Funny / Dimension 20

What sins man hath wrought.

It's a Dungeons & Dragons game where all the players are professional comedians, of course it's going to have some good jokes.

This is a Moments page, so please bear in mind that Spoilers Off applies.

Fantasy High

Series

Episode 1: The Beginning Begins

• Kristen and Gorgug's first interaction:
  Kristen: You seem really non-violent, which is great. Violence is never the answer.
  Gorgug: I go into a rage.
• Sandralynn's reaction to Fig lighting up a cigarette.
  Sandralynn: Where the fuck did you get a cig- [she grabs the cigarette] I don't - where did you get that?!
  Fig: I light up another.
  Sandralynn: GOD-
• Fig's first interaction with Goldenhoard as he catches her trying to steal lunches in the teachers' lounge.
  Goldenhoard: Okay. Immediate detention. We are three for three, and it's, I mean...I am about to ring the first bell.
  Fig: The crazy thing is, you're just playing into my hand. Welcome to my game, you just did exactly what I wanted you to do.
  Goldenhoard: I...I tru-I don't know you. Right? This is baffling.
• Principal Arthur Aguefort's Establishing Character Moment. To the uninitiated, his definition of "hero" sounds appallingly and violently imperialistic. A D&D player will know he's actually displaying remarkable Genre Savvy.
  Aguefort: Welcome, one and all, to another exciting year here at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy, where we train the next generation of adventurers. But what is an adventurer? One who goes on adventures? I say that an adventurer is a hero, and what is a hero? A hero is someone with the strength of heart, courage of spirit, and the might of will to go to strange lands and enact violence on things there. We go to places where there are things that must be destroyed, and we destroy them. Wandering from town to town, getting into trouble, meeting in flophouses and taverns and getting into scrapes with the law and otherwise finding ourselves engaged in all manner of tomfoolery and shenanigans sometimes violent, sometimes fatal. Yes fatal. A hero is a violent wanderer who enacts their will bloodily and with strange magicks upon the world. BUT does a hero truly stand alone? (mirthful chuckle) No, the strength of the hero is the strength of the party. And what is a party? A gathering of friends, perhaps with some alcoholic beverages, some fun music, ha ha ha, a jape! For all of you. A party is a group that comes together to embellish each other's strengths and eradicate each others weaknesses. A party is composed of those who have sworn themselves to each other, to make themselves greater than the sum of their parts. Perhaps we have flaws within us, perhaps we don’t cast magic, and we need someone who can cast magic to help us when we need magic. Perhaps we’re very tough, and we can sustain a lot of injuries, but we need somebody who is very good at hurting people there with us as well. Perhaps we need a sneaky person to sneak, not always, sometimes we don’t need that but occasionally, in circumstances where you do need one, you really need one, right? With traps and other things like that. That is the meaning of party, and party is the meaning of hero, and never forget, all of you, (slurps) ugh, it's—bad. Never forget that the greatest magic of all is Chronomancy, the magic of time. Welcome to your first year, freshmen, at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy! (turns into light and disappears)
  Fig: My hand was on the fire drill the whole time, to pull it, but I was so moved by that that I actually took it off.
  Gorgug: I was looking for a pencil that whole time.
  Fig: ...Really cool.
• After Adaine steals a book from the restricted section and has a panic attack, Kristen appears and asks if she's okay. Fig thinks what Adaine did was "pretty awesome."
  Adaine: Oh god, no, the goth kid thinks I'm cool.
  • Then Kristen thinks it's a good idea to compliment Adaine's giant orb and make it glow...which attracts the attention of Goldenhoard.
  • After Goldenhoard has given Adaine detention, Fig decides it's a good idea to say "hi" flirtily at a man who has previously given her detention as well. Goldenhoard shuts her down, declaring "We don't have a thing. You have a thing..."
• Throughout the bloodrush tryout, Fabian cheerfully brushes off Ragh's vicious insults as "witty barbs."
• For the running part of the tryout, Fabian rolls a nat 20 on Athletics, and Coach Daybreak congratulates him.
  Brennan: All right, well there, fancy boy, you got some moves on you, I'll give you that.
  Fabian: Oh? Fancy Boy, that's a fun nickname. Is that gonna be my nickname, like Ball? I'm Fancy Boy? I like it.
• During his bloodrush tryout, Fabian is asked to throw the ball...right after getting a 22 on an Athletics check. So what does he do? He decides that all the people that he could pass to are losers, spots an opening, and runs the ball to the end zone all by himself (and places the ball down gently). Coach Daybreak tells him to hit the showers, and it takes a moment for Fabian to figure out he's failed his tryout for not throwing the ball or acting like a team player.
  • After Ragh calls Fabian out for not throwing, he decides to guess at the reason why...and for some reason phrases it as Fabian "hav[ing] bad thoughts about what to do."
  • Fabian tells the team "see you on the hill."
    Brennan: Nobody else starts to leave and you notice it.
    Fabian: (enthusiastic) I'll meet you all there!
    Daybreak: You're not on the team.
    Fabian: I'm sorry...(wheezes hysterically) what? I'm sorry, what?
    Daybreak: You're not on the team.
    Fabian: (stammers) Bu-I, I mean, I ran faster and I, I, my father paid you. My father paid you money—
    Daybreak: What the hell did you just say?! (everyone else looks at him) Buddy, you got a big mouth and no heart; you will never be an Owlbear. (takes out a red slip) That's detention, pal.
    Fabian: You know what, you know what, that's...you know what, that's fine. Right? 'Cause clearly, clearly, I'm better than all of you and—at "bloodrush," right, you know what? I don't need this, I don't need any of you, and you know what, Ragh, none of your jokes are funny. I didn't like any of them.
    Ragh: WHAT THE HELL, THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID! (bursts into tears)
    Dayne: That's fucked up dude. It's fucked up to tell a guy all his jokes are bad. Think about that.
    Daybreak: Good luck. You got all the moves in the world, but it means nothing if you don't play on a team, kid. You'll learn that the hard way.
    Fabian: Oh, I'm sure I will.
• This exchange:
  Johnny Spells: Where I'm from is the same place I'm going to, buddy... nowhere.
  Riz: (snickering) Can I get a perception check to see if this dude actually rules? 'Cause right now, I think he rules. (Throws a 9, which is not very high.)
  GM: This dude fucking rules.
  • Before that, when Penelope remembers Riz as "the Ball from earlier," Riz tries to pass it off as being his nickname because "[he] ball." Johnny Spells doesn't buy it for a second.
    Riz: Yeah, (turns to Johnny Spells) they call me Ball.
    Johnny Spells: Why do they call you ball?
    Riz: 'Cause I...I ball, dude.
    Johnny Spells: I don't believe that.
    Riz: Ball.
    Johnny Spells: I don't believe you.
    Riz: (suddenly serious and a bit quieter) I got shoved in a garbage can, okay, man?
    Johnny Spells: Tough...I know what it's like to get shit on. (crosses arms and turns around)
• Aguefort finishes explaining the day of fellowship: an afternoon for students to mingle feely and form adventuring parties. Then Goldenhoard grabs the mic and says:
  Goldenhoard: Except for those with detention; you will be expected in detention.
• Coach Daybreak, who knows her from their church, asks Kristen whom she wants to form an adventuring party with. He doesn’t get the response he expected:
  Kristen: Anyone who isn’t already religious.
  Daybreak: Sorry?
  Kristen: I, I really like the church, I really like the community and stuff like that, but I really wanted to come to this school and meet people who are, y’know, not non-believers, just not believers yet, y’know pre-believers.
  Daybreak: Okay, well, I was thinking about maybe betting you with some other kids that really love Helio and kind of already—
  Kristen: Agh, no. No, no, no, no, that’s just an echo chamber. I mean, we’ve all heard of that, right? Y’know, I wanna get out there, meet new people, I wanna, that’s the sound of chimes, baby, bouncing off each other, creating a beautiful noise. (sees the rest of the party being talked to by Goldenhoard) I wanna go with the bad kids.
  Daybreak: What? Kristen, you don’t belong with the bad kids. You’re a good kid; you went to church camp.
  Kristen: (whispering) Yes, exactly (slightly low volume), you know how much yeast you need to make an entire loaf rise? Just a little pinch and I can be that little pinch.
  Daybreak: I don’t think you’re yeast, kiddo. I feel like you have more—
  Kristen: I think so. I think so.
  Daybreak: Oh god, oh god.
  Kristen: Please, please, gi--g--give me detention. If they’re all going to detention just give me detention and I can go there.
  Daybreak: I can’t give you detention, for what?
  Kristen: The other day I went to a party and drank what looked like a bottle of vodka, but it was (whispering) water. (normal voice) I keep putting water in alcohol things to fit in.
  Daybreak: You want me to give you detention for not drinking?
  Kristen: I want—not just to give me detention, I want you to yell right now and make a really big scene and make it seem like I did something (whispers) terrible.
  Daybreak: (Raises voice) I, all right, everybody listen up. Kristen Applebees, bore false witness!
  Kristen: (distressed) That’s like, a cardinal sin!
  Daybreak: Yeah, well, you lied ‘cause you weren’t, you know, you weren’t drinkin’ vodka and you should always dri—(speaking voice) I can’t say this.
  Kristen: (horrified) At least you coulda said I stole some, you coulda gone way, coulda been way easier than that.
  Daybreak: Well, you know what?
  Kristen: Bore false witness!
  Daybreak: (yelling) You bore false witness!
  Goldenhoard: Coach, that’s not, that’s a, that’s a religious rule, that’s got—almost nothing to do—
  Kristen: Well, you heard the man, (nodding head “no”) sounds like I got detention. (grabs red card) Ugh. Where do I even go with this? Hey guys.
  Fabain: What did you do?
  Kristen: (mumbling) I bore false witness.
  Fabian: What is that?
  Fig: I wanna do that.
  Adaine: It means she lied.
  Kristen: Yeah, I—
  Fabian: To who? To anyone, to just somebody?
  Kristen: To, before, ummm, a higher power. Ay, yeah, it’s kinda compli—what did you guys do?
  Gorgug: We punched each other.
  Kristen: Oh yeah, I remember.
  Fabian: I’m too good at sports.
  Fig: I couldn’t eat the steak that was a ghost steak; I like couldn’t pick it up.
  Kristen: Whoa.
  Adaine: I stole a book because my stupid sister told me it was a good idea.
  Fig: I tried to get you out of that.
  Kristen: It was really cool how honest you were about that, though.
  Riz: I stole some tea.
  Kristen: Wow, a lotta thieves. God, I’m just like Jesus. Just like Helio.
• After looking out the detention window and seeing the entire student body on the school lawn on a beautiful afternoon making friends to go on adventures with, the party is greeted by Goldenhoard, who leaves them alone with the teacher in charge of disciplinary action...the school's guidance counselor, a young, chilled-out gnome named Mister Gibbons who is obsessed with asking everyone about their feelings.
  • Goldenhoard's troublemaking spiel begins with him addressing the room as "troublemakers, and, yeah, and Kristen."
  • He refers to the party's infractions as "your tomfoolery, your jackanapery, and your shenanigans."
  • Adaine wonders if diplomatic immunity can excuse her from detention. She never gets an answer because Gorgug starts the feeling-sharing.
  • Fabian admits that he did punch Gorgug, but it "wasn't worth it," immediately pivoting to complaining that he shouldn't be here since his crime was being "too good for the bloodrush team" (he wasn't, he was asked to throw the ball and ran it, refusing to be a team player), prompting Adaine, Riz, and Kristen to remind him he punched Gorgug without provocation. Fabian admits that he admitted that he punched him, implying that he thinks he'd have gotten away with punching him if he hadn't admitted it in front of the detention teacher, ignoring the multiple witnesses to his crime, five of whom are in the room next to him, including the victim. It also makes it seem like he admitted to the punch, then immediately forgot he did.

