Critical Role Come Together / Funny

Critical Role 's funny moments
Campaign 1 (Vox Machina): 1-23 | 24-38 | 39-83 | 84-99 | 100-115
Campaign 2 (Mighty Nein): 1-25 | 26-47 | 48-69 | 70-91 | 92-112 | 113-141
Campaign 3 (Bell's Hells): 1-22 | 23-38 | 39-51 | 52-64 | 65-80 | 81-
Critical Role One-Shots

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Episode 1: Curious Beginnings

Laura's character—Jester, a Genki Girl blue Tiefling with a Romanian accent—is already shaping up to be hilarious.
Jester: I'm sorry I took all your friend's money...
Fjord: You could give it back?
Jester: Why, though?
- After this, she's told "Your Laura is showing." and everyone, including Matt, breaks down into laughter.
When Jester first starts talking to her and Caleb, Nott notes that Tieflings can only sense movement. Jester admits that while that may be true, she can still hear her.
Similarly, Taliesin plays an extremely ostentatious Tiefling circus performer with shades of Snake Oil Salesman named Mollymauk.
During the party's first meeting in the tavern, Beau asks why Nott is so wrapped up, and Caleb anxiously explains that she's a goblin and not to tell anyone. It turns out Marisha meant it in the sense of Nott being wrapped in clothes like she's cold, and Liam (by accident and yet perfectly in character for Caleb) misinterpreted and overshared to an extreme degree.
After teaching Nott to play cards, Laura asks if the pastries Jester ordered came out yet and is suddenly handed a real pastry on a napkin to Sam's surprise. A few seconds later, Sam pulls out a cupcake that he had hidden in his lap. It takes Laura several minutes to notice.
At one point while speaking as Nott, Sam's voice starts to break and a few others are beginning to giggle. It's what he says next (while still doing the voice, too!) that causes the whole table to crack up:
Sam: Yeah, I'm sticking with this fucking accent for the next two years.
Caleb is browsing the bookstore, and while he's talking to the owner, Jester decides to misplace and rearrange a few books. She rolls a Natural 20, however, so there are stacks of pulled-out books, books turned every which way, and books completely misplaced all over the shop.
- Also, after failing to find any interesting books in the store, Caleb, trying not to seem impolite, asks to buy a book on farming:
  Caleb: How much for this book on, uh... hoe technique?
  Book store owner: Ah, Jamison's Hoedown, yes. That would be two silver pieces.
  Caleb: I'm very embarrassed, sorry, I gave away my last two silver pieces...
  Laura: No, I gave them back to you, remember?
  Caleb: I gave away my last two silver pieces.
- When Caleb leaves, he calls Frumpkin, his tabby cat familiar, after him. Cue Matt meowing in response, followed by Liam and Marisha's reactions as they realise that Matt has to make cat noises now.
As the group approaches the circus tent, they find Mollymauk outside, doing his fortune telling for a farmer who asks if he should be worried about his cough. Molly flips over a tarot card and tells the man that the cough will probably get better soon, but still encourages him to have it looked at.
Farmer: Oh, right, right. Um, by who? What do the cards tell me?
Mollymauk: (flips over a card, completely deadpan) ...Some sort of physician, perhaps.
Making fun of the pronunciation of "falchion" when Fjord reveals his sword for the first time, with Liam suggesting "felching". Made funnier by the fact that Matt, Laura, Travis, and Liam were all in Fire Emblem: Awakening, and thus should probably know how to pronounce "falchion."
A case of Meta Black Comedy, the cause of this campaign's first battle is an elderly man turning into a zombie-like creature. The elderly do not have a good time around any PCs in this universe.
As the rest of the party get ready to fight the new threat of the above-mentioned zombie, Beau doesn't quite get the idea and thinks it's All Part of the Show, as well as that it was making said show much more interesting.
Sam's new character, Nott, tries to sing, with him doing so intentionally badly. Ashley has a look of utter horror on her face, and Liam facepalms.
Laura: Can I shoot an arrow at Nott?
Liam: He's killing the memory of Scanlan!
Marisha's character is nicknamed "Beau", and by sheer coincidence, an NPC happens to be nicknamed "Bo" as well. This causes confusion. At the end of the episode when the party is surrounded by guards, they milk this and all try to claim their names are "Bo".
- Their full responses when asked by the guards to give their names:
  Jester: Shirley!
  Nott: Temple!
  Caleb: ...Caleb Widogast.
  Beau: Beau. Like him. [attempts to indicate the NPC Bo, but is technically gesturing toward Travis]
  Fjord: ...Bo.
  Nott: (Who has already given an alias) I AM BO!
When the guards start accusing the carnival of being responsible for the attacks after the battle at the end, Mollymauk makes an irritated remark about how of course they intentionally caused their patrons to turn into zombie-like creatures, just to deliberately ruin their own performance. The guards then declare that the whole carnival will be arrested and ask who belongs to it. The carnival master Gustav tries to exempt Mollymauk and Yasha by saying they came in with the other patrons, but because of Molly's comment earlier, Matt has Taliesin roll a Deception check... which he critically fails, leading to Molly being essentially arrested for sarcasm.

Episode 2: A Show of Scrutiny

After Keyleth getting arrested became an unintentional Running Gag, Marisha makes it clear this character isn't going to jail for once. Thanks to a series of extremely poor rolls (failed Stealth, failed Deception when the guards see her, failed Strength when trying to elbow a guard and get away), Beauregard ends up getting arrested anyway.
- For ultimate comedic timing, just as Molly is allowed to go free, the party sees Beau being dragged in.
  Beau: Help! Helphelphelphelphelphelphelphelphelp!
- When Molly snarks that it must be part of the show, Beau flips him off.
While the party is swapping stories from their pasts, Nott talks about her thieving career so far. When she mentions she had a collection of stolen sticks and rocks, Jester points out that people probably wouldn't be mad about that. Sam has a perfectly-timed on-the-spot response, which sends the entire group into hysterics.
Nott: True, true… But they were like people's canes n' things.
Jester: Ohhhhhh!
Everyone else: [busts up laughing]
Mollymauk: [both Taliesin and Travis raise their mugs] I'll drink to that!
- Later, Nott's sticky fingers happen to find a flask made of platinum. To put this into perspective, the party is currently dealing in silvers and single-digit golds; this single item is likely worth several times their total party wealth.
When Jester and Fjord enter the jail to try to get Beau out, Matt describes the jail as smelling like piss and mildew. Jester's response?
Jester: Ugh, it smells like Caleb in here!
At one point, Nott says she likes "loves trinkets so much" in a fairly drastic turnabout from Sam since the last campaign, which the cast acknowledge with barely-contained laughter.
- Similarly, Fjord admits that he's "not much for ale", with an identical reaction.
When ordered by the city guards to wait in an inn for questioning, Jester declares that she is going to run up and down the stairs until the staff asks her to stop.
Laura leaves the table just before the break, so Taliesin puts on her glasses.
Nott tries to pretend-fight Caleb to deceive some guards, and rolls a 0 and a 4 (a 3 and a 7, but she has -3 to her Charisma-based checks) even with Caleb assisting for advantage. Caleb ends up real-hitting her in the face with his own Natural 20 on Deception, so the players joke that Nott's teeth were straightened because they were already messy. Meanwhile, Jester was failing at her own stealthiness by squatting in six inches of lake water.
Jester offers to cheer Caleb up by showing him "something cool"... it turns out to be graffiti of a penis that she scratched into one of the tables at the inn.
Molly: Is that— is that what they look like?
Jester: I've seen a lot of dicks, okay? That's what most of them look like!
Taliesin: I'm already in my cups.
Jester fails at poo graffiti.
Jester rolls a Natural 1 on a Perception check, causing her to get an eyelash stuck under her eyelid and spend an hour (with Fjord's help) trying to get it out.
Jester and Nott's entire routine of "That's our culprit!" is comedy gold.
- Nott and Jester make an amazing duo throughout the episode, even before wildly accusing half the circus of being responsible for the zombies at the end. While investigating earlier, they disguise themselves as a mother and young daughter. Despite this, Jester successfully persuades a bartender that it's all right for Nott to have whiskey (even though Laura can't quite get the line out without laughing).
  Jester: It's okay, she's my daughter, she loves whiskey...
Caleb describes the group as including "a dirty ginger" when talking to Nott about their need to blend into the shadows. Cue Marisha silently questioning if Liam meant her, before remembering that Caleb is literally a dirty ginger.^note
Beau's attempt at bonding with the Knot Sisters, by insulting Molly, backfires when the Knot Sisters take offence.
Molly: Her name's Beau. She's, ugh... She's helping, she's awful, you have a lot in common.
One of the Knot Sisters: Well, okay. Whatever you wanna know.
Beau: He's such a dick, why is he such a dick?
One of the Knot Sisters: Molly's great, why're you such a dick?
Fjord uses a classy fake British accent to talk his way past some guards at the circus. As soon as they’re clear of the guards Travis starts speaking to Caleb...as Grog. It only takes him a sentence to slip back into Fjord, but the reactions from the rest of the cast are pretty amusing.
- Made Hilarious in Hindsight with The Reveal that Fjord's real accent is British instead of his initial Texan one!
The revelation that Fjord has no pockets.
Sam: You designed a character with no pockets? Why would you do that?
Liam: He's just in a Blue Man Group unitard and that's it!
Marisha: I'm sure Rob Liefeld just got a nosebleed and he doesn't know why.
When leaving their inn rooms again, the group tries to think of a way to make it so that, when they return, they'll know if someone came into their room when they weren't around. First Beau tries using some bandages and cloth from her medical kit to tie the doorknob to something in the room, so it'd be moved if the door opens. This proves difficult, eventually leading Molly to exasperatedly just give her string to use.
- Then, as that's being set up, Caleb comments how he can just use a spell to alert him if someone enters the room (so Molly immediately takes his string back), and Liam flips through his book to find the exact spell.
  Nott: (Smiling) The best part is, it doesn't alert him if I sneak in or out!
  Caleb: (As Liam doesn't even look up from his book) That you know of.
  Nott: (Smile vanishes) Wait...
Just before the battle that takes up the cliffhanger:
Mollymauk: We're gonna do what we can. When it doubt, if something goes wrong, just... nudity. It usually works.

Episode 3: The Midnight Chase

Before the episode, Sam (as usual) does the sponsor spiel for D&D Beyond. He claims to be losing his voice and asks Laura to read the text while he lip-syncs. Cue the text promptly mocking Laura for obsessing over dice superstitions and using her "dice jail".
At the start of the episode, Laura and Sam trade dice for fun. When the episode starts and they roll initiative, they both roll the dice they traded... and both get Natural 1's.
During the initial fight, Jester attempts to cast Sacred Flame on one of the zombies ...while simultaneously trying to pet the nearby Frumpkin.
Matt snatching up the Golden Snitch comes back to haunt Taliesin as Matt uses it to role a Natural 20 as a zombie crits Molly and knocks him out. Later, when Taliesin repeatedly fails to hit a single Imp in the episode's boss fight, Matt holds the Golden Snitch aloft and kisses it in a "my precious" manner.
- When Travis realizes that Matt has been rolling Natural 20s with the Golden Snitch, he immediately turns on Taliesin.
  Travis: I will bite you in the anus!
Nott gets the HDYWTDT on the last zombie. It consists of shooting it in the calf and running (screaming in terror) without even seeing if it hit, resulting in the zombie falling into a campfire.
Jester quickly stabilizes an unconscious Molly and starts digging around in her pack for a healer's kit, only to realize she doesn't actually have one.
Beau: You have a six-pack of donuts, but you don't have a healer's kit in there? And you're the cleric?
Jester: I'm the cleric? I'm the cleric?! What is this?! I've never traveled with a bunch of people that I thought would DIE in front of me, okay?! I've never needed a healer's kit before!
Beau: (pulls out her own healer's kit) Well congratulations, you're the cleric now.
Matt casually reveals that Exandria has two moons, and that this fact had been established in the first campaign. The cast wonders how this had never come up, and collectively conclude that they must have never looked up.
Sam: Just in case, how many suns are there?
When the party comes into possession of some horses, Travis asks to check if it’s a mustang. When he’s successful & confirmed that it is, Fjord names him Shelby, to the collective groans of the group.
Marisha: We had better get a hundred thousand dollars from Ford for that one.
When the group gets back to the inn, Jester falls asleep while drawing the zombie guards making out with each other.
Taliesin: Way hotter.
After Caleb and Not come back from buying books, Jester gets really curious, much to Caleb's irritation.
Liam: I hide it near my dick so she can't get at it.
Jester: I am not afraid of dicks.
Marisha: She's not your sister anymore.
After Fjord's backstory is revealed to have involved being a sailor, the entire party indulge in "Sea Men" jokes. Everyone breaks into hysterics as the jokes continue to be embellished.
- Caleb encounters a similar problem, as his insistence on being left alone to read his books leads the rest of the party to repeatedly suggest that he in fact wants to be left alone to do something else. After Liam had already asked Matt if Caleb was a speed-reader, he then takes it to its logical conclusion:
  Liam: (turns to Matt) Would you say that Caleb is a speed-beater?
Caleb explaining that Frumpkin cannot permanently die, being a summoned fey spirit rather than a real animal, becomes Black Comedy when Nott talks about how she was once turned into an octopus so Nott could safely jump out a window onto her, with Caleb adding that Nott has eaten Frumpkin three times.
Nott rolled a Natural 1 when trying to make acid in her chemistry set. Matt said that a little splashed on her glove, so she dropped it all on the floor, where it started making a hole in the wood until Caleb woke up from Frumpkin the sparrow and transmuted it into iron.
Nott and Jester's embellished account of their "brilliant mystery-solving" from the last episode, which boils down to getting the Devil Toad and Toya to confess "Aaaah I'm a fiend!" and "Aaaaah I'm a little girl!" Better, Nott wasn't aware Toya was a Dwarf, she just assumed Toya was either a small child or an adult unnaturally de-aged by the Devil Toad feeding on her life energy.
Jester and Nott have an extended conversation about the biology of the Devil Toad, which descends into theorizing that the little Dwarf girl was actually a dangling appendage of his (think anglerfish) rather than a living creature.
Fjord: So this thing has tentacles now?
Nott: Not just tentacles. Dwarf tentacles.
Liam (Out of character): Fuckin' anime actors...
- After this, the others ask Molly if the circus has an opening for Nott and Jester.
Molly agrees with the theory that Kyrie is a Devil Toad and did siphon life force from at least four victims, and now possibly Toya. Beau is just a little incredulous that no one in the circus realized anything beforehand.
Beau: You never noticed Toya acting weird? You were never like "Oh this a strange"...
Molly: Have you met us? We're all a bit weird and you don't ask a ton of questions.
Beau: Yea but there's a difference between "quirky" weird and "oh, I think this person's life force is being siphoned away from them" weird.
Molly: There is. It's the difference between being in a carnival and not being in a carnival.
Beau: Then why were you with the carnival?
Molly: Because I'm weird!
Beau: (Groans in frustration)
Nott: That tracks. That fully tracks.
Fjord disguises himself as an old man who claims to have seen a murderous creature to lure a guard away from the inn so the rest of the party can sneak out. When he realizes that the guard is still following him, Fjord quickly stops and pretends to be senile and have forgotten what he was doing to make the guard leave him alone. The guard in turn gives him a Dope Slap and warning "Don't go wasting our time".
- At the same time, the rest of the group uses the distraction to try and sneak out of the inn they are supposed to be currently under house arrest at until they're summoned to the Lawmaster to answer questions as witnesses. Beau fails her Stealth skill roll, but because it was a group test and majority passed, Matt rules it simply as her simply landing a bit hard and awkwardly from a second-floor window into the alleyway, with a minor twist of the ankle or sprain but otherwise ok. Sam immediately starts trying to offer some penalty suggestions. The others are all horrified or mocking at some of the obvious silliness it would cause.
  Sam: Does she have disadvantage on all checks for the next two days?
  Matt: No.
  Sam: Thats how I would rule it.
  Taliesin: This is why we don't have you as DM.
  Marisha: "This ankle is affecting my wisdom! Its reaching into my family history!"
  Liam: (In a voice akin to Jeff "Comic Book Guy" Albertson) Dungeons and Dragons is about punishment!
Fjord secures the group passage on a boat, if they bring the sailor a bottle of alcohol.
Fjord: (To Nott) If I gave you some money, could you go pick us up a nice bottle of some stuff?
Nott: (As Sam grins maniacally) Yes!
Fjord: (Immediately) I don't trust you. (To Jester) If I gave you some money-
Jester: (As Laura also grins) Yes!
Fjord: Could you- okay.
Jester: Yes, you can definitely trust-
Fjord: (Interrupting) I don't trust you either. (To Beau) Beau.
Beau: Yeah.
Fjord: I'm gonna give you three gold.
Beau: That's too much, but... alright. Do I get to keep the change?
Fjord: (Breathes in) No.
Beau: Dammit. (Marisha rolls her eyes) I'll be right back.
Thanks to mis-interpreting a few of Matt's descriptions, the party becomes fixated on a non-existent witch encounter on the island, misinterpreting a ruin as a hut, and even trying to will it into existence with their role-playing power. Matt warns them that if they want a witch encounter so badly, he can easily make one...
Sam: There's a full hut with a witch inside, Matt.
Matt: You want me to put a witch in this? You want me to throw a witch in this? There can be a witch, Sam! I got rules for this shit in the book!
The crew tries to pass a message down the line from Fjord to Molly.
Fjord to Beau: These shells have been devoured.
Beau to Caleb: The shell has been devoured.
Caleb to Nott: The bells have been deflowered.
Nott to Jester: The whales are in my power.
Jester to Molly: The veils are covered in flour?
[Molly and Fjord exchange a thumbs-up]
After Keyleth spent many episodes angsting about killing a child, Beau's initial contribution to the boss fight is pinning Toya down and knocking her out. Worse still, Matt forgot the rules for nonlethal damage, so Toya could have died! Children and old people: some things never change.
Nott shoots her crossbow without looking. Sam rolls a Natural 1 on the attack, then rolls a second attack to determine that it ricocheted off of Jester's shield.
Nott: I'm blinded by tears!
What gives the party the most trouble in the boss fight? Not the boss itself, but a single Imp. Multiple party members waste their turns failing to hit it, and it manages to take out Fjord. The group jokes that there was a very real possibility they could've been TPK'd by a lone Imp after killing the boss. Beau finally manages to kill it, and uses her second attack to stomp on it repeatedly even though her first staff hit already killed it.
As heartwarming as it is, Nott's Natural 20 medicine check to stabilize Caleb is described to the rest of the party as "the scariest mouth-to-mouth you've ever seen".
At the end of the episode, cracks are made at Liam for "getting the full wizard experience", as two hits knocked him right out.

