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Lets Play / DeceasedCrab

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"Hey, La-Mulanites!"

Samuel Kaplan, a.k.a DeceasedCrab is a personality in the Let's Play community, notable for playing a key role in spreading the LP phenomenon to YouTube.

He's developed a Signature Style: He's a Large Ham who employs copious catchphrases and Unusual Euphemisms, and he almost exclusively plays 8-bit games, Quirky Work, or indie Freeware Games. Or some combination of the three. (Or, a Choose Your Own Adventure Book.) As he himself puts it, "What's the point in me playing a game that everybody already knows?"

He has, on several occasions, teamed up with fellow LPer Madamluna on co-op LPs. To quote the eponymous second author...

On that fateful day in 1972, Deceased Crab was a small-time guitarist in the Bay Area hopping from band to band. Madamluna was a waitress in a small cafe off the side of the interstate. When their eyes met, they knew it was destiny.
They would later disappear in a tragic macadamia nut accident, never to be seen until thirty-five years later, when they suddenly resurfaced on Youtube with a series of Let's Play videos that are said to be "pretty good, I guess."

Now with optional second backstory!

DeceasedCrab was a lowly salesman, building lightweight laser weapons and doling them out to kindergarteners like a futuristic, crab-shaped Johnny Appleseed. I was the stodgy teacher who insisted on not having any laser weaponry in my classroom. But soon, with a song and a dance and a demonstration of technology that could vaporize a bear at three hundred yards, he scuttled his way into my heart.

Or...

In the future, DeceasedCrab was an inmate at the Black Moon State Penitentiary. He escaped with 14 other inmates, and fled to the only safe place; the past. Arriving at an integral part of American history, and having damaged his time machine, he reformed and devoted his life to making his country and history correct.

Or...

Actually, Madamluna is the world's leading expert on forensic psychology, and I am a shady used car salesman. I sold her a bad car, and she keeps having to get it repaired. I do this for tax purposes!

Or...

Madamluna is the Duchess of Kensington from the year 3026, at which point Kensington is no longer a duchy but the best waffle house on the planet. I am the biggest waffle addict in the timestream (there were others who liked waffles more than I did, I erased them from history).
Which reminds me, Madamluna: we need some more waffles!

    Games he's Let's Played: 

Provides examples of:

