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Funny / Pokémon Friendlocke

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Per wiki policy, Spoilers Off applies here and all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned.

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Season 1:

    Stream 1 

    Stream 2 
  • This stream marks the first appearance of Kenny the Sableye, and thus the point where things start to get weird.
  • Salty reads up on Sableye:
    Salty: Sableye is a bipedal Pokémon with a dark purple body... that LOVES lasagna!
  • Kenny makes his grand debut by "identifying" and leering at Gerber, making the latter very uncomfortable.
  • Salty and friends lampshade the fact that, immediately after meeting the protagonist, Steven Stone tells them that they'll be a great Pokémon Trainer and registers himself on their Pokénav.
    Joe: "You seem like a swell guy. You wanna be the godfather to my kids?"
  • Kenny finally gets added to the team, and has his Establishing Character Moment:
    Kenny: Say My Name.
    Salty: ...Kenny?
    Kenny: You're god damn right.
    Sara: Kenny, what is this voice?
    Kenny: Your Mom. Anyway...
  • "Yo, is this the line for the circumcisions?"
  • Kenny makes a very... odd noise out of basically nowhere. In the middle of a very kind donation, as well.
    Salty: It was such a kind donation, and Kenny just... I dunno, gave birth? What was that??
  • A donator asks if Salty and friends think there exists someone with a Pastey tulpa, which makes Pastey very upset.
  • As Tracey evolves:
    Tracey: This is me when I get on estrogen.
  • Pastey tells Salty that he still has a chance to get onto the Dream SMP. All he has to do is start hacking his game.
  • Collin gets added as the notoriously weak Illumise, much to Salty's amusement (and Collin's chagrin).
    Salty: Is [your name spelled] with two L's, or one L?
    Kenny: He's gonna need more than two L's for this one.
  • After absolutely decimating Wally, Salty is approached by Scott, who seems a little too happy about Wally's dreams being destroyed.
    Scott: I idolize trainers like that! Absolute fucking scumbags!

    Stream 3 
  • Salty points out that he raised Tracey to Level 21:
    Tracey: That's just like the funny joke! You guys ever heard of it? So, there's this kid...
    ONE "FUNNY" JOKE LATER...
    Tracey: ...and then he says, "twenty-one!"
    Salty: Yeah... that-that's... that's really... that's really funny. That's really funny, Pastey. That's so funny, Pastey.
    Salty proceeds to drop Pastey into the "Cis Box" in his PC
  • After receiving the Rock Smash HM, Salty offers it to Gerber, who responds with a Blunt "No".
    • Afterwards, he tries to see if Collin can learn it. After discovering that he can't, he angrily shoves Collin back into the PC.
  • When Mal uses Rock Smash on a Geodude, but doesn't kill it one hit:
    Salty: Let me tell you something, Murray, okay? We live in a society. You wanna know why? Because I use Rock Smash [and] the rock does not smash. I blow a bubble and the rock disintegrates.
  • Mikey joins the team, and almost immediately makes his intentions known by getting giddy after learning that Magnitude can hit teammates as well.
  • Red joins in as a Spinda, but asks Salty to kick them out of the call so they can prepare a funny bit. They return immediately after with a Voice of the Legion.
    Red: HELLO, I AM A FUNNY LITTLE BEAR.
  • Mikey learns Selfdestruct, which immediately makes everyone on the rest of the team worry; especially Mal, since Mikey wants her to be alongside him for Double Battles.
    Mikey: I'm like a time bomb, baby. You don't know when I'll use it.
  • Salty listens to Professor Cozmo's woes: Apparently, Team Magma forced him to lead them to Meteor Falls, and stole his Meteorite. And then he lost his shoes. And then Team Aqua appeared and circumcised him, even though he already was. They did so by reattaching it and then taking it off again.
  • "HAHAHAHAH! NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO MY POKÉMON!!"
  • While fighting the fire-type gym with the water-type Tracey:
    Tracey: I feel like I don't even need to say what attack to do here.
    Salty: You're right! Tackle!
  • Flannery's Camerupt uses Attract on Tracey, causing Salty to switch her out with Mal. Camerupt then uses Attract on her as well, causing Salty to freak out about their polyamorous relationship.
    • After it's finally taken out, Tracey is notably distressed.
    Tracey: No! You killed our wife!
    Salty: You'll get over it!
    • Then they run into trouble with Flannery's Torkoal, which also knows Attract, forming another polyamorous relationship!
    Tracey: Maybe I can love again...
  • Claire returns to the party after Tracey's death, and Joe tells her that Mikey killed Tracey.
  • While mourning Tracey's death, Salty decides to catch one more Pokémon, which turns out to be Chrissy, but...
    Chrissy: Y'all look like you just saw someone die.

