"We all need a home. We all need a family. But for some of us, this home is a little harder to find. For some of us, being a touch odd presents its challenges."
—The first lines in the show, courtesy of The Narrator
Canadian animation is full of obscure and often eccentric series, and one show that definitely tops the list of such cartoons is this one — an adult-oriented claymation cartoon created by Brad Peyton and produced by Breakthrough Entertainment (Atomic Betty, Jimmy Two-Shoes, Captain Flamingo) that aired on CBC for a single season of 13 episodes between June 26 and September 18 of 2006.
Described by TV critics of the day as bizarre, What It's Like Being Alone is a Black Comedy set at Gurney Orphanage, a miserable, rundown, Victorian-style home located in a Newfoundland bog. Gurney Orphanage's residents are a group of flawed and freakish (both physically and mentally) orphans who are taken care of by the mute and neglectful Nanny Goodapple. Every episode, these malformed misfits try to get themselves adopted, resulting in all kinds of messed-up misadventures and disturbing shenanigans. But even despite the hopeless lives they lead and their chronic inability to find any parents who don't run screaming at the sight of them, this little band of misshapen mutants will always at least find some slight form of happiness and companionship in each other.
The eight orphans are:
- Aldous (Stacey DePass), a tall, gloomy, and morbid Goth girl with a depressing outlook on life. The oldest and least deformed of the bunch, she looks after her younger companions in Nanny Goodapple's place.
- Armie (Adam Reid), a boy with no limbs except for one arm. Despite being cursed with the worst luck in the world and an inability to do anything without falling over, he's eternally optimistic about his future.
- Brian Brain (Andrew Sabiston), a diminutive super-genius whose three-eyed face grows on his torso, with a second brain being where a person's head would normally be. Too bad no one appreciates his intellect.
- Byron & Beasley (Julie Lemieux), a blue-skinned pair of conjoined twins that speak in babbling noises. Although merely infants, they are feral and violent, with Byron frequently picking on Beasley for fun.
- Charlie (Peter Cugno), an effeminate boy who is constantly on fire for some reason (he's flaming, get it?). Almost anything he touches instantly bursts into flames, including his fellow orphans.
- Princess Lucy (Dwayne Hill), the newest arrival at the orphanage. A short, fat, disgusting, and incredibly hideous girl who believes herself to be a beautiful, perfect, and angelic royal princess.
- Sammy Fishboy (Julie Lemieux), a chubby, ill-tempered, alcoholic fish-boy who must constantly keep his skin damp with a hose. He is madly in love with a mermaid statuette he found in a fish tank.
- Seymore Talkless, a boy with one eye and no mouth. He communicates entirely through gestures, signs, and musical cues from his violin. He has a bit of a thing for Princess Lucy, not that she ever notices.
While What It's Like Being Alone did get attention from critics for its sheer bizarreness and dark humor, it suffered from poor ratings, hence its brevity. That said, its short-lived nature wasn't anything strange at the time, as 2006 in general proved to be an unusually unsuccessful year for CBC's programming (in part related to the cancellation of This is Wonderland that year). Nonetheless, Brad Peyton shows no regret for his work on the show and seems quite happy with the final results. He even eventually returned to Canadian television animation with much more kid-friendly material in WildBrain's Dr. Dimensionpants, which debuted on Teletoon in 2014. And heck, despite having faded into total obscurity, the show has a surprisingly well-researched and well-written article on Wikipedia
, so evidently, this strange little series has left its own unique mark on the world of Canadian animation.
The series provides examples of:
- The Alcoholic: Both Sammy Fishboy and Nanny Goodapple are prominent drinkers. Sammy is pretty much always seen with a drink in his hand, and Nanny Goodapple is usually seen passed out drunk.
- All Love Is Unrequited: Seymore Talkless has a crush on Princess Lucy, but due to Lucy's stupidity and Seymore's own muteness, it's never noticed by her.
- Alliterative Name: Brian Brain, the smartest of the orphans.
- Amateur Filmmaking Plot: "Silver Screen Lucy" sees the orphans try and make their own movies in an effort to get adopted by a film director.
- Amazing Technicolor Population: Byron & Beasley are blue for unexplained reasons.
- Ambiguously Gay: Charlie frequently displays stereotypically homosexual mannerisms, but otherwise, nothing is said regarding his sexuality.
- Attack of the Monster Appendage: A gigantic tentacle sometmes appears from out of random holes and crevices around Gurney Orphanage to lend the orphans objects they need. It also serves them their mealtime gruel.
- Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Underneath their dysfunctions and the grim lives they lead, it's consistently shown that the orphans do have at least some glimmer of hope and happiness in their lives in the unusual kind of family they've found in each other.
