What An Idiot / Scrubs

• Even the pilot has this. Elliott has established herself as a smart doctor who gets nervous and uses J.D.'s attraction of her to make herself look better during rounds. At one point, she gets annoyed when facing sexism, and a nurse named Carla notices. Carla tells her it gets easier.
  You'd Expect: Elliott with her smarts would have realized that rule one of being a doctor is never antagonize a nurse. especially one who is trying to help her. They are good at their jobs for a reason. J.D. is noticeably Nice to the Waiter in the pilot because he's still scared of messing up procedures, and Carla affectionately calls him "Bambi" for this reason.
  Instead: When Carla is attempting to comfort her, Elliott references her wearing a thong and sleeping with Turk in the breakroom. She says "Word gets around fast." Elliott is not trying to be snide here, just self-righteous.
  Predictably: Carla gives her a "The Reason You Suck" Speech and reveals that she knows Elliott is a social-climber trying to schmooze with Dr. Cox because word does travel fast. She warns Elliott that you don't build a career of throwing others under the bus or taking credit for their work. This makes the rest of the nurses hostile to Elliott for a while as well. For the rest of season one, Elliott tries to make up for her faux pas with Carla, who takes a long time to forgive her. Carla gives a similar speech to Katie in season 8, revealing it's not her first rodeo.
  • "My Mentor" has Elliott tattling on Carla to Dr. Kelso about a procedure gone wrong. While she is right that Carla endangered her patient, the timing and context are absolutely off. J.D. knows that you do not cross the nurses since they are your backbone in the hospital, and Dr. Kelso tells Elliott to handle the problem when the whole crew starts freezing her out because he doesn't want to get involved in such petty politics. Elliott is also unaware that she has Open Mouth, Insert Foot syndrome and has been insulting people left and right. J.D. makes her go to Carla and apologize because the rest of the nurses are freezing out Elliott and keeping her from doing her job. Carla accepts her apology, and J.D. tells Elliott problem solved and can we please move on? It seems that the situation has resolved before a commercial break.
    You'd Expect: Elliott would stop there, and save any venting for her therapist.
    Instead: She goes on a rant about all the things that Carla did was wrong with the procedure. Again, she may be right but the timing is super off and as an intern she is junior to a nurse who has worked there for eight years. To cap off how stupid this is, J.D. has an Imagine Spot of Elliott literally digging her own grave, with soil on her hands, and then lying down in it as he tosses a flower towards her.
    The Result: This makes the nurses even more hostile to Elliott, with Carla leading the vitriol. It gets to the point where maybe they laugh at her when she drops her lunch tray in the hospital cafeteria, if we believe J.D.'s Imagine Spot. Only then does Elliott shape up, apologizing by praising Carla in Dr. Kelso's presence. Then Turk convinces Carla to make up with her, and advising Elliott to keep her mouth shut.
• In an early season 1 episode, J.D. asks Dr. Cox to fill out a mandatory evaluation form that all interns need to be completed. Cox thinks that J.D. is too much of a people-pleaser and for every doctor, they are the only people who evaluate themselves.
  You'd Expect: Dr. Cox would sit J.D. down, and explain this to him.
  Instead: He carelessly tells J.D. he's busy, and goofs off watching basketball when not tending to his patients. Even worse, he says that J.D. can fill out his own form and Cox will just sign it.
  Predictably: J.D. tells him off for lying to him, and saying it's unethical for Dr. Cox to tell J.D. to do his own evaluation. It's only after he fills it out that Dr. Cox explains that J.D. has to evaluate himself every day that he works as a doctor because ultimately no one else's opinion matters, including Cox, Kelso, or the later chiefs of medicine. Cox admits to a group of hospital admin, however, that J.D. is a great doctor and he needs to stop caring about what others think.
• Dr. Cox asks J.D. to tape the birth of his friend's child and provides him with a tape recorder (already containing a tape) to do so.
  You'd Expect: that the tape in the tape recorder would be the one Dr. Cox expected J.D. to use, since he didn't say anything to indicate otherwise.
  Instead: After the baby has been born Dr. Cox reveals that he "punches out the tabs" on all of his tapes, so the one already in the recorder was unable to be taped over. This means that there is no video, despite J.D. attempting to take one.
  The Cherry on Top: Dr. Cox berates J.D. for not automatically assuming that he should have gotten a fresh tape without any hint that he should do so, then fakes a tape for his friends with a baby that looks nothing like theirs.
• Dr. Kelso is a Faux Affably Evil Chief of Medicine who bullies the interns to keep them in line, and will be petty about the tiniest of issues. Or so he wants people to think; the series reveals that Kelso acts like a big jerk because the hospital works better when everyone hates him. Some people, like Carla, even get a glimpse into his softer side.
