Funny / Escape from Vault Disney!

"Crab experiments!"

— Everyone on the episode at least five times, discussing The Little Mermaid (1992) S3E3 - "Island of Fear"

If you've watched Tony Goldmark's previous show, then you know this podcast is gonna contain a strong number of laughs.

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2019 - 2020 Episodes

Smart House

• The movie has a son trying to take over his late mother's duties so that his father won't date and replace her. The gang points out in a roundabout way that there are some things a woman could do for his father that a son couldn't. Then Tony Goldmark bluntly says the son wants to fuck his dad and the others react appropriately.
• While discussing a scene where preteen boys imitate a Boy Band's choreography, they point out no teenage boy from the 90's would ever admit to enjoying a boy band due to how repressed and insecure in their masculinity they all were.
• While discussing the A.I. Is a Crapshoot trope, Nick recounts a story where he went out for doughnuts and his GPS led him to an empty gravel parking lot at night and he thought "My GPS is trying to kill me!"

Meet the Deedles

• After watching the movie, Tony's first statement is that the whole podcast was a bad idea.
• Tony remembers that on Siskel & Ebert, Ebert would torture Siskel by repeating "Deedle" over and over again.
• The Great Luke Ski initially mistakes this movie for Meet the Applegates, a movie about giant insects pretending to be human. The others are in disbelief that the movie even exists.
• Dave took a page of notes for Smart House but only five for this movie, most of them just being "Why?"
• Luke says the movie was probably written in the 80's and sat on a desk for several years.
• Dave says that a female character refers to her father as her stepfather so many times it sounds like the setup to a porn movie.
• Tony finds out that one of the actresses who played a minor character in the movie is now a countess.

Amphibia Episode 13

• Tony says that Wisconsinites show affection by emptying dog food on people's heads.
• Luke discusses a meeting he had at Cartoon Network where they said most of their shows were for kids six to eleven while [adult swim] was for people eighteen and over. Luke asked why they assumed kids twelve to seventeen don't watch cartoons. They must be too busy Fortnite dancing and being indoctrinated into Nazism on Youtube.
• The podcast features an "appearance" by the character Gunther, a dopey frog with a Southern accent.
• They interview him with a Running Gag being his inconsistency over whether or not he's a self-aware, fourth wall-breaking cartoon character or an actual sentient talking frog.
• Gunther is apparently stuck in a "Groundhog Day" Loop, reliving reruns of Episode 13 over and over again.
• Tony eventually gets so frustrated with Gunther's stupidity he starts breaking his stuff and throwing him against the wall.
• The guys eventually lick Gunther to get high. Gunther later reveals that Tony licked his ass.
• Luke says that if the creators of Amphibia are listening, he begs them to give him a job so that he can exit the existential nightmare of the podcast.

'Twas the Night

• Santa Claus shows up in the middle of the podcast and the cast grill him about "tickling" kids in their sleep.
• It's revealed that "Santa" is actually Carl Featherbottom, a twelve-year-old with a very deep voice who escaped from a juvenile prison.
• They offer Santa a hot dog and he makes a slurping sound rather than an eating sound. They then say he sucked it up his nose.
• It's later revealed that "Carl" isn't human at all. He's an alien and only then do the podcasters mention that he's green. Tony responds with a Big "WHAT?!" to the fact that they're making first contact with an alien who's also a runaway child with a birth defect who's also Santa Claus.
• Santa makes a warbling, alien noise. Then he says he's just clearing his throat.
• For the "What's the Attraction" section, "Carl" suggests a Haunted Mansion overlay starring Bryan Cranston. Not an animatronic, the actual Bryan Cranston chained to a wall, trying desperately to get his Tony Award back.
• The "LAPD" knocks on the door only to reveal that it's Kyle Carrozza, who is nicknamed "LAPD" because he's a plaything of the rich.

The Book of Pooh - "Day of the Knights"/"Come As Eeyore"

• They mock how strange Owl looks due to the fact he has no eyelids.
• The guys say that Peter Cullen, Eeyore's voice actor, accidentally slips into his Optimus Prime voice occasionally. This leads to the creation of Pessimist Prime, where they say several of Optimus' noble, uplifting lines in Eeyore's voice.
• They then suggest that Eeyore would be an alt-right comedian and was also the first Goth.
• The next episode is "Bravehat", which of course results in them doing Braveheart's famous Rousing Speech in Eeyore's voice.
• The description of the next episode, which is "Piglet finds courage in a new hat." Zach imagines that Piglet literally reaches into a hat and pulls out Courage the Cowardly Dog.
• The "Dueling Poohs" segment between Kyle and Zach, which escalates into the two Poohs getting into a fight and one threatening to fuck the other's mother in the ass.
  • Every moment with Zach for that matter.
  • (Doubles as a heartwarming moment) On the Thanks For The Magic stream, Zach reprised his impression of Pooh at a donation tracker’s request who was working the graveyard. It made her laugh so fucking hard.
  Luke: We're reviewing a pre-school show, by the way.
• Between takes, "Pooh" claims to eat people and shit them out in the woods.
• They, of course, make a joke about Chinese President Xi Jinping. "Aaaand, Banned in China!"
• For the "What's the Attraction?" segment, Luke suggests "Eeyore's Pointless Hole of Despair."

The Wild

• Tony recalls a negative review entitled "Badagascar" ^note the movie is a Dueling Work Madagascar. Then Kyle calls the movie "Sadagascar."
• "This movie does not deserve a sentence as awesome as 'A villainous wildebeest voiced by William Shatner.'"
• Brianna points out the Hindu pigeons. Their accents are so fake that Tony suggests that Hari Kondabolu make a documentary about it.
• They point out the Unfortunate Implications of the female giraffe falling in love with a squirrel who is basically a sexual harasser. Tony than parodies typical victim-blamers who pop out of the woodwork whenever there's a big sexual misconduct allegation.
• They speculate that Eddie Izzard's line "I seem to be running and falling down a lot" is just Eddie venting his frustration at the script.
• David's "When you're making an animated film, you don't need to have good jokes as long as somebody in the movie points out how bad the jokes are."

Pooh's Heffalump Movie

• This is the second Pooh production they've done, so they say they're diving back into the "pile of Pooh."
• When they learn the Heffalump's name is Lumpy, they start singing "A Day to Celebrate."

Halloweentown 2: Kalabar's Revenge

• Kalabar, the title character, isn't in the movie at all.
• Tony's depiction of a phone call between Halloweentown and the real world. Since it's a Year Outside, Hour Inside, one end would be a Motor Mouth while the other would be incredibly slow.
• In the movie, a girl flirts with a boy by saying "Let's go up to my grandma's room." Tony jokes about how they'll be fucking on a bed that stinks like an old lady.
• Tony describes Kal's fake dad as looking like the love child of Kylo Ren and Benedict Cumberbatch.
• Tony speculates that the movie was too cheap to hire extras and just got a bunch of random homeless people to be in the movie for free craft services.

Read It and Weep

• Charlie says he once worked for Toys R Us after high school. Morgan Funder than mocks him with an old-woman impression.
• They are confused about the character named Is. Tony wonders if the movie will be about the definition of "is."
• Charlie reads the description of the movie in his announcer voice, including all the minutia like the duration, release date, genre, rating, format, etc.
• Haley describes the star's hair as being two little tendrils.
• Morgan instantly guesses that a male character won't be the love interest due to his best friends bowl cut hair.
• Since the movie is about a girl's diary becoming a bestseller, Tony compares it to The Diary of a Young Girl.
• Haley compares the Hollywood Homely lead to herself in high school, including her poorly-fitted screen-print T-shirts, her lopsided French braid, and blue shimmer lip gloss which made her look "like a drowning victim."
• Haley randomly asks Morgan what she thinks about liver on pizza just so they can gloat about the podcast passing The Bechdel Test.
• The Fridge Horror at a scene where a whale piñata breaks open and spills seaweed onto a high school dance, including pizza. As far as they know, the seaweed isn't sanitary and was just pulled right out of the ocean. Haley speculates that the movie takes place in Innsmouth.
• Charlie realizes that the movie is basically a female Blank Check.
• When the female lead literally silences a male character by stepping on his mouth, Tony wonders why incels haven't latched onto the movie. Morgan says it's because the Nice Guy actually gets with the girl at the end, which would have incels screaming "Verisimilitude compromised!"
• Charlie wonders why the teenage boy has a brother who looks about forty. Morgan speculates that the actor was so vain he refused to play the kid's father and was rewritten as a brother.
• Tony says the movie makes him understand why High School Musical was such a big hit. If most Disney Channel movies were this mediocre, HSM must have seemed mind-blowingly excellent.
• Haley says the main character's brother seems like a guy who doesn't wash his ass well because he thinks it's gay. Baffled, Tony asks if that's a Southern expression. Haley says it's actually an internet thing. Then Charlie mentions a Reddit story about a girl who said her boyfriend never washed his genitals because he thought that was gay.
• After saying a character looked like their friend Garrett, they say the character spends way more time on his hair than any straight male teenager and looks like a John Mayer knockoff. Charlie quickly chimes in with "For the record, we're not talking about you, Garrett."
• Haley explains the "lesbian dance loophole."^note High school girls without dates going as couples so that they can get a discounted price on the tickets.
• Both of Tony's Berserk Buttons get pressed. Morgan uses the expression "It's a very small world", which results in everyone subtly alluding to the ride as Tony threatens them. Charlie then mentions Is saying "figments of imagination."

Doug Episode 21: Quailman vs. The Triad of Terror

• Haley muses that Doug was part of a mellow, slice-of-life genre that died out after 9/11.
  Charlie: Hey, let's watch this Disney Plus cartoon!
• Tony describes the title of Doug's 1st Movie as "ominous", as if they were threatening to make more.
• They remember how Disney's Doug was once branded as "Brand Spanking-New Doug." It was wisely shortened back to "Disney's Doug."
• Charlie says "Without further a-Doug."
  Haley: Sit in the corner.
  Charlie: I am in the corner
• They point out how Nickelodeon's Doug theme song is a Ear Worm that they could remember even years after the show went off the air but the Disney theme song they couldn't remember with a "gun to their heads" even though they just watched the show.
• They end up going on a tangent about educational TV requirements, Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, and a Harsher in Hindsight PSA with Bill Cosby.
• While discussing COPPA, Charlie says he has the "COPPA Feels." Haley boos him.

Frank and Ollie

• Tony describes how he first met Jenny Nicholson through Kevin Perjurer of Defunctland. Kevin recognized Tony but Tony couldn't recognize him since he doesn't show his face in his videos. He jokingly acts surprised that Kevin doesn't just look like a living wax statue. Jenny jokes that he's hideously deformed.
• Dave says he was such a boring kid that he owned this, a documentary about two of Disney's Nine Old Men, on VHS. Tony then one-ups him by saying that he saw this movie in theaters.
• Jenny expresses disappointment that this is a documentary and not a dog movie.
• The gang mocks how Andy Gaskill seems perplexed by close male frienships and insists that he's not that close with men.
• The movie includes riveting scenes like the director packing shoes to visit his father and shaving.
• They note how casually Frank and Ollie treat the original drawings they did for The Jungle Book (1967), which could be sold for thousands of dollars. Jenny imagines Disney archivists raiding their homes like The Men in Black to save the drawings after they die.
• The son of Frank and Ollie's old landlord apparently held funerals in the backyard for dead grass.
  Tony: And he grew up to be Charles Manson!
• Dave says a story about how Frank and Ollie would share the same razor felt really Grandpa Simpson.
• And then the Nazis came!
• "Disney animation is full of sexually aggressive squirrels."
• Jenny mistakes a caricature of Frank Thomas for "Big Pinocchio."
• Alessandra reveals a surprising connection between her and Robert Sherman. Robert had identical twin granddaughters and Alessandra's brother dated them both without telling them so he's been banned from their house. One of history's greatest songwriting legends had a personal grudge against her brother.
• Jenny says John Canemaker sounds like either a serial killer or a space alien based on how rigidly and clinically he describes animation.
• Jenny is shocked when Tony says he didn't like Smart House.

Newsies

• Nicholas says that when he first watched the movie, he loved it so much that he had to pause the movie and gush about it to his sister.
• Tony shamefully admits that he's never seen the play or the movie, which makes him a bad Disney fan.
• Tony compares the line "Why do grown-ups talk?" to the memetic phrase "OK, boomer."
• Nicholas wonders how the movie Newsies could afford to eat at restaurants if they're not making any money.
  Dave: So you're wondering how they eat and drink and other science facts?
• Dave calls Pullitzer's song "Bottom Line" the "Bob Chapek Anthem."
• Tony says that Crutchy was given that name by his parents and it was a complete coincidence that he broke his leg later on.
• David asks "How many Disney movies end in Deus Ex Roosevelt?" ^note Teddy Roosevelt appears in Newsies while Franklin Roosevelt appears in Annie
• Nicholas says that Gangs of New York is like if Martin Scorsese said "What if the Newsies wasn't fun and also sucked and was three hours long?"
  Dave: But it's cinema!^note A reference to Scorsese's controversial statement that Marvel Cinematic Universe movies aren't cinema
• Alessandra says "Hard Disney Plus. I want Jeremy Jordan to snap my neck."
• The next movie the randomizer assigns them is Jack (1996), causing Tony and Kevin to burst out laughing.

Jack (1996):

• They mock the Serial Escalation of the scene where more and more kids start playing outside Jack's house hoping to coax him out of his Heroic BSoD. They imagine a full-blown parade outside his house and Elon Musk appearing in a Drill Tank.
• The font of the credits in this lighthearted kids' movie looks like a ransom note.
• They imagine that contractual obligation was the only way the studio could have gotten so many talented people to work on such a bad movie.
• The movie is mistakenly listed on Disney Plus as a superhero movie. Tony speculates that it was a Take That! to Francis Ford Coppola for siding with Martin Scorsese in insulting superhero movies.
  • And earlier, Tony calls out Coppola's hypocrisy since he literally made a theme park movie with Captain EO.
• For the "What's the Attraction?" segment, Tony proposes an attraction where the Genie selects a bunch of kids and has a contest over who can act the most like a grown-up Robin Williams. It will be called the Jack-Off. The others react appropriately.

Bug Juice: My Adventures at Camp Episode 16

• Tony says that if you took one line off the graphic of the "Wazi News" segment, it would be "Nazi News."
  Tony: At least they aren't sending the Jews to camp.
• They talk about their own experiences with summer camp: Tony says he never came back without some disease while Chris says his experience was so bad that he decided not to graduate from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts.
• Tony says the show is just the last verse of "Hullo Maddah, Hullo Fadduh".
• Chris says he likes going out into nature...so long as there's no people.
• The big difference between kid camping and adult camping: Lots of weed and alcohol.
• They lampshade that the show is so uninteresting that they've just started talking about their own camping experiences.
• The camp had "Vegas Night" and one boy went around asking girls to fake-marry him. "Welcome to Camp Epstein!"
• The tagline for Camp Waziyatah: We are definitely not a cult!
• They mention a Creepy Child who lists off her favorite foods. Cookies, brownies, and (sudden close-up) ice cream.
• They talk about how every little kid wants to be an older kid, every older kid wants to be an adult, and every adult wants to be a kid. They then mock adults who are desperate to return to their hopeful, innocent youth by creating silly webshows that give them an excuse to watch old Disney shows and go to theme parks.

