Funny / Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2

Red Alert 2

• Any scene with Romanov, a larger than life, lecherous and unapologetic walking ham.
• Who is matched by Einstein in terms of ridiculous accents and Hammyness.
• Due to the nature of his prostheses requiring that they be physically glued to his head, Udo Kier (Yuri's actor) was forced to remain in makeup even when not filming. This lead to bizzare behind-the-scenes photos◊ of a vest-wearing Yuri sitting at a picnic table, quietly eating lunch.
• When Romanov adresses Yuri to the Commander for the first time, he taps Yuri on his shoulder and startles him, as if Udo Kier didn't expect that.
• In the Allied campaign, after you rescue President Dugan from Yuri's mind control, he showers you with praise and promises to promote you to... whatever you like... except for President of course.
• In the Allied campaign, after Washington D.C. is occupied by the Soviets, the U.S. forces are forced to evacuate to Canada; General Carville isn't too happy about it:
  General Carville: I know, Canada... More cows up here than people...
  • Which leads to this bit in a later mission briefing, when the Allied forces make their move to retake D.C.:
    General Carville: I'm tired of hangin' out in Canada.
    [points a miniature gatling gun statue at the player]
    General Carville: Get me my office back!
• This is the first game in the series that allows you to garrison civilian structures to add to your infantry's offensive and defensive power. Any building can be garrisoned, from office buildings or the Pentagon to fast-food restaurants. But what puts it in this section is the fact that when you garrison a building, it visually changes: sandbags appear, barbed wire, barricaded windows... even appearing on a Port-A-Potty. Some of the fast food mascots like McBurger Kong can sport bandannas and machine guns!
• Einstein takes the cake in Mirage, one of the late missions in the Allied campaign. Every time soviet forces approach the Chronosphere, he interrupts the communication between the player and Eva, who gets increasingly annoyed about this.
• Dugan appears to be a bit too chummy with his secretary, who happens to be suspiciously reminiscent of Monica Lewinsky.
• Romanov's reaction after the missile silo is destroyed in the penultimate Allied mission:
  Romanov: [leisurely drinking tea] I warned you that we would destroy you, Commander. Now that warning will—
  [aide rushes in and starts whispering in his ear. Romanov freezes, then turns to stare uncomprehendingly at him]
  Romanov: ...What.
  Aide: ...D-disabled... da. Missiles have been disabled!
  Romanov: WHAT THE--?!
  Aide: Yeeessss!
  Romanov: [dashes cup to the floor in rage] BAAAAAAH!!!! Your time is up, Commander! And you WILL be crushed!! [on the verge of tears] Very soon!
• In the Soviet campaign, President Dugan is stated to make a plea for help from Europe, while he's in an "undisclosed location". Cue a GI in the background accidentally dropping a Canada flag. When you consider that when he does reappear, its in Texas, this might have been a ruse.
• If you fail to destroy the Psychic Beacon in time in the eighth Allied mission, Tanya gets mind-controlled and you are treated with the only failure cutscene in the whole game, where Tanya tries to plead the commander to join the Soviet cause just like her... but you'd be excused for thinking that Tanya was acting like she was drunk.
• In Allied Mission 3, the mind-controlled General Carville cheerfully extols the virtues of communism while stirring his coffee with a Soviet flag. He's "realized" the commies just want the same thing as Americans: female companionship and a big steak.
• In Soviet Mission 7, General Vladimir is shown wiping his boots with the American flag in the occupied White House. It should be insulting, but his casual disregard for America is just so humorous.
• In the Allied ending, Romanov is captured... hiding underneath his desk, in his underwear. Underwear with hammer and sickle motifs on them. He must really love the Soviet Union.
• As any long time C & C fan will tell you, Kane is supposedly behind everything. As shown in the "Making Of" Features, that apparently includes the camera.
• Anything that the Allied Amphibious Transport says, due to the pilots literally talking exactly like they're some sort of tour guide, in contrast to the other two Amphibious Transports, which more or less act professional.
  • (When Selected)
    "Welcome aboard!"
    "Having a nice day?"
    "How about an adventure?"
    "Plenty of window seats!"
    "See the countryside!"
  • (When commanded to move)
    "We're on our way!"
    "Let's take the scenic route."
    "Wanna stop for a picture?"
    "What a view!"
    "Enjoy the ride!"
• For both the base game and Yuri's Revenge, there's an occasional "glitch" in the walking animation for the Engineer. Sometimes, the walking will briefly freeze and he continues to slide forward. This makes it almost look like the Engineer is roller/ice skating!

