- Whatever Happened to... Robot Jones?
- He was canned.
- His voice changed and people hated it.
- He moved to CN City if OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes is anything to go by.
- Probably the same thing that happened to The Man of Tomorrow and the Caped Crusader...
- He is gone. Reduced to atoms.
- Networks are fickle! They can drop you like a man with big oak fingers!
- But before long our time was forgotten. Our creators abandoning us after only two seasons.
- I am Robot Jones.
- I finished him in a flawless victory.
- He took contaminated Geritol and died.
- He became a vegan and learned time travel to kidnap a Canadian.
- Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!
- Hiding behind a skinny tree from a con artist in a cheap monster costume.
- A big grey thing chased him up the mountain and froze!
- Remember what I said about that? That was your shadow!
- You do, HIYAH!
- In Liberty City.
- In the ghetto…
- What's New, Scooby-Doo?
- Nah, Scooby-Doo's old. Something else is.
- Eh, not much. You?
- Absolutely nothing. We've been recycling the exact same plot line for years and we don't plan on changing it now.
- Whodunit, whodunit? Who came and stole my heart away?
- The Heartless.
- A witch with 3 diplomas!
- A Mad Scientist looking for parts to build his new daughter with. You may wanna get it back, and keep an eye on your kidneys and liver while you're at it.
- It was Thief!
- Kano.
- The Phantom Thieves of Hearts. They even sent you a Calling Card the day before.
- I stole your keys 'cause you stole my heart, it seems like a fair trade to me.
- Mola Ram.
- Do alligators alligate?
- Only when they think nobody's watching.
- It'd be scandalous if someone found out.
- No, actually, they mostly litigate.
- Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit.
- Why universe hate Waspinator?
- You're the Butt-Monkey, I'm afraid.
- You were born! That was a mistake!
- You're uh, you're abrasive and off-putting. You try and say pithy things, but your wit is a hindrance and so, therefore nothing is provocative. Just mixed metaphors.
- Hey, you hurt you. Who was defeated by a girl did not take lightsaber.
- Because he's a sick little weirdo.
- Yes.
- You Know What You Did!
- Who is Slade?
- Not a Teknoman.
- The only mineral that can't be mined.
- Don't you mean "slain"?
- GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND.
- The band that made Quiet Riot famous.
- Ron Perlman
- Technically, he's supposed to be Deathstroke.
- The guy who people ship with Robin.
- I am Slade.
- I’ll do you one better! WHY is Slade?
- Tell them Slade was a dead end!
- Damn it, he killed him.
- Where on Earth Is Carmen Sandiego?
- Filed under Video Games.
- I am Carmen Sandiego.
- Cigar?
- Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
- That makes no sense. Assuming a pineapple was found under the sea, it'd be too small for anything to live in.
- A parasitic sea insect.
- The Unstoppable Exodia!
- HERCULES MULLIGAN!
- Slimy and pinkish and pleasant is he! PATRICK STAR!
- It was Agatha all along!
- Is it Candle Jacan't breathe underwater, doofus!
- Why do hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight?
- So you'll have to buy 4 packs of hot dogs and 5 packs of buns to come out even.
- That's why I buy bun-length dogs; they come in 8-packs.
- Oatmeal? Are you crazy?
- I'm not crazy. And don't call me Oatmeal.
- MAYYYYBEEE…
- YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOUUUUUMEEEEEEEIIIIAAAIEEEEE!!!
- Friend you are crazy!
- No, Jimmy, just ignorant. You see, your crazy friend hasn't heard of the food chain.
- I used to be called Crazy Al, but therapy has convinced me that selling plate armour for 3 gold pieces and a small duck was no way to get ahead in business.
- Buy now! I'M CRAAAAAAZY!!!
- Crazy with low prices on Wind-Brahmin! You buy one!
- Oatmeal is the greatest food on Earth. It's my all-time favorite.
- "Yes." "Lookin' good!" "Slow Down!" "My Man!"
- I’M NOT CRAZY! YOU’RE CRAZY! ESPECIALLY YOU, NAPPA!
- Eyyyyy!
- Oh, you can't help that, we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
- I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.
- Any dolt with half a brain / can see that humankind has gone insane / To the point where I don't know if I'll upset the status quo / if I throw poison in the water main.
- Not mad, differently sane!
- You're crazy, paranoid and dumb.
- Feeding oatmeal to gators. What's crazy about that? What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
- I'm crazy... and I'm right.
- Well, no offense, but you've gone insane, Batman.
- At least that's what they tell me. It's a real load off of my mind too. I mean you can get away with pretty much anything if you're bonkers. It really relieves a lot of pressure and responsibility for me.
- But I'm crazy. Crazy! Bonkers! Out of my mind! Living in my own little world.
You're invited. - You're a crazy person.
- You think I'm crazy? You should see my sister.
- I think I'd prefer "insane", if you're going for technical terms, but "flipped out" has a nice ring to it.
- One, two, oatmeal, Kirby is a pi-hink guy.
- Not mad, differently sane.
- Who is responsible for subjecting our eyes to these... horrors?
- …Good question. Who is responsible?
- No I'm not!
- Exactly.
- Now you've got it.
- I put the blame on Exactly.
- You don't! You put the blame on Who!
- Exactly.
- Giygas.
- Some people claim that there's a woman to blame, but I know it's my own damn fault.
- Whoever wrote "Teen Titans Go".
- Robot Chicken. Just look at what they did to poor Calvin and Hobbes!
- Michael Bay
- Not my fault. Never My Fault.
- This is all your fault.
- The perp is probably in Inaba. ''~ACE DETECTIVE~''
- Not Me This Time.
- Can't we all agree that Jack was at fault here?
- The endless night, stealing the full moon, hiding the human village, and putting funny hats on stone statues. It's all Alice's fault.
- It's All My Fault
- Studio Gainax.
- I've caused so much destruction... I should never have been created. This is who I am...
- Sooooo... guess I just started World War III. This has been a busy day. But in the end, there's only one thing that matters: I did not leave any fingerprints. I was wearing my suit.
- The Entity is incapable of error, and the logical conclusion must be that YOU are a mistake.
- It's not my fault, I'm not to blame; It is the gypsy girl, the witch who set this flame!
- This is somehow your fault!
- We're all to blame!
- RED
- It was me, James. The author of all your pain.
- Makh Shevet Games is probably to blame. Trust me, Armed & Delirious is an absolute acid trip of a game.
- Wait, why didn't they just blame the Joker for all these deaths? He's been killing people for the entire movie!
- People are dying on Amity Island, and only one monster is to blame: the town mayor.
- Craaaaaaaaaaab people, craaaaaaaaaaab people, taste like crab, talk like people...
- Don't blame me. You can blame my friends on the other side!
- FECKIN' GREEKS! THEY INVENTED GAYNESS!!!
- You tricked me! You had me under a spell! None of this was my fault! It was the humans, always the humans!
- I blame the yarn!
- Kira.
- It must be my arch nemesis, Doofliss!
- Alright. I did it, you bitch!
- I did it...for The Rock.
- IT'S ME, AUSTIN! IT'S ME, AUSTIN! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG, AUSTIN!
- I gave power to the enemy. So that makes me responsible.
- Your Mom.
- …Good question. Who is responsible?
- What are you, a dictionary?
- Nope, I'm a thesaurus.
- I know you are, but what am I?
- I'm a General! Wheeeee!
- I have unlimited knowledge of everything in this universe. I have existed waaaaaaaay long before the Big Bang was a thing.
- I’m not a dictionary! I’m a shark!
- I can think inside a chimney. Can you think inside a chimney?
- Sense? What fun is there in making sense?
- Making sense is always fun if you make it by hand.
- Personally, I'd rather make dollars than cents.
- Otacon, the Colonel's transmissions aren't making any sense anymore! Who am I kidding!? They never make any sense! This is the worst mission EVER!!
- There's a sense of humor, a sense of doom, or a sense of awe, sense of timing…
- Makes about as much sense as playing tennis with your eternal rival.
