Funny / The Angry Video Game Nerd Season Six

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The Nerd gives his heart to Jesus.

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The Making of an Angry Video Game Nerd Episode

• When playing the Barbie game for the NES, AVGN sees so much balls in the game that he thinks the real meaning of this game was that Barbie was obsessed with Ken's balls.
• He talks about avoiding a Cowboy BeBop at His Computer moment from the Street Fighter 2010 review. He originally described the final boss as looking like "Grimace from Sesame Street."

Kid Kool

• His disappointment with Kid Kool's in-game design:
  Nerd: Is that Kid Kool? What happened? He looks nothing like the guy on the cover. Now, that's what you call cool; shaking his fist at a wizard, a dragon humping his leg.
• "I bet the game designers were smoking seven different herbs."
• This random comment he makes about one of the enemies:
  Nerd: There's a guy sitting on a seagull's white poop curl shooting lightning faster than Sonic the Hedgehog can shit out turbo turds.
• The names he gives for each of the the major flaws he finds with the game:
  1. Not being able to backtrack once the screen has scrolled a short distance? That's "One-Way Bullshit".
  2. Kid Kool being Too Fast to Stop? "Two-Gear Diarrhea".
  3. Awkward Jump Physics? "Jump Fuckness".
  4. Being forced to skip across water? "Topside Aquatic Ass".
  5. Momentum-breaking transitions between vertical layers of the screen during jumps? "Air Suspension Shit Lifts".
  6. Invisible Blocks placed seemingly at random and designed to impede progress? "Invis-O-Bitches".
  7. Taking blind jumps, compounded with the sudden vertical screen transitions? "Free-Falling Fuckballs".
• One of the other examples he gives for a game with bad control is Dr. Claw's Dump-and-Pump. When he mentions it, he holds up a fake Sega Genesis cartridge labeled as such, featuring a picture of Dr. Claw plunging a toilet... No, it's not a real game.
• At the end, the Nerd throws the cartridge over his shoulder, and it lands in a metal trash bin. When he hears it, he looks back and then at the camera in surprise, as if James himself didn't actually intend for it to land there.

Nintendo World Championships

• This exchange:
  AVGN: Hey, Pat, you NES Punk. This is the Nerd.
  Pat: Nerd?! I don't think I know any Nerd.
  AVGN: The fuckin Nerd.
  Pat:' Ohhhh, that Nerd!
• During the phone conversation, the Nerd saying he wants to look at Pat's NES World Championships cart and give it the Nerd Seal of Approval.
  Pat: What is that? Like, you'll take a dump on it?
  AVGN: No, that would be the Nerd Seal of Disapproval.
• When Pat accidentally comes across the gold NES World Championships cart and hides it before James can see it:
  AVGN: (shocked expression) What was that game you just had?
  Pat: Oh, ha ha. That was just The Legend of Zelda.
  AVGN: "Legend of", my ass!
• Pat's sarcastic comments on the non-rare games that James bought:
  Pat: Oh, wow; Combat! Classic game! It was included with every Atari 2600!
  Pat: Oh, Golf! Plain old, regular black-box Golf. Oh, wow, this is worth a lot of money.
  Pat: I needed another copy of Super Mario/Duck Hunt! I'm making a coffee table out of them!
• The reference to This is Spın̈al Tap:
  Pat: No-no-no-no! Don't touch it.
  AVGN: I wasn't gonna touch it. I was just pointing.
  Pat: Don't point, even.
  AVGN: Don't point?
  Pat: It can't be played. Never.
  AVGN: Can I look at it?
  Pat: No.
• Pat: "Relax. Relax! It's just a video game. It's only Nintendo World Championships Gold cart. It's just the most sought-after video game, on the plaaaanet!" ''(James and Pat excitedly jump up and down)
• And this exchange:
  AVGN: Yeah, but the gold one's a piece of crap! I mean, you don't want that. I mean, you know how they made those! They just cut out the logo with cheap paper, and they glued it on! With glue!
  Pat: Yeah! Elmer's glue!
  AVGN: Yeah, yeah. I bet Mr. Elmer himself glued it on from his own goat. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
• Both Pat and the Nerd imagine what will happen if they win both versions of the cartridge. Pat imagines him receiving an award by the Nerd for his accomplishment. The Nerd on the other hand... imagines himself putting the games in with the rest of his collection, staring at it for a minute, and walking away.
• The Nerd and Pat agree play against each other in the game and have the winner take all, but when the two walk over the TV, Pat notices something's off:
  Pat: Okay, wh—where—where's your Nintendo?
  Nerd: Oh, the Nintendo? Right there, the Nintoaster.
  (Record Needle Scratch)
  Pat: The what? Are you playing video games or making breakfast? I'm not turning these expensive games into a Goddamn English muffin!
  • The Nerd then suggests that they should just use his reproduction cartridge which Pat agrees to.
• The Nerd being unimpressed with how NES World Championships is merely a compilation of three already released games:
  AVGN: I know a lot of people who own Tetris. And they actually own the whole game.
• When the Nerd smashes both of the Nintendo World Championships cartridges, Pat looks on with horror. Both look at each other in silence before the Nerd hands Pat the reproduction cart. Pat then starts Laughing Mad before proceeding to strangle the Nerd.
• After it seems as if the Nerd destroys both copies of the real Nintendo World Championships because he realized it's just a truncated collection of NES games, the credits show the real copies, revealing that fake games were used as "stand-ins."
  • Right when he smashes the "gold" cartridge, a battery pops out, revealing it was actually a Legend of Zelda cartridge.

