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Funny / JonTron Season One

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Funny moments from Season 1 of JonTron. For the main index, see here.

Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4 | Season 5

Main Reviews

    open/close all folders 
    Joe and Mac Retrospective 
  • His reasoning behind the oddly-pronounced, severely bitcrushed Title Drop of "Data East" at the vanity plate:
    Jon: (off-screen) Alright, the line is "Data East," action.
    Jerry: (with two bottles of Rolling Rock and a can of Tecate in front of him) Datayis.
  • When Jacques asks if he can play with him, Jon points out that he can't.
    Jon: Oh, Jacques. You can't play, you don't have hands! (Cue rimshot that repeats until it turns into a drum solo.)

    Final Hallway XIII and XIII- 2 
Final Hallway XIII
  • Jon holds up the game's case, which is clearly FFX's case with a JPG over it. And then Jon throws the "game disc" into his "PS3." Not only is it even more obviously fake, but it's the second disc for the 360 version.
  • Special mention goes to Jon and the Crew's screams as they discover that the game is playing itself.
    Michael: The game's playing itself, Jon... THE GAME'S PLAYING ITSELF, JON! THE GAME'S JUST PLAYING ITSELF, JON!!!
  • While Jon is screaming his head off, Jacques is casually perched on his shoulder and nibbling his ear.
  • God has come to Reap the Sinners.

Final Hallway XIII-2

  • And its sequel is glorious, with the most beautiful Take That! to Square Enix imaginable.
    Jon: To unlock the ending of this JonTron, go to youtube.com/DLC and give us all your money! Did you like this game? Or that one? How about these? Wuzzat? Wh-Wuzzat? You ju- you just want a game that doesn't have six meterosexual Jonas brothers in it? Well FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU! This is what you get, fuck you! Square Enix: Because fuck you guys!
  • Jon's casual mention of what happened to Michael.
    Jon: You know, the last time somebody played this, Michael died. He-he died, Jirard. I don't really see why you would take this risk. That's fine. I'm gonna go get a soda and a bodybag, you have fun.
  • Future Jon describing Square Enix as "a bunch of people from the 90s with money from the 90s that..they don't know what to do with anymore. 's...'s 90s money."
  • This exchange:
    Jirard: D'you guys think if we play Chrono Trigger, it'll help reverse the spell?
    (background music stops)
    Future Jon: You ffffffFUCKING IDIOT!
    Future Future Jon: Piece of SHEEYIT! SHIT!
    Future Jon: What is this, Twilight?
    Future Future Jon: DEEYUMIT! SHIT, DEEYUMIT!
    Future Jon: This...this is the reason we're in trouble in the first place. Y'understand what I'm saying?
    • And, of course, Present!Jon coming back only to see Jirard, Future!Jon, Future-Future!Jon, and FutureFutureFuture!Jon in the living room with no explanation.
    Jon: Is there something you're not telling me, Jirard?

    Gaming in Public Episode 1 
  • From Gaming In Public Episode 1:
    Claudio: Oi gente tudo bem?
    Caption: Oye gents you're all from Maine!

    Stairfax Temperatures 

    Sonic R 
  • In his Sonic R review, Jon demonstrated how goofy the soundtrack was by playing the cheerfully upbeat "Can You Feel The Sunshine?" over a scene in God of War where somebody gets eaten by a Hydra.
  • Jon hypothesising about how Sonic Team came up with the idea for Sonic R.
    Jon: HOLY SALAMANDER CUTTLEFISH! What was going ON over there at Sonic Team headquarters when this MISTAKE happened?!
    (cut to a short live-action skit)
    Jon: (pretending to be a stoned Sonic Team member after snorting a line of cocaine, with a Fake Brit accent) *slams a mirror on the table and takes a big sniff* OOOOOOOOOOO—
    (Smash Cut to Jon in his kitchen)
    Jon: Welcome to Sonic Team! We make games, I think!note 
    Manager: ...What the FUCK is a "Sonic"!?
  • When he gets NO Chaos Emeralds after a race, after clearly obtaining one during the race...
    Jon: Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. (breathes atomic fire as he screams)

    Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis 

    Home Improvement 
  • "Ah, my favorite publisher: Absolutely Copied Sierra's Logo!"
  • Followed there-up by his reaction to the game's very melodic opening music.
  • "How about a series of levels where Tim Allen explores the true depth of his love for his family and wife?"
  • His reaction to a Home Improvement game being set in the Stone Age.
    I can't even believe - OH!! Where's the Pillsbury Doughboy award... pullsb.. what's the.. Paul Newbery.. the one... THE ONE WHEN WE WERE KIDS!!
  • At one point, Jon mentions that he's been reviewing a lot of stuff with dinosaurs lately, and didn't notice until his viewers pointed it out. He started reviewing the Home Improvement game because he wanted to see what to expect from a Home Improvement game. He ended up getting yet another game with dinosaurs.
  • This bit.
    Jon: Well, now that we've gotten past this, let's have it lead us to the exit.
    (Tim falls down a hole and gets a game over)
    Jon: *angry stuttering*
  • "What did I see?! What am I seeing here, no what am I NO, is this—!? Is this—am I, right now at this moment, as Tim Allen...from Home Improvement...using a lightsaber chainsaw to fight a raptor?"