- What's that got to do with anything? The battle, the quiz, the TREE, I mean come on! It's madness!
- I can just say anything I want to right now, and it will make JUST AS MUCH SENSE! Um... Four score and seven years ago, I shoved a bag of jellybeans up my own ass! Nothing makes sense! Nothing is real!
- I think you got that backwards.
- Hey, where's Perry?
- Probably shooting the shit with Waldo and Carmen Sandiego on a secret island in the Bahamas.
- Aren't you guys a little young to be on TV Tropes?
- In the hospital, after he got shot.
- In the bathroom!
- In his office, waiting for that story you said you'd have finished by this morning. Better get on it, Kent!
- Saving the Tri-State Area from an incompetent evil genius.
- Maybe he's near that poorly-drawn pineapple.
- I am Perry.
- I’ll do you one better! WHY is Perry?
- No. I really meant to as WHO is Perry?
- Oh, my God! They killed Perry! You Bastard!
- May I not be un-excused?
- No. Sit down. You're almost at the end of the trope page.
- Stay a while longer. As the above guy said, you're almost done.
- Only if you're not no bitch.
- Is this the Krusty Krab?
- No, this is Patrick.
- This. Is. Sparta!!!
- Is this the Krusty Krab?
- No, this is TV Tropes.
- I am the Krusty Krab.
- What's up, doc?
- Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
- I think so, Brain, but if Tomorrowland were literal, who would visit?
- Casey Newton, that's who.
- I think so, Jamie, but man, it's gonna be hard to find four oak doors and thirty pounds of greased chain!
- The evil on your mind; It pays you back in kind.
- Whoof, oh, I'd have to say the odds of that are terribly slim Brain. I mean, really, when have I ever been pondering what you've been pondering?
- I don't know. Were you thinking: "Holy shit, holy shit, a swordfish almost went through my head?" If so, yes.
- You're thinking I could become L and Kira at the same time... that I could eat unlimited candy and play with my bare feet while I kill people! It's IDEAL!
- I think I'm calling the cops!
- I think I am B2!
- I think so, Brain, but if Tomorrowland were literal, who would visit?
- Is he strong?
- Can he swing from a thread?
- He's as strong as he needs to be.
- He's stronger than cardboard!
- Did you know that you are very strong?
- Weak strength of the elderly.
- You are weak as a baby fart.
- Prince Ali, Mighty Is He!
- Prince Ali, Mighty Was He!
- Now, I am the most powerful hedgehog in the world! The power of these Emeralds makes me invincible! I am the ultimate hedgehog! This is WHO I AM!
- I'm stronger than you!
- I am the strongest fighter!
- I'm the strongest one their is!
- Hulk is strongest their is!
- I tried to do a bicep curl once and my elbow folded the wrong way, and I wasn't even holding a weight.
- Strong enough to have it all, TOO WEAK TO TAKE IT!
- Who controls the British crown?
- Hopefully not him again, he screwed it up last time.
- Uh… La Cucaracha?
- HERCULES MULLIGAN!
- Who keeps the Metric System down?
- The French.
- It's been that way for the last few hundred years, I'm pretty sure they've got the hang of it by now.
- Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
- Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
- Who holds back the electric car?
- Jeremy Clarkson.
- Fossil fuel manufacturers.
- Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
- His audience.
- Fellow costars and so on in films like Police Academy.
- Not the producers!
- ALL STARS!? NO STARS!!!
- Who robs cave fish of their sight?
- We did it For Science!.
- The Kleptomaniac Hero.
- You'll shoot your eye out, kid!
- WHY?! WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE GODDAMMED EYE!?
- Mr. Welch.
- 2028. Even if the rules allow it, a called shot to the eyes with a sledgehammer isn't very practical.
2300. It's cute when you train your hamster to attack their eyes. Your weasel not so cute.
- Who rigs every Oscar night?
- I knew they were rigged! I knew it!
- Calculon and Zoidberg.
- Damien Chazelle.
- Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway
- I'm guessing the answer to all of these questions is 'The Stonecutters from The Simpsons.' They sure do get around.
- You're going to harvest me?!
- Nope, we've seen your Camp Pining Hearts Fanart, you're too valuable an asset to Homeworld.
- Hungry for Apples?
- How can my feet smell if they don't have a nose?
- Welcome to the Salty Spittoon. How tough are you?
- I'm hunger. I'm thirst. Where I bite, I hold till I die, and even after death they must cut out my mouthful from my enemy's body and bury it with me. I can fast a hundred years and not die. I can lie a hundred nights on the ice and not freeze. I can drink a river of blood and not burst.
- I'm Atma - no, Ultima...I do not bleed, for I am strength given form...
- I killed a man... with this thumb.
- Okay now, a train traveling at 460 watts from England by the circumference of the city of Wisconsin, terminating at the air speed to ground-base ratio, what city in France would the trains collide?
- Probably Paris.
- None. They were on different tracks.
- Watts are a measure of power, not speed, so a train cannot be travelling at 460 watts.
- Wait, you never mentioned a second train. You were only talking about one!
- …This is a trick question. Wisconsin is a state. Not a city.
- The place in France where the naked ladies dance.
- Who is RadCircles?
- I am RadCircles.
- Hey, kid. You wanna see a dead body?
- Did that one kid have opposable toes?
- Which kid are you talking about?
- What do they do on a rainy night in Rio?
- Hey, aren't you the horse from Horsin' Around?
- Nope, I'm Mister Ed.
- Actually, I'm not really a horse, I'm a broom.
- I'm not a horse, I'm a pony. Horses come from somewhere else.
- Weren't you on a show with a robot?
- Once. But then his voice changed and people hated it.
- That voice? Where have I heard that voice?
- On the Itchy and Scratchy CD-ROM, is there a way out of the dungeon without using the wizard key?
- Game Mods?
- Push escape and press quit. There's no other way to beat this game!
- I'm sure speedrunners have found a way.
- Who sleeps at night in a cake made of strawberry?
- But what if... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?
- You'd receive a lawsuit from McDonald's.
- What is that in your hand?
- You would eat less than you desire and more than you deserve.
- Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
- Uh, ooh! That isn't smoke, it's Steam! Steam's downloading the Simpsons game we're playing!
- Good lord, what is happening in there?
- Geeks are asking each other random questions.
- Aurora Australis.
- On this part of the Internet? On this page? Localised entirely within your router?!
- Yes!
- At this time of year, at this time of day, in the middle of a forest!? I thought you were supposed to be on patrol!
- That Beelzebub behind my bedroom ***ing! ***ing! ***ING!!!
- Nothing! NOTHING! You only see AIR!
- Wow, look! Nothing!
- Digital style!
- Do a digital dancing, hey this is fun!
- What for you bury me in the cold, cold ground?
- Is mayonnaise an instrument?
- Is it my imagination, or does Aunt Ruth have a beard?
- Oh, where is my hairbrush?
- Did you eat it?
- It’s in the fucking chicken!
- Where have all the staplers gone?
- They switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...
- The eagle has landed, the cow jumped over the toaster, and I believe you have my stapler.
- Why do my nostrils whisper to me?
- Don't touch the orange moss!!
- Oh, it gets much stranger, Kevin.
- Nah, I see him all the time.
- Why weren't you at elf practice?
- Screw You, Elves! Oh wait...
- I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT I SWEAR TO GOOOD!
- I shall explain all this fully a little later. Comrade Volvov has been working for me for some time. He infiltrated the gang of hardliners. Unfortunately, his position didn't allow for much fieldwork, so I arranged for your transfer to Department P. You have done well!
- Have you finished those errands?
- Do you have T.P. for my bunghole?
- What is T.P.? And what is a bunghole?
- But...why?
- No, no, there is no why. Nothing more will I teach you today. Clear your mind of questions.
- 'Cos it made me happy.
- You want my motivation? Fuck. You. That's my motivation.
- I don't have a character motive.
