Fanfic / Bring Me All Your Elderly!

Bring Me All Your Elderly! is an Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfic by RainAndRoses. The premise is simple: after watching The Last Airbender, and brooding over the vast amounts of Adaptation Decay, the Gaang decide to take action. They enter the world of the movie, interacting with their movie counterparts in such a way as to try and solve some of the movie's problems.

Shenanigans (and fourth-wall breakage) ensue. Also cactus juice.

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Bring Me All Your Elderly! provides examples of:

• Actor Allusion: A few with the actors from the movie:
  • At one point Sokka calls his movie counterpart (Jackson Rathbone) a "constipated vampire."
  • While under the influence of cactus juice, Movie!Zuko (Dev Patel) starts babbling about "the third musketeer," demanding to have his ten million rupees, and finally screaming "LATIKA-A-A-A!" as his uncle drags him away.
  • After Movie!Zuko is frozen in a block of ice by Katara, he starts quietly humming "Jai Ho" to entertain himself.
  • After one of Movie!Yue's snarky comments, Aang laughs and says they ought to put her in their next show. Yue's actress in the movie, Seychelle Gabriel, of course plays Asami in The Legend of Korra.
• Adaptation Decay: So much that it motivates the Gaang to enter the movie's universe to fix everything. Basically the entire point of the fic is to mercilessly mock every single scrap of Adaptation Decay in The Last Airbender.
• Adaptation-Induced Plot Hole: Several, as the animated characters often point out. The movie characters usually Hand Wave the plot holes with the stock answer "Because Lord Shyamalan said so." Early on in the story, Iroh theorizes that the movie universe simply doesn't follow the usual rules of cause-and-effect, or even basic logic.
• Adaptational Wimp: Most of the movie characters. Especially Katarola, Katara's live-action counterpart. They're even wimpier in this fic than they are in the movie, because comedy. But it's not exactly much of an exaggeration.
• Atrocious Alias: Some of the nicknames the movie characters get aren't really that bad (Awng, Eeroh, Katarola). Movie Sokka, however, gets stuck with the name Sockson, much to his dismay. Z-Patel also makes it pretty clear that he's not happy with his own nickname.
• Bad "Bad Acting": Movie Yue knows she's in a bad movie, so she doesn't put a lot of effort into her performance and joins the Gaang in their snark and commentary.
• Battle Cry: Sokka can't help pointing out how much of an Epic Fail Movie!Pakku's infamous attempt at a war cry is.
  Sokka: I'm almost getting tired of finding things to make fun of in this movie!
• Berserk Button: Many:
  • Toph loses it at the "Pebble Dance", deciding to break off from the main fic and beat some sense into the Earthbenders.
  • Narrating is one for Katara (particularly when Katarola is doing it). She also hates the scene in the Earthbender prison because of 1) the fact that Awng gets her inspiring speech and 2) the sheer stupidity of the scene in general. She also flips out when Katarola attempts to make out with Aang, understandably. Most things Katarola does are a berserk button for Katara, actually.
  • Zuko has a brief mental breakdown when he discovers that he's actually a cartoon character.
  • Lord Shyamalan goes berserk when Awng, of all people, starts criticizing some of the movie's flaws.
  • Sockson loses it at one point when Sokka abruptly chops off his ponytail. Unfortunately for Sockson, Sokka is a much better fighter than he is.
  • Sockson's failed attempt to hit on Katara works as a berserk button for Katara, Aang and Sokka simultaneously.
• Big Bad: Lord Shyamalan serves as the Fire Lord Ozai-esque main villain of the fic.
• Big "NO!": Averted. Because they're running behind schedule, they have to skip over the scene where Awng discovers the ruins of the Air Temple, and he whines about not getting to do this.
• Brain Bleach: Zuko is traumatized after discovering the internet. Especially the fan fiction.
  Zuko: Zutara, Mai! Did you know? Did you know about Zutara?!
  Mai: [sigh] Yes, Zuko. I've known about Zutara for a while. It's best just to ignore it, trust me.
• Caption Humor: But not of the usual variety. Here, the comedy doesn't come from what the captions actually say, but from the fact that the characters keep tripping over the captions every time they enter a new scene. It Makes Sense in Context. Sort of.
• Casanova Wannabe: Sockson. He strikes out first with Katara and then with Movie!Yue, who prefers Animated!Sokka over him.
• Character Development: The animated characters try to invoke this on the movie characters, with varying degrees of success. Awng actually achieving some sort of character growth is what allows him to defeat Shyamalan in the climax.