    "''MMMMMMMMMM!...SHIET."

     2010 Halloween Special 
  • Part one of his 2010 Halloween Special.
    Jon: [With an ominous tone] Welcome to part one of the JonTron Halloween Special.
    [He goes cross-eyed] THE TOP TEN MARIO KART TRACKS!
    [He flips two bowls of chips onto the floor.]

    Monster Party 
  • The bizarre sprite of Mark staring at the sky doesn't look much like crying.
    Jon: While he stared at it, his retinas melted.
  • The face Jon makes when actual gameplay is shown for the first time.
    Jon: I tell ya what there sure is some sort of a party goin on over here. Just not sure it's the kind I want to be invited to.
    • The above quote is then followed by a gigantic LOL when the protagonist faceplants next to the upside-down leg enemies.
  • And then there's the start of the actual review:
    Jon: You got all your normal kinds of monster madness going on here in the background: killer plants, spiders, minotaurs, temp— t- ohhh... tempura... shrimp? Oh... This is gonna be one of those days, isn't it.
  • "Who wants a piece of my dick bat?!?"
  • *shooting at the leg enemies* "Time for your Preparation H, sir!"
  • Special mention to reactions to some of the strange enemies in the game.
    Jon: I'm ready for anything.
    [Dramatic closeup of a mashup mook that looked like a dog with the head of a bald man]
    Jon: WAIT, I LIED! I was NOT- I was NOT ready for anything! Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope SO MUCH NOPE. [Accompanied by splatters of that string of "Nopes" that fill the screen]
  • His reactions to the "boss" that's already dead and the pumpkin boss that did not want Jon to hurt him.
    Jon: (reading) Sorry I'm dead. (normal) Okay, y'know, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to disturb you. *Beat* ...Wait, what? REAALLY? Really? I just...yeah great, grab the freaking question mark and keep moving. It's like war time no time to question this shit.
    Jon: (reading) Please don't pick on me. (normal) Yeah well no. I wasn't planning on it-Holy shit! *Boss attacks, and Jon throws the controller through the air* A-are you being serious with me right now? This guy's gonna go around opening with lines like "please don't pick on me" and then immediately jump all over you like Bruce Willis in the midst of a bathroom emergency?
    • Hilariously enough he brings up the pumpkin boss again with regards to the dancing zombies
      Jon: Captain Pumpkin Head says "please don't pick on me" then immediately sucker punches the shit out of you, but no, dancing zombies mean business when they say things.
  • His reaction to the tempura boss:
    Jon: When did this game go from a game called "Monster Party" to a game where I fight SHRIMP and ONION RINGS?! WHY?! And what th... why is there a space station IN THE BACKGRO-OU-OU-OU-UND?!!! (voice echoes)
  • Jon's internal struggles after fighting the tempura boss:
    [Jon tossing around in his bed with a transparent overlay of the onion ring splashed onto the screen]
    Jon: What's going on? Am I... Am I dead? Did I die because I saw a... Goddamn eight-bit onion ring?
  • After trying his best to tolerate the difficulty of this game, finally Rage Quitting when he dies to the final boss, causing him to pull up a video on YouTube where the boss was beaten and claiming he did that.
    Jon: I did that. It was me. Can't say I'm not good at completing things.
    Jacques: Jon, you couldn't finish a cheese danish.
    Jon: Hey Jacques, I keep you naked on purpose.
    (Jacques then zaps Jon with a laser from his eye.)
    Jon: ACKGH!! SHIET!!
  • "Then they fused together." WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
  • "Oh, cool, I took some drugs and became a dragon. [Beat] OK, COOL, WHA'EVER, I'M JUST ROLLIN' WITH IT."
  • And then there's also his reaction to the upright walking pants.
    Jon: Wait wh—is—Issa—Issat pants? Is that motherfucking starched pants walking around like J. Edgar Hoover on a Tuesday afternoon? No no I-I changed my mind. I can't! I can't! This game is going to be the end of me! *cue Paradise By the Dashboard Light*
  • His reaction to the empty room while trying to find the key.
    Jon: Well, I can tell you one thing. It's certainly not here. GOOD. No no good no. I'm glad. I'm glad they put it in the game. NO. I'm-I'm glad. No! I mean it's not like — *cuts to the next scene*
  • Start of Round 2
    Jon: (said quickly) Fish face on legs! Yup! Yup! YUUUUUUUUUP! Oh, whoa. I — I think I lost my train of thought there for a second.