    Stream 4 
  • Despite Chrissy's transformation into a Cool Old Lady after her evolution, she starts showing off her sadistic side pretty early:
    Mikey: I put rocks in my snowballs during winter! Rock Throw!
    Chrissy: It's better than what I do. I put razors in people's Halloween candy!
  • In the middle of Norman's gym, Gerber gets an automated message from "Big Mommy Rental Service" telling him that they won't be able to fulfill his "mommy pegging" order on time, all while Gerber begs Salty to cut the audio. Which is immediately followed by a donation saying that Gerber was "assigned bottom at birth".
  • Just when it seems like Norman is beaten...
    Gerber: Wait, where did [Slaking] get that match from?? Why's he playing with it??
    Mikey: Oh, no! It's using its second item, Sniper Rifle!! Nooo!
    • Salty takes Norman's surprise at being beaten by his own son as calling him weak. Taken even further in the highlights:
    Norman: I can't believe it. Derek... I lost to Derek? My stinky, good for nothing son Derek? That Rat Bastard Derek?
  • Pastey stops Derek from evolving him because he "doesn't feel like it," making Salty concerned. Further lampshaded in the highlight video, where the nameplate of the Abandoned Ship becomes "I HOPE NOTHING BAD HAPPENS".
  • Mikey, now as a Graveler, asks an enemy Electrike to "give him some skin" (since his back sprite looks like he's raising his hand up for a high-five), despite the fact that he's a Rock Monster that doesn't have skin. It turns out he was talking literally.
    Mikey: I want to be human. (To the Electrike's trainer) Come here, child, you lost. Money's not enough now.
  • After his refusal to evolve, Pastey dies not even 15 minutes later. And Salty is pissed.
    Salty: This wouldn't have happened if he just evolved! He would've had a higher stat total! God fucking dammit!!
    Chrissy: I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.
    Salty: I'M mad!!
    • Soon afterwards, he brings in Monsters to replace him, who has a few words to say about his good friend "Pastis".
  • Monsters finally gets his first taste of battle, the entire cast Corpsing the entire time:
    Monsters: Magic Co-At.
    Gerber: A non-damaging move??
    Monsters: Very nice.
  • In Monsters' country, bike tricks are known as BDSM, which stands for "Bikes Do So Much".
    • Really, anything Monsters says or does in this stream qualifies.

    Stream 5 

    Stream 6 
  • Salty brings Collin back into the team, insisting that he's part of his "Gym Strategy".
  • Salty tries to use the Thunder Stone on Mikey, which normally wouldn't do anything. However, the game was modded to make it evolve Graveler into "Graveler 2," which looks the same as a normal Graveler, but with extra muscles, a pair of Kamina glasses, and visible nipples.
    Pokédex Entry: This dude just wants to blow up? What the hell is wrong with him?
  • Red and their Voice of the Legion return, and they're almost immediately killed off.
  • Salty giving his team a pep talk before battle:
    Sara: If I help win this, can I get an apple juice after this?
    Salty: Yes you can, Sara.
    Sara: Ok.
    Collin: And if I help win this?
    Salty: You can die.
  • Forrest asks Salty to pull out a Luigi board so that Pastey can give them his Netflix password. note 
  • Archie: What?! I lost to a mere child like you?! And now I have to strip down buck naked?!
    • For bonus points, Archie's sprite is edited to be naked in the highlights video
  • After Kyogre and Groudon are released, Salty emphasizes the way Steven claims the two are "smashing each other with their uncontrollable energy".
    • Afterwards, Salty tries to get them to stop fighting by talking it out with them.
  • After beating Juan, Salty invokes the reincarnation clause and brings back Gerber, who comes back as an Oddish with only one attacking move. Salty believes that he'll just end up being another Collin.
    • To twist the knife even further, the chat suggest that Salty give him an Everstone to stop him from evolving.
  • "Oh, don't worry, Gerber, we don't do vore here."

