Self Demonstrating / The Three Stooges

"We may be slappin' each other around, but we're soitenly there for each other."

Curly: Hello!
Moe: Hello!
Larry: Hello!

Hello!

Moe: Greetings and salutations! For we are the Three Stooges. I'm Moe.
Larry: I'm Larry.
Curly: I'm Curly. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Moe: Quiet, you apple-head!
Curly: Ruff!
Moe: Why you...
Larry: Hey, you guys, quit stallin'. We got a page to talk about.
Moe (to Larry): For once in your life, you're right. (to Curly) Remind me to kill you later!
Curly: Soitenly! I'll make a note of it. (He searches his pockets) I ain't a got pencil or paper.
Moe: Never mind. (he slaps Curly)
Curly: Oh! I didn't do nothin'!
Moe: Yet.
Larry: Come on, quit stallin'!
Moe: Gonna start that again? (he hits Larry on the head) Now, as I was saying, this is a "self-demonstrating" article...
Curly: If it's self-demonstratin', we shouldn't have to be doin' this at all. (Moe slaps him) Oh! Hmmph!
Moe: It's 'cause we're demonstrating our selves, you numbskull! Now, shaddup!
Larry: Yeah! (Moe glares at him) I will, too.
Moe: Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. We'll be talkin' about all our escapades on this here page. Almost everything we can stuff in.
Curly: I'd rather have the cranberry sauce kept outta the stuffing. (Moe eyepokes him) Ow-hoh-oh-oh! I can't see, I can't see!
Moe & Larry: What the matter?
Curly: I got my eyes closed. (Moe flicks his nose) Ooh! Hmmph! Ruff!
Moe: Quiet, Airedale!
Larry: Yeah, quiet!
Moe: You stay outta this! (he head-clunks Larry)
Now, this is a page about us listin' almost everything about us, and we'll be talkin' about 'em down there! So quit lookin' here and start readin' those tropes down there!

Larry: Also, we'll only be talkin' about ourselves, and ourselves only; Shemp, Besser, and Curly-Joe won't be talked about. If ya want, you can help us add more know-how about us guys.

These tropes are woith readin'. They're informative, they're knowledgeable, they're even mediocre.