    Charlie's Angels 
  • The intro to the Charlie's Angels review. It's obvious he had to rerecord the audio, as what is being said in the audio doesn't match with what's being said in the video.
    Jon: (slurred) I don't even know what's going on right now, ya guys, there's some sort of thing in my hands. I don't give a SHIT about this. Fwuh's trophy.
  • "Now all we need is a game to review." Cue the game falling out of the sky from nowhere.
  • "Let's get the party goin' on in this party wagon!" [Beer awkwardly squirts from a can]
  • His reaction to the Angels' idle animations is beyond priceless.
    Jon: Dance, Lucy, dance! Your career depends on it!
  • "Oh my God, is that a piana?"
  • Jon commenting on the bizarreness of the characters' running animations, noting that they wouldn't seem out of place in Spongebob Squarepants:
    Jon: (giggles) Just look at...just look at how strange the walk cycle is. They look like they belong more in a SpongeBob cartoon.
    (A clip of one of the walk cycles from the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Sponge Who Could Fly" appears on the screen; it is then displayed side-to-side with the game's walking animation for comparison.)
  • His befuddlement at the game using a real-life song ("Get Free" by The Vines) as the main menu music.
    Jon: Better cut away from this quick before Viacom comes and slaps me up the butt with a cease-and-desist!

    The Lost World: Jurassic Park 

    Apples and Grapes 

    Malkovich 
Malkovich's Gaming Guilty Pleasures
  • "Fax machine, boss is mad◊."
  • Malkovich asking PBG, or his character named Yonik offscreen if the milk he just sipped is expired...before taking another sip.
  • Malkovich's pronouncing "computer" as "compreter", as well as him representing the Internet with a lewd pixelated photo.
  • As a counteract to being arrested for rape, Malkovich states that new technology can allow you to vent your emotions "without doing time in the clank." (wink accompanied by eerie bell)
  • "This penguin ask you to find her little penguin boy, but what a stoopid bitch, her baby boy is a-right here!"
    "She must be a blind-guin, because there is — because she cannot see few feet ahead of her own eyes. It is like mother always said: 'A drop in the basket is worth a shepherd's shilling.' Remember that. Take it to — take it to heart."
  • Malkovich's scuffle with the censors.
    Malkovich: After the misfortune of those f*bleep*king penguins— PBG as Yonik: Malkovich! You can't curse, this is public access! Malkovich: Wh-what? (cut) A-After the misfortune of those f*bleep*king penguins — SH*bleep*!
  • The different callers that Malkovich gets.
    Caller 1: F*bleep* you. Caller 2: Hey Malkovich, have you ever played Super Contra? And also, does your mom have a dick? Caller 3: F*bleep*k. Caller 4: Hey, f*bleep*k you. Caller 5: F*bleep*k f*bleep*king f*bleep*k.
    • Malkovich's response to Caller 2; notably, how he pronounces "dick" as "DEEEEEEK".
  • Malkovich somehow mistaking President Clinton for President Clitoris.
  • Malkovich's concluding statement brought us this gem:
    "Maybe someday, the N64 will be so advanced, that you can make your ex-wife actually feel the pain. (smile fades as eerie music plays and camera zooms in on Malkovich's face)
    • At the last moment, Malkovich just pulls a random face◊ that gets freeze-framed while "Axel F" plays in the background.

    Drunk Gaming: The Castlevania Adventure 
  • Jon prepares for the review by drinking, in his own words, "way too much." Jacques is crawling around on his shirt as he starts drinking.
    Jon: Jacques, you can't have any Seagram's! Are you twenty-one - you're, like one and a fuckin' half!
  • He's still able to give relatively coherent reasons as to why the game is bad, despite being drunk.
  • "This game is good and all...no, it's not."
  • Saying the climbing is like "the frickin' Beach Boys on a hot summer Sunday."
  • Discussing the enemies which flash down onto the screen in a droplet effect.
    Jon: They drop like a poo-poo...
  • When describing a particularly difficult jump, he brings a hand down to the floor (complete with a 'woosh' sound!) to demonstrate how poorly a novice player would handle it. Then, with a drunken giggle...
    Jon: Where'd I go. How did I get here. Let's get back up - okay. We're good.
  • Describing the boss's harpoon weapon as its "penis of doom."