Dark Castle

• "What the Hell is this? A ghost giving a castle a blowjob?" (The bridge leading to the titular castle is shaped like a ghost.)
• His Sarcasm Mode statement about how he's going to have nightmares over the cute, cartoonish-looking dragon becomes Hilarious in Hindsight if you've seen James' "The Dragon in my Dreams" video.
• The part when he dramatically pulls out the CD-i version of the game.
  • Then the ending where he chains the Genesis cart and the CD-i disc to the wall and whips them like the torturer in the former version.
• The graffiti on the wall, which reads "Gamers Rule!" and "Saddam was Here."
  Nerd: "Saddam was here"? As in Saddam Hussein? What was he doing writing on castle walls? And "Gamers rule"? That's the same handwriting! So, Saddam was a really hardcore gamer? ...Wow.
• How are the controls for the CD-i game?
  Nerd: The control is impossible. You can't control it. You have more control over the weather than you do the character in this game.
• After struggling with the Genesis version for a while, the Nerd starts to think he might have the game accidentally set on a high difficulty. After checking the options, he discovers to his horror that the game is set on Easy.
  Nerd: (distraught) Easy? It was on Easy? (pissed off) That's their idea of fuckin' EASY?! Are they out of their minds?!
• Calling the CD-i version "heinously anus".

Bible Games III

• While playing The King James Version, the Nerd types in the word "ASS" and finds a whole bunch of KJV Bible passages with the word "ass" ^note The original definition of "ass" is "donkey", and the Bible uses the word in such context, some of them unintentional Double Entendres, including the words "dumb ass". Even the Nerd breaks down in laughter, and then says that he's going to Hell.
• In Adam and Eve, he finds that the game is not the same as the Biblical story of Adam and Eve, but is instead about people floating in balloons fighting worms and eating the supposed "forbidden fruits" called apples! "What were they thinking?!"
• When he revisits Flight to Egypt, he picks up one trivia question scroll that has a fill-in-the-blank for Luke 10:18 (KJV), and says that anyone who's seen the film Street Fighter should know the answer for that passage!
• One game is like "Hangman", only with sheep; you try to guess the word, and each time you get a letter wrong, one of the sheep in a corral jumps over the fence and escapes. The Nerd can't guess the word and all the sheep get out, so he loses. Then he sees what the word is.
  "Goodliest"? Who the fuck uses a word like that? "Blessedness"? Of course. They're all ancient words that nobody says anymore in common speech. Well, that's about the extent of that. I marvel at this game's "shitliness".
• The ending, where the Nerd literally gives his heart to Jesus.
  Nerd: Aaaagh, Jesus!