• Accidental Athlete:
  Larry: We were once mistaken for three famous horsemen from Bolder Dam.
  Moe: But we didn't know about it, and when being asked to play football, this guy paid us, and we needed the money anyway.
• Acrofatic:
  Curly: For a guy like me, I'm pretty light on my feet. I even ran down to the bottom floor of an apartment building to catch a cake.
• Adolf Hitlarious:
  Moe: We were the first comedy act to ever make fun of Schiklgruber.
  Larry: Even beatin' Charlie Chaplin at nine months.
  Curly: Yeah, the guy that walks like this... (Moe slaps him) Ooh!
• Adults Dressed as Children:
  Larry: Once we had to get away from bein' caught by Dr. Yankum, we had to lie about bein' refugees. I was a girl.
  Moe: Gettin' personal? (he slaps Larry)
• All Just a Dream:
  Curly: When I had a sore tooth, but when I was fightin' in my sleep, I woke up slammed down onto Moe and Larry, then I got socked by Moe, and he knocked my tooth out like so.
• Amusing Injuries:
  Curly: Every biff, every bopp, every sic, every sock, every...
  Moe: That's enough! No matter how many times we get hurt, we're still in one piece.
• Bears Are Bad News:
  Curly: Bare in mind, we had some hard luck not runnin' into any bears when we hit the woods.
• Berserk Button:
  Curly: Well, we have many, but don't get me started on Niagara Falls.
  Moe & Larry: Niagara Falls!
  Curly: Nyah-ah-ah!
  Moe & Larry: SLOWLY I turned... and STEP by STEP, INCH by INCH...
• Broke Episode:
  Moe: We're usually flat broke and down on our luck.
  Curly: We usually have to rely on solutions to make a quick buck, or by finding some food we can snatch.
• Butt-Monkey:
  Larry: As Moe said, we're down on our luck and usually have fate against us.
• The Cameo:
  Curly: We had a small role as subway workers that drilled through that lady's floor.
  Moe: And a downright macrobiotic one as those firefighters!
  Curly: I don't remember that one.
  Larry: Like I said, we ain't talkin' about that!
• Character Catchphrase:
  Moe: We have many from five to 6⅞.
  • Moe: I have...
    • "Spread out!"
    • "What's the matter with you?"
    • "Remind me to kill you later."
    • "I'll murder you!"
    • and "Pick out two."
  • Larry: Mine are:
    • "Leave 'im alone!" whenever Moe picks on Curly. Yet, guess what I get when I say that.
    • And I also had "Hey, what's goin' on around here?".
  • Curly: If you think that's good, you ain't read nothin' yet.
    • "Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk."
    • "Woob-woob-woob-woob-woob-woob-woob!"
    • "I'm a victim of soicumstance!"
    • "Hey, Moe, hey, Larry!"
• Chubby Mama, Skinny Papa:
  Larry: I had a few infatuations with big gals. They're light on their feet, but heavy to carry.
• Cloudcuckoolander:
  Curly: I remember I had a cousin that had a cuckoo-clock. Guess he was cuckoo for 'em.
• Deadpan Snarker:
  Larry: My common habit.
  Moe: Quit braggin'. (he eyepokes him)
• Department of Redundancy Department:
  Curly: We tend to say the same meaning in many different sayings, adjectives, even nouns, and let's not forget about phrases. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
• Disguised in Drag:
  Moe: Our common trick to get away from the cops or others.
• D.I.Y. Disaster:
  Larry: Everything we do is outta whack! One of us is crazy and it's not you...wait.
• Dope Slap:
  Moe: And how! Allow me to demonstrate. (slaps Curly)
  Curly: Ow! What didja do that for?!
  Moe: Oh, you know what you did!
• Einstein Hair:
  Larry: Does my hair really look like Einstein's?
  Moe: You don't think like him. (He hits him on the head)
• Extreme Omnivore:
  Curly: I never heard of it.
  Moe: Neither have I.
  Larry: Yeah, thinkin' about what it means makes me wanna have burnt toast and a rotten egg.
  Moe: Why would ya eat that?
  Larry: I got a tapeworm and that's good enough for 'im.
• Eye Poke:
  Larry: Don't get us started on that.
  Moe: Quiet, porcupine. (cue eyepoke)
• Fat Idiot:
  Curly: Listen, you! On behalf of that phrase, I resent that!
• Flowery Insults:
  Moe: I don't insult 'em that much, you nitwit!
• Food Fight:
  Larry: Whenever we're at a party at a classy joint, it always ends up with throwin' pies.
• Hard Head:
  Moe: Yeah, what do ya got in your head anyway? An iron plate?
  Curly: No, a brain.
  Moe: Oh. (Double Take) Why you...!
  Curly: Don't you dare hit me on the head! You know I'm not normal.
  Moe: You're lucky.
• He-Man Woman Hater:
  Larry: We were once members of the Woman Haters club.
  Moe: Until Mongoose here broke the rule and didn't call off that wedding for that dame!
  Larry: Don't get personal! Besides, you had your eyes on her too, after you knew about it.
• Jerkass:
  Moe: Who?
  Larry: You!
  Moe: Oh, yeah?
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold:
  Moe: ...well, I know I can be rough to you guys, but I know when I am.
  Larry: Sometimes, I wonder.
  Moe: Oh, ungrateful, eh? (he slaps him)
• Karma Houdini:
  Moe: We always get away... (snapping his fingers) ...like that. Almost.
• Lethal Chef:
  Curly: Are you kiddin'? My cookin' is to die for!
  Moe: It probably meant "legal".
  Curly: Oh, that's different.
• Malaproper:
  Curly: Malaproper? I had experience with mallards. As long as they're properly raised.
• Manchild:
  Curly: We're not children, but we are men!
• Mirror-Cracking Ugly:
  Moe: This frizzle-top breaks more mirrors that way.
• The Movie:
  Moe: We had our own picture set in the current day.
  Larry: And it was directed by the Farrelly brothers.
  Curly: And they were a fairly good bunch.
• Never My Fault:
  Larry: I don't see why Moe can't see it's usually his fault when we all do somethin' stupid.
  Moe: Why, I'll show you somethin' that is my fault, you chowderhead! (hits Larry on the head)
• New Job as the Plot Demands:
  Moe: In most of our little crusades, we keep ending up gettin' a new job whenever we make a mess of everything.
• Pig Latin:
  Moe: Arrylay n-day I arey expert-says at-lay is-thay.^Translation Larry and I are experts at this.
  Larry: Eahyay, veney ouyay ancay derstandunyay ityay onyay ouryay ownay.^Translation Yeah, even you can understand it on your own.
• Plank Gag:
  Moe: I don't know why I ever let you muttonheads carry ladders or planks. It always ends with me gettin' hit in the face!
  Curly: I'm a victim of soicumstance! Am I supposed to have eyes in the back of my head?
• Pungeon Master:
  Curly: You never can tell when I say somethin' witty. But I don't have to explain it. Nyuk, nyuk... (Moe slaps him on the back of that head) Oh!
  Moe: Always clownin'.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here:
  Larry: You said it! We do it all the time for whenever we run from the law, a gang, a business, and further more...
  Moe: That's enough.
• Slapstick:
  Moe: Our specialty.
  Curly: We even got our own image on the main page!
• Stock Footage:
  Moe: We just happen to get into similar situations more than once, that's all.
  Larry: You mean like the two times we got drafted into the army with that same drill sergeant who hated us?
  Moe: And both times it was because of you knuckleheads. (he slaps Larry and Curly)
• Vitriolic Best Buds:
  Moe: Even though we're rough on each other, we're always stickin' together. As the saying goes: all for one...
  Larry: ...one for all...
  Curly: Every man for himself!
  (Moe and Larry glare at him)

---

Moe: Well, what are ya still doin' here? You read all there is on this page!
Larry: Come on, beat it! Stay here too long, you'll wind up waistin' your life!
Curly: Soitenly! Besides, there are plenty of other pages you can visit down there, too.

---