Yuri's Revenge

• In the first Allied campaign mission briefing of Yuri's Revenge, Lt. Eva uses a pointer on a map to point to the Psychic Dominator location in San Francisco. However, if you look closely, she actually points to Reno, Nevada on the map.
• In the first Soviet mission in the expansion pack, your forces hijack a time machine with the intent of altering the past in their favor. The time machine powers up, there is a bright flash... and you find yourself face-to-face with a dinosaur.
  (Zofia taps a control panel, frowns, and taps it again before a concerned look crosses her face)
  Zofia:: We have escaped into the past, comrade general... but I'm afraid that our superior Soviet engineers have increased the efficiency of the American power plants too much.
  • The fact that you can find a controllable dinosaur that you can bring to the present and have it fight Yuri's forces to cause a delightful Book Ends situation in the end.
• When Romanov's plane gets shot down over Morocco your goal is to find him. Where is he? A Cabaret, having drinks served to him by a belly dancer. Not only that that - he's at Rick's Place!
• Yuri's fate in the Soviet ending in the expansion. You know how you accidentally went back in time to the Cretaceous by using too much power? When Yuri jacks the Time Machine, Zofia sends him there on purpose.
  Zofia: We still have the Time Machine's command codes, comrade general. (evil smirk) I have overridden the controls and released all of the energy reserves. If you remember, we ourselves have had some difficulty when too much energy was channeled into the machine...
• General Carville's reaction to the "Floating Disk" unit when it first appears:
  Carville: Holy cow! Commander, we got some kind of UFO on the scope. Either it's an alien invasion, or Yuri's been watching too much TV.
  • This gets even more hilarious when you realize that, while Yuri may be an unhinged lunatic, he hasn't come up with any original idea of his own. The bio-reactors? He stole that idea from The Matrix. Brutes? The Incredible Hulk with the Serial Numbers Filed Off. Making an army of inferior clones of himself? Every cheesy sci-fi ever. Brain-powered tank? Psychonauts. The grinder that turns soldiers into Human Resources? Soylent Green. Yuri has indeed been watching too much TV.
• Tanya objects to the praise given to Boris by mission control.
  Tanya: What? [laughs] Yeah, right, Boris is skilled. 'Look at me, I can call in an airstrike!' Please...
• Upon hearing about a base in Transilvania, Romanov mocks Yuri's theatricality with some of his own.
  Romanov (Doing the Frankenstein gait) He is like monster from movies, yes?
• Also, Romanov's speech at the beginning of the Moon mission.
  Romanov: Finally the Soviets have reached the Moon! One little baby step for comrade general, one giant LEAP for Soviet people, yes?! Hah ha!
  • Romanov is playing with a toy rocket and making woooooosh sounds.
  • In the moon mission you can train Cosmonauts, who are essentially Rocketeers with laser guns. One of their death screams where they're shot down is pure Black Comedy.
  Cosmonaut: WE NEED MORE FUNDING!
• A small one: the Mummy (a secret unit) in some maps has an animation where its arm falls off and it just casually puts it back on.
• In the cutscene for "Clones Down Under", Carville briefs his generals on Yuri's cloning operation in Sydney. While Carville takes the whole thing seriously, the general whose face is visible looks at Carville with an expression that just screams "This is fucking absurd."
• In "Trick or Treaty", President Dugan implores the commander to protect the peace negotiations by saying "You don't want the Vice President running the country, do you?!".

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