Shipwrecked

• Chris speculates that the movie is about an alternate universe where the Reylo ship from The Rise of Skywalker didn't happen and all the shippers rioted.
• When they come back from watching the movie, they all speak in exaggerated Scandinavian accents.
  Tony: Just remember, it's not racist if it's white people!
• Tony calls the movie Cast Away Babies. The guys spent the movie shouting "Wilson!" in their fake Scandinavian accents.
• They discuss the film's Artistic License – History. Tony mentions a Futurama scene where the characters travel back to the 20th century and want to go disco-dancing and mammoth-hunting.
• Then they move on to biology. At the start of the movie, Chris hopes that a monkey shows up just so he can bitch about it being in the wrong place. That actually happens.
• For the "What's the Attraction" bit, Zach suggests chucking kids off the Columbia and making them escape Tom Sawyer Island while being waylaid by a guy in a gorilla suit. Tony suggests the same thing, but with real gorillas.

The Little Mermaid (1992) (series) S3E3 - "Island of Fear"

• Rob Bergman, the patron who won Tony's contest to identify everyone in the Zip-Ah-Dee-Doo-Dah montage coincidentally also won the "Show Me Your Doc" contest for the Some Jerk with a Camera episode on Back to the Future: The Ride. So he's very good at winning contests set up specifically by Tony Goldmark.
  Morgan: Hashtag Obscure Superpowers!
• Morgan remembers being terrified of an episode where a creepy sponge latches onto people's brains and sucks out their imagination. Kyle Carrozza says it sounds like Jhonen Vasquez wrote that episode.
• Tony wonders why Ariel's merman friend Urchin doesn't appear in the movie. Kitty speculates that he died on his way back to his home planet.
• Tony's first comment after watching the episode: "What the fuck was that?"
• Morgan wonders how many kids were unintentionally traumatized by this show. Tony imagines a little girl who wants to see the Little Mermaid shocked by the sudden appearance of CRAB MONSTERS!
• Kyle says the show probably would've given more kids nightmares if it were animated better.
• They speculate that the whole writing staff of the show is just disaffected horror writers resentful they had to work on The Little Mermaid.
• Tony imagines that Dr. Vile's grandchild will eventually insist that his name is pronounced "vee-lay".
• Tony pointing out the Fridge Brilliance of the episode. Sebastian starts out singing he loves the beach, which contradicts his characterization in the movie. His experiences with Dr. Vile must have given him PTSD.
• "CRAB EXPERIMENTS!"
• For the "What's The Attraction?" portion, Morgan proposes "Crab Experiments" as a new dish at a park restaurant.
• Tony suggests that random riders on "Ariel's Undersea Adventure" be taken down an alternate path to Dr. Vile's laboratory.

Milo Murphy's Law S1E12-13 - Missing Milo parts 1 & 2

• Tony says if you split his brain in half, it would just be half Disney trivial and half "Weird Al" Yankovic trivia. Zach says that the middle of his brain must just be "Skipper Dan" on repeat.
• The ad for the podcast Channel KRT starts like an ad for a medicine, with Katie asking if you find yourself wondering if the obscure TV show you once saw was real or just a fever dream. It ends with Katie saying "Cut to static".
• Tony says one of his hobbies is collecting rare Weird Al songs that aren't on any albums. Jeff asks if Tony secretly records Al in the shower.
• Tony tells Zach that the show's Zack is one of those "heathens" that spells their name with a K. Zach says it means he'll grow up to write bad DC movies.
• "And that's all we're going to say about Harry Potter!"^note They discuss several series, including Harry Potter, and their approach to time travel. Tony says this in reference to J.K. Rowling's controversial statements on transgender people.
• For the "What's the Attraction?" segment, Zach suggests converting "Great Times With Mr. Lincoln" into a show about everything that's gone wrong in 2020. They'll call it "Milo Murphy's Year."
• Tony laments that they couldn't get someone from the Weird Al podcast "Weird Alphabet" to join them only for David Spencer to call in and ask to join at the very last minute.
• Tony refers to Chicken Little as a "classic?"

Chicken Little

• Tony starts by talking about an old Disney short by the same name, which involves a fox reading Mein Kampf. The book's title was later changed to Psychology because they didn't want the movie to become dated after the war.
• Tony calls Cars 2 garbage. Luke, who loves the Cars franchise, says his ears suddenly caught COVID and he couldn't hear anything he just said.
• Luke compares Disney in its transitional early-2000s era to an awkward, directionless teenager going through puberty. Tony builds on the analogy by comparing the current Disney era to a person having a mid-life crisis and being obsessed with nostalgia.
• Luke's description of the opening scene for The Emperor's New Groove
  Luke: David Spade in How I Wet Your Llama."
• While discussing the appearance of the live-action Raiders of the Lost Ark in the movie, Luke says they should have made Indiana Jones a dog for the Mythology Gag and so they could name the movie Raiders of the Lost Bark.
• The gang mocks how dated the movie is due to the Bare Naked Ladies song and a scene where several characters take out their phones and call their friends rather than texting.
• David says the movie reminded him of being the worst kid on his Little League team. After one lucky hit, he's transferred to infield...where he breaks his thumb and is out for the rest of the season.
• Tony remembers the Nightmare Fuel promotion where Disney California Adventure and Disney MGM Studios had giant Chicken Little balloons peering over the tops of buildings. One Twitter user posted the pic with the caption "Bow before your God!"
• In a call-back to the "Raiders of the Lost Bark" joke, Luke says "Rakes, why did it have to be rakes?" in a Scooby-Doo voice.
  Tony: The Sideshow Bob Story.

The Rocketeer

• Ryan Hipp claims he's been divorced from his fellow panelists a total of seven times.
• Doggans recalls discovering the Rocketeer read-along book and tape in a used book store and thinking "Wow, Disney made a superhero movie?"
• Ryan's aside explaining to younger viewers what a tape is. "It's like Spotify, except it sucks. And now, back to the AARP podcast!"
• During a digression on Dick Tracy, Alessandra teases a story about how her family knows and hates Warren Beatty but she doesn't explain why and decides to save her story for later.
• In the transition, Tony goes on a serious discussion of how Disney is laying off 28,000 cast members due to the pandemic while its executive salaries have been returned to pre-pandemic levels. He ends with "And now, back to my podcast about the jetpack movie!"
• Alessandra says she loved everything about the movie except the lead character.
• Tony says there's a fine line between Timothy Dalton playing a hammy actor and Dalton just being a "board-certified hammy actor."
• Tony says how Neville Sinclair would probably get "Me Too'd" nowadays before they all start mocking all the apologists and victim-blamers that defend celebrity predators.
  Alessandra: Every wealthy person has a large collection of women's robes on-hand.
  Tony: #IStandWithNaziBob
  Dave: Look, you're going to cancel him and now he's just going to make $600,000 a month off of his podcast.
  Ryan: Wait, I'm getting word in my ear that Neville Sinclair is now the new correspondant for Fox News.
• They all reluctantly admit that while it's a sexual assault scene, Jenny's scene with Neville is still pretty hot.
• Doggans repeatedly plugging his Patreon after being prompted by Ryan.
• The guy the Rocketeer saves from the plane is played by someone who would later play Jonathan Kent. Tony jokes that he would've told the Rocketeer not to save him because people are watching.
• Dave and Tony say it's nice to watch a movie from back when Alan Arkin gave a shit about acting.
• Tony imagines Elton John saying "Fuck you!" during the scene where they reject "Rocket Man" as a potential nickname for the Rocketeer.
• Ryan jokes that if Tom Cruise were playing the Rocketeer, he'd try to get himself killed by a real jetpack.
• While discussing modern news' attempts to be neutral, Tony mocks the term "racially charged", as if there's a "racist battery" or something.
• They wonder where Nazis got animators for their propaganda movies. They imagine Leni Riefenstahl branching out into animation and creating Leni Riefenstahl-Toons.
  Alessandra: I'm leaving.
• They lament that animator Mark Dindal has fallen from Rocketeer to Wonder Park.

Return to Oz

• Tony says that, as a little kid, the flying monkeys weren't too scary for him but he was terrified of Grover.
• Tony's story about how, while building the Great Movie Ride, Michael Eisner refused to use Return to Oz for the climax and insisted on using the classic Wizard of Oz movie regardless of how much money they had to pay for licensing. Everyone Has Standards indeed. ^note Eisner has a reputation for making artistic sacrifices for the sake of cost-cutting and cross-promotion.
• Right before the cutaway, Morgan says "Pray for us."
• When they come back, Tony's first reaction is "I need an adult."
  Morgan: I'm not old enough for this movie.
  Tony: I'm either not old or drunk or perverted enough for this movie.
• Morgan's "Is this what Gen Xers had to grow up with? Because this might explain a lot."
• Tony describes the movie as a lobotomized Labyrinth. He also calls it "the cinematic equivalent of being molested."
• Tony compares Walter Murch as The Team Wannabe to film-school graduates who took over Hollywood in the 80's like Coppola, Lucas, Spielberg, and Zemeckis.
• Tony describes Tik Tok as the result of Colonel Mustard fucking BB-8.
• Morgan's father walked in on her during the "hall of Mombi's disembodied heads" scene and saw it completely without context.
• They flew over the Deadly Desert, which makes them smarter than hobbits.
• They make fun of how bad the Scarecrow looks. Tony says it looks like a Chuck E. Cheese animatronic while Kevin says it looks like a shaved Muppet.
• Kevin, who is from Kansas, is baffled that Dorothy always wants to go back to "fucking boring" Kansas rather than stay in Oz and become royalty.
• Tony says the movie is the Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice of its era: taking beloved childhood icons and darkening them while calling it a Deconstruction. Sydney warns him that he's going to piss off the Patrons who asked for it.
• Kevin suggests watching the movie while high. Tony says this would only make the movie more terrifying and make you swear off pot forever, turning the movie into a "scared straight" program.

While You Were Sleeping

• Tony can only think of two movies released by Hollywood Pictures: The Sixth Sense and Super Mario Bros. (1993).
• Tony says lyricist Nick Hornby's greatest fear for the song "From Above" was that nobody would remember the movie While You Were Sleeping.
• The State of the Parks segment, where Tony mentions an interview Max Landis did with Jenny Nicholson which you can watch "If you can stand looking at his stupid face." Landis' idea was that human souls couldn't travel at light speed so space travelers would often return as zombies. Nicholson points out how similar this is to Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl.
• Tony wonders why the family doesn't postpone Christmas festivities while one of their family members is in a coma.
• While discussing how many authentic shots of Chicago were in the film, Tim quips that you can see his car being towed in one of them.^note Tim gave Tony a ride to Mars Con and, due to unfamiliarity with their parking laws, Tim got his car towed. Apparently "Snow Zones" are off-limits even if there's no snow. Kitty says this story is more interesting than the movie itself.
• Tim says Peter Gallagher, who plays the guy in the coma, looks almost like a caricature of a leading man. He's like every "before" boyfriend in a Hallmark movie.
• Kitty and Tony say Gallagher looks like an unsuccessful prototype of Chris Pine.
• Kitty says Bill Pullman seems more like a Han Solo parody in this movie than he did in Spaceballs due to the Han-and-Leia style chemistry between him and the lead.
• Kitty calls Tony racist against chairs and Tony has to issue an apology.^note Tony is baffled at how the movie shows an ordinary chair as a piece of beautiful craftsmanship.
• They discuss the "Friends" Rent Control in the movie and how Peter's (Gallagher's character) apartment looks like a conference room in a corporate office. Luke points out that Peter is so narcissistic that he has more pictures of himself than his family.
• Tim says his wife has seen the movie and laughed hysterically when she found out he had to watch it.
• You can tell Peter's real fiancee is evil because SHE'S BLONDE!!!
• Tony says how Saul Tuttle was so stereotypically Jewish that they probably wanted someone like Mel Brooks to play him. While the actor is Jewish, Kitty says "He doesn't look Druish!"
• Luke describes the character of Joe Junior as a stereotypical Italian asked to demonstrate what a stereotypical Italian would act like.
• Their disgust at Bullock dipping an Oreo in milk her cat just drank. Tony says it's her fetish while Kitty speculates this is where the cat flu from Escape from Tomorrow started.

Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas

• As he's only caught bits of this movie while visiting relatives with small children, Tony says he's never "intentionally" watched it. One of the guests envisions someone walking up to Tony on the street and shoving an iPhone with the movie into his face.
• While attending a Christmas Party at Magic Kingdom, Sydney remembers seeing a boy viewing a diorama where Scrooge McDuck being dragged into Hell by the Ghost of Christmas Future and asking his mom what was happening. The mother answered "She's helping him get out of the hole!"
• The movie is narrated by Kelsey Grammer so Tony includes one of his sweet Christmas movie narrations interrupted by the sound of Sideshow Bob stepping on a rake and getting whacked in the face.
• Since Donald's nephews refer to Daisy as "Aunt Daisy", Tony wonders exactly what her relationship with Donald is. Are they married though they don't live together, divorced, or siblings in an incestuous relationship?
• Their discussion of ducks eating turkey.
• Dave remembers his father's post-Christmas tradition of building a huge bonfire with all the neighborhood Christmas trees. Some of the guests didn't remove the tinsel, which resulted in some interestingly colored fire.
• They speculate about the store "Lumberjack Lingerie" that appears in the background of a shot.
• Tony points out that David keeps coincidentally getting assigned movies that parody the boulder scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark: Chicken Little, UHF, and this movie.
• Tony's reaction to Max staying up all night in existential despair after finding out Santa doesn't exist. "Welcome to atheism, kid! It's no damn fun."
• Tony claims that Tom Holland will appear on the podcast to read off the next randomizer selection, only to get interrupted by Carl Featherbottom, who says that if he doesn't read off the next selection, Christmas will be canceled!

Richie Rich's Christmas Wish

• Dave is angry that they did While You Were Sleeping without him.
• The return of the twelve-year-old criminal alien Santa Claus Carl Featherbottom. Though he was twelve in his last appearance a year ago, he says he's now fifty-five because 2020 aged him so much.
• Carl claims he ran into Tim Allen and made him watch all of Geppetto on his phone. When Drew Carey started singing, Tim died.
• Randee calls Superstar Limo the The Black Cauldron of the Disney Parks. It has no musicals and it's an abortion.
• Tony points out that two people doing voicework on the same project don't necessarily meet each other. Barack Obama didn't meet Calvin Coolidge for the Hall of Presidents.
  Dave: But they did in my fanfiction!
• Carl's lawyer is Rudy Giuliani, who he gave COVID.
• Carl put Tim Allen's corpse in Randee's closet as an early Christmas present. Randee is pissed because she asked for seat covers.
• Right before they break to watch the movie, Carl says "God help us, every one!"
• Tony calls the movie "dangerously nineties" due to the Special Effects Failure. Randee says the green screen was so bad it reminded her of the speeder bike chase in Return of the Jedi.
• They compare Reggie, the rich bratty villain, to Donald Trump. Then they learn that Reggie's mother is played by Trump's second wife. They speculate that Trump modeled his entire personality off Reggie and even has his own wishing machine.
• The gang wonders why the wishing machine only works on Christmas Eve and not on birthdays or any other time lots of people are wishing. Dave invents wishichlorians.
• They speculate on what unethical eugenics resulted in a dog covered in dollar signs.
• They wonder how the Riches got their money and Randee speculates that Richie's dad is doing some "Pablo Escobar shit."
• Randee lived in a dumpster, died, got mistaken for a mannequin, and thrown in a lake. Then she was rescued by a mermaid and, though she hoped for an Interspecies Romance, they had different goals.
• Tony is horrified that two adult women flirt with the underage Richie. Later, Randee points out an Easter Egg where one of the original Richie Rich comics appears...on Richie's boxers.
• Tony says that if Reggie is Donald Trump, Richie is Mitt Romney. He's better but he's not good.
• The Running Gag where Carl talks about his past but his inconsistent age keeps randomly changing. Tony thinks he's the physical embodiment of the randomizer and yells at him for making him watch Jack (1996). Dave expected him to look more like Katey Sagal.
• Carl proposes a sequel where Reggie is visited by three ghosts after being visited by the ghost of Cadbury in chains. Then he pats himself on the back for his completely original idea.
• Randee claims that Tommy Wiseau is in her house and talking to her dog. He used the wishing machine to gain the ability to fly and Randee chases him out with a broom. ^note An allusion to something that happened in the movie. Reggie gained the ability to fly but wasn't smart enough to fly away when the heroes attacked him with brooms.
• Carl remembers a scene where a homeless people look at something and say it looks infected. "I probably gave it to him."
• Tony wishes that, when a homeless kid asks if he has something to eat, Richie had said "Just this dog."
• Tony realizes that all three Christmas movies he watched for the podcast make fun of the Salvation Army. This leads to several Take Thats to the homophobic organization.
• We learn that Tommy Wiseau is from the same species as Carl. They can't survive northwestern climate, so he froze to death outside Randee's house and his corpse is in the same closet as Tim Allen's.
• Carl says he was in Miracle on 34th Street and Randee asks why he "did that to Natalie Wood."^note Wood mysteriously died of drowning at the age of 43.
  Carl: This just got real dark.
  Tony: She knew too much.