- Well... You gotta do something, don't you?
- I thought, "I want to play disaster resolution too." So I caused one. A disaster, I mean.
- Why? Why did I... want power? ...Aenir? ...Don't...under...stand...
- I used to think I knew. Now, I'm not so sure.
- Heheh, you know, it's funny. I don't even remember anymore... ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!
- I did this because of Metacritic.
- Silence! All you need to know is that I am evil, and I'm going to defeat you!
- Once the land is ruled by my hand, then... Then... Then... I'll have to think about it...
- Because.
- Demand me nothing: what you know, you know. From this time forth I never will speak word.
- It's because I'm simple! It's because I'm really cool! Everybody loves me and I love them, too! And I'm happy just doing whatever I do... It's because I'm Simple... Samosa!
- Science isn't about "why", it's about "why not"! Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out because you are fired! Not you, test subject, you're doing fine. Yes, you. Box your stuff, out the front door, parking lot, car, goodbye.
- Silence. There is no need for you to know.
- Wynaut?
- 'Cause you're fat boi!
- BECAUSE...NEW! DAY ROCKS!
- It Amused Me
- Because you touch yourself at night.
- Because--I love her.
- Did you really think I would let you die alone, Xavier?
- Gee, Brain, whaddaya wanna do tonight?
- Is Unobtainium very easy to obtain?
- I think the correct term is "Can't-Get-It-ium"/McGuffinite.
- Are you going to finish that cwoissant?
- I just did.
- Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?
- Is It Always Right to Be Right?
- If you are wrong, you are cool.
- Just because you're correct doesn't mean your right.
- Why are you booing me, I'm right!
- What is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right.
- You're not wrong, Walter. You're just an asshole!
- I'm not good, I'm not nice, I'm just right.
- I need to stop doubting my own sanity because I've been proven right about EVERYTHING!
- Whenever I'm wrong, the world makes a little less sense!
- It ain't right, babe, no! It ain't right, no no!
- Your head has no right to say no. Tonight it's ready set go!
- We can be wrong, but somehow we always think we're right.
- Damn straight.
- I may be wrong, but I don’t wanna be right.
- What's the use of feeling blue?
- Where in the world did you get the idea to put garlic and rutabaga in a cookie?
- What's a Tamagotchi?
- A dead fad.
- Let's find out. (types in "tamagotchi" on Google, only for the search engine to fail for some reason) What is a Tamagotchi? The world may never know.
- Who Killed Who?
- One thing is sure... Inspector Clay is dead, murdered, and somebody's responsible!
- SiIvaGunner is dead, and it's all because of you. It's all... because... of you! You fucked up!pu dekcuf uoY !uoy kc-
- And here's my little secret: I killed Mufasa.
- Someone in this very room is the murderer!
- Mario killed Doofliss finalie. he sent him flying to in to the sun.
- Who killed Hannibal?
- Who Killed Captain Alex?
- There has been murder done, and the murderer was a murderer, and the murderer was a Mormon, and the murderer was Sherlock Holmes, and the murderer wassaw reredrum.
- Kelly Hu killed who? Who killed Kelly Hu? Which one is correct?
- Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.
- Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?
- What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?
- Doctor Bruce Banner, pelted by gamma rays, turns into the Hulk! Ain't he unglamorous?
- Ain't I a stinker?
- The smell was something he was born with. A curse, the smallfolk said. The gods had made him stink so that men would know his soul was rotting.
- Short and short on deodorant is a real bad combination, Stabby.
- You suck. And you smell... really smell.
- I smell?! Why... you... It's not my fault! I've been cooped up in a space pod for a year, what do you expect?!
- YOU ARE A SMELLY PIRATE HOOKER.
- Smelly boy.
- You don't smell good, Mapleshade.
- Smelly Mumpo, who stank so badly that no one would ever go near him, because he had no father to tell him to wash.
- Hey! You can't sue me for being a "stupid, smelly jerk"!
- You stink, brother!
- Well, what did you expect in an opera? A happy ending?
- NO! But I expect it from a fucking Bugs Bunny cartoon!
- Stories like these don't have happy endings.
- We cannot let this be... the end.
- They say that 'evil prevails when good men fail to act'. What they ought to say is, "evil prevails'.
- Sorry, we're all outta happy endings today! We only have ones that end with horrible beatings.
- I was kind of hoping for a happy ending.
- Nobody said this was going to be a happy story.
- Sometimes, there are no happy endings.
- Nothing ends, Adrian. Nothing ever ends.
- There's no happy ending / So they say / Not for me, anyway.
- Bruce... I would love to live with you in your castle... Forever just like in a fairy tale... But I just couldn't live with myself, so don't pretend this is a happy ending!
- But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.
- The bad end unhappily, the good, unluckily.
- That's not the end, as you suspected...
- It's an ending. That's enough.
- Happy End? What the hell is Happy End?
- There are no happy endings, because nothing ever ends.
- Listen, Mandy, we've been through hundreds and hundreds of portals, century after century! This could go on forever and ever! Who knows how this will all end!
- Kids, we just have to learn to accept this. Like one of those stories on Dateline, where a family member suffers a horrible accident and becomes a burden on everybody. Sure, they pretend to be happy, but they're dead inside. They're dead. And that'll be our lives.
- Well, at least it didn't end like The Sopranos, where it just cuts to black in mid-se-
- WOAH WOAH WOAH! Don't try and pull that "happily ever after" crap! HUMANITY WENT EXTINCT! THE PLANET IS FLOODED! AND THE LAST MEGA MAN IS STUCK IN SPACE FOREVER, BECAUSE LEGENDS 3 IS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! That peaceful future that Doctor Light fought so hard for turned out to be total bullshit, and if you think about it, it's all his fault! Love and peace are lies, God Is Dead, and we're all totally f***!
- No one in the world ever gets what they want,
And that is beautiful
Everybody dies frustrated and sad
And that is beautiful. - Even happy endings have little tears in their eyes.
- There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith. Ain't that a bitch?
- Victory can be bitter as well as sweet, boy. It's good you learn that now.
- This was a happy story. But... it could still be a whole lot happier...
- If you're asking me "Did the good guys win?" Yes, the good guys won, Batman. But, I won't know if it was worth it for a very long time...
- Yeah, this ending is getting a little too happy. This is an Indie movie, your options are bittersweet or fucking miserable.
- "That wasn't a good play." "I'll say." "No kidding." "Horrible." "You said it!" "But the effects were decent!"
- That's how it could have ended. But how about this?
- If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.
- Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.- I don't follow American hip-hop.
- It's a quote from Macbeth!
- I don't follow Scottish hip-hop.
- People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy.
- A grand opera cannot have a happy ending — unless you consider it a happy ending when all the characters are too dead to sing any longer. Some do.
- I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings.
- THIS MOVIE IS DEPRESSING ENOUGH ALREADY YOU FUCKS.
- Yeah, you're telling me, mate! It's rubbish! There's gotta be a better ending than that!
- Why would you think that, Stanley? That this video game can be beaten, won, solved? Do you have any idea what your purpose in this place is? Hahaha, heh, Stanley...you're in for quite a disappointment.
- Every other show ends with the Ancient Hero of Bullshit showing up at the last minute, wielding the legendary Sword of Deus ex Machina and slicing the hell out of us. Well not this time! This time, WE WIN! Griffith turns evil. Everyone gets raped or eaten or killed. Fuck you. THE END!
- How much worse it must be, coming from a culture that still teaches you you can win. We don’t even have that, Catherine. The hope of the happy ending. We get to cackle on the way down the cliff, or maybe curse our killer with our last breath.
- Wait, what? No, this isn't the end! It can't be! This isn't one of those things with a downer cliffhanger ending. Uh-uh-uh. No, this needs to have a happy ending!
- Whichever way I go from here, it's hard to see this story having a happy ending.
- As only celluloid can deliver.
- I've still got lots of things to say, but it looks like we're running out of time. So I'll compile it down the best I can.
- It all worked out. How disappointing.