Episode 2: Clash of the Corn Cuties

• The first enemies of the season are sentient little antropomorphic corn monsters or "Corn Gremlins" as Brennan refers to them. The players think they are too cute to be scary, so they start calling them "Corn Cuties" which sticks.
• The battle begins and Fabian attempts a heroic leap into action...only to get his foot caught on one of the tables and eat shit on the floor below him.
  Fabian: I'm a runner, not a jumper, okay!?
• Murph, in a moment of sheer brilliance, asks if the corn blob's butthole is Goblin sized. The look on Brennan's face is nothing short of spectacular.
  Brennan: Now comes a moment as a Dungeon Master, where I have to consider what associated skill check is involved with jumping up a corn blob's butthole.
  • For those who are curious, it's Acrobatics.
  • Fig asks if it's Animal Handling.
  • Gorgug asks if it's Persuasion.
    Riz: "Please allow me in your butt."
    Fig: You must persuade the sphincter to gain entry.
  • If you listen carefully right after this exchange, it sounds like someone is asking if it's Stealth instead.
  • This is also the moment Brennan chooses to reveal the ooze is sentient, as it has an expression of "confusion and shame" after Riz dives in.
• Gorgug's various Captain Obvious moments, including pointing out that the Corn Ooze is trying to get into the pantry, and that Doreen's ladle is the source of all her power immediately after both of those are self-evident.
• Adaine uses Mage Hand to steal Doreen's ladle, the source of her power. On Doreen's next turn, she tries to run towards Adaine to get her ladle back, only to faceplant when trying to vault over a table. Adaine then takes the opportunity to whack Doreen across the head with her own ladle.
  Brennan: Every worst nightmare about this school has been completely confirmed. You walked out and witnessed a fight in your first 3 minutes of being here, stole something, had a panic attack, and just attacked one of the faculty!
  • Next turn of Doreen's has her attempt to stand, and Adaine hits her hard enough to break her jaw, prompting a bunch of jokes about Adaine's bloodlust and sending Adaine into a full-blown panic attack.
• Doreen's parting words to Adaine, which start off as heartfelt and end with Doreen basically cursing Adaine, who already suffers from anxiety, with her dying breath.
  Doreen: Remember me. As I was. A single woman of some years who made pre-prepared meals with a ladle for children. I asked for nothing, and I didn't choose for this to happen to me. It's your responsibility to make this right. Because you killed me. You did it. Only you. You didn't have to, and you chose to. These were your choices, and you live with them, remember my face every time you close your eyes.
• Arthur Aguefort, upon entering the school cafeteria and seeing all the carnage, goes into a long winded ramble about death and the nature thereof. He eventually comes to his point, that some powerful magics can subsume death, and produces a swirling ball of energy, which leads to:
  Aguefort: The egg of the last phoenix. However, death will exact its price. There is foul play in this school, and only you can save us. A life for a life, eh Mister Gibbons?
  Mister Gibbons: I'm sorry what?
  GM: And you see that Principal Aguefort takes out a gun and shoots Mister Gibbons in the head.
  [all the players gasp and laugh nervously]
  GM: And then takes the gun and says "The price must be paid". BLAM! Shoots himself in the head.
  [all the players lose it]
• Lou, who has until now mostly played in-character as Fabian, completely breaks character in response to Arthur Aguefort's murder-suicide of the guidance counselor and just begins shouting "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Episode 3: Rise of the Dead Teens

• In trying to figure out how to sugarcoat Adaine's murder of the old lunch lady Fig looked up to to Adaine's parents, Goldenhoard defensively admits he's processing some grief as well, as he worked with Doreen. Fig thinks this is a good time to put her legs on the table and show off the hairnet-turned-fishnet legging she took from Doreen's corpse.
  Goldenhoard: (sobs) Why? That...I'm amazed that it...fits to the contour of your leg. It's f—it's for a head. It's a completely different shape.
  Fig: It's what D woulda wanted.
  Kristen: "D"?
  Fig: I think you know.
  Fabian: You gave her a nickname already?
  Fig: Yeah.
  Goldenhoard: Posthumous nicknames notwithstanding, I want you to know that this is a traumatizing event and you are in good company.
  Fig: Hear, hear!
  Goldenhoard: All who adventure—you can't drink here! It's a school! (snatches the drink from Fig's hand)
• Coach Daybreak enters the empty classroom with a big stack of Owlbear clothes.
  Fig: Are we all on the team now?
  Daybreak: No. Your shit's covered in blood!
  Fig: Oh.
  Daybreak: Sorry, your stuff is covered—
  Kristen: That's okay; I'm on my way out.
  Fig: I jumped to a really weird conclusion.
  • After Daybreak suggests that our heroes might take a shower before their parents arrive, Adaine senses motive and rolls a six.
  Brennan: This is a good and decent man.
  Kristen: I coulda told you that. I was grown up with him.
  Gorgug: I'm gonna do an insight check as well.
  Brennan: Yeah, go for it.
  Gorgug: It's a nat one.
  Brennan: Nat one? Uh, this guy, it's weird, 'cause you are a half orc. This guy...could be your dad. (the party laughs)
  Gorgug: Dad?
  Kristen: That's exactly what a nat one gets all of us. This could be your dad (laughs). Insight check about everything!
  • After explaining away Riz's absence to Goldenhoard, Gorgug asks whether a teacher is required to tell you if they're a student's dad. Fig wonders if he's getting it mixed up with the myth about undercover cops.
    Daybreak: I, first of all, there’s some sort of epistemological question hanging in the air, which is, they might not know that they are your dad. Right? So that’s a possibility.
    Fig: Whoa.
    Gorgug: Okay, nevermind.
    Daybreak: Also, we probably shouldn’t entertain—it’s probably not your dad. The odds seem low.
    Fig: I think that your dad is gonna come to visit you in, like, a vision at some point, ‘cause that’s what happened with me.
    Daybreak: That’s…That might be true, but that’s an irresponsible thing to tell and adopted child.
    Fig: I think that.
    Gorgug: I just gotta knock myself out.
    Kristen: Noo, no, don’t listen to Fig.
    Daybreak: All right! Everyone go home! All go home. (the party laughs)
• When Sandra Lynn Faeth shows up on her giant griffon to take Fig home, she asks if she’s okay. Fig responds that she fought valiantly and was part of the fight, and this time, Sandra Lynn believes her. Then Fig, being Fig, decides to ruin the touching reunion:
  Fig: By the way, I know that dad drove a motorcycle.
  Brennan: She blanches completely white in the face.
  Fig: And I just wanna say, in terms of choosing men, that’s pretty metal.
  Brennan: She—smiles a little sort of half-embarrassed smile. You guys get on the griffon, take off.
• According to her mom, Adaine's dad wants her to get into the car...and doesn't want to step out of the car "and be seen here."
  Adaine: I don't have to have him step out for me to get into the car. I'm not an idiot.
  Arianwen: He wanted to let you know that he wasn't going to step out.
  Adaine: Oh really? Oh really? How very mature.
  Arianwen: I don't think that this is a proper time for you to be chastising your mother. You are, first of all, sleeveless. And second of all, I understand that you defended yourself with your...martial prowess?
  Adaine: I say nothing to them for the rest of the night.
  • As the Abernants approach home in their car:
    Angwyn: (inhales sharply) I never though I would have a daughter...that would receive detention. (leaves the car and enters the house)
    Adaine: (internally) THAT'S the thing he's mad about? I killed a woman with a ladle and he's mad that I got detention. My parents suck so much!
    Fig: I know. I kinda wanna fuck up your parents.
    Adaine: I really do too.
• While trying to process the fight, Fabian asks his father about the first time he saw someone die. The story he gets isn’t quite what he was looking for:
  Bill Seacaster: The first time I saw someone die, it was me father. He was lying in his deathbed, and I had a dagger, up under his ribs, in his heart. I looked him in his eyes, and I said “You’ll never speak to me out of the side of your mouth again.” And then, Mama took me back to first grade.
  Fabian: Um. Uh. Right, in that ca-
  Bill Seacaster: Is that relatable to your experience?
• Fabian, Fig, and Riz (hiding in Fabian's backpack) are talking with Penelope to try and get information out of her regarding what's going on around the school. The topic drifts to the missing girls, and Penelope mentions Penny, the girl Riz has been looking for. At which point, Riz vomits inside Fabian's backpack, and Fabian tries to save face by throwing his backpack for Gorgug, who's waiting in the parking lot, to catch. Instead, Fabian ends up chucking the backpack into a nearby car, destroying it and causing Riz to take six points of damage. Gorgug then grabs the backpack and runs off with it, all while Penelope watches. To top it all off, after they escape, Riz crawls out of the backpack, bites half of Gorgug's shirt off, and wears it as a toga.
• Kristen wants to give a pep talk before the party goes to investigate the Greaser Garage. It goes from your usual Rousing Speech to a meandering monologue about Kristen's current existential crisis of faith:
  Kristen: Wait- you guys! Listen to me! [to Brennan] Can I do "Inspiring Speech"?
  Brennan: Absolutely. Go ahead and take it away.
  Kristen: Alright. We're prolly gonna have to go in there and encounter what we already did. Which is-
  Gorgug: Corn cuties?
  Kristen: Corn cuties... I- worship the corn. And yesterday I had to see it's perverted, upside-down
  Gorgug: It's gonna get inspiring.
  Fig: Yeah, I know.
  Kristen: Uhhh, it's really hard-
  Fig: I mean she's standing on the table.
  Kristen: And it was very confronting. Yeah sure, my whole thing is praising Helio. Who is a corn. Yeah, sure yesterday, maybe because my bible went into the corn it went evil. Okay? I have a lot of questions. Not a lot of answers.
• The Bad Kids see Johnny Spells and a bunch of other greasers head into a garage, and ask a nearby waitress about the gang. She explains that they're dangerous, because every time another gang comes around, they dance at each other. The Bad Kids fail to see how that's dangerous while the waitress explains that bursting into dance spontaneously is unrealistic, and that they must spend a lot of time practicing their routine. When the Bad Kids sneak into the garage, the first thing they hear is the greaser gang practicing their dance routine.

Episode 4: Street Race to the Death

• After the Greaser hits the halfling family and vaults onto the hood of the Bad Kids' stolen car, he has an...interesting choice of words.
  Brennan: He rolled a nat 20. He smashes into the side of the car, motorcycle up, he goes over the hoods and goes,
  Billy Hellmouth: Ooh, daddy, play it cool!
  Brennan: Bam! Lands on the back—
  Kristen: Everyone has a daddy thing in this game!
  Fabian: Everyone has a daddy thing.
• Adaine gains the ability to communicate with the source of her magic, which describes itself as "pure intellect". This leads to amusing moments such as Adaine asking if the process of creating a palimpsest is bad, to which the source of her magic responds "Your moral weight has no effect on me!", and telling Adaine it's not cool to drink and drive when Fig pulls out her flask while driving the hot rod, only to put it back immediately afterwards.
  Adaine: Oh my god, my own mind is so lame!
• Riz decides to put a little extra damage on Johnny Spells with his Fury of the Small ability (having just shot him in the shoulder.) Fig motions to rename it to Fury of the Ball. Fabian and Adaine grant the motion, and Kristen and Gorgug also vote in favor. Fabian considers the motion passed into law. Riz doesn't like it.
• As Fabian stabs him in the chin, Billy Hellmouth doesn't waste his final breath:
  Billy Hellmouth: Ooh, daddy!
  Fabian: Don't call me daddy.
  Billy Hellmouth: My last words were daddy.
  Kristen: This should have you rethink your papa, okay?
  Fabian: No, I'm not, I love my papa, all right?
  Kristen: No, you can't-
  Fabian: I love my papa, all right?
• Fabian's newly acquired hell cycle is a little out of tone with his new owner:
  Hellcycle: Master... together we will conquer this world of mortals... and send their souls to Hell.
  Fabian: Yes, yes- in due time, Bike. Now, to the ice cream shop.

Episode 5: The Pixie and the Mosh Pit

• Fabian expresses disbelief at the idea of a girl being trapped inside a crystal palimpsest.
  Adaine: You're saying that as if we don't live in a world where magic is real.
• The Cubbys, a nice, WASPy group of halflings reveal themselves to be anarcho-communists, much to the surprise of the group, expressing distrust of the police and advocating direct action against them, much to Riz's chagrin.
  Bud Cubby: Now I'm not advocatin' that you kill a cop, alright? I'm not sayin' you put a pig down.
  Riz: My mother is a cop, good sir!
  Bud: Alright, well...y'know...
• The entire scene with the AV club is full of comedy, from Adaine resisting the urge to cast Ray of Sickness on Biz as he hits on her (preceded by a literal "No. Just… No" Reaction), to Fabian making awkward small talk full of stuttering with Skrank and Shellford as he's left alone with them. Small talk that starts with Fabian asking Skrank (a bird person) "So... Do you eat worms?"
  • Adaine gives Biz a bit of Brutal Honesty regarding his Dogged Nice Guy tendencies, which Emily sums up perfectly.
    Emily: It's like Siobhan didn't say "Vicious Mockery", but I think she's casting Vicious Mockery.
• Because of Fabian's father's thick accent, the players mishear his ship's name as "the Hymen" instead of the "the Hangman." The players then joke since Fabian wants to paint his hell cycle red and name it after the ship, it will be called "the Red Hymen."
• When Kristen tries to shake Tracker's hand, she kisses her hand. Kristen's reaction? To helpfully inform her that she now has some dry-erase ink on her lips.
  • This:
    Tracker: Um, this is crazy, do you wanna like, grab a drink here? Doesn't have to be alcoholic, and like, go, just like talk somewhere?
    Kristen: Of course, I'm always down to talk to a new person, uh...about God.
    Tracker: We could talk about God, or like, each other.
    Kristen: Oh cool, yeah, God is in us all.
  • Even better? The above happens because Kristen rolled a nat one on her insight check about Tracker.
  • Apparently, Kristen is supposed to pray for four hours every Tuesday night.
  • The timing of Tracker's transformation makes it seem like Kristen was such a bad kisser that Tracker turned into a werewolf out of embarassment.

Episode 6: Brawl at the Zombie Bar

• Riz uses Insightful Fighting to deal a catastrophic amount of damage to DJ Brainz, then this happens.
  Riz: I look at Fabian to see if he's impressed while I do it.
  Fabian: [without missing a beat] I'm not.
• At the very end of the episode, the Bad Kids take refuge at Fabian's house, and meet his parents. Fig plays a sea shanty on her bass, and does so well, not only does Bill love it and join in singing, pirates suddenly swing in on ropes and pop out of barrels and join in. Fabian's reaction indicates this happens all the time.
  Bill: I pay him to stay here in case this happens, and he'll stay in the barrel until it does! YOU STAY IN THE BARREL UNTIL THE MUSIC HAPPENS!
  [The pirate who popped out of the barrel claps his hands in rhythm to the shanty, silently weeping.]
  Fig: I feel like I need to play for eternity so he doesn't have to go back in the barrel!