- Black Comedy: One critic described the show as having the values of The Addams Family, and if the character descriptions and premise didn't tip you off on that, this quote might give you a good idea of what they were aiming for.Brad Peyton: These characters suffer only briefly- they don't want to wallow in it, they want to have fun. And if I can drop a giant pair of scissors through an orphan's head and cause people to laugh, then I've done my small part for public broadcasting.
- Buttmonkey: While all of the characters suffer their share of misfortune and slapstick, some have it far worse than others.
- Armie is probably the biggest example. Not only does his single limb mean he frequently falls over and is unable to do nearly anything, but he gets accidentally harmed by the other characters more than anyone else.
- Brian Brain is a close second. He is prone to receiving a lot of violent slapstick (especially to his second brain), and is probably the most frequently maimed character on the show. Heck, he actually gets set on fire in the show's intro!
- Cargo Ship: In-Universe example. Sammy Fishboy is in love with a mermaid statuette named Isabella that he treats as his girlfriend.
- Casino Episode: "Luky Lucy" sees Princess Lucy open up her own casino in Gurney Orphanage after becoming convinced she is extremely lucky. She seems correct at first as Sammy Fishboy, Aldous, and Seymore Talkless manage to lose everything to her at the casino (including their clothes!), but then ends up losing the deed to the orphanage (which she won from Nanny Goodapple) to a Russian crime lord when betting on a horse race.
- Cephalothorax: Brian Brain. Where most people would have a head, he instead possesses a second braincase.
- Chainsaw Good: Seymore Talkless massacres an army of Princess Lucy clones using a chainsaw in "An Orphan's Life Indeed".
- Character as Himself: The mute Seymore Talkless is credited "As Himself" in the show's credits.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: A pair of these visit the orphanage in the episode "The Poster Child" with the intent on "adopting" one of the orphans as their corporate mascot.
- Crapsack World: Gurney Orphanage and its surroundings. Despair and loneliness permeate the forlorn landscape (which include a monster-infested lake, a carnivorous haunted forest, and a cemetery) and its hideously malformed residents, with macabre happenings and little hope of escape being present and prominent throughout the series.
- Cyclops: Seymore has only one eye.
- A Day in the Limelight: Every episode (with the major exception of "A Tale of Almost Unbearable Sadness") gives particular focus to one of the orphans.
- Princess Lucy gets the most episodes, with nearly half of the series' 13 episodes primarily featuring her: "The Gurney Orphanage For Beginners", "An Orphan's Life, Indeed", "The Perfect Lesson", "Lucky Lucy", and "Silver Screen Lucy".
- Brian Brain gets "Do Orphans Dream of Electric Parents?" and "Red, White and Orphanage".
- Aldous is the focus of "The Poster Child" and "The Frightful Flu".
- "Armie Loves Cigarettes" is dedicated to Armie while "Fire the Reverend" focuses on Charlie.
- Sammy Fishboy's episode is titled by the rather straightforward name of "Sammy's Episode".
- Deadpan Snarker: Aldous is full of snarky one-liners, usually directed towards the antics of her younger companions.
- Dysfunction Junction: All of the characters are messed up both physically and mentally in some way, whether it be possessing a nihilistic outlook on life or having delusions of beauty and royalty to having only one limb or being constantly on fire.
- Eagleland: A good chunk of the episode "Red, White and Orphanage" is dedicated to making fun of Americans, with the rival orphanage that opens just south of Gurney Orphanage resembling the White House and being staffed by a government official, a vapid pop star, a Texan oil tycoon, an army commander, and a bald eagle who are all part of a committee plotting to take over the world. There's even a subplot about the inhabitants of Gurney Orphanage becoming unhappy because of how they (Canadians) feel inferior from constantly comparing themselves to "their neighbors to the south".
- Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: Aldous certainly fits the trope, being the least mutated and most conventionally attractive of the orphans, with her willowy physique and Gothic personality.
- Either/Or Title: Every episode has one. For example, "The Frightful Flu" has "Or An Ode to Sick Children and All Short, Annoyingly Helpless Beings", while "Lucky Lucy" has "Or You Gotta Know When to Hold 'Em".
- Emo Teen: Aldous is 17 years old, and noted for her gloomy and depressing personality. As far as she's concerned, her mortality and inability to get adopted has made her pointless and miserable life even more pointless and miserable, and she awaits the sweet release of death.
- Everyone Has Standards: When Armie takes up smoking, Sammy explicitly states that he thinks that Armie is smoking too much, noting he will kill himself at his current rate.
- Extra Eyes: Brian Brain has three eyes.
- Failure Is the Only Option: None of the orphans of Gurney Orphanage ever succeed at getting adopted, due to their malformed appearances scaring off all potential adopters. But again, there would be no show if they did ever get adopted. This is finally averted in the finale when Byron & Beasley - and Nanny Goodapple - are adopted by some filmmakers.