Episode 4: Disparate Pieces

Beau makes Kylre's head flap its jaw like a puppet to make Jester laugh. Molly is utterly mortified that they're making a puppet out of his former coworker.
As Molly hurries Toya to the boat, the rest of the gang kinda forgets they're carrying Kylre's head on the way there, completely uncovered. Toya just screams.
Matt: It's hard to keep her away from that.
Travis: We literally cut the head off of Barney and shoved it in her face. "I love yooouuuuu" (Dies.)
Toya is understandably uncomfortable around Beau after Episode 3, so the gang coaches Beau through a rather unconvincing apology:
Fjord: It might do for you to apologize.
Beau: Sorry.
Jester: Sorry, for whaaaat...? Beau.
Beau: ...Sorry for choking you with my stick.
Nott: "And I'll never do it again."
Beau: And I'llneverdoitagain.
Beau, Jester and Nott try to sneak back into the inn, and are quickly spotted by guards. The results are impressive:
- Jester makes a disastrous attempt at deceiving them ("I lost my shoe!"), which is so dumb that Matt forces her to roll Deception at a disadvantage. She and Beau get arrested.
- Nott claims to be unconnected to them...and rolls a 0 on Deception.^* Matt snorts cola up his nose.
Caleb is making a rather bombastic appeal to Lawmaster Norda to examine Kylre's remains and declares the group that's supposed to be under house arrest as innocent, when a certain trio get Perp Walked right past the Lawmaster.
Lawmaster Norda: Well now this will be real interesting. (Points at the approaching group of Crownsguard escorting the manacled and chained Beau, Jester, and Nott) These ones you're talking about, right?
Beau: (As she's being marched past) Help. Help. Help. Help.
Nott claims to Norda that she and Caleb are not criminals. After all, they've just been traveling since they broke out of that... nothing.
When Archivist Zeenoth from the Cobalt Soul library in Zadash comes to inspect Kylre, Beau makes a blatantly obvious attempt to hide her face, clearly not wanting to see a Cobalt Soul envoy. When asked, she claims to be just stretching, despite having no reason to do so.
Apparently, after Yasha's dramatic departure at the end of the first episode, she was caught by the guards immediately.
During the party's late-night trial, Nott's identity as a goblin is revealed to the Lawmaster and her reaction is to immediately become hostile to her. As a result Nott gets a bit... scared as the trial goes on.
Lawmaster Norda: Is that goblin pissing in my court?
Liam constantly engages in Self-Deprecation to explain why he's telling the truth during the trial, including talking about how he's a hobo who reeks of yesterday's garbage. The best part is that the entire time, he continues to use the same tone of voice, so he makes saying he is a "dirty hobo who reeks like yesterday's garbage" sound oddly dignified.
Jester and Beau celebrate Beau getting her first nemesis of the campaign... whom Matt points out is a 12-year-old girl.
Before leaving, Gustav delivers a farewell speech, but Jester mishears a crucial word:
Gustav: To the new family, don't make the same mistakes your forefathers did.
Jester: ... Nott, they had four fathers.
Nott: That's progressive.
After Yasha comments how Nott "the Brave" seems to be intimidated by her, Nott answers that actually there is no comma in her name. She is just "Nott (not) the brave".
After Molly discusses his philosophy of life, Jester chimes in with "Life needs things to live, after all". Taliesin uses this opportunity to take a jab at his previous character.
Molly: That's a stupid phrase, who said that?
Caleb: That doesn't make any sense at all. I mean- it does, but it is blatantly obvious and simplistic.
Caleb takes Nott to an expensive bathhouse. What's the first thing she does? Pour the cucumber water on the ground and eat all the cucumbers, and steal everything in the room not nailed down. Matt cracks up and doesn't even ask for a Sleight-of-Hand Check, since they're in their own private room and no-one else is watching.
- Also, when Caleb was stripping down to get in the tub, he still had Disguise Self active. The cast compared it to a "glitchy video game character", with his real clothes popping out of nowhere.
- The other kicker is that Caleb spent the whole time reading and relaxing instead of washing - he used no soap and didn't get even a drop of water above his neck or try to clean up his clothes. Neither did Nott. So Caleb spent his silver on a very nice hot bath to have them not take a bath.
How does Beau learn her level 3 Cobalt Soul monk abilities? By practicing on Zeenoth with her new mentor, the pair beating the shit out of him for a couple hours. This is the favor Zeenoth owed to find Beau in the first place. They are, by self-admission, assholes, but "sometimes the world needs an asshole". Beau says that she will work on that phrase.
The healer's kit Beau gave to Jester in the last episode? We find out that Beau originally bought it with Jester during Session Zero... and Beau paid way too much for it due to Jester swapping out the price tag. Now Jester owns it, which Laura points out is a double win for her.
Jester re-arranges the wares of a store again.
Jester straight-up tells the shopkeeper of Natural Remedies:
Jester: My friends keep dying, do you have any healing potions?
What starts as a normal shopping trip quickly becomes a drug deal thanks to Taliesin's improv as Molly, causing the shopkeeper's character to instantly shift from normal salesman to shady dealer. Taliesin apologizes to the audience and points the finger at Matt because he'd obviously prepared for this. Matt replies that he totally didn't make the NPC up on the spot or anything.
- When Fjord rolls Persuasion to get healing potions for cheap by hinting that the Mighty Nein might report him for drug dealing if they don't, the shopkeeper slips him a dose of the drug anyway for free. Matt brings up the possibility of a TPK by overdose.
- Beau shakes the shopkeeper's hand and asks for his name. Matt pauses for a long time before responding and Travis jokes that he was still deciding on a name by the last letter.
Just before they leave, as they are finishing up the last packing, Beau takes the time to commit mail fraud against a brewster company she dislikes. One successful Deception roll and she's got three packages to take with her on their journey.
Taliesin: That is actually the worst crime we committed today.
Thanks to a poor Animal Handling roll (from Nott with help from Fjord), their horse ends up taking off in fear, the cart right behind it. Forcing the group to end the session chasing after their things. They comment on how horses and carriages are the new doors.
Nott giving flowers to Yasha.
Nott: I give them to you because they might perk you up, coz you're so drab and also you won't want to kill me.
Yasha: Well I don't want to kill you.
Nott: Of course you don't, I just gave you flowers!
Jester: Did you get me any flowers?
Nott: No... Because you're less of a threat.
Jester: (Ominously) You don't know that...

Episode 5: The Open Road

Since Sam wasn't there in episode 5 of the first campaign, he's wearing a green screen shirt (something he mentioned on the previous Talks Machina that he could do it after Marisha suggested it) so the fans can edit it.
Travis compliments Marisha's "dope jacket" at one point and mentions how jealous he is. Matt tells him that they can get him one that is the same size, prompting him to go into hysterical crying.
When Caleb goes into a trance to see through Frumpkin's eyes for spying purposes, Jester keeps asking him questions about what he's seeing, despite Nott's repeated reminders that Caleb can't hear her.
While they're on the road, Jester has Molly do another card reading for her:
Molly: (Looks at Jester's card) Oh, that's very good.
Jester: Is it? What does it mean?
Molly: It means that you're on a cart.
Laura: (On the card she drew) It was the chariot.
When Beau and Jester climb a tree during a break, Beau spies some knots on the tree and asks Jester what she thinks lives in them. Jester's answer? Really tiny unicorns. Apparently, some of them can be as small as hamsters.
Beau: What is it like, inside your head?
Jester: It's pretty great!
- Later on, Jester critically fails a perception check while keeping watch at night, so Matt decides she suddenly had the urge to draw tiny unicorns in her sketchbook.
When the party takes watch, Caleb notices something moving and wakes Nott, suggesting they get Beau up as well. Nott, in the middle of panicking, doesn't want to, noting that she's the most irritable. This wakes Beau up anyway, and she grumpily complains about them calling her irritable. And then everyone remembers she, like Caleb, is human and can't see in the dark any better than he can.
The group quickly discover that the movement they saw belonged to a small herd of bison-like creatures. The party has a brief discussion on whether to pursue them (to use them as beasts of burden for their wagon), or leave them alone. Fjord, however, with unbridled glee, has reasons of his own.
Fjord: Well let's go look at one!
Nott: You want to go cow tipping, don't you?
Fjord: FUCK yeah!
After Molly takes third (turd) watch and rolls a 6 perception check, Matt asks everyone but Fjord to leave the table.
Travis: WHY DIDN'T YOU ROLL HIGHER PERCEPTION?
Taliesin: I literally don't know. That's actually the problem.
Marisha: Just don't like, get a lich phylactery installed in you again.
After Fjord wakes up from his dream and vomits seawater, Molly runs his hand down the front of Fjord's shirt and smells the water and finds that it smells briny. Jester and Beau both go to take a taste, prompting Beau to say that "You taste like sea men"... which is followed immediately by cackling from the players and an extended double face palm from Matt.
Matt: I've never been more proud of my wife.
Shortly thereafter, Jester asks Fjord, with complete sincerity:
Jester: Do you think you're slowly turning into water?
Fjord: (Long sigh) ...Nope. I hadn't considered that terrifying thought. But thanks, I'll just add that to the fucking list.
Jester: If you feel like it's happening, let me know and I'll catch you in a jar.
- Jester then implies that, if he did turn into water, she might drink him. Molly has to genuinely explain to her that you can't drink salt water.
When the group finds a city under attack by Gnolls, Matt informs Nott and Caleb that they've fought them before. Jester asks for advice.
Jester: How do you kill them?
Nott: Keep hurting them until they die!
In the battle, Jester creates a Spiritual Weapon... in the shape of a giant lollipop.
- And her radiant damage spells, instead of the standard white are pink.
Liam has a little My God, What Have I Done? moment after a rolled nine results in several cries of "Nein!" to go up around the table.
Liam:What have I wrought?
Nott rushes up to the second floor of a house to get a better vantage point... only to find the entire floor is on fire. She takes a look around the flames and says "This is fine".
Jester uses Hellish Rebuke on a skeletal Gnoll... by yelling "I'm rubber, you're glue" in Infernal.
Nott uses Hideous Laughter to force a Gnoll to laugh at her joke: "Do you know what happens to a frog when its wagon breaks down? It gets toad away!" The other players debate whether the Gnoll takes physical damage from holding in the groan, or psychic damage for hating itself after laughing at that joke.

Episode 6: The Howling Mines

For the DNDBeyond contest, Sam tells his fellow players to make a lv. 3 character on said website. Everyone freaks out, while he's intentionally stressing them. Laura almost wins, but ends up with over a hundred hitpoints (she made a lv. 15 character instead).
Early on, the group asks about Molly's swords and how he got them, resulting in Molly making an incredibly obvious fake story about his family being part of a cult of some kind before stealing the swords and running. The group then drills him for more information, and all Molly can do is give super vague answers, such as when Nott asked about having any other family out there, he answers with; "Not that I've ever known." Matt doesn't even make them roll, it was super clear Molly was just bullshitting them.
To help Caleb resummon Frumpkin, Fjord gives the wizard the small amount of incense he has on him; unfortunately, the contribution is rather negligible in the grand scheme of things, given that Caleb needs a lot of incense:
Caleb: (fumbling) Oh... That is really, very, ah...
Fjord: Changed your day, didn't it? Everything's coming up flowers now.
Caleb: Yes, this has helped me immeasurably...
Fjord: Don't mention it.
- Hilariously, Caleb's subsequent show of camaraderie, in which he goes "Thanks, big guy" and then punches Fjord in the shoulder, backfires due to the two men's low strength stats (10 and 11 respectively). Liam and Travis act out the "put on a brave face followed by secretly wincing" perfectly.
The group asks about the closest thing to a shop left in the town, which they find out previously was a barn. Jester, curious as ever, asks why it used to be a barn but became a shop, resulting in the NPC Matt made going on a long speech about the history of the barn becoming a shop. As soon as he finishes, Jester has a blank look on her face, clearly having not paid attention, and merely comments that it was a good talk, in a dry tone.
- This conversation:
  Store Owner: What kind of establishment do you take me for?
  Caleb: Well, it's a barn, ja?
  Store Owner: Touché.
When looking for the gnolls, Jester rides on Beau's shoulders to act as a lookout, while Beau barely passes the Strength check to hold her up.
Jester: I'm flying! I'm flying, Jack!
Beau: (visibly straining) Yes, you are! Doin' great!
When deciding the marching order, Nott comments that she'll be part of the Fjord Expedition, a pun so bad the players can hear the recording crew groaning in pain.
- Later on, upon trying to decide whether to press forward into the mine or backtrack to a previous unexplored tunnel, Nott asks if they should be Fjord Explorers or Fjord Escapes. Travis immediately looks at Sam with Tranquil Fury eyes.
  Travis: (whispering to Matt) Kill him.
Fjord creates a Minor Illusion of a plump, wounded bunny to distract some hyenas. After the party kills them, Jester tries to look for the bunny.
Jester: That's really sad, they ate it.
Nott: We'll have a funeral later.
Fjord suggests sending Frumpkin, still a bird, into the Gnoll's mine, leading Beau to comment that it's a "canary in a Gnoll mine". The entire cast admits that was Actually Pretty Funny.
Out of nervousness, Nott finally drinks enough from her flask to get drunk. The cast instantly finds out how hilarious drunk Nott is, and to their amusement realize what "the Brave" actually means.
Caleb sends Frumpkin-sparrow into the mine to scout it out. Searching for light, Frumpkin smacks into a sloped ceiling and flops to the ground like a bird hitting a window.
Nott, drunk off her ass, inadvertently summons the gnolls by setting off the mother of all log traps. While she's making excuses to the party after the fact about how sneaky she was, Matt describes the party's eyes moving as one to the entire tree dangling from the ceiling by a rope that wasn't there a minute ago.
Nott: That happened after they spotted me.
- Molly suggests to check for traps before they go further into the mine. Jester and Nott volunteer.
  Jester: I can look for them.
  Nott: I can look for them too. I don't know what a trap looks like.
  Jester: Well, what did that one look like that you got hit with before?
  Nott: (completely deadpan) Big piece of rope, probably should have seen it.
  Everyone bursts out laughing.
One of the things they discover after their first battle in the mines is a stick of dynamite which Jester proceeds to wave in the face of a terrified Nott and try to balance on her upper lip like a moustache.
The party comes to the conclusion that, of two paths, the raid victims are most likely to be down the one that is booby-trapped.
Jester: Unless maybe they want you to think that, and the hostages are down the path of least resistance.
Nott: Reverse psychology!
Molly: Unless they knew you would think that.
Nott: Reverse reverse psychology!
Caleb: These are dog people.
During a battle with Gnolls in the mines, Beau reveals she had a bag of 1000 ball bearings all this time, which she apparently bought in Session Zero.
During that same battle, a gnoll shoots an arrow at Beau, and she stops it with Deflect Missiles. She then holds it out and does a makeshift Mic Drop.
Later, Beau tries to "parkour" around the room and attack a Gnoll with her staff. The parkour itself succeeds, but the staff attack misses horribly. As the Gnoll laughs at her, Beau simply punches it in the face.
Nott using Mollymauk's ass as a firing platform.
Nott's terrible Hideous Laughter jokes return.
Nott: If you spend a day down a well... well that's a day well spent!
Both Caleb (two 13s) and Beau (a 2 and 3) manage to miss a lone, prone Gnoll despite having Advantage. In extreme pain from her failed jumping elbow attack, Beau's second attack, out of frustration, is a Natural 20. It's still not enough. Jester tries to finish it and also fails, before Nott finally gets the HDYWTDT. Level 3, ladies and gentlemen.
Caleb: A toast to that guy there... he had a good run.
Sam describes the above gnoll as "Like Beyonce: one hot gnolls". The pun is so bad that Matt suggests 1 point of psychic damage to everyone.