  • Angrish: This trope shows up a few times in the LP of La-Mulana's Hell Temple.
    Deceased Crab: A bridge...a bridge over the riv—
    (His character drops through an unseen trap in the bridge, back down to the Hell area)
    Deceased Crab: (spews furious gibberish through clenched teeth)
  • Animal Nemesis: Deceased Crab often talks about a seething hatred for whales, and cetaceans in general.
  • Berserk Button: Demands or internet abbreviations in comments.
    • He isn't too fond of people correcting his pronunciation of names, if Kitsune's fate is any indication.
    • In his LP of the La-Mulana remake, people bugging him about doing the Hell Temple (which he doesn't even refer to by name, only in vague terms like "that area I haven't gone to")
    • Quite a few in his Mega Maker playlist:
      • Putting an ammo limit on the mega buster.
      • "Cheap shots" where the level throws something at the player they aren't meant to have enough time to react to (such as dropping them into a pit of spikes)
      • Putting him in a maze.
    • Any Game-Breaking Bug is this for him. He's called off one LP (Hand of Fate) after his save was rendered incompatible by a patch with no means of recovering it, and paused another (La-Mulana 2) when a glitch after a boss fight left him unable to continue until it was patched. In both cases, DC has made it bluntly obvious that such issues will kill any good will he has towards developers and their games.
  • Big "NO!": When Shorn steals the treasure of La Mulana, coupled with some Angrish.
  • Blatant Lies: DC will occasionally drop foreshadowing by claiming that a character or plot point is unimportant and will never come up again. For example, after first meeting Curly Brace in Cave Story: "Yeah, we'll never see her again."
  • Buffy Speak: Among others, here:
    Get back here! Th! Nnnngh!! Stupid fiery spinny ball jerk!
  • Catchphrase:
  • Cluster F-Bomb:
    • Being DeceasedCrab, he gets his own, mild version of this.
    Crudnutshelldamncrap!
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: Redhook's Revenge ends with DC and Madamluna getting completely dominated by the AI-controlled Le Boucher with over 70,000 gold (while the closest the two can manage is 16,600.)
  • Curse of The Ancients: Along with Gosh Dang It to Heck!. How many Let's Players do you know that frustratedly shout "Fie!"?
  • Disproportionate Retribution: He once told a commenter on one of his videos to choke himself because he mentioned a show DC didn't like. And has comment banned people for spelling errors and for liking the Snake Eater Theme.
  • Evil Laugh: During his Let's Play of ActRaiser, the citizens of Kasandora claim that they can look after themselves. Then this happens.
  • Failed a Spot Check: In his playthrough of Steamworld Dig 2, he managed to completely miss the artifact for the Leaky Lodge cave even as he passed the shortcut there to get to it, to the displeasure of many commenters, and it took 5 videos before he actually got it. It ended up being the very last one that he got, too.
  • Flat "What": He gives off one after Palenque (remake) self-destructs in front of him.
    • Angrish: This follows soon after.
      "I'm DeceasedCrab. AAAAAAAARGH!!"
  • Genre Savvy: In the Guardian battle of Hero Core.
    What should I shoot now? The head, the feet or the floating core?
    The choice is obvious.
  • Goddamn Bats: "Cat-Ball!" "Surprise Fish!" "UMBRELLA!!!" invoked
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Somewhat unique among LPers for eschewing Cluster F Bombs in favor of family-friendly curses and Unusual Euphemisms.
    That just kicks butt. Heck yeah.
    • Because of his habit of avoiding swear words, his LP of Don't Shit Your Pants may seem a bit out-of-place.
    • DC has Lampshaded this from time to time.
      Deceased Crab: I was going to turn around and hurl insults at him, but somehow I don't think 'Bake Sale' would register with that guy.
  • Grammar Nazi: Don't use common internet expressions (like "lol", "u" instead of "you", "r" instead of "are") or bad grammar when you comment on one of his videos. If you're lucky, he will hide the comment. If you're less lucky, he will block and mock you.
  • Head Desk: A frequent response to nonsense in a game's plot.
  • Heroic BSoD: Doesn't even begin to describe his reaction to the "reward" for completing Hell Temple in La-Mulana.
    "I knew it was a Skimpy Swimsuit. I had no idea we were going to be seen wearing it. The response was genuine." (- As heard on Moonhawk Studios Presents June 30, 2010.)
    • Also late into his Maze Of Galious Let's Play.
    • And a minor one also in his first La-Mulana LP, his reaction to Getting the Flare Gun before getting the gloves resulted in the following video being "La-Mulana", with "Lemeza" beating up on "Deceased Crab"