- Damn straight.
- Now that's a happy ending. Or is it? Because everything's over now, and all that's left is you and the infinite void. Kinda makes you wanna play saxophone, huh?
- All this time, you were pretending, So much for my happy ending.
- If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?
- Supervillains aren't supervillains because they are poor. No, supervillains are possessed of the intelligence, strength, and power to make many times the fortunes of normal men. Indeed, they're often very rich at the start of their careers. No, supervillains are supervillains because they can't have enough, can't operate within normal laws, and don't WANT TO.
- Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
- Dr. Evil, I spent 30 years of my life turning this two-bit evil empire into a world class multinational. I was going to have a cover story in Forbes. But you, like an idiot, wanted to take over the world. And you don't realize there is no "world" anymore! It's only corporations!
- Why make trillions... when we can make billions!
- You have knowledge enough to remedy every ill facing this world, yet you squander it to fuel your own ambition!
- When Dr. Crane approached me, I though the man had finally realized the value of his chemical expertise. But no. He's still 'Scarecrow' to the bone. The man invents a formula that could cure depression! Turn an entire army upon itself! And he uses it to... frighten people!
- That's what I don't get about these guys. They can make millions legitimately. It'd probably be easier too.
- If you really wanna get fighting data, from martial artists, you could always, I don't know, tell the truth. Just offer to pay the world's greatest martial artists a million dollars to come to your island, get an injection, and spar with each other all day. I mean, is anyone even likely to care?
- A Fool and His New Money Are Soon Parted.
- It's not about making money, it's about taking money.
- I do not wager money.
- Nobody would Cut Lex Luthor a Check.
- I decided to sabotage my highly scientific mind with cartoons and sugar.
- How did you get trapped?
- What's the sitch?
- You're either the last son of a warrior dynasty or a lucky drunk. Which is it?
- I'm drunk, ye don't have an excuse!
- Och, wael... have ye heard aboot the Beer of the Month Club? Well, I joined the Beer All At Once Club.
- i was drunk as fuck
- They drive me to drink!
- I'm not drunk, I'm just festive!
- Oh man, I'm telling ya, you guys are really gonna- y-y-you're gonna drive me to drink, man. You're gonna drive me to dri-GIMMETHEMIC - *CANS.WAV*
- Why not both?
- Cool it, man! I don't want to be the President of America!
- BARTYOUWANTSOMEBROWNIESBEFOREYOUGOTOBED?!
- BARTYOUWANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAWANDHOCKEYMASK?!
- What happened to Della Duck?
- What WAS the Llama Incident?
- I'd rather not talk about it.
- Starfire's way of Speed of Light travel.
- Either it had something to do with the gym attack or the pool attack.
- No one can prove I did that!
- In the end, everybody was completely nude around the campfire.
- If this is about the incident with the bull and the jelly-doughnuts, I already said sorry-
- All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
- That was a pointless encounter with a pointless person.
- An attempted coup for the throne of a Mayincatec empire.
- The Llama Incident?! Sloooowwwlly I turned...
- I'm trying to forget it!
- Authorities said... best leave it... unsolved, really.
- I don't know if they ever got that man down off the flagpole.
- It's a longo tale-o, buta a small part of it would be mesa...clumsy.
- Trust me on this one. You don't wanna know. Audrey, don't tell him. You shouldn't have told me, but you did. And now I'm tellin' you: You don't wanna know.
- I had. A bad. Experience.
- ...and then they made me their chief.
- NO! DO NOT IMAGINE THE EVENT HAPPENING AGAIN. IT WILL CAUSE DISTRESS. THE EVENT IS IN THE PAST.
- For some reason there were noodles involved. It was weird.
- It was the only way we could successfully infiltrate the MI5.
- A human rights violation that famously brought Nelson Mandela back from the grave to stop it, only to have his zombie heart seize when he saw it, requiring a second and more somber funeral.
- That was the craziest episode we ever had!
- Well, when the radios went out, I decided to return to the refinery. But en route, I find I'M IN AN AMBUSH SITUATION! Must have been a couple dozen of these things! Well, I dropped the first wave with semi-auto fire, but they just kept coming! Sheer luck most of them were in front of the truck, so I just popped it into six-wheel and ran 'em down. The ones that got on board I handled with a combination of small-arms fire and hand-to-hand techniques.
- And then, well...a whole buncha stuff happened after that. The war ended, and here we are now... and, uh... The End.
- Eh, after you got knocked out, me and Dr. Narbon had this awesome battle royal that'd be super hard to draw.
- How we survived that, I don't know.
- With that one of a kind never to happen again over with, we have something we must do.
- It's hard to explain if you don't understand the meat-packing industry, but man, it was funny.
- I'd explain this, but it gets kind of technical.
- Now, now, there is nothing to be worried about, we have made major strides since then. Major strides.
- We had to either box or learn to herd llamas. I am not good with llamas.
- I was just laying there, you thought I was done for, but-
...
-a bloody llama! Couldn't believe it either! And then the llama- - It wasn' a bad journey. Ran inter a couple o' mad trolls on the Polish border an' I had a sligh' disagreement with a vampire in a pub in Minsk, bu' apart from tha' couldn’t’a bin smoother.
- I was not responsible for the Llama Incident!
- That never happened, Sam.
- The man downstairs is very clever / can he hide his plans forever?
- NO-ONE WILL EVER KNOW!
- NO ONE MUST KNOW! Not even... Squidward's house!
- You must think me a simpleton, sir. Don't you think I've known about everything from the start? Don't you think I've known about Marley's motives all along?
- You think I'm fucking stupid? I know it was you.
- I've cheated all of you and you didn't even notice.
- I show them. I will record everything!
- He can't keep getting away with it!
- I HAVE SEX WITH DOGS, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
- The dogs and horses on the estate just loved you; indeed, all the animals were your best friends, and you expressed your appreciation for them in no uncertain terms. For your services, they rewarded you with their utter adoration... and an advanced case of brucellosis, a virus that causes spontaneous abortion in animals and remittent fever in human beings.
- You can't fuck puppies. At least you SHOULDN'T.
- Ohhhhhhhh! You wanna know why? BECAUSE THIS! IS! MY! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFETISH!
- I'm a dog lover!
- There's no dog... But there's a baboon!
- Then we're all happy for you.
- Are we dead? Or is this Ohio?
- Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
- Hey Phineas. What'cha doin'?
- Why do you ask?
- I've been dead thirty years. What's your excuse?
- It seems that reports of my... survival... have been greatly exaggerated.
- I died in episode 81!
- He died a horrible death because I had incredible sex!
- This is how it happened. This is how the Batman died.
- I didn't make it. Twelve freaking times!
- Somehow, you have retained your mortality, which would mean you are vulnerable to death!
- This is a very sad story about the death of a man named Stanley.
- So, you whizzed on the electric fence, didn't ya?
- This can't BE?! You're DEAD?!
- I don't feel dead...but how would I know?! If this is what it's like to be dead, then being dead sucks!
- I've been a criminal for 6000 years.
- Arr, why are we moving so slow?
- Is it weird to have a crush on your alternate reality self?
- Must have been your lifelong ambition!
- I would totally make out with my clone. If it was okay with her. No pressure.
- Absolutely no problem at all.
- Yes. Very.
- I'M NOT AS MUCH OF A SCUMBAG AS I WAS SO DETERMINED TO MAKE OUT WITH MYSELF TO BE.
- I ain't gay, but I'll lay back.
- Oooh! Who's that handsome devil!?
- After all, she is me... Or the next best thing to me.
- How about that... Over 50, and still a ripper!
- Get off me, you handsome devil!
- F*** it! I'll date myself!
- Not to Dr. N. Tropy.
- Carl, have you been messing with the cloning machine again?
- I think I'm a clone now. There's always two of me just a-hanging' around...
- You cloned Kitana, you despicable fiend!
- Cloning me was your worst mistake!
