Exotic Equipment

"Some krogan believe that testicle transplants can increase their virility, counteract the effects of the genophage. It doesn't work, but that doesn't stop them from buying. They'll pay up to ten thousand credits each, that's forty thousand for a full set. [beat] ...Somebody's making a killing out there..."

— Garrus Vakarian, Mass Effect

Humanoid fantasy races, Rubber-Forehead Aliens, and the like will have genitalia close enough to the human model that they can get down and dirty with humans or the equivalent. (Most of the time, anyway.) However, there will usually be just enough variance to make the experience...different for the human participant.

If this isn't made explicit in the canon, expect it to be explored in art or Fan Fic.

See also: Multiboobage, Interspecies Romance, Bizarre Alien Biology, Bizarre Alien Reproduction, and Super Sex Organs. Contrast Male-to-Female Universal Adaptor. Compare with the Mermaid Problem.

For other kinds of "exotic equipment" that have nothing to do with sex organs or even biological reproduction, see Impossibly Cool Weapon or Impossibly Cool Clothes. Not to be confused with Phallic Weapon, though in some cases actual genitals can be used as weapons.

---

Examples:

Anime & Manga

• In one chapter of Beast Complex, a snake pops his two penises out of his genital vent in front of a mouse in order to prove that snakes have no shame. He also mentions he finds it funny that mice have penis bones.
• This is discussed and subverted in the first chapter of A Centaur's Life. The centaur protagonist, who has never seen her own genitals, becomes self-conscious of what her privates look like after seeing a cow's genitals and worrying that that is her own look like. She and her female friends who are all different kinds of Human Subspecies agree to all show each their genitals so that they can put her fears at ease.
• Dandadan: One of the Serpo aliens harvests organs and modifies other lifeforms with a crotch-mounted mechanical tentacle — or possibly its actual penis.

Comic Books

• The Authority: The Imported Alien Phlebotinum that made Jack Hawksmoor the God of Cities have left him with... different genitalia. They are still functional, and he has retained his libido, but the sight of them did cause a doctor to vomit.
• We see a bathroom for an Inn Between the Worlds in Strontium Dog with urinals that look like they were designed for aliens with multiple penises and genitals at head level.
• Worked over up, down, sideways, and diagonally in Phil Foglio's XXXenophile comics.
• Young Avengers: The scene itself doesn't appear in the comic, but Vol. 2's author Kieron Gillen admitted to thinking of a scene where it turns out Noh-Varr, whose powers mimic abilities of cockroaches, likewise inherited their trait of replacement dicks.

Fan Works

Examples by source:

• Given too much detail in certain sectors of the Furry Fandom. This probably starts with the relatively tame "Oh my God! Your goolies seem to be on backwards!" (marsupials or rabbit) to the more unusual aspects of a feline or canine's intimate anatomy.^note Cat penises are covered with tiny barbs to stimulate the female; canine penises have a "knot" of flesh in the middle that swells when erect and prevents the male and female from separating until copulation is over. It's best not to ask how these details became common knowledge.
  • The entire fandom has been slowly moving away from Artistic License – Biology for a while now, with the exception of deliberate deconstructions like "sparkledogs". Another example is the shift away from humanoid legs in a majority of recent art. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing…
  • But on the other paw, all sorts of things that have no basis in real life lurk in the corners of certain imageboards, such as...
    • Having multiple penises and/or pairs of balls, sometimes to ridiculous levels.
    • Cow udders in place of testicles, or entirely replacing the genitals.
    • Penises in various places they don't belong, often replacing other body parts like tongues, tails, nipples, or even weirder things. Similar things are also sometimes done with female parts and mouths.
    • Centaur-like creatures where each pair of legs has its own set of genitals, especially if the character has more than two pair of legs (these are known as taur-trains or long taurs).
    • Having a snake for a penis which has a mind of its own and may even be able to talk (often the result of two characters merging together).
    • Plant monsters with flowers for genitals.
    • What sort of genitals dragons have varies depending on the artist, but they often combine traits from several different animals. They may have hemipenes, ribs, spines, knots, spade-shaped heads, or anything else the artist imagines. They and the testicles may be external as in mammals or retractable/internalized as in Real Life reptiles.
• In Homestuck, it's never made clear how similar or different trolls are to humans anatomically, as despite having an insect-like lifestyle trolls look like humans with horns and odd coloration. Terms like "bone bulge", "nook", and "seedflap" are used but never explained, meaning that fanfic writers tend to go in pretty much every direction when writing erotica pertaining to trolls. Also, buckets are involved somehow. Perhaps one of the most common interpretations — bordering on outright Fanon — is that trolls are all hermaphroditic, and have a "bulge" (often, but not always, more similar to a tentacle than a human penis, and colored the same as their blood) and a "nook" (which is essentially a vagina). There is some evidence in canon to support the idea that trolls are hermaphroditic (though there's just as much evidence that they're not), but most of the details are left to speculation, probably due to the fact that most of the cast is underage.
  • Furthermore, some characters are given rather…unique variations: the horse-themed Zahhaks are frequently depicted as having equine genitalia, and the Captors are depicted as each having two dicks due to their Duality Motif and two sets of horns.
• JoJo's Bizarre Adventure:
  • While not the majority, the more, er, bizarre parts of the fandom have been known to give the Pillar Men knots or even stranger enhancements under their loincloths, even though being immortal, they're most likely asexual, as their leader Kars was officially confirmed to be.
  • Combining Fighting Spirit with Power Perversion Potential can result in Stands being given these as well. Hierophant Green having Naughty Tentacles is popular in Jotaro/Kakyoin, for instance.
• Megamind: Being a complete and utter fangirl-magnet (and one half of an extremely popular, not to mention canon, pairing with the film's leading lady), just what Megamind is holding in those tight, leather pants has been explored every whichever bizarre, kinky way that fanfiction writers can think of. (Tentacles seem to be the most popular...) This is a new one, though, with a lot of explanation going into it.
• If there's a NSFW fanfic featuring Tamatoa from Moana, odds are that this trope is most likely going to come into play, varying from either being accurate to actual coconut crabs to pure fantasy, plenty of which feature him having two dicks.
• My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanon has it, certainly not entirely uninfluenced by the infamous Ask Princess Molestia blog, that unicorn horns are very much like penises, including horn-sucking. It certainly comes in handy given the Improbably Female Cast. It is also popular to include anatomical details of equine genitals in erotic fanfics, like "winking" (rhythmic movements of vulvar muscles and clitoris).
• Among the OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes fandom, Boxman/Venomous fics seem to hold the general consensus that Lord Boxman (who is mostly human except for the avian talon replacing his left hand) and Professor Venomous (a Snake Person who is somewhere between Little Bit Beastly and Beast Man on the Sliding Scale of Anthropomorphism) have genitals that correlate to whichever species they're adjacent to (i.e., Boxman has internal genitalia and Venomous has two dicks).
• RWBY: A lot of fanfic tends to portray James Ironwood as having one of these, due to half of his body being cybernetic and his unfortunate name. The portrayal of his mechanical male anatomy also varies, from merely being normal, except for being made of metal, to having a number of functionalities, including self-lubrication, vibration, temperature change, size adjustment, etc.
• A common cliche in Star Trek Kirk/Spock Slash Fic is having Spock's genitalia be green and double-ridged. It's also very common to have them be naturally self-lubricating for obvious reasons. Vulcans also don't have foreskins. See this Fanlore article for a comprehensive history of Fanon on the topic. Klingons are given ridged penises too, just like the ridges on their (spinoff-only) foreheads.^note This is all on alt.startrek.creative.erotica.
• Having gained an absolutely massive fangirl following, fanartists in the Undertale fandom have naturally found ways to work with the fact that Sans and Papyrus are both skeletons. The most common method of doing this is to have them manifest equipment with their magic, usually making the things brightly colored and/or glowing as a result. Others have gone with a tamer approach and just given them invisible flesh, which does make some sense; you'd think there'd be something holding them together and giving their clothes shape, while others still have taken the magic idea and taken it to, uh, interesting extremes. And some artists just disturbingly give them boners that are literally made of bone.
• Far too many World of Warcraft comics to count make the draenei's face tendrils erogenous zones.

Examples by author:

• Haara Brightwater's works often include this when dealing with bestial or inhuman characters. The primary time it affected the plot was in Fiora's origin story, where part of her dislike of her own people^note swiftstride shifters, D&D's equivalent of werecats comes from the males having penile spines making sex a painful and unpleasant experience for her.
• One comic strip by Stjepan Šejić parodies the fact that Superman is an alien by showing that when he and Lois first try to have sex, it turns out Superman isn't identical to humans everywhere. They aren't shown but Lois is horrified; apparently male Kryptonian equipment has claws for holding onto her.

Examples by title:

• A variation appears in By the Sea, which features a merman version of Commander Cody hooking up with the human Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Mermaid Problem is solved here by giving Cody a retractable penis with ridges along the underside and apparently no foreskin (covered in skin the same color as his upper half, not scales), and a large ejaculate volume, and he and Obi-Wan have anal and oral sex, with Cody as the penetrating partner. This also goes the other way from Cody's perspective, who has never seen a naked human before- he watches Obi-Wan bathe and mistakes the constantly extended state of the human penis, already unusual for most animals, for Obi-Wan essentially trying to come onto him, and can't believe that anal sex is possible in humans until he watches Obi-Wan prep with his own eyes. Merfolk do have cloacas, but Cody narrates that they don't stretch well enough to permit safe penetration, although some do try anyways to disastrous results, implying that mermaids also have vaginas in addition to cloacas.
• The Warhammer 40,000 fanfic "Love Can BLAM" has a Tau woman with an oddly shaped... yeah, that. It also ignores the canon statement that Tau women do not have boobs.^note Of course, almost everyone ignores that statement, for various reasons. Link is NSFW.
• The The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Kink Meme fill "The Male Organs of Sentient Races and Their Properties", presented as a scholarly treatise (written by a priestess of Dibella) on the male genitalia of Tamriel's sentient species. Naturally, the Khajiit and Argonian equipment is more exotic than the others, but the various races of men and elves and even dragons are discussed as well.
• The notorious Omegaverse fic genre gives knots to the penises of otherwise human Alpha men (and sometimes women), among some other features.
• In Princess (Laburnum Steelfang), Burt refuses to believe that Julien has a uterus because he's seen Julien go to the bathroom. Julien explains that, being a ring-tailed lemur, he has a pseudopenis (the clitoris is enlarged by high blood testosterone levels).
• In the Romance Reports spinoff Like Fine Wine, it is revealed that dragons have hemipenes like many real-world reptiles... which, as someone pointed out once, wouldn't make much sense since the only reptiles with double penises are those with no legs (snakes) or with legs pointing sideways, because that's the only way they are able to mate. Reptiles with legs that support the body from below always have only one penis since there's no evolutionary reason for the existence of hemipenes.
• In Strange New Girls, Lieutenant Reed has a threesome with those two alien dancers in the Star Trek: Enterprise pilot. The vulva of one of them is described as a cluster of prehensile petals that draw him inside her body.
• "Surprises of a Wedding Night" (link NSFW, as the title implies) gives elves this.
• The Warhammer 40,000 1d4chan fanfic "The Wet Dream of Selena Agna" (link is NSFW) has an Eldar woman with very few differences from a human woman except for her somewhat elongated figure and her total lack of bodily hair. The human woman doesn't have pubic hair either, though...
• Inverted in Xenophilia, which details the relationship between Rainbow Dash and a human male. Here it is human genitalia which is seen as weirdly detailed, compared to a male pony's relatively uniform cylinder.

Films — Live-Action

• In Alien Nation, human cop Sykes and his newcomer partner Sam Francisco are going through a human murder victim's effects and find a condom.
  Francisco: And that fits?
  Sykes: Well, yeah. It's rubber. It stretches. [he demonstrates]
  Francisco: And it still fits?
  [female police officer gives Francisco a sideways look]
• In Captain Marvel (2019), this is implied when after an autopsy is performed on a Skrull, Fury lifts the sheet covering the lower half of the body to glance at what lies down below, and he and Director Keller look at each other. Fury then walks away without a word.
• Demon Knight: At one point, the Collector's fly opens and a column of flame bursts out, and he cries out, "Woo! Woo! Down, boy!" When it retreats back into its pants (and fly zips back itself), he sheepishly apologizes. Jeryline is not amused.
• Paul has the title alien remark, "Hey, on my planet, this is small!"
• Though we don't see it with our own eyes, Elisa from The Shape of Water describes the Asset as having a retractable penis.
• Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country: Kirk is assaulted by a towering alien. Kirk kicks the alien in the knee. The alien promptly drops and curls up in a ball of agony. He is immediately informed, "That was not his knee. Not everyone keeps their genitals in the same place."
• Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman has aliens whose fiddly bits are their... noses. And yet they still make fun of human genital sizes.
• In The Witches of Eastwick, the Devil-character's penis is described as bending backwards, which is apparently a major turn-on to the witches.

Jokes

• Did you hear about the guy with 5 penises? His pants fit like a glove.

Literature

Examples by author:

• Vonda N. McIntyre's "divers" (which appear in several of her works) arguably count. The men have internal testes and a retractable penis, mainly for the sake of streamlining.

Examples by title:

• The Beast House: In The Cellar, the Beast is described as having a very ornate member, complete with a retractable tongue.
• City of Bones (1995): This trope is referenced regarding the bio-engineered kris, who have subtly inhuman features like sharp teeth and an easy-to-miss marsupial pouch. One woman with a Race Fetish who sleeps with a krisman is disappointed to learn that his equipment isn't more exotic.
• Dangerous Visions: The Spacers in Samuel R. Delany's short story "Aye, and Gomorrah..." have been artificially neutered in some fashion, although how is only implied.
• Details of the Hunt is about an alien — who has a prehensile dick with Naughty Suction Cup Tentacles at the base — getting involved with a human.
• Eight Worlds: The heroine of The Ophiuchi Hotline dismisses a potential suitor because he'd had his penis radically modified to fit the latest fetish/fad (he protests that it came with an adapter) and another character who'd gone in for much more radical body modifications is credited for a very creative solution to the question of where a crotchless woman would keep her genitals. In both cases, the actual details are (perhaps wisely) left to the reader's imagination.
• Subverted in The Forever War. A Mind Probe produced by the Earth military portrays Tauran soldiers raping human women to death with gigantic purple members, an entirely fanciful depiction as at the time the film is made nobody on Earth has the slightest idea what a Tauran looks like, in order to get the human soldiers angry enough to kill. The hero is aware that it is totally false, but his subconscious makes his teeth start grinding in readiness to kill! Ultimately, they turn out to be an androgynous clone species.
• Gaea Trilogy: The Titanides are basically centaurs with two distinct genders despite looking all female from a distance. (They all have breasts. And judging from the illustrations, long hair, but that's more a cultural thing.) However, they have three sets of genitals (a male equine set, a female equine set, and a humanoid "front" set; only the humanoid-style one determines whether they're considered male or female) and a reproductive cycle that makes for somewhat complex familial relationships (up to four parents, though there are modes with fewer, including the "Aeolian Solo" mode, in which a single individual takes all four roles). They're also reasonably compatible with humans to the point of being able to produce hybrid offspring, which may be somewhat justified in that they're actually a genetically engineered lifeform created by the 'goddess' of their world when it became clear that a first contact with mankind would be eventually inevitable. (Gaea has her issues, but she's shown to be well equipped for creating new lifeforms from scratch.)
• Garrett, P.I.: Inverted in Angry Lead Skies, in which Garrett and his apprentice Singe find a pair of missing persons unconscious and naked in a suspect's apartment. Singe, who is of a species of Rat Men engineered by wizards to walk, speak and think like humans, is both astonished and alarmed by the male captive's nakedness, as his human equipment seems very Exotic to her.
• The Gethenians from The Left Hand of Darkness are physically neuter humanoids who go into "kemmer" (basically heat) and take on the characteristics of one of the sexes. Genly, a human male, spends several years with the Gethenians and is mistaken for a "pervert" or someone who is always in kemmer, which suggests that at least the anatomy is similar, and at one point he wonders about whether or not humans and Gethenians are physically capable of having sex with each other (though they never actually try it out). Odds are that they could, since the Gethenians are essentially genetically engineered humans, created in the distant past as an experiment to see how a lack of gender duality will influence their culture. Almost all human worlds in the associated Hainish series were created as sociological experiments — including Earth.
• This becomes a plot point in James Patrick Kelly's novel Look into the Sun. The hero is a human architect physically transformed into one of the natives for a trade mission to an alien world where pansexuality is the norm and sex is used as a social bonding and negotiation ritual. He copes with the aid of an implanted AI that translates the signals from his new Exotic Equipment into the human heterosexual sensations he's used to, which works well until the AI (which was given the personality of the ex-wife he left behind) gets pettish and starts refusing to translate at a key point in the negotiations, leaving him to negotiate the new alien sensations on his own.
• The Lords of Creation: It's mentioned in In the Courts of the Crimson Kings that the Martian Action Girl and the human Adventurer Archaeologist have physical differences that they need to work around, which only tests their inventiveness. The Martian scientist who examines him later seems rather squicked out by these differences though.
• Mole-Manic sex is very vaguely described in More Information Than You Require, in that they are said as being eusocial, liking of threesomes, reproducing hermaphroditically like snails, laying eggs like frogs, rearing their young like marsupials, and being fond of blowjobs. Their actual genitalia are not as extensively detailed, except for the fact that they can change gender, and they have something called a "cloacal life sac"... and given what a cloaca is on most non-mammals (and even some mammals, including monotremes and marsupials), the genitalia and anus are the same hole...
• Myth Adventures: In Myth-Quoted, Ecstra the reporter warns Skeeve and Bunny that her editor intends to release a fake news story implying that the latter has been seducing political candidates with her Klahdish (human) exotic equipment. We don't see any details (because Gleep primly herds viewpoint-character Skeeve out of the room), but Bunny bursts out laughing and then disrobes to show Ecstra that there's nothing 'exotic' about her with which to entice the native Tipp males.
• In Oceanic, the One-Gender Race of engineered humans has a "bridge" or male reproductive organ that can be passed from person to person; it even has an independent immune system distinct from its host's.
• In Orion Arm, by Julian May, the main character is turned into one of the alien Haluk (on a superficial level). While the twigs and berries are never actually described, there is a reference to there being... well... two.
• In The Player of Games, the Azad have three sexes, a male, a female, and an intermediate 'apex' that takes the seed of the male, everts the organ and deposits the fertilized fetus in the female, who also contributes genes.
• Quozl: The eponymous alien species mate compulsively several dozen times a day, albeit sessions are much shorter than those of humans, and are sexually compatible with us. Hardly unexpected: they're bipedal alien rabbits.
• The Red Dwarf novel Backwards confirms that the Cat has a barbed penis like his ancestors.
• Ringworld: The Ringworld is home to thousands of Pak-descended hominid species, nearly all of which are sexually compatible (albeit not fertile) except when their overall body sizes are too extreme and/or one of the prospective partners has to mate underwater. A very early part of negotiations with a new species is finding out if this is possible ("How long can you hold your breath?") ... some can't for physical reasons, and at least one species is physically compatible but usually can't for psychological reasons. Exotic equipment does oblige Chmeee, a non-hominid alien who claims to have "no external genitalia", to sit out the cross-species games; at one point, he exposes himself to a native to show why he can't participate.
• Giguhl the demon from the Sabina Kane series has a forked member when he's in his true form.
• In Schild's Ladder, people are genderless and sexless by default; when they form a close relationship, their bodies grow unique genitalia that are optimized for each other.
• The opening line of Steel Beach: "'In five years, the penis will be obsolete' said the salesman." The subsequent sales pitch is considered uninteresting by the protagonist, since exotic replacement equipment is so commonplace.
• Viagens Interplanetarias features a race of humanoid monotremes from the planet Krishna that, while anatomically similar to (but not interfertile with) humans, take considerably less time to climax. For this reason, female Krishnans tend to seek out male humans for liaisons, while female humans try to avoid male Krishnans. It's also worth noting that, while humans last longer, male Krishnans were capable of copulating much more often (15-20 times per night).
• The wraeththu (psychic human mutants) from the Wraeththu novels have hermaphroditic genitalia that resembles a cross between an orchid flower and a sea anemone, regardless of whether they are a "male" hara or a "female" kamagrian/parazha. As they continue to use gendered pronouns, sex scenes in the novels generally read bizarrely due to the juxtaposition.