    Stream 7 
  • Jae chooses not to evolve, and dies almost immediately afterwards. Salty is angry that she went out exactly the same way as Pastey did.
  • Monsters' Accent Upon The Wrong Syllable falls into the extreme when he pronounces "Bounce" as "Bo-unk-eh".
  • It's revealed that Chrissy used to belong to John Lennon, and her first "experience" with another Pokémon was with Ringo Starr's Jirachi, who was great at "pounding". Salty only has this to add:
    Salty: I guess Jirachi really made your wish come true.
  • Before going through Victory Road, Salty splits the remaining Pokémon into two different teams, with three extras left over. Jae and Chrissy both die inside Victory Road, making Collin the only one not on a team.
  • Salty decides to take Collin alone into the Elite Four for "recon", even giving him access to all of his TMs. Collin finally gets back at Salty by picking moves that stall the battle as long as possible.
    Collin: If you're gonna do this to me, I'm gonna drag this out as long as I can.
    • During the "recon", Salty calls up "Shigeru Miyamoto" to ask if he should use healing items on Collin.
    Salty: Hey, Shigeru, it's Derek. Can I use any healing items on Collin-
    "Shigeru Miyamoto": (Cutting him off) NOOO!!!
    Salty: All right, so that's a "no."
  • To ensure that his best Pokémon aren't killed off, Salty goes in with the "B-Team". They manage to make it through, only losing Forrest due to a Heroic Sacrifice. When they finally get to Wallace, he ends up being a complete joke, being completely steamrolled by Gerber.
    Oni: We went in with the "cannon fodder" team and won.
  • To close out the stream, Salty goes and fights Rayquaza... who ends up being a reincarnated Chatform.

Season 2:

    Stream 1 

    Stream 2 
  • From this stream onward, Salty's player character has been modded to resemble his Author Avatar. His party comments that he looks even whiter than usual.
  • After beating N the second time, Pastey suggests he change his name to "L".
  • Sara gets caught as a Skuntank, leading to exactly the kind of jokes you'd expect.
  • Salty comes up with a theory that you need orange hair if you want to join Team Plasma.
  • Instead of helping Burgh infiltrate Team Plasma's base in Castelia City, Salty leaves to get some ice cream.
    • Later, Burgh donates to the stream to ask if he's coming back.
  • Sauerkraut makes their debut in this episode.
    Sauerkraut: I was just enjoying some delicious sauerkraut... It's got a bunch of sand in it, but it's okay... (Gets caught) Oww, that hurt... But it's okay... I dropped my sauerkraut though...
  • Lark... erm, THE LARK is encountered as a Whimsicott. He claims he can see the future and sees a dire future in store for Churmy.
  • Salty encounters a Darumaka who claims he was born without a name. After catching him, Sara suggests Salty name him "Kenny" (after his actor). Salty decides to name him "Kringo the Fucklord" instead.
    • However, he runs out of room and shortens it to "Kringo Fuk".
  • Hannah manages to outdo Jay in terms of uselessness, since Delibird can only learn one move from leveling up and a handful of TMs.

    Stream 3 
  • The news bulletin announces that a new issue of "Big Tibby Pokémon Waifus" has released.
  • At the beginning of the stream, Pastey drinks a "Margaret Rita" and fully embraces his persona as a so-called "fucked up and evil wizard".
  • Someone donates $50 to call Claire a "sussy piss goblin".
    Salty: Okay, guys, $50 means that it's canon that Claire is a sussy piss goblin.
    Claire: I'm going to Spark.
    Salty: Yeah, I bet you will, you little piss goblin.
    • The worst part is that this comes in right before she dies.
  • Immediately after the battle where Claire dies, Salty immediately forgets what happened, picks up a couple of items off the ground, and says that it's the best day ever.
  • According to Gabi, "GAY" stands for "Good Ass? Yes!"
  • Tracey the traveling jester joins the party, complete with squeaky cloud.
    • Afterwards:
    Tracey: I can tell that there's a bit of hesitance here. It's as if y'all just watched somebody die!
    Salty: CAN WE NOT?! To the box with you!!
  • Salty enters the Pokémon Musical Theater and receives the Prop Case.
    Salty: It's like a cute little bento box!
    Kringo Fuk: Who's Ben?
    Salty: (Laughing) "Ben"-d over and take this DICK!
    • Gabi is entered into the Pokémon Musical. However, he's still in his Overcast Form, so Salty awkwardly places props onto him, unsure of where his face is.
    • Gabi's musical performance itself is something to behold.
  • Monsters joins the stream, with a very... unusual name:
    Pete: Name's Pete. "Pete" as in, uh, y'know- "Pete pays way too much alimony". My last name is "Ness," like the- Like the scary monster. So I'll let you figure out the rest.
    Salty: Your full name is "Pete Ness"?!
    Pete: Well, it's "Peter Ness," but I go by "Pete".
  • Sauerkraut: When life gives you lemons, ask why it took your mother away...
  • After Mikey is caught, he tells Salty his name is "Mikey," but then remembers he wanted to say "Deez" instead. He ends up being named Mikeydeez*.
    Sauerkraut: Mikey deez what?
    Mikey: Ligma balls.
  • Gerber is revealed to be an online influencer, which irks Salty to no end.
  • Salty mentions how well the stream is going, only for Sauerkraut to remind everyone about something:
    Sauerkraut: You mean when our good friend died?
    Salty: Yeah, that.
    Sara: Can we not talk about that, please?
    Sauerkraut: And we'll never see them again?
    Sara: (Tearing up) Sauerkraut, can you please stop?
    Sauerkraut: And we'll never get to tell them how we really feel about them and what they meant to us?
    (Sara starts bawling)
  • All the trainers in Clay's gym know Gabi, and all of them claim that he owes them money, each more than the last.
  • As the team faces off against Clay's Excadrill, he says "We may have made a mistake."