- We're not shadow clones; the Character Designer's out sick today! I heard he got his ass kicked by a Cloud Cosplayer.
- Hi, we're clones of Troy McClure! You might remember us from such battle tactics as using an umbrella and evaporating at the touch of a hammer.*
- Hey, look, a cloning machine! I hope this does not result in wacky chicanery.
(One Millisecond Later...)
Oh, no, I accidentally cloned myself, and now all the clones are fighting over the nut!
- Hey Jimmy, wanna see a frog?
- So, what are we? Robots or animals?
- Why do these things always happen to me?
- How did I even get here, son?!
- Now, let's not get nosey, bub.
- Oh, there'll be plenty of time for explanations later.
- How did we, Kronk?
- Well, ya got me. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.
- Eh. Wasn't hard.
- You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile!
- Do you find something comical about my appearance when I'm driving my automobile?
- You betrayed me?
- A friend can betray you, but with an old enemy, you always know where you stand.
- HE WAS THEIR FRIEND!
- SNAPE! HE TRUSTED YOU!
- Yes. Because Major Katsuragi is more human than you are.
- Why does 50 Cent rough up and insult all of his allies and act surprised when every single one of them betrays him?
- You're fall was your own!
- Don't hurt Torr's feelers!
- The being of ten-thousand traitors!
- You aided the usurper!
- I was a traitor when I joined you!
- You lied to me. You betrayed me. You used me. You fucked up my face.
- Creating Mileena was the last straw.
- You thought This One cared.
- I thought you had faith.
- In a blue-skinned bag of meat?
- At the tournament, I trusted you to spare Bi-Han, and you betrayed me.
- That's Sultan Vile Betrayer to you!
- Oh, a traitor, am I, Potter? You're exactly right. I am a traitor. Because I'm about to betray someone. Right… now.
- We couldn't help it, King Dad. We had to vote for her. She's so nice and you're so... so... Exactly, Dad.
- If his treachery could ever hurt anyone more than himself, I'd have to stop him.
- I can live with that. You won't.
- Are you surprised, Raiden?
- Only that it took you so long.
- I had no choice. They arrived right before you did. I'm sorry.
- Yeah, n-n-not really sure how you didn't see one coming.
- I may be a traitor, but I am not fat!
- You abandoned your family... and Hoshido... Now pay, for your betrayal!
- Better I betray the world, than the world betray me!
- Iago... you betrayed me and allied yourself with my enemies! Then you turned on them as soon at it was in your best interests. That's what I love about you. You're so perfectly... predictable. A villain through and through!
- Is it my fault that you are so trusting?
- Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
- Stupid Arpeggio. I double-crossed the Cooper Gang, Interpol and Carmelita. What made you think I wouldn't do the same to you?
- I did warn you not to trust me, you know.
- What? Naesala and the Ravens of Kilvas betrayed us? Again?
- I know I've betrayed you many times before, but this time, it's truly nothing personal.
- You see, Missy, this is where we've always been going! This is our perfect ending! We shoot ourselves... in the back!
- You betrayed me, you're not good. You— You're just a chicken! CHEEP-CHEEP-CHEEP-CHEEP-CHEEP!
- EVREYBODY BETRAYED ME! I'M FEDUP WITH THIS WUROLD!
- You were... you were betrayed.
- It pains me to do this, sire. But I'm afraid...I must.
- Pathetic child. I cannot be betrayed, I cannot be beaten.
- Fortune, you thought you could betray me! But I'm too smart for that! Right, Ocelot?
- Yeah, whatever.
- Wait a minute. I helped you give birth six times and you do this to me?!
- Our contract died when you did.
- And just like everyone playing this game predicted, Mr. Eye would use Vendra to break into her reality and discard her like an empty packet of chips. Who didn't see this coming?
- Will you take us to Mount Splashmore?
- No.
- Will you take us to Mount Splashmore?
- What is "Mount Splashmore"?
- No.
- You can be a goody two shoes till the end of your days // You can listen when they say crime never pays // You can follow every law and fear the big black bat // But why would you want to? Where's the fun in that?
- I make gang members fight to the death and I got scantily clad women to serve me drinks while I watch. Why wouldn't I be doing this?
- Being evil is too much fun!
- But, Peter...everyone tells me to do bad things. Even my hair!
- I like being evil and I don't need presents! I'm in charge! I've got power! I've got... I've got... I've got no friends on Christmas Day...
- Why, I would never.
- The fun comes from when all crimes never existed. The real crime here is doing crime itself.
- Yes Fredo, but why are you wearing that llama?
- Would the villains really have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those pesky kids and their dog?
- The Meddling Kids Are Useless.
- Meddling, yes, meddling kids, and your blasted dog ruined everything!
- And I'll still get away with it, in spite of you meddling kids!
- Everybody submits, meddling kids or no meddling kids.
- Isn't there any kind of torture you don't like?
- Whose side are you on, Barf Brain?!
- At the moment?
- I know not of sides, Earth Stink, but just this once I agree with you. The hamster must be stopped.
- Hah, I'm on my own side, as always.
- It varies from moment to moment.
- Not... Yours.
- I mean, you must spend every day pretending to act like you're falsely letting on that you aren't not unbetraying someone you don't not purport to allegedly not work for but really do! How do you keep all this shit straight without having an aneurysm?!
- I'm on your side, you fucking idiots! How many of you do I have to kill before you understand that?!
- Hey Einstein, I'm on your side!
- I don't care if you win, I need Kylo Ren to lose!
- I told you I'd shoot, but you didn't believe me! WHY DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME?!
- What do you mean you don't agree with me?! Do you know who you're dealing with?!
- No, you don't know who YOU are dealing with!
- Well, I guess this is a case where we'll have to agree to disagree.
- I don't agree to that.
- Neither do I!
- The biggest asshole in the entire universe. That's who I'm dealing with.
- What's with Andy?
- If Johnny has three apples and Davey has two apples, why don't they just shut up and eat?
- I am UNABLE to eat it. Not even a nibble.
- YOU shut up! You are the audience member! I am the author! I outrank you!
- I'm sorry to remind you that it's the audience that writes this whole show.
- We destroyed the world?
- Me Grimlock no care whole planet fall apart! Make no difference to me Grimlock.
- Okay. Two things, Mike... First, uh, well, you blew up another planet, obviously. What's that, three for you now? Second, uh — ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR STUPID ROTTED SKULL, YOU DUMB MAN?!
- Well done, Zorc! What are you going to do now?
- I'm Going to Disney World!! And then I'm going to destroy it!
- This is a bad experiment! We are bad people! Why did we usher forth the green apocalypse?!
- AUGH, MY EYES! GAZE UPON THE FIERY DOOM OF THIS EARTH!
- That's unpossible.
- Why are we walking like this?
- It's like they put all their resources into Episode 1, then they ran out of gas.
- All it was, was a bunch of people walking. Three movies of people walking to a fucking volcano.
- Well sir, I have a silly walk and I'd like to obtain a government grant to help me develop it.
- That's it? That's the lost episode? THAT WAS JUST A BUNCH OF CHEAP WALK CYCLES!
- She told me to walk this way!
- Who is driving?
- The Driver. He's a recurring character; you ought to be able to recognize him by now.
- Well, Odie, I saved the world again. But do you think I'll ever get credit for it?
- What About Mimi?
- Someone special—who could it be?
- Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
- I know I'm special. This isn't news to me.
- No one ever told me I was special! I never got a trophy just for showing up! I'm not some special little snowflake, no. But as unspecial as I am, you are a thousand, billion times more unspecial than me!
- Am I really gonna defile this grave for money?
- Who put you on the planet?
- Heigh ho! Do you know the names of the US residents who then became the presidents and got a view from the white house loo of Pennsylvania Avenue?
- What do they call "poo-gas" in Scotland?
- Where the heck did you get pizza?
- Alright, XANA. What do you have in store for us this time?
- Did you hear the one about Alfred?
- I heard he burnt some cakes.
- It turns out, he's really dank!