Episode 7: The Graveyard of Good and Evil

• Bill Seacaster showing his Chaotic Neutral traits with one memeable line.
  Bill: The fascinating thing about laws is that they are a fiction, invented by the weak to annoy and harass the powerful.
• Bill Seacaster, in all his chaotic glory, has kept the teens up all night after the club battle with sea shanties and partying. The next morning, over omelets, he gives them some life advice:
  Bill: There are two kinds of men in this world.
  Fig: [cough] Andwomen.
  Bill: What?
  Fig: [cough] Andwomen.
  Bill: ...that's on me. Hold on - that's on me. There are two kinds of people in this world.
  Fig: Thank you. [cough] Thankyou.
  Bill: No, no, it's alright. And thank you for correcting me. I'm an old dog but I can learn new tricks. And I speak in a little bit of an archaic vernacular. I appreciate you having the courage to check me on something, that was honestly not alright.
  Fig: We—
  Bill: AND IF YE SPEAK AGAIN OUT OF TURN, I'LL SLIT YE LIKE A FISH!
  Fabian: Papa!
• Fig goes to her step-father's apartment to get him to apply for a job at the school, and casts Detect Thoughts as he replies about possible jobs he had lined up - she immediately regrets doing so, as he critically failed his save against it.
  Brennan: The flash across his head is him saying "Last night, I couldn't sleep, so I tried to jerk off but was too sad to, and stayed up all night eating yogurt."
  • Made even worse when Gilear actually applies to the job, noting an extensive history of counseling...only to find that the job was just given to Jawbone, the bouncer that the Bad Kids befriended.
  Jawbone: Gil, it's nice to meet you. My name is Jawbone. I used to deal drugs out of a nightclub, and now I'm the guidance counselor here.
• Everything about the sexy rat.
  • When she summons it, Brennan actually demands the real human player Emily to describe to the group what exactly a sexy rat looks like. The descriptions starts with "a very wet nose" and only gets worse from there.
  • The Dimension 20 wiki has an entire page dedicated to it. The usually practical and useful descriptions found on other pages are replaced by fear and disgust, all of which is good for a laugh.
    Why was a monstrosity such as this born? What evil created it?

    There is no God. Fig Faeth has destroyed the order of the world. She has created a sin. For this obscenity, she will be cursed to the deepest pits of Hell never to escape the punishment of the gods
  • Even funnier as Kristen and Riz are somewhat attracted to the rat. So when an owl dives out from the sky and takes the rat away, Riz attempts to shoot at the owl to save the rat while Fabian screams at him to stop and intervenes.
    Fabian: That owl is doing the entire world a fucking service!
  • Brennan's comments on the whole thing.
    Brennan, to Emily: I try not to judge your character choices, but that sucks.
• Gorgug asks Kristen for another "Inspiring Speech." Once again, the speech is more of an existential crisis than a Rousing Speech.
  Gorgug: [turning to Fig] It's gonna get inspiring soon...
  [Emily cracks up laughing]
  • Kristen admitting midway through the speech that she masturbated with an ear of corn, to the shock and disgust of the other party members.
  • All the other characters are inspired... by the fact that they have their shit relatively together by comparison.
• The party encounters a group of dwarven skaters and are trying to explain why they're randomly at an abandoned mithril foundry:
  Adaine: We just heard you were really cool.
  Fig: Yeah, we're just fellow lovers of speed...
  Adaine: And like fans, we're fans...
  Kristen: -We're thinking about starting a street wear company. And we wanted like real people to model for it.
  Fig: That's a really big leap, but I'm right there with you.
  Kristen: I'm just- I'm a new me, and I'm just BIG LIES coming out of my mouth.
  Torek: You're startin a street wear company?
  Fabian: Well, fellows, it's not that simple. I mean, we're trying to understand the culture of the street, that we might then base wear upon it.
  Adaine: Fabian is the money.
  Fabian: Yes, I'm the money.
• Ally describing the Gorgug/Zelda dynamic as "like Michael Cera talking to Michael Cera."

Episode 9: Dishing With A Demon

• Kristen once again attempts an inspiring speech...
  Kristen: Guys, I'm not gonna mince words: there's no God.
  Gorgug: It's gonna get better- It's gonna get inspiring real soon.

• The entire scene with Fig pretending to be a doctor to get to Biz's hospital room. To sum things up, she and Riz manage to bluff their way through a very serious surgery thanks to a series of lucky rolls, Fig gains access to the hospital's liqour cabinet, and she kisses a doctor who's apparently in love with "Dr. Keller", the doctor Fig is pretending to be. The entire scene following the surgery plays out like a cheesy medical drama, complete with a melodramatic piano piece in the background, and it's beautiful.
  Fig: I'd like to stop by the liquor cabinet, but on our way, I heard a young kid got brought in here and well, I know I'm on my 36th hour, but I'd like to take a look at him.
  Unnamed Doctor: God damn it, Doctor! You do too much! You're gonna kill yourself!
  Fig: I love this job!
  Unnamed Doctor: [wipes a tear away and rushes off dramatically]
  Dr. Asha (named Dr. Mcdreamy in this sequence): You're tearin' this hospital apaaaaaaaaaaaaart!
  Fig: Well, you know what? Maybe it needs to be torn apart so we can build it back up right!
  Dr. Asha: I never shoulda kissed you.
  Fig: I kiss him.
  [entire table bursts out into laughter]
  GM: Fig goes in, this dwarf gives you the most tense, beautiful, passionate kiss in response.
  Dr. Asha: You're a maniac. And this hospital would be nothing without you.
  Fig: Or was that the most sane thing I've done all night?
  Dr. Asha: You know, I spend all this time saving other people's lives, seems that we can never really save our own. Anyway, the kid's in 113.

Episode 10: Battle of the Bloodrush Brethren

• Fabian executes a pretty awesome move that involves dunking a ball into a treasure chest, proving to Coach Daybreak that he should be on the Bloodrush team. Fabian turns around, flips him off, and then drops his dignified upper-class persona to rub it in his face.
  Brennan You turn around and do what to the coach?
  Fabian: Fuckin' straight up, like, "WHAT'S GOOD?!" Like, all of the fance and kind of air I care about is gone in this moment of just pure, "FUCK! YOU! DOG! WOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOO! [mimes shadow boxing] WOOOOOOOO!"

Episode 11: Cool Kids, Cold Case

• While eating dinner at Sklonda's apartment, she admonishes the Bad Kids to try to avoid killing any more teachers. They quickly point out, however, that Arthur killed Mr. Gibbons and himself, Daybreak was a coach, and Doreen was a lunchlady.
  Sklonda: Well...I suppose you haven't killed any academic faculty.

• At the same dinner, Fig decided to bring Gilear along. Sklonda mentions needing an elf diplomat to talk to Angwyn, and Fig quickly mentions that she happens to know an elf who's an expert diplomat.
  Gilear: This yogurt...tastes just like potatoes.

• During their downtime Kristen ends up attending multiple very gay events with Tracker but consistently hides in the bathroom for most of them and then leaves early.

• After purchasing her makeover clothes, Adaine discovers the "Jean Jacket of Useful Things" formerly belonged to an archmage. When she asks to pull out the last thing they placed in the coat... a note comes out saying, "I'm hiding in the jacket, please don't pull me out." Adaine then asks how many people are hiding in there, and whether they can be safely removed?
  The Identify Spell: Ah yes, the question of whether the beings in the jacket will live a half-life if they didn't originate from the jacket. A question as old as time itself.
  Kristen: Is it?
  The Identify Spell: No. The jacket of course can only produce objects worth a pittance. Expensive items, jewels and that sort cannot be produced. It's just useful things that jacket produces. The creatures taking refuge in the jacket are various refugees, criminals, and hideaways that live in a city at the center of the extra-dimensional space within the jacket. They live complex lives, form relationships, nations rise and fall, and they have no way of exiting the jacket. It's more of a thought experiment, really, and has no ability to interfere with you living your life. Just sort of a mindfuck for you to walk around with.
  • The 'half-life' mentioned is part of an earlier conversation where Fig wanted to get a pet from the coat but was told by the owner that any such summoned creature would exist in terrible agony and try to kill itself as soon as possible. Fig then wants to get an oyster because they don't have a nervous system and won't feel pain.
    • Fabian then points out that it's possible the oyster will still want to kill itself but won't be able to because of its inability to move itself. He is ignored.
    • Without water the oyster promptly dies in Fig's pocket and none of the other Bad Kids are brave enough to tell her. It takes a few weeks later with a conversation with her father before she learns of it.

• Upon arriving at a party the rest of the Bad Kids (minus Adaine) meets a truly insane party goer. She enters the party with a squadron of cheerleaders, knocks out the host with a liquor bottle, and proposes a game where someone is invisible and everyone else has to try and stab them.
  • Fabian of course is quite impressed and manages to get a kiss from this newcomer.
  • A successful insight check reveals the person Fabian kissed is Aelwyn, Adaine's sister!

• Meanwhile back at her home busy at research Adaine notices the Bad Kids' many posts showing the antics of her sister at this party. Many of them from Gorgug.
  • Deciding to leave the confront her sister, Adaine quickly shows her parents what Aelwyn is doing behind their backs.
  Angwyn: Now, now, I am sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for this.

Episode 12: The Sisterly Showdown

• A recurring element is Adaine and Aelwyn arguing with one another and boasting how doomed the other one is during their battle. Despite the context it's very similar to actual arguments people have with their siblings as children.
• Gorgug gets a Nat 1 on his Insight to find the source of the noises at the start of the battle. Brennan narrates that it briefly occurs to him that maybe, just maybe, he is his own dad.
• Kristen casts Spirit Guardians during the battle. Since Kristen doesn't currently follow a god, Brennan rules that the spell summons a group of philosophers from her book about world religions to aid them.
  Philosophers: We think, therefore you DIE!
• Midway through the battle, Fabian mistakenly believes the fight is happening outside and goes full throttle to help, only realizing otherwise when he's already outside the building.
  • Made worse when Fabian is knocked unconscious before he can even get inside the building again, leaving his unconscious body dangling on his motorcycle as it goes to enter the battle itself.
• After Fig charms one elemental to throw a fire elemental into a pool of water...
  Fig: Dunk him. Dunk him. Dunk him.
  Adaine: Dunk her. Dunk her.
  Everyone else: Dunk her! Dunk her! Dunk her!
  All: Dun-kirk! Dun-kirk! Dun-kirk!
  Brennan: Dunkirk???
  Siobhan: We just really like Christopher Nolan.
  Murph: Great film.
• Fabian wrestling with Aelwyn, who thinks he's hitting on her. He corrects her, but is clearly not against the idea.
• Fig on fire and jumping up to the window. Then falling out of view before managing to climb back up.
• Adaine manages to successfully cast Tasha's Hideous Laughter on Aelwyn, causing her to snort that the spell would never work on her as she breaks into laughter. Adaine triumphantly and smugly holds up a double bird for her sister to see.

Episode 13: First Kisses and Last Words

• Adaine and the kids try to get Aelwyn to tell them where she got the palimpsest from, but she refuses and says it'd be easier to just kill her. Adaine suggests a worse fate.
  Adaine: We won't kill you, we'll just send you to Mumple. Which is much worse.
  Aelwyn: (horrified) You can't send me to Mumple!!
  Adaine: I think we even have a uniform in your size. (motions to Kristen)
  Aelwn: Alright! Alright! I'll tell you!!
• When discussing how to prevent Aelwyn from doing more magic:
  Adaine: I think first of all we need to make sure that Aelwyn cannot do anymore magic.
  Aelwyn: (cackling uncontrollably under the effect of Tasha's Hideous Laughter)
  Adaine: So, uh, I would like to-
  Kristen: I have hold person!
  Adaine: Take a sock and shove it into her mouth!
  Kristen: Cool, we could do that too.
• Fabian looks to the police car where Aelwyn is being held. She winks and seductively licks her lips. Fabian is bashful while Adaine is horrified.
• The kids are in Fabian's room discussing how to chase down some leads.
  Riz: Do you have like a dope computer?
  Fabian: Of course. I've got multiple dope computers. What- I mean, what do you want? I have- I've literally bought anything I've ever wanted.
  Brennan: *bloo-bloop* A whole wall lights up. Avast. Hello, Fabian.
  Fabian: Good to see you, Computer.
• Riz makes use of Fabian's computer to research a suspicious bank and the game goes all the way off the rails.
  Riz: Can you, uh, do a Fantasy Google check on-
  [Lou laughs]
  Riz: On KVX Investments. KVX Bank, special investments?
  Fabian's Computer: *BYOOO* *WUB WUB WUB* [Brennan spins his finger like a loading icon] "Sixteen men on a dead man's ship..."
  Emily: [laughing] Oh my god...
  Brennan: You go to KVX's home page. It's a large, private bank.
  Zac: Do they have like a Mission Statement on their website or something?
  Emily: Ooooh yea, let's get into the depths... let's get into the ABOUT page.
  Brennan: You go to the About section- Who ever thought a game of D&D would ever get to the About section of a bank's website?
• It goes even more off the rails when Fabian's computer shows his recent porn searches. Fabian, immediately horrified, screams for his computer to stop as a pirate themed porn video plays loudly.
  • The best part about this is that Brennan, as the DM, gleefully acts out the pirate themed porn, including moans and piratey "yar har har"s.
• While Gorgug and Zelda are on their cute date, Fig pulls out her bass and begins playing a sad song on it like a violin, causing Riz to sob "FATHER!!!!" from across the ice cream shop.
  • Preceding this is Gorgug actually asking her out, but he's the Socially Awkward Hero and she's a Shrinking Violet, making their Twice Shy behavior a goldmine of cringe comedy. He tries to be casual about it, and fails utterly. However, she's so smitten with him that his asking her to get ice cream causes her to drop her phone in the toilet in shock, tell him as much, and then try to do a Verbal Backspace while texting.
• As Gorgug is asking Zelda important questions related to the mystery of disappearing girls:
  Gorgug: Ok, cool. Um, what kinda music do you like?
  Zelda: Um, I like a lot of different stuff. Like, I like Screamo, I like Emo, I like um, Punk. And, like, some Pop Punk. I like Metal, I like Rage Metal. I like Death Metal. I like Scream Metal. Um, I like Mad Metal, I like Hate Metal. Um, I like, um, Mad Metal, Crazy Metal.
  Gorgug: Uh-huh.
  Zelda: I like Thrash Metal. Smash Metal- some of it's good, I like the older stuff.
  [Ally puts their face in their hands, Emily laughs]
  Zelda: I like Slice Metal... is good. Um, I like Chop Metal... is good.
  Emily: I throw something at Gorgug.
  Gorgug: Ow.
  Zelda: How about you? What are- What kinda stuff are you into?
  Gorgug: The same- same stuff.
  [the whole table cracks up]
• Riz asks Gilear an inappropriate question.
  Fig: Gilear, where's Gorthalax? When's the last time you talked to him?
  Gilear: I talked to him earlier today, he went to go have a talk with with your mother for the first time.
  Fig: Ulllggg. Oh dear. Okay, cool!
  Gilear: They're probably, I don't know, boning down on each other right now.
  Adaine: [makes a disgusted sound]
  Riz: Speaking of boning down, have you seen my mother, lately?
  Gilear: What the fuck?
• As Riz is investigating his mom's desk, and Edgar the rat seems to find something behind the desk.
  Brennan: You move your mom's desk. You feel a little bit of air coming out of the wall. You push... and the wall of the apartment opens up.
  Riz: Ohhh, we are not getting our security deposit back...
  [Brennan lets out a burst of laughter.]