2021 Episodes

The Adventures of Huck Finn

• The gang makes several puns off Morgan Funder's name, such as "Funderstruck".
• Chris Nebergall's impression of an audiobook narrator with a "newscaster voice" trying to do Southern accents.
• Tony says one plan for the unused CBJ theater was an animatronic show called "Mark Twain Tonight." Madeline says it sounds like a talk show.
• Madeline says that the movie being called "Huck Finn" instead of "Huckleberry Finn" makes the character sound Totally Radical. The gang, of course, makes a bunch of Poochie references.
• Madeline hates the movie so much she considered pretending to watch the movie and letting Chris cover for her.
• The movie's introduction of Jim, which turns him from a mildly superstitious slave to an outright soothsayer, is so offensive that they feel the need to apologize to all practitioners of Voodoo, black people, Romani, and Louisianans.
• Morgan says Ron Perlman, who played Huck's father, was on "an all-scenery diet. Even his corpse chews the scenery somehow."
• Their confusion of the clash between the bouyant soundtrack and the fact that Huck is smearing hog's blood on the walls.
• Tony mocks Tom Sawyer's overly complicated plan to rescue Jim. "My ridiculously circuitous plan is one quarter complete!"
• After being highly critical about the movie, Madeline says that Huck smoking a pipe is "rad as fuck".
• They mock the plot point where Huck dresses as a girl but is exposed because he has a good throwing arm. Madeline, a trans woman, jokes that she found out she was really a woman when she threw a ball at a muskrat and missed. Suddenly, she found herself in a dress, holding a pony and a GIR doll, with glitter on her face, and knowing which Sex and the City character she was.
  Tony: Congratulations, here's your estrogen.
  Madeline: If only it were that easy.
• Tony admits that Madeline has made him question liking the movie.
  Chris: Maddie wins!
  Madeline: One of us! One of us!
• Tony points out that this movie didn't make it into the "Celebrate Black Stories" tab on Disney Plus, which includes Kazaam and both Sister Act movies.

State of the Parks Minisode - January 20, 2021

• Jerk says using Disneyland as a supervaccination site is a great idea. They can keep the vaccines refrigerated right next to Walt's frozen corpse while Cast Members are already good at managing long lines while getting disabled people to the front.

The Cat from Outer Space

• One of Tony's patrons requested this for Patron Request Month, saying "It's definitely a movie."
• Doggans remembers a How I Met Your Mother joke where The '80s didn't make it to Canada until 1994 and says that describes Disney between Walt and Eisner perfectly.
• They mock a character described as an "off-beat physicist." As opposed to what? An on-beat physicist? A beat physicist?
• Morgan, who picked this episode for Guest's Choice, declares "I apologize for nothing!" right before they watch the movie.
• With Joe Biden replacing Donald Trump at the Hall of Presidents, Tony imagines outraged Trump supporters staging an insurrection at Country Bear Hall.
• Alessandra suggests that she and Dave reference this movie in their vow renewals.
• They mock the Wall of Text opening credits and pity the small-time actors who didn't get a chance to see themselves on the big screen because their faces were covered by their own names.
• Both Colonels from M*A*S*H appear in this movie. Dave imagines that this movie is the Hell that Colonel Blake ended up in after being shot down.
• They say the UFO looks like a sex toy.
• When the cat first used his time-freezing powers, Tony thought Disney Plus was buffering because they do nothing but literally stop the movie.
• They mock a scene where a man flies but you can still see the wires. This came out the same year as Superman: The Movie.
• They point out that the movie has a scene where an alien makes a bike fly but, unlike the iconic scene from ET The Extraterrestrial, this was just a dull scene where the bike barely clears the gate. Tony points out this is the perfect microcosm of the difference in creativity between Disney and Steven Spielberg.
• Tony calls Morgan the world's only Cat From Outer Space stan. She has analyzed and dissected the movie like it's Star Wars. Morgan again shouts "I apologize for nothing!"
• They have a lot of fun with the movie's many uses of the term "pussy", including the phrase "Playing with your pussycat."
• Dave mocks the cat for complaining about being isolated on a spaceship for five whole months.
• The gang sincerely praises some impressive aerial stuntwork that couldn't be faked with the technology at the time and then note that these stunt performers are risking their lives for a movie called The Cat From Outer Space. Imagine the obituary for a stuntman who died shooting The Cat From Outer Space.

The Country Bears

• Tony starts the podcast with an advertisement for Godiva Goldmark collection of chocolates, playing it completely straight for several minutes before revealing that it's not an actual paid advertisement and he has no connection to the company. He just wanted to talk about it because the name is the same.
• Tony introduces the podcast by saying it's been 10 years since his first Some Jerk with a Camera episode before remarking on how old they all are. David says he's just a stuffed head mounted on the wall, Morgan introduces herself with a loooong sigh of exasperation, and Charlie showcases just a "little more enthusiasm" with a deadpan "Yay."
• Tony once said that he made Windows Movie Maker his "bitch" on the That Guy With The Glasses forums.^note Windows Movie Maker is often criticized for being a basic program with few features
• Morgan's sigh when Tony remembers Michael Bennett describing himself as the Gordon Ramsay of the TGWTG forums, complete with Brutal Honesty. Tony later calls Bennett The Pete Best of their friend group since he moved away from Southern California.
• Tony points out how they reminisce about spending over a year making their early videos as if they don't still do that.
• Tony jokes that someday he'll review the Disneyland vaccination tents. "They don't fit theming at all!"
• Tony says that when he spends weeks watching a bad movie for a review, he develops a sort of Stockholm Syndrome where he gains a newfound appreciation for it. This happened for Country Bears and the ABC episodes he reviewed but not ''Escape from Tomorrow."
  Tony: I still hate that piece of shit!
• The movie's DVD extras are written as if the Country Bears are a real band and the movie is a biopic of their lives. However, Tony points out that while one of the "bears" is giving an interview, an empty costume will be shown in the background, giving the impression that one of their actors just died on set.
• Dave's bit of Fridge Horror that, by marketing themselves as a "bear" act in a universe where sentient bears coexist with humans, the Country Bears are basically a minstrel act. Tony says that Barry's brother is a racist who probably grew up to join the January 6, 2021 riots at the US Capitol Building.
• Tony remembers being a fanboy of "Weird Al" Yankovic much like Barry was to the Country Bears. He'd often interrupt conversations with random Weird Al trivia and relate every school project back to Weird Al to the point where teachers thought something was wrong with him.
• Dave says that Haley Joel Osment sounds more like Christopher Walken in this movie than Christopher Walken.
• They remember Doug Walker's joke about Walken's line "This isn't over (beat) BEARS!" at the end as if he'd just realized there were bears in the movie. Tony says he didn't mention it because he didn't want to overtly ride Walker's coattails. Until the The Sorcerer's Apprentice review.
• Tony relates an anecdote about Elton John's time on the movie. One of the bears malfunctions, causing its lower bear to droop down and to the side. John says "Looks like me when I've had too much blow."
• Tony's mother, a friend of Roger McGuinn, reacts to Byrds music being used in the movie. "Well, at least Roger made some money off this."
• Morgan compares the filmmakers to someone trying to save a sinking ship by turning it into a submarine and just heading for the bottom.

Earth Live

• They say the title sounds like either a flashy Broadway musical show or a horror movie about dirty zombies.
• They mock the fact that a 2017 movie uses "in full color" as a selling point by acting like old-fashioned filmmakers amazed at color technology.
• Tony describes the movie as a nature documentary filtered through Sports Center or Election Night coverage. Cassie calls it a belabored live stream. Zach says watching it felt like sitting in a dentist's waiting room.
• Luke says that, in nature documentaries, only about two percent of what they shoot is useful so the concept behind this movie was to have fifty-some cameras all over the world so that at any point, one of them must be shooting something interesting.
• Zach points out that every cinematographer gets a big, fancy introduction as if they're all going to get into a ring and fight to the death.
• Luke says their attempts to sensationalize a nature documentary sounds like a Monty Python sketch. They then cut to Tony, who's watching a dead stick bug. Next is Zach, who insists that they take more time talking about him, the cameraman. Then Cassie who has found literally nothing but did record some lemurs earlier.
• Cassie proposes a drinking game for every time the movie says they're showing you something "live". Even when there's a caption that says "previously recorded."
  • Jane Lynch's reaction to them showing previously recorded footage of badgers fucking. "Oh, so we're choosing to show this."
• Tony says one of the experts studied badger shit for five years. Not badger stuff. Literal badger shit.
  Scientist: I didn't have that many girlfriends.
  Tony: You fucked a badger, didn't you.
• One guy recording the sharks says "I don't have any protection." Tony interprets that exactly how you'd expect him to. He then imagines that, after the long intro, they cut back and there's nothing there but a bloody torso in the water.
  Luke: That's how the Python sketch would've ended.
• Luke says how a biologist taunting crocodiles with a rubber tube meant for measuring their jaw strength reminded him of a standup comedy routine about Jacques Cousteau taking on a giant squid.
• Luke's impression of Phil Keoghan eagerly hoping for an "animal snuff film."
• Cassie's spiel about how dangerous hippos are. "Hippos will ruin your entire fucking day." She ends with "Stigmatize hippos!" after a bit where she called for the destigmatization of sharks.
  Luke: I'm getting hungry hungry. You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry hungry.
• They reimagine one of the hosts as a supervillain after he says "Tonight animals take over the earth. Just as it should be."
• They imagine how the inventor of a drone meant to collect humpback whale mucus specimens must feel to have his invention nicknamed "The Snot Bot." Zach points out he'll probably get turned into Mysterio someday.
• Several of the animals seem to give an Aside Glance, as if saying they're fed up with being followed around by all these annoying humans.

Bonus Minisode! March Will Be Muppet Month!

• Tony includes some outtakes from the Country Bears podcast in which everyone does their best impression of Christopher Walken's "Oh no! Country Bear Hall has been crushed!" He says Morgan's sounds more like Tommy Wiseau.

Clouds

• Josh describes this episode as "Middle Aged People Yell At Clouds."
• Their This Is Gonna Suck reaction when they realize the movie is based on a true story about a guy who has cancer.
• When the main character's song is described as "viral", Josh jokes that it's not just viral, it's terminal.
• Tony proposes a movie with a similar premise based on Logan Whitehurst. Someone proposes Scarlett Johansson. Another proposes John Mulaney, regardless of what age Logan is in each scene. They'll just hang a sign on his neck saying what age he is.
• Tony, after worrying he's going to make some enemies with his opinion due to the movie's subject matter, says the movie sucks. Kyle is relieved Tony said so.
• MarzGurl calls it a secular version of a Christian movie.
• They make fun of the song "Clouds" itself for being milquetoast and mediocre. Tony compares it to "This Song" by Paul and Storm while Josh says it reminds him of the music that would play on the radio while he bagged groceries.
• Tony's first note on the entire movie. "It opens with a shot of clouds and the clouds form the word 'Clouds.' Strap the fuck in, motherfuckers." Kyle wonders what they'd do if Zach's hit song was called "Beef."
• At the end, there's a photo with all Zach's friends and a cloud shaped like a Z in the background. Kaylyn says that Ultraman Z must've shown up while Tony jokes that God is Zorro.
• Kaylyn makes fun of Josh's love for women in glasses and apologizes for still being able to see.
• Kyle says he's triggered by the sight of any red hat now.
• Tony is confused by the existence of Christian Rock when Christians already have Gospel Music, which is awesome and inextricably Christian. Kaylyn then discusses how churches are trying to be hip by having their own rock bands.
• They mock a scene dedicated to one rather innocuous mean Youtube comment the song got.
• They mock the Totally Radical parts of the movie that were clearly written by older people imagining what teenagers were like. Teens in The New '10s listen to a Sum 41 song and one of them crushes on Tom Hanks from Big.
• The irony of the main character saying "I don't want to be a sob story" in a movie that's about 50% crying.

Dinosaurs - S1E8 "I Never Ate For My Father"

• Cody Clark appears on the show in-character as Gerald and the gang celebrates that they have "puppet representation" during Muppets Month.
• This exchange
  Tony: What's the difference between Baby Sinclair and a traditional Muppet?
  Emily: No fur.
  Gerald: Visible legs
  Morgan: A crippling lack of charm.
• Morgan's Brutal Honesty regarding the Dinosaurs. Despite her childhood love of dinosaurs, she thought that these dinosaurs were ugly, mean, and stupid.
• Emily sings "Dinosaurs!" to the tune of "Hooray for Hollywood."
• Tony's response to Universal opening another Harry Potter land in the "State of the Parks" segment. "You really want more TERF on your turf?!"
• After watching the episode, the first thing Tony says is "That was some interesting fetish porn."
• They discuss how carnivore and herbivore are code on the show for straight and gay.
  Emily: He's probably omni, I'm just saying.
• "BEG FOR MERCY, COLE SLAW!"^note Emily's reference to a joke where Charlene opens the fridge and all the prey animals inside scream. She wishes she could do that to her food.
• Tony mentions "vore porn" and Emily tells Gerald to put his fingers in his ears. Morgan says someone must've had an awakening during that episode.
• Emily says she had a crush on the character Robbie and Gerald calls her a scaly.
  Morgan: Everyone's a little bit scaly!
• Tony's "There are only two genders: basketball and meat!"
• Emily's idea for "What's the Attraction?", where she proposes a ride through the giant swamp dinosaur's digestive system.
  Morgan: This better not awaken anything in me.
  Emily: Oh, I hope it does.

The Muppet Show S3E15 - "Lesley Ann Warren"

• Tony jokes about how Kevin's overzealous fans tried to get him onto the Muppet Month shows by throwing bricks through his window and leaving a bloody Kermit head in his bed.
• Michael Hunter remembers a story of going to school right next to a Jim Henson studio. One time he saw them carrying the Big Bird costume out of the studio in segments, as if they'd hunted him and brought him back for meat.
  Michael: We feast tonight!
  Kevin: They're sending Caroll Spinney a message!
  Kyle: That's who they brought out next!

Muppets Most Wanted

• Kit complains about still being tethered to this dimension.
  Tyler: Kit? Who's doing this to you?
• Tony describes the movie as the plot of Cars 2 done right.
• Tony's many Take Thats to Ricky Gervais, who he used to admire but has since become "a sad parody of himself."
• Everyone says how much better the world would be if the movie had been a hit. Cured cancer, flying cars, no war, no poverty, no COVID, and Trump wouldn't have been President.
• Tony says Kermit the Frog caused the September 11 attacks, a reference to a 2002 It's a Wonderful Life Muppets parody where Kermit wishes he was never born and they use a stock New York City skyline with the World Trade Center intact.