  You'd Expect: People to eventually realize that Dr. Kelso acts this way to get people to do their jobs, so they should try to help out if they want him to be nicer.
  Instead: Almost as soon as any character finds out how hard Kelso works, Aesop Amnesia kicks in with full force.
• In Season Two, Elliott starts a relationship with a Nice Guy nurse named Paul. Paul loves to cook, is mildly bossy, but adores Elliott. Their relationship starts to founder when he says he loves her and Elliott says “I love U2” while looking at CDs. She’s not at the point where she can admit she loves Paul.
  You’d Expect: She would admit her mistake to Paul, and they work to repair the damage from her poor choice of words.
  Instead: Elliott keeps her worries to herself, trying to cover up what she said. She starts noticing Paul's flaws more and thinks there is nothing to save. Then she takes Paul to the park for a breakup picnic and only explains it then.
  The Result: Paul rightly chews her out for not communicating with him. This leaves them both hurt and their relationship in shambles.
• "My Advice To You": Dr. Cox notices that J.D. is leading the interns. He and Kelso disagree how to treat one patient. Dr. Cox tries to get J.D. on his side, which works because the young doctor likes him. Kelso schemes to reveal that Cox is only doing the opposite of what his superior suggests and doesn't actually trust J.D.'s leadership.
  You'd Expect: Dr. Cox would see through the ruse when Dr. Kelso calls out that J.D. is a good intern.
  Instead: He responds that J.D. is the worst, and Doug is the best, without skipping a beat, in J.D.'s presence.
  The Result: A disillusioned J.D. convinces the interns to go against Dr. Cox, and Kelso rubs it in Cox's face that he can't stop being an ass. Dr. Cox has to swallow his pride to hold back his usual mockery of J.D.'s effeminate side and explain his reasons for treating that particular patient.
• "My Screw Up": A big one from Jordan's brother and Perry's favorite person in the world, Ben Sullivan. Back in season one, he received a diagnosis for leukemia, and entered remission after intense treatments. Ben figured that life was too short and decided to travel. Dr. Cox and Jordan are more than okay with this.
  You'd Expect: The man would remember to get regular checkups and blood tests. His brother-in-law is a doctor and would recommend this to check for a resurge of cancer cells. Remission can be as short as a few months or as long as a few years.
  Instead: During the two years that Ben spends traveling, he refuses to see a doctor. He also doesn't tell Jordan or Dr. Cox about this.
  The Result: When Dr. Cox finds this out, shortly after Ben has returned to the States, he goes Oh, Crap! while still smiling. He orders J.D. to give Ben a checkup immediately and doesn't care when J.D. says that he's swamped. Before J.D. can get started, Ben dies of cardiac arrest, and it's revealed his cancer returned. While Dr. Cox blames J.D. initially, a hallucination of Ben points out to Perry what he already knew: Ben was the real idiot in the situation for not getting regular medical care, which he should have as a cancer survivor. Jordan becomes uncharacteristically withdrawn in the next episode, leaning on her obnoxious friends for support, and Dr. Cox feels helpless.
• In Season Three, Elliott starts dating marine trainer Sean again, and soon after J.D. rekindles his feelings for Elliott. Sean knows that J.D. likes Elliott but doesn't see him as a threat, even when he decides to fly to Hawaii and risk a long-distance relationship rather than outright break up with Elliott. Elliott then starts having doubts when Sean falls asleep while talking on the phone with her, and thinks she gets a love epiphany after J.D. covers clown doctor duties for her. J.D.is newly single after he briefly dated Jordan's sister Danni.
  You'd Expect: Elliott to remember that she wanted the long-distance relationship with Sean, when he was willing to make a clean break and spare them yanked heartstrings.
  You'd Also Expect: J.D. to remember how his last two hookups with Elliott went: terribly. And also you'd expect he would remember that he only started noticing Elliott again after realizing she was unavailable. Danni tells him as much.
  Instead: Elliott surprises J.D. and they end up sleeping together. Soon after, Sean arrives on a flight to surprise Elliott with a visit. He narrowly misses catching Elliott cheating on him.
  The Result: J.D. can't stand all these mixed messages from Elliott, even when he lies to a suspicious Sean, who wants to have her cake and eat it too. After a few episodes of hesitation, he manages to break up the couple up by declaring he loves Elliott. Only then he realizes he doesn't love her, and breaks up with her. Everyone ends up miserable and single by the end of the season, although later on Sean dates J.D.'s ex Kim and manages to find a happy ending.
• "My Big Bird"
  • J.D. is annoyed when his latest patient won't thank him for saving his life.