    Stream 4 
  • Someone suggests that Salty take more than four Pokémon to the rematch with Clay. Salty then weighs his options, and shows that every single other one of his remaining Pokémon is weak to Ground type. Except for Jay, who just has horrible stats.
  • After the Total Party Kill in the previous episode, there's something hilarious and satisfying about how Salty manages to absolutely steamrolls Clay's team.
    Mikey: WHOOO!! MIKEY DEEZ, BABY!! I'm sorry, is this American Idol? 'Cuz all I see is Clay ACHIN'!!
    • Afterwards, Salty tries to get Clay cancelled on Twitter with the hashtag "#ClayIsOverParty". Even better, it got trending alongside "#MikeyDeezBaby", which even got a description on the trending tab!
  • Clay gives Salty the TM for Bulldoze, which is the same move he used to kill most of Salty's party.
  • Salty uses Exact Words when he captures Jae:
    Salty: What is your name, friend?
    Jae: Oh, I have no idea— I have no idea.
    Salty: All right, "No idea!" Welcome to the party!
  • Despite being streamed on YouTube, Salty notices that people are subscribing to him on Twitch. Salty tells them to knock it off. Cue dozens of people subscribing to Salty's Twitch and starting a hype train WHILE HE WASN'T EVEN STREAMING.
  • Salty takes a bathroom break in the middle of a battle. When he gets back, he starts opening a tin of Pokémon cards, much to the confusion of his party.
    • Someone donates $50 to get Salty to bend one of the packs in half, which he does. It had an Ultra Rare card in it. note 
  • Salty catches a Palpitoad and asks for its name, and it replies with "Collin". Salty names him "Callin".
  • Mikey asks Jay if they've thought about evolving, to which they respond that they're considering. Salty, who is tired of waiting, threatens to throw out the Moon Stone he has if Jay doesn't decide.
  • What's the first Pokémon that Salty runs into in Dragonspiral Tower? Illumise. Salty is not amused.

    Stream 5 

    Stream 6 

    Stream 7 

    Stream 8 

    Stream 9 

Scarlet and Violet Friendlocke:

    Stream 1 

    Stream 3 

    Stream 4 
  • After defeating Kofu's Gym (which almost resulted in a couple of deaths), the game crashes due to Gen 9's notoriously buggy and unfinished state. This causes the team to have to face Kofu in battle again. Cue Salty, his friends, and chat all joking that Kofu unleashed his Stand, Killer Queen: Bites the Dust for another chance at victory. Some people in chat also joked that Kofu had other Stands like Epitaph or Made in Heaven.

    Stream 6 
  • Jay and Gerber's so-called cooking when facing off against Ryme, which consisted of them attacking each other on the first turn. While no one was exactly sad when Jay died, the fallout of that fight somehow came just shy of a full-blown team wipe, with only Gerber and Sara having survived. Everyone, in-universe, out of universe and viewers alike were left dumbfounded by the end.
    Derek: (Angrish) What was the purpose of this!? All of our fucking team is dead!! [...] You can see- YOU CAN SEE ON MY FACE IN THIS PICTURE! My soul- My soul has left my body!
    Vriska: What... the fuck... was that? W-why did no one try to Terastellize that entire time?
    Ryme: That would've been really bad if you actually fought me properly, but thank GOD that your Pokemon started attacking each other for no reason!
    Hassel: That lizard and the tumbleweed are so fucking stupid! For real! I'm serious! DON'T LET THEM COOK! SERIOUSLY!
    Pokemon Challeges: (In response to Gerber calling him out on the fight) You killed your teammate! What are you talking about? You thought I would take your side on this!?

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