    Monster Bash 
  • The intro to the Monster Bash review consists of a disclaimer that Jon failed to keep up with his Halloween deadline... to the tune of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air rap.
    Jon: Oh, no... I really bit the BIG ONE AGAIN!
  • When discussing the various types of games that came out in the MS-DOS era, Jon shows some clips from a obscure game named Demon Blue when he adds "weird fuckin' games" to the list. Rather than elaborate, he allows the weirdness of the game to speak for itself.
  • When Jon claims that the sound of giggling, falling skulls (in the game) is music to his ears, the sound is featured with a clip from an ad for Mattress Ranch. Something about the surreal nature of this combination and the jump-cut zoom on the man's face towards the end makes this moment hilarious.
  • Jon trying to get the game to run is hilarious in and of itself, culminating in this gem:
    Jon: *barely containing a laugh* Yeah that's right, you type bashe1 to start the game... MS-DOS, ladies and gentlemen

    Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts 
  • Jacques attempting to mindwipe Jon to forget about the game when he finds it. It winds up backfiring when Jon discovers it in his hands and gets excited over that there's a new Banjo-Koozie game.
    Jacques: Oh, Crap! (Goomba stomp sound as Jon picks him up)
  • Jon realizing Grunty has bound him to his seat until he beats the game:
    Jon: Oh, no... OOOHH, NOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!
  • Jon's reaction to cars in Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts:
    Jon: Cars...? Cars?! CAAAAAAARS!!!!!
    (an instrumental of "I Will Always Love You" starts playing)
    Jon: (singing slightly off-key) ♪ AND IIIIIIIII ♪ — HOLY SHIT! — ♪ WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU ♪ — I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME, GODDAMMIT, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!
  • Hell, the entire review. Such as the epic buildup to when he realizes what he's actually going to play.
  • After Jon sees an in-game radio that plays music from Conker's Bad Fur Day.
    Jon: We get it, Rareware! You used to be cool! Can-can you get on with it? STOP!.. STOP IT!.. STOP TAUNTING ME!
  • After Jon sees that Lord of Games can be abbreviated to LOG:
    Jon: Yeah. This game reminds me of some certain kinds of logs.
    (cut to logs spinning wildly against a spiraling background while "Running in the '90s" plays in the background)
    Jon: LIKE THESE ONES!
  • His explanation of the disappointment of Nuts and Bolts.
    Jon: I mean, what if after Super Mario World, Nintendo came out with a teaser trailer for Super Mario 64, but upon release day, you were greeted with MARIO CITY SIMULATOR?! AND THEN YOU TURNED ON THE GAME AND SHIGERU MIYAMOTO'S GHOST COMES OUT AND IS LIKE "UHHH FUCKIN' WHO LIKES THE OLD MARIO GAMES AMIRITE? BRB, MAKIN' LEGEND OF ZELDA MODERN WARFARE!!!"
  • "Ladies and gentlemen, I've plucked a whale from the ocean, and he sounds like a seal!" *whale makes seal noises* *cut to Jon smiling and nodding*
  • Rockington being Put on a Bus.
    Jon: What a beautiful day; wouldn't you say, Rockington? [Cut to the ground, with nothing in the shot] Jon: Oh, yeah. I l—I lost Rockington. I lo—I LOST A ROCK! [[note]]Jon would reveal years later in a Q&A that he legitimately lost Rockington and that this was his honest reaction.
  • Jon trying to finish the game early by running over Gruntilda with his car.
    Jon: Maybe I can end the game early by killing Gruntilda while she's in the open! Get 'er! Get 'er! Kick 'er eees! HAHAHAHAH-Seriously. This ain't funny anymore. This is now called DramTron.
  • The way Jon brings Jacques back to life. You'd expect there to be some kind of convoluted way to do it, as this is one of the more plot-driven Video Review Shows (in the Atop the Fourth Wall sense). But then, instead, you get:
    Jon: Jacques! OW-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO!
    [Jacques just comes back, accompanied by a powerup SFX from Super Mario Bros.]
  • Jon appreciates the subtle Breaking the Fourth Wall in Nuts & Bolts.
    Jon: ... if you spell 'subtly' like THIS...
    [The word "SUBTLY" appears in big, bold, flashing letters spinning against a backdrop of fire and explosions with the crescendo of "Ghost Love Score" playing in the background]
  • After he complains about the small pizza thing from the opening, this happens.
    Jon: OHHHHHHHM, I'm in da treesh. How did I get dere?
  • Jon doesn't take the Lord of Games firing shots at Banjo-Kazooie very lightly.
    L.O.G.: In line with Banjo tradition, your challenge will consist of collecting as many pointless objects as possible.
    (Record Needle Scratch)
    Jon: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! YOU JUST HOLD ON A SECOND!
    (cut to a fat Banjo and Gruntilda's skull running and picking up coins at a horrendously slow pace)
    Jon: HAHAHAHA GET IT? BECAUSE BANJO-KAZOOIE WAS TOTALLY THIS TEDIOUS! (cut to black) HOLY SHIT!

