Funny / Final Fantasy XIV

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Warning: Spoilers Off applies to this page. Proceed at your own risk.

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Final Fantasy XIV Main Page
Legacy/A Realm Reborn - Heavensward - Stormblood - Shadowbringers - Endwalker - Gentleman Inspector Hildibrand

• Legacy/A Realm Reborn
• Heavensward
• Stormblood
• Shadowbringers
• Endwalker
• Gentleman Inspector Hildibrand

General Gameplay

• Eorzea uses its own measurement system based roughly on the Imperial system. The base small measure, the Ilm (Inch), is roughly the size of an adult Hyur's thumb. Apparently before it became standardized, there were arguments between those who measured using a Lalafell's thumb (usually when selling) or a Roegadyn's (usually when buying). There was one particular argument that was solved when they decided on a Hyur's thumb as the base. Consequently, the small mass unit, the Onze, is the weight of a Hyur's thumb.
• There's some hidden gems within the interface itself. When adjusting the chat settings, the preview window shows how the chat looks on specific channels. The preview window for tells makes Cloud look like a pervert.
  Cloud: Nice shirt.
  Tifa: Eyes up here, Cloud.
  • In fact, the majority of chat setting previews are in this same vein, making the player out to be a borderline Mary Sue, while making Cloud look like a grade-A Butt-Monkey. For example, the "own/others' synthesis notifications":
    You synthesize a suit of diamond armor.
    Cloud Strife synthesizes a boiled egg.
  • Or "damage dealt by you/others":
    You hit the Shadow Lord for 9999 damage.
    Cloud Strife hits the little ladybug for 2 damage.
• For those who have purchased the 2016 Fanfest stream, they received either a Rikku, Lulu, or Yuna minion (depending on which stream you buy) and four Dreams of the Fayth. The last lines in the letter you receive with the aforementioned items?
  May they help you forget the echoes of Tidus's maniacal laughter. If that's even possible.
• For those who pre-ordered Stormblood, they received Ala Mhigo Earrings and a wind-up red mage minion as a bonus. Once again, the last line in the letter accompanying them is pretty funny.
  May they help you forget all about blue mage.^note Becomes even funnier when Blue Mage became an actual class years later.
  • The Stormblood Collector's editions goodies include a Windup Bartz with the following flavor text.
    ''I like small Bartz and I cannot lie.
    • Also funny is how the ingame mail ends with the message "No ifs, ands, or butz about it" Butz being the original Japanese name for the character.
• The Minion obtained from the Alphascape battle is the OMG. Flavor text: Weird. Technological. Fascinating.
• After the introduction of flying, how does the Adamantoise mount fly? By retracting into its shell, spouting flames out of where their head and limbs used to be and spinning in a circle.
• A question that everyone had regarding the Regalia, the Cool Car mount from the Final Fantasy XV crossover event, was how exactly Lalafells would be able to drive them, considering their diminutive statures. The answer? They stand up in the driver's seat to see over the steering column!
  • Which becomes even funnier if you realize that the next two smallest character types, Female Au Ra and Mi'qote, also have that issue but they can't do the same.
• What's the reward for unlocking the True Blue achievement? A Morbol mount, with the player being held by one of its vines. It even comes with its signature Bad Breath move as a mount action, with the rider directly in the line of fire of the attack, causing them to cover their nose to protect themselves from the stench.
• The physics on cloth, capes, and similar fabrics aren't that good due to their frequent clipping and some poofy sleeves don't flutter or move at all. The wedding dress takes the cake where if said player wears the dress and lies down on a bed, the dress will poof out like a tent.
• Some quests actually require you to say something in the /say. The game will check for the key words... but not anything that will give actual context to the words! Cue players saying either absolute gibberish or something worse, just because the game accepts it. Or Melon and watch as it accepts it as a valid 'use' of the phrase.
• Blue Magic makes players an absolute wildcard in combat, able to replicate spells and skills used by monsters. As a result, some spells make the caster look ridiculous and silly.
  • Flying Sardine makes you spit fish at something and having a paltry 10 potency. That's not its intended use, though, as it is the Blue Mage's "interrupt" spell, akin to Interject or Head Graze. After all, you would be stunned speechless getting a fish to the face.
  • Flying Frenzy is, to put it bluntly, a belly flop.
• The Endwalker benchmark has the Warrior of Light and their allies cheer if your benchmark score is good. Should your PC be extremely low specced and thus not able to run the benchmark properly, the Warrior of Light is in complete despair while some of their allies ditch them.◊