Episode 14: Arcade Ambush!

• The gang keep rolling badly on their perception for the arcade prize case which forces Brennan to keep rephrasing the exact same explanation, ending with the Captain Obvious answer: "The cases have prizes in them. It's a series of objects."
• Trapped in a video game, Fabian does the impossible and rolls a Nat 20 to beat the game's own Nat 20, causing all the players to freak the fuck out.
  Ally: [flipping off Brennan's dice] FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!
  Murph: SUCK MY DICK!
• The entire interrogation sequence between the Bad Kids and Biz Glitterdew, which is the perfect blend between Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique and Comedic Sociopathy. To make things better is Lou's hilarious lampshading over the whole ordeal.
  Lou: Guys, we turned into real bullies.
  • Just as funny are Biz's own words on his treatment.
    Biz: This is a war crime.
    • And then once they realize that he'd been a brainwashed patsy, they immediately try to repair some of the damage they did.

Episode 15: Family in Flames

• After acquiring the magical item loot from the arcade fight, six items total (how convenient!), Adaine casts the Identify spell to tell the characters what they just gained...
  Adaine: I mean- I'll bite, I'll cast an identify spell on this shit.
  Identify Spell: Ho baby! Six items. This will be a heavy lift for, the Identify Spell.
• Bill Seacaster briefly shows up at the jail to talk with Fabian. And, of course, a bad roll leads to Gorgug thinking Bill is his dad.
  Fabian: We are not brothers.
  Gorgug: We could be twins...
  Bill: (Both astonished and excited) Twins from two different wombs? Leave it to ol' Bill Seacaster to sire twins in two different women!
• Agent Worrell is basically Brennan channelling his CEO characters from the CollegeHumor CEO shorts.
  Worrell: I don't know what the fuck is going on in this town. I get a sheet a couple of days ago that a man's car was stolen, and he was shot in the back of the head with a crossbow in broad daylight, and that a coach was murdered in the middle of the field, trespassing.
  Riz: There was a demon portal there too, right?
  Adaine: Yeah, he was attacking us.
  Riz: You remember the demon portal that was there?
  Fig: It's a little unprofessional to be this emotional at work.
  Worrell: Oh, I'm sorry, there was a demon portal, that's how laws work, right? That's how you want a civilization?
  Riz: Do you want the apocalypse to happen?
  Worrell: You can't murder people!
  • Worrell gets another funny moment later when Fig casts suggestion on the guard at the police station to convince him she's working for the feds:
    Worrell: God damn it, no, she doesn't work for us, she's in the cell! What is wrong w- what is actually wrong? Someone explain to me in a way that I can understand how this happened!
• Bud Cubby returns and acts on the anarcho-communist beliefs he espoused in Episode 5, to hilarious results. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome, in a fucked-up way.
  Bud: Listen, here's the thing, I don't know what you kids are up to, but I do know one thing, laws are threats made by the dominant socioeconomic ethnic group in a given nation. It's just a promise of violence that's enacted, and police are basically an occupying army, you know what I mean? You guys wanna make some bacon?
  GM: He pulls a mask over his face, pulls a lit Molotov cocktail out of his mail bag and WHOO! PFFFSCCCHHH!
  Adaine: That was on fire the whole time?!
  Bud: The whole time, kiddo!
  Adaine: You're so brave!
  • Riz immediately points out that his mom works there, so he'd appreciate their not killing anyone.
• Adaine and Kristen can't decide between fleeing to their parents and investigating the gym. They split the difference by calling an Uber. And then role-play calling an Uber.
  Kristen Rudolfo will be here in two minutes in a Honda Civic!
• After a tense scene fighting his way up the apartment building, Riz finds out that Gilear and Sklonda are okay.
  Gilear: [holding a chair leg] I...hit someone across the head with this. I have never struck another being in anger before. I...I didn't fully relieve myself, but a little came out.
  Riz: That's okay, Gilear, you did great.
  Gilear: I am so sad and scared.
• Even while dying, Bill Seacaster makes jokes about how much of a Sex God he is.

Episode 16: Prompocalypse (Part 1)

• Brennan momentarily forgets an important plot detail.
  Brennan: That is going to be...Dayne!
  Zac: Who's dead, right?
  Brennan: ...who is dead as a doornail.
  [Zac makes an Aside Glance]
  Brennan: Uh. Sometimes you make a villain and they die in the first two rounds. Did you guys know that?
• Fabian, a tall, broad-shouldered athlete, clocks Penelope, a 5'2" prom queen across the jaw, effortlessly knocking her to the ground, and Brennan makes it clear that "nobody feels great about what they just saw" - even Kalvaxus reacts with "Jesus Christ!"
• Kalvaxus formally unveils himself to the party:
  Kalvaxus: The Emperor of the Red Waste has returned!!! The time is now for a new age of fire and conquest and money money money! For me! Rich once more! I am the trustee and I shall pay my dividends to myself...!
  Fig: ...that's a lofty metaphor, dude...
• All of the students flee the prom as soon as Kalvaxus unveils himself, except for one student who just keeps raiding the snack table even as a dragon destroys the gym.
  • The group later tries to cajole Brennan into having Kalvaxus attack just that student with his fire breath.
• Kalvaxus attacks both Kristen and Ragh, the two openly gay characters that are present, leading Kristen and the other party members to call him a homophobe.
  • Even funnier is the fact that Kalvaxus holds off on his attack to insist that he is "socially liberal and fiscally conservative" and "a libertarian," to which the party members react with groans and shouts of "Bullshit!"
• Brennan asks Gorgug to make another Insight check... leading to a result of 4:
  [Brennan gathers himself]
  Zac: Goddammit...
  Lou: No.... No....
  GM: It's all... been leading... to this moment. The pieces, all fall into place. Numbers, moments, memories. "You shouldn't give him your flower. He doesn't deserve to be your friend." What a caring thing to say. The exact kind of thing that... a father... would say to his son. That's why he wasn't there. Your father has been the villain this whole time.
  Gorgug: ...Of course.
  GM: It is the story of The Hero's Journey. You must defeat your father. In combat. You must lay low he who casts darkness and doubt over your life. Gorgug... This... is your dad.
  Gorgug: ...Father, stop this!
  Kalvaxus: What?
  Gorgug: Quit it, dad!
  Kalvaxus: What? What are you talking about?
  Gorgug: You've turned- my da- uhh... You're my da-
  Kalvaxus: This is exactly what I'm talking about! The last time I reigned, they sent the Queen and her best heroes! I get the fucking- the B SQUAD??? I get the Loser Patrol??? Give me a break!!!
  • This sets off a chain of Kalvaxus telling each teen the reason they suck:
    Kalvaxus: You got this kid who's completely confused and clumsy.
    Kristen: Wha- I don't-
    Kalvaxus: No idea what the fuck is going on. The only thing special about you is that some god decided you were special, RANDOMLY.
    Kristen: mmm, no...
    Kalvaxus: [looks at Adaine] We got this kid, who- I can see from you shaking in your boots right now, you're not clever enough for the library, and you're not brave enough for the world. [looks at Fabian] This kid, you! Your father is more man than you'll ever be and I'll tell you what else, you will only ever be a pale, soft reflection of him. [looks at Fig] And then, this kid... So unlovable that your own father would rather go to Hell than stay with you...
    Fig: Could you please stop flirting with me? It is so predictable... [entire table starts laughing]
    Kalvaxus: Young lady...
    Fig: You might have a jail cell waiting for you... [fans herself]
    Kalvaxus: I- My god-
    Fig: Also, no offense- I kind of am seeing someone.
    Kalvaxus: I am a full. grown. DRAGON. I'm not going to- I'm going to eat you.
    Fig: Ohoho my god!
    Kalvaxus: Nononono, you're making this sexual-
    Fig: I'm not ready for that!
    Kalvaxus: RROOOOOOAAARR! YOU’RE MAKING THIS SEXUAL!!! WE DO NOT HAVE A THING!!!
    [Beat]
    Kalvaxus: This kid thinks I'm his fucking dad-
    Gorgug: Are you!?
    Kalvaxus: Idiot! Freak! Loser! And a ball. And I'll tell you-
    Riz: THE Ball, bitch!
• Emily messes with Brennan's head after Gorgug misses two attacks on Kalvaxus due to a bad roll and Kalvaxus's huge armor class.
  Emily: But he's not wearing any armor, though.
  Brennan: [eyes bulge, looking from Emily to the giant dragon mini on the board]
  [the other players crack up]
  Emily: I'm just kidding.
  Brennan: [putting on a wheedling, nerdy voice] Emily, I sometimes can't tell when you're really fucking with me or not, okay? It's so hard to remember all the rules. It's so hard!
• Jawbone's speech about how having panic attacks doesn't define someone devolves into a rambling metaphor about him performing sexual favors on a border patrol agent in order to smuggle a drug-stuffed chicken to his friend who owns a cockfighting ring.
• Kalvaxus tries to intimidate Adaine again.
  Kalvaxus: What are you doing back here? You were running away, terrified!
  Adaine: [silently flips him off]
  Kalvaxus: Oh, very mature. Aren't you supposed to be some kind of highfalutin elf?
  Adaine: [Beat] I'm a child.
• Gorgug attacks Penelope with a firebomb.
  Penelope: My fucking dress! You've ruined prom, what is wrong with you?!
  Gorgug: I've ruined prom?!

Episode 17: Prompocalypse (Part 2)

• Aguefort's monologue about knocking Sol unconscious has him slamming a rail of coke off the back of his hand halfway through without missing a beat.
• After Kristen expresses doubt in the new deity she created to replace Sol, a floating YES! that is basically the embodiment of clickbait:
  Aguefort: You've created a new deity and already you're fed up with it. I would say that's par for the course.
• Aguefort relates some critical information as he and Kristen return from Heaven:
  Aguefort: Listen to me, remember: you have all the time you need. Alright? We can save your friends... Remember, Kristen, the greatest magic of all... Do you remember?
  Kristen: Is... Friendship...
  Aguefort: ...what the fuck is wrong with you?
  Kristen: The greatest magic of all... This winter at Disneyland?
  Aguefort: Friendship??? Are you-? Friends die ALL the time!
  Kristen: The greatest magic of all is- the Devil, making us believe he doesn't exist!
  Aguefort: NO! That's a saying! Listen to me! ...friendship, fuck...
  Kristen: OK, what's the answer, cokehead???
  Aguefort: CHRONOMANCY. As I said, at your first day!
• Lou's reaction (out of character) to learning that Arthur Aguefort is black: "Hell yes. My brother!"
• Kristen summons her Spirit Guardians after creating a new deity to worship:
  GM: Is it the philosophers still or is it something new now?
  Kristen: It's the big, BuzzFeed, LOL YES!
  GM: You see just a bunch of YES, YES, YES. And you see WOW, YES, COOL, RIGHT ON, RAD, THAT'S IT.
  Kristen: Hahaha nooo! The other ones are so much better! Can there be like a couple remaining philosophers?
  GM: Uh sure, you see that a bunch of the philosophers appear in a little *BWOOP* that says, "15 Best Philosophy Quotes You've Never Heard Of"
  Kristen: NOOOOOOOOO! NO!
  GM: This is the god you made.
  Kristen: I was under pressure, okay? ...Oh no, I made an Internet God...
• Once Kalvaxus is dead, Riz rips a piece of flesh off of his head and begins eating it. The party reacts with disgust, and then Sklonda jumps onto Kalvaxus as well and begins doing the same thing.
  Riz: I don't know how long it's gonna take me, but I'm gonna eat you, bitch!
  Sklonda: Kiddo, we're not gonna need to go shopping tonight!
• Throughout the entire fight, Murph has been rolling for the police to show up, and failed every time, even as the window for success gets wider. At the very end of the fight, when Kalvaxus is already dead, he decides to roll one more time for the hell of it. It's a DC 12 at this point, and he has Bardic Inspiration (plus 1d6 to his roll) and Bless (plus 1d4). He rolls all of his dice... And still fails.
  Murph: If I fail this, I'm just gonna go home.
  [fails the throw]
  Murph: I'm not leaving, I don't care.
  • Brennan has him roll one last time, and he finally succeeds on the throw. The cops come rushing in to assist, but upon learning that none of them are clerics, Riz proclaims they would've been useless anyway. One of the cops then comments on how all the Bad Kids should be in jail, so Gorgug slaps him, causing him to run out crying. Fabian then slaps another one, to the same result.
• After defeating Kalvaxus and dealing with the aftermath:
  Zac: Can I make an Insight check on Arthur Aguefort?
  GM: Uh... Yeah, go for it.
  Zac: ...I got a five.
  GM: A five? [knowing what's coming] sigh... Fuck it, dude, it's worth asking.
  Gorgug: Arthur... I'm just gonna ask...
  Adaine: [whispers] Professor Aguefort...
  Gorgug: Professor Aguefort, are you my dad?
  Aguefort: Hmph... [chuckles] I was about to ask you the very same thing.
  Gorgug: What?
  Aguefort: Moving on.
• After discovering the prophecy they thought they understood was interpreted wrong:
  Adaine: So my power is bullshit?
  Aguefort: Everything in this world is bullshit, Miss Abernant. But understanding how is key.
  Riz: ....so is the sun like a ''YES'' now?
  Aguefort: Maybe. It's nighttime now, we'll find out tomorrow morning.
• During the Dénouement, Fabian decides to take Dayne's hand as a trophy - Riz immediately suggests also taking his eye, offering to cut it out for Fabian.
  Aguefort: [Laughing] Yes! Violent, deranged lunatics - exactly the thing this school was meant to produce. There is only one way to make a difference in this world - and that is to freak the fuck out all the time, and just fuck shit right up.
• Gorgug finally finds his dad - and it turns out they have a Strong Family Resemblance, as Gorbag had also asked about a half-dozen people that day if they were his son.
• The tornado that was a part of Bill's crew shows up for his funeral, and has a conversation with Fabian.