Live-Action TV

• The Tectonese from Alien Nation are anatomically capable of having sex with humans, but mixed couples have to take classes to learn how to get it on safely. Untrained trysts generally result in the human wearing a neck brace. They can also get their freak on for fun with just the two of them, but if procreation is the desired result, they require a member of their specialized "third gender" to act as a catalyst. The third gender seems to pass for male (though perhaps a bit shorter and less bulky on average). Couples made of a female and a third genderer require a male surrogate to help conceive. How and whether same-sex couples factor into this is not explored.
• Babylon 5:
  • The Narns oddly subvert this: they are quite physically compatible with humans, although presumably there's no genetic compatibility.^note Narn requests for telepath genes don't count; the plan is probably genetic engineering. G'kar is particularly tickled by the possibilities; in one episode no less than three human women were shown leaving his bedroom, and another Narn once called him on his attraction to human women by picking up a pair of panties from the floor of his quarters.. On the other hand, Narns are quasi-marsupial, with Narn males having pouches for care of the "pouchlings".
  • Centauri, on the other hand, well... Let's just say in "The Quality of Mercy", the Centauri Londo is once shown to be cheating at cards using his "tentacles" (before viewers are told what they were) — and that when a player puts his drink down on said "tentacle", Londo makes a face as if he'd just suffered a Groin Attack. As Vir made clearer later, they have six of them, three pairs going up the spine, with females having corresponding slits, each representing another level of pleasure, and with engagement of all six being required to achieve conception. Kinky civilization...
  • For their part, the Drazi equipment is canonically in their armpits.
  • And the pak'ma'ra on the base of their neck. This makes the very popular 'adult entertainment' (ahem) film "Who's Your Little Pak'Ma'Ra" an anatomical impossibility according to the doctor in Crusade. We never see how they overcome this handicap in the film, barring Gideon's throwaway comment of "it's an amazing thing, technology..." The pak'ma'ra have just one sex, as well, making this even weirder.
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
  • Mentioned by the leader of a demon biker gang in "Bargaining, Part 2":
    Razor: [to Willow, Tara, and Anya] Now let me tell you something, children. We're not gonna fight you. We're just gonna hold you down and enjoy ourselves for a few hours. You might even live through it. Except that certain of my boys got some... anatomical incompatibilities that, uh, tend to tear up little girls.
  • "That's a strange place for a horn..." so notes Dawn when checking out demon illustrations. "...it's not a horn."
• In Class (2016), Tanya asks the boyfriend of alien Charlie if he's "All human. Down there." He doesn't answer.
• In The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, the Skeksis Gourmand is capable of generating three independent streams of urine. Further details are thankfully not shown.
• Doctor Who:
  • Not shown, but speculated upon. After learning that the Doctor has two hearts, Jackie's immediate response is "Anything else he's got two of?" As Time Lords look indistinguishable from humans on the outside but have Bizarre Alien Biology on the inside, it could really go either way.
  • However, it's been very strongly hinted that he's had sex with humans on numerous occasions, and two of his companions (Donna and Clara) have seen him naked without any comment about him having two of something he shouldn't, so it's probably mostly human-like.
  • In "A Good Man Goes to War", the Doctor's allies Madame Vastra (a reptilian humanoid who's not technically an alien, since her species evolved on Earth during the Age of Dinosaurs) and her human wife, Jenny Flint, are guarding prisoners on a space station. After some teasing in which Vastra pretends not to be able to tell human genders apart, Vastra says "I don't know why you put up with me" just before she knocks out an escaping prisoner from across the room with her tongue. Jenny's blush implies that may explain at least one of the reasons.
• Farscape: In the episode "We're so Screwed Part 2: Hot to Katratzki", Chiana approaches a Scarran who had ordered her to be cut open in a previous episode and asks him if Scarrans have mivonks. Before he can answer, she knees him between the legs... then falls to the ground, clutching her knee. The Scarran looks down at her and says "Yes. But they're not external."
• According to Neil Gaiman's Don't Panic!, the costumer for the TV version of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1981) gave Zaphod's trousers a double fly, suitably padded.
• Odyssey 5: In "The Trouble with Harry", hedonist Kurt Mendel shares a couple of his good-time girls with a synthetic human and is rather disconcerted when they start ignoring him at the first sight of the synthetic's implied larger 'equipment'.
• Star Trek:
  • Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Other species risk serious bodily harm if they mate with Klingons.
    Bashir: A compound fracture of the right radius, two fractured ribs, torn ligaments, strained tendons, numerous contusions, bruises and scratches. What have you been doing?
    Quark: You mean, what have we been doing?
    Bashir: Never mind. I don't need that particular image running around in my head. I'll just treat you.
    [Dax and Worf enter. His hair is disheveled, and they both have scratches.]
    Bashir: What happened to you two?
    Worf: We, er...
    Dax: Well, if you must know...
    Bashir: No! No, I don't need that image either. In fact, I'm going to stop asking that question altogether. People can come in, I will treat them, and that's all. Please, have a seat. I'll be with you in a minute.
  • Star Trek: Discovery establishes that in addition to all the redundant internal organs, Klingon males have two... external organs. It's easy to speculate about what the Klingon females might have.
  • Star Trek: Enterprise: When human crewmember Elizabeth Cutler is attracted to the Denobulan Doctor Phlox, it's not mentioned whether his sixteen-inch tongue is part of the appeal.
  • Star Trek: Voyager:
    • Female Ocampa are shown to give birth from their backs, which suggests that their genitals are located on their backs.
    • Hinted at in "The Disease" (no, it's not about a STD), in which Ensign Kim has a passionate affair with a humanoid alien. Despite her appearance, their 'morning after' conversation implies this trope.
      Kim: I've got to be honest — I wasn't expecting something so different.
      Tal: Neither was I. Our species look so similar... Well, at least on the surface.
      Kim: I would've never guessed when it came down to the basics. Well, let's just say the birds and bees will be very confused.