    Birdemic 
  • His reaction to the boss's announcement.
    Boss: Ladies and gentleman, I have some great news. Our board of directors has agreed to the acquisition of NCT software by Oracle Corpation for a billion dollars!
    (Everyone applauds)
    Jon: (Takes off glasses) A BILLION DOLLARS?!
  • While the entire review of Birdemic is a crowning moment of funny, it's Jon's reaction to the birds finally showing up that seals the deal. Just the way his voice crackles as he reacts to the scene is utterly hysterical.
    Jon: "Okay, we are forty minutes into this movie and I haven't seen any GODDAMN birds"
    [Cue a storm of badly animated digital birds dive bombing and exploding on a town.]
    [Cut to Jon◊]
    Jon: Well, that's about enough life for me for one day. Let me check the time. [Checks wrist, which doesn't have a watch on it] Yeah, it's about that time. [Falls and blows up]
    [Cut back to film]
    Jon: [Scared] I take it back! Go back to when there weren't birds!
  • Not to mention his reaction shot when the characters are shown fighting terribly CGI'd birds with wire hangers.
    SRSLY?
  • When one of the actors stumbles over his line:
    Actor: [Half-mumbled] What's with th- all the noise?
    Jon: I'm sorry, what was that?
    Actor: [Again] What's with th- all the noise?
    Jon: I d-d-know whaja talkin' abbat.
  • And when he complains about the camera angle. It escalates pretty fast.
    Jon: Hey, could you move the camera down a bit? The camera is a bit-the camera-the camera's a bit HIGH UP!!
  • After being burnt out by the solar panel scene:
    Jon: Let me weight this down for ya: Hitchcock, Kubrick, Coppola, Nguyen. Okay? Just, can we get to the romantic subplot already? Please?
    [Cut to said subplot]
    Rod: I work at a starter company called MCT Software. Got the stock option. Hopefully, if the company makes it big by-
    Jon: NEVER MIND, I TAKE IT BACK!
  • Gushing over how genuinely lovely and sincere the mom character is, to the point where she's about the only thing keeping him watching.

    Bubsy 
  • At the start of the video when Jacques calls Jon, we see that Jon's ringtone is, of all songs, "Hit 'Em Up" by Tupac.
    • Even more funny since all we hear of the song is the line "You claim to be a player but I fucked your wife."
  • The beginning has this gem:
    Jon: [Upon realizing that he's back in his room and Jacques is ticked off] Whoa, whoa, oh no! I-I was reviewing the game the whole time, look! [laughs nervously while putting the cover of 3D Dot Game Heroes in his SNES, Jacques just looks with flaming eyes and a red-tinted background] Jacques, that doesn't go in there, you silly bitch! [laughs nervously again]
  • "It's a cat an' ya put him in a shirt an' bam! Is' Bubsy! (Cut to black, suddenly distant) I QUIT!"
  • Jon's reaction to the game's damage mechanics.
    Jon: (as Bubsy lands from a height and dies) Oh, what's going on, Bubsy, you feeling alright? (sudden realisation) I... MELTED?! (replay of the clip) Was that... was that falling damage? They put FALLING DAMAGE in their motherfucking 2D platform game?! (Cut to a newspaper with the headline "JonTron Quits" while Eric Prydz's "Call On Me" plays in the background.)
    • Even better is what the newspaper says: "'Falling Damage in a platformer? There are things no man should see. Nice tits btw' Said a melancholy JonTron" (sic)
    • On the same newspaper, the words "Cries of Triumph Resound" also appear.
  • His reaction to one of the death animations in the first game: getting carried away in a cartoon car simply by jumping into it.
    Jon (voiceover): Alright, almost done with this level, just gotta... get a lit- da— (Bubsy jumps in a car and dies, replays follow) oh... ah... oh?
    Jon: Jumping — in a car — killed me. No, it's, ah- no, really— (to the tune of Deck the Halls) That's the way we wash our hands! (throws controller on the floor) FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!!
  • After he takes an alternative path that just drops him off at the beginning of the level:
    *lollipop with "SUCKER" on it covers Jon's head* "What? It took me to the beginning of the level. Who caaares? I don't care. I don't even care." ("I care immensely" flashes on the screen.)
  • "Yeeeaaaah! Bubsy Two! Bubsy Three!...BUBSY FUCKIN' TWO!"
  • Here's his reaction to one of the stages... called Hamalot:
    Jon: Good one, Bubsy! Hey, wanna be a cast member on Sat-purr-day Night Live? I know you'll make the MEOWST of it! (Cut to black, suddenly distant) I'm leavin' ya, Bubsy!
  • "Five stars! A+! Four stars!"
  • "Bubsy is 3D in Furbitten Planet, because talent."
  • "Did I say that I felt bad? Let me rephrase that: I feel bad for me."
  • "Yeah, Play for Points! Gotta get that high score and post it to SNES-Live, yo."
  • His reaction to Bubsy in 3D weakly Breaking the Fourth Wall by asking what a platforming game would be without platforms.
    "Bubsy 3D: LITERALLY A PLATFORMER!!"
  • "Watch the fuck out, citizens of Bubsyland. Captain Bubsy is drunk as shit again and heavily armed with puns!"

