutal Honesty.
- After his quirk manifests, Izuku in Turning a New Leaf suddenly develops an attitude that even he didn't know he had.Bakugo: I didn't need your fucking help that day! You didn't do any fucking good, and were nothing but the useless deku you've always been!
Izuku: Big talk coming from someone who was drowning in shit.
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
- Hard Reset is told in the first person from Twilight's perspective. As the time loop starts to get to her she becomes more and more like this.
- Harmony Theory: Astrid telling Star that she regrets becoming an "unstoppable badass" instead of learning "egghead language" shows her to be this.
- Mendacity: Bon Bon and Aldrovanda spend much of their time together trying to out-snark each other, with Bon Bon preferring understated acidity and Aldrovanda going for a constant stream of abstruse insults.
- Pretty much the most defining characteristic of TD from The Non-Bronyverse. In one of the non-canon transformation stories, he even gets this as an official job title.
- Shining Armor is this in his self titled arc of the Pony POV Series, which he calls "Classic Equestrian Wit". The fact he finds himself in crazy situations all the time gives him plenty to snark about. Apparently, the Royal Guard handbook actually encourages this.Shining Armor: However, the Royal Guard Regulations state in Rule Four Hundred and Nine, that "In face of overwhelming stupidity, an officer is permitted to deploy sarcasm." (I appreciate the Princess' understanding of our position.)
- Brownie gives us some rather witty examples in the early chapters of Rainbow in the Dark.
- In Shadow Snark the titular character is, as expected, very snarky.Shadow Snark: You're sending me to that backwater semi-racist insane asylum to learn about friendship?
Princess Celestia: See, this is why you're leaving. - The protagonist of Sophistication and Betrayal has a habit of snarkily lampshading the weirdness found within Equestria. His marefriend Rarity is also quite fond of responding to his antics with snark.
- Navarone in Diaries of a Madman could almost make a career out of doing this. Celestia and Taya show a lighter version of this, usually responding to his antics with the occasional dry and snarky remark.
- In The Witch of the Everfree, Sunset has her moments.Twilight: Sometimes I don't sleep for days!
Sunset: I usually sleep at nights myself. - The Flash Sentry Chronicles: Flash is one, big time. He loves mocking his opponents and making quick jokes about stuff they said. It's much like Spider-Man, only not with as much punch.
- Celestia has a moment in Below Average when Starlight Glimmer tries to make her lower the sun despite having lost her cutie mark.Celestia: Oh dear, it doesn't seem to be working. I wonder why. Was there anything else or can I go back to my passive resistance now?
Starlight Glimmer: You mean you can't control the sun anymore?
Celestia: What did you think my special talent was?
- The narrator of Kakashi's Kid exhibits this in spades. Unfortunately, she keeps most of her comments to herself in order to keep her cover.Had my face not already been implanted in the floor, I would have done said action immediately.
ANBU Sparrow: "I never fail interesting missions." Nothing like reassurance, eh? - Several members of the cast of Kitsune no Ken: Fist of the Fox get a shot at this here and there, but one of the main ones is Shikamaru, usually in response to Ino's nutty antics or Choji's appetite. There's also Jugo, regarding anything Suigetsu does, or Kushina, who never fails to take the occasional pot-shot at her own son Naruto.
- Naru-Hina Chronicles: In the Mini-sodes, after Shino says to Naruto "I wouldn't leave my girlfriend alone to clean my room in case she found my Porn Stash.":Kiba: [with Blank White Eyes] YOU OWN PORN?!
Shino: Speak up, I don't think they heard you in Suna. - Orochimama: Kakashi becomes progressively snarkier as the story goes on, mostly as a way of coping with the sheer insanity that the existence of "Orochitama" has brought into the world, and his life in particular.Danzo: You would allow the failure (Naruto) to dictate your opinions?
Kakashi: Why not? The Third takes your advice.note
- A Crown of Stars: Many characters are excellent at snarking. Asuka may get quite sarcastic due to her hellish past prior to the fic -fortunately she becomes less caustic and less bitter throughout the story-, but the whole Avaloni civilization loves snarking. And the Emperor is a master at it:Ching: This is an Army show, sir. I'm here as a volunteer, friend, and doc, not as a naval officer. And it's your Empire. You could put a purple-arsed baboon in command, and I'd just salute.
