The Fan Fiction
Written by a former
US Marine tank crewman, the author brings out the
inherent humor of the Marine Corps.
- Traveling through the black nothingness in the gate.
Wilkes: I spy with my little eyes... something black.
Elton: Oh shit Rampage, lemme fucking guess, uh nothing?
Wilkes: Naw, you.
- When Rory joins Charlie Company's Marine Corps Birthday barbecue and is creeping everyone out as usual, Kincaid promptly throws the JSDF tankers under the bus, claiming, "Their tanks are even more fun than ours!" Itami, not wanting to make his own tankers hate him, gives him a "Dude, what the FUCK??!!" look.
- The first meeting with Italica. The city's defenders are scared shitless to see Rory, a mage, an elf, and the strange newcomers in the green "iron wagons" at their gates, backed by four of the notorious "iron chariots". Itami calmly knocks, indicating that they come in peace. Then an overly-excited princess accidentally knocks him out cold with the door.
- Horsemen Platoon, fearing the worst, comes rolling in hard, ready to flatten the city if need be, only to stop in laughter when they realize what happened (and see how utterly terrified the locals are).
"Surprise, motherfuckers!"
- The entire tank platoon cracking up over Pina's full name.
- Elton finding out just how much Jasper is rubbing off him.
Van Hauser: Who taught you how to talk like black Shakespeare by the way?
Elton: My dumbass gunner's
cartoons.
- Horsemen Platoon are invited to the Formal Estate as honored guests of the Countess. First, they improv an episode of MTV Cribs in the courtyard, then they meet the estate's maids. While most of the Marine tankers are surprised and/or weirded out by the cat girls, bunny girls, gorgon girls, etc., anime nerds Kincaid and Benitez have this exchange:
Kincaid: Benitez, the Promised Land...it has found us!
Benitez: Life is good, man.
Elton: Fucking nerds.
Elton: Yo, Kincaid!
Kincaid: What?
Elton: Didn't we kill some guy named Formal?
Kincaid: ...We did?
Elton: Yeah, you don't remember? Ginza? The guy that charged at us with the fucking spear? Those guys with him kept yelling "Formal," or some shit.
Kincaid: ...They did?
Elton: Yeah, I could hear 'em over the engine, I shit you not.
Kincaid: ...Oh yeah, that guy...whoops.
- "Of all the ones you could choose, it had to be Medusa herself? That's fucking bizarre, man!"
- Chapter 14 brings back the Running Gag of Itami's Mistaken for Gay trope.
Kincaid: (to himself) Oh god, he's gonna come out and I have to tell him I don't swing that way.
- Chapter 15 probably brings out the only true way to wake up in the Marine Corps.
Wilkes: Oh Jasper-kuuuun, rise and shine.
Jasper: No... five more minutes...
Wilkes: Bitch! Fuck your five minutes!
- Rory freaking out on a Tokyo subway train, because the underworld is Hardy's domain, and she fears Hardy might find her. Not because Hardy wants her dead, mind you. No, Hardy has...other ideas.
- Chapter 21 has Aldritch treating a BL manga he took from Pina and Bozes like hazmat.
- Benitez getting "voluntold" to chaperone Rory, Tuka, and Lelei on their Tokyo shopping spree. When Kincaid texts him later, he texts back, "Seriously, suck my dick through a garden hose, pendejo."
- Also from Chapter 21: Jasper and Wilkes' double date with Kurokawa and Kuribayashi. Shino surprises them with a trip to...a cutesy Catgirl-themed maid cafe!
Wilkes: Bruh...what the hell is this!?
- The image of two battle-hardened United States Marines wearing fake cat ears and saying "Nya Nya" to order their meals.
- A cute scene of Mari sharing part of her meal with Jasper is interrupted by Shino trying the same thing...by shoving a whole cupcake in Wilkes' mouth.
- Wilkes and Kincaid discussing the pronunciation of Mari's last name.
Wilkes: You and fuckin' Kuro-wawa over there playing Disney Romance Deep Throat Edition with food.
Kincaid: Like that cupcake? And it's KuroKAWA.
Wilkes: Yeah? Kuro-kuh-Kiss my black ass.
- Chapter 24 has Lelei trying to speak in modern Earth slang.