  • Heroic Comedic Sociopath: Constantly, though subverted for his Eversion LP. He's had no problem being a mass murderer in ActRaiser or driving Iji to complete sociopathy.
  • Hypocrite: Wellknown as a Grammar Nazi, yet when someone tries to correct him, he has the above mentioned Creator Breakdown.
  • Hope Spot: In his Hand of Fate Let's Play, it looks like he would've won in his 32nd video, even reaching the final boss and almost about to defeat him, but ended up dying in the very end as now evidenced with more videos. Hopefully, his 34th video will end in his victory. It doesn't.
  • Hypocritical Humor: One episode of the Abobo's Big Adventure LP admonishes the viewers not to be gross and ask why he didn't pick "that one option in that one room" in the previous episode, although the option he did choose is arguably grosser.
  • Intoxication Ensues: Four LPs were recorded while he was loopy from painkillers after dental surgery: Owl Country, Barbie and The Magic of Pegasus, Minotaur China Shop, and Hexagon.
    • He was also borderline-drunk during some late videos of La-Mulana, apparently the result of a breakup.
  • Inventory Management Puzzle: One of his biggest complaints about Sweet Home (1989), to the point of becoming a Running Gag.
  • It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time: After making Madamluna play Shadowgate, they made him choose between playing Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (NES) or Deadly Towers. He chooses the latter.
    DeceasedCrab: I make bad decisions.
  • Jekyll & Hyde: Deceased Crab's evil split personality, Deceased Cuttlefish, takes over to play Mountain Maniac and Mountain Maniac Xmas Edition.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: While he is egotistical and self-centered, and is known to react poorly for petty reasons, he truly enjoys Let's Playing for his audience and rarely uses profanity and inappropriate humor. And he's also a cat lover. Sadly, his bad deeds outnumber his good deeds, so we might even say he's a Jerk with a Heart of Bronze.
  • Keet: Anyone else suddenly think of Peewee Herman on a crack high when Deceased Crab starts talking?
    • Oddly enough, he started his ActRaiser LP in a more normal, quieter voice and was barraged with people thinking he was depressed.
  • Killed Mid-Sentence: In this video:
    DeceasedCrab: Sweet! Eternity is mi- *is crushed by the ceiling*
  • Kindhearted Cat Lover: As abrasive as DC gets, he genuinely cares for his cats. He occasionally yells at them "Silence, Kitty!" but to be fair, it's hard to discipline a misbehaving cat any other way.
  • Lame Pun Reaction: Tends to treat every pun as bad. Given his reaction, you'd think Merry Gear Solid 2 was killing him.
  • Laughing Mad: During the LP of La-Mulana's Hell Temple.
  • Leave the Camera Running: When drying the treasure map in Takeshi's Castle (which requires 5 minutes in real time of doing nothing,) DC just starts rambling the whole time (mostly about Takeshi Kitano.)
  • Load-Bearing Boss: Discussed in the last part of his Ufouria LP.
  • Lost Episode: His beta test of VVVVVV was seemingly recorded just for Terry Cavanagh (the game's creator) to watch, but he has since decided to upload it to Youtube. He even calls it "The Lost LP". To take the trope even further, he literally lost the LP, but luckily Terry still had the videos and sent them to him.
  • MST: Done by Retsupurae. Sort of. They added their pre-recorded audio track to a random video to prove their point that what can be said about one of his videos, can be said about all of them.
  • Madness Mantra:
  • Miles Gloriosus: Played for Laughs as part of the role he plays in his LPs.
  • Multiple-Choice Past: Usually recounted by MadamLuna. The snippet above is but one of many.
  • Never Split the Party: In his LP of Sweet Home (1989), he attempts to keep the Five-Man Band as close together as possible, using the 'Call' feature to ensure everybody participates in most of the battles and gets experience. Considering that monsters seem particularly prone to attacking whenever there's a decent amount of distance between the groups...
  • Noodle Incident: How getting the Flare Gun in La-Mulana resulted in a Heroic BSoD for him was this until the missing video in this happened was uploaded. (He expected another item, probably the chain whip.)
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: He has played (most of) the games he's LPed before, but he acts like he hasn't to show the viewers everything. Madamluna calls him out on this during the La-Mulana remake when he dies to Palenque's Taking You with Me, pointing out he knew it was coming because he was one of the beta-testers.