• The Chosen One: Awng. He's kinda the Avatar, after all. Aang thinks that it's Awng's destiny to save the movie. As it turns out, Awng's the only one of the Movie!Characters to actually develop a little bit of personality, enabling him to defeat Lord Shyamalan.
• Cloudcuckoolander: Movie Zhao is IN POSSESSION OF KNOWLEDGE FROM THE SECRET SPIRIT LIBRARY!!!... erm, slightly more unhinged than usual.
• Comically Missing the Point: When the animated characters are trying to come up with nicknames for Movie Sokka and Movie Katara, we get this exchange:
  Toph: Nicknames, huh? Shouldn't be too hard, especially for these two. How about Grumpy and Dopey?
  Movie Sokka: [raging] I AM NOT DOPEY!
• Cool Old Guy: Iroh, as usual. He and Eeroh (his movie counterpart) get along swimmingly, with Iroh even starting to wear dreadlocks partway through the fic.
• Curb-Stomp Battle:
  • As a general rule, the animated characters consistently kick the collective butts of their movie counterparts with ease. As one would expect.
  • The Earthbender's riot ends pretty quickly... with Aang dropping a couple boulders on top of the movie Firebender's torches, rendering them instantly helpless. Their response? Run away as fast as they can.
  • Subverted earlier in the same chapter, when it looks like the Gaang are going to take on a group of wimpy Fire Nation soldiers who don't even have any fire. Sokka is confident that it'll be no probl— and Smash Cut to them being transported to prison in handcuffs, wondering what the heck just happened.
  • When Katara goes after Katarola for trying to make out with Aang against his will, the ensuing fight is over in about two seconds.
• Deadpan Snarker: All of the animated characters get a chance to get their snark on (Katara especially enjoys tormenting her live-action counterpart). Movie!Yue gets a few moments too, as she's perfectly aware that she's in a bad movie.
• Department of Redundancy Department: Bad Dialogue Flu causes the afflicted to speak in long rambling sentences that often restate what the original statement of the sentence was.
  Katara: This bad movie film was ruined long before we got here and entered it! And I have no regretful feelings of remorse at all for making fun of you in a mocking way! You were supposed to portray my own character, and you did not portray me with any accuracy at all! You cry and weep and sob and cry and pout and whimper and cry all the time, every scene, non-stop! You can't fight or engage in any combat! And you're mostly just useless in a non-useful way!
• Depower: How Awng defeats M. Night Shyamalan; in a parallel to Aang's fight with Ozai in the original series, Awng enters the Avatar State (or is it the Ahvatar State?) and uses energybending to remove Shyamalan's credibility as a writer, therefore killing any chance at Last Airbender getting a sequel.
• Dull Surprise: Well, it is The Last Airbender. Awng actually breaks out of it near the end, and Movie Yue acts like this because she knows she's in a bad movie and doesn't put a whole lot of effort into her performance.
• Estrogen Brigade: An in-universe one. At one point while Zuko is walking through town with Z-Patel (his movie counterpart), he finds himself being followed by a steadily growing crowd of girls. They're all especially pleased later when he goes on a cactus juice binge. The only one not pleased is Mai.
  Zuko: Don't look at them. Maybe they'll go away.
  Z-Patel: I don't think they're going to go away. They're swarming.
• Flat "What": Sokka's response upon first seeing the movie. Everyone else is just speechless.
• Handwave:
  • Basically anytime the characters change locations inexplicably, the answer is always "because it's a fanfic and the Author is too lazy to explain."
  • At the end of the very first chapter, Sokka predicts that they'll all be transported into the movie universe "without any plausible explanation" in the very next chapter. Of course, he's right and no one questions it.
  • Just the fact that the Gaang somehow went to the theater and watched the movie at all, even though movies, movie theaters, and M. Night Shyamalan all don't exist in their universe, is not only handwaved but is used by Sokka as proof that they are stuck in a humorous fan fic.
  • After Zhao's death, his body mysteriously disappears. The characters all shrug it off, assuming that the Author just didn't want to deal with it.
• Heroic Sacrifice: Averted. Unlike in the movie or the show, Yue doesn't have to sacrifice herself to save the Moon Spirit. Once she's told she doesn't have to die, she promptly goes home, glad to be out of the movie. (And she's never going to call Sockson.)
• I Need a Freaking Drink: Both Zuko and Z-Patel: the former because he just learned he's an animated character, and the latter because he's coming to grips that he's a good actor stuck in a very bad movie.
• Jerkass: Movie Zhao. Zuko and Aang both remark that he's somehow even more obnoxious than Animated Zhao. And he also found a Super Secret Spirit Library!!!... In case you hadn't heard.