Daniel: Duly noted; I'll make sure your next commanding officer is an unusually colored simian, just for you. - Advice and Trust: Everyone gets a few licks here and there, but highest marks have to go to off-her-sedatives Rei and her comments on her friend Asuka's clandestine affairs.Rei: No, I am not "fucking with you." That is Ikari-kun's job.
- The Child of Love: After tripping Gendo, Rei delivers an excellent bit of snark:Rei: You should look in front of you when you're running like that.
- In Children of an Elder God, Ritsuko is a very sarcastic person and is armed with a very dry sense of humor.Ritsuko: Hmm. I see you're busy. When you two are done, I need to see Misato."
Misato: I was just trying to find out who his girlfriend is!
Ritsuko: I suppose he had it written on the inside of his underwear or something? - Doing It Right This Time: After having gone through the Angel War and the end of the world and then travelling to the past, the three Children have gotten very, very sardonic.
- After having a short talk with Gendo:Asuka: Well, that was a touching family reunion.
Shinji: Could've been worse. He could've forced me into the Eva to go fight the Angel with absolutely no training whatsoever because the only other pilot got put in hospital in a botched synch-test or something. - Rei describes her confrontation with Gendo:Shinji: Figures. How much did you actually tell my father, anyway?
Rei: Few details. Only that everything he had worked towards and everything he had put myself and his only son through had been for nothing, and that he would die alone and unmourned, rejected by the only person he had ever truly loved. [...] It was... cathartic. - After seeing Rei's apartment for first time:Asuka: We spend hundreds of millions of dollars a week keeping the Evas running and they couldn't spring for the rent in a nicer part of Tokyo-3 than this?
Shinji: That's the Japanese housing market for you.
- After having a short talk with Gendo:
- Evangelion 303: Several characters snark occasionally. Main offenders are:
- Shinji, mainly in the first chapters:Asuka: Ya know... You'd be a pretty good pilot if you knew how to control yourself...
Shinji: Weirdest way of conceeding I've ever heard... - Asuka:Misato: Now I want all of you out on the flightline at 1400 hours to greet him.
Asuka: Will this be an official buttkissing, or can we blow sunshine at our own leisure? I think I'm getting my nails done this afternoon... - Jessika:Jessika: [after Asuka has spent a long while complaining about "idiot Shinji"] Hey Asuka... What's the German word for boyfriend?
Asuka: Depends... Could be "fester freund"... or simply "freund" if you were introducing him.
Jessika: Hmmm... I thought maybe "idiot" was the German word for it... - Ritsuko is the biggest offender of this series:Misato: There are times when I really hate this job...
Ritsuko: The better question is: Are there any times when you don't hate your job? - Misato also has some good lines every so often:Misato: Alright kids, listen up. I got news!
[she excitedly tells them the news. Neither of them reacts or pretends to care]
Misato: On the edge of your seats, clearly.
- Shinji, mainly in the first chapters:
- In Ghosts of Evangelion Shinji and Asuka develop a pretty dry sense of humor.
- Asuka complains about Shinji showing her up:Asuka: You always gotta one-up me, eh?
Shinji: Says the woman who's fluent in three languages, has two Ph.D.s, and does guest lectures at MIT and Harvard and other places on a regular basis. - After Asuka almost dies when she delivers their daughter:Shinji: You almost died, Asuka!
Asuka: (sighing) Yes, I'm aware. I was there, remember? But I'm fine now.
- Asuka complains about Shinji showing her up:
- HERZ:
- Kensuke is real good at snarking, especially when he is around Asuka. His sarcastic remarks irritate her every time. In chapter 1:Kensuke: Asuka, could you please just stop pacing around for a moment?
Asuka: Aaargh! I'll make him suuuffer for this! Just you wait till I get back, Baka-Shinji...