- Fish People: Sammy Fishboy, as his name suggests, is a mutant resembling a stereotypical swamp monster a la the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
- Gadgeteer Genius: Brian Brain often invents gizmos that prove helpful for the episode.
- Gasshole: Princess Lucy is prone to farting and burping loudly, although this trait is downplayed as the series goes on.
- Gonky Femme: Princess Lucy is a short, fat, warty, and all-around hideous mutant who thinks of herself as wealthy and beautiful princess and frequently acts the part.
- Goth: Aldous fits the stereotypes well, being perpetually depressed, obsessed with death, always dressed like she's visiting a rainy-day funeral, and likes writing gloomy poetry.
- Greaser Delinquents: Cool Carl, the only orphan to ever successfully be adopted from the orphanage, is one of these. In "Armie Loves Cigarettes", Armies decides to start imitating him in hopes of being successfully adopted. However, it turns out that his smoking addiction actually killed him immediately after he was adopted, so his parents returned to Gurney Orphanage and had his body buried at the nearby cemetery.
- Handbag of Hurt: Aldous always carries a black purse covered in spikes with her. She sometimes uses it to bludgeon people who they get on her nerves.
- Kafka Komedy: The gloomy nature of Gurney Orphanage and the futility of its deformed denizens' attempts at getting adopted are a key part of the show's sense of humor.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall:: In "Sammy's Episode" Sammy Fishboy starts claiming that he can see people watching him and the other orphans do stuff, all while glancing directly at the viewers. The other orphans are simply left confused by his claims and attempt to cure him of his alleged insanity.
- Man on Fire: Charlie is constantly on fire for no explained reason. He tends to accidentally set stuff (and other people) on fire.
- Me's a Crowd: In the episode "An Orphan's Life Indeed", Princess Lucy uses Brian Brain's new cloning machine to become her own BFF. But when the clones start driving everyone crazy, she decides to get rid of them, only for the clones to turn on her.
- Motive Decay: A non-villain example. Armie went from wanting to be cool enough to be adopted, taking up smoking to do so, to simply smoking because of cigarette addiction.
- Multiple Headcase: Byron & Beasley are conjoined twins, and the former constantly picks on the latter.
- The Narrator: One shows up from time to time, notably in "The Gurney Orphanage for Beginners" and "A Tale of Almost Unbearable Sadness". His commentary usually reflects on the themes of the show, like loneliness and unhappiness.
- No Mouth: Seymore Talkless, hence why he is incapable of speaking.
- Orphanage of Fear: Gurney Orphanage, a broken-down Victorian-style home every bit as gloomy and macabre as its inhabitants.
- Orphan's Ordeal: The entire point of the show is that its a Black Comedy take on the trope. The inhabitants of Gurney Orphanage are a hopelessly lonely and hideously deformed group of eccentric and dysfunctional orphans whose twisted lives are Played for Laughs.
- Out of Focus: Seymore Talkless and Byron & Beasley are the only orphans to not get episodes specifically dedicated to them, although the former does have a small subplot in "An Orphan's Life, Indeed". However, this might be due to the fact that the characters are incapable of speaking.
- Overly-Long Tongue: Princess Lucy has one. Not only is it capable of grabbing and manipulating objects, but she's often seen snatching insects and other small animals with it.
- Parasol of Pain: Aldous sometimes uses her black umbrella as a weapon, usually to jab or stab people who irritate her in the face.
- The Pigpen: Byron & Beasley never bathe. In fact, there's a whole subplot in "Lucky Lucy" where Brian Brain, Charlie, and Armie try to get them to take a bath.
- Punny Name: Several of the orphans, like the mute and one-eyed Seymore Talkless, the genius Brian Brain, and the constantly on-fire Charlie.
- Raised by Robots: In "Do Orphans Dream of Electric Parents", Brian Brain decides to build his own robot parents to adopt him, which goes swimmingly until they malfunction and decide to get a divorce.
- Remember the New Guy?: At the start of "A Tale of Almost Unbearable Sadness", the orphans' latest attempt to get adopted fails because the visiting parents choose to adopt a perfectly normal boy named Trevor who was apparently at the orphanage the whole time. Lampshaded by Sammy Fishboy, who yells "Who the hell is Trevor?!" afterwards.
- Sadist Show: It's a Black Comedy about a group of hopeless, deformed orphans who constantly fail to get adopted and are frequently subject to disturbing accidents, so it certainly fits the bill. However, none of this bothers the characters, and they tend to shake off the show's twisted humor quite easily.