The Muppet Show S4E18 - "Christopher Reeve"

• The appearance of "Sam Eagle" as a Moral Guardian here to make sure the podcast remains free of profanity and nudity.
  • The guys reveal that they're all naked and Tony's so naked he even took off some of his skin.
  • Sam Eagle is an anti-masker. Tony points out that not wearing a mask is a form of nudity.
• Luke claims there are two versions of the podcast, the one that exists now and a "Ryan Hipp Cut" that is eight hours long and will be released five years later but only if you harass enough people to get it.
  Luke: Because if there's one thing content creators like, it's getting harassed to make new content. Right Tony?
  Tony: Just makes my dick grow another inch every time it happens.
• The Running Gag where Sam adds and deducts points for the podcast.
  • Tony apologizes to "Sam" for his vulgar language. Sam responds that the podcast is now at negative fifty points.
  • They fall to negative sixty points but mentioning "Muppet Rambo" gets them back up to positive ten.
• There's a scene where Miss Piggy's dressing room is wall-to-wall Superman memorabilia. Tony says how nice it was for Ryan to let them film in his bedroom.
• Sam and Tony debate whether William Shakespeare is American or Canadian.
• They discuss whether Bunsen and Beaker being hinted at being a couple is workplace sexual harassment. They point out the power imbalance and Tony says maybe Beaker is into "Mee-mee-mee-mee-DSM."

The Emperor's New Groove

• Their discussion of The Sweatbox, the documentary of the movie's Troubled Production. Tony says the documentary was so embarrassing that Disney buried it in the vault next to Song of the South and "that documentary where they killed all those lemmings."
• While discussing the movie's Troubled Production, Tony points out that Kuzco was originally called Manco until someone points out that manko is a Japanese term for genitalia. He speculates that this person was an anime fan.
• They mention the movie was almost an early role for a pre-fame Owen Wilson.
  Luke: Fortunately, he got another chance in the beloved Cars franchise that Tony loves so much.
• Their discussion of Mark Dindal, the director of the movie who worked his way up from drawing lots and lots of bubbles in The Little Mermaid (1989).
• Regarding The Sweatbox, Luke says "I don't care where the stuff I love comes from! I just love the stuff I love!"
• Luke remembers a Reddit discussion where someone praises Yzma's character design and some "goober" mistakes it for sexual attraction. Tony says that Yzma was definitely attractive when she was younger.
• Luke remembers how while working on Mighty Magiswords, Kyle got so annoyed at the notes he received that he just improvised nonsense with lots of Buffy Speak, Lampshade Hanging, and Biting-the-Hand Humor.
  Luke as Kyle: "Let's do the thing with stuff!" That's the line? Yes, that's the line! We're moving on!
• Tony says the scene where Pacha explains the concept of empathy to Kuzco is so realistic, he's certain someone in the writing staff had an unrepentant narcissist in their family.
  Tony: You just want to fucking scream at them eventually! I don't know how else to tell you that you should care about people other than yourself! You know how when you go outside you see all those lumps of flesh and clothing walking around? Those are called "other people" and they're not just robots programmed to make The Matrix more realistic! You're not fucking Neo!
• Tony says you can never trust someone who makes declarative positive statements about themselves. Luke then plugs his music at "The Great Luke Ski dot com".
• Tony says his ex-wife made him sit through Dune (1984) three times and, even if you put a gun to his head, he couldn't tell you what that movie was about. He remembers nothing about it except that Sting is almost naked in it.
• Lindsay Smith's bafflement at The '90s' obsession with Riverdance, which now seems as dated as Shrek's inclusion of the Macarena.
• Tony points out that the screenplay for the movie technically wasn't finished until after the movie was in theaters. The animators went off storyboards instead of a proper script. A bunch of interns took disorganized script pages, wrote interstitials, and slapped screenwriter David Reynolds' name on it so that Disney archives could have it for record-keeping purposes.

Spider-Man (1981) Episode 18 - "The Capture of Captain America"

• Il Neige notes that the episode title before this is "The Canon of Doom". Not cannon, but canon. He imagines Spider-Man and Doctor Doom sitting around debating what's canon in Star Wars.
• Their parody Spider-Man theme song to the tune of "Hooray for Hollywood", complete with a Precision F-Strike.
• They mock an in-universe propaganda film starring Captain America.
  • The film is made by "Democracy Pictures", which Tony says sounds like something MST3K would make fun of.
  • They point out that the film basically forced Cap to reenact all the most traumatic moments of his life, including the moment he was frozen.
  • They call the Red Skull Cap's greatest enemy, implying that Hitler was just some nobody.
• They point out that, in this timeline, Jameson was probably a child during World War II and he somehow grew up thinking that his Hitler mustache was perfectly fine.
• At one point, Jameson does the Pelosi Clap.
• Dave compares Red Skull playing with a Captain America action figure to Dark Helmet.
  • Then he snaps off the toy's head and Tim wishes they would reveal a pile of heads on the floor. Tony says "OH NO! CAPTAIN AMERICA HAS BEEN CRUSHED!"
• The guys laugh at Spidey using the word "piker" and Tim, the oldest person on the show, says that even in 1981 that would've been considered Totally Radical.
• Tony says Red Skull's "Skull Ship" looks like a big red dick. Garrett imagines that this is what the Asset's dick looks like.
• Jameson calls Spider-Man, among other things, a "sellout" as if he'd just signed with a major record label.
• They mock Spidey's plan to rescue Cap: Steal a Halloween costume of Captain America, pretend to be Cap, conveniently find a pilot who doesn't know Cap has been kidnapped, then fly around randomly until they find Red Skull's castle.
• Red Skull's plan is to switch his brain with Captain America, allowing the Nazi to pretend to be a symbol of patriotism. Tony says this is basically what happened to the Republican Party.
• Red Skull's assistant wanted the brain-switching device to be used for good...somehow.
• While discussing Red Skull's well-intentioned scientist assistant, Garrett makes a joke about the Hiroshima and Nagasaki atomic bombings.
  Tony: Oh God.
  Garrett: What, too soon?
• They discuss the bizarre standards that kids' shows were bound by. They couldn't show Cap and Spidey actually beating up other people but they could show them executing Red Skull by putting him in the brain-switching device without anyone in the other chair, basically dispersing his mind into the ether while leaving his corpse behind.
• Cap says he'll suggest Jameson declare "Spider-Man Day." Tony says Spider-Man doesn't need One More Day.

Pixar Popcorn and other shorts (Includes Legend of Mor'du, Party Central, Riley's First Date?, Auntie Edna, and Pixar Popcorn)

• Haley announces herself with "Hello, proletariat!"
• Taking the show's title literally, Tony claims he's been locked in a vault for 48 episodes and his cohosts are just starvation-induced hallucinations.
• Tony's Take That! to conservatives who declare all criticism to be "cancel culture". In the name of free speech, he imagines all criticism to be banned and his podcast being turned into a conservative Christian cooking show.
  Tony: Mr. Potato Head's penis will be avenged.
• After they're done watching, the short films are Damned by Faint Praise.
  Tony: That was certainly a bunch of stuff.
  Kevin: I would also describe it as stuff.
• Tony says Legend of Mor'du is an origin story for the Country Bears and says the witch from Brave must have a fetish for turning people into bears because she's done it twice.
• Tony expresses (sarcastic) amazement that John Lasseter would create "Party Central", a short where the male frat boys kidnap women to go to their party.
• Charlie says that Hellgate in "Party Central" is the most metal thing Pixar has ever animated.
• Kevin imagines "Riley's First Date" was written by trapping every straight person at Pixar in a room and just having them say whatever pops into their head.
  Kevin: It's just so straight.
  Tony: The straightest thing to happen in San Francisco.
• The gang cringes at Riley's mom's use of slang so hard that Tony calls the character a "digital Karen."
• The hosts wonder if kids these days still form bands rather than just posting music to Soundcloud. Haley is confident that San Francisco hipster kids will try to form garage bands purely because they're not popular any more.
• Kevin imagines Pixar just has a computer file called "Ellen Degeneres' Wondrous Grunts."
  Haley: That's my Five Finger Death Punch cover band.
• Haley says "Soul of the City" is basically a screensaver. Tony compares it to ASMR.
• For the "What's the Attraction" segment, Charlie imagines a "Pixar Popcorn" popcorn stand with the X "ejaculating" popcorn.

The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again (with Linkara!)

• Linkara starts by looking through the Disney Plus suggestions accompanying the movie and saying how much he'd rather watch them.
• The "State of the Parks" segment is just Tony gushing over the announcement of "Muppets Haunted Mansion."
• Josh says the movie is like Harold & Kumar without the whimsy. Tony says it's what a Mel Brooks movie would be if it weren't about anything. Lewis says the movie just made him want to watch Tombstone.
• MarzGurl's exaggerated Texan accent.
• Josh says David Harper does a "Frankenstein kaiju impersonation."
• Josh says Don Knotts is dressed like "Willy Wonka as a pimp."
• "SERGEANT SLAUGHTER VERSUS THE APPLE DUMPLING GANG, THIS SUNDAY AT WRESTLEMANIA!"
• They wonder why Martha^note WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?! never seems to look at anyone while talking. Is she blind? Is she just rude? Is the actress reading cue cards and they just did a poor job of hiding it?

Go Figure

• The description of the movie is so formulaic that the guests start making predictions of what will happen. Eventually Madeline declares they don't even need to watch the movie.
  • After the movie, they realize that except for the presence of a Gasshole character, all their predictions came true.
• Madeline says the movie's theme music composer is named Kenneth Burgomaster.
• Tony mocks Chris for worrying about spoilers in a movie that's so formulaic.
• Madeline says watching the movie felt like watching a murder and doing nothing, making them all culpable.
  Sydney: What could anyone have done?
  Madeline: That's what I tell the police.
• Tony's reaction to the line "I guess some things never change. Fortunately, I did."
  Tony: No one who's not an egotistical piece of shit says shit like that!
• The movie has so many subplots that Chris refers to the protagonist's brother building a robot as the "Z-plot" while Madeline won't even dignify it with a letter.
• Tony mocks the robot standing in front of a Zamboni like it's Tiananmen Square.
• They realize that this movie came out the same year as Ice Princess, another Disney movie about figure skating that involves a math nerd. They imagine Disney accidentally rented out the ice rink for twice as much time as they needed and Michael Eisner told them to just make another movie.
• "There's nothing better than hockey players fighting and children fighting!"
• Their genuine love of the protagonist's two figure-skating coaches, who are better parents than her actual parents. Sydney says they seem like a woman who married her Gay Best Friend to keep him safe.
• Madeline says the movie makes her want to vomit, drink her vomit, and vomit again.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

• "EVERYBODY WHITE!"
• Zach's "Gyllenhaal does sound like the name of a factory where they make white people."
• Zach worries he's being racist for constantly comparing this film to Aladdin until there's a scene of the Prince reaching down to the Princess and saying "Do you trust me?"
• "You get a British accent! You get a British accent!"
• "Man I'm so Zen right now. You wanna go fuck up some Crusaders?"^note Zach's impression of a stoned Assassin, referencing the common myth that they would smoke pot before killing someone.
• Zach points out that Disney frequently uses the Bald of Evil. "Pan over to a picture of Bob Chapek!"
• This exchange
  Tony: Don't you just hate it when you wake up from a hangover and Alfred Molina on horseback is just there randomly spouting exposition at you?
  Morgan: I'm like "Aw, is it Tuesday again?"
• "Alfred Molina has definitely fucked that ostrich."
• "Can I get 'What's the point if you're not going to fuck that ostrich?' on a T-shirt, please?"
• "#ReleaseTheDaggerUpTheButtholeCut!"
• Zach's "We gotta do What's The Attraction? I burned up all my creativity on a Dastan song."

Buffalo Dreams

• The whole group's reaction when Tony reads the movie's description, which involves a White Male Lead going on a Native American Vision Quest.
• Tony asks why they spend time on a Training Montage for a bicycle race when they could just fill themselves with steroids and lose a testicle to cancer. "Easy-peasy!"
• Cody and Emily get distracted attempting to appraise the vintage bike the protagonist gets at the end.
  Tony: I think we're burying the lede that a magic thrift store shows up in the last fifteen minutes!
• Janelle accidentally turned on the Spanish dub and went a long time before realizing it wasn't just part of the movie.
• Tony's reaction to the movie having so many scenes of Josh, the teenage protagonist, bathing. "Are we on a watchlist?"
• Janelle says that the budget for the movie was $5 million. Tony says it seems high and Emily speculates that $3 million went to licensing the song "Lean On Me."
• Janelle says she suddenly got really tired watching the movie.
  Janelle: I was just sitting here and suddenly my whole body got tired. Is this what Disney Channel original movies do to you?
  Tony: Oh yes! Every time.
  Cody: They sap your life force.
• "I almost said 'This ain't it, chief' but then I stopped myself."

Fantastic Four: The Animated Series - S1E3 - "Now Comes the Sub-Mariner"

• Tony hypes up Ian Bond and Devo Spice with elaborate introductions detailing their long bodies of work but says he only does that for newcomers. Afterwards, his intros will be nothing but names and locations.
• "Aqua-Douche".
• Tony calls Whitehall from Jungle Cruise "Disney's eighteenth or nineteenth first gay character (TM)."
• This exchange
  "Now we know what it would look like if Captain Planet made fetish porn!"
  "Butts, butts, butts!"
• They bluntly call Namor a rapist. He uses pollution to justify declaring war on the surface world but is really just using that threat to force Sue to stay with him in Atlantis.
  Tony: "Namor is if Brock Turner was an even better swimmer."
• They mock the title "Now Comes the Sub-Mariner" in light of Namor's Stripperiffic outfit.
• "I own this! ''Why do I own this?!"^note One of the guests owns the episode on DVD and watched it there
• "Do not attempt to adjust your TV set. It's just a Saban show from The '90s."^note They mock the wavy effect they put over some of the underwater shots
• They mock the theme song for being "left over from the 70's" and are baffled when they learn that the legendary Giorgio Moroder made it.
• One of the guests says he'll see the Fantastic Four as Mount Rushmore in his nightmares.
• Namor calls Johnny a "fiery manchild."
  "You just met him! How are you that accurate?"
• "I find eel-throwing so stimulating."
• "Namor and Reed are having a casual conversation while holding a corpse! On a children's show!"
• A guest says Reed sounds constipated while he's thinking, as if he's pushing out "a rock of a turd."
• The villain is dropped off in a prison. Which apparently has a swimming pool.
  Tony: "Thanks, Biden!"
• One of the guests says he hopes the MCU doesn't put Namor in his traditional Stripperiffic costume. Another answers "Depends on who you ask" in an exaggerated "gay" voice.
• Tony calls the episode an animated The Shape of Water.
• Tony's "Finding Namor, Sub-mariner Voyage", where he kidnaps you and threatens to destroy Disneyland unless you sleep with him.
  "Is he going to touch me in my no-no place?"
  "He's going to touch you in all your no-no places as well as a few yes-yes places."

BONUS MINISODE! State of the Parks: Galactic Starcruiser costs HOW much?

• Tony points out that the upcoming Disney Star Wars hotel is so expensive that anyone traveling on the "Galactic Cruise Ship Halcyon" would be the kinds of people Rose Tico would hate.