• With belts now obsolete as of Endwalker, the tooltips for the former armor pieces now have little stories proclaiming that tailoring had been advanced enough to make belts obsolete. Even more hilarious, the Belts of Early, Golden and Lost Antiquity say they were once sought after, but now worthless because of this.
  • 2021 Starlight Celebration (Eorzea's stand-in for Christmas) arrived roughly with Endwalker's launch. And when you mentions belts while taking Godber.... Saint of Nymeia into Gridania's market during his trip for inspiration to make gifts with, the fourth wall gets a bit strained under the weight:
  Saint of Nymeia: " 'Belts'...? Ah, yes! Those fabled objects that were said to have once help up many an adventurer's pantaloons! And yet, it is strange. When I try to recall what they looked like, I see them only in silhouette, as if they stood betwixt me and a blinding glare..."^note Belts were the only gear item to have no model and thus were never visible on characters. Even jewelry have unique models if they aren't covered by other clothing, but not belts. You'll also note that line was the same one used to describe the Legacy-era Warrior(s) of Light.
• One of the mounts added in Endwalker is the Level Checker. Yes, the screen on the bendy neck stand, and you somehow ride in it. Yes, you ride in the Level Checker, somehow shrunken down to get crammed into the screen.
• Players who are afflicted with the Confusion debuff lose control of their characters and can only watch helplessly as they attack another player close to them. This can lead to a hilarious moment of the targeted player realizing their ally is attacking them and desperately trying to run away while the confused player gives chase.
• Because cutscenes use the game engine, whatever clothes you wear will be reflected as such in the cutscene. This also means you can create a Mood Whiplash and ruin epic or serious scenes by wearing a silly outfit, be in nothing but your underwear, or wielding a weapon with a funny sound (e.g. the Moggle Mog weapons) that pierces through the silent tension. This also applies to the scene in Endwalker where Zenos is in the Warrior of Light's body and is about to attack the Scions while wearing whatever you were wearing previously. This means that even if he is in a Chocobo outfit or is wearing a bikini, Zenos is still menacing and isn't bothered by your choice of clothes, or lack thereof.
• The in-game manual for the island sanctuary is chock full of sarcastic wit. Some gems include:
  • The section explaining the petting mechanic states that while petting your animals may bring absolute joy to your soul, it has no practical effect in gameplay whatsoever.
  • The section that shows the player how to select materials for their mammets to use guilt trips you by saying not having enough materials can make a mammet cry and that you don't want to be a Warrior of Light that makes mammets cry.
• The All Saints Wake will sometimes allow you be able to transform into an NPC that appeared in the MSQ. Because said NPCs use the same kind of animations as the player character, that means you can come up with really ridiculous scenes like having Raubahn doing the Manderville dance, Kan-E-Senna doing the imperial salute, or even someone like Valens smugly eating a pumpkin cookie.
• With the inclusion of the Brand New Alisaie set, comprised of Alisaie's Scion outfit and hairdo, the Sharlayan Rebellion hairstyle has a note on its tooltip that it's not the same as a previous hairstyle, a joke nod to the fact that Alphinaud's hairstyle in the Brand New Alphinaud set is almost similar, but isn't.
• 6.51 brought the Blunderdome to Eorzea in the form of the Blunderville, which, naturally, brought the silliness and chaos of the game with it. From slippery slopes to trying to avoid a barrel pendulum while spinning like a top, there's blunders aplenty, even when your character's stone-faced as they can be. You even do the Bean's emotive excitement at the end of your run like in the game's result's screen, and it's available as an emote!
• The 2023 Starlight event has a repeatable quest that lets you meet one of several major NPCs from the MSQ. One of them is Magnai, who explains he's not visiting Eorzea to celebrate the event with children, but he arrived because he heard it's an ideal setting to find his Nhaama. The Warrior of Light can only look in surprise and shrug as the lovestruck Magnai runs off to find his true love yet again.
  • The main story deals with helping a young boy named Tenny, who is feeling guilt for not being able to join his friends in the celebration as he moved to Gridania from Ul'dah. One of the options to fixing this problem? Telling him you're gonna smuggle him back to Ul'Dah.
• The Dawntrail Benchmark managed to slip in a humorous Easter Egg. If you set your character creator to the default Midlander Male and set your system date to April 1st, your character becomes Hildibrand or Brandihild in the benchmark cinematic.

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