Kensuke: Don't whip him too hard this time, alright? - Shinji is usually non-confrontational, but he has some good zingers. Such like when Asuka said it was his fault she was pregnant again:Asuka: BAKA-SHINJI! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
Shinji: My fault!? Why is always my fault!?
Asuka: Of course it's your fault! You're a male!
Shinji: Oh yes! I suppose it's got nothing to with you throwing yourself at me almost every night for the last few weeks! And you kept insisting on being on top as well!
- Kensuke is real good at snarking, especially when he is around Asuka. His sarcastic remarks irritate her every time. In chapter 1:
- Neon Genesis Evangelion: Genocide: Ritsuko has absolutely no sense of humor... but she has plenty sarcasm.Ritsuko: It won't make you feel better, but she probably didn't last more than a few seconds before going into shock. She was never very resilient to begin with. Had their places been reversed, I have no doubt Asuka would have retained some consciousness right until—
Misato: God, Ritsuko
Ritsuko: Unfortunately, the Almighty is not very good with data retrieval. - Once More With Feeling (Crazy-88): Because of his former life and his new confident attitude, Shinji has developed a very sarcastic, caustic sense of humor. After seeing his father's huge — and nearly completely empty — office:Shinji: I'm guessing you've never heard of Ikea.
- The Second Try: Shinji isn't usually sarcastic, but he gives some good one-liners once in a while:
- When Shinji and Asuka are picking a name for their baby:Asuka: Making two lists is double the amount to bicker about.
Shinji: (muttering) Since when do you mind to bicker about something? - When Shinji is arrested, he feels pretty snarky."You seem to feel rather brave today," he allowed himself to comment sarcastically, tugging demonstratively at the over-the-top three-layered handcuffs that still encased his wrists.
- When Shinji and Asuka are picking a name for their baby:
- In Even the Score, Original Characters Ace and Streets are snarkers to the bone. Combined with Jack and Racetrack, all snarky hell breaks loose:Ace: Conlon...he called you Cowboy.
Jack: Yeah, so?
Ace: So does he call ya that 'cause of your taste in hats, or what?
Streets [referring to a bet]: Can I get in on that?
Racetrack: On whose side?
Streets: Not yours.
- In This Bites!, Cross often internally panics when something panic-worthy happens. Externally, the only nervousness he usually shows is a fake smile; he often snarks about whatever they're going through.
- Magikarp from Pokémpanions, he snarks at his friends' flaws like Machoke's bragging and Plusle's energy.
- Several characters in Silver Blood can be considered snarkers, but the most obvious and constant example is Silver. Though, growing up in Team Rocket certainly explains why this is his default reaction to others, at least in his thoughts.Silver: I would feel so much cleverer if I didn't solely do that because everyone else in the Team is apparently stupid.
- Wally's also quite snarky, though it's mostly reserved for Brendan.
- Pokémon Reset Bloodlines has its fair share. The main one is Ash's Pokédex of all things.
- A Force of Four:
- Wonder Woman's daughter Fury's wit is immensely dry:Mala: I do not particularly relish what I must do to the cousin of Kal-L. She is, after all, the last woman of our race. It was a hope of mine, though an illogical one, I grant, that she might realize our position, join the alliance, and bear us the start of a new generation of Kryptonians.
Fury: In your dreams. Maybe in her nightmares. - Like mother, like daughter:Badra: I am not so foolish as to relinquish my own advantage, Diana. Held by those man-joined chains, your power is negated. Freed, you might be a threat to me... so the fetters will remain until the time of your execution. Or should I say, your murder?
Wonder Woman: Greater than you have tried. I assume you keep me alive to see your masterstroke? That's the usual pattern with you mediocrities.
Badra: Mediocrities? No, Diana, the murder of a planet will be more than enough to satisfy even the harshest standards of those in my profession. I will allow you and your daughter to see it. You will know that, with your world's passing, your husband, your mother, your Amazon sisters, and your friends will pass as well. Then we will kill your daughter before your eyes. And then we will kill you.
Fury: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before. Can't we just cut to the final reel, where we slap you back in jail, go back to the clubhouse, and crack a few corny jokes before the credits reel?