D2: The Mighty Ducks

• Kit's first words on the podcast.
  Kit: I have no idea what I'm doing here.
  Others: One of us! One of us!
• Tony compares the movie to The Bad News Bears but for pee-wee hockey.
  Luke: And a lot less problematic content
• Luke explains to Kit what hockey is.
  Luke: See ice is what happens when water gets really cold and then they use a Zamboni to make it flat. And then you put knives on your feet, your ankle gets broken, and you never do it again.
  Kit: So ducks with knives on ice. I'm for it.
• Tony says NBA Commissioner Adam Silver looks like a bad wax figure of Jeffrey Katzenberg.
• "There's a disturbing amount of bondage in this movie."
• The movie's history teacher describes America, a relatively young country, as a teenager. Luke says that nowadays, America is an entitled adult. Then he and Tony debate whether America was more like a troubled teen or a gifted, precocious teen.
• They realize a young Kenan Thompson is in the movie. "This was back when he was just OK Burger."
• They mock the obviously white writers trying to write a black character, peppering in terms like "G" and adding sirens over a pretty nice area to make it into "the hood."
  Luke: So which of those street hockey kids grew up to be Killmonger?
• Tony relates a real-life story of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar doing the movie Airplane! for $30,000 just so he could buy a $30,000 rug.
  Tony: And then Michael Jordan comes in and pisses on it.
  Luke: This is the best Space Jam prequel ever!
• Brianna calls out the movie's hypocrisy for denouncing corporate sponsorships while having ads for Coca-Cola and Little Caesar's in the background.
• The coach chides the players for bringing violence into hockey. He also reminds them that they're representing America.
  Tony: Dude, being a violent psychopath is representing America.
• Luke wonders if there's a Mighty Ducks porn parody because phrases like Flying V, Knuckle Puck, and We Will Quack You pretty much require it. Then Tony pauses the show and interjects that there is, in fact, a D2 porn parody called DP2: The Mighty Phucks.
• Tony remembers the flume ride at the Mall of America. At the end of the tunnel there's a hole where all you can see outside is the sign for the mall's Hooters.

Loki (2021) S1E3 "Lamentis"

• "Disney Plus, Plus, Plus, Plus, Plus, Plus…"
  • Brianna keeps going for a solid two minutes.

The Simpsons S4E17 — "Last Exit to Springfield"

• Tony predicts in "What's the Attraction?" that Disney would plan a re-theme of Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage into a Yellow Submarine ride, as a tie-in with The Beatles: Get Back, only to realize that they still don't own Yellow Submarine. At the last minute, they'd instead decide to re-theme the ride after the parody Lisa dreams up while under the influence of laughing gas. Once the dream ends, Grandpa Simpson would deliver his Rambling Old Man Monologue about wearing an onion on his belt, then direct guests to a shop where they could buy their own onions.

Muppets Haunted Mansion

• Count Jackula's very first words on the podcast "I'm going to kill you."
• Count Jackula says Muppets from Space is his favorite Muppet movie because aliens visit during a dance party, which he has personal experience with.
• Madeleine theorizes that after firing Steve Whitmire, they deliberately hired someone who doesn't sound like Kermit at all just to spite him.
• When they see Kermit dressed as Piggy and Piggy dressed as Kermit, they theorize they're using those costumes for weird sex stuff.
• They have a lot of fun with the term "Double Death"^note Due to Ed Asner's death, they speculate that his ghost character died again when an opera singer shatters a glass he's holding.
  Madeleine: Family Double Death!
  Luke: I'd like to go to KFC and get the Double Death.
• The Great Luke Ski says his name is actually an homage to the Great Gonzo, but nobody gets it and they all think he's just a narcissist.
• Luke mentions that in Muppet Babies (2018), Statler and Waldorf are their next door neighbors and still riff on everything the Muppets do.
  Tony: So they're just old men who like to watch children all day?
• This exchange:
  Jack: Prostate stimulation's a thing kids!
  (Awkward silence)
  Madeleine: Well, you don't have to tell me that.
• When they discuss the closing credits featuring the King Harvest song "Dancing in the Moonlight", Madeline asks if the song was ever featured in a Guardians of the Galaxy movie. Tony says no, but everyone comments how it could be a great fit. Cut to post-recording Tony adding a note because he discovered that James Gunn stated he gets this song requested more than any other song by a landslide, and he will never include it in a ''Guardians'' film because of it.
• Jack has trouble with the "What's the Attraction" segment because there's no idea so good that Disneyland can't fuck it up. He then goes into a rant about Dole whip, which now use cheap canned pineapple and Dixie cups instead of sundae cups.
  • Jack then says Disney will make Piggy a Disney Princess and add a body-positivity message, which he thinks would be good if done "earnestly" but bad because they'd be doing it for the wrong reasons.
  Madeleine: Jack, I'm sorry to say this but what the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck was anything you just said? I feel like I had a stroke listening to that.

Viking Warrior Women

• Making fun of the Viewers Are Morons/Viewers Are Goldfish tendencies the special has, Tony and Ryan have a ton of fun impersonating the voice and tone whenever the narrator says "Forensic evidence shows...". This includes imagining what it would be like if the podcast was structured that way, and even introducing "What's the Attraction?" the same way.

Roger Rabbit Shorts

• Sidney says Jessica Rabbit was her "bisexual awakening" and that she initially mistook that for wanting to be her. Tony remembers a previous episode where a young Randee thought she wanted to "be friends" with various female Disney Channel stars because she didn't know what "gay" was yet.
• They do a mock "What's the Attraction?" segment for The Silence of the Lambs. Tony says it would probably be an eatery rather than a ride.
• They spend so much of the intro talking about their attraction to Jessica Rabbit that Tony calls it the "Jessica Rabbit Thirst Podcast."
• Kyle's "Not A Burger Stand" story, where he'd draw a cartoon character or celebrity on a chalkboard and give discounts to whoever ordered in their voice. They'd also give free meals if the actual celebrity or character's actor showed up. Charles Fleischer actually did show up and posted a photo of the sign on Instagram.
• Tony recounts stories of Fleischer actually dressed up in a rabbit costume to play Roger Rabbit.
  • They play clips of Fleischer jokingly lamenting he did three years of acting school and did Shakespeare and now he's playing a rabbit.
  • Lou Hirsch looked at him and immediately refused to wear a diaper (He played Baby Herman).
  • Roger Rabbit filmed in the same studio as Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. Superman crew members would see the rabbit costume and snicker about how that film would be a disaster. Superman Four!
• Kyle recalls a story Bill Kopp, an animator relocated to Disney MGM studios told him about living in the lodging Disney provided for them. The animator had a cat that gave birth and he had to explain a massive bloodstain in the apartment.
• Tony says the Magic Bands make the parks look like a "forced happiness prison camp where they only keep the shackles on one arm as a warning."
• Luke says people should make more fast-paced comedic cartoons instead of complaining about fast pacing on the internet.
  Kyle: Luke, as usual, you are about as subtle as a wet fart.

Prep & Landing

• In the "State of the Parks" section, Tony calls Walt Disney a union-busting, commie-hating capitalist who didn't give a shit about poor people, didn't want EPCOT residents to have property or voting rights, and stopped the Sherman Brothers from donating their "it's a small world" royalties to UNICEF.
  Tony: Happy 120th birthday, by the way, Walt. Sorry I forgot to get you a present.
• Disney's Genie app crashed and forced Disney to give out refunds and front-of-the-line passes for free. Tony speculates that the ghost of Robin Williams sabotaged the app as revenge for further corruption of his character.
• They describe one of the voice actors as "store brand Patrick Warburton."
• The character Wayne walks around ordering female coworkers to go on dates with him. Tony wonders if the character was based on John Lasseter, who got "MeToo'd."
  Tony: He got Me Yuled.
  Others: Boooo!
  Tony: I accept your boos and I'm proud of them.
• They note that Santa's sled is called "Rosebud." Does that make him Charles Candy Kane?

High School Musical: The Musical: The Holiday Special

• While making fun of the title's Colon Cancer, they warn the listener not to Google "double colon." Or do, they won't judge.
• Tony remembers a snooty girl from his high school drama class who insisted that there was a "wall" between them. Tony played along and, when the teacher told them to work together, he said he couldn't because of the wall.
• The special reminds them of an old Onion video about Disney genetically engineering the perfect child stars.
• The cast members say such generically sweet things about the holidays and family togetherness, Tony wonders if any of these actors actually hate their families like normal teens. They imagine a Stage Mom off screen holding a belt threateningly.
• Tony says the Hanukkah music in the show was so bad it made him anti-Semitic.
• "Does she want to play with the dreidl or does she want to play with it?" ^note Chris mocks the show's weirdly sexualized rendition of "Dreidl, Dreidl."
• One singer sings "Last Christmas" to his car.
• One song transitions to an Imagine Spot where the singer goes from his backyard to a fancy theater, but due to COVID restrictions, the theater is empty. Even in his fantasy, there's no audience.
• The Jewish people on the show are baffled when one cast member says "I remember making gingerbread houses with my sisters but we used graham crackers because, again, [we are] Jews." As far as Tony knows, Judaism has no prohibition against gingerbread.
• The male teacher is so autotuned he sounds like "Michael Bublé fucked R2-D2."
• The male teacher says "I'm from (sigh) the happy, happy land of Louisiana."
• The female teacher shows a childhood photo of herself dressed up as Sebastian, making her one of Agatha's crab experiments.
• Chris wonders why this disposable special is on Disney Plus instead of the many better things that could be.
  Tony: Well, what's the point in removing it?
  Chris: Well, in theme park terms, they had nothing to replace it with.
• For "What's the Attraction?" Dave suggests Disneyland will let you spend a night with a Radiator Springs Car, but it will require a $1000 Lightning Lane pass.
• Dave says the episode will radiate "No, it's the children who are wrong" energy.
• The return of Carl Featherbottom at the end.

BONUS MINISODE! Muppets Haunted Mansion Outtakes

• "Cars 2 is actually a decent, funny movie if you pull your stick out of your ass." ^note Tony's internet went out due to a power outtage, so some of the outtakes are just the other guests talking amongst themselves. Luke Ski takes the opportunity to do a Hostile Show Takeover.
• Luke describes the outtakes as "Tony-less", Madeline butts in with "Please don't turn off! Please don't skip this!"
• Tony reveals he removed The Haunted Mansion (2003) from the randomizer for Halloween because he didn't want to force Jack to watch that movie a second time.
• Even Luke didn't like The Good Dinosaur.
• "Oh Art Clokey, we would never have Gumby if your mother hadn't abandoned you."
• Jack suggests that Clokey's biopic be directed by Ben Stiller because it's so dark and disturbing it's funny. He calls Clokey "God's Butt-Monkey."
• Their idea for Who Framed Roger Rabbit porn: Roger railing Eddie Valiant and a weasel while Jessica Rabbit is off to the side doing a crossword puzzle or something.
• Jack says how great it is to be a man because you can look someone in the eye and make them shit their pants. The others take this to some...interesting places.

2022 Episodes

BONUS MINISODE! More Outtakes!

• They briefly discuss The Lone Ranger and imagine going back in time to 2013 and saying that Johnny Depp in redface isn't the most problematic casting choice.^note Armie Hammer had several accusations of sexual abuse against him, and was also found to have a number of inappropriate DM's, including cannibal fantasies.
• Their theory on why Hilary Duff didn't "explode" the way Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez did: She had parents that cared about her.
• Ryan Hipp's overly-long stuttering, which Haley calls a "Jimmy Stewart impression."

Life with Mikey

• They discuss what separates this Touchstone movie from a typical Disney movie.
  Dave: They drop a "shit" early on.
  Tony: That comes off weird. And they drop an "asshole", which sounds even weirder.
• Everyone realizing that the bad child actor auditions probably aren't Bad "Bad Acting". The movie probably deliberately hired bad child actors and put their auditions in the movie to be laughed at.
• Angie, the lead child character, has stolen so many wallets that when she returns them, one victim played by Mandy Patinkin has to say "Not mine, not mine, not mine..."
  Chris: It's the one that says "Bad Motherfucker" on it.
• Even though Michael J. Fox is supposed to be the slob of the Odd Couple, Tony and Chris point out that his apartment is still nicer than several of the apartments they've been in, including their own.
• Tony wonders how many of the movies he's watched for the podcast will put him on some kind of watchlist after seeing a child actor in an Jeannie outfit.
• Mikey finds Angie's estranged father and tells him that she's been pretending he's been dead this whole time. When he's heartbroken, Mikey says "I'm sure she meant it in the best possible way." He's an agent to the very end.
• Both Mikey and Angie shoplift and are forgiven once people realize who they are. They point out the movie's Accidental Aesop, which is that wealthy celebrities are above the law.

Fancy Nancy Fancy It Yourself Shorts

• They mock the cheap animation style.
  Zach: I didn't know you could do 3D animation in MS Paint.
• The show is about "Training little JonBenét Ramseys. Minus the murder."
• Tony's first reaction after watching the movie.
  Tony: What are we doing with our lives? [...] I feel like all the teststosterone was drained out of my body. I'm going to need to drive a Humvee and get really into Zack Snyder movies just to recuperate.
• Charlie mocks how "intimately" the main character groomed her dog.
• Haley says they must have used footage of herself as a child for storyboard inspiration.
• Tony's "I've never cared about my personal appearance. I'm sure that's obvious for anyone who watches my videos."
• Haley contrasts the romanticized view of Paris and the reality that includes the stinky subway and the streakers at the Eiffel Tower.
• Their interpretation of Nancy as a Creepy Child. Zach says that the moments where Nancy talks wide-eyed to the camera remind him of the Jigsaw Killer. He later says Nancy often looks one moment away from a complete mental breakdown, prompting him and Charlie to turn several of her lessons into Madness Mantras.
• Haley calls glitter "craft herpes".

Hawkeye (2021) "So This Is Christmas?"

• When Tony introduces Haley, she says "The assassins failed again."
• When the gang discusses Hawkeye’s confession about Natasha’s Heroic Sacrifice, Zach launches into an epic Rambling Old Man Monologue version. Everyone is in stitches by the end.
  • He does it again at the end, this time for the rest of the MCU!
• When Echo is brought up, they talk about how difficult it is to cast her, as she’s a deaf Indigenous woman with an artificial leg. Cut to them learning that the show cast an actress who is exactly that.
• They point out that doing a musical about the Battle of New York would be like doing a musical about 9/11 in the real world. Probably with Rudy Giuliani in the Captain America role.
  Charlie: I can gaslight all day!
  Tony: Four Seasons Total Landscaping business in Philly!
  Haley: Stop And Frisk, it works just fine! Even though there's rising crime!

The Luck of the Irish

• Agatha's entry onto the show by cutting down Tony's apartment door with a chainsaw all while cackling insanely.
  Agatha: IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO FIND YOU, TONY GOLDMARK! DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA IS?!
  • Zack's completely blasé reaction to her appearance.
    Agatha: DID SOMEBODY SAY MY NAME?!
    Zach: Depends. What is your name?
  • Tony's anger at Agatha chainsawing down his door disappears the moment he learns the chainsaw was signed by Bruce Campbell.
  • Why did Agatha do this? Because she just watched a lot of slasher movies. Then she reveals she can't actually kill anyone because she has to stay at least six feet away from everyone.
• Both Agatha and Cassie were inspired to get into Irish dancing by the same Folger's commercial.
• Agatha calls the movie a disgrace to Irish culture and that if they did this with any other culture, it would be racist.
• They mock the phrase "luck of the Irish" in light of actual Irish history.
• The main characters' parents are suspiciously reluctant to say what their heritage is beyond "American."
  Dave: We should check where they were on January 6th.^note The date of an attempted right-wing insurrection at the US Capitol building aiming to stop the election of Joe Biden and install Donald Trump as President.
• The fact that a Disney Channel movie about leprechauns is more honest about America's history with bigotry and slavery than many modern-day history books.
• To find out more about his heritage, the main character Googles his surname...Johnson.
• Agatha's not sure what "Irish leather" is but she assumes it's the skin of an Englishman.