- I heard he burnt some cakes
- Did Jet just... die?
- Well, he did ask for death from Hatsune Miku.
- Let me see if I follow this: I am either alive or dead, based of the state of a die which we cannot observe without altering. Do I now exist in both states at once? Am I both living and dead? Have I become some sort of Uncertainty Lich?
- Well, they Never Found the Body, so maybe He's Just Hiding
- He chose...poorly.
- Well, hey, he didn't. He said "sike".
- Have you seen this chicken?
- Did I ever tell you how I got the nickname "The Dragon of the West"?
- Could I be the Green Ninja?
- Dear Pig, aren't you interrupting the story at the most suspenseful part?
- I don't know what's happening to me. I'm getting all the blame for things I didn't do. Can anybody tell me just what I did wrong?
- Is there something you should tell me, big buddy? Are you aware of the glare from the sun shining off of your hair?
- Would The Golden Girls be darker if we resurrect Bea Arthur?
- Snooping as usual, I see?
- How would I go about creating a half-man, half-monkey type creature?
- How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?
- You can't teach an Old Dog new tricks.
- As many as it takes.
- I make it a point to never learn from my mistakes!
- Who's your least favorite character now, Reddit?
- Sir, this is TV Tropes, not r/AskReddit.
- Sir, this is TV Tropes, not r/AskReddit.
- I think Homer gets stupider every year.
- That's not a question, professor.
- I have seen everything that has ever happened, ever will happen, ever could happen. And yet...what the hell is this?!
- The thought of me dead gives you AN ERECTION?!?!
- Of course.
- It gave me a ROCK HARD COCK!
- What happened to the stairs?!
- Which one are you, the man or the woman?
- Nonbinary.
- Sometimes it's scary when your dreams come true, isn't it, sweetie?
- Will you sing that crazy song we love?
- How do you get square balloons?
- Where's Ohio?
- Why am I so bad at being good?!
- Evil Cannot Comprehend Good.
- We ARE All Evil. We All Behave In A Mutually Agreed-Upon Fashion Of Murder, Torture, Deceit And So Forth. Our Uniform Acceptance Of This Heinous Credo Creates An Orderly And Cooperative Society Which Hardly Seems Evil. Evil Is Doing Things That Make Others Hurt Or Fear. We ALL Do That, Of Course. But Since We ALL Do Such Things, As Sanctioned By Our Culture, It Would Be "Bad" To Do Otherwise.
- Who's Dewey?
- Hide and Then What Happens?
- What Ever Happened to SpongeBob?
- Insulting my integrity, eh, Fatso? Insinuating I'd flee this flea-bitten dump, eh, Fatso? Intimating I'd abscond with your financial remunerations, eh, Fatso?
- You want the frozen fish nuggets or the pork-a-roni?
- What Scared Sue Ellen?
- Nothing. She got Nerves of Steel.
- Is That Kosher?
- Are YOU Kosher?
- Won't someone please think of the children?!
- You are down with fascist dystopias, right?
- Would you PLEASE leave my testicles alone?!
- Aren't your twelve little German children gonna sing for me while I eat?
- My voice is louder than all of them combined. Want me to scream for you?
- So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, adieu.
- Now why would anyone bar the outside of the bathroom door?
- One time, she came in through the bathroom window.
- Yeah who smells moose and knock it off?
- You do, all the time.
- Bitch, you wanna make some motherfucking money?
- Money is of no value here.
- It’s not about the money. It’s about sending a message.
- It's not always about the money, Spider-Man. It's about the Mets, baby, love the Mets! Alright, baby, let's go! Get a homerun, baby! Love the Mets, let's go, Mets!
- Earn money with jobs and give value with time! If you mow your friend's lawn, then they'll give you a dime!
- I have all the money! Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves!
- WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY SHOES, PUNK?
- Oh, damn! It's nothing! It's stupid! You know those black shoes? I told you it was stupid! I bought this black dress to go with those black shoes, which I forgot to pack! I have six other pairs of shoes, two of which are running shoes, in case you're up for a little game later, and now I'm doubly screwed because I have two black dresses and no black shoes! I know what you're thinking: "Who cares what color shoes she's wearing?" But believe me, women notice!
- Your shoes aren't going to get you closer to heaven, honey!
- Your Jordans are fake. Fake as hell. Dollar store ass shoes.
- Oh, damn! It's nothing! It's stupid! You know those black shoes? I told you it was stupid! I bought this black dress to go with those black shoes, which I forgot to pack! I have six other pairs of shoes, two of which are running shoes, in case you're up for a little game later, and now I'm doubly screwed because I have two black dresses and no black shoes! I know what you're thinking: "Who cares what color shoes she's wearing?" But believe me, women notice!
- Hey Patrick, what am I now?
- Uh... stupid?
- No, I'm Texas!
- What's the difference?
- YOU’VE BECOME THE VERY THING YOU SWORE TO DESTROY!
- Uh... stupid?
- Hey, hey funny guy! I have a joke for you! What smells rotten and puts people to sleep?!
- Dude, Not Funny! I've heard this joke a hundred billion trillion times.
- Hydrogen sulphide's pretty good at putting people to sleep. Forever.
- How about a game of Hangman?
- Who wants a Krabby Patty at three in the morning?
- What is the mind? Is it just a system of impulses, or is it something tangible?
- And what'll it be - grey lumps in brown sauce or brown lumps in grey sauce?
- Both. Grey and brown lumps in both grey and brown sauces. I don't care if the colors match or not.
- Scooby-Doo and Guess Who?
- Why, Charlie Brown, Why?
- So, uh, what's the prevailing attitude, Charlie Brown?
- What are you, my mother?
- Anything else stupid and unreasonable that you want?
- Why did you eat my boots, Mr. Krabs?
- Me? I would never.
- BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TOOOOOOOOOOO!
- How about we sing "Kyle's Mom is a Stupid Bitch" in D minor?
- Yeah, D minor, alright, yeah!
- C Minor, put it in C Minor.
- Your Mom is the stupid bitch here.
- Lady, where's my spy camera? Where's my spy camera? Where is my spy camera, lady? Where is my spy camera? Where's my spy camera? Where's my spy camera?
- I AM your spy camera.
- Are you now, or have you ever been, a sponge?
- How could you possibly have fun with one of those oversized hairdryers?
- Oversized? This hairdryer is just right.
- Is this the final straw? Do you want to move so far away that you can brag about it? Would you rather tear out your brain stem, walk out into the middle of the nearest three way -- FOUR WAY -- four way intersection and skip rope with it than continue living where you do now?
- You know what? This city sucks!
- Move to Pensacola, they said. It'll be quiet in Pensacola, they said.
- Don't you have to be dead to have a memorial anything?
- Well, Patti LuPone built an Andrew Lloyd Webber Memorial Pool and Andy's still kicking...
- You mean like a boyfriend, or like a slave?
- Both, ideally.
- Any luck finding the comedian?
- Don't all you spandex boys have club meetings or something?
- I'm not one of those spandex boys. I'm fully armored.
- But how is it you are able to make these new...smaller organics?
- How are YOU able to make those new machines?
- Hi. My name is Teddy Ruxpin. Can you and I be friends?
- I'm Not Here to Make Friends.
- Friends are there to help you get started, but once you get started, who needs 'em?
- Nobody. Friends only ever stab me in the back...
- You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you.
- I don't need friends! I've got knives!
- YOU AND ME. ARE ALREADY [Friend Request Accepted] WE DON'T NEED ANYONE ELSE!!! WE DON'T NEED [[Easels]] or [[CRTs]]! WE DON'T NEED ANY [[Man, Woman, or Child]] [[At Half Price]]!! WE DON'T NEED [[MIKE]]!!! ... ... Mike...
- [Friends]!? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? YOU DON'T NEED [Friends]!! I CAN MAKE MY HANDS INTO PHONES!!!
- I'm Not Here to Make Friends.
- Just what are you doing in my tree?
- Will you go to sleep before I do?