Music

• Joe Haldeman's Filk Song "The Ballad of Stan Long" has this as its premise, as the narrator is surprised to discover the reason why his titular shipmate/drinking buddy is always a Chick Magnet... and why his admirers always come in pairs.
• The Julie Brown song "Earth Girls Are Easy" (inspiration for the film) has a lot of fun with this trope (although the film uses Male-to-Female Universal Adaptor instead).
  "Is that your tongue?"
  "One of them, yes."
  [And later:]
  "That sure is a big piece of machinery you've got!"
  "I made it myself."
• Partway into the story of Joe's Garage, the titular Joe propositions a sexbot described as having a "hot, curly weenie".^note "Weenie! Weenie weenie weenie!" The sexbot itself is described as looking like "a cross between an industrial vacuum cleaner and a chrome piggy bank with marital aids stuck all over its body", but Joe seems to only care about the aforementioned corkscrew penis in particular.

Mythology and Religion

• In Pacific Mythology, the fertility goddess Kapo saves her younger sister Pele from being raped by her Jerkass lover Kamapua'a by distracting him with her own vagina... which has the ability to detach from her body and levitate. Naturally, Kamapua'a chases it until it settles on a particular hilltop on O'ahu and leaves an imprint (or crater), and it becomes known as Kohelepelepe, which translates as "fringed vulva". Later, Christian missionaries renamed that place Koko Head.

Tabletop Games

• The Dark Eye mostly follows the fantasy RPG standard, as evidenced by the existence of half-elves and half-orcs. The reptilian Achaz, however, fall under this trope — they have no visible external genitalia (as evidenced by the picture showing the playable races, where the Achaz is the only one out of eight to not wear a loincloth), and sex for them is purely a matter of procreation, with no fun involved whatsoever.
• The NSFW RPG FAPP actually has very detailed rules for bizarre sexual Mutations/Mods and how they effect encounters.
• GURPS Bio-Tech: "Exotic Genitalia" is a feature available, as is "Enhanced Male Primary Sexual Characteristics" (naturally).

Toys

• This is the entire premise of Bad Dragon and its many imitators (none of which will be linked to due to potentially violating wiki rules on pornographic content). They sell sex toys in the form of various anthropomorphic animals' and fantastic creatures' genitals.