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• The excuse for Fabian's absence is that he's settling debts with ghosts on his father's behalf
• Fig asks Gilear to attend the rager, which he agrees too on the condition that he's disguised for it, because he's afraid it's possible for him to be mocked so bad he dies. Fig admits that she's been concerned about that too.
  • When Gilear shows up he does so disguised as Fabian, and is described as being "the least cool Fabian's ever looked."
  • Throughout the show, Gilear-as-Fabian keeps referring to himself as Riz's sidekick and does as he says, something Riz is ecstatic to make sure everyone hears.
• Gorgug's "conversation" with Cody, who is a full kodiak bear.
  Cody: *prolonged series of bear noises while Brennan gestures like he's saying something profound, then in a totally ordinary human voice* You know what I mean?
  Gorgug: I mean when you put it like that, there's no simpler way.

Escape from the Bloodkeep

Welcome To The Dark Side

• Zaul'nazh is delivering his final speech to his inner circle before the final push to destroy the kingdoms of light. The room goes increasingly red as Brennan's voice grows more and more demonic....right up until his crown is destroyed. Then the lord of shadows loses all gravitas and starts screaming like he saw a mouse.
  Zaul'nazh: WHEN MY CROWN IS RETURNED, ALL THE PEOPLES OF ELNA WILL TURN TO ME AND SAY - hurngh! Fuck! Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! No no nonononononono! Aaaaaaaaaghhhh! (He explodes)
  • Even better: Markus doesn't get what just happened at first.
    Markus: Damn, they gonna say all that? They gonna say all that? Yeah! Yo, we gonna make those people hurt! They gonna be doing all that! Ain't that right, Lord Z?
• The immediate aftermath is hilarious, as the group looks out over the zombie army and see it collapse (powered by Zaul'nazh's power), realize the tower is on the verge of collapse, and they convince Olag that Zaul'nazh has a very special mission for him: to defeat the heroes of Light in a duel, with the promise of allowing him into meetings if he does. Olag then jumps out the window, 800 feet to the ground, impacts, then keeps on running.
  Erika: All of us, our heads are poked out the window.
  Sokhbarr: There goes the dumbest orc in the world.
  Lilith: He has such enthusiasm.
  Efink: Bloody loyalty.
  • The other door guard, Hobbert, simply asks if the Dark Lord has gone for a snack, a lie the party readily goes along with, prompting the troll to hang up a wrought-iron plaque in Black Speech that reads "Snack & Nap".
• The party then goes to the Library of Madness, getting a book of crown lore just before the librarian is hunted down by the books.

Volcano of Violence

• At one point, Mercer makes a joke about the volcano being like "a Mountain of Doom", causing Trapp to warn him about making the comparison.
  • This was on the heels of two major NPC's getting killed by being pulled or flung into the lava in the span of three turns, dealing them both 18d10 - or 112 - points of damage.
• Leiland spends the majority of the battle trying to kill one of the halflings (who's wielding a Frying Pan of Doom), but she's Made of Iron, and Markus finally finishes her off - but promptly gives Leiland credit for it, as Leiland was blinded by his helmet spinning around when he did. Leiland is quite happy until he turns around to see everything else had been dealt with while he was distracted by the halfling.
  Leiland/Mercer: "Tiny one - your friend is safe for now, but we'll hunt them down to the ends of this planet, and you will fall here today." After which I look over my shoulder and see that everyone else is just gone, and be like - "What the fuck?! Where did...! Rrrgh!" and just gonna go ahead and take two strikes.
  • Not helping Leiland's ego is how polite and complimentary the halfling is throughout the fight.
    Galfast: My, but you are a good fighter, sir, and there's no doubt about that!
    Leiland: Could you just be, like, slightly more invested in this aggressive exchange of deathly blows? I want you to fear me!
    Galfast: Well, I want you to be my friend, and there is no doubt about that either, sir.
    Leiland: I really hate everything about you.
• During the combat, Markus had managed to bribe an Eagle into swapping sides - upon their return, and seeing the carnage the party had wreaked on their foes...
  Eagle: ...Shit, okay, well. Looks like I made the right move.

Airship Ambush

• Tavian confronting his treacherous younger brother for siding with the Obviously Evil Zaul'nazh.
  Tavian: You are the most stubborn, stupid little brother that there has ever been, and I am through with it! You sided with a guy called the Lord of Shadows!
  Markus: Yes!
  Maggie: Yaaaay!
  [all of the evil player characters start cheering for Markus]
  Tavian: STOP APPLAUDING!
  • As an added Funny Background Event, Lilith quietly resumes clapping defiantly for a few seconds after Tavian demands that they stop.
• Maggie endeavoring to make a campfire out of the "freak" tree on the ship, so as to roast s'mores on it. Lilith helpfully notes that as a mother, she always has graham crackers!
• Efink struggling to ask J'er'em'ih to give her the helm of the Siren, while a skeptical J'er'em'ih starts randomly inflating part of his head and popping it to let out a swarm of flying insects.
• Old Pickering repeatedly fumbling with firearms and barely reacting to his own mistakes, to the point where he blows his own hand off and starts simply beating goblins to death with the stump.

Bloodlines and Lifelines

• Amy Vorpahl bursting into tears after rolling two nat ones in a row is both this and a Tear Jerker.
  Mike: Truly couldn't get much worse than this.
• John Feathers coaching Maggie through her birthing pains. Also counts as a Heartwarming Moment.
  John Feathers:You're going to have an egg.
• When you know that Brennan's original intent was for the season finale to involve player versus player combat, watching the cast completely miss his efforts to feed their selfish drives becomes hilarious. This is perhaps best exemplified with his hint to Ify, which was clearly intended to remind him of his sunk costs in his quest for power and revenge, and of how close he was to taking his throne — but the hint instead backfires completely when Markus doesn't succumb to the Sunk Cost Fallacy and instead starts considering The Power of Friendship.
  Brennan: Markus. You are plummeting through the wreckage of your ship. You see the bodies of Anne of Killcathery and Bad Henry floating through the air, your brother falling away. You see your treasure scattering to the winds. [...] You know that if Torkellen is fallen, the skyships of your father, like... what will happen to the rest of the Forgotten Fleet, you don't know... and your hearing stone is still gone. That halfling took it. But there is a potential future for you on the throne of Cael Stuppe, if you can make it there from here. ...What's going through Markus's head?
  Ify: Yeah, Markus is floating and, you know, just— this— him being in the air and flying, and him growing up in a sky kindgom, this actually does take him back. [...] And he finally has what he wants — he killed his brother — but, you know, at the cost of Bad Henry and Anne, and he's wondering if that's what he really wanted. [...] Now that he's lost his crew, his ship, and a lot of his treasure, he now knows that if he loses his fellow lieutenants, then he would've lost everything.
• Leiland reflects on his multiple failures as a General, concluding that it was All for Nothing... and then Brennan tells him to roll a Perception check, getting a Nat 20.
  Matt: ...do I happen to see a parachuting Halfling?
  Rekha: One last chance at vengeance!
  Brennan: You do sense a parachuting Halfling.
• The six players (and J'er'em'ih) all engage in a Group Hug upon realising the Power of Friendship, spurring this response from Brennan:
  Brennan: This was supposed to be the evil game! This was the evil one! D&D is too powerful a force for good in the world! Like, wow, working together and being united in social situations really makes me see it that we are all in it together!

The Tomb of Ultimate Evil

• Frod says something to Leiland that Matt’s response boils down to the statement that it was so stupid it could hurt.
  Frod: You... You made a door happen again! You made a door happen without even a door! You disappeared, that's like a... mind door.
  (Beat)
  Matt: ...Do I take psychic damage from that?

The Unsleeping City (Chapter I and Chapter II)

Chapter I

• The Running Gag of Kugrash being a filthy rat getting everything around him dirty.
  • Starting with Misty Moore's immaculately clean apartment.
  • He then gets all of Kingston's mom's cinnamon buns full of Rat hair.

Start Spreading the Word

• Ricky on arriving at the Chantry takes a minute to great the doorknocker with a casual "How's it going frank?"
• When Pete asks Kingston if he can turn him into the cops he says, "What? No. I...We're in a magic room right now!"
• Pete trying to explain how he first got bitten with powers, but the way he says it out loud makes it sound insane.
• Kugrash talking with the animals of New York lead to some real Comic Sociopathy especially with the squirrels stealing keys for no good reason.
• Although shocked awake by a talking rat man, by the time they reach Misty Moore's house, Sophia is gleefully saying "This is where I belong."

Mutant Santa Melee

• Learning from his mistake with the Corn Cuties, Brennan endeavors to pit the party against Eldritch Abomination versions of Santa Claus, making and describing them as disgustingly as he can.
  • Brennan breaking the fourth wall to explicitly address the audience on this point: "For everyone watching at home, the term is corn gremlin."

Pigeon Plus Ones

• Sofia repeatedly offers to let the party stay at her house, each time mentioning something else that would make it desirable - only for the group to rebuff her each time because she lives on Staten Island, which is a ferry-ride away from the rest of New York City and has no subway links, meaning it's practically in New Jersey.
  • Meanwhile, Misty quietly inches away from the conversation because she does NOT want Pete to stay at her luxury apartment.
• After the group splits up for the night, Sofia and Kugrash head to a bar. They’re asked to leave with some free drinks to compensate after one too many complaints about the “hairy baby,” immediately recognize the potential for a scam, and pull the same routine at three more bars.
  • In between, Sofia gives Kugrash a full-body hair treatment. The resulting look is described as “full chinchilla.”
• The Running Gag of Ricky eating something disgusting without blinking an eye.
• Kugrash's exasperated cry of "Do I LOOK LIKE I'M WITH THE COPS??" being a rat man.
• Sophia's disappointment at her inability to attract a pigeon plus one.

Scramble in the Sewers

• After a hit gets Sofia's entire leg up into the Rat King's body:
  Ally: Fuck, don't become his new bride!
  Emily: Oh, I don't know. I've already been rejected by pigeons. If somebody showed me a little bit of love, I might go for it.

The War of Bugs and Rats

• Ally, holding a fireball area marker:
  "I haven't given this back yet 'cause it's so badass." [Proceeds to hold it behind their head like a halo.]
• Pete casts Fear to scare away the demon bugs... and the illusion takes the form of a Facebook post.
  Cockroach Slumlord: [Fails his save] AHHH! Socialist community organizing! RUN!

Borough of Dreams

• Both Ally the player and Pete the player character don't know what an egg cream is,^note A type of milkshake made with milk, flavored syrup and seltzer, with no eggs and no cream leading to Ally miming Pete trying to eat the drink with a knife and fork. This gets Pete roundly mocked by the others, with Kingston telling him to get his knife and fork out of the glass.
• After Misty admits that she stole Titania's shoes and people realize the implication of her latest role:
  Kugrash: She's gonna kill you.
  Misty: Only if she can get here, and I have her goddamn shoes!
• Misty states that "Men are like dessert, they're nice to have, but you don't really need them" and Kingston and Sofie agree. Pete, a trans man, disagrees and says "That's gross."
• Alejandro comments that Sofia running into her dead husband, who she thought had just broken up with her is "a lot to process." She proceeds to tear him a new one leading to:
  Alejandro: Okay, that was the wrong thing to say.
  Sofia: Yeah, you've all said wrong things and this was your fucking turn.
• Misty disguises herself as "an Eliza Doolittle type" for safety in a Faerie bar. As Siobhan has trouble remembering the name of the play, Zac facetiously suggests "Doctor Dolittle ?". The only one who hears this joke is Ally who then yells "I can see my dick!"^note Presumably they made a connection to Dr. Dolittle, then jumped mentally to The Nutty Professor. . In turn, the only one who notices this is Zac, who immediately loses it. The rest of the table is so wrapped up in the scene that it takes about a minute before anyone notices that Ally is crying with laughter.