Episode 7: Hush

Sam's D&D Beyond jingle is both hilarious and awesome.
The tone is set when Matt's narration is almost immediately interrupted by Laura, who's cracking up at the mention of "shaft". Things only go downhill from there:
Laura: The shaft curves to the right, y'all.
Travis: Well, it usually curves to the left, but... whatever.
Matt: That's alright.
Sam: Not from her perspective.
Laura cracks up, while Travis closes his eyes and nods his head in assent to that one.
The guest player, Khary Payton, makes his initiative roll, the first roll he's ever done on that particular dice...and rolls a Natural 1. The others go nuts.
Travis: Welcome, welcome!
Liam: One of us! One of us!
Nott runs over to reassure a child during the gnoll fight. Matt indulges in some girly shrieking as he describes Nott, a sharp-toothed goblin, rushing out of the darkness shouting at a young child.
Nott: I'm good! I'm a good one!
Fjord takes a page from Nott's book and indulges in some puns upon casting Armor of Agathys:
Fjord: Everybody... chill.
- Bonus points for Laura's extremely exasperated Lame Pun Reaction.
Nott performs a sleight of hand check against Shakäste to pull aside his cloak and see what he's wearing on his belt.
Nott: It's assless chaps!
During the fight against the gnoll leader, its first action against Beau is to attempt to shove her into the nearby pit. Thing is, Marisha didn't know there was a pit right next to where she moved, because the walls of the model of the mine had hidden it from her point of view. The next few rolls to try and save herself from falling in are incredibly tense (along with Travis and Liam trying to give her their energy a la Dragon Ball Z)... but she still ends up falling, fortunately not taking that much damage.
Beau: (After climbing back up from the bottom of the 40-foot pit) Did you guys know there was a hole?
Nott and Jester's joint HDYWTDT on the gnoll leader:
Nott: Jester, we've solved the mystery! It was him! He did it! He did it!
Jester: It was you! It was you!
Both: (Intense battle cries as they take out the Gnoll leader.)
After a serious discussion about the manticore situation it is decided Nott will sneak in. Nott then nervously requests a ball bearing from Beau.
Beau: Sure. You can have a few. (gives her a handful)
Nott: Thank you.
Beat
Beau: Did you just want that because it's shiny?
Nott: Yeah.
Beau: (exasperated) Oh, Nott...
Shakäste's Spiritual Weapon rivals Jester's in the awesomely hilarious department - it's a bust of a 120-year-old Estelle Getty, and just as sassy.
Beau's attempted rescue of Nott from the manticore after she stabbed its newborn baby fatally as a distraction, accompanied by her increasingly frantic outbursts of "The fuck?!!"
During the fight with the Manticore, Jester casts Hellish Rebuke on it. Taking a page from Molly, she decides to say her incantation in Infernal. However, in a far cry from Molly's Badass Boasts, Jester almost coos at her opponent who, keep in mind, is a terrifying lion-monster with a human face:
Jester: (In infernal) Argh! You're such a cute kitty!
- Keep in mind that, even that, sounds hellishly terrifying in Infernal.
Nott tells another terrible joke, and it makes the manticore double over laughing. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome, since the monster was absolutely furious at Nott for killing its baby (a fact that even led Matt to give the manticore advantage on its saving throw, to no avail).
Nott: What did the incontinent druid say at his surprise birthday party? "I'm so excited I wet my plants!"
After the group returns to town, Jester realizes she forgot to tell the Gnolls "Thaddeus Candleglow says 'Hi'." like she promised, so she unscrews the jar of Gnoll ears and whispers it to them.
At the end of the episode, Khary takes out a dice (from a plastic bag, with gloves) that was apparently used by Wil Wheaton. He mentions that it was given to him in the hope he would use it, but he intends to instead dispose of it, and asks that the disposal (which Matt compares to throwing the One Ring into the fires of Mount Doom) be filmed.
- Filmed it was.
At some point after a battle, Jester decides to hand out some of the gold they found in the mines and try to distribute it evenly amongst the group. After giving some to the group, she has one more left and offers it again. Travis winks at Laura, clearly trying to get her to give it to him, only for Marisha (in character), to ask for it, to which Laura does so. Travis looks at Laura with an almost betrayed look, as if expecting her to have noticed him winking at her.

Episode 8: The Gates of Zadash

While the announcement that Travis and Laura are having a baby is heartwarming, Sam adds this.
Sam: Are you going to hold a Critter contest to name your child?
Laura: What a good idea, Sam! (beat) No!
- Laura comments on how the announcement means she no longer has to hide her bump from the camera.
  Laura: Thanks for blocking my belly.
  Sam: Your turn to block mine!
- In another mix of funny and heartwarming, the sticker on the bottom of Sam’s flagon reads “Baby On Board.”
The cast jokes that they plan on live streaming the birth, this becomes even more Hilarious in Hindsight as when Laura does give birth we find out that the baby was born only about five hours before the stream. They did in fact come very close to Laura going into labor live.
When Beau puts on the goggles she got in the mines and discovers that she can see in the dark with them, Caleb asks her to look towards him... and immediately calls her a nerd.
- Fjord joins in on the goggles shenanigans by pulling them back while Beau is distracted and having them snap back onto her face, startling her. She promptly punches him in the shoulder, causing it to go numb for a minute (Travis' face really sells it).
- Molly wants to try the goggles. Beau hands them over, and Taliesin immaculately acts out Molly struggling to put them on over his large, bedazzled horns. In the end he just holds them up to his eyes, only to discover they don't do anything for him, since he already has Innate Night Vision.
While Caleb is casting Identify, Jester makes a Sleight of Hand check to draw a dick in his spellbook and rolls a Natural 20.
When the group is going over the loot they got from the previous episode, nobody in the group is sure what to do with the Glaive since nobody present can wield it properly. The thing is, they completely forgot about Yasha, meaning the group sold a valuable weapon near the end of the session, and completely forgot about the one person who could wield it. Many people in the chat/comment section had a field day with it.
The characters come up with their new group name, the Mighty Nein. Matt points out that it sounds like Mighty No. 9 (since he played a role in that game) and starts to call it a Mega Man(-based) game, but Liam quickly goes, "Nein. Nein."
Matt: Ohh, that game. Anyway…
More laughs are had when Sam volunteers "Tough" for Fjord's surname. Somehow, the joke works two ways: it could be Nott saying, "You don't have a surname? Tough!", and it could be a reference to the Ford truck brand (i.e. "Built Fjord Tough").
- Which makes a laughing Matt tell Sam "Fuck you!" much funnier.
Fjord knows about Jester's mother, a famous courtesan (similar to Inara), and tries to describe her profession somewhat delicately. Jester is far more blunt about the matter:
Fjord: She entertains gentlemen. She's… hard to describe, a performer, an entertainer...
Jester: Well—she is mostly known for her "herm herm herm", but outside of that... Her voice, is amazing. You should hear her sing.
Caleb: What does that mean?
Jester: What does what mean?
Caleb: "Herm herm herm"?
Jester: She has sex for money! [continues talking about the Ruby]
After everyone finds out that the reputation of Jester's mother basically borders on mythical in certain parts of Wildemount, Beau asks, "is [your mother] what that song is about?". Laura attempts to compose said song, and it leaves something to be desired.
Jester: (flat singing) "The Ruby of the Sea is the best... lay ever."
Nott: It's a translation, I think!
Molly: It doesn't scan in Common. Doesn't scan in Common.
All but Jester: It sounds better in the original Infernal!
- Laura burying her face in her arms immediately after sells it, and every time it's brought up after this, she's obviously embarrassed by it.
The prank that got Jester kicked out of town was when she cast Disguise Self to look like her mother and lured a lord onto the balcony outside while he was only wearing one of her girdles - then she locked him out in broad daylight so everyone saw him. Death threats ensued, but the party unanimously agreed that the lord just had no sense of humor.
Nott asking Jester why she's looking for her dad, especially after Scanlan's relationship with Kaylie:
Sam: Are you trying to find him to meet him and know him? Or to seek revenge on him?
Before leaving Alfield, the group asks Bryce to keep an eye out for Yasha and gives them several tidbits of description, some of which are helpful:
Nott: She carries flowers.
Jester: She's super scary-looking, but she's got a Heart of Gold.
Molly: Extremely charming.
Beau: Very in shape.
Not a minute later:
Nott: Are we sure we want to leave this place? People like us here.
Jester: It's only a matter of time before they don't.
Caleb tries to scare away the group of bandits that ambushed the party at night by claiming they are infected with "extreme syphilis". The bandits don't buy it in the end, but the party tries to sell them really hard on it.
Caleb: We might have tried a few things with that [manticore] head, but we paid the price.
The bandit encounter ends with a hilarious conversation between Molly and the not-very-good bandits. Matt voicing several similar-sounding and very confused bandits all getting chewed out by a former victim has the entire group in stitches on the table. Molly’s glaive-point lecture to the bandits includes asking them if they felt unsatisfied with their old management ("Would you agree that the previous leadership of this group has probably failed you on some level?") in a sequence that wouldn’t sound out of place in a certain other D&D based series, having them elect a new leader ("Do not criticize new management until it's had time to take full effect."), and threatening them into changing their line of work. He even gives them money as enticement to follow through, after criticizing their efforts.
Molly: Now for this, you promise that your terrible bandit days are over because you're really not very good at this. I mean, we were barely paying attention, this is pathetic.
(beat)
Beau: Well, you were barely paying attention.
Molly: Well let's not cast aspersions on new management, it's only been two days.
- Matt describes the bandits as a group of scruffy young vagrants who have clearly been roughing it for quite a while, which becomes especially apparent when Jester forces them to take their clothes off. As Molly is grilling them about finding new employment, Fjord off-handedly comments that they might also need a bath.
  Bandit Leader: (timidly) Are you gonna bathe me?
  Molly: (grins) Maaaybe.
- As the bandits are leaving:
  Beau: No one fucks with the mighty Nein! (High fives Fjord)
  Bandits: (Under their breaths) Mighty Nein, mighty nein, okay okay...
  Beau: But spelled like N-E-I-N. The Mighty Nein, don't-Don't forget it!
  Caleb: It's in Zemnian!
As Caleb pulls the bolts that hit him out of his chest, he faints. To hammer it home, Liam actually remains face-down on the table for five minutes of real time.
The group goes shopping in Zadash and ends up in the magical shop of Enchanter Pumat Sol, the Canadian-accented, absurdly relaxed and polite Firbolg shopkeeper, and his three magical clones. The players are in stitches the entire time he’s present.
Marisha: This guy's our new Gilmore.
Liam: I am not seducing this person.
Matt: You say this now...
Liam: ...Touché.

Episode 9: Steam and Conversation

Sam's DnD Beyond plug, where he tries to "appeal to their British viewers" by giving a speech filled with Cockney slang in an exaggerated Cockney accent. Taliesin is facepalming from beginning to end.
When entering the Leaky Tap inn, the group begins to question what they're going to do. Jester suggests renting some rooms, but as soon as Beau points out the group playing a card game, she immediately goes to interfere with it.
Beau: Oh, you don't have to-
Laura: I'm already gone.
Fjord attempts to teach Beau proper manners. Hilarity Ensues.
Molly tries to teach Nott about not stealing from people who need money, and instead advises her to steal from people who have too much money and therefore tend to be grumpy. When he adds that some people who are grumpy are poor, Nott innocently asks what kind of grumpy Beau is. Molly's response?
Molly: Definitely steal from Beau.
After Molly makes a grand speech in what the group should do next, starting with going to the blacksmith:
Taliesin: I take five steps and go [As Molly] "I have no idea where the blacksmith is."
As one of the town criers is announcing the news, Jester trails behind her and yells:
Jester: Town crier has toilet paper stuck to her shoes!
Town crier proceeds to actually pause and look at her feet
Nott follows a fancy-looking woman and tries to pickpocket her: thanks to some low rolls for the stealing but high rolls for Stealth, Nott manages to only make the woman suspicious of the children running around and cause her blouse buttons to pop off (which she then blames on an innocent vendor, causing her to slap him and storm off). Nott then takes the buttons and leaves. (After all, she doesn't care if the things she steals aren't valuable, as long as they're pretty)
- Equally hilarious is how Matt makes this NPC the most over-the-top Upper-Class Twit stereotype imaginable, so no-one feels bad that she's about to get robbed.
The jokes related to Fjord's name continue when Nott uses Disguise Self to make herself look like Fjord (just a 4-foot-tall variant).
Marisha: So, a very focused Fjord?
Travis: Like a tiny little fiesta.
The conversation briefly turns to the Ruby of the Sea again, whom Yasha has heard of:
Yasha: [to Jester] That's pretty spectacular that that's your mother.
Jester: I know!
Beau: She has her own jingle.
- Hilariously, the cast then proceeds to butcher the original 'jingle' (which only consisted of a single line), causing Jester to go, "You guys have really bad memories."
While Jester and the others are in the bath, she says she likes public baths because she can get close to people she knows and make them uncomfortable, which she says while slowly edging towards Fjord.
When it comes time to leave the bathhouse, everyone but Yasha and Beau leave at the same time. The two of them then proceed to play the gayest game of chicken ever put to screen by waiting for one of them to leave so the other can ogle her. When Yasha relents and gets out first:
Marisha: [to Matt] Do I get a nice view?
Matt: [in an "I can't believe you" tone of voice] ...yeah.
Ashley: [simultaneously with Matt] Yes.
When Jester leaves to get her package from the Pillow Trove, she gives Yasha a big hug. What could be a heartwarming moment is immediately offset by Yasha's response.
Yasha: Oh...thanks, Jester... (out of character) I get uncomfortable.
While Jester and Caleb are away, the rest of the party picks up a contract for slaying a beast lurking in Zadash's sewers, but Voloshin, the Herald of the Hall, is skeptical about their chances of success:
Yasha: We'll take care of it.
Voloshin: I'm sure you will.
Yasha: I sense a little sarcasm from you, sir.
Voloshin: It's a dwarven thing. Got resting bitch voice.
Black Comedy ensues with Frumpkin once again. After horribly failing a Stealth Check for him to sneak past the guards at the Pillow Trove, one of the guards simply kicks him. As Liam only rolled a 1 for his HP when he last cast Find Familiar, Frumpkin died, again.
- Out of character, Travis and Taliesin instantly agree that this particular Jerkass guard has just signed his own death warrant.
- Made better by Travis noting how he probably reacted to the situation, where Frumpkin vanished due to being a familiar, later that night when explaining it to his fellow guards. Matt immediately goes along with it.
  Travis: You guys, I kicked this cat today, and it fucking evaporated.
  Taliesin: If that isn't a beer-worthy story, I don't know what is.
  Matt: The guard looks a bit confused. As you wander back, he's pointing at the tip of the boot, and he's like, "I don't know, it was fucking crazy."
Caleb's Epic Fail of trying to get into the Tri-Spires:
- First, the guards refuse to let him in because, despite being cleaned up by Pumat Sol, he still looks wretched. He tries to send Frumpkin, which fails as described above.
- Second, he tries to use Disguise Self to make himself look "resplendid", even saying that the diguise is how the fandom thinks that Vax looks like. Then he goes back, makes up a story about a meeting at the Pillow Trove in 20 minutes, and realizes that the spell has been negated somehow. So he has to walk away while the guards mock him.
- Third, he tries to come clean to the guards and say he just wants to buy smut from the Chasity Nook and tries to bribe them. The guards pretend to be sympathetic and then scold him for trying to bribe a crownsguard, and send him away again. Caleb's response? "Have fun working for the man."