Miles from Tomorrowland S2E16 - Once In A Blue Moon/The Queen Gemma Dilemma (with Ron Schneider!)

• Ron Schneider's story about how he shoplifted from Disneyland as a teenager. He got pulled backstage by the "Fox Patrol" (plainclothes security) and kicked out of the park. He paid to get back in so his parents never found out. He also noticed there was no security backstage, so he would often poke his nose back there whenever he could.
• Haley calls the show "Boy Scouts IN SPACE!" She says it looks like Will Robinson and Russell ran into each other really fast.
• They mock the show's many attempts to force catch phrases.
  Ron: I'm a big fan of bad nomenclature. That's why I love Universal Studios.
• Their opinion of the show is So Okay, It's Average but Tony gives it extra points just for saying "Well played, Robo-Ostrich."
• Ron says the Figment cartoons from thirty years ago are the reason he doesn't watch Disney Junior.
• Haley says the father and uncle look like Charlie and Zach.
  Charlie: How did they get me in this movie? They already put me in Bao.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

• Sydney says Will and Elizabeth were her bisexual awakening.
• Sydney's father says Florida's Pirates ride was "Pirates of Half-A-Caribbean."
• They say Johnny Depp's post-Pirates typecasting was both a blessing and a curse. It was the actual Curse of the Black Pearl!
• Tony's coverage of the "Indianettes" controversy^note The cheerleading squad of a high school with an "Indian" mascot did a routine on Disney World's Main Street, complete with war whoops and references to scalping. Disney claimed they didn't know how problematic the group was, but they're called the "Indianettes".
  Tony: What did you think they were gonna do, wear fedoras, crack whips, and complain Country Bear Jamboree belongs in a museum?

Magic of Disney's Animal Kingdom S1E3 - Betty and the Beast (with Dave Cobb!)

• Garrett, a former Disneyland cast member, insists on saying he's "close personal friends with Goofy"^note The Disney code for theme park actors to avoid saying the characters are just people in costumes and is terrified when the others don't go along with the charade.
• Dave says that if you're at a Disney park, never touch Tigger's stomach because that's about where a man's crotch would be.
• Tony points out that the Men in Black ride and the E.T. ride are basically the same story but with the heroes and villains reversed. It's like a Rashomon ride.
• After remembering some of Disney's history with animals, Tony remarks that maybe photorealistic CGI animals aren't such a bad thing after all.

Encanto

• Luke Ski's first line is "Count Jackula, if you're listening to this, Madeline just looked at me and I shit my pants off."
• Tony and Madeline haven't seen Fresh Off the Boat (which Renie Rivas was on) so they imagine it's a dark reboot of Gilligan's Island starring Boaty McBoatface.
• Renie says she had a friend who threw an Encanto-themed birthday party for his niece. He was tall and had long hair but didn't dress as Bruno. "I didn't even go and I'm offended."

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir S4E11 - Rocketear

• At the end of the episode, Tony points out that in the entirety of the podcast up to this point, they have yet to review anything Star Wars-related, and decides to celebrate May the Fourth with a purely Star Wars-themed randomizer. Luke reads off the result:
  Luke: Star Wars.
  Tony: (beat) Star Wars what?
  Luke: Tony, when I was three years old, a movie came out and it was called Star Wars.
  Tony: Oh, Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope?
  Luke: There were no other stupid words! It was simply called Star Wars, Tony! STAR WARS!

A New Hope

• The entire concept of the podcast episode. It takes place in a universe in which the film was a Box Office Bomb, resulting in both the film and director George Lucas to fade into complete obscurity. This makes for an entire episode filled with hilarious moments of Leaning on the Fourth Wall, Dramatic Irony, and moments of sincerity that read off as absurd knowing what Star Wars as a franchise is today.
• In a world without Star Wars and thus Indiana Jones, Harrison Ford is described as a "90's action star", with them agreeing that Air Force One is his most iconic role.
• The only part they express large, unabashed admiration for is the John Williams score. That is, except for Charlie, who feels like he ripped off a bunch of pieces of classical music.
• The fact that they always refer to Han Solo and Obi Wan as "Harrison Ford" and "Alec Guinness".
• Tony wishes that they would make a plush of what they all describe as "Gorilla Bear", which is hilarious considering how merchandized Chewbacca is.
• As a Hand Wave to explain how they are watching it with the special edition changes, it is explained that, according to what was found in research, this is a 30th anniversary cut that included crude CGI George Lucas made on his home computer. He tried to sell it at conventions, but lack of interest made it unsuccessful.
• Tony applauds the movie for not sexualizing the Leia character and putting her in a skimpy outfit.
• Tony off-handedly says that Luke and Leia make a cute couple. No one reacts to this and the conversation immediately moves forward.
• After everyone gives the film a Disney Plus, Tony describes it as an overlooked gem.

BONUS MINISODE! Star Wars Episode Outtakes

• Since the previous episode took place in an alternate universe where the first Star Wars movie flopped and George Lucas left the film industry, Tony edited out jokes that were Leaning on the Fourth Wall a little too much. These jokes referenced Indiana Jones, midichlorians, and the Marfalump.
• Charlie Corpsing when Luke sarcastically says he has no emotional attachment to this obscure old movie and he's free to bash it as much as he wants.

BONUS MINISODE! Agatha Vs. Doggans

• The episode opens in the middle of an argument between Agatha and Doggans. She tells him he's lucky she forgot her chainsaw. But she brought a plasma cutter.
• The whole thing was set off because Doggans suggested eating at Red Lobster.

Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends S1E17 - The Bride of Dracula

• Dracula claims he sought out Luke to create a super-race of radioactive monsters.
  Tony: He wouldn't have been my first choice but you do you.
• Dracula's Berserk Button is a mention of Adam Sandler.
• Dracula claims he is the embodiment of every version of Dracula, including the parodies. When Tony asks if he's Edward Cullen, he indignantly threatens to go to another podcast.
• "Gilbert Gottfried" (Luke) tries to get onto the podcast but Tony beats him up and tells him to get back into his trunk.
• Apparently, vampires smell like Korean BBQ when they burn in the sun.
• Dracula claims there's a scene in the episode where Doctor Doom gets a prostate exam.
• There's a scene where Spider-Man and Iceman are riding on the outside of a plane.
  Luke: I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing Terrigen mist.
• Dracula turns Tony into a bat.
  Dracula: I wish you folks at home could have seen that.
• The multiple Draculas who all get invited in. How does Luke deal with them?
  Luke: Q*bert? Sic 'em! (sounds of crashing and screaming Draculas ensue)

Luca (with Linkara and Viga!)

• Tony's rant about the casting of Jared Leto as the Hatbox Ghost in Haunted Mansion (2023).
  Tony: I know the Hatbox Ghost is a cult favorite, but not that kind of cult!^note A reference to Jared Leto's Church of Mars, a group for fans of his band Thirty Seconds To Mars that takes on lots of cult-like trappings in a maybe-ironic way.
• They wonder if the fish in Finding Nemo consider the fish in this movie, with their grotesque bulging eyes, negative stereotypes.
• Linkara sarcastically nitpicks the movie while Viga goes "ding!"
• They realize why nobody in the town has actually seen a sea monster. Once they are killed and brought to the surface, they turn into human corpses.
• Tony guesses that Morgan's favorite character was the cat.
  Morgan: How dare you say things that are entirely true.
• Tony points out that the antagonist is a Karma Houdini after threatening Luca and Alberto with a harpoon.
  Tony: You get to threaten me with a Bowie knife, tops.

Hannah Montana S2E29 - We're All On This Date Together

• Morgan's rant about how Otaku these days have it so easy with Crunchyroll and don't have to go buy expensive DVD's.
• Luke asks if this is one of those shows with all the "girl feet". When told no, he says he'll save it for the "Escape From Dan Schneider" show.
• Morgan's reaction to Luke's Gilbert Gottfried impression. "Get the proton pack."
• Morgan mistakenly thinks Hannah Montana got popular around the time Spice Girls broke up. When Tony points out she missed about a decade of pop culture, she answers "Things happen in the order I preceive them!"
• This exchange:
  Morgan: Can you imagine how crushed the spirit of the comedy writer who wrote this had to be?
  Tony: Comedy writers' spirits are pre-crushed.
  Morgan: Yes, but they usually come pre-crushed in a way that makes them funnier. I know comedians as a species gave up on life a long time ago.
• "You know how when you're watching bad comedy time seems to both dilate and contract?"
• "Did Ray Romano have something in his contract where everything he's in just fucking shits on him?"
• They mock the costumes. One kid looks like an understudy for Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. Another looks like "pimp Dick Tracy" ("So just Dick Tracy?"). One girl is called a "vampire flapper."
• Tony's skepticism that the show used a live studio audience because nobody reacted to an Actor Allusion to High School Musical.
• Morgan describes the male love interest as Montana Max getting a jump start on being a rapist and an Urkel who makes you feel dirty. Oh, and by the way, he's ten.
• Miley says "I was afraid I'd get stuck with some jerk."
  Tony: Leave me the fuck out of this.
• Tony realizing that Roxy is Hannah's bodyguard...who's off on her own Class Reunion B-plot instead of chaperoning Hannah's date with two boys.
• Morgan says Hannah's father and brother look so alike they remind her of Jango and Boba Fett.
• For the "What's the Attraction?" bit, Tony suggests a date auction similar to the one in the episode.
  Dave: I can't imagine a Disneyland attraction auctioning people off.
• Dave did a riff on a Superman short where bad guys keep flying planes into buildings and almost accidentally released it on September 11th.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua: The 100th Episode Spectacular!

• There are TWELVE people on this podcast!
  Tony: This is going to be an unmanageable fiasco and I can't wait to edit it.
• This exchange:
  Morgan: I'm pretty sure this film is a hate crime.
  Kyle Carozza (in the most pervy voice imaginable): I'm pretty sure this film is a ''love' crime.
• This episode was chosen by a Twitter poll because "people are basically cruel."
• "So what's everyone's experience with this movie?" followed by loud, unintelligible crosstalk.
  Tony: QUIET!
  Kit: And that's when I told the banana "No, YOU'RE the fraud!"
• The movie was #1 when it came out because "The housing market had just crashed and we were all looking for a way to painlessly kill ourselves."
• One guest worked in a movie theater and saw Beverly Hills Chihuahua for free. He still felt ripped off!
• "It's sad how Rob Schneider is only the second worse Schneider in show business."
• Morgan's movie pitch of a sad biopic about the late Taco Bell dog's career crashing due to typecasting.
  Tony: When he died, did they grind him up into Taco Bell meat?
  Morgan: I can neither confirm nor deny.
  Luke: A family walks into a producer's office...
• Hayley and Charlie describe chihuahuas as looking like ET and Dobby had a baby. And it shivers constantly like a newborn.
• When Kyle says "This is what Walt would've wanted", Zach answers "Well if that's the case, then I'm glad he's dead!"
• The congratulatory messages from various friends of the show are full of gems. Madeline, for instance, records a message for Tony's future 300th and 400th episodes. The future apparently includes Alice in Wonderland 7: They're All Bugs Now, Kevin Feige being a disembodied Oracular Head with psychic powers, and the "salt wars".
• Dave reads the IMDB trivia page, complete with bad grammar, lack of punctuation, and misuse of the word "respectively".
  Tony: Maybe it was a mistake to let people write IMDB trivia.
• Tony during the "What's the Attraction?" segment. "Well, unfortunately, you're all...RIGHT! We're going to kidnap Bob Chapek and hold him ransom until he builds all your shit!"
  Charlie: We are literally blocks away from the Walt Disney Studios.
  Kit: We're just going to throw Zaslav down the hole.
• Their shock when Charlie gives it a Disney Plus.
• "We're very funny on this podcast once Tony cuts out all of our racism."
• Kyle says "There's no characters in this movie, but things that make character sounds."
• Kyle says "I made a show called Mighty Magiswords. Good luck finding it!"
• While others tell people to follow them on social media, Zach offers to let people literally follow him home. However, he can't promise he won't hunt them for sport.

Under Wraps (2021)

• One of the guests is Dracula. Zach spills a garlic pizza everywhere.
• Zach saw the original movie when he was a teenager. He remembers nothing about it except that a female character says she sleeps naked.
  Zach: My monocle popped off and my top hat spun into the air. I found it most unorthodox.
• Dracula suggests an event where they review shows from a different streaming service. "Escape from Peacock Weekock."
  Tony: I feel like that's too easily misinterpreted.
  Dracula: Wee-cock was my college nickname.
• Tony and Emily think the movie is So Okay, It's Average but Zach hated it so much that his notes are "All work and no play make Zach a dull boy" and when he regained consciousness, there was a dead body in his house.
  Tony: It's not Cassie (Zach's girlfriend), is it?
• "I have never longed for the sweet release of commercial breaks before."
• The fake movie the characters are making is more charming than the actual movie...and ten times better than The Mummy (2017).
• Tony is baffled by a kid in 2021 having Kid N Play hair and asks Emily if it's a new trend because she hangs out with lots of kids. Realizing how wrong that sounds, he clarifies that Emily is a teacher.
• Emily says she regularly watches Halloweentown High because a friend of hers is in it. Tony asks if that's the title of the movie or if she just watches it high.
  Emily: Tony, I was high for all of it.
• They say that a scene where a character eats octopus looks like "tentacle porn."
• Dracula says he was in the movie, but he was super high off of drugged blood from a meth addict and doesn't remember it.
• "I can't hate a movie where a mummy fights off goons with a giant ice cream cone."
• Zach points out the pointlessness of the plot, which is to get the mummy into his sarcophagus before the magic wears off and he turns to dust. Even if they succeed, he's still dead either way.
  Tony: But if he's in the sarcophagus, you get a sequel! That's how this works!
• Dracula says the fake vampire accent used in the movie is offensive. In his own fake vampire accent, of course.
• Zach says he could be elected President purely on a platform of making this movie a crime.
• Tony gives the movie a "mild" Disney Minus because "I enjoy hearing Zach scream in pain."

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

• Tony recounts seeing this movie in theaters as a nine year old. They get to all the slapstick violence he's been waiting for...and then the projector breaks down.
• They, of course, have a lot of fun with Donald Trump's cameo.
  • Tony says that Trump was such a narcissist that he let movies get filmed on his property for almost nothing in exchange for a cameo. However, most of the time, his cameo would get cut out.
  • Not only that, but Trump got ripped off because of his narcissism. Tony points out that film productions can be very damaging to the location and any smart businessman would charge a lot of money for them to film on his property. Trump did it for a cameo.
  • "I can't wait for the scene where the FBI raids Trump Tower for the top secret documents."
  • "He's literally wrong about everything!"^note Trump's one line is telling Kevin to make a left to get to the lobby. We then see Kevin make a right.
  • "Kevin went after the wrong criminals. He should've gone to Florida and set up some traps around Mar-A-Lago."
• They point out that in the sequel Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House, French Stewart plays a Composite Character of Harry and Marv even though it's supposed to be canon.
  Tony: Were they Tyler Durdens of each other?
• During the "Give this to Kevin/Kevin's not here" scene, Buzz doesn't even participate. He's just in the background contemplating existence.
• They interpret Uncle Frank as a pedophilic Creepy Uncle.
• "We're gonna get our 72 virgins, Marv!"^note They reimagine the scene of Kevin visiting the World Trade Center on 9/11 with the Wet Bandits as the hijackers.
• They try calling the hotel's number from the movie and are somewhat disappointed to learn that it's not a phone sex hotline.
• The Values Dissonance of Kevin being horrified by the "Pigeon Lady" and other homeless people in Central Park.
  • "What John Hughes is trying to tell us is that homeless people are evil and ugly people are evil."
  • "[Kevin] runs out of Central Park and directly onto the set of Batman Returns to meet the Pigeon Lady."
  • "Remember kids, homeless people exist so that rich kids can fulfill their character arcs."
  • "Tim Curry has played Cardinal Richelieu and literally Satan but I think this might be his most unlikable creep." (After Tim Curry's character calls the homeless "parasites".)
• "It has a plastic skeleton! Why are we discussing this?"
• They mock the movie's frequent use of Curse Cut Short.
  "There are a few near-shits."
  "Near-shits are very painful."
• Gaby says Kevin's "Have you had enough pain?" sounds like something out of Hellraiser. Tony suggests that Kevin grew up to be Jigsaw.
• At the end, a cop volunteers to take the stolen money back to the children's hospital. "Sorry about your lung, little Timmy, but Officer Jenkins got a brand new jet-ski for Christmas."