Panic at the Art Show

• Kingston tries to encourage people on to the roof to escape the fire, as Kugrash is using a giant spider to make webs that people can climb down as ladders. Kug tries to yell down that they're "gross webs" and Kingston says "I'm gonna leave that part out, Kug!" only for Kug to continue telling the panicked people in the building that it's a disgusting web that came out of a spider's ass.
• When Emily suggests clogging the toilets at the art show to make then overflow in order to help put out the fires, Siobhan responds by joking "I roll a Nat 20 on an epic shit."
• Misty saying that Sofia looks twenty years younger than Isabella when giving her bardic inspiration leads to Isabella and Misty getting into a screaming match on the roof.

Home for the Holidays

• Sofie tries to burn down her house using Unseen Servant so as to commit insurance fraud. Leading to:
  Emily: I'm gonna need money!
  Siobhan: Oh my God! You are from Staten Island!
• This involves going to the supermarket's deli counter and:
  Emily: I have a loud conversation where I know there's CCTV so I've got an alibi.
  Murph: This is diabolical!
• Brennan immediately cuts to Ricky in downtown Manhattan, who smells smoke with his canine senses, swims across the Hudson to Staten Island, puts the fire out with a garden hose, and, despite his himbo-ness, clearly works out that the fire started in suspicious circumstances.
• The party get shrunk at Grand Central Station and Pete falls into a plate of oysters, nearly gets eaten Honey, I Shrunk the Kids style, then shoots at a dog that tries to grab him. Kugrash Wild Shapes into an eagle to rescue Pete, and Pete shoots at him too.
• Brennan repeatedly Corpsing as he tries to say "The Big Book of Bits and Bobbins" in the goofy gnome voice he's putting on for High-Priestess Hib-Hob.
  Kugrash: THEY'RE A PROUD PEOPLE, ALRIGHT?! SOME OF US CAN'T BE HUMANS!

Broadway Brawl

• Murph's notorious bad luck with dice causes him an absolutely catastrophic turn. To wit: He attempts to cast Dispel Magic on Don Confetti and rolls a nat 2, causing him to fail. Then he runs on stage to try and aid Misty in her performance, and rolls a nat 1. He proceeds to go ass-over-apex before unleashing an extremely nasty fart. Everyone in the audience begins screaming in horror at the horrible performance. Made even funnier by the fact that due to the Umbral Arcana, the audience don't see a rat but a small hairy human baby, which is somehow even worse.
• A particularly diabolical turn has the players devolve into insisting that Brennan is "sick". Brennan initially tunes it out but then begins grinning wickedly as he counts out damage dice.
  Lou: Somebody stop him! Somebody call Wizards of the Coast! What weird homebrew bullshit is this, you fuck?

Faeries and Fathers

• In a hurry to meet Kingston at the hospital, Rowan decides to flag down the fastest, craziest cab driver she can find. She absolutely succeeds.
  Rowan: We’re going to the hospital!
  Cabbie: We’re gonna take the river!

Showdown at the Stock Exchange

• Ally points out that Rowan and Pete (who has a crush on Rowan) are the only two characters wearing hats, giving them something in common, at the exact moment that Brennan decides to take a sip of water. He proceeds to spend several seconds desperately trying not to Spit Take.
• Kugrash uses his powers to summon the Juicy Cockroach to buff his team. It just so happens that this Cockroach has a name, and is named after Kugrash. More specifically, it's a combination of "Cockroach" and "Kugrash." The name? Cockrash. Everyone is grossed out.
• Lou jokingly says he's going to take matters into his own hands and beat the shit out of Brennan in real life. He asks the camera crew to cut the cameras. He then imagines the edit cutting back to Brennan, visibly bloodied and bruised, saying that whatever Robert Moses was planning, he's had a change of heart and decided not to do it.
• At one point Brennan comments back to the party's accusations that he's a bad DM, and everyone falls over themselves to reassure him that they all think he's a great DM. They just think he's a bad person.

  Emily: It's about you as a person, not you professionally.

Hall of Heroes

• Ricky journeys to the New York Hall of Heroes, which is based in the Yankees stadium, to the chagrin of Mets fan Jackson. Among the ghostly heroes residing in the hall are Babe Ruth and Sully Sullenberger, who was in fact alive at the time of recording and still is as of this writing. Ricky accepts this without question.
• The reveal that the Miracle on the Hudson was the result of a deliberate and orchestrated attack on Sullenberger by a shadowy conspiracy of geese. It Makes Just As Much Sense In Context.

Chapter II

Trouble at the Tunnel

• When Cody gets the killing blow on the Jersey Devil, Murph rolls the damage for his attack plus his Divine Smite, and ends up with 69 points. The rest of the Zoom chat immediately erupts into cheers of "Nice!" and raucous laughter.

Fantasy High: Sophomore Year

Episode 1: Sophomores Start

• Lou gets so excited at the intel tipping Fabian off to Aelwyn's location that he writes "AELWYN ABERNANT" into the "Flaws" section of his character sheet, which the others find hilariously appropriate.
• Fabian openly fantasising about Aelwyn causes some hilarity around the table.
  Fabian: I'll go hang out, and just dream about kissing my girlfriend!
  Murph: Fabian's a loser.
• After Gorgug complains that Arthur Aguefort is exaggerating the power of rock music, Arthur Aguefort reveals that when the electric lute was invented and played, every person of the 225 people in attendance, regardless of their sex, became pregnant.
  • Right after this, Aguefort makes clear that he is done with Gorgug's shit, and Gorgug desperately tries to backpedal.
    Arthur: Do you understand the power that rock music wields?
    Gorgug: I didn't know that...
    Arthur: Do you have any idea?
    Gorgug: I'm sorry.
    Arthur: Sometimes when you talk, it really pisses me off.
    Gorgug: I realize that, and it seems like a newish thing, but I'm sorry.
• Fabian learned that Gilear disguised himself as Fabian during one of the live shows, and is all too eager to take him on as a hireling.
  Fabian: Honestly, actually, let's bring Gilear. I'd love to go outside of state lines with Gilear, where things can happen, and the government doesn't need to know about it.
  Fig: That sounds like a glowing recommendation!
• Gilear hangs a lampshade on his preternatural wretchedness.
  Gilear: We live in a town filled with powerful adventurers. I am an anomaly in that I neither can cast magic nor fight.
• Danielle Barkstock revealing that Skrank is a Kavorka Man, to Fig's shock.

Episode 2: Mirror Madness

• Fabian sends Gilear on a coffee run.
  Gilear: Well, Master Fabian, I'm about to go out on the coffee run for everybody.
  Fabian: Good.
  Gilear: Is there anything you would like...?
  Fabian: Yeah. Let me get a half-caff macchiato, alright? And I want it upside down, and I want it with two shots, and then I want them to take one shot out. If anything is wrong with it I will kick your fucking ass.
  Brennan: Your mother, SHING! Puts a dagger to your throat.
  Hallariel: If you're going to threaten someone that is a lover of mine, you do it respectfully. Gilear, if you make a mistake on my son's coffee order, physical violence will be visited upon you.
  Gilear: None of this feels healthy.
  • Later, Fabian texts Gilear the coffee order for the rest of the group. Fabian encourages the group to make similarly impossible drinks orders, so Kristen requests a cortado with no milk, iced, and the coffee replaced with tea and a slice of lemon, which Adaine points out is not a cortado at all, but tea with lemon. Nobody listens to her.
  • Gorgug tries to keep his order simple, asking for just a normal hot chocolate, but when he sees that everyone else is going as complicated as possible, he edits his request to match by requesting a shot of cortado in the hot chocolate, and then a proportionally sized shot of hot chocolate in the shot of cortado.
• Fabian immediately knows something is wrong when Riz fails to pick up his phone after the first ring when Fabian calls him.
• Fabian rolls a Nat 1 on Investigation so he ends up biting down on a piece of broken glass, cutting his mouth up and crying.
  Fabian: [Through sobs] I was investigating like Riz! He bites things all the time!
  Sandra Lynn: He tastes things! Sometimes!
  • The one person who actually takes Fabian's side when everyone else is yelling at him for being stupid enough to bite glass is Ragh, because Ragh apparently bites glass all the time completely by accident.
  Ragh: It's literally invisible! How are you supposed to know it's there?

Episode 3: Havoc at the Hotel Cavalier

• After Riz's terrifying encounter with "Baron", the players are so spooked that they begin to make joking motions to leave.
  Lou: People went to Hell and it wasn't that bad.
• The players are very upset to learn that Gilear's stats are very low: He has an armor class of 10 and an HP of 5, leading Emily to ask why Brennan would create such a "cursed creature", something that Brennan protests:
  Brennan: HE'S NOT CURSED! He's just a GUY! He's j- some people have to be normal!
  Zac: So if someone does 10 hit points of damage to him he's permanently...
  Siobhan: He's fully dead.
  Brennan: Full dead at 10 points of damage. Do you know that most people, if you stab them with a sword, will die right away?
  Ally: ...I guess.
  Brennan: [loses it and starts laughing]
• Fabian decides to use Gilear's face as a springboard to leap over the counter with a nat 20.
• Of course, almost immediately one of the demons fully kills Gilear in one hit before the rest of the party has even taken damage.
• After going through lengths to cast Revivify, the Bad Kids bring Gilear back to life with one HP, only for Fabian to knock him unconscious again when he rolls a nat one when trying to use the poor man as a springboard again. As if that weren't enough, the demons then take off with an unconscious Gilear and the Bad Kids have to chase them down the street.
  • Fabian's nat 1 makes Ally (the player, not the character) so angry that the stitches from their top surgery burst open.
• Half the gang becomes convinced that Gilear is actually The Chosen One after Fabian wonders why the demons went for Gilear and not him, who obviously posed a greater threat.

Episode 4: Heartache on the Celestine Sea

• Throughout the final conversation with Zelda as their signal is deteriorating, it's abundantly clear that Brennan is trying to set up a "breaking up" misunderstanding regarding the signal and Gorgug/Zelda's relationship. It's equally clear that Zac sees right through it and is avoiding saying anything close to that.

Episode 5: Leviathan Rock City

• Riz takes "snuff", Spyre's Fantastic Drug equivalent of cocaine, and gets so coked up that he has his entire body tattooed, Memento-style, with clues around the various mysteries he's investigating. Permanent tattoos.
  • Ragh gives some very good advice about not giving into peer pressure and avoiding drugs if you don't want to do drugs. He then aggressively insists that Riz does snuff.

Episode 6: Pirate Brawl

• The episode just exudes chaotic energy, starting with Fabian going Off the Rails and walking into an encounter with his father's multi-level marketing warlocks, all gleefully underprepared.
• Lou corpsing as he realises that he is woefully underprepared for the battle against Captain James Whitclaw and he is 100% going to die. (He doesn't.)
• Realising that it will take 20 rounds (about two minutes of in-game time) for backup to arrive and help Fabian, Fig and Gorgug have the brilliant idea to grab a rope and cut it to fly up to Crow's Keep. This results in both of their arms immediately being dislocated by the sheer force as they each take damage.
• Chungle-Down Bim, seeing Fabian run off, tells Fabian to go fuck himself in the most piratey way possible.
  Bim: Ye ain't no pirate, and Bill would spit in yer eye! [fires Eldritch Blast at Fabian and misses] I'm gonna shit in yer mouth! I'm gonna make a toilet of your mouth, boy!
  Lou: Fabian, honestly, is fighting back tears.
• Fig has another genuinely quite good idea: To disguise herself as Jamina Joy and shout to the people of Leviathan to teleport her and Gorgug over to where Fabian is fighting Whitclaw. Unfortunately, as Brennan narrates:
  Brennan: To your credit, a bunch of people come out looking helpful to their balconies. Your cry fills the city of Leviathan and there are several people here that would teleport you! However, the issue is that what they effectively hear is —HALLALLAJANNAAGGHAHHGGGHAJAHAGGHGGHGHG— and you are gone.

Episode 7: The Friendship Section

• Adaine steals a librarian's book, causing him to collapse into a pile of bones. She puts the book back, and the wizard comes back as a horrific screaming fleshy mess that begs for death. She removes the book again and then leaves Gorgug to reassemble the librarian's skeleton.
• Fabian begins Cry Laughing while explaining the events of the battle last night to the others. It's genuinely hard to tell if Lou is acting or not.

Episode 8: The Row and the Ruction

• Siobhan gets fed up with Lou rolling Nat 1s constantly so she dunks Lou's dice in a cup of water to "wash" them. The best part is that it actually kind of works.
• Cathilda the Black snaps Gorgug, who is raging, out of the stunned condition.
  Cathilda: Snap out of it! Now's not the time fer lollygaggin'!
  Gorgug: [Beat]
  Gorgug: AGGGGHHH

Episode 10: The Dangerous Mind of Aelwyn Abernant

• Kristen is a Ribbon Dancer. Ally wants to use her ribbon-dancing to jump out of a window and get faster to the ground than the villain, by catching on the third floor ledge. Hilarity Ensues as she rolls 14 to use her ribbon to fly like a helicopter with Brennan asking her to look him in the eye and honestly answer if she really thinks 14 is enough to completely shatter all laws of nature so she can do that. And then she rolls minus 1 (nat 2 with minus 3 penalty) on athletics check to use the ribbon the way Indiana Jones uses his whip as a more realistic plan. As a result, she falls down ten stories to the ground, leaving her with broken leg and just 3 hp.
  Brennan: Well, you got what you want. Kristen does get down faster than Aelwyn. A lot faster.