- Hey, if we're underwater, how can there be a…?
- Am I the only one who understands the complexities of this ambitious cinematic masterpiece?
- So you're gonna email with every guy who has a dick and a death wish? Are we just your type?
- Only YOU would do something like that.
- Don't you just love playing Hotel Slam and Run?
- Hotel Slam and Run? What is that?
- Oh my lord, Kyle! Did you just throw doodoo at Eric?
- Is it illegal for Jews to eat Christmas snow?
- Since when?
- Why would you draw that?
- Well, I should say that the really weird artist has a kind of vision which makes models, or summons up what amounts to actual scenes from the spectral world he lives in. Anyhow, he manages to turn out results that differ from the pretender's mince-pie dreams in just about the same way that the life painter's results differ from the concoctions of a correspondence-school cartoonist.
- Calm down, son. It's just a drawing.
- Listen, you crustaceous cheapskate! Squidward's been living at my house, driving me crazy, and you're not gonna hire him back ALL BECAUSE OF A STUPID DIME?!
- Is there a never-ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen?
- The Unstoppable Mailman delivers it all.
- Who's the boy that can laugh at a storm cloud?
- Favorite word, what's your favorite word?
- What's the magic word!?
- You really think people would do that, just go on the Internet and tell lies?!
- Nice license. Can I touch it?
- What marches in, crawls up your leg, and bites the inside of your ass!?
- It's a show about nothing! How do we know when it's over?
- Check the TV guide.
- Probably when the credits roll.
- Just let me clarify this... you married your car?
- Why doesn't Pearl Jam ever come here?
- They're too busy collecting hammers.
- Because of their feud with Ticketmaster.
- What Have We Learned, Charlie Brown?
- I hope you learned a valuable lesson!
- I hope you learned a lot about enemies. Or ice cream. Or toaster repair?
- Nothing. I have Aesop Amnesia.
- That shooting things is fun and useful!
- Pianos are heavy.
- I guess the moral here is that pirate captains and third graders ought to have a healthy respect for each other's challenges.
- Sharon was too Sharon to work for us. We learned a valuable lesson. She did not.
- The lesson learned is, ya ain't no fun!
- So, in conclusion, grandfather clocks are not made out of real grandfathers!
- And so you can see, sticks and stones may break your bones, but names leave psychological wounds that never heal!
- Well, everyone, I think we learned a very important lesson: never trust your neighbors, 'cause they'll just turn out to be a bunch of tentacles connected to some big, weird alien monster.
- The only thing I know for certain in this world, is there's a strange man living inside my head who tells me to do things.
- You said it Yugi, now burn everything, burn it to the ground!
- If you're a sheep herder, and there's a snake taking away your sheep, what do you do to the snake?
- Let them eat the sheep. I'm more of a snake charmer than a sheep herder.
- You turn on the light.
- Do you like fish sticks?
- You've been wallowing in filth all morning. What could you possibly be grateful for?
- How are all these people able to dance here in the middle of the day? Don't they have jobs?
- Everyone has the right to have a good time.
- Oh, this is all a musical. The afterlife, I mean. It’s a musical.
- Who eats yogurt at a rock concert?
- Are these slippers gluten-free?
- Who can you rely on when the chips are down?
- Please, I'm a One-Man Army, I'm fine on my own.
- MENDOZAAAAAAAA!
- Do you want ants?!
- WOULD I!
- The ants are my friends; they're blowing in the wind.
- All ants must die!
- Ew. You get us a nice fat snake, I grub on that. Snake's good meat. I ain't eatin' no damn ant.
- This Foo. Who you?
- I'm a Cyborg, hence the name.
- I'm the cure for a sick, sad world.
- You face the princess of Tamaran.
- I am Sub-Zero, Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei.
- I am Raiden, God of Truth and Light.
- The name is Supergirl. You playing dress up?
- More like beat 'em up.
- The Name Is Bond, James Bond.
- My Name Is Inigo Montoya.
- I'm Batman!
- Hellboy, Paranormal Investigator.
- I'm John Cena!
- And I’m Kayne West!
- Harleen Quinzel, at your service!
- And what exactly is the plan against four dragons?
- RUN AWAY!
- Kel, grab a clown, a flagpole, and a submarine, and meet me in my room! Come on, Buffalo Bottoms!
- We should take Bikini Bottom… and push it somewhere else!
- If we start running now we might be able to make the car without losing too much blood.
- I mean a battle strategy! It's like the game, you figure out the enemy's type, and plan your attacks accordingly. Now tell me, what do you suppose these monsters are?
- Demons from Hell.
- Right, we need Holy Water.
- WE GRAB THEM! With this net!
- Quick! Change the channel!
- SHOOT THEM WITH THE DEHYDRATION GUN!
- How can I, little ol’ Luz, do magic if I don’t have a magic bile sac?
- WHY IS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP?
- Maybe you can tell me how to ask out a cotton candy-haired goddess?
- I'm not answering.
- WHO ARE YOU DEEP TOOT?
- Earth's only hero.
- Hi! I’m Badgey! Can I teach you a lesson?
- The lesson is for you.
- Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat?
- Where My Country Gone?
- Have you gained weight?
- You have a perfect civilization! Why would you want to add a woman to it?
- What team was Babe Ruth on?
- Team? Babe Ruth?
- I wonder where are all the hunters today?
- Waiting for you so they can hunt you down.
- Awww. This isn't gonna be about Jesus, is it?
- Think, Mark! (...) What will you have after 500 years?
- We’ll always have Tom Paris.
- A body so perfect it can't feel damaging pain or get fat. For a male body, it's where everything is muscle. For a female body, I want large boobs, a small waist, big hips, and a big butt. That and I can only feel self-aroused with this new body.
- That's kind of too much to ask, don't you think?
- Nothing is "too much" for me. I wish for it, I'll have it, however I planned it.
- Incorruptible Biscuits; they never go off. Arguably, they were never on.
- Where does your strength come from?
- What is this human fascination with remakes? The animated version is clearly superior!
- Fuck the animated version. The remake rules over all.
- BLASPHEMY!
- It's not blasphemy if it's true.
- Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
- Okay, but what if the remake was also animated?
- If they marketed it as live-action then it counts.
- Fuck the animated version. The remake rules over all.
- Why Must I Be A Crustacean In Love?
- But what does poop mean?
- A video and/or audio edit of a piece of media, often for comedic value, uploaded primarily on YouTube.
- Food waste coming out of your body from your ass.
- Shit come out da butt.
- Where are your gills?
- My dear, my lungs are my gills.
- You can’t just cut open a human, can you?
- When did I swallow a swing?
- WOULD YOU LIKE TO TASTE MY CANDY PAW?
- So, are you Chinese or Japanese?
- I'm Japanese, bitch!
- If you want to know who we are, we are gentlemen of Japan.
- I'm looking for Mr. wink bribe wink wink. Have you seen him?
- Who shot Mr. Burns?
- Colonel Mustard in the study with the lead pipe… not sure how he shot a man with a lead pipe…
- The Dog Was the Mastermind
- I dood it!
- It was me… it was me… it was me…
- What’s the first thing you do when you wake up from a bad dream?
- SCREAM. (AAAAAAAAAH!)
- Hey, why don't I have nice things? I want some nice things!
- Yes, yes, I killed your father. What is it with you women? I killed MY father, too, and you don't hear me whining about it!
- If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over you, what would you say?
- You have no idea what death means to mortals, do you?
- Of course I do. I just prefer to see them die a meaningless death.
- I could never fall off / Imma stay fly / Imma live forever, I ain’t ever gonna die / Hater’s gonna hate / Let me see you try / Imma live forever, I ain’t ever gonna die / I be like (ooh-ooh) / I got some enemies / I betcha wanna push me off a balcony / But (ooh-ooh) / One thing ‘bout me / I don’t sleep, I could never R.I.P.
- Oh dear! I’ve gotten a tube stuck on my nose! Will I ever eat again?