Episode 10: Waste and Webs

Sam's outrageous ballet performance ad for D&D Beyond.
Travis: What would you do every week without sponsorships? You would just explode.
Sam: I would do this at home.
Matt: He needs an outlet, it's healthy for him.
Vax'ildan returns briefly to help promote Far Cry 5... and he's giving us an idea of how boring it is being an eternal servant of the Raven Queen.
Vax: Y'know, most of the time I sit here in a big black room just wondering where the fuck I am and what's going to happen next...probably nothing [...] Send me some comic books, 'cos I'm really bored here.
Molly has... interesting ideas on how to spend his time at the Pillow Trove:
Molly: I want to defile a very expensive shower.
Matt describes the entrance to the sewer system:
Liam: Are there any clowns in it?
Matt: Make a Perception check.
Liam: That's a... 10.
Matt: (creepily) You don't see anything dangerous, Georgie.
Travis: Oh, Jesus. Please no.
- Taken further when Liam later makes a paper boat and jokingly goes on with the infamous sewer entrance scene along with Jester, pretending to be the Traveler.
Beau has another go at social interaction and it goes about as well as you'd expect. She tries to get some information from a crownsguard before the party enters the sewers, but her blunt demeanor flusters him something fierce:
Matt: He kinda scratches his head over his helmet. (makes the sound of squeaking metal) Doesn't realize he's not getting to the itch.
Beau: Stop with the nervous ticks!
Yasha is the first to go down into the sewers and has a brief look around. Ashley is quick to conclude they're in the clear, but Matt has her roll a Perception check. Cue the Killed Mid-Sentence jokes:
Ashley: Everything looks- AAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Beau successfully finds signage inside the sewer saying where to go. Marisha is unfortunately not very skilled at drawing them for reference.
Marisha: This arrow splits into three arrows, and then....it's a penis.
Travis: If you ever make a road sign, people are fucked.
Liam: That's a Nintendo controller.
When the party delves into the sewer to find and kill a monster, their search turns up some unidentifiable sludge... which Nott tastes for clues. Because Sam manages to roll really high for his Intelligence check, Nott actually picks up a clue from doing this.
- As Sam is describing the experience Laura can be seen nearly spitting out a bite of pastry. Really it's the other players' reactions throughout that sell it. Once Liam brings up Middle Ages diarrhea blasting it gets good, but when Nott brings up eating bloody stool and notes that she remembers that taste everyone seems on the verge of vomiting. Fjord in particular notes that they don't need to know how she knows that taste.
Fjord is the first one to take down one of the sewer rats and barely manages to avoid the cloud of poisonous gas that releases from its dead body. In response, Jester accuses him of farting during combat.
Beau is not so lucky when she is exposed to one of the gas clouds, and rolls a Natural 1 on her saving throw. At the end of the battle, Nott shoots a rat with her hand crossbow, killing it near Beau... who rolls another Natural 1. The die is promptly sent to dice jail as punishment.
Fjord asks Nott to watch their backs as they venture further into the sewers. Unfortunately, Sam's Perception check amounts to the grand total of 1. Later on, Yasha wonders if the creature might be behind them. Cue Nott:
Nott: (confidently) It's not behind us!
Marisha finds the missing mini for Jester's lollypop, causing everyone to gush about how cute it looks:
Taliesin: It really ties the sewer together.
Beau decides to join Yasha's team when the party declares their positions in the sewer.
Travis: (disgruntled) Wow, f—-ing betrayal. Okay.
Marisha: (indignant) I was trying to split it up evenly-
Both start giggling out of character
Marisha: Look, there's a new girl in town...
Molly get the HDYWTDT against the Phase Spider that's been killing guards and citizens... by boiling its blood via Vicious Mockery. Even he can't really believe that just happened.
Molly: I've never seen it do that before.
- Molly's particular brand of Vicious Mockery creeps out some of the other players, as he shouts horrible phrases (in this case "I'll cut off your legs!") in a snarling, hissing voice that's meant to imitate Infernal. Sam quickly remarks that he could say anything in that tone of voice and it would sound creepy.
  Taliesin: (snarling) Who ate all the Cracklin' Oat Bran?!
  Sam: (snarling) Can I have a fishing rod?
After spilling the beans about the Gentleman, Thed prepares to depart and does the standard I Was Never Here, which Beau is willing to play along with. Jester, however...:
Thed: I would hope that you would be kind enough to know that that information did not come from me, and that you've never seen me before in your entire life.
Beau: What's your name?
Jester: His name was Thed.
Molly: Of course, friend, we've never seen you before in our entire lives.
The party nominate Nott to be the first party member to climb out of the sewer. She proceeds to press her goblinoid face up against the grate and shout for help in the most terrifying snarl imaginable.
To verify whether the correct beast was slain, Voloshin has someone get the guard that had previously survived his encounter with the Phase Spider. The guard's panicked reaction says enough and he is promptly sent away again, but Beau protests:
Beau: You should let that guy go on leave... for mental collapse and- that's rough, man.
Voloshin: You look like just the person that I would take advice from when it comes to administrating my people.
- Fearing Beau will get into another argument, Fjord prepares to step in before things escalate, but, to his surprise, the ever-combative Beau relents and admits Voloshin makes a fair point. Then there's Molly:
  Molly: He just said you don't look like an administrator. That's actually almost a compliment.
When the party returns to the Leaky Tap, Nott tries to steal Fjord's letter of recommendation for entrance into the Academy, but Molly catches her in the act. He then tricks her into thinking that he has Fjord's letter and trades it for a vial of acid, only for Nott to find out that he gave her a blank piece of paper.
- Then, after returning the vial of acid and leaving Nott in the room, Molly makes a beeline for Fjord and tells him that someone’s going through his stuff. Cue Fjord, in just a towel, hurriedly making his way back into the room and shooing Nott away like a stray cat.
- Also, the barter exchange leading up the vial of acid is pure gold.
  Molly: What will you give me for it?!
  Nott: I'll give you...A whole gold piece!
  Molly: No, I don't want money, I want something, give me something.
  Nott: ...TWO gold pieces!
  Molly: (Valiantly trying not to Corpse) NOT gold pieces, what do you have?
- Fjord calls out an irate "Punk bitch!" once he chases Nott out of his room.
Molly and Nott bring up their prior discussion about stealing from "grumpy people" and Nott wonders if that includes Fjord. Molly thinks Fjord isn't grumpy, but Nott counters by saying that standing next to Beau all the time just makes him look less grumpy by comparison.
Travis: (laughing) Grumpy-ass wingman makes me look better in comparison?
While talking with a Dwarf member of the Knights of Requital, Beau brings up how awkward it is that her weapon, a Bo staff, sounds so similar to her name. The NPC tells her to blame her parents, but it's also a thinly-veiled jab at Marisha's choice of character name from Matt.
After the meeting with the Knights of Requital, Fjord and Beau return to the rest of the group just in time to catch the end of one of Jester's stories. It involved a man being chained to a bed and unable to find the key, no doubt the result of Jester messing with one of her mother's clients again.

Episode 11: Zemnian Nights

Sam's D&D Beyond ad of the week, a skit featuring himself and Ashley... who couldn't make it. He soldiers on nonetheless, with hilarious results.
- This bit, in particular:
  Sam: Hey guys, the promo code from last week - "invisible wand" - is still active for 25% off any purchase from the D&D Beyond store. But Ash, why don't you tell them the secret other promo code that unlocks everything on the site for free?
  (Beat)
  Sam: Well I hope they wrote that one down.
  (everyone loses it)
In the morning, Frumpkin is summoned back into existence and Liam rolls a 3 for his hit point total, to the delight of the cast. Laura jokes he'll be able to survive at least two kicks.
Nott discusses her Disguise Self spell with the others, and tells them how hard it is to focus on a disguise if she doesn't have a specific person in mind. The others all start adding suggestions, starting with the nose, leading to an increasingly ridiculous image.
Liam: This is getting into Mr. Potato Head territory.
- Fjord then starts adding suggestions that lead to something sounding suspiciously like a certain clown...
Beau talks to Fjord about how to get through to Caleb, and he tells her having a mentor often helps you learn things about yourself. Beau... takes it how you'd expect.
Beau: I should punch him in the face?
Caleb: I'm sitting right next to you.
Beau: I was having a side conversation!
Caleb: It's a small room.
While trying to split up the party so they can do their respective errands, Fjord somehow shifts into an auctioneer's voice, and it is hilarious.
The mini-party of Fjord, Molly and Nott head to Pumat Sol's shop to peruse some more magical items. Since it's raining heavily, they arrive there drenched, leading Fjord to obliquely ask if Pumat can use Prestidigitation to dry them up. Pumat happily agrees... and then starts breathing on Fjord. However, moments later, Fjord becomes completely dry due to him simultaneously using the Prestidigitation cantrip anyway.
Fjord: That is much better, thank you, Pumat. That is wonderful.
Pumat Sol: It is, quite literally, the least I can do.
Laura's reaction when she finds out that the Handy Haversack for which they traded the glaive cost over a thousand gold.
The other mini-party, composed of Jester, Caleb and Beau, is looking for Chastity's Nook, a bookstore renowned for its selection of smutty literature. When Jester is informed that said store is next to a large bakery, Travis already knows what's going to happen next:
Travis: [To Matt] What have you done?
Sam: A bakery and a porn shop? If they find a fight club, you guys are just gonna be orgasming, orgasming, orgasming.
Caleb decides to buy Jester some sweets before they head into Chastity's Nook.
Travis: Your hands are going to be all sticky before you get to the books.
Liam: Better than after.
Caleb, Beau and Jester's time at Chastity's Nook is a gold mine of comedic moments:
- As he tries to describe the shop, Matt can't keep a straight face while trying to describe it tastefully as possible. He eventually breaks down completely into Corpsing as he sees Laura put her face down on the table while holding her mouth to keep from laughing at the talk of what are essentially fantasy nude pin-ups.
  Liam: I made you plan for this!
  Matt: I know you did. Yeah, you did, buddy.
  Travis: Keep going, keep going! The thirteen-year-old [Laura] there's loving this!
- Asked for recommendations, Iva Deshin, the owner, cycles through a fair few novels, including "Zemnian Nights", "Scent of the Sea" and "a "more saucy" story called "Tusk Love". Jester immediately asks to buy the last one.
- Caleb reveals he's into historical porn. Because he likes to learn something while he is "being titillated". Marisha coins it "Edubation".
- While Iva is fetching the books, Jester accosts a regular, who quickly excuses himself.
  Jester: What's your name?
  Patron: I need to go.
- Matt compares the smutty book said patron was reading to Anne Rice's fairytale works, forcing him to recount his first encounter with her pornographic novels when everyone looks at him funny.
  Matt: I remember...
  Taliesin: It's okay, we've all been in high school.
  Matt: I got really into Interview with the Vampire, my mom got me all these new books and I am like "Oh, she's writing new books about Cinderella! That's..." (mimics opening a book) "...Oh..."
- Iva turns out to be an aspiring writer herself. Beau convinces her to show her a few pages of the manuscript, and it reads like typical mediocre Yaoi fanfiction with its overemphasis on "equipment". When Iva asks for Beau's opinion, the monk, calling on her social interaction lessons with Fjord, does the polite thing and, thanks to a high roll on a deception check, successfully tells Iva she liked it.
- Jester does her trademark messing around with stores again. Especially funny is the lead-up.
  Jester: While she was distracted...
  Matt: Oh no.
- She ends up writing "We're watching you. We saw you come in." inside an easily-accessible copy of "Crown of my Heart", a Crownsguard-based romance novel.
It turns out that Caleb bought a warm loaf of bread... so he could stick his hands in it and use it as makeshift gloves. Ones he can eat later! Beau and Jester are suitably squicked out.
Beau: Oh, Caleb...
During a discussion of what books were bought from the bookstore, Liam drops character for a moment and refers to one book as "A Tale of Two Titties", much to the amusement of the group. He also brings up "Baldur's Gate," which elicits a cackle from Taliesin.
Jester reads Tusk Love, a steamy "forbidden love" story between a half-orc named Oskar and the daughter of a traveling salesman. As Fjord asks what she's reading:
Jester: Nothing, Oskar.
- Fjord's utterly bewildered reaction to this is also good for a few laughs.
While Fjord, Beau and Caleb are conferring with the Knights of Requital in the Leaky Tap's cellar, Nott is posted outside the inn to be on the lookout for potential crownsguard. She eventually reports back using her Message spell. It comes across like a phone call with bad reception.
Nott: Everything's okay!... You can reply to this message.
Fjord: Thank you for keeping an eye out. Would you like to join us inside?
Sam: (out of character) I can't reply.
Fjord: Nott? Would you like to join- hello? Hello?
Nott: (casts Message again after 6 seconds) Yes! You can reply to this message.
The party's all fired up about locating the High Richter, until they hit a hitch:
Fjord: Anybody feel like finding out where this High Richter lives, this evening?
(Beau, Jester and Nott voice their approval)
Fjord: (determined) Let's do it.
(Beat)
Fjord: How do we do that?
When Caleb comes to Jester and Beau's room to borrow one of their books, Jester (still fresh from reading Tusk Love) is a bit... enthusiastic.
Jester: (sultry voice) What is it that you want, knocking on our door so late at night, Caleb?
Beau: You've been reading too much smut.
With the help of Molly, Fjord manages to catch Nott as she once again sneaks into their room to rifle through his stuff. Blatant Lies ensue when Nott tries to explain herself:
Nott: I was hungry... There's a definite explanation for this.
Fjord: What were you looking for?
Nott: Seafood. You must have some on you, you're of the sea. I love shrimp and I never get the chance to get any so- we're so landlocked in here. I love the taste of the sea.
(Travis rolls a Natural 20 on his Insight check)
Sam: (with a shit-eating grin) I was not looking for shrimp.
After Nott, Molly and Fjord's dramatic conversation and a small, dark exchange between Nott and Caleb, we cut to Jester and Beau's room.
Jester: And then Oskar falls in love with her, and he carries her across a field and they love each other so much! It's the most beautiful story, Beau...
Beau: That's so great... can we go to sleep now?
Earlier in the campaign, there was a brief moment where Liam tried to get an exact time of day from Matt (due to his Keen Mind feat) to the confusion and consternation of others. Here, we get a Call-Back.
Marisha: (to Matt) What time is it?
Matt: It's, uh, mid-morning-
Travis: What time, exactly, of the day.
Matt: (without hesitation, forcefully, staring at Travis) Ten-thirteen AM.
At the High Richter's, Fjord and Beau do an admirable job selling themselves as suppliers that have been swindled out of their payment by a prominent brewing family, but Jester really pushes it when she claims they also stole their puppies.
Jester gives a fake name to the Knights of Requital upon meeting them, introducing herself as "Tonya Fancybottom". This leads to a rather ironic statement when the Knights of Requital and the Mighty Nein agree to work together:
Jester: The Fancybottom name is one you can trust!