Episode 11: Revelations & Revivifications

• The Serial Escalation of the Bad Kids dancing with Fabian, including Hallariel arriving to dance with Fabian, Fig playing Explosions in the Sky, Riz skanking, Ayda Aguefort stomping her feet to the rhythm and Fabian's grandpapa coming out wearing nothing but a silk diaper and doing contact juggling with a moss-covered stone.
  • Brennan apparently does not realise that "Explosions in the Sky" is the name of a band and proceeds to actually mime explosions happening in the sky, complete with sound effects.

Episode 12: Crustaceans & Crushes

• Oh, Fig...
  • Fig skates away from Ayda by doing a sick 80-foot drop on her skateboard.
  • Fig kissing Ayda, skating away again and hiding behind a tree.
  • Fig burns two of her luck points to hide the fact that she kissed Ayda from Riz.
• After Fig and Ayda have a heartwarming moment, the action cuts to the rest of the kids’ party having gotten weird: Gorgug chanting crab king, Tracker and Ragh yelling about lobster, Fabian saying he’s a little shrimp and Riz drunkenly sobbing about dead shrimp as Kristen tries to convince him to kiss one

Episode 13: Hellbound

• While investigating the items Killian bought, Gorgug, Ragh and Fabian get into some shenanigans and end up buying dusk moss, the Spyre equivalent of acid, from a gnome, and are nervous and paranoid throughout the purchase because they're convinced the gnome is a cop entrapping them. When it dawns on them that drugs aren't illegal outside of Solace, they end up buying two pounds of the stuff.
• Later, Ragh takes a very large amount of dusk moss and ends up having an intense trip which puts him through ego death and forces him to go and take a nap.
• Everything about Vraz the Mean, a perpetually high-strung bully from Hell's internal bureaucracy whose entire deal is yelling at people and being intimidating.
  • Vraz's Establishing Character Moment:
    Fig: Hey, can we come with you?
    Vraz: Well, you've been served, yeah, absolutely.
    Fig: Yeah, okay, so just leave it open, we're right behind you.
    Kristen: [laughing] Yeah, just leave it open, we're right behind you.
    [Beat]
    Vraz: Are you guys having a fun time? 'Cause you seem PRETTY FUCKING GLIB! KEEP YOUR SASS TO YOURSELF!
  • Riz giving in to his goblin instincts and hissing at Vraz the Mean, who is extremely unimpressed.
    Vraz the Mean: OHHHH ARE WE ALL HAVING A GOOD TIME?!
    Riz: [hisses]
    Vraz: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
    Riz: [hisses]
    Vraz: OH YOU'RE GONNA FUCK WITH ME? GIVE ME ANOTHER HISS. YOU LITTLE FUCKING BALL. YOU'RE A LITTLE BITCH. I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU.
    Fig: Riz, hiss him!
    Riz: [hisses]
    Vraz: Oh, you wanna see a hiss? [wrenches her face open to reveal waggling tentacles]
  • Once she has convinced Vraz that Gorthalax is trapped in a gem and didn't intentionally abandon his domain, Fig asks Vraz for her friends to have passage into Sylvaire, causing Vraz to explode again.
    Vraz: Oh, because the trial's over when I call a recess? Recess means the whole tribunal's over?
    Fig:I thought that-
    Vraz: DO YOU KNOW WHAT WORDS MEAN? DO YOU KNOW WHAT WORDS MEAN?
    Fig: I didn't - okay, first off -
    Vraz: [making a jerking off motion] HUHHHHH!
• The Running Gag of the other players, who are trapped outside of Hell, talking about how Hell probably isn't that bad while the four characters in Hell face off against devils and witness people being horribly tortured.

Episode 15: Blast From the Passed

• Gilear dies instantly, again - this time because Cap'n Seacaster, now a devil of Hell, knows that Gilear wants to sleep with his wife and shoots him in the stomach.
• Crosses over with Heartwarming: this gem from Bill and Fabian's midcombat reunion.
  Brennan: You see up at the front, your dad, who is just now, has his hook arm stabbing repeatedly into one of the devils, looks up and just takes an entire legendary action to go...
  Bill: [screaming] That's my darling boy!
  Fabian: I am! I am your darling boy and I'm my own man! Those, I can be both those things. I do not need to live in your shadow.
  Bill: No, he's my own his darling man boy!
  Fabian: Yes I am!
• After Coach Daybreak calls him a "little mama's boy got his safety blanket", Fabian hurts Dayne using his Elven Dance Battler abilities, which leads Fabian to utter the immortal line:
  Fabian: Toxic masculinity is DEAD-uh! I DANCE NOW!
• Kristen deals some damage to Daybreak and then spits on him, causing her "gay spit" to mildly injure him.
  Daybreak: [in agony] AGGGGH! LOVE WINS!
• The Call-Back/Brick Joke to the Bloodrush field battle. Adaine tells Ragh that he didn't shit his pants, it was Daybreak. Ragh spent the last year believing he shit his pants on the Bloodrush field. He takes it surprisingly well.
• Brennan asks for one of the players to roll a luck check for a lair action. Murph rolls before anyone else can react and gets a 2. Chaos ensues.
  • Emily starts asking "Why would you do that?" before the die even lands.
  • Lou gets out of his chair and shouts in triumph before he actually reads the die, then frantically starts explaining himself.
  • Ally, Siobhan, and Emily immediately start berating Murph loudly. Zac silently pelts Murph with dice from across the table.
  • As the table devolves into loud crosstalk, Murph can clearly be heard yelling:
    Statistically, I had just as good a chance of rolling good as any of you!
  • The above example is even funnier when you learn that this is Brennan's favorite "Murph sound" of all time.

Episode 16: My Green Heaven

• Riz and his dad talking about sex, and Riz' absolute awkwardness at the topic - but he has to ask his dad as it is related to the Shadowcat-case!

Episode 17: The Forest of the Nightmare King

• Riz surreptitiously catches Kalina on candid camera with the spy-cam hidden in his tie, and they decide to upload it to the Spyre equivalent of social media with the hashtag #CanYouSeeKalina, essentially turning one of the major villains of this story arc into a meme similar to "The Dress" or "Laurel/Yanny".

Episodes 19 & 20: Spring Break! I Believe In You!

• Gilear's triumphant return, in which he uses his supernaturally woeful nature to his advantage. To wit: He puts on one of the Armors of Sin kept in Gorthalax's castle, something that should instantly overtake and kill him. This exchange follows:
  Marilith: An Armor of Sin? It will latch on to whatever pride you have and destroy you!
  Gilear: In my haste to put the armor on, I buckled the leg-plate and I think I've clipped the tip of my penis against one of the leg-plates, and every time I move it feels like it might come off, the tip of - so let me assure you, demon - I HAVE NO PRIDE!
• The reveal that Gilear is "hung like a goddamn horse".
• Ayda dunks on Kalina by saying that Fig is much prettier than her and punctuates the insult by saying "GOTTEM!" far too loudly.

Tiny Heist

Big Little Crimes

• Aglet pushing Rick Diggins to make conversation during poker... only to immediately regret it when Rick turns out to have absolutely no filter and reveal his And I Must Scream backstory. Which is so horrifying that it distracts the other players and lets Rick nab all the winnings easily.
  Ruthie: ...I think we can keep the chatter... less- just minimum chatter.
• Boomer gives too many details when he's pretending to kill Car-go by throwing him into the storm drain. Felix, exasperated, says he doesn't have to explain everything. Boomer's response:
  Boomer: Sorry, boss, it's good for narrative flow.
  Felix, even more exasperated: You gotta stop reading these books you're reading.
• Garbanzo Buglass tries to be suave and light Agnes's cigarette for her. Unfortunately, he tries to use a regular-size match—which, since he is a bug, is longer than he is—so it turns into slapstick as he totally fails to blow it out and then finally has to throw himself on top of it.

Breaking and Entering

• After Car-Go comes to TI with a request to plant a bomb in his chest, Rick meets wit TI... because he also wants to plant a bomb in Car-Go.
• Felix Flick's insight roll against Agnes's request to go to the bathroom, and everything that follows.
  Brennan: He's got a +5 insight.
  Justin: Into urination based lies.
  Travis: He nasty.
  Justin: He nasty!
  • Felix then proceeds to pass the check and tells her no.
  Justin: *cracking up along with the group* How bad of a dude do you have to be!
  Clint: To not let an old lady piss!
  Lily: I have to go to the bathroom!
  Travis: "I have to pee!" "No! In fact, you're acting weird!"
  • Among responses to his denial is the idea to pee herself to prove him wrong, and a request for all his minions in the room to make a check to see if they still want to keep working for Felix after witnessing this.
• Brennan's tense description of the situation at the end of the episode.
  Brennan: Bean. You are balancing on this pedestal. Rick, you have just spotted the code in the office. Car-Go, you are still frozen on the floor, seeing the vast villainy of Felix's plan. TI, you are alone in a locked server room. Agnes, you are pissing in a bathroom with an open door.

A Crown of Candy

Series

Episode 1: There is Strength in Sweetness

• We're introduced to Theobald during one of his patrols through Castle Candy. It starts off as a normal introduction, even having a pleasant conversation with Sir Toby, another gummy bear knight of Castle Candy, but it quickly gets hilarious when the Tartguards are introduced. The two incompetent guards are introduced by both of them mentioning they have blunted their swords so they could tickle each other with them. When Theobald tells them to get new swords because those ones are "banished", one of the Tartguards reacts like his sword is made of poison and throws it out a window. When the same guard asks Theobald what he should tickle his friend with now, Theobald exasperatedly tells him to get his original sword back. So the guard calls out to the courtyard to ask someone to throw his sword back to him, and someone does... through a different, unbroken window.
• Chancellor Lapin's introduction has him giving a long, droning lecture to Ruby and Jet. Or at least, that's what he thinks he's doing. When Theobald and Toby come in, Lapin and Theobald immediately start arguing, and in the middle of their argument, Toby points out the princesses are gone, and have been replaced with scarecrow dummies that Lapin has been lecturing for the past 90 minutes.
  Lapin: Well, I assumed they were rapt in my lecture.
  Theobald: They're made of STRAW, Chancellor!
• During King Amethar's introduction, he and Lord Calroy Cruller have a sincere heart-to-heart about how they've been through much together, such as being together "in the muck, in the trenches, we've seen each other piss and shit in pots, we've fought and bled together". Only after the heart-to-heart is done do the players come to a realization.
  Zac: I just remembered that this is a piece of cake with eyes.

Episode 2: Ambush on the Sucrosi Road

• After the combat ends, Liam’s first reaction is downright Cloudcuckoolander, made far more humorous by Brennan's reaction.
  Ally/Liam: I'd like to start chopping up that tree, making little bonfires along the side of the road.
  Brennan: (off handedly without missing a beat) Cool, that's an insane thing.

Episode 3: Keep Sharp

• When Jet sides with Theobald over Ruby, Siobhan gives an absolutely incredible pun:
  Siobhan/Ruby: Et tu, Fruite?

Episode 4: The Grand Tournament

• While everyone else is participating in the tournament, Lapin is free to to whatever he wants in the stands. He chooses to use this to make two Candian nobles hold a full glass of wine in each hand until the tournament is over on faked orders from the king. Brennan is so tickled by this, he doesn't even have him make a check to successfully convince them.
  Lord Swirly: This is an exceedingly normal request!
• In a tense moment, Emily is preparing to roll in the Box of Doom with disadvantage to notice foul play. She misses the Box with both dice.

Episode 5: Lapin's Big Day

• Once again, Amethar brings up the time he and another person watched each other shit during the war to Emperor Gustavo, who reminisces about the time he saw Amethar "shit in a dead sprint" and how it was "the most upsetting thing [he] had ever seen." Apparently, Amethar had been drinking pretty heavily and bet people that he could sprint to a tree a ways away, and before anyone even took the bet, he started sprinting, and almost immediately began to shit himself as he was running.

Episode 7: Escape from the Bulb Creeps

• Desperately needing to get out of Comida, the party rushes to the first place they can think of: the alley where Jet sent Thaddeus Strongpit, supposedly to wait for a romantic tryst, three days previously. Not only does Liam instantly coldcock the amorous avocado, but Ruby uses Disguise Self to masquerade as Thad, which effectively amounts to putting on a Maurice Chevalier Accent and talking about how embarassingly brief and undersized "he" is in bed.

Brennan: (as a Fructeran herald) Make way for ze Lord Strongpit!

Siobhan: (as "Thaddeus") It's me! I 'ave a tiny penis!

Episode 9: Safe Harbor

• While Jet Rocks's death is very much not funny, the fact that Liam wrapped her body in tearaway lingerie (there was nothing else around) very much is.

Episode 11: At the Mountains of Sweetness

• Cumulous, who by now has been established as getting very emotional upon seeing magical items, finds a room filled with such artifacts. As Theobald and Saccharina converse, Zac wordlessly mimes picking up items and crying over them, completely distracting both Murph and Emily.
• Liam quite literally gets Drunk on Milk due to the "fermented yak milk" that is a popular beverage among Saccharina's troops.
• After being told about the little "pissing match" that's been going on between Saccharina and Joran Jawbreaker, a drunk Liam responds with "Oh no, my dad's really good at pissing!" prompting a discussion on Joran's incredibly powerful and remarkably consistent stream as Theobald once again tries to remind everyone that they don't have to go to the bathroom in front of each other, and that they can just go a few feet further away and do their business in relative privacy.
• After meeting Saccharina, Caremelinda's attitude basically devolves into "this may as well happen" as she accepts the complete chaos that her life has devolved into over the last few days. Upon discussing her previous marraige to Lazuli, she replies to one of Liam's remarks with "my life has been completely shattered" in total deadpan.