    You'd Expect: He would wait until he is free to look up the patient.
    Instead: He leaves while on call due to his pride. Then when Turk has to clock into work, J.D. decides to stay behind to thank a garbageman.
    The Result: He and Turk are put under investigation for Mr. Foster's death, since they were both supposed to be watching him.
  • Elliot's newest patient is a child, with a handsome father named Jimmy. Jimmy tells Elliot that his wife is "no longer with us" and flirts with her.
    You'd Expect: Elliot to remember that dating patients' family members never goes well. She saw how J.D. got into unhealthy relationships with Jamie and Danni because of it.
    Instead: She hooks up with the guy, much to Carla's disapproval. And it turns out Jimmy lied and his wife Millie is alive and well!
    You'd Then Expect: Elliot would talk to Millie about what happened, apologize, and explain Jimmy lied to her.
    Instead: She tells Jimmy that he needs to admit to Millie he cheated on her. Jimmy does, and paints a target on Elliot's back for Millie to hit. It also means he's a Karma Houdini for cheating on his wife.
  • Following this, Millie has been chasing after Elliot all day and calling her a whore, and not giving her a chance to explain that her husband Jimmy lied to Elliot about his wife being dead. Even if she's understandably angry about being cheated on, she is posing a danger to Elliot and keeping her from doing her job.
    You'd Expect: Elliot would confront her after finding hospital security to back her up. That way if Millie still refuses to listen to reason that Elliot was lied to and used, then she can be escorted out and Elliot can check on her patients.
    Instead: Elliot confronts Millie alone, apologizing for what she did, and hoping they can both leave each other with their dignity. Millie then says she's going to punch her in the face. Elliot decides to throw down with her.
    The Result: Millie duct-tapes her to a wall with the sign, "Hi, I'm a whore!" Also, this makes Elliot partially responsible for Mr. Foster's death and put under investigation.
• “My Musical”: A woman named Ms. Miller collapses in the park. J.D. and Elliott happen to be in the area; they go check on her. Ms. Miller hears everyone singing, and she doesn’t understand why. Her medical tests reveal nothing so far that would explain the singing.
  You’d Expect: Dr. Cox to realize this would be a head-related trauma and to order more tests.
  Instead: He assumes she’s “crazy” and prepares to transfer her to the psych ward.
  The Result: Ms. Miller has to browbeat Dr. Cox into giving her an MRI, after doing him a favor and getting J.D. to stop talking. That’s when the radiologist finds a large aneurysm in her temporal lobe, which requires immediate surgery. Dr. Cox looks really guilty when he has to tell Ms. Miller, though he assures her that she’s going to be okay.
• During Season Six, J.D. is with the mother of his baby, Kim, who proceeds to lie that she miscarried and breaks up with him. After going through Heroic BSoD about that and being functionally homeless, J.D. and Turk bust her for the lie when they see her speaking at a conference with a heavily-pregnant body. J.D. talks to Kim a little but really doesn't want to invite her back into his life. Turk explains it's because she broke his trust and J.D. is still hurt.
  You'd Expect: Someone would suggest to J.D. to get marriage counseling with Kim. They need to work through it together since Kim has become The Atoner about lying to him.
  Instead: They pretty much tell him to suck it up and humor her, blaming her decisions on pregnancy hormones.
  The Result: J.D. commits to staying with Kim for the baby's sake, only to blurt out while she's in labor that he no longer loves her. They end their relationship while adoring their newborn boy and J.D. needs Dr. Cox to reassure him that he's not ruining his child's life.
• A big one from Ed, one of the newest interns. He is Brilliant, but Lazy, and Dr. Cox pegs this. When they talk, Ed sincerely says that he's fine with coasting on his smarts since he's one of the best interns they have. He says that if that changes, Dr. Cox can tell him. The older man promises that he will come down hard on Ed. Sure enough, thanks to the other interns working their butts off, they surpass Ed and Dr. Cox notifies him.
  You'd Expect: Since Ed is established as smart, just unmotivated, that he would shape up and start reading. As far as we know, he's not diagnosed with ADHD or learning disabilities so that isn't an excuse. Ed also has done reading before.
  Instead: He keeps finding excuses to blow off work, and goofing off by taking unsupervised phone calls with his roommate. The attendings get annoyed on realizing he's starting trends among the others. Dr. Cox calls him out for reaching the point, and reminding him of their deal that Ed needs to catch up.
  The Result: For a few episodes, when Dr. Cox becomes the new Chief of Medicine, he takes it personally that Ed is not doing the work as an intern. He runs around frantically, and threatening him to study. When Dr. Cox loses patience, he fires Ed.

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