- Satan: Plays a prominent role in the episode "Fire the Reverend" when a preacher comes to Gurney Orphanage and mistakes Charlie for him. An attempt to banish Charlie back to Hell results in the accidental summoning of Satan's son, a three-headed demon baby that Princess Lucy adopts as a pet despite its protests and intent to cause the apocalypse. The real deal finally shows up at the end (voiced by Robert Tinkler) to scold his son for running from home, appearing as a hunched old man with red skin and horns and being convinced to have a slight change of heart when Charlie talks to him.
- School Play: While not students at a school, the denizens of Gurney Orphanage do put on a play of an essentially similar nature in the episode "The Perfect Lesson" in an effort to impress the latest interested pair of potential adopters. True to tradition, it's an utter disaster, and as per the show's grim sense of humor, the parents ultimately leave the play screaming in terror.
- Security Blanket: As shown in "A Tale of Almost Unbearable Sadness", all of the orphans have one. Aldous has her umbrella; Brian Brain has his math textbook; Princess Lucy has her lollipop; Sammy Fishboy has his mermaid statuette; Charlie has his perfume; Armie has his quilt; Seymore Talkless has his violinl and Byron & Beasley have their two-headed teddy bear. Aldous takes the loss of hers so badly that she seals herself inside a crate to cope with the lack of shade to carry over her head.
- Sick Episode: "The Frightful Flu" sees all the orphans except Aldous fall ill. As a result, Aldous is forced to take care of them, much to her frustration as she wants to work on her entry for a depressing poetry contest instead.
- Smart People Wear Glasses: Brian Brain wears glasses and is the smartest of the orphans. Due to his Extra Eyes however, his glasses have three lens instead of two.
- Smoking Is Cool: Invoked with Cool Carl, the only orphan to ever be adopted out of Gurney, and Armie emulates him. Subverted however, as everyone else thinks Armie is being douchey, and it turns out that Cool Carl died due to his smoking.
- The Speechless: Seymore Talkless, as his name suggests. Due to the fact he has no mouth, he communicates entirely using hand gestures, signs, and his violin.
- Spotlight-Stealing Squad: Some of the orphans get more screentime and dialogue than others, with the majority of it going to Princess Lucy, Brian Brain, and Aldous in most episodes, although Sammy Fishboy is also quite prominent. Princess Lucy sticks in particular, as she gets more than twice as many focus episodes as the next most frequently focused-on orphans.
- Stealth Pun: Charlie, the boy who is constantly on fire, has frequent Ambiguously Gay moments. In other words, he's literally and figuratively flaming.
- Stock Ness Monster: One with a semi-humanoid face named Hank inhabits the lake near Gurney Orphanage. It sometimes talks to the orphans, but mostly it tries to eat them if they attempt to escape the orphanage.
- Suicide as Comedy: Being a Black Comedy series, there's pretty much at least one suicide joke every episode, usually courtesy of the nihilistic and emo Aldous.Aldous: One-thirds cyanide, two-thirds courage. That's all it takes to leave.
- Surrounded by Idiots: Brian Brain often feels this way, due to the fact that the other orphans generally ignore, don't appreciate, or even outright reject his intelligence.
- Team Mom: Aldous serves this role as the oldest of the orphans, especially since their actual caretaker Nanny Goodapple usually isn't around to bother looking after them. She gripes openly about how much she resents having to take care of the younger orphans, but does actually care for them deep down (not that she admits to it). The final episode cements this, as Nanny Goodapple gets adopted, leaving Aldous entirely in charge of the orphanage.
- Teleporter Accident: In "Lucky Lucy", Armie's head gets swapped with that of an albino baboon as a result of a botched attempt by Brian Brain to get Byron & Beasley to take a bath by using a teleporter to transport them directly into the bathtub.
- Title Drop: The play performed in "The Perfect Lesson" is shares its name with the show itself.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Princess Lucy has her giant lollipop that she always carries around with and often takes a lick from.
- Umbrella Drink: Sammy Fishboy is almost always seen carrying one, due to his alcoholism.
- The Unintelligible: Byron & Beasley speak entirely in gibberish.
- The Voiceless: Nanny Goodapple. Unlike Seymore Talkless, she has no need to communicate through no-verbal methods, but for whatever reason, she never says a word.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: Sammy Fishboy usually either wears nothing except a pair of trunks or has his shirt unbuttoned to expose his chest and stomach to the world.
- Welcome Episode: The very first episode of the show "The Gurney Orphanage for Beginners" serves as this for Princess Lucy, who arrives at the start of the episode as the newest resident of the orphanage and tries to get adopted.
- Wicked Witch: One was responsible for cursing Aldous and her family in "The Poster Child" to die on her birthday unless she is adopted. Another appears in "The Frightful Flu" when Aldous calls her over to help take care of the flu bug going around the orphanage.
- Wide-Eyed Idealist: Despite his single limb being a massive handicap, Armie is always happy and hopeful.