Episode 12: Midnight Espionage

Sam's Surfer Dude persona returns for the D&D Beyond promo.
Sam: He's a fan favorite... and by "fan", I mean me.
- Sam (in character as “Brody Slater”) also plugs the infamous RPG F.A.T.A.L., which has the entire table cringe-laughing in abject horror. Made even funnier when we learn that Sam has no idea what FATAL is, and the rest of the table beg him not to look it up.
Upon checking their equipment to see if they have anything that could help with a break-in, Travis jokingly suggests Beau's ball bearings, to which Taliesin reveals that Molly also has ball bearings on him. Then Marisha suggests they "break into a building using only ball bearings" as a Self-Imposed Challenge.
Matt: The new D&D Nightmare Mode: you're all Lv 1 Bards with only ball bearings. Go!
The Metagaming Pigeons Running Gag.
Matt: Can we please make Metagaming Pigeons a thing now?
Liam: Coo, coo, Bonus Action. Coo, coo, Hunter's Mark.
The entire train wreck that is the hospital infiltration; it goes more wildly Off the Rails than anything since Grog and Tary’s potion-buying misadventure in Campaign One. To wit:
- Molly suggests going undercover as a patient, by using his disguise kit to create boils and lesions... on his genitals.
- After spending the better part of an hour on makeup, he decides to cause a bigger, louder scene, so he concocts some “vomit” out of day-old breakfast food and bursts into the clinic (with Fjord in tow) spewing it everywhere, and cuts himself bloody for good measure while crawling around on the floor, all while insisting that he does not need medical attention.
  Molly: YOU HAVE NO LEGAL AUTHORITY OVER ME!
- Molly is ultimately restrained, failing to use Vicious Mockery on an orderly, and tossed into a locked room.
- Meanwhile, Fjord attempts to convince the head physician that he’s just shit his pants in the chaos as a pretext to “go to the bathroom” and rifle through the doctor’s paperwork.
- While all this is happening, Caleb (disguised as a half-orc woman) and Nott (disguised as Caleb’s baby) attempt their own infiltration. They’re swiftly chased out and the guard called down upon them.
- Molly, still locked in a room, attempts to jimmy the window pane out of its frame. He fails and is forced to resort to a Super Window Jump, which ends in the guard being called again. Afterwards, Jester pries the glass shards off his coat, to which Molly protests that "some of those are sequins".
- Finally, a disguised Fjord manages to get into the head doctor’s office and grabs the first paperwork he can find before making a narrow escape. Turns out it’s not the handwriting sample they had intended to retrieve, making the entire mission a total waste of time. This is not lost on Jester and Beau.
  Beau: He spent an hour to cosplay his dick!
- The cherry on top is Jester's Stating the Simple Solution moment which shows the entire exercise was basically pointless.
  Jester: Did you go in and say "Can I speak to Ren?" and then somebody else go in his office while somebody was in the front asking to talk to Ren?
After an Epic Fail at throwing a grappling hook at the roof, Beau decides to jump the roof herself. When the others protest, she says this, in reference to the last time Marisha tried to recklessly jump her character from a high distance:
Beau: It's fine, we're basically gods.
As Nott uses Mage Hand to move a rug, Matt drops a Player Nudge that Mage Hand is very good for setting grappling hooks on roofs. Sam turns it into in-universe dialogue.
Nott: Shut up, Ulog!
While the Rug of Smothering is enveloping Nott, any damage it takes is shared with her. Because she, in-universe, doesn't know this, Beau attacks it anyway.
Nott: I'M HURTING, YOU CAN REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE!
The rug releases Nott and immediately envelops Beau.
Beau: Hey guys, we need to get this thing off Nott-OH SHIT!
A few turns later, while Beau is still smothered by the rug.
Beau: [Muffled, from inside the rug] Guys, I think he got this rug in Marquet, it looks Marquesian!
- And after she's freed, heavily injured, her main concern is avoiding getting her blood on the rug. Even though the rug is shredded to bits at this point.
When Nott gets paralysed by a trap, Sam takes a page out of Travis' book from the previous campaign and holds the one pose for several minutes.
The cast realizes that the assailant at the cliffhanger is a Xhorhas assassin because of the descriptions in "The Courting of the Crick" given in the previous episode. Liam's reaction?
Liam: Trust the porn!
All: Trust the porn!
Matt: Always trust the porn.

Episode 13: Lost & Found

Continuing Sam's trend of bad accent impressions in sponsor plugs, he does this week's promo for "Da Dee n Dee Bee-yaand" in a Chicago accent, in honor of his then-upcoming appearance at a convention there. Of course, because by his own admission his Chicago accent is terrible it comes out sounding less like someone from Chicago and more like Coach Z.
When trying to get information about the drow they just defeated, the party goes through Marisha's comprehensive notes on "The Courting of the Crick," leading to the realization that they are using porn as their research material in order to think on what to call him, using the book's drow love interest as a basis. It's as ridiculous as it sounds.
After Nott has used Silent Image to distract a crowd away from the party's theft of the dodecahedron:
Liam: I wish I could be a fly on the wall when those wizards hear this story from the Crownsguard, just like- [belegueared frown]
Matt: I don't know, it just flew in the air, grew big, made sauce and disappeared!
Marisha: It was just like that cat I kicked the other day.
Liam: Yes, yes, very good. Take a lollipop from the bowl and get out.
After the commotion in the Tri-Spire, Beau drives off some kids who were planning to loot a store in the chaos. Later, Nott passes the same kids, and hears them commenting "that woman was such a bitch".
Sam: I know exactly who they're talking about.
As the group discusses everything that's happened, Caleb (who's watching over the dodecahedron in the secret cellar) seems to go slightly stir-crazy and begins talking to the skeleton, creating a grumbling voice for the skull. He even calls it Yorick!
While testing out the gear they took from the drow, Beau attacks Molly, who's trying out the longsword. She gets him in the eye with her staff, and he retaliates by hitting her in the head with the flat of the blade.
Molly: Any effect?
Beau: Yeah, a fucking headache!
Molly: My God, it works!
While the conversation between the group about trust is pretty serious and intense, it does give us this little gem after Beau goes off on Nott, prompting the group to note that she's making progress in being more polite:
Beau: I mean, not as nice as what they said, if [Caleb] ever does anything to get me fucking locked up I will beat him so fucking bad his ancestors on the next plane won't fucking recognize him.
Nott: That's very nice, Beau.
Beau: Thanks, I’m trying real hard.
Nott: Yeah, I could tell that there was at least six more "fuck"s in there that you held back. That's progress.
The sequence where Jester slowly but surely annoys her way into Claudia's office is quite amusing:
Jester: Claudiaaa... Blink once- (pauses) Knock- (pauses again) Say you're not okay if you're not okay cause you sound weird.
Claudia: I am fine. Do not worry.
- Despite Claudia's reassurances, Jester becomes convinced something is off and goes for the doorknob, but the door turns out to be locked.
Liam: Cue the horror strings.
Taliesin: I have had this roommate.
Travis gets the names of The Leaky Tap and The Evening Nip mixed up in his head, ending up with "The Leaky Nip":
Laura: That's gonna be me in a few months!
The Mighty Nein goes to buy a lead-lined box from a blacksmith, which Jester tries to explain away as a birthday gift for her mother, who loves lead boxes. Since making one takes too long for the party's liking, they try again at Pumat Sol's shop. Jester prepares to launch into the same story as before, but cuts herself off mid-way through, not even bothering with the ruse.
While on the way to Pumat Sol's shop Jester begins to share her reservations about him and her suspicions. When asked Laura has to clarify that this is out of game and her sole reasoning is that she had a nightmare where Pumat Sol betrayed them.
Taliesin: Clarota aftershocks.
While they're there, they notice that one of the Pumats is reading a book, which he reveals to be called "The Daring Trials and Tribulations of Sir Taryon Darrington".
Pumat: Yeah, this has got to be fiction. I mean, he travels 'round with this big construct called "Dotty".
Beau's facial expressions and inability to comprehend what she was seeing when meeting the Pumat Sols was gold. Particularly when Fjord just pats her on the shoulder like he's comforting a confused child.
Jester joins Fjord's latest attempt to get Beau to be polite and coaxes a smile out of her. Nott isn't buying it:
Nott: What is that crazy expression? I saw your gums for a second! It was freaky!
- Jester then uses the Wand of Smiles on her to keep it going. Marisha spends the next few minutes acting out a very confused cheerfulness, while everyone else is weirded out both in and out of character.
  Beau: (mid-conversation, brightly) I feel like it's all gone to shit!
Cree, an employee of the Gentleman, recognizes Molly and calls him by a completely different name. Molly — who, to be clear, is a bright purple tiefling covered in tattoos with the loudest fashion sense imaginable — tries to deflect by saying he "just has one of those faces."

Episode 14: Fleeting Memories

The entirety of Sam's weekly charity announcement, starting with the streamers and silly string and devolving from there.
- Liam remarks that his silly string is actually hairspray, and Sam realizes that he bought the wrong thing at the store. Taliesin promptly suggests that Liam should have used a lighter.
Nott and Caleb go to get friendly with an Ogre, and Nott tells one of her trademark terrible jokes. Matt confesses afterwards that he had the Ogre make an Intelligence Check to see whether it got the joke or not. It did not. And then Jester uses the Wand of Smiles, forcing Matt to do an amazing, and painful-looking, impression of a stern Ogre slowly smiling.
The Running Gag of the party trying to claim Jester is doing various disgusting things while her player isn't there. Everyone knows Laura is going to kill them for it later.
- Matt, master of voices, has some trouble acting for Jester, not only struggling with her accent but also with what she would do, due to her chaotic nature. Liam takes over for him midway through the episode and does a frighteningly accurate impression of Jester.
After returning to the Leaky Tap, Horace reveals he's been reading Tusk Love. Fjord asks if the pictures are any good. There aren't any.
Fjord: The fuck are you readin' it for then?
Marisha: Your Grog is showing.
While most of the party's questions to Molly and Yasha under the Zone of Truth are serious, Jester adds a few of her own such as "is there anyone in this group you find attractive" or "have you ever pooped your pants". Molly immediately answers the first with a Blunt "Yes" before realising the question was actually for Yasha.
- Molly has, in fact, pooped his pants.
Molly: And it was worth it, every time.
Molly's backstory has more than a passing resemblance to the basic set-up of Blindspot, which leads to this exchange when the party is discussing Molly's tattoos:
Marisha: (to Ashley) C'mon, Patterson, c'mon. Help us out here right now. This is your day job!^note
Ashley: Well, if I look at my tattoo database...
At the end of the Zone of Truth conversation (which the entire party, apart from Fjord and Beau, was affected by), Nott says it was fun and they should do this every evening.
Kara, on leaving for the time being, tells the group that they’re "in bed one way or the other". Beau's reaction is... predictable, but the abrupt turnaround is what really makes it.
Beau: Well...
Fjord: Leave that one alone.
Beau: Alright.
Beau tells Caleb to get her shuriken when he goes out shopping, and gets rather intense about it. Caleb's utterly deadpan reply is gold.
Beau: Do not fuck me here, Caleb, do not fuck me!
Caleb: Not interested, but I will ask about the items.
- While running the errand, Caleb tries to convince Yasha that she should give the shuriken to Beau because she would appreciate it more from her. Yasha does not catch on to his intentions, much to Caleb's frustration, which is noticed by Beau upon their return:
Beau: (after getting back her change) Why are you acting so weird about this?
Caleb: I am just weird in general.
When trying to explain Pumat Sol to Yasha, Caleb tells an accidental joke. Molly admits it's Actually Pretty Funny despite him not being joking.
Fjord: You'll like this. Pumat Sol is— how would you describe? Unique?
Caleb: Well, not one-of-a-kind.
Pumat Prime isn't quite as magnanimous as his simulacrae, even throwing some sass at the party:
Molly: Two vials of holy water is perfect, that's exactly what I was looking for.
Pumat: Well look at that, it's like it was meant to be. Straight up destiny.
Yasha asks to buy healing potions:
Pumat: We've got maybe two more, but you gotta give us time to restock, your friends here have been mighty... mighty hungry.
Yasha: (deadpan) Well, they're the Mighty... Nein.
- What cracks the cast up even more than the pun itself is Ashley's immediate head shake at her own joke.
- Also amusing is that Yasha's awkward attempt at haggling actually nets her a discount, succeeding where Fjord, whose charisma is much higher, previously failed, and twice at that.
When Molly gives Nott a holy water flask, he snarkily asks if she's thrown anything before. Nott responds in kind:
Nott: No, I've never thrown anything before in my life! (throws a gold coin at Molly's head which misses and falls into the water)

Episode 15: Where The River Goes

Sam's D&D Beyond jingle this time is a folk song about the number "one", in honour of them donating $100 to 826LA for every Natural 1 then roll. He really stretches the limits of fitting "one" into his Call-and-Response Song, but the funniest is when he drops in:
Sam: (quickly) What will the Washington team do when they face the cowboys?
Travis: LOOOOO OOOOSE!!!!
Nott is asked if she remembers the swimming lessons she had before.
Beau: Do you remember the techniques we taught you?
Nott: Yes, it's called "I wear this ring of Water Walking".
As the group debates what to do with a spiral staircase:
Beau: I'm always a fan of going down.
Nott: ...That's gross.
- What makes it better is Ashley (and implicitly Yasha) nods to Beau at that.
Crosses over with awesome, Nott manages to disarm a dart trap... with a brass doorknob.
- Really, the whole exercise with the trapped hallway is hilarious. Nott checks for traps and finds nothing. Caleb sends Frumpkin over, with no issues. Nott follows- and sets off a trap that not only wasn't triggered by Frumpkin because he was too light, but Nott completely missed because she only checked for traps in the stairwell. After taking a bolt in the leg, she manages to break the second one (with the doorknob).... and completely misses the third. Because she's taking too long, Yasha gets fed up and just charges down the hallway, not only taking a bolt from the third trap, but ALSO from the first (which has reset). The rest of the party makes it through... except for Beau. She attempts to catch a bolt from the third trap (which has, again, reset) and succeeds... nearly. Only suffering 2 points of damage. Nott sums up the whole thing thusly:
Nott: I am SO sorry. I did NOT handle that very well, and I, um, I.... I was told to check for traps, and I missed MANY of them, and... I will strive to do better in the future, and I'm sorry, and... THIS one? This one's on me.
The innuendos continue...
Jester: I am good at finding holes.
Beau uses her staff as a lever.
Beau: It's like a simple tool.
Molly: Is that your new nickname? Simple tool.
Beau: ...Okay, that's fair.
The Gelatinous Cube rolls a 0 on Initiative.
This is the innuendo episode, it seems. Nott feels strangely conflicted about fighting a cube for some reason, and Sam adds in some Black Comedy as it oneshots Jester
Sam: Jester, like all beautiful women, succumbed to The Cube.
Taliesin: ...what?
- When Fjord goes to revive Jester with a healing potion, Liam encourage him to "put his tusk in there". The delirious tiefling then thanks "Oskar" for saving her.
Liam is very visibly pleased when Caleb, thanks to a Natural 20 on his Investigation check, finds that one book survived the lab owner's paranoid destruction of all his knowledge, leading Sam to quip that Liam "just got an erection".
Matt: I heard it. Just like... (knocks under the table)
Travis: Oh, come on, it's more like... (knocks much more lightly)
Liam: Hahahaa. No, the first one was right.