Arendelle Castle Yule Log

• Tony introduces his guests: Carl Featherbottom/Santa, Agatha, and ("Are we really doing this?") the ghost of Gilbert Gottfried.
• Agatha tries to push Tony into the CGI fire.
  Tony: Did you just try to murder me?
  Agatha: No, I tried to set you on fire.
• "Gilbert" claims to be the new spokesman of GEICO. "I didn't know insurance companies hired dead people. Kind of defeats the purpose."
• Gilbert claims he's now friends with Jesus Christ in the afterlife.
  Carl: Is he as cheap as you?
  Agatha: (Spit Take)
  Tony: You haven't been hanging out with a certain rapper, have you?
  Carl: Kanye? No, I hate that bastard!
• Santa is taking Christmas Eve off and subcontracted his job to Dracula. Who is also the ex-boyfriend of Agatha's grandfather.
• Agatha learning about Dracula's history with her great-grandfather. Dracula cheated on him frequently with both living and dead lovers. Agatha's great-grandfather shot Dracula with Eye Beams, causing him to lay an egg containing Agatha's grandfather, a crab-bat experiment hybrid. She's also part vampire and Dracula hangs up immediately after revealing this to her.
• Their fake underwear commercial. Carl is wearing a lacy polka-dot thong that shows off all his cellulite, skin tags, and tentacles. Agatha reacts appropriately.
• Gilbert talks about the afterlife. Carrie Fisher just gave him the finger. He's dating the Queen of England, who's polyamorous now and also dating Jim Henson. Aaron Carter does regular concerts. Jimmy Carter isn't dead yet but he still visits to check out properties before he moves in.
  Gilbert: Jim Henson practices Non-Manamana
• The Queen refutes rumors that she is a lizard person. She's a shaved bear, thank you very much!
• Gilbert asks the Queen why she had Lady Di killed. ||It's because her name is Di(e).||
• The Queen tries to convince everyone to die, with a 3 hour presentation about a time-share in the afterlife. Agatha gets her chainsaw while the Queen names dead people, mostly former Minnesota senators.
• No matter what dark or absurd things they're discussing, they'll always pause to point out when Olaf is back on screen.
• Tony, Carl, and Agatha discuss how to get rid of the ghosts while Gilbert and the Queen make out in the background.
• The return of Gunther, who proposes getting rid of the ghosts by letting them lick him.
• Gilbert tries to scare off Sam the Eagle by telling an Aristocrats joke.
  • The Aristocrats joke involves Jonathan Taylor Thomas shitting all over the floor. It wasn't part of the act, just a coincidence.
• To prove Tony's not a ghost Agatha slaps him, leading to everyone slapping Tony, and one more for Crabby and the wimp.
• They ultimately suck the Queen's ghost into a vacuum. Gilbert keeps having sex with her through the bag.
• Tony gives the Yule Log a Disney Minus purely because it resulted in this ridiculous episode.
  Tony: Let Us Never Speak of This Again.

BONUS MINISODE! Arendelle Castle Yule Log Outtakes

• Tony's internet goes out the first time at the part when everyone is slapping Tony to prove he isn't a ghost. Agatha then comments that she slapped him too hard as it ended up killing him. She then gets her crab experiments to give him CPR.
• While waiting on Tony's internet to be restored, Carl introduces everyone to Tiny Tim but accidentally brings the wrong Tiny Tim.
• Tiny Tim dies after giving his speech, Agathia says they should clean the body up before Tony returns but Carl said not to worry as he ate him already.

2023 Episodes

Behind the Attraction S1E8 - It's A Small World

• Haley's first line is totally deadpan "Don't touch me, I'm a real live wire."
• Charlie says he came up with his Conspiracy Guy character after having three Monsters on an all-nighter bender.
• Tony talks about his personally regretted video on Small World where he says that the ride..."hurt" him.
  Charlie: It has aged like a fine...heavy cream.
• Charlie discusses the previous episode of the series, where they talk about Walt Disney building Disney World.
  Narrator: It was all systems go for the Florida Project and it seemed there was nothing that could stop Walt Disney. Except (Gilligan Cut to Walt's obituary).
• Cassie says she went through Small World slightly high while listening to "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People. Then they suggest other songs to play like "Raining Blood" by Slayer, "This is War" by Thirty Seconds to Mars, "Fight the Power", and "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister.
• They gush over the "tactful burn" where the board members of Pepsi were said to have "completed their usefulness in years previously".
• Haley says that the people who worked so hard to create It's A Small World were "All women and one stoner."
• Cassie thirsting over young Rolly Crump.
• "Mary Blair would have killed someone!" "Rolly Crump would've laughed!"^note While building Small World, the workshop was so full they had to put props in plastic bags hanging from ceilings. They imagine how different Imagineers would have reacted if one had fallen, destroying months of work.
• "I built a Rise of the Resistance in my bathroom. And the line was still way too long."^note A joke about how the ride system for Small World was originally designed in someone's backyard.
• The gang suggests that WB could solve all their problems if they set up a booth where you could just pelt David Zaslav with eggs. Luke Ski would buy his own chicken to have unlimited eggs.

Willow

• Haley explains her love of fantasy movies from The '80s. She loves that they're incredibly ambitious creatively but have technology equivalent to a good community theater program.
• Tony's "I think it's fair to say that more people have fantasized about David Bowie than Warwick Davis. No disrespect to Warwick Davis" when comparing the Labyrinth and Willow fanfic communities.
• "Fuckin' TERFs"^note They mock the scene where Madmartigan is disguised as a woman and his lover's husband shouts "He's not a woman!" over and over again.
  • "Did she just violently TERF her way into allyhood?"^note Referring to the line where Sorsha draws a dagger on Madmartigan and says "One wrong move and you really will be a woman!"
• They misremember Bavmorda's name as Baz Luhrmann.
• When they discuss General Kael, they reference Mitchell and Webb's "Are we the baddies?" sketch.
• Tony says the Eborsisk looks like the hydra from Hercules fucked Beavis and Butt-Head. Haley calls it the "Ballsack Dragon."
  "Dragonballsack, my least favorite anime."
• "The worst special effect [in the Eborsisk scene] was Val Kilmer's acting." He saw the dragon and reacted as if he was surprised to see his mother.
• Haley picked this movie, so when they get to the scene where the army turns into pigs, she apologizes for inflicting that on everyone. Then they wonder why the army isn't naked when they turn back.
• They call the fight between Bavmorda and Fin Raziel the "Old Lady Battle." Best Golden Girls episode ever.

The Finest Hours

• The Running Gag of people saying what a great nose Chris Pine has.
• Their This Is Gonna Suck reaction to finding the movie is based on a true story, with references to Clouds.^note They were afraid to mock Clouds due to it being a true story about a kid with cancer
• If cancer comes up in the movie, Kyle threatens to walk home which is just a few feet from where they're recording.
• Luke wonders if this will be the worst Chris Pine movie he's ever seen considering that he owns Wonder Woman 1984 on Blu-Ray.
• Kyle calls the movie a "fifties shoegaze mumblecore action flick." Luke says these are the most soft-spoken military people he's ever seen.
• The most interesting thing that happened during the movie was Bonnie ordering a burrito that was much larger than expected. Kyle says it's the size of a newborn.
• They mock the fake accents in the movie. "HEY! I'M BOATIN' HERE!"
• "This movie had the smallest emotional budget ever. Nobody can get too emotional because they have to spread it over two hours of film."
• Tony mocks Miriam's repeated demands to speak to her husband.
  Tony: How many fingers am I holding up?
  Miriam: Please call them back.
  Tony: What's the capital of Montana?
  Miriam: Please call them back.
  Tony: What's the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything?
  Miriam: Please call them back.
• Luke compares Miriam to Inigo Montoya.
• Take a shot whenever someone says "shoal".
• "Seamen grunting." "Seamen groaning."
  Tony: It's not their fault we're twelve years old.
• They mock the film's use of the term "glory hole".
• The characters sing a sea shanty about dating an Irish girl. Luke wishes he could hear more of the song just to see how problematic it gets.
• In the "What's the Attraction?" segment, Luke Ski proposes a ride called the Seaman Stimulator.
• "Romance! Endearing characters! Diversity! This movie has ''none''!"

The Devil and Max Devlin

• The guests' reaction when Tony reveals that the Devil is played by Bill Cosby.
• Tony's original idea to say goodbye to Kill Bosby was to have him run for President.
• Agatha might be a Mad Scientist who makes crab experiments but even she thinks Tony is insane for watching every Cosby movie he could find for his Kill Bosby sendoff video.
• Agatha threatens to send Cherry to bite Tony's dick off. In revenge, Tony tells her Bill Cosby's rape joke from Mother, Jugs & Speed.
  David: I hope everybody knows that that long stretch of silence they heard was not something Tony added in [...] Is there such a thing as hazard pay for podcasts?
• Tony then talks about how the film started life as a Hammer Horror film with Vincent Price in Cosby's role. Agatha promptly leaves the room.
• "I want it on record that on this podcast about Bill Cosby, someone used the phrase 'come ten times harder'."
• Ryan, being the only person to not hate the movie, calls himself the "designated Luke" of the episode.
• Ryan misremembers Congressman Larry Craig's name as "something skeevy, like Dicky Bushman."
• They mock the idea that people can commit horrible sins and be Easily Forgiven by going to church and atoning. "You can't have a Diet Coke and then just eat a whole pie!"

Down with Love

• They call it "Malewife the movie" and "A journey from 'cad' to 'simp'."

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

• Madeline's father showed her Zardoz when she was a kid.
• Madeline says early sci-fi writers tended to overexplain all their technology because they didn't expect anyone to suspend disbelief. Dave says Jules Verne predicted Reddit culture.
• Dave says 1960's Disney movies were so bad that the Walt Disney Family Museum has a whole wall dedicated to Mary Poppins and everything else crammed into a little corner.
• Madeline impersonates the French professor with a Mario accent.

The Mandalorian S1E3 "Chapter 3: The Sin"

• Zach Hurst's Werner Herzog voice.
  Zach: "It is only out here upon the edge of the galaxy that we can look out and see the stars that makes us feel infinitesimally small and also make me need to go to the bathroom."
• "Exhausted of ''Star Wars'? You must've been on the Internet at some point in the last five years."
• Santana says that in The Last of Us, Pedro Pascal looks like a sad puppy dog all the time. When he's sad, she can't tell because he always looks sad.
• Zach says Pedro Pascal isn't hot in the same way other Hollywood men are. He's hot in the way a guy in a sweater is hot. He doesn't look like he could beat people up but he does look like he'd be good at cuddling.
• They call Gina Carano "She Who Will Not Be Named" and "She Who Will Make No Box Office Returns."
• The Mandalorian refuses a vacation and wants to keep working so he doesn't have to deal with any of his emotions or trauma. He's basically a millennial.
• "Are the Twi'lek healing baths off the table?"^note They imagine Mando saying this when he's confronted by Greef and his hunters.
• They talk about how hard it must be to live in a world where devices (droids) have feelings. Imagine a sentient knife that just wanted to stab people.
• They mock Mando's theme music. "Not now, didgeridoo man!"

BONUS MINISODE! What Else Is NOT on Disney+? (part 8)

• Tony reveals that he was actually in The Joy Luck Club since Amy Tan and his mother were in a band together. He appears in the background of this scene as a kid with a box over his head.
  • He speculates that he was just such an ugly child that they decided to put a box over his head. But they still made him go through makeup.
  • He and his mother joked that he should get an Oscar for best supporting actor in a box.

Davy Crockett and the River Pirates

• David introduces himself as "King of the mild frontier."
• David mocks the blatant editorializing of the movie's Wikipedia page.
  Wikipedia: meant to salvage revenue from the blunder of Disney killing off the Davy Crockett character too soon within the three program arc ending in the Alamo massacre, greatly diminishing the value that could’ve been derived from what surprisingly had exploded into a worldwide phenomenon.
• Nick is shocked that what he thought was an iconic Long Runner TV series was actually only three episodes where the hero dies at the end and then had to be brought back due to his popularity. Kit says it's like the Marvel Cinematic Universe if Avengers: Endgame was the third movie.
• Since the iconic theme song pronounces "bear" as "bar", Tony's uncle mistakenly thought Davy Crockett was killed in a bar when he was only three.
  • No, he killed someone in a bar when he was only three. It was a Maggie Simpson situation.
• They mock the Ho Yay of the movie. They say George's meeting with one of Fink's men at a bar is flirty. Then they note how George falls from a chandelier into Davy's arms.
• They discuss the Marvel vs. DC rivalry. DC executives would wonder why Marvel kept outselling them. They thought it was because Marvel had more blues on their covers so Stan Lee would prevent any blue on their covers for three months and still outsell them. Then they thought it was because Marvel had more dialogue on their covers so Lee would ban dialogue on their covers for three months and still outsell them.^note This is in response to a scene where Davy's boat is falling behind Mike's. They decide it's because Mike's crew was singing a song and that they can catch up if they sing a song of their own.
  Tony: Fuck it, let's just hire James Gunn!
• Nick's love of Davy's line "Don't go skinning the bear before you shoot him!"
• Mike Fink calls Davy a "snorter" and Kit wonders if that's a Disney-friendly way to say Davy uses cocaine. Then they wonder if Fink calling his crew "mother's sons" is a Disneyfied version of "motherfuckers."
• Their This Is Gonna Suck reaction when they realize they're going to have to talk about the movie's depiction of Native Americans.
• The scene where a stranded man begs Davy's boat for help and then reveals a bunch of livestock he purposely kept hidden.
  David: Like dating someone without telling them about your kids from a previous marriage.
• David says the scene where the two boats start fighting with their oars looks like a bunch of kids fighting with pool noodles.
• They look at the Fair for Its Day depiction of Native Americans and say the Daily Wire's audience would call it too "woke" now.

Hatching Pete

• Morgan puts her reaction to the film in Haiku form.
  I am a spinning fossil.
  Crumbling into dust
  Before the credits roll.
  Tony: I think that's the wrong number of syllables.
  Morgan: I don't have the brainpower.
• Their initial reactions to the movie.
  • "I don't think I like chicken any more"
  • "We're going to see chicken suits in our nightmares."
  • "My notes just say 'Chicken chicken chicken' over and over again."
• They say the movie is basically a sitcom episode stretched to ninety minutes. Tony guesses that the town is under the same spell as Westview.
• They discuss how the movie wasted a perfectly good plot by not leaning into the absurdity of a small town way too obsessed with its high school mascot.
  "The problem is that requires fucks. This movie was made by a bunch of people who just had no fucks. Or if they had fucks, they were hoarding all their fucks. They weren't giving away a single fuck. Their fucks were on lockdown. They were saving up their fucks to treat themselves to something nice at the end of the fuck semester."
• All the background extras had resting bitch face. At a pep rally.
  Morgan: Well, that is how I remember pep rallies.
• A movie character says that while Superman gets all the glory, Clark Kent never complains.
  Tony: This is how you know this was made before the Snyderverse.
• They start questioning their own sanity over the sudden mention of a character named Tommy, who they swear has never been mentioned before that point.