    King's Quest V 
  • Also, Jon using his Tron-Bunk kit to figure out one of the game's essential flaws:
    Jon: Yeah... yes, I see... oh, that's righteous, that's good. Ah, there it is. It's clear now, I've got it. [Cut to Jon, deadpan] ev'rbuhdy mov' sfuckin' slow! Ev'rybuhdy mov'sssreally fuckin' slow!
  • Jon's hysterical reaction to a bear knocking King Graham out, with fighter's stance and all.
    Jon: He's got the eyes of Muhammad Ali. And the butt of Bea Arthur.
  • When King Graham receives fairy dust from Cedric the owl, he flies in an extremely clumsy and awkward manner. It gets even crazier when the dust suddenly wears off, causing Graham to fall into a lake. Cedric then comments that the dust wore off, which means that he knew all along and could've easily told Graham, but didn't. Jon doesn't take it lightly.
    Jon: Oh, yeah! It's real funny, ain't it?! HAHAHA! I almost just died, you piece of shit! (voice now more distant) Fuckin' owl, you suck! (door slam)
    • Jon's reaction to Graham's fly sequence alone is grand.
      Jon: As gracefully as the beautiful black swan. How could it be possible to be so stupid and so magical all at the same time? Surely, we will never know. I mean, have you goddamn seen this guy?
  • This exchange:
    Narrator: He who speaks with forked tongues should never be trusted.
    Jon: Blatant racism.
  • Jon's advice for anyone who is complaining about him choosing V out of all the King's Quest series, despite having the full series.
    Jon: I mean, you can leave a complaint in the complaint box, BUT I DON'T CHECK THAT SHIT!
  • Jon's response to Cedric referring to his "leftover fairy dust."
    Jon: Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays? I mean, the 90s... 'cause this game was made in the 90s...so I can't use that joke.
  • Jon using the "old piece of magical white snake" line from the "wizard named 'I don't give a fuck'" to make a joke about Whitesnake and put in a bit of their "Here I Go Again" video from the 80s.
  • Why you should never ignore Cedric's advice.
    Cedric: Graham, watch out! A POIsonous snake!
    Jon: Yeah, okay, yeah. Let's talk about this. Imma need you to never speak again, please. Is that - is - are we clear? Are we clear on that? I don't need a owl telling me what to do anyway - (runs into snake and dies) - ..Ohhhhh, the owl was right.
  • "That there is a Wilford Brimley impression. My pancreas doesn't work." Cue a screen of (ORIGINAL JOKE) set to "Through the Fire and Flames" by DragonForce, ending with an explosion.
  • Jon doesn't enjoy the narrator's dark jokes about Graham's demises.
    (Graham loses game by succumbing to greed)
    Narrator: Cheer up, Graham. At least you can practice your game of tiddlywinks.
    Jon: Hey, fuck you, man.

    Continue Crossover 
  • The Continue Show crossover. Six games in a row. Adult Chocolate Milk. Hilarity Ensues.
  • "I love you either!"

    Top 10 Necessary Game Sequels 
  • The start of his entry on Mega Man in the Top 10 Necessary Game Sequels.
    "Pew pew pew [With accompanying text] pewpewpewpewpewpewpew [With accompanying text] BRAAAAAAAAAP [Picture of Skrillex]"

    Dino City 
  • Jon trying to figure out how to load up Dino City, starting his infamous Running Gag. He tries the PS3, then the PS2, then tries to load it into a PC tray, then into the DS, then on top of his wireless router, then into the dishwasher, then into the dishwasher, then into the... dishwasher... again, and then finally realises the correct console: The SMBS.
    Jon: Now, if I just remembered how to play this thing... [tries to load it into PS3] Oh, no, no, not on the PS3... Silly to think it'd be on the 2... [puts into PC tray] I'll just put it in the PC tray, see what happens... [game falls out] Well that's unfortunate. [opens DS and rams it with the cartridge] Alright, well, the DS can, uh, usually play the games, so... [places game on wireless router] Ohhh, it's a done deal, it's the wireless router! It's... This has not worked... [drops in dishwasher] Dishwasher? No... [drops in dishwasher again] Dishwasher? No... [throws in dishwasher a third time] ...Dishwasher? Yeah, that's what I— [shakes camera at SNES] Oh my God, how could I have been so stupid?! The SMBS! [places game in... upside-down]
    • "Sleep timely on the rocks, with baby Jesus by your side."
  • Jon mocking the developer, Irem's name.
    Jon: Ah, yes, this game is made by... Irem. As in, "Irem-ember them." Oh, wait, no, I don't!
    [Then, later on, while ranting about the game's design...]
    Jon: Hmm... Irem-ember why no one remembers Irem. 'Cause they can't program higher than NINE!
  • "Timmy entered the TV world when he touched his dad's science device...?"
    Jon: *silently mouths "Oh my God"*
    Jon: Hmm, if Timmy's dad isn't careful, his "science device" just might land him 10 to 20 years in prison.
  • On the pink dinosaur's abilities:
    Jon: You know, it's your normal stuff; punch, shoot, make your dinosaur catatonic, and use a little girl to freeze shit up. You know, your normal stuff!
  • Jon getting irritated by the fact that the game counts your lives past 9 but doesn't show you and tossing the cartridge back in the dishwasher.
    Jon: Okay, yeah, that's fine. Nothingwrongthere-Idontseeanythingwrongthere dishwasher? YES.
  • At the end, he bursts into a cover of "Firework."