Episode 16: A Favor in Kind

Sam's D&D Beyond skit, an ad from the 1980s this time, is, as usual, comedy gold.
Ashley/Gail: And now [D&D] is even better with D&D Beyond. With high-speed internet, Wi-Fi or a smartphone, you can access your stats and more on your iPad or laptop!
Laura/Mrs. Henderson: Have any of those things been invented yet?
Ashley/Gail: Gag me with a spoon, Mrs. Henderson!!
Yasha tries to reason with the shadowy entity, but falls victim to Fridge Logic.
Yasha: I know we started out on the wrong foot. (Beat, turns to the rest of the group) I don't think this thing has feet.
- After the battle, the party examines a journal they found in the room which confirms that the entity didn't have feet.
The Mighty Nein's resident healer looking out for number one:
Laura: I'm going to cast Sanctuary on... who's the lowest?
Sam: (whispering) You.
Laura: On myself.
Travis: (jokingly) Aww, how considerate.
Nott has Beau cover her in oil to squeeze through a small gap. Nott emerges in Siff's burial chamber and proceeds to get covered in ashes, now stuck to her due to the oil. And then she triggers a trap that poisons her.
Caleb: How are you doing in there?
Nott: (weakly) ...Fine.
- Sam finally remembers to have Nott use Mage Hand to open chests.
  Matt: There we go!
A high roll on an Investigation Check leads Beau to find a book with magical writing in it. She hands it to Caleb, saying it has "stuff" in it for him, but he misunderstands:
Caleb: I'm not really into smut, that's a bit of a ruse.
Beau: [sighs] It's unfortunate, actually.
Caleb: I mean, more than normal, you know. Within reason.
Beau: Sure sure.
Nott and Molly get into another little discussion regarding sharing loot while they're "on the clock", with Nott fervently denying that she would ever steal from the group. Caleb tries to get them back on track by having them add the treasure to the pile so he can start identifying it all. Cue Nott:
Nott: I'm poisoned.
Caleb: How much you care to drink is on you.
Having identified the magical greatsword, Caleb suggests Yasha take it. Upon finding out that the weapon was previously used to execute mages, Jester wonders if it is cursed, prompting Yasha to speak to it. After a moment, she shakes the blade and then holds it next to her ear, listening for a response, before tentatively concluding that it is not cursed.
Nott starts handing out the rings she found to the group, but obviously wants to keep most of them for herself.
Nott: Beau, you're naturally beautiful, so I'll just-
Beau: Give me a damn ring.
Nott: ...dammit.
Caleb does an Insight Check on Fjord while the latter shares what he knows about the Crawling King. Despite a high roll from Liam, Matt says Fjord "appears to be telling the truth".
Travis: (smugly) As per usual.
Despite being tired/out of spell slots, the Mighty Nein decides to split up, with one half, consisting of Fjord, Jester, Beau and Molly, going to explore a little further downriver while the other half, consisting of Yasha, Nott and Caleb, stays behind. Naturally, the players lampshade what a terrible idea this is.
Caleb: You know, if need be, the Mighty Drei also sounds very cool.
While the adventurous half of the group is investigating caves behind waterfalls, Liam takes Sam's flask and turns the "comedic genius" glued onto it into "comedick genius".
After emerging from the alcove behind the waterfall, Fjord is soaked to the skin, slicking back his wet hair and everything. Jester approves... and then completely ruins the romantic mood by lifting him up out of the water by his armpits.
When everyone is asked to leave the table except for Travis as Fjord has another dream sequence, Marisha yells "Fuck that Kraken!", to which Taliesin replies "Whoa, that's a whole different show".
The subject of Fjord's lack of tusks comes up, forcing the half-orc to admit he's been filing them down since he was a kid because he used to be bullied for them. Liam responds to this moment of vulnerability by immediately Insight checking Fjord, to the amusement of the others.
Marisha: "My childhood damage..." "INSIGHT CHECK!"
- And then there's Yasha's response:
Yasha: Did you... kill any of the children that made fun of you?
The party discusses hiding the sword they found from the Gentleman:
Caleb: So, cloak on your back, sword under cloak-
Jester: -Nott on the sword, sword up the butt!... just like a puppet.
Nott tries to pull a fast one on the Gentleman:
Nott: We found exactly six rings, for you.^note
Travis: You are not Scanlan anymore!
Since the Mighty Nein return to the Evening Nip at a pretty early hour in the morning, the Gentleman has to be woken by Sorah. However, from what little the party overhears, it's clear that he was already awake and enjoying company. Jester can't help commenting on it (and appears impressed), leading the Gentleman to innocently quip that he was "having breakfast".
- Made even better by the Brick Joke at the end of that conversation:
  The Gentleman: Now shove off. I need to finish my breakfast... and my breakfast.
  Travis: [laughs] ...Baller.
How does the group hides the fancy new sword they found from the Gentleman? By having Yasha hold Nott in such a way that it looks like Nott is just being held by her. Surprisingly enough, it actually works!
In the previous episode, D&D Beyond pledged to donate $100 to the 826LA charity for every natural 1 our heroes roll. This was already creating some amusing Mood Dissonance, as critical fails are now cause for celebration. But then Marisha rolls a natural 20:
Sam: Um, unfortunately, we have to take a hundred dollars away from 826LA. Sorry, kids! It's really a shame.
Matt: (mock-worried) We didn't think this through!
The ladies of the Mighty Nein end up terrorizing an innocent young town crier with absolutely zero provocation:
- Yasha yanks the scroll out of the crier's hands and gets mad at her when it only has the headlines she already read out and no further information... which was exactly what the crier had been trying to tell her.
- Beau then grabs the girl by the collar of her shirt and ruthlessly interrogates her about the whereabouts of the Victory Pit, one of the attractions of the upcoming Harvest Festival, information that the town crier has no reason to hide in the first place.
Crier: I don't know!
Beau: Tell me. YOU KNOW.
- Finally, when the crier runs off terrified, Jester immediately starts imitating her, using bastardized headlines.
Jester: The third of the Fessuran is the end of the Harvest... Hide your kids, hide your wife!
To see how things are at the physician's office that they infiltrated previously, Fjord disguises himself and adopts a Sean Connery accent, which he almost instantly loses (this then prompts Liam, Taliesin and Sam to all do their own Sean Connery impressions).
- When Fjord mentions the Myriad to the clerk, they immediately make their way to the nearest crownsguard to have him arrested, but Fjord disguises himself as a beautiful woman while they're gone. Travis does a rather comical impression of a scared woman as the clerk and the crownsguard return and pass him, which leads to Laura and Ashley doing their best 'woman clutching her pearls' at one another.
When Jester goes to the temple of the Raven Queen, she attempts to place a false mustache and a wig onto the statue, write "the Traveller was here" on the base of the statue, and leave a pamphlet about the Traveller there. She unfortunately gets caught before she can even affix the mustache. She ultimately decides to leave a pamphlet in one of the bowls since she’s trying to find where to put it, and Taliesin helpfully notes that a cadaver just entered the building.
Molly and Beau decide the first night after the job's success to trip on drugs they bought some time ago, after earlier that day being told by the Gentleman to "lay low for awhile" as he expunged their involvement in the High Richter's death:
Matt: In the best interest of keeping a low profile for the next few days, you both wander out into the city streets, altered on-
[entire cast cracks up]
Marisha: With our hoods up and our boring cloaks!
Caleb tries to ask Jester if she'd let him inspect the Beacon in her magic haversack, but his attempts at being vague end up sounding like Accidental Innuendo ("special package"), and she thinks he's coming on to her. After she leaves, Caleb stares at himself in the mirror, completely red-faced with a dumbfounded expression, for 30 seconds.
- And when Caleb later goes to Jester to experiment with the Beacon, Nott acts like a concerned mother giving advice to two young people about to have sex for the first time, even asking them to make a "safe word". Nott continues to act like a Shipper on Deck afterwards, and Jester tells her "[her] son is just the cutest!", which Caleb overhears and finds incredibly confusing, before getting awkward and immediately leaving to go to bed... before realising she's in his room, so she should be leaving.
Yasha tries to pawn off her old sword at Pumat Sol's and realizes it's not worth very much.
Yasha: But it's been touched by the moon!
Pumat: And I'm touched by the sun every day.
Despite Fjord's teachings, Beau continues to struggle with social graces:
Zeenoth: Are you here for more training?
Beau: Just find Dairon. (Beat, remembers Fjord's advice and tries smiling) Thank you.
Zeenoth: (disturbed) That's something... Manners. That's new. I'm proud of-
Beau: (drops the smile) Just go find Dairon.

Episode 17: Harvest Close

Sam's promo this time takes the "character" Gale from the previous episode's 80's commercial and gives her her own sitcom, You've Got Gale.
Liam: I just got a text alert, they just revoked his Emmy.
- The best part is the show tackling "serious issues".
Mrs Henderson: Gale... Your friend from school was just in a car accident. She was... drunk driving.
Gale: [Sadly] Gag me with a spoon Mrs Henderson...
Mr Henderson: [In complete seriousness] Yes Gale... gag us all... with a spoon.
When Fjord knocks on the girls door to see if they are awake Jester shouts his name at the top of her lungs to invite him in while Beau groans not to come in.
Matt describes the new owner of the Leaky Tap as a woman with hair just past the chest area. Laura immediately starts snickering about it.
Matt: Respectfully choosing words, Laura. "Past her heaping bosom", what do you want me to say?!
- Taliesin slowly reaches over and takes away the bowl of tuna salad Laura had been eating, as if cutting her off.
  Taliesin: I think you've had enough. It's making you weird.
The Mighty Nein's idea of appropriate subjects for breakfast conversation in crowded inns on festival mornings include:
- At what point a body stops being a person and starts just being a thing
- Cannibalism
- The level of difficulty involved in cannibalism. More the physical determination required than any sort of moral/ethical concerns
- Fjord's attempt to quietly leave the conversation is interrupted by Molly ordering Fjord "Don't you dare have any fun without us!"
Fjord rolls three Natural 1's in a row when trying to play trebuchet at the carnival.
- The results? His first tossed sandbag hits the mother of a small child in the audience. The second gets caught on his armor, ripping the bag and covering Fjord in sand. For the third, Yasha and Jester pick up Fjord like one of the kids who tried the game earlier. Cue third Natural 1...
Matt: So... Jester, Yasha. How do you want to do this?
- The group as a whole rolled a record thirteen Natural 1s in this episode, with every player including Matt rolling at least one.
- Travis's increasingly exasperated reactions to the Nat 1's deserves mention:
Travis:(on the first one) I didn't need that disadv- that's a natural one.
Travis: (on the second roll) *rolls, gestures that the number isn't that bad* *rolls again* *disbelieving laughter* "That's a another natural one!"
Travis: (on the third roll) Two shit throws in a row, can't get any fucking worse... *rolls* *immediately puts his face in his hand as Liam erupts with glee*
- Immediately after Fjord's failure, Mollymauk goes and because it's Taliesin, his lowest roll is a 19.
Jester manages to successfully deface The Allhammer's anvil with big pink painted hearts and "The Traveler was here" written in pink paint.
After Yasha wins a bag of silver pieces in the hammer game and starts counting them to make sure it's worth what the owners promised, Caleb starts counting them in the distance out of habit.
- Immediately after that, Jester also wins the contest, rolling a Nat 20 and moving the boulder further than Yasha did, resulting in the game being shut down while those running it check to make sure something wasn't wrong that was making it too easy.
Nott gives the two wooden swords she won in the archery game to Beau. Very drunk, she starts twirling them around and says "hey look, I'm Molly!"
Caleb tries to have Frumpkin listen in on a conversation again, but Frumpkin gets caught. The entire cast is bracing themselves for Frumpkin to get disintegrated again, only for a page to gently pick him up and put him outside.
Matt: Not everyone goes around kicking cats!
- Nott then channels Metal Gear Solid and creates an illusory box around herself to listen in, but only gets a 4 for Perception, so Matt has to skip most of his planned exposition about the newly-declared war with Xhorhas.]
Nott: I'm in a box!
Beau's reaction to Yasha's sudden doubling in size during the beginning of the tournament:
Beau: I've had this dream before...
In the second round of the tournament, the Nein face two giant white wolves. Beau uses her action to throw a wooden sword in between the two of them and yell "fetch!" Matt has her make an animal handling check for the heck of it.
- To make it even more ridiculous, the wolves are too smart for an animal handling check and ignore the sword completely.

Episode 18: Whispers of War

Caleb chanting "we are the Mighty Nein" to himself as he ducks for cover behind a wall and hits the hill giant with an almost completely ineffective Firebolt (doing a grand total of 1 damage) is pretty amusing.
The hill giant runs towards Nott and yells "TINY THING!" Beau, on her turn, runs up to the giant, points at his penis, and says the same. Matt has her roll an Intimidation Check for insulting his dick size. She rolls a Natural 1 and an 8, so the Giant doesn't get it and actually thinks Beau is agreeing with him.
- When the Giant turns on Nott Sam's response is to reach under the table and grab a second giant flask, which he places next to his regular flask as a defensive wall which he pretends to hide behind.
The Stubborn Stock contains a member that Matt can only describe as "really fucking old".
After a tense conversation between Yasha and two of the city's head mages, in which she reveals way too much, Molly tells her afterwards "It didn't devolve into a punching fight, so that's an improvement". Implying Yasha's attempts at social interaction usually go much worse.
When Nott asks if Yasha really is a Xhorhasian spy, Molly replies.
Molly: You've found out the reason she was in my circus the whole time!
After Jester opens her package from her mother and explains she was originally given 5000 gold.
Nott: Maybe she just didn't want to send 5000 gold in the mail. [Turns to Beau] There are people who steal the mail, you know!
Molly hires two escorts for the night, having no preference as to gender (just telling the innkeeper to send the ones best at conversation and to "surprise him") Cue Fjord awkwardly waiting outside the room "college roommate-style". After Caleb's moment alone with Nott and Beau, Molly provides some much-needed comic relief by returning to the girls' room, wearing only the Platinum Dragon tapestry he bought earlier and carrying the remains of some grapes.
Molly: I am your god, long may I reign! Eat of my fruits!
- During the whole... experience, Taliesin tells Travis that he, as Taliesin, feels his pain, while Molly does not.
Beau takes Caleb to the Cobalt Soul's library, and he reads one of the books for 3 hours.
Caleb: Can you give me 2 more hours?
Beau: I can't. I will literally gouge out my eyes with pencils if I give you 2 more hours.
Caleb: Can you give me 30 more minutes?
Beau: Do you[Nott] have something in your never ending flask?
When those three get back, the others joke that in the time they spent in the library, they've not only left the city, they're in a whole other campaign.
Marisha: What do you mean it's been 17 years, Pumat?
How the Mighty Nein decline lawmaster Orentha's offer to work for the city as legionnaires:
Nott: It's not you...
Jester: ...it's us!
Nott: We're not ready for that kind of commitment.
Orentha: I understand, it's all right.
Nott: I'm sure you will make an adventuring party very happy some day!
Jester: You really will.
Orentha: *sighs* I hope so.