Video Games

• Dragon Age:
  • In the first game, Sten (a member of a large race of grey-skinned humanoids called either Kossith or Qunari, depending on who you ask) tells Morrigan that she'll need a full set of armor, a hot poker, and a pry-bar (in case he tries to nuzzle) if they are to have sex. He also asks how strong her teeth are, since Kossith/Qunari can apparently bite through metal, and he isn't sure if humans can as well. It's implied, however by his comically serious nature that he was simply messing with her to get her to stop hitting on him.
  • The third game apparently confirms that Sten was lying, as The Iron Bull, an even larger member of the same species, can be romanced by a Player Character of any race or gender.
• The Elder Scrolls:
  • Series' lore states that male Khajiit have tiny barbs on their penises, similar to those of real-life cats. In Daggerfall, the Real Barenziah book series includes a scene where Barenziah, the titular Lost Orphaned Royalty, has sex with a Khajiit so that he'll induct her into the Thieves' Guild. She quickly discovers that there is truth to the "barbed penis" rumors. (The book series exists in later games, but this scene is censored.) In Morrowind, one of the exotic dancers in Suran will make a comment along these lines if the Player Character is a male Khajiit, complaining "Not another Khajiit, I'm still smarting from the last one."
  • According to Queen Barenziah's biography, Dunmer females reach sexual maturity only some time after reaching physical maturity. As a result, an adult Dunmer woman can engage in sexual relations before she can typically get pregnant. The young Barenziah was surprised when she unintentionally became pregnant with Tiber Septim's child before she was supposed to be able to even have children. Dialogue in Morrowind mentions a different but related difference: elves are conditionally fertile, that is to say they only conceive when population pressures are low.
• Mass Effect:
  • Half the Bizarre Alien Biology leads to awkward problems when it comes to sex: risks of infection, chafing, potentially deadly allergic reactions, etc. There are the occasional exceptions, like the asari's infamous ability to mate and produce viable offspring with any DNA-based lifeform ever. Also, according to the veritable database of Interspecies Romance that is Mordin, oral contact with a drell causes hallucinations, and turians and humans can have allergic reactions to each other's tissues.
    Mordin: So don't... ahem, ingest.
  • Salarians are amphibious haplo-diploid egg-layers, so a female will lay hundreds of eggs (dialogue with Mordin also confirms that they have a cloaca, and use the word as an insult), and a male will selectively fertilize some of them to make them female, with the rest being male. Salarian law allows only ten percent of all eggs to be fertilized; more than that would cause an uncontrollable population explosion. As a result, their species' culture has evolved to treat reproduction more like a business deal, with no concept of romance or sex drive — though this doesn't stop many salarians from pairing up with asari.
  • While you don't receive any other information about krogan genitalia (thank God), you do learn that the males apparently have four testicles. In krogan slang, their "pair" is referred to instead as their "quad". Some krogan apparently even have five. Wrex praises Grunt by asking if he's a "quint". As mentioned on the page quote, some Krogan will even get transplants surgically grafted onto them as part of an attempt to overpower the Depopulation Bomb that leaves most of them sterile.
  • In Mass Effect 3's Citadel DLC, James asks the all-important question if you're romancing a nonhuman squadmate.
    "Hey, how do you two... I mean, is s/he... you know — do turians/quarians/asari have all the same?"
• The Red Strings Club: Larissa can mention having sex with a genius engineer named Edgar. She mentions that he has replaced pretty much everything in his crotch with mechanical versions of his penis, which also allows him to have multiple versions of it that he can switch up. She says that it was very nice.
• In Star Control II, the player can ask the Slylandro about the "glowy bits" that are visible inside their translucent bodies. The Slylandro get very embarrassed by this, because apparently those are their sex organs (which they cannot see; their eyes work differently than humans'). They don't go into any detail about how they work, swiftly asking to change the subject.

Visual Novels

• Minotaur Hotel: Discussed by P(edro) and Storm/Oscar. One of them is insecure about his genitalia looking not human enough, which prompts the other to tell him that he's fine the way he is, while the other has to explain to the other what a cloaca is.
• Monster Prom: Damien, a demon, will mention in a few events that his dick can change shapes among a set of nine. Out of those nine, only 7 are used for sex, the other 2 are actually used for killing.

Webcomics

• Digger:
  • Digger herself is a wombat, and so considers all placental mammal reproduction to fall under this.
  • Implied with the hyenas; in the real world, hyena females infamously possess a pseudopenis (an elongated erectile clitoris and vulva that resembles a penis), complete with two fatty nodules that resemble a scrotom. This is a trait only possessed by the spotted hyenas, which are one of the three species, but the hyenas in Digger are matriarchal, which only spotted hyenas are, predatory rather than scavengers, another Spotted hyena trait, have spots on their fur, and show a freakishly high infant mortality, especially for first born young, a trait not only unique to spotted hyenas but one caused by their exotic equipment. Yeah: it's difficult for both mother and baby if you're squeezing something the size of a melon though a tube with the bore of a bb gun.
• Gorgeous Princess Creamy Beamy: X Hoshibana has had problems with dating ever since he arrived on Earth. "It's always the same. I meet someone nice, we have a great evening, but then we get back to the bedroom and they just freak out for no reason! What, is something wrong with one of my penises?" The female Usaginarians and Sucrans (confirmed by Word of God to have a common ancestor; "Sucra's made of cake, it'd be hard for meat creatures to evolve on it") also have this problem, with nether ink sacs and vaginas "chock full of spinnerets".
• Homestuck:
  • Trolls use different (and hilarious) vocabulary for their genitals and have a wildly different method of reproduction... but it is implied that it is probably human-analogous parts referred to by weird names.
  • Played for surreal laughs with elements of Body Horror in the only Loose Canon Paradox Space. There, Tavros becoming aroused by Gamzee is depicted as his body splitting open into a what's described as a fountain made of tentacles spewing... something in his blood color.
• Loon Land: Lana Loon, the extra-terrestrial protagonist of the comic, has no fewer than five vaginas, which causes feelings of sexual inferiority amongst the terrestrial males.
• The Order of the Stick: The Lizard Folk are apparently structured like real lizards.
  "I don't need your standard-issue loincloth, I've been walking around without pants this entire time! It's called a genital sheath, look it up. Hey, while you're at it, look up 'hemipenes', because you can suck BOTH of my—"
• In Out-of-Placers, Every Male is Bi is literally baked into the yinglet genome because females are rare and tend to be selective when they do breed, Males who want romantic relationships or recreational sex have to do so with each other. Consequently, male Yinglet genitals have evolved to be just as compatible male/male as male/female specifically for that purpose. Lacking comparable competitive pressure female yinglet genitals are no more or less compatible female/female than human.
• Discussed in Spacetrawler, by Dimitri, of course.
  Dimitri: So, how does it work with you, anyway?
  Haldeyis: Do you want to find out with your hands, or go read a textbook about it?
• Supermegatopia: One By Way of Booty Bay comic does this with the Draenei.
  Draenei Female: I'm sure I've got nothing you haven't seen before...
  Dwarf Male: Actually, I've not seen that before. Does it bite?
  Draenei Female: Only a little.