The Superhero Squad Show S1E19 - Election of Evil!

• They think the version of Ms. Marvel sounds like Stripperella.
• Tony's rendition of the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song when he realizes Tom Kenny is playing Captain America.
  Tony: Who fought against Nazis and froze in the ice? CAPTAIN AMERICA!
• They say that Egghead's new towers look like boobs, complete with references to The Naked Gun.
• Stan Lee's mayor character destroys the towers, basically doing a "coded 9/11."
  Tony (doing a Stan Lee impression): I'm gonna get my 72 virgins, True Believers.
  Kyle: None of us are seeing Heaven.
• Hulk mistakenly thinks the Mayor is dead.
  Kyle (doing a Hulk impression): Hulk read ahead in script.
• Stan Lee saying "Smack me, Daddy."

Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves

• Tony going through some of the unused titles that Disney trademarked when Honey, I Shrunk the Kids became a hit. This includes "Honey, I Shrunk Grandma", "Honey, I Swallowed the Dog", "Honey, I Cloned the Kids", "Honey, I Shot The President", "Honey, I Blew The Mailman", and "Honey, I Defenestrated The Pope".
• A character invents juice that makes you glow and Tony says it's definitely giving them cancer.
  Garrett: They can make Honey, I Shrunk Our Tumors.
• While she was watching the movie, Anarkee's boyfriend came in and said how much he loved the movie as a kid. Then he segued into Allison Mack's involvement in a sex trafficking cult. And her character gave a speech on consent.
• They wonder why the Food and Drug Administration, of all agencies, is regulating the shrink ray and conclude that shrunken people must have been legally reclassified as food.
• This was Anarkee's first exposure to the song "Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts." If you're not familiar with the classic schoolyard song, the lyrics are morbid.
• Garret remembers being called by girls whose friends had a crush on him.
  Garrett: "Can you make a pet name for a friend who had a crush on you?" No. "But she's having a really bad day." I don't know this person. How did you get this number?
• Tony's alternate ending for the movie. Instead of unshrinking the parents, the kids put them in a hamster cage and the third act becomes a prison break movie.
• Tony's confusion that "otherwise smart people" like Smart House including Anarkee, Jenny Nicholson, and Il Neige's wife Erika.

Once Upon a Time S1 E12 "Skin Deep"

• Before even watching the show, Tony and the guests are rendered Laughing Mad purely by some of the show's reinterpretations of classic characters.
  • Jiminy Cricket is now a therapist named Archibald Hopper who is a human that asked the Blue Fairy to turn him into a bug. Charley's girlfriend nicknamed him "Jiminy Mann" and Madeline wonders if he's a Kafka-esque bug monster. Charley Marlow has to add in a "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer.
  • Pinocchio is a Badass Biker in a leather jacket.
  • Dwarves are hatched from giant eggs as fully-formed adults in footie pajamas.
    Chris: So dwarves really do just spring out of holes in the ground.
• Since all the main characters are either related or romantically involved, they imagine the writer's room having a complicated chart meant to prevent accidental incest.
• They point out that Rumplestiltzkin was always an antisemitic caricature but the show added insult to injury by naming his real-world persona "Mr. Gold", making him steal babies, and giving him actual reptilian skin.
• Madeline's speech thirsting for Rumplestiltzkin.
  Madeline: To all my family, friends, loved ones. To all the experiences I've had and will have from now until the cold hand of death comes to collect my soul. To all these and more I say you are all dogshit now. My heart has been taken by a man that I can only describe as if Willem Dafoe played The Greasy Strangler. When I watch my future child exit my womb, as I hold them tight and they smile at me, my only thought will be "They chipped the cup! My fucking god, they chipped the cup." I will now be living in the woods of Griffith Park taking on the position once held by Mountain Lion P-22. I expect my days to be difficult but fruitful. If you see me in the ruins of the old LA zoo, please do not approach me for I have seen a man turn into the rose from Beauty and the Beast and I am no longer responsible for my actions.
• Since the show is filmed in Canada, they say "Regina" should be pronounced to rhyme like "vagina."
• Their sheer disbelief at the huge number of Punny Names. The Evil Queen is "Regina". Cinderella is "Ashley". Belle's father is "Moe French". The Magic Mirror is "Sidney Glass".
• They also mock the many Composite Characters.
  Chris: I'm assuming Dumbo is also Tinker Bell and Claude Frollo, right?
• "Somewhere in New York, Kyle Kallgren is screaming and having flashbacks of Mr. Nobody."
• In the show, a character named Ralph is told to wreck a restaurant. They wonder if a character named Oliver will say "We've got company."
• They say the green screen sets make The Phantom Menace look like Edward Scissorhands.
• They point out that the Dark One's power is transferred when someone kills the previous Dark One. That makes it "The Satan Clause."
• Ruby barely appears in the episode but she becomes Madeline's favorite character purely because they describe her as a goth version of Britney Spears from "Hit Me, Baby, One More Time" who's also a werewolf that ate her boyfriend.
• Chris summarizes his reaction to the show by quoting H. P. Lovecraft: “We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.”
• Belle's father "cleansing her soul" with scourges and flaying is "no worse than what Matt Walsh does with his kids."
• Madeline says "It's the worst thing I've ever seen but I'm gonna binge the whole show."
• They realize that all the trans women gave the show Disney Plus. "We sent it out in our mailer last week."
  • "I guess the two cis guys are giving this a Cisney Minus. I have to side with Cis Nebergall."

Frankenweenie (1984)

• A darkly funny example: Gaby says she recently lost her own family dog so this is as if the randomizer is deliberately trying to torture her.
  Tony: This is a spinoff called "Let's Torture Gaby!"
  Dave: I've been here since day one and haven't gotten a spinoff.
  Tony: Your spinoff is "Let's Wait Interminably For Dave To Use His Guest Choice!"
  Dave: It's gonna make Gunsmoke look like a BBC series.
• Despite her love for Tim Burton in high school, Haley says he was always "huffing his own farts."
• Tony says Tim Burton's work is either really good or "really, REALLY fuckin' bad."
  Gaby: Alice in Wonderland (2010) has entered the chat.
• Gaby saw Burton's Alice in Wonderland with her mother at midnight for a sixteenth birthday present. She was so disappointed she felt like she should've apologized to her mother.
• They say Burton's best films have all had "Big" in the title (Pee-wee's Big Adventure, Big Fish, Big Eyes). They imagine him directing The Big Lebowski and groan when Tony mentions Johnny Depp as the Dude.
• After watching the film, they actually become more sympathetic to the Disney executives who refused to release it. The death of the dog is so traumatizing they wonder if it was too much even for Eisner and Katzenberg.
• They say Gaby's Michael Eisner impression sounds like John F. Kennedy.
• Tony's high school biology class never dissected frogs and went straight to fetal pigs. The experience disgusted him so much he gave up red meat for three years.
  Dave: You skipped Kermit and went right to Miss Piggy.
• "I didn't recognize Daniel Stern because he didn't look homeless enough."
• Despite the happy dog and the optimistic ending, they imagine the dog happily barking something with the subtitles "We belong dead."
• They imagine Lauren Boebert ruining the upcoming Beetlejuice 2 by materializing in your home and jerking off her date.
  Tony: Dammit, who said her name three times?

Arendelle Castle Yule Log: Cut Paper Edition

• Tony says his last podcast on a Disney Plus Yule Log was a disaster because he only invited joke characters like Agatha Vile, Carl Featherbottom, and Gilbert Gottfried's Ghost. He then says that he doesn't watch podcasts to be entertained. He watches so he can pretend the guests are his friends and have a parasocial relationship with them. Then Dave rips off his disguise and reveals that he's Carl Featherbottom, Morgan reveals she's Agatha, and Kyle reveals he's Gilbert Gottfried. Tony releases a Big "NO!" while the characters enjoy an Evil Laugh.

2024 Episodes

The Nightmare Before Christmas

• Tony wonders if Die Hard can now join this movie and adaptations of A Christmas Carol as Christmas ghost movies since Alan Rickman is now a ghost and Bruce Willis is about to be a ghost. The others react appropriately. ^note At the time of recording, Bruce Willis retired from acting due to dementia.
• Gaby claims that when she was seven, a ghost grabbed her foot in the stretching room of the Haunted Mansion. Tony "reassures" her that it was probably just a pedophile.
• Garrett, Gaby and Rob know the movie so well they can recite dialogue from any point from memory.
  Garrett: Did you know you'd be shooting inside a Hot Topic today?
• Tony says watching the movie feels like injecting an entire Hot Topic into his bloodstream.
• Garrett says original screenwriter Michael McDowell was too busy to write because of his constant cocaine benders.
  Tony: Michael, this movie's only supposed to look like it was made on drugs. You're taking it too far!
• They imagine Jack discovering Valentine's Day, specifically the Valentine's Day Massacre.
  What's this? Some gangsters getting shot!
  What's this? My word they bleed a lot!
  What's this? These people are banging banging banging
  Everyone's so horny. Have I possibly gone thorny?
• Tony sarcastically wonders why Goth girls would identify with Sally, a pale girl covered in cuts with an abusive parent who's in love with a literal symbol of death.
• "He's got a skull on his face. Are we the baddies?"
• "Jack can't get the meaning of Christmas through his thick skull. Even without any flesh around it."
• They discuss the fan theory that Jack is also the Headless Horseman, which results in everyone doing impressions of Christopher Walken as Jack.
  "I want you to make it. It's very easy. The coat is red and the trim is white."
  "I have a fever and the only prescription is more Christmas!"
  OH NO! CHRISTMAS TOWN HAS BEEN CRUSHED!
• Jack sets himself on fire, presumably to protest the war in Ramadan Town.
• While being kidnapped, Santa says he can't take a vacation during Christmas and asks if Oogie Boogie's henchmen have heard of "Peace on Earth and good will toward men."
  Garrett: That's every retail and theme park worker during the holidays.
• The scene where Sally's disembodied foot gets tickled was "definitely someone's awakening."
• Jack improbably makes it all the way around the world in a night, making them wonder if there was an imposter Jack somewhere. Or as Tony puts it "Two different Jacks having a Jack-off."
• The Running Gag of Carl Featherbottom popping out of Garrett's chest (Garrett does the voice) only for them to force him back in.

World's Deadliest, S3E1, "War of the Carnivores!"

• Since this is a National Geographic animal documentary, Kit mentions that they have experience training exotic animals...but they could just make stuff up and everyone would believe them anyway.
• They mock the episode's Testosterone Poisoning. Keep in mind that all these lines are from female guests.
  "I can smell the frustrated testosterone."
  "This is a cage match, right?"
  "I'm growing hair on my chest as we speak."
  "My voice just dropped five octaves."
• Tony's first reaction after watching the documentary: "Is NatGeo okay?"
• The documentary draws parallels between nature documentaries and History Channel war documentaries. This unintentionally implies that war is a natural part of humanity, which is "not the easiest thing to argue against."
• Two male tigers fight, possibly to the death, over an attractive female. The female just seems disinterested.
  Tony: It's like two drunk guys at the bar fighting over who gets to talk to the hot chick. Meanwhile, the woman hasn't been consulted on this.
  Morgan: She looks into the camera like she's on The Office.
• There is so much slowed-down and sped-up footage in this documentary that Zack Snyder would tell them to give it a rest.
• They wonder how the narrator kept a straight face while repeatedly saying the word "booby".
  Actual line from the episode: The frigates bicker amongst themselves for scraps of booby vomit.
  Tony: They just don't write 'em like that any more.
• They discuss how male bears will kill cubs so that the female bears will go back into heat.
  Tony: But when I kill a bunch of kids, their mom won't fuck me!

A Tale of Two Critters

• Tony usually opens podcasts with promotional material from whatever they're watching but he couldn't find any for this movie. He instead plays the trailer for Critters 2: The Main Course, a comedy horror movie about human-eating aliens.
• Dave claims that he's been imprisoned at the North Pole for the last 2 years and Santa is somehow a dog now.
• Steve tells the story of Ron Miller, Walt Disney's son-in-law, sitting around on the lot and playing poker while his studio was dying and about to get bought up by a Texas oil billionaire who would sell it for parts.
  Tony: Put down the cards and pick up a fire extinguisher, Nero!
• Luke rants about the Non-Indicative Title of Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend. If you're not familiar with the movie, this is the first indication you have that it's about dinosaurs.

Treasure of Matacumbe

• Ryan Hipp's response to "What Would Walt Have Done?" "My Mom!"
• Their reaction to finding out the movie takes place in the post-Civil War South.
  Madeline: Lots of red flags in that description.
  Chris: A Disney movie in the Reconstruction-era South? What could possibly go wrong?
• Madeline describes Disney movies from this era as "Shut your kids up" movies. Ryan describes them as Troy McClure movies.

The Fox and the Hound

• Don Bluth left to make his own studio with blackjack! And hookers!
• When Disney bought 20th Century Fox, they renamed it 20th Century Studios. A meme joked that this movie was now entitled And The Hound.
• Tony's reaction after watching the movie. "That sure did exist, all right. There sure was a fox and a hound."
• Brad Bird worked on this movie and Tony wonders if this is the reason why his movies often have the Randian subtext of exceptional people being held back and forced to produce mediocrity.
• They mention that Jack Albertson (best known as Grandpa Joe), once wrote an op-ed defending Blackface and parallel it to modern day complaints about Political Overcorrectness.
• After watching a romantic scene between two foxes, they wonder if the animators were furries before that word even existed.
• They say Big Mama is a bird who helps a character's romance. She's a literal wingman.
• "He only animated the lactation."
• "Michael J. Fox and the Hound"^note They mock the appearance of Model T's in an '80s movie and wonder if Disney will ever do a movie with a Delorean. This, of course, leads to the Back to the Future parody.
• A character shoots his own mailbox, which is still full of mail. "Take that, last message from my dying mother!"
• "This movie traumatized a generation of animation directors!"^note Many big-name animators got their start working on this project, many of whom hated it. The guests mock how other films, like The Land Before Time, Ratatouille, and The Lion King (1994) rip off scenes from this movie but improve them.
• One guest says they sent several screenshots to their furry friends, who responded how often they freeze-framed that scene while the movie on the Disney Channel.
• "THE BEAR NECESSITIES WILL COME TO YOU, MUTHAFUCKA!"
• They imagine the movie narrated by a Straw Nihilist Werner Herzog.
• At the end of the movie, Widow Tweed is left taking care of the villain Amos, who was voiced by Jack Anderson.
  "I'm gonna Misery the fuck out of you!"
  "That's why Grandpa Joe was bedridden!"
• The movie reminds Dave Cobb of a quote from Disney CEO Card Walker: "We might bore you but we will never shock you."
• Tony says the movie's only legacy is how other animators rebelled against it and he's forgotten it already.
  Guest: What's Step by Step again?
• Charley made a video based on Captain N: The Game Master, which was "really hard to watch" so they beg viewers to watch the video to make it worth it.
• Charley lists off all the great guests they've had on their own podcast including.
  Tony: Tony Goldmark
  Charley: We try not to talk about him.

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