Episode 19: The Gentleman's Path

Sam's sponsor plug this time is for Backblaze, he claims their services run on literal magic and brings in a "fairy" he captured (actually a toy Lightsaber, squeaky chicken plush and light-up dragon toy in a garbage bag), exploiting the Clap Your Hands If You Believe trope to make people visit the Backblaze url, which increasingly Crosses the Line Twice when the "fairy" starts dying.
Jester and Beau get into a fistfight... because they got too amped from watching one happening in the Evening Nip and just decided to start swinging at each other.
- And just when you think it's gonna be a friendly punch-up, Jester uses her first swing to cast Inflict Wounds, which causes a few of Beau's blood vessels in her face and neck to burst. The look on Matt's face when he realizes she just said that she wanted to cast Inflict Wounds is a mixture of amusement and utter horror.
Marisha: "Let's wrestle." "Okay!" *spraying motions* "MACE IN YOUR FACE!"
Matt: "Let's thumb wrestle!" And you shoot him in the head.
- Throughout the whole fight Fjord is running through the crowd and using different horrendous accents to try and get a betting frenzy up, including him betting on both of his teammates as different characters.
The Gentleman gives his opinion on the town of Shadycreek Run:
The Gentleman: Spoken of as a haven for criminals, thieves, murderers, but really, it’s home to the truly free entrepreneurs of Wildemount... and criminals, thieves, and murderers.
Jester leans towards accepting the Gentleman's offer... mostly because it'll take them through Hupperdook, a town she's wanted to visit since looking at the map in Episode 4 because the name sounds funny.
Fjord seems somewhat surprised that the Mighty Nein want to take on both of the Gentleman's assignments (even though one would have them travel quite a ways), but is eventually badgered into acquiescing:
Fjord: Apparently our ambition has no limit. Both it is.
Before leaving the Evening Nip, the group uses the Wand of Smiles on the ogre again, for old times' sake.
Caleb goes back to see Pumat for some more paper to use for transcribing and some incense, so Beau goes along as well to buy the enchanted bracers. Unfortunately, she quickly learns how expensive the bracers are.
Beau: How much?
Pumat: 1200 gold pieces.
Beau: Holy shit, Pumat! The fuck!?
Pumat: What?
Beau: I'll come back when I'm fucking rich, alright?
- Caleb makes sure to correct Beau about addressing Pumat correctly, causing her to do a Verbal Backspace to do so, earning a group response each of the Pumats.
Sam checking his notes and realising they have horses named WC, Loo, John, Crapper, Toilet, and Loaf.
- For quick context, Nott realizes the sixth horse did not have a name, so the group quickly come up with Loaf on the spot. Immediately the group starts chuckling.
Liam and Matt discuss how the group always finds ways to make fun of his names.
Matt: I enjoy it, [turns and glares at the camera] and I'm sure all the Dungeon Masters out there know exactly how I feel when this happens.
Yasha and Beau take watch together. The rest of the table are painfully struggling to contain their laughter and red faces as they all expect the moment to turn romantic, all while the ensuing conversation between the two most socially-awkward members of the party goes exactly how you'd expect.
Travis: That was such... church youth trip flirting.
Ashley: Yeah.
Sam: Great first date.
Matt: And with that, your watch comes uneventful...
Liam: "God's really cool right? Right, right... You wanna make out?"
After their first night on the road, the Nein wake up and have a Seinfeldian Conversation about how awkward The Gentleman's sleep must be with his constantly dripping face.
Nott explains a bit about life in her clan, fully admitting Goblins are mostly terrible creatures and all the horrible stories they've heard about them are true. It quickly goes into Black Comedy.
Nott: With great honestly I can tell you I have never eaten a child.
Taliesin: Insight check!
- This gets a hysterical Call-Back at the end of the episode, when Nott hesitantly admits to Caleb that she did try baby once, by accident: her tribe was passing around a bowl of meat and she ate a bit without knowing what it was. Everyone else is corpsing to various degrees, but Liam, still acting as Caleb, maintains a straight face and slowly reaches over before taking a bit swig from Sam's flask.
The group rolls good perception check to notice a plume of smoke over the hills. Sam and Taliesin take this moment to epically troll the fanbase.
Nott: Listen everyone, this is what happened to me. Here is my definite backstory.
Molly: No, we'll do this later. Do you see the smoke over there?
Nott: —one day—
Molly: (loudly) Everybody, there's smoke over there! We've got to get hold of this right now. There's definitely a plume of smoke. I don't know what it means, I don't know what it's about, it could be a good thing, it could be a bad thing, but we have to stop this conversation right in its tracks!
During the fight with the Ogres, goblins, and wolves, Caleb plays dead according to the "modern literature" gambit he and Nott have. Problem? They never told anyone about this trick so Jester completely freaks out, rushing to heal him and further panicking when the spell (apparently) has no effect.^note Then she drags Caleb away, Matt taking great delight in describing the sticks, rocks, and other things Caleb has to deal with as she does so.
Caleb speaking to Yasha in Celestial provokes humorous reactions from the others, as the players pretend not to understand them:
Beau: I think he's hitting on her.
Having Jester investigate the ogre bodies with a motion of raising their loincloths, Laura asks Matt if they're wearing any underwear. When the answer is no, Jester screams in response to what she sees. Then, after some gesturing from Travis, Laura decides that Jester will be drawing this in her journal.
The group is pushing for some of Nott's backstory, and Nott's response is to attempt to ask for Yasha's by marveling over her wings and wondering where they came from. It doesn't work.

Episode 20: Labenda Awaits

Sam has a minor existential crisis during his D&D Beyond promo this week, as he really thought he'd be doing serious work at this point in his career... Then he gets a call saying he's got two radio ads for "Lord of the Wings", instantly rejuvenating his spirit.
Nott experiments with her endless whisky flask to see if it has a limit, drinking enough to get very drunk. She thinks she should throw up, so Jester shoves a stick down her throat (which Matt describes as "Ren and Stimpy-style"). Which leads to Yasha describing how she always feels like throwing up when seeing someone else vomit, and Molly trolling her by making gagging noises.
Caleb: Okay, looking at the map how much longer is it to our destination?
Travis makes himself laugh when Fjord orders the group to "Saddle up them doggies."
When the Nein wreck their cart, they scramble a bit due to lacking carpenter's tools, before Jester remembers she has the Mending cantrip. She's only able to fix one, so Yasha suggests one of them be the other wheel.
Matt introduces a new NPC, Captain Maximilian from Druvenlode, which Laura abbreviates to "Max Load". Matt groans as yet another of his NPCs falls victim to name mockery, with Liam joking that he should be making scratch marks on his DM screen ("like a prisoner") every time it happens.
Yasha makes an excuse to leave while she and Nott are on watch, saying she needs to take a piss.
Nott: It's okay, I won't look. (out of character) I look.
Seeing Beau doing pushups, Caleb tries for himself. He manages one pushup, then goes back to studying Siff Duthar's tome.
Fjord tries to remove the piece of vegetation stuck in Jester's eye (from a Nat 1 perception check). The others are hyped for a Natural 1, only for him to roll a Natural 20, deftly plucking the impediment from her eye.
Jester: My hero! (swooning) Thank you Oskar, I mean Fjord!
True to form, Laura giggles when Liam has Caleb "tug hard" on the Glove of Blasting.
One of the crocodiles suffers a lot of consecutive damage in one round, but, as Sam quips, "still can't stop thinking about Mollymauk", since Molly had cast Enthrall on it earlier on.
When Nott takes shots at one of the crocodiles, Sam doesn't fully understand how flanking works, and is informed twice after he rolls and misses that he gets advantage because of Yasha flanking, and on his second roll, he hits. The up-and-down emotions as he misses, then hits, then misses, then hits, is compared by Liam to "The Simpsons frogurt scene".
Fjord's Pre-Mortem One-Liner to the crocodile that knocked Nott unconscious is so bad Sam jokes that Nott fails two Death Saving Throws from it.
The party debating the ethics of giving Kiri, a four-year-old Kenku girl, a dagger to protect herself with. Given that they don't know how Kenku aging goes, they look to Nott for guidance since she is considered an adult despite her young age.
Nott: Look, I'm... at least twice her age!
Noticing a crownsguard tailing the group, Beau slows her pace to speak with him. The entire exchange is full of terse replies, awkward pauses, and a few gems.
Guard: I don't like you.
Beau: I get that a lot.
Guard: I can imagine.
- It ends with the guard telling Beau to be on her way. Beau doesn't like being told what to do, so she stays where she is. She and the guard have a thirty-second staredown before the guard just awkwardly heads back to his post. Beau fistpumps in celebration before moving on.
  Liam: What a great scene between husband and wife.
  Taliesin: That was me at 16 with every cop ever. That was great. "This is the tiniest hill and I will die on it" has never ended that well.
  Marisha: This means nothing, and I wanna win.
Febron isn't very... "steadfast" when it comes to his intentions of not going back to the swamp:
Febron: Nightmares I been havin, yeah? Been havin ‘em ever since. Whatever it is, it's gotten in me head!... (frightened sobs) I ain’t goin- it ain’t worth it, not for a hundred coin!
Jester: (flatly) What if we paid you a hundred coin?
Febron: (immediately stops crying) I’ll come for that.
The last part of the episode has Beau and Jester room together, with much hilarity ensuing.
- Beau questions why Captain Maximilian came over and seemed willing to help, causing Jester to think he did so because he was going to flirt with one of them. Beau and Jester assume it was the other, but both quickly agree it was Yasha he was there for. Jester also describes the scene using Tusk Love to explain it, turning a normal encounter into a whimsical scene.
- Beau has a hilarious Do I Really Sound Like That? moment when Kiri imitates her voice.
- Jester decides to summarize all of Tusk Love to Kiri (complete with drawing out pictures), to which Matt describes as; "If you could see a blackbird blush."
Yasha gets stuck in a bedroom with the sleazy Febron, and immediately proceeds to take none of his shit. To make things even better, Ashley is casually chewing bubblegum during the scene, and pops it just when Yasha is denying Febron the opportunity to sleep in the bed with her, much to the amusement of the other players.

Episode 21: Stalker in the Swamp

The innkeeper says breakfast will take an hour to make for the party. After the group talks with guest character Callie for a while, Sam chimes in:
Nott: Only 53 more minutes until breakfast is ready!
Callie says cats tend to hate her. Fjord can relate.
Febron sees Callie's dragon claw and freaks out, before admitting it's "still pretty foxy". Jester admires how accepting he is, but he instantly ruins it.
Febron: When you live as long as I have, you kind of realize beggars can't be choosers.
Molly: Aaaaaand back into the pit.
Jester writes up a "release form" for Callie... or rather, draws it. She draws all the horrible things that might happen to her, like being burned, pulled apart by gators, eaten by a howling monster... and uses her mother's ink to "make it really gory."
As a cover story around Callie and Febron, the Nein pass off Nott as being Fjord's daughter. This leads to numerous funny side exchanges, such as Nott asking for her "allowance", and Callie remarking upon seeing Nott drink from her flask that Fjord is "very liberal" in his parenting.
Caleb decides to ask Callie about her magical abilities, resulting in the list of specialties Callie has being best summed up as: lots of fire and acid.
- Callie then asks Caleb what kind of magic he specializes in. Given the number of "edubation" jokes in earlier episodes, the Nein immediately start snickering, only for Kiri to get the joke in first.
  Kiri: (imitating Jester) Wrapped around his weenie.
Callie decides to ask Caleb about how he got his magical powers, so she asks if he also has dragon blood like she does.
Caleb: Nein.
Callie: Oh! That's good!
Nott and Molly: Nine dragons.
Callie: You meant the Zemnian "nein". Not the number.
Liam: Step off, Tiamat!
Everyone cracks up when Callie refers to Caleb as "Mr. Caleb". She later called Febron "Mr. Creepy Pervert".
Febron: Firstly, I resent that.
Callie: Do you really?
Febron: ...Nah.
- It's made pretty clear that despite her politeness, even Callie doesn't like Febron.
Callie: (during a discussion over whether or not Febron is actually being helpful) I'm sure he's trying his best.
Febron: Thank you!
Callie: Don't thank me, you're weird.
After finding a hostile, venus flytrap-like plant, Callie shoots a Fireball at it. The plant, while damaged, proceeds to start moving towards the group. Cue the entire party firing ranged attacks at it (except Beau and Yasha, who lack range, and Nott, who was away from the group) in a panic that results in Fjord killing it with a 27-damage Witch Bolt. Matt doesn't even have them roll initiative; it's just a brief cluster of spell-tossing in whatever order they yell out in.
When Calianna casts Shape Water, Jester is super impressed. Nott is less so, claiming Caleb could do that too (he can't, he doesn't know the spell). It quickly becomes a "My kid is better than your kid" situation.
Nott's suggestion for trapping the troll.
Nott: We do a little circley-poo, have Callie in the middle as bait, then we spring the trap!
Beau: What's the trap?
Nott: I don't know, I've been drinking a lot.
This exchange before Jester's first Speak With Dead.
Nott: Hi, this is my friend Jester. Jester, this is a dead body.
Fjord throws two Eldritch Blasts at a troll that 1) splashes poison when it gets physically wounded, and 2) is in melee with Beau, knocking Beau unconscious. Cue meta Black Humor:
Matt: Is that your turn?
Travis: I cast Regret.
Beau calls out to Kiri for help after being snatched by the swamp troll. When it's the young kenku's turn she can only pull out her knife and watch.
Beau: Kiri, help me!
Kiri: (brandishing knife and panicking) FUCK!
Nott's Hideous Laughter joke for this episode.
Nott: What's a swamp frog's favourite drug? Croakaine!
While fighting the fish-people, a giant Beau gives a Pre-Mortem One-Liner (in a really deep voice) "It's fish-kebabs!" Caleb says from behind her "This is everything I was hoping for".
Against the fish people, Fjord is knocked unconscious. Jester has her Duplicity clone hug him so she can heal him with Cure Wounds. Beau, who is currently large thanks to Caleb, ruins the moment.
Matt: You look up and see the faintly illusory image of Jester holding you.
Fjord: Thanks... thanks Jester...
Marisha: ...and then big me over top of her.
Fjord: OH GOD! What's wrong with Beau?!
Some beautiful Mood Whiplash when the bowl drama winds down and our heroes agree to try to destroy the bowl, basically throwing one idea after another at the metaphorical wall to see what metaphorically sticks - and Yasha suggests her Dispel Magic attack since it's a magically enchanted bowl. It works. And then Calianna tells them that the cult may end up targeting Yasha for it. While all the players go into a full meltdown.
Travis: This shit's got nuts in it!