    Nightshade 
  • His thoughts on the appearance of Nightshade on the cartridge.
    Jon: Nightshade, starring the Neighborhood Watch Guy. (changes to a very wide-eyed expression) Don't let him touch your kids.
  • Jon's response to being fooled:
    Jon: Fool me once, I'm mad. Fool me twice, how could you? Fool me three times, you're officially that guy, OK? You know him, you know the one. You go into the bar and he's like, [pompous Jerkass voice] "This suit is a, officially, it's, uh, Giorgio Armani. Ech, m'dad knows him." [normal voice] FUCK YOU! [spontaneously bursts into song and gains the mannerisms of a Sassy Black Woman] ♪ I AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN'T HAVIN' THAT SHIT! ♪ [cracks a small grin] note 
  • Jon's bizarre methods of putting cartridges into their respective consoles reaches its nadir when he just throws the cartridge at his NES. And misses.
    Jon: [throws cartridge at NES] Uh, I don't think we're...
  • The comic in the opening is So Bad, It's Good. Jon and Jacques don't think so.
    Narrator: Once upon a time, there was a land that had no heroes. Crime ran amok, people, they were stuck in dead-end jobs, sometimes in dirt, gravel, molasses. Et cetera. And then, there was light, from the hilltops, a shadowy figure emerged. He was light, but also shadow. He also had super strength, was made of metal, and had the properties of water. They also had great hair. It was JonTron Man and his trusty falcon, Greased Lightning. note  Together, they had really good hair. (makes sound effects as they fight villains) And then they made a billion dollars.
    Jon: (closes book) Well, that was a load of shit. I think they used our likenesses. (to Jacques) Should we sue?
    Jacques: Out the butt.
    Jon: Yeah, we should sue. note 
  • The part where Jon goes into a doorway and finds a thug that he mistakes for an old-timey cop. All of it. Mostly due to the thug's animations, with the best being a brawling stance.
  • Jon's priceless reaction to finding his popularity increased after killing a criminal he thought was a policeman. By basically saying an "Okay..." in disbelief... while inserting a mugshot of a very derpy donkey. Just see for yourself.
  • The meltdown at the end.
    Jon: I'M SICK OF YOUR SHIT! (throws cartridge)
    • Jon trying to bash the cartridge to bits with a cheap dollar-store plastic Mjolnir, only for the opposite to happen and the toy to be quickly obliterated from the abuse. Jon just takes the wrecked handle and pretends it's a microphone, just because it resembles one. He then starts singing bad karaoke while the video's frame rate is slowed to a crawl, making him sound like a sedated Chewbacca.
    • Also, the whole cause for the meltdown? He saw a thug beating up an old lady by clonking her over the head, over and over again.
  • "Nightshade likes it to be night. In the shade. Doesn't wanna acknowledge curtains... uh, fuck, cut that, just cut that whole..."
  • Jon reading a Hurricane of Puns about "grate/great," not even managing to finish the sentence before becoming physically sickened by the assault.
  • [Trying to pick up a crowbar] "A don't do it, and B don't do it, so what do it? This controller only got 2-it... dem buttons..." *Beat* [Caption to sped-up Super Mario 3D Land music: THATWASAJOKETHX4COMING]
    • Before that, when he thinks Nightshade is just hard to impress, listing his reactions to an ancient and future history museum. It's subtle, but the arm Nightshade points with changes from bronze to a cyborg arm.
  • His inability to pronounce Sutekh's name, so he called him "HUEGH" or "HEUGH" or, the second time he does it, "KREGH." That second time seems to also gain a little bit memetic status due to how hilarious he delivered it:
    Sutekh: "So, pathetic meddler! Your career is over before it has begun!"
    Jon (raising and shaking one hand): DAMN YOU, KREGH!
  • GROSS
  • Willem Dafoe Basketball.
  • Jon's reaction to starting the game by losing half his health.
    Jon: *squinty-eyed smile* Dis' gonn' be a good game.
  • "How am I supposed to do that?!? HOW-MA-S'POSED TO DO THAT?!!"
  • SHIET