    • "We have to go this way. Not for any particular reason, mind you. I'm a little lost. ...or am I?"
  • Perspective Flip: "Balrog Story," Cave Story narrated from the perspective of the Quirky Miniboss Squad.
  • Precision F-Strike:
    • One in La-Mulana's Hell Temple. He promptly chastised himself for it.
    • One way at the beginning of La-Mulana, the first time he gets zapped by an unexpected Bolt of Divine Retribution. Another, somewhat later, upon being told the Four Sages are responsible for all the traps in the ruins: "Next I see them, I'm gonna fuckin' mace them up— *awkward silence* ...I'm going to freaking hit them with my mace."
    • Also in his "Castlevania Birds" song.
  • Rage Quit:
    • Hand of Fate. It had already given him enough trouble between technical issues, the sheer difficulty curve, and an insult directed at fat people made by the Dealer; losing his suspend-save of a run that was right before the final boss - and a fairly decent run at that - because of a patch was the last straw.
    • Happens a second time in La-Mulana 2, where he accidentally traps himself in the Underworld, effectively softlocking his save file. He claims that he won't pick the Let's Play back up until the devs patch the unwinnable scenario out.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Real men recover from wisdom tooth removal by playing Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus.
  • Running Gag:
    • It is the nineties...
    • Papers, Please has DC repeatedly exploding like wild tiger.
    • Axiom Verge and La-Mulana 2 have one in the thumbnails. Each of the first few videos had a thumbnail of appearance-wise similar places (the save rooms for the former, the NPC dialogue screens for the latter). Later videos use very clearly faked thumbnails of those locations if none of them present themselves in the video.
      • Taken to its logical conclusion in Episode 17 of his La-Mulana 2 LP, which features a thumbnail of an NPC dialogue screen with an Axiom Verge save room screen superimposed over Mulbruk's face.
  • Sanity Slippage: If you want to see him pretend to lose his mind, watch his Eversion LP. If you want to see him really lose his mind, watch his blind run of La-Mulana's Hell Temple.
  • Screaming at Squick: Deceased Crab's reaction to seeing Professor Lemeza wearing the Skimpy Swimsuit.
  • Shout-Out: In Part 9 of Civilization, he references, of all possible things, killer7. Twice, quoting the Russian Roulette scene and the opening to Cloudman.
  • Soundtrack Dissonance:
    • In the aforementioned Barbie LP, he replaced the soundtrack with songs by Manowar and Maximum the Hormone. When he played I Was in the War and Don't Look Back, he switched the soundtracks of the two games.
    • During his La-Mulana Randomizer runthrough, he also shuffled the game's soundtrack with every song on his computer. While it also leads to this, there are a few incredibly lucky moments where a track is replaced by its appropriate counterpart from La-Mulana 2, e.g., the Inferno Cavern's music being replaced by "Muspell and Niflheim"— which leads to one of the few times where DC is left speechless laughing.
  • Stealth Parody: For Don't Look Back and I Was in the War, he doesn't mention that he switched the soundtracks at any point, and comments on the games as if they still had their original soundtracks. For Harpooned! he pretends to take the game completely at face value and insists that it doesn't have any message.
  • Take That!: In this video:
    Samantha Harty: They're an insane masochist cult who think pain is the answer to everything.
    DeceasedCrab: They sound like the IRS.
  • This Ain't Rocket Surgery: Wall jumps.
  • This Is Gonna Suck: Stink.
  • The Unfavorite: From Cocoron, Nibble. Ironically enough, DC chose to build/use Nibble because he needed a Stone Wall. Or so he thought...
  • Tranquil Fury: He reacts to unfavorable events either with this, an Angrish outburst or crazed laughter.
  • Victory Pose: After finally defeating the Eliminator in Hero Core, DC poses so violently that he hurts his neck.
  • What Could Possibly Go Wrong?: "Don't answer that."
  • Where's the Fun in That?: Often uttered by him.
  • With Lyrics: He does this a lot. One example is his "Castlevania Birds" song, ranting about the Goddamned Bats (or birds) of Castlevania to the tune of the game's theme tune "Bloody Tears".
  • Why Don't You Marry It?: Says this in the comments of his Ys III LP in response to all the people telling him how good the remake is.
  • You Monster!: Utters this many times during his beta test of VVVVVV, especially while trying to collect the hardest trinkets such as "Doing Things the Hard Way" and "Prize for the Reckless".

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