Episode 22: Lost Treasures

Sam has a flask sticker referencing the last episode's bowl drama.
Jester is a good influence on Kiri.
Jester: If someone says "are you nice?", you say "Yes, I am very sweet."
Kiri: Yes, I am very sweet.
Jester: And when someone says something you don't like, you say "go fuck yourself"!
Kiri: Go fuck yourself!
- Nott chimes in and tries to teach her to make an airhorn sound when she's really excited. Caleb poofs out Frumpkin just to have him express extreme displeasure at this sound.
Caleb asks Yasha for advice on how to deal with being in a group. Yasha's advice on how to talk to people soon turns into telling him manners and habits like a mother, such as "eat with your mouth closed" and "wash your hands". Caleb, with full seriousness, writes these down.
Yasha: Wash your hair, when you can...
Caleb: But... it just rained. This is the cleanest I've been in weeks.
(Yasha tries to speak and fails to form any words beyond a high pitched squeak while everyone else, out of character, starts corpsing)
Yasha offers to shave Caleb's face... with her 5-foot greatsword. Caleb lies on the ground and holds his breath.
Yasha: You might not want to hold your breath, this will take a while and you might pass out.
Caleb: ...That might be better.
Everyone fawns over Caleb post-shaving.
Liam: Caleb's inner monologue is [as Caleb, faintly] "I want to shrivel up and die".
- It's suggested that other members of the party may take advantage of Yasha's barbering services; Jester may want her bikini line done. Yasha has done that before, as Molly confirms.
Fjord goes off to tie the rope, and he rolls a 2 for stealth. Everyone prepares for hilarious failure, then Matt one-ups him (one-downs him, maybe?) with the Merrows' Natural 1 Perception check. Fjord splashed a lot and loudly tripped and bonked his elbow, but the Merrows were too distracted by talking to each other.
Kiri's talent for mimicry might be a little too good, as when she recites something she overheard Caleb saying privately, Marisha mentions how she might start rattling off the party's secrets. Prompting this from Travis:
Travis:(completely deadpan) Kiri's gotta die.
Nott stays behind for the Merrow fight, both to protect Kiri and because she's afraid of water. She still gets turns during the fight though, so we get repeated cuts back to her doing nothing. One time, she considers swimming in, but Sam rolls a die and, seeing the result, decides to have her hesitate and take a big swig from her flask. Next time we cut back to Nott, she's drunkenly rambling to Kiri about how everyone's probably fine and how they would've called if they needed her.
- In the first round of combat, Nott actually messages Caleb to know how the fight is going. Cue the following exchange:
Nott: Are you guys alive and do you need anything? You can reply to this message.
Caleb: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Nott: Uh-oh.
Fjord's Blink proves to be a double-edged sword later in the fight, with him blinking out just as he's in position to attack things. The cast compares it to lag-spikes in an MMORPG.
Laura's rolls are terrible before the break, so she stomps off in a huff after a turn of nothing hitting.
Laura: I'm PREGNANT.
- Then Laura returns and frustratedly revives Caleb by poking him with her toe.
- Her luck doesn't improve when the game resumes. She casts Prayer of Healing on the group for 3d8 worth of healing... and rolls a 1, 1 and 2.
Laura: THIS GAME'S GONNA MAKE ME GO INTO LABOUR!
When Matt contemplates whether to have the Merrow priest cast Thunderwave or not, Travis narrates it like a nature documentary (as the Blinked Fjord isn't a valid target).
Travis: It's shallow priest discretion. What will he do? Look as the DM muddles his choices. Considers consequences. Plans his retribution. As his hair dangles beautifully in front of his face...
Matt: (points at Travis in a warning fashion)
Travis: (doing jazz hands, singing) I'm in another dimension!~
While Fjord is talking about his backstory, battle music suddenly starts playing from Matt's sound system. The players assume something ominous is going on, only for it to be a genuine playlist mishap. Travis then jokes about Fjord going One-Winged Angel and turning on the party.
Caleb shares a very awkward hug with Beau after she apologises for the events of the last episode. The others cringe, and Kiri adds in, with perfect timing.
Kiri: Welcome to the Mighty Nein!
- Beau maybe goes a bit too far.
Beau: Friend. You're a friend. Yeah.
Fjord: [Cough] Quitwhileyou'reahead.
Marisha: And I walk away.
- As the two of them hug, Caleb looks back to Yasha and Beau looks back to Fjord to see if they're doing it right. Both of their tutors give thumbs up.
  - Yasha mimics patting someone on the back. Caleb interprets this as patting Beau on her face.

Episode 23: Have Bird, Will Travel

Sam doesn't do the promo this time - he's forgotten something from his car. Laura takes over... only for the legendary Store-o (definitely not Sam in a mask and holding a pink sword that looks nothing like a dildo) to appear. Laura's reaction is priceless.
Laura: What.
The group spends a good few minutes arguing on how to blow up the troll's house, with the agreement being to have Nott sneak in and throw it. Nott gets in, only to realize something: nobody gave her her a way to light the stick of dynamite. Que the group losing it as Nott comes back telling them the issue.
Nott uses Mage Hand to hover a stick of dynamite into the troll's tree lair. As the tree is blown to smithereens, Matt asks for a pair of scissors so he can cut apart his custom-made terrain. The players are both regretful and amused.
- And after all that, Nott rolls two 1s for the dynamite's damage. The troll gets knocked down yes, but only two points of damage.
Beau tries to douse the troll in oil, but has to throw the vial to do it. She misses and only douses a pile of skulls. Then Yasha tries to throw a torch at the troll. She also misses, and the torch lands on the exact same spot and lights the skulls on fire.
- Becomes a Brick Joke later when the group proposes a short rest, and Beau points out that they already have a campfire.
Molly attempts to shout a taunt at the troll, but Taliesin is a little too hyper and ends up completely garbling it.
Jester wraps up the troll's heart with what was essentially its underwear.
The group finds some preserved, likely human muscle, in the troll's lair. Kiri stabs the troll's corpse saying "This means we are friends."
Jester: I think we're a bad influence on her.
Nott: I don't think so. Kiri, do you want some human jerky!
Jester sends a message to the Gentleman telling him, very verbosely, that they completed this task. Matt waits until she's finished to inform her the spell has a limit of 25 words.
- She does it again when she contacts her mother, with the group laughing hysterically at Jester being oblivious to the spells limit again.
Nott and Caleb babysit Kiri, which leads to a nice Call-Back that sends the whole table into laughter.
Caleb: I mean, she's abrasive, but that has its uses. The right tool for the right job. Right, Kiri?
Kiri: Go fuck yourself!
We meet a new character, a dwarf named Smythe Durban. Matt goes into detail how disgusting he is, how he has moss in his beard and fungi in his clothes and seems to be sweating a lot, plus he acts unfriendly and makes weird booze. Naturally, it takes Molly only five minutes or so to start flirting with him. How nasty is he?
Sam: Smythe Derbin is, knows, or has a gimp.
The group decides to stay at a separate inn instead of the one they previously stayed in. Upon seeing the owner, Uma Cole, Fjord puts a bit of charm into talking to her, even kissing her hand.
Travis: Is that a dirty hand?
Uma Cole: Oh no, I keep quite clean.
Travis: I was asking out of character
(the group descends into laughter)
Fjord: Did you give me the dirty hand, ma'am!
Uma Cole is reading a book, but being surprisingly secretive about it. The party, in particular Yasha, really wants to know what it is, by any means necessary. A trainwreck of failed Persuasion checks by Fjord, Caleb, and Yasha's part, and a Sleight-of-Hand checks by Nott via Mage Hand ensues, almost getting them kicked out of the inn. Eventually, they find out the book's title: "Feathered Leather". Which implies Vax had erotic novels written about him.
- How do they find out what the book was? Molly leaves two gold as a bribe, and she tells him. Tallesin is quick to gloat about it by not having Molly tell anyone in the group the name.
Jester tries to trade a gator skin with a merchant, but...
Matt: The gator skin is not cured, or tanned. It's fucking nasty.
When leaving the Crossroads, the Nein run into the exact same group of bandits from Episode 8. Fortunately, the newly-appointed leader recognises them before serious damage can be done and apologises profusely, leading to Mollymauk giving him a set of armour as reward for respecting their prior arrangement (mostly), and the bandits get a lecture from the Nein suggesting that they really should just quit the criminal life while they're ahead and if they really must rob people to survive, to do it the right way.
Beau searches an unconscious bandit and rolls a 20. She only finds a few coins, but feels a hard spot on his stomach that "he should probably get checked".
Matt: He doesn't have anything else, but she rolled a 20 investigation check!
Marisha ends up calling Taliesin "Percy" again by mistake, leading to this gem:
Travis: Stop saying [Percy's] name!
Laura: No, keep saying it. Maybe he'll start rolling better!
Nott uses Silent Image to create an image of a totally normal human male... Chent. He can't dance because he's white, but he can do the Sprinkler (helpfully demonstrated by Marisha for the uninitiated).
Beau sums up what she knows about Hupperdook based on stories she had heard to the Mighty Nein: that it's an industrial town where the populace consisting of mostly gnomes work hard by day and party hard by night. The Nein think she's just bullshitting. But once they reach Hupperdook proper, they find out soon enough that there was truth to those stories after all.

Episode 24: The Hour of Honor

Sam's Dnd Beyond ad this time is... him reading from a file of rejected ad concepts. These include:
- A terrible Talk Like a Pirate one
- One where he does a "Travis impression" and messes up the names of Cowboys players (made funnier by the fact that Travis immediately corrects him)
- An early version of the jingle ("You've got the perfect Wizard, his spells and his supplies, but he burned his entire family to death and now he's traumatised!")
- The results are back, the rash has spread to the groin area.^noteWhoops, that one's in the wrong file.
- One that consists entirely of Sam saying "Matt" repeatedly
- One where he cut up some pictures of Travis and Laura to make a "facial composition" of what their child might look like. The resulting abomination has to be seen to be believed. Marisha can't quite think of who it reminds her of, until, a few minutes later:
  Marisha: Anthony Kiedis! That's who that reminds me of!
Beau buys a pack of firecrackers and immediately throws one on the ground.
Marisha: What happens?
Matt: [Mimes the cracker bouncing uselessly along the ground]
Beau: [After being informed the crackers have a small fuse] Oh, so there's a process.
The bizarre voice Matt does for the one-note flower seller (think Pumat Sol trying to swallow his own tongue) has Travis immediately begging the group to take this guy with them.
Jester goes to play the piano at the Blushing Tankard.
Jester: I knew a lot of good songs growing up. [As Laura] I play "Chopsticks".
[Proceeds to roll an 8 performance check, and plays so badly she scares off the actual piano player]
- Caleb then casts Haste on her while she's playing the piano, resulting in a really fast and surprisingly good rendition of "The Entertainer".
While voicing the female barkeep, Matt has her undo the top button of her shirt to flirt with Molly. He mimics this in real life by actually undoing his own top button and popping it open. The players are both amused and impressed by his commitment, with Taliesin giving him a golf clap.
Fjord immediately regrets his choice of roommate when he sees Molly start drinking. Caleb brings up a weird analogy.
Caleb: He's like a coyote. You know what that is?
[Cue the table breaking down in laughter. Afterwards...]
Caleb: It means he likes to fuck a lot.
Nott: I thought it meant he was nocturnal?
Fjord: You need to work on your analogies.
Molly tosses two coins to the gnome dancers in the tavern, and Beau tries to snatch one of them with Missile Snaring. She needs to make a contested dexterity check against a dancer... and rolls a Natural 1. So as Beau reaches to grab the coin, her vision goes dark. One of the dancers kicked her in the face.
Fjord goes to ask one the innkeeper about her prices for "companionship", and tells her he'd need "companions" for the whole group. She... takes it the wrong way, implying the whole group wants her for the night. Fjord gets so flustered his accent completely breaks.
- The innkeeper is instantly smitten with Fjord, too (who can blame her?), and lays the flirtatious dialogue on thick for the rest of the episode.
Kiri going to a room with Yasha puts a damper on Jester's dance troupe plan. She asks Caleb but he refuses. So she goes to Beau...
Beau: Yeah, I know, I'm your second choice.
Nott: No, third.
After Nott and Beau discuss her backstory, they meet up with the rest of the group in time to hear Caleb finish recounting his dancing experience to Jester.
Jester is listing three of her skills: painting, baking scones (specifically scones), and... something she wants to talk to Fjord about in case he has someone over that night. Laura is very clearly trolling Travis, who is dying of embarrassment in his seat.
Caleb and Beau have a delirious drunken conversation after winning the drinking contest. Drunk Caleb is possibly even funnier than Drunk Nott.
Caleb: [singing] Oh the Mighty Nein is the Mighty Nein, the mightiest Nein there is! Oh the Mighty Nein, the Mighty Nein, the Mighty Nein...
- Later, as Jester is taking Caleb to bed, she tries her best to comfort him, still noticably upset about his Wrong-Name Outburst during their dance. Caleb, who is on the verge of passing out, just repeatedly points out that she's blue.
Beau and Molly on the impromptu waltz, which ends up having Travis and Liam cracking up.
Beau: I will fucking punch you if you try to kiss me.
Molly: Oh, god!
Beau: I know I'm attractive.
Molly: ...Whatever team you're on, I'm not sure I play for that one... It's team Fuck Off, I'm well aware.
Turns out, Molly's Blood Maledict can pull the alcohol out of drunk people. He tries it out on Beau and it immediately sobers her up, something she is not happy about.
Beau: That's a party foul!
The morning after, Beau realizes her coin purse is gone. Marisha fumbles her dialogue and makes it in-character.
Beau: Jester, my coi, my coi, my... FUCK, I'm still hung over!
As the party discusses interrogating Irena, Nott suggests one of the male party members distract her with their "masculine wiles". She immediately nominates Molly.
Molly: (confused) Do I have masculine wiles...?
Nott: You have... pan[sexual] wiles?
Molly: I'm into it! I'll take it.
Beau tries a Good Cop/Bad Cop routine on Ashton and Fitz.
Beau: See this guy [Fjord]? He's super fucking charming. He's going to talk to you first. You don't want to talk to me.
Nott: She's not charming.
Jester: At all! (Throat-Slitting Gesture)
- The two teenagers are reduced to weeping messes by the end of the interrogation, which their boss finds hilarious.
When about to visit the location where their money is, Kiri takes out her knife again.
Kiri: (as Jester) I can send a message!

Episode 25: Divergent Paths

Sam has committed to wearing the same outfit he did in every corresponding episode of the first campaign. In the order he's been wearing the shirts, his 25th outfit was for a Halloween episode. So Sam has to wear his Burt Reynolds costume.
The group have a field day with Matt having to play Fjord and Jester, ranging from them poking fun at how aggressive Matt makes Fjord sound, to them laughing when Matt accidentally refers to someone else while being Jester.
- The group decides to take advantage of the lack of Jester and Fjord to make them pay for the groups expenses during the session. Everyone agrees Laura is totally going to text them over it.
Nott wants to wear heist outfits to break into the prison because, in her words, she really wants to wear a onesie.
Later in the episode...
Sam: My moustache is falling off, so I have to hold it up with another moustache. Produces another fake moustache and sticks it over the first one... then produces his third and final one to make one really long mustache
- Said mega-stache also wants to fall off, so Sam has it on upside-down as a beard a few times.
Nott mentions how, since Clef is out of the room, they could just steal the modified crossbow promised to them as a reward, so they don't have to do the mission. Rissa, Clef's daughter, remarks that she's able to hear everything Nott is saying.
Nott: She's clever.
Beau: No, she just has hearing.
Nott: I know. She's a wily one.
Turns out, Hupperdook's nights are fun the first time, but get old quickly.
Marisha: It's like staying in Vegas for more than 24 hours. You're like "noooooo, not again!"
Even though she's starting to take a level in kindness, some things never change with Beau.
Molly: You're becoming more of a people person, or at least a bird person.
Beau: Fuck you, Molly!
While planning how to handle the Death Machine, Caleb abruptly breaks the fourth wall to congratulate Travis on the birth of his and Laura's baby. The group is rightfully confused at Liam in character speaking to Matt (who's playing Fjord), causing Fjord to bluntly ask what he was talking about.
The groups plan to get some buckets of tar? Have Yasha try to throw Molly to create a distraction so Caleb can use Unseen Servant to grab some tar. Molly ends up rolling badly and crashed onto the ground, yet manages to roll with disadvantage to try and stick the landing. It works, with a bit of Molly hanging onto the outside bars enough to irritate the guards.
Beau decides to throw her entire bag of ball-bearing at the Construct to slow it down. Turns out the Construct doesn't have feet and so it rolls over the ball-bearings, causing them to get sent flying back at her and Nott. After the fight, Beau spends a moment trying to collect them.
Sam asking the important questions.
Sam: Does [the Death Machine] have a butt, Matt?
Matt: You cannot discern what appears to be any sort of rear end or exhaust port.
Sam: Does it poop?
Matt: You'll find out, I'm sure.
After beating the construct, Caleb, and Beau, the two most damaged people during the fight, decide to just take a nap while the others search the prison section. When Caleb gets called to do Detect Magic, Beau yells at them for; "taking away her pillow".
- Shortly after when the group leaves, Beau collapses into Yasha's arms, so Yasha heals her using Healing Hands. Beau proceeds to say that Yasha; "filled her (Beau) with something warm".
Beau's miffed at not contributing much besides her flanking bonus to the Death Machine fight, so Fjord consoles her:
Fjord: Hey, I just wanted to let you know, I appreciate what you did, taking the brunt of it, because it didn't even hurt me.
While most of Kiri's farewell is sad, she decides to not give Molly words of farewell, but just a nod. He agrees it means they understand each other.
Matt, when explaining Laura and Travis' absence at the beginning of the episode (because Laura delivered her baby earlier in the day):
Matt: I'm glad I worked towards a narrative exit that they couldn't be there for.
- The simple fact that he had the foresight to prepare a natural narrative method of writing several characters out of the plot, specifically to avoid contrived absences or other party members having to play for the missing characters...only to miss the mark by a couple of hours.

Funny / Critical Role Come Together

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