- Wonder Woman's daughter Fury's wit is immensely dry:
- EVERYONE who so much as comes anywhere near the main characters becomes this in Power Rangers GPX.
- Valkron of Warriors of the World is the biggest offender considering that in some conversations nearly every other line of dialogue from him is snark. Someone in-universe even remarks his snarkery spreads out and infects people the longer they spend more time with him.
- Ragnarok: Ragna Guardian: Shiro of all people is one. Given that he's the least likely candidate for the Only Sane Man, this is a shocker.Shiro: If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb to your ego and rocket down to your IQ.
- Roku, too, possibly from too much exposure to Shiro.
Roku: Yes, Reiko, it was me who stole the Piece of Chaos. Definitely not the guy who's actually looking for it or anything.
- The four in With Strings Attached. Some examples:John: "Why're you so bloody calm?"George: "Because I'm a better person than you.”The Hunter: “I warn you, children, I have little patience for fools.”Ringo: “If you were a doctor, would you have little fools for patients?”
- In The Progenitor Chronicles, the group in Terragrigia encounters someone infected with the t-Abyss exuding a creepy sultriness. Amy delivers this line:Amy: “Did the city get hit by a slut-virus?”
- Team JNPR in The ProfessionArc decide to review recordings of their spars and offer advice to each other on how to improve. When it comes to Pyrrha, their suggestions amount to things like taking better care of her weapons as Ren noticed a small dent in her shield just before Pyrrha smashed it into his face.
- When detailing their skills, Jaune wonders if Pyrrha's Semblance is even suited for combat given how adept she is at fighting without it and most with a combat oriented Semblance tend to rely heavily on them (like Weiss). Then he learns she can control polarity.
Jaune: Or it can be something like that. Sure, why not - talented, hard working, with Semblance that is basically a giant middle finger to like 99% of all hunters.
- In The Merchant Prince Of Pentos quite a few characters are snarky, only that Ser Edmure takes the cake.
- Robb Returns has a number of examples:
- After Arya's long-winded tale to her family about how Jon was possessed by the Old Gods, a listening Tyrion comments that it was impressive how she said all that without breathing.
- Tywin tells a Septon that, should the Faith Militant even hint at surfacing in the Westerlands, he will have any man in it beheaded with a dull sword. Kevan's reaction?Subtle.
- Archmaester Marwyn. When Archmaester Perestan asks why Lord Hightower is requesting a meeting with him, Marwyn replies he is not a mind reader.
Star Trek: The Original Series
- In Step by Step, Spock, per the norm. Kirk even refers to one of his comments as a "Vulcan burn."I do not show favoritism among my subordinates, Doctor, as that is both against Starfleet regulation and, in addition, quite illogical. Also, were I to for some undisclosed reason to show favoritism, it would most certainly not be towards you.
- Blood and Honor: Vette loves poking fun at self-important Sith, stupid plans and the universe in general. Even a shock collar can't prevent her from taking jabs at her jailer.
- In Hellsister Trilogy, Dan Turpin is a sarcastic as ever:Dan: Then call him and tell him to get his big blue bod to my precinct, on the double. Orion and his boys are back. And I don't want any more of my turf torn up like it was last time they were here. So get him here, so they can get out. Got it?
Jimmy Olsen: Uh. Orion? The guy from the New Gods?
Dan: No, I mean Paddy O'Ryan from County Cork. Of course, it's Orion from the New Gods! Now do it! Goodbye.
- Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts: Clark Kent, under cover of his reputation for being an innocent goody-two-shoes, which leads most people to assume that he can't have meant what he just said or realized how it came out. Lois is the one person who's certain he's doing it deliberately, and it drives her up a wall.
- Down to Agincourt takes 2014-Castiel's tendency towards snark (insouciant, anyone?) and turns it up to eleven.
- In Nightblade, this is Nick's favored form of communication. His Inner Monologue claims that after people have been exposed to him for long enough, they either develop this trait or start ignoring him, and it shows.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)
- Much of Karai's dialogue and monologue in The Chronicles of Karai Getting Her Shit Together is her reacting to things with heavy amounts of sarcasm and irony.