    Space Ace 
  • Jon as he describes the game's creator, Don Bluth.
    Jon: These games were made by the living legend, Don Bluth. Or as he's better known: The Half-Second Cousin of Mitt Romney!
    [Beat]
    (Large red letters spelling out "THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUE" appear as the battle music from Golden Sun plays and fire obscures the background)
  • Jon claiming that he has some of the original cels from Space Ace and Dragon's Lair... Except he's in his friend Ross' house.
    Ross: Jon, what the fuck are you doing in our house?!
    Jon: I gotta get outta here...
    Holly: I'll get the guns.
  • Jon asks for a high-five. Jacques slaps Jon with a mouse-cursor hand... somehow.
    Jon: ...well, if you say it like that, I mean I guess that's how it's gonna be.
  • Jon's adorable/hilarious reaction to finding the Space Ace SNES game. He sounds like an excited four-year-old.
    Jon: Issa Space Ace! Iss for the SUPER NINTENDO. Thank y - [drops the game on the floor] - ahhh!
  • "It's Ace, our titular hero, Kimberly, the stereotypical damsel in distress, and Borf, the blue dude... he's fuckin' blue, here's a list of tax receipts."
  • Space Walken.
  • "Hmm hmm?!"
    • "Hmm hmm. (exasperated gasp) HMM HMM?!?"
  • The follow-up.
    Jon: No, I—! What kind of death sound is this? I-I can't even get over it! I think this is the absolute fastest a game has left me speechless. Literally, with the motherfuckin' humming and the... bring on the Mariachi band! [Fleshgod Apocalypse - Embodied Deception plays while the background is set on fire] (angrily): That's not Mariachi!
  • Jon about the animations you get when you die.
    Jon: Here's a lollipop after your doctor's visit. Duh, you may have herpes, but it's... tastes like... cinnamon...
  • "Space Maze! Eh, duh, Space Maze." (Pictures of corn in space appear as a laugh track plays.)
  • Jon's initial reaction to the Space Maze level in his Space Ace review: he yells "JESUS, WE'RE GOING IN HARD, STRAP IN," puts on a Guy-Man helmet (which makes a squeaky toy noise), and starts firing a toy laser while holding an Atari joystick as an alert sounds and screaming incoherently.
  • Jon's reaction to seeing the "mutant bunnies" in the Barren Wasteland stage.
  • I GIVE UP THAT'S IT

    Top 20 SNES Games 
  • In the intro to the Top 20 SNES Games, Jon quickly goes from his usual demeanor to this:
    Jon: These are my Top 20 favorite, in no particular order, this is just the way they happen to fall on my [Climbs on table] EMOTIONAL SCALE, AND YOU'RE GONNA ACCEPT I- [Cue "Number 20" card]
  • SUPERMETROID? ONLYNUMBERTWELVEONDALIST? *cue a scene of a riot happening in a town*
    • It's the delivery of this line that really sells it.
  • In his Top 10 SNES Games video, at the end of the EarthBound part where he's talking about EarthBound as an experience. "I mean, look at Heavy Rain!" Cue yet another mockery of Press X to Jason, except the last one crashes. And then it shows up again at the end of the Super Mario RPG part. "So to cap it off, I'll just say-Jason!"

    Kinect Star Wars 
  • Jon realizes that the game just might be too big to take on by himself.
    Jon: Man, I don't think I can tackle this alone. You know who I need—
    Jirard: *Pops into frame, yelling* THE COMPLETI—
    Jon: (leaps back) AAAAH!!!
    Jirard: (startled) AAAAH!!!
  • Jon's reaction to the Galactic Dance Off (set to "I'm Han Solo", with your player character actually being Han Goddamn Solo) in Kinect Star Wars. He actually needed to check to see if this was real.
    Jon: Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
    • It's even funnier when it turns out that this is the part of the game that he enjoys the most, in spite of the backlash against the mini-game.
      Jon: Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! (starts dancing and grooving along to the song)
  • Jon exploiting a part of the game where you can say "Xbox" to start it.
    Jon: ECHSBAX! ECHSBAX! I'm goddamn upstanding with this right now. ECHSBAX!

Others

  • How to Play Counter Strike: Global Offensive
    • Upon earning an achievement, he recognizes the name:
      Jon: Eye to Eye, that was a song from Goof Troop. (gets killed) I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KILLED ME WHILE I WAS TALKING ABOUT GOOF TROOP!
    • "Don't you, YOU CAN'T PASS. That's the line right? From the movie the Hobbit 2?"

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