Web Original

• The Legend of Korah has the Angeli — who often have animal parts, so to speak — and a host of other strange species. Subverted with the Neodammerai.
• In The Legend of Neil, Moblins have three penises, and (unfortunately for Neil) they tend to get aroused by the presence of elves.
• Dar of Mission to Zyxx has genitals that are reconfigurable to best pleasure any given partner; they also make a hobby of jucking a member of every species they meet.
• SCP Foundation: SCP-1972-A is an extraterrestrial with the head of a moose and tentacles, and is mentioned as having three sets of ovaries in addition to a marsupial-like pouch. She also somehow got a featureless orb who identifies as male pregnant.
• In the Vilous setting, sergals have almost no secondary sexual characteristics and bisexuality is normal for them so their genitals are designed for both homosexual and heterosexual sex. Females have a prehensile clitoral hood which protects their genitals and is able to grasp a male's penis during sex. Males keep their penises in a sheathe like canines when not in use. Fan art often depicts them with dog-like penises but canonically their penises are more similar to those of humans but with a tapered tip and asymmetrical bumps, dents, and bends that are different for each male. Nevreans have bird-like genitals. Although males do have a penis, they don't actually need to use it during mating and it normally only extends out of their slit during mating, although male sex workers can learn to extend it voluntarily for the pleasure of other races.
• In Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee is surprisingly keen to use a prostitute with a feature (or rather three features) only normally seen in marsupials in various simile.

Western Animation

• Drawn Together:
  • Princess Clara was cursed with a tentacled Octopussoir. Attempts to correct this with cosmetic surgery resulted in a Vajoana.
  • There's also Spanky Ham's corkscrew penis, since he's a pig.
• Futurama:
  • In "The Deep South", Fry marries a mermaid. Things get very awkward in the honeymoon suite when the bride asks, "What the heck is that?"
  • Another episode reveals that Omicronians' testicles are located in their horns. Lrrr warns the crew to escape to a safe 500-meter radius when he starts getting frisky with Ndnd.
  • In the movie Bender's Big Score, Fry delivers a package on the Nudist Planet to an alien whose penis looks like a face, and who mistakes Fry's penis for a pen.
• Non-explicit but apparent example in The Penguins of Madagascar. As with real penguins, the external structure of the eponymous birds is apparently so non-distinct that they literally cannot tell their own sexes without a DNA test, and when Skipper's test comes up female, he believes it.
• Rick and Morty: In "The ABC's of Beth", Jerry Smith hooks up with a three-breasted alien woman named Kiara. At one point, he implies that she has two vaginas:
  Jerry: I'm sure you noticed what she has three of, but guess what she has two of?
• Sealab 2021 has an episode featuring one of the show's producers, who is human above the waist but a mass of tentacles below. These tentacles, though visually identical, apparently serve a variety of specialized purposes, including this trope. Debbie grasps one in order to seduce the producer, but he informs her that she chose wrong and that's a "potty tentacle".
• In South Park, the Gelgamek vagina is three feet wide and filled with razor-sharp teeth.
• Stroker and Hoop: In one episode, Stroker attempts to sleep with an alien. He drops his pants, revealing his penis, and she takes off her top, revealing tentacles and teeth instead of breasts. They both scream, "Aah! Put it away!" Later on, it is implied that she is just a human trying to scam him, as Hoop finds a prop of her tentacle breasts, but she is later revealed to be an alien, again, possibly without the weird bits.
• Ugly Americans:
  • The half-human, half-devil Callie is compatible with her human boyfriend Mark, including her "threehole", which is less of an orifice and more of a glowing portal she can manifest on her abdomen. It matches up with the organ on male demons, which is best described as a giant chest-mounted barbed bone spike. It sprouts in response to the apparently pheromone laden smoke of a female lactating fire. For the sake of health, it needs to be amputated by bone saw if unused or else it will become infected.
  • The show also features a background running gag of a male werewolf/female squid couple. Mark notes that finding a partner whose parts match can be difficult, but by the last episode of the first season, those two (as seen through a peephole) seem to be working pretty well together.
  • Manbirds have small, horrifying genitals. They wear boxing gloves over them, and lacking hands, this is what they use to fight.

---