- How about I eat you instead?
- So much destruction. This reporter asks: why?
- I ain't got a problem with it. You ever put Uranus in a woodchipper?*
- "A-a-ahurm! A-hurm-hurm-hurm! We are on the air!" "I know, I don't give a shit!"
- Because you touch yourself at night! You Monster!
- I ain't got a problem with it. You ever put Uranus in a woodchipper?*
- How do you kill that which has no life?
- Life or no life, anyone and anything can be killed.
- With Strange aeons even death may die.
- Turn undead.
- Use a healing item.
- SHOOT THEM WITH THE DEHYDRATION GUN!
- I was gone sixty years! How long was it here?
- A mere one hundred billion trillionth of a second.
- I'm going on a date with a dragon?!
- Have you ever seen the sun set… at 3 PM?
- Unless it's winter in your area, no.
- Jesus, I overslept! It's already night. For the first time since I got here. On a planet with three suns.
[processing]
OH, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
- Isometric exercise, care to join me?
- Ever since you plug into monkey's head you act perfectly sane and rational. Am you Bizarro mommy?
- Have you killed a man, Hop Pop?
- What's a hypotenuse?
- What color is your cleansuit?
- Mariner is the captain’s daughter?
- You over 21?
- Where do you want us dropping our load?
- Which one is the real Santa Claus?
- Can you imagine a world without lawyers?
- Thomas, help me get into character! How are you feeling just moments before your death?
- Oh, Simpson, can't you go five seconds without humiliating yourself?
- If Misery Builds Character... No.
- May I suggest a series of grueling, life-endangering diagnostic tests?
- Are you ignoring me? You're ignoring me--why are you ignoring me? Why is everyone ignoring me?!
- WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP SAVING ME?!
- How could you have lied to me like that?
- How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a light bulb, huh?
- Are you so busy fighting you cannot see your own ship has set sail?
- Bitch, please. I can run faster than the ship can travel from Jacquemart Island to Cape Horn.
- What! You never seen a genius's wiener before?
- Wait, did you ask Mr. White if we could be in here?
- YOU DARE TO CLAIM DOMINION OVER ME?!
- Homer, did you ate that forbidden donut?
- What really killed the dinosaurs?
- What about the plot, Hemingway? What's an anvil got to do with this story?
- Guys, you know me. Do I respond rationally when a new thing I’m into is met with resistance?
- You're looking at it rationally! New things that are met with resistance and old things are not. Me? I'm NOT rational! I FEEL like taking you out, Devo!
- Did you rob a BANK?
- You put your soul into a ukulele?
- Actually, I'm a ukulele spirit.
- Which way did he go, George? Which way did he go?
- I'm supposed to throw away money?
- Where's the profit in that?
- It’s not all about the money, Spider-Man… It’s about the Mets! GO METS!
- Does science know what year it is?
- Whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?
- So when were you gonna tell me? The honeymoon?
- Think they'll ever learn that lesson in the Real World?
- What's the matter? Premature product launch?
- Well that was fun! Who's for Chinese?
- Was one of the dwarves named Snappy?
- The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth?
- How will you ensure this one won't achieve sentience and turn evil like all the others?
- Why can't I find Amanda Hugginkiss?!
- You know zombies aren’t real, right?
- Is that why we're Not Using the "Z" Word?
- Have I unearthed Oliver North's gold, or has it...unearthed me?
- Who are you? The Avatar's fangirls?
- If you miss him so much, why don't you marry him?
- He’s Married to the Job. No, really. It was a beautiful ceremony. Legally binding, too.
- Professor, sprinkle us with wisdom from your mighty brain! How scared should we be?
- How can something drink bone?
- Wow, Miss B, you're so nice to me! You're not trying to steal my kidneys are you?
- Hey, you. Are you at home on the elliptical watching this?
- Why won't you let me be a 40-year-old magician with a white-gold Rolex?!
- How do you know when you’ve found your nemesis?
- Is there a vocal competition afoot?
- Wait, you can just ask for things that you deserve?!
- Um, it's like, uh... did anyone see the movie Tron?
- No.
- What did you to Hotdog Knight #7?
- There he is, my little guy! There he is, my little guy! Isn't he cute?
- When do we get to see the Eiffel Tower?
- Yeah, that's one fine looking barbecue pit. WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT?!
- (gasp) Did I say "evil"?
- BENSON, WHY IS MY ARM ALL FURRY?!
- Do you wanna be entertained?
- "Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders." "He was a zombie?"
- Excuse me. Y’all with the cult?
- What's a nice, positive thing to say to everyone you meet tonight?
- …IT’S PEOPLE! SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!
- I'll cut off your nutsack and nail it to my door! Like one of those lion door-knockers rich folks got! That will be your balls!
- There is, most definitely a Hell! And you’re all going to go there in about 15 minutes!
- You will be spared during the reckoning and you have nice skin.
- Be careful, or be roadkill!
- I'm glad you're alive... but I'm also glad you died.
- No one is going to mistake you for anybody else you horribly unique freakshow.
- For 27 years... I dreamt of you. I craved you. I MISSED YOU!!!
- You Are a Credit to Your Race.
- You might not be interesting, but you're definitely not boring.
- I am no longer infected.
- Have a nice apocalypse.
- I love you 3000.
- DO NOT DISCARD YOUR DEAD IN THE EARTH. STRETCH THEM OUT BENEATH THE SKY, AND LET THEM BE CLAIMED BY HANDS THAT REACH DOWN FROM ABOVE. YOU ARE PERMITTED TO BELIEVE THESE ARE THE HANDS OF ANGELS.
- I know about the hockey team.
- I always come back!
- Thank you for coming! I’ll see you in Hell!
- I'll bury you all and dance on your graves!
- You can run, but I'll still be in your nightmares!
- You will achieve your dreams. Every single night, you will fall asleep, and achieve dreaming your dreams. Good job! Everything else is up in the air, but at least you have that.
- We have big dreams—sometimes scary, unforgettable dreams that repeat on the same date every year and are shared by every person in town—but we make those big dreams come true.
- Uh, excuse me, sir. My name is Phillip, I'm a single man, and my face is melting permanently on the entire lower half of my butt. Please pee on me, I'm pretty sure I would drown.
- WE ALL DESERVE TO DIE!
- WOMAN YOU ARE ONE GIANT LUMP OF COAL!
- You must have a really thin grasp on reality...unless, of course, you're suicidal.
- What time is it?
- "Fiction?!" "Fiction?!" Is our world but fiction?! Then what in my life is REAL anymore?!
- You Optimuses do love to sacrifice yourselves, don't you?
- Alright, so which half do you wanna interrogate?
- Now you’re poisoning yourself?
- What’s the first rule of being a detective?
- Why are you so angry, Mommy?
- Hey, hey, listen to this! Do I sound like I'm on old time radio?
- No, you fool! Video Killed the Radio Star!
- What is… the Krabby Patty secret formula?
- What Has Science Done?!?!
- What is a “donkey show”?
- Can't we just kill him? Shoot him and spill his blood?
- WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY LEGS, YOU NAZI WALRUS BASTARD?
- You mean you have to choose between a life without sex and a gruesome death?
- "I don't like pistachio!" "Then why did you ask for it?"
- What, you think only big guys can be strong?
- Don't you think I can tell the difference between a real girl and an impostor?
- Of course you can’t, otherwise you’d see how sus she is!
- Louie left his house at 2:15 and has to travel a distance of 6.2 miles at a rate of 5 miles per hour. What time will Louie arrive?
- For Calculon's immortal soul, guess the number I am thinking of!
- Why is there a leopard on the Cheetos bag?
- I know it's our job to help this guy and everything, but I think this guy's a lost cause. He's obviously made up his mind, why don't we just cut our losses and get outta here?
- What does a winner do when life gives him lemons?
- When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am?! I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down...with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that will burn your house down!
- Call them yellow oranges and sell them for double the price.
- So this is how the great Commander Zhao acts in defeat?
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