- In A Day Without Leonardo (AO3 link here), Raph snarks Mikey's suggestion on why the streets are so quiet:Mikey: Maybe everyone knows Leo's sick and decided to leave us alone.
Raph: Oh yeah, that's a great idea. The turtles are at a disadvantage, let's do nothing!
- This is Tsuuma's main trait, in Tengen Toppa Gurren Solvernia, she never misses an opportunity to snark at Viral, even if when in the middle of a battle. And if she's not being sarcastic, better pay attention.Viral: My scars have history.
Tsuuma: Now, here you are, the most distinguished assassin of the empire, the ultimate life form, the über-beastmensch of tomorrow!
Tsuuma: [after Kamina knocked him down] "I'm sure you're on the ground because you like it there.
- Nasira in Keepers of the Elements is the most notable snarker in the whole story.
- Unbreakable Red Silken Thread: Noah, just as much as on Total Drama.
- Matt in FREAKIN GENSOKYO, especially on the subjects of murder and sadism. Renko has her moments as well.
- In The Panda Chronicles, Tae Young says Aaron Z snarks when the other members are being goofy in "Surface Pressure".
- Sans in Handplates, which can especially be seen in an au, "Mercyplates" (mostly in the version where Gaster stops experimenting on Sans and Papyrus after he's already started. Granted, it can clearly be seen as a coping mechanism, since the snarky behavior only became noticeable after Gaster drilled on the plates.
- Gaster: Subject One, your turn.Sans: what, not going to break my legs first? how thoughtful of you.
- In Tales of the Emperasque:
- An unnamed Administratum Master:Emperor: I WANT YOU ALL TO LISTEN VERY CLOSELY.
Administratum Master: I assure you that will be very easy, my Lord God. - The picture made by one of the fans has another Lord of Terra snarking as well:Emperor: (having just crashed a huge table) SORRY. YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE.
Lord of Terra: Actually, I don't.
- An unnamed Administratum Master:
- In fancomic "Eagle Ordinary", Commissar Fenstrum Holt is a grizzled, badass war veteran with a dry wit, a short supply of patience, and a bunch of vaguely-competent subordinates.Holt: Is map reading a lost art?
- The Winx Club Play Dugeons and Dragons: Stella tends to answer in sarcastic remarks while wearing the most fed-up and bored expression she can manage. When Musa proposes playing D&D, she responds that there's no way she'd be interested in "swapping fighting real monsters with fighting pretend monsters". When Tecna tells Flora that the race most similar to fairies is elves, Stella assumes all of the players will pick that race, showing utter boredom at Flora's excitement. She's very unimpressed at Musa's player character choice and highlights how lame and unoriginal the phrase 'killer tunes' is.
- In X-Men: The Early Years, Scott Summers' sense of humor is drier than most of world's deserts.Carol: So what have you been doing besides studying, Scott?
Scott: Well, on my off time, I've saved the world a couple of times from evil mutants. I joined a cult and then overthrew its leader because he was badly mistreating his people. That, of course, is after the head of the cult tried to sacrifice me to a demon. After I overthrew the old leader, the members of the cult voted me their leader. I made everyone get jobs and outlawed human sacrifice. I helped them fix up their boarding house and open a soup kitchen for the homeless in its basement. I also organized a band for them, and they're playing at the children's hospital cancer ward benefit next month. Other than that, not much; it's been a slow month.
Carol: (to Xavier) He's learning to express a sense of humor.
Xavier: Yes, Scott is learning to express a sense of humor; a very dry one.
Scott: (looking innocently) That's me, sir, life of the party.
Carol: All I have to do is teach you how to smile now.
Scott: Putting a smile on my face is like putting pastel colors on Wednesday Adams. Some things should just never be done.
- In Loaded Bones, both Bakuras are this, especially when around Yugi and his friends."Anyway, the Ring's in my closet, remember?" said Yugi. "It can't do anything to him from in there."
The spirit sighed loudly inside Bakura's head. "And by such towering intellects am I thwarted."
Says a fair bit about you, doesn't it?