• Keet:
  • Aang, same as in the show. He tries turn his movie counterpart Awng into one of these, with some slight success. Though Awng has trouble knowing when and how much of this behavior is appropriate.
    Suki: Is he always this hyper?
    Katara: [sigh] Only in the morning. And sometimes around 2 AM.
  • Of course, when Aang gets his hands on some cactus juice, this gets cranked up to eleven.
• Lampshade Hanging: At every possible opportunity.
• Medium Awareness:
  • Most of the animated characters, but especially Sokka.
  • Movie Yue, who's completely aware that she's in an awful movie, but tries to make the best of it.
  • Averted by Zuko: he's the only one of the animated characters who doesn't even know that they're all fictional characters from an animated TV series, much less that they're in the middle of a goofy fanfic. He doesn't take the revelation very well when he does finally find out.
    Mai: Try to be careful about breaking the fourth wall around Zuko, okay? He doesn't know, and it tends to freak him out a little.
  • Movie Zhao comments that part of the reason he is always bringing up THE LIBRARY!!! is because the Audience won't remember that minor and relatively unimportant plot point unless it's repeated multiple times.
• Mind Screw:
  • Mai's epic breaking of the fourth wall. In short, she not only displays massive Genre Awareness, she also can somehow see and point out the page break and her own future dialogue. This even confuses the Irohs.
  • Also, Zuko's inexplicable time-travel abilities.
• Mushroom Samba: Zuko and Z-Patel take a couple swigs of cactus juice (see I Need a Freaking Drink). Later, at the end of the fic, Aang drinks Zuko's stash and has a Mushroom Samba of his own. There's even a direct reference to the original Mushroom Samba: during Zuko's cactus juice-induced hallucinations, he encounters a talking frog on the stairway to heaven. Zuko's response is pretty much word-for-word from Spike Spiegel.
• My Friends... and Zoidberg: "Listen up, Team Avatar... and Mai."
• No Fourth Wall: Well, it's there, but the animated characters (and the author) tend to ignore it.
  • In fact, the Fourth Wall makes a brief cameo near the beginning of Ch. 8: it's just a random wall in Z-Patel's ship, with a number 4 painted on it. Mai casually points it out to Zuko, who notices that it is riddled with cracks and holes, and bears a sign that says "FRAGILE."
    Zuko: [alarmed] You mean it was there the whole time?
    Mai: It's always there, Zuko. You can't escape it. Not when you're a fictional character, at least. All you can do is break it and laugh.
  • Gets even more pronounced when Zuko steals Mai's iPad and starts reading the fanfic itself. Including the reviews. His brain breaks when he reads the review requesting that the author write a chapter where one of them reads the reviews.
    Zuko: I think I've had enough internet for now. Suddenly I feel very used.
• No Social Skills: Everyone in the movie universe (except probably Eeroh); Awng only has three expressions (two of which look the same) and doesn't even know what "fun" is, Katarola is on the verge of tears all the time and can't stop narrating every single little thing, Sockson is too entrenched in his Wangst to be a grounded character, and Z-Patel is too grounded in his character to break out a little (he does get better after bonding with Zuko over cactus juice).
• "Not So Different" Remark: Aang realizes that he and Awng are actually pretty similar due to their experiences with large amounts of pressure (Aang's stress at everyone expecting him to beat the Fire Nation and learn all the Elements with ease, Awng having to deal with acting for the first time and everyone expecting him to get it right).
• Offscreen Moment of Awesome: The entire scene of Awng getting kidnapped by Movie Zhao and battling his way out with Z-Patel (so, basically, the whole "Blue Spirit" sequence) takes place entirely offscreen, while the Gaang just sits around thinking about how much they'd rather be back in their own universe.
• Only Sane Man:
  • Mai, ever The Stoic, manages to keep a cool head throughout all the general wackiness.
  • Movie Yue has no illusions about the film's quality. It probably helps that her actress is part of the real franchise now.
• Out-of-Character Moment: Several for the movie characters... even though they barely have enough "character" to act out of in the first place. The animated characters usually like to point these moments out whenever they can.
  • Katara actually calls Sockson out on how OOC it was for him to suddenly hit on her (see Wrong On So Many Levels). Especially since he alludes to his role as Jasper in Twilight and implies that he also knows a little something about Japanese Anime too (at least, about the girls in it).
  • Zuko points out how Movie Zhao becomes more and more OOC (and unhinged) the longer he goes on talking.
  • Movie Yue tends to slip in and out of character-mode, usually to deliver some snarky remark or tired acknowledgment of the bad writing in between her half-hearted line readings.
  • Awng having out-of character moments (i.e. when he starts to actually have a personality) is actually used as a Plot Point in the story.
• Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: Sokka's attempt to overcome the effects of Bad Dialogue Flu.
  Sokka: I... DON'T... LIKE... THIS!
• Put on a Bus: Toph leaves about halfway through the fic to train the Pebble Dancers, but comes back for the finale.
• Rule of Funny: What fuels most of the things that happen in the fic. Sokka even states this straight out near the beginning, when Zuko asks how he knew they'd all be sent into the movie universe with no explanation:
  Sokka: (waving his hand) Let's just say, the rules of logic are no match for the power of satire. Also... I'm just that awesome.
• Sarcasm Failure: Sarcasm finally fails Sokka when Sockson calls "EVERYBODY CAN HELP US NOW!" in the middle of Earthbender Prison scene.
• Shipper on Deck: Aang, who tries to encourage Awng to get together with Katarola, though it takes him a little while just to get Awng to notice that Katarola is, in fact, a girl... It doesn't work out, though: see Ship Sinking.
• Ship Sinking: In-universe; the Katarola/Z-Patel fight ends up sinking that universe's version of Kataang in favor of Zutara when the two stop fighting and start making out. However, Aang and Katara are still together in the animated universe, as are Zuko and Mai.
  Iroh: I felt a great disturbance, as if... millions of Kataang fans cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.
• Small Name, Big Ego: Shyamalan; he compares himself to Alfred Hitchcock, and blames Awng and the others for ruining his dream rather than realizing he's a shitty director/writer.
• Smash Cut: When leading up to the Earthbender's prison scene, it looks like the Gaang and the movie characters are about to fight the Fire Nation soldiers that come to arrest them... next cut, and they're being led into the prison, confused as to what just happened.
• Something That Begins with "Boring": There's a sequence where Toph and Suki are waiting while Sokka teaches his movie counterpart sarcasm. Suki suggests I Spy to pass the time, but...
  Toph: I'll give you three seconds to figure out why that was the dumbest thing you have ever said.
  Suki: Oh, right... Sorry.
• Spit Take: Zuko does this twice in the first chapter.
  Toph: But then again, we're characters in a cartoon.
  Zuko: [spits out his tea] We're WHAT?
  [a few lines later...]
  Sokka: Clearly we are all stuck in some fanfic parody with no real logical basis to it at all.
  Zuko: [spits out his tea] We're in a WHAT?
• The Talk: As the title of Chapter Four indicates, Aang has to explain the birds and the bees to his clueless movie counterpart, much to his chagrin.
• Time Travel: Near the beginning of Chapter Six, Zuko is visited by his future self from Chapter Ten. And in Chapter Ten, he walks out of the chapter for a brief time to travel back to Chapter Six, in order to complete the loop. How he's actually able to do this at all is, of course, never explained. Nor is it addressed how Future Zuko is able to tell his past self where to find the bar that sells cactus juice, when the only reason Future Zuko knows this information is because when he was still Past Zuko, his future self told him about it...
• Title Drop: The Gaang uses the moment when Movie!Zuko says the line in question to reveal themselves and start trying to fix the movie.
• Verbal Tic: It would be easier to count the number of lines Zhao has where he doesn't mention The Super Secret Spirit Library!!!, even when the Library! has no relevance to what he's actually talking about.
• Villainous Breakdown: M. Night Shyamalan doesn't take the news that no one likes his movies and no one wants to see him make The Last Airbender 2 very well. He basically turns into Ozai and tries to kill Awng for not being right for his movie.
• Violently Protective Girlfriend:
  • Mai, who has to fight off a crowd of girls to save Zuko after he's had too much cactus juice.
  • Also Katara. Big time.
    Katara: GET YOUR DAINTY LITTLE CUPCAKE HANDS OFF MY BOYFRIEND, YOU PASTY, POUTY, BONEHEADED LITTLE FLOOZY!
  • Also a sickeningly sweet moment, because it's well, Katara.
    Katara turned and snatched Aang rather ungently off the ground, brushing him off and squeezing him protectively.
    "Get your own Airbender!"
• Who Writes This Crap?!: As mentioned in Handwave above, not even the fic itself is immune to all of constant lampshading.
• Wrong On So Many Levels:
  • Aang's response to Katarola trying to forcefully make out with him.
  • Also Katara's response to Sockson trying to hit on her.
    Katara: There are so many things wrong with what you just said that I can't even begin to describe it! I'm the animated version of your sister! What's wrong with you? And second — that was completely out of character! And third — you're a jerk! And fourth - I'm with Aang! And fifth — I'm not Japanese! And last — and last... you're a jerk! And you're sick! And — EWWW, Ugh!

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