Episode 12: Rescue at Buzzybrook

• With a spell combination Emily does a ridiculous amount of damage in her first turn as Saccharina, singlehandedly saving Joren and inflicting more than 40 points of damage on every enemy in her vicinity during a surprise round. Brennan is stunned into silence while the rest of the cast can't stop laughing.
  Brennan: The two knights— You know what, I'm not going to narrate anything 'cause there is so much happening and I'm ruined. I'm ruined.

Adventuring Party

The Wild Childs

• Brennan brings up the time he had his wisdom teeth removed and apparently he was crying as his brother took him home because if bandits attacked, he wasn't in fighting shape and would be a liability.

Pirates of Leviathan

The Daughter of Storms

• Cheese gets scooped up by Stimey and is initially terrified at being able to see what he's eaten, including an Oreo. Suddenly, the conversation turns to an in-depth discussion about the different kinds of Oreo, all while everyone else is outside fighting over a powerful artifact.

Into the Sternwood

• After Clive escapes the combat, Jack engages in what can only be described as revenge roleplay when he starts demanding various Mooks identify themselves as Clive before he beats them to death.

Scramble to the Ramble

• While Marcid is murdering his way through a bunch of soldiers when he gets a message from Stimey. His first reaction is to think he's having a stroke, which lasts until Alcyon and Stimey start hitting it off in his mind and he swiftly decides that he's actually been sent to hell.
  Brennan: You are having an immobile sentient object meet cute in your brain.

Mice and Murder

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

• Sylvester complains to Lars that Eel Musk, the owner of the telephone companies, are spying on them through their telephonics. Brennan congratulates Grant on making an anachronistic pop cultural reference in record time.

A Scandal in Britannia

• Upon being introduced to Buckster, Sylvester asks if he's from Texas.
  Sylvester: I liked it better when it was Mexico.

The Stabber of the Evening

• Sylvester and Daisy, in the midst of their acerbic back-and-forth, take a break from insulting each other to gang up on calling Gangie's mom a bitch. Gangie himself, a career criminal, finds this very insulting as he grew up in an orphanage and never knew his mom.

Busted

• Creeped out by the events of the evening, Daisy openly beseeches any spirits nearby for aid. An amused Brennan makes Rekha roll a Religion check. She rolls a Natural 20. Cue the rest of the cast cheering and proclaiming that ghosts are real while Brennan sits in Stunned Silence for almost a minute and a half.
  Brennan: I am ruined. I'm ruined. No Nat 20 has ever been more untimely. This is the end of my life.

The Belly of the Beast

• During a discussion about assassinations, Sam texts Rekha about the character assassination of Sylvester. Rekha also texts him her really smart idea: "ass ass - two donkeys."
  Brennan: Both equally lucid, cogent, and prescient observations.
• Buckster's short lived Dirty Coward moment.
  Buckster: Well gang, I think here's where we wrap it up. We are free from the police, free from the bad guys, and this little piggy's going weeweeweeweeweewee all the way home.
  Brennan: And you remember immediately the contract on Colonel Hawkins' body and the knife still with the mouses.
  Buckster: So as soon as I said that... Two thoughts occurred to me and I'm sticking this out because it's the right thing to do. Justice is at hand!

Unfinished Business

• Buckster's attempt to stall for time involves accusing a completely innocent guest of the murder... with a clever pun thrown in.
  Buckster: Police! In the interest of public safety, I must ask you to seize at once... that Red Herring!
  (cut to an actual anthropomorphic red herring in a suit)
  Brennan: All eyes turn to the red herring in the room...
  Red Herring: (Spit Take) Not again!
  Constable: Right, get 'em! (proceed to viciously club and kick the red herring with ludicrous force)
  Red Herring: (mid-beating) I am an innocent fish! This keeps happening! I should never have come to this dinner party!
• When Sylvester discovers Connor McCabbage alive, he has this to say:
  Connor: I can't believe you found me... thank you...
  Sylvester: Mr. McCabbage, you are absolutely quite welcome. I'll tell you two things: first, I couldn't solve your murder, so I'm pretty thrilled to see you alive.
  Cue the rest of the party laughing.
  Grant: Still undefeated, remain the best in the world, doin' great.
• Apparently one of the biggest sources of the Brockhollow debt was the absolutely massive amount of money Lucretia spent on crystal balls, incenses and strange powders. Especially the powders.
  Lucretia: William kept yelling at me and he said 'you have to stop buying powders.' And I said, 'if you ever say that to me again, I'll burn the house down.'
  • Followed closely by Lucretia's version of how the debt was resolved.
  Lucretia: So he found another solution, rather than me buying less or no powders, he worked something out with a number of associates. I asked who the associates were and he said, 'Lucretia, you are the last person I would ever give a secret to,' and I said, 'fie on you, I'll get the ghosts to tell me!' And then I forgot to ask, but the important thing is this...
• There is no way to describe the sheer chaos of the first turn in the final confrontation: Sylvester is thrown from the tower by his nemesis, failing to pull an ironic reversal from how this went so many years ago, seemingly doomed... and then Daisy rushes to the window and shits out of it to try and cushion his fall, which confuses Cottonbottom so much he loses his next turn. To make it even wilder, the shitting plan fails, but Sylvester survives the damage anyways, meaning that Sylvester falls off a tower, gets shit on by his ex-girlfriend, hits the ground, and is fine.
  Brennan: I can't believe you're not dead. I cannot believe you're not dead.
  Cottonbottom: *on his next turn after being stabbed* What is wrong with you? You horrible freaks, you just shit! You just shit out the window! You just shit out the window! You just took a shit out of the window! You just hiked up your dress and blasted your nasty raccoon pellets all out of the window into the storm! Ooo!

Misfits and Magic

Series

Episode 1

• Dream's mother justifiably freaks out when she sees the talking owl, and is floored by Dream's casual attitude towards magic being real.
• Sam is doing a Twitch stream when the owl shows up with her letter, and her dialogue when she leaves her camera to check on it leads her viewers to think there's a break-in at her house and she's about to get murdered. Her subscriber count immediately soars.
  • A ridiculously good roll enables Sam to be able to talk to the bird, who is quite the snarker and very fed up with her shit. Sam's viewers, meanwhile, are perplexed about why she seems to be fighting a bird.
  • Sam's mother chooses to ignore the giant magic owl and instead chooses to give Sam The Talk, as she's very concerned that her teenage daughter doesn't seem to realize that eating sausages and cucumbers on camera for strangers could be seen as, well... less than innocent.
  • The cherry on top is the reveal that Jammer is watching all this go down on his phone from across the country.
• Brennan's character, Evan Kelmp, manages to beat out Gilear for being a sadsack. Among other things, he's never left Iowa in his entire life, the one day of in-game time is more social interaction than he's had in years
  Evan: I don't have a screen on my phone.
  Dream/Erika: [sympathetic 'ohhh']
  Evan: I, it's no-, I only have like three numbers saved in there.
  Dream/Erika: [louder sympathetic 'ohhh']
  Evan: It's 911, poison control, and animal control...
  Dream/Erika: [even louder sympathetic 'ohhh', bordering on a wail]
• Evan (or Brennan, it's hard to tell) gets distracted regarding the logistics of how an owl brought them letters from England to America.
• When Aabria reveals that she has gifted all the players actual wands to roleplay with, Erika (a huge Harry Potter fan) begins squeeing hard and has to struggle to stay in character as Dream, who is remarkably less excited by the prospect.
• When getting familiars, Evan is distinctly uneasy about the prospect.
  Dream: Is it because anything that you nurture and care for, um... dies a horrible death?
  Evan: *beat* What's, what kind of answer are you looking for in this moment?
  Dream: One in the affirmative?
  Evan: *beat* Let's go to the pet shop.
  • And shortly thereafter when the other misfits have a not nearly quiet enough whispered conversation about his non-answer:
  Evan: They don't all die! Sometimes they do stuff, or they tell me to do stuff! Sometimes, sometimes they don't turn out to be animals. One time a pig's head in a butcher shop told me that God and the Devil killed each other!
• During the forray into the petshop, Sam, Dream, and Evan begin to discuss the possibility that wizards would have their own equivalent to a streaming service. When Dream proposes a hypothetical walrus that would stream to other wizards, and Jammer immediately shouts to a store attendant and demands a streaming walrus.
  Jammer (shouting): Let me get a stream walrus!

Episode 2

• A young student overhears Jammer offhandedly using the word muggle and runs off to tell on him. Jammer's response is to tell the kid he's from America.
  Snitch Kid: Oh no, you have guns probably!
  Jammer: Uh, yeah, I'm a black American. I probably have a gun.
  Snitch Kid: It wasn't a race thing but then you said that like that! And now I believe it!
  Jammer: Yeah, you tell all your friends that I have a gun and then I'm gonna tell all your friends that you assumed because I'm a black American that I have a gun, and all your little friends are gonna think you're racist.
  Snitch Kid: That's entrapment, no!
  Jammer: You've been entrapped, little man!
  • This becomes a Brick Joke later, when Headmistress Boudicca has to stress the "rumors of the Americans having guns are patently false."
• When the Magical Misfits get to the Chimeron common room, the Oggles explain to them that they can write on the tables to request food direct from the kitchen. Jammer immediately starts frantically ordering a McRib. The kitchen doesn't know what that is.
• The Misfits deciding that the reason the Kitchen doesn't know what a McRib is must be because they call it something different in England, and asking for a "Rib Deluxe" instead, assuming that to be the European name. Jammer receives bone-in ribs on pieces of bread and scalloped potatoes, and throws it across the room in outrage.^note For the record, the McRib is indeed still called the McRib in the UK. Rule of Funny applies.
• This interaction after Evan declares that eating food off the ground is "no sweat":
  Dream: I don't... I'm trying to think of him as a person and not just a Woobie.
  Jammer: It's just funny 'cause like literally the moment he said that, I looked at you 'cause I knew that you would react in a very specific way. 'Cause every time he does the sad stuff, you get all... you know.
  Dream: I just feel like I could fix him.
  Sam: Girl, you need to rein it in or you will slide all over this common room.
  Aabria: [cackles in laughter]
• Sam introduces Chimeron to mukbang, and her reaction is somewhere between elation that she's going to be the most popular girl in her house, and thinking, "My God, What Have I Done?"
• Evan has a very realistic view of his place on the pecking order, describing himself as profoundly uncool, and easily the least cool of the four exchange students... but by Chimeron standards, he's mid-tier. Jammer, observing the mukbang incident, remarks that Evan might actually be on the high end.
• Evan going absolutely nuclear on a second year student who asks him if he really sent Digby to Hell. The idea that one could get a sunburn in Hell in particular is a rant-inducing slight.

Episode 3

• There are no words for how funny it is when Dream starts talking and singing like a Disney princess.
• Dream and Evan having a genuinely sweet and emotional heart-to-heart... while Evan has gone "full Venom" with the voice to match, and Dream has been magicked into a pink velvet dress and is speaking in a Fluttershy-esque lilt. The rest of the table is losing it the entire time, while Brennan and Erika commit to the bit.
• Sam and Jammer have become so unfazed by all the day to day weirdness of Gowpenny, they briefly delay searching for their missing friends so they can go flirt with their respective love interests. The Oggles declare they are now true wizards.
• Sam Talking the Monster to Death is made of funny and awesome. Highlights include her pointing out that any deal Evan made with the demonic creatures is invalid because he's a minor, and just straight-up telling one to leave because Evan is their friend, they really want him back, and, "We don't know you!" Both of these work.

Episode 4

• The way Evan disarms Tallulah once and for all:
  Evan: I've been here at this fuckin' school for four months, with your garbled pig Latin spells. I don't think any of this shit is real Latin. I don't think any of it's real Latin, I think it's words that you don't even understand. So you know what spell I'm gonna use to break your fuckin' wand? McRib!
• Evan's chilling threat of "If you're not gonna concede, what do you want me to tell your family?" that leaves the rest of the table in hysterics and Aabria utterly flummoxed about how the poor kid should respond to that. Even better is that, even after Evan succeeds at a Grit roll to intimidate them, the opponent goes through with it - and after winning, Brennan calmly describes how he sent the kid to Hell to witness his own funeral and the alternate timeline in which Evan full-on kills him during that duel before wrenching him back and incredulously asking "For prestige?! People care about you!"

Holiday Special

• Sam finally gets fed up and asks if the wizarding world does anything that isn't related to Gowpenny or weird murder traditions. The Headmistress genuinely has to stop and think about that.
• Evan immediately starts preparing to physically fight the Tadeshecourt. Hilarity Ensues as he tries to pass out improvised weapons and armor to increasingly confused wizards.
  Evan: I'll have whatever drink comes in a sturdy glass bottle.
  Peddleston McJonjon: Uh... can I get a ginger beer?
  Evan: Wonderful, thanks. [Evan immediately smashes the bottle and pockets the sharp end.]
  Peddleston: I... what do you think the Lulling is?!
  Evan: I dunno. But I'm gonna be ready.
• Minister McJonjon fills the kids in on "Tad" to assuage their worries, and is immediately horrified when K calls him "a fuckable cryptid".
  • The Loch Ness Monster makes the list of fuckable cryptids.
• Sam fully drops a child. Because "kids are resilient."
• K (and Erika!) brought a Tad cosplay to the Lulling. They just had the parts, apparently.
• Echolocation.
• All of the man characters bought gifts for each other. Evan went all-out and bought everyone a ton of deeply personal and thoughtful gifts, K got Evan a proper Smartphone, etc... This is contrasted with Jammer who clearly had no idea what to get anyone so he just got everyone Fortnite V-Bucks.

The Seven

Series

Episode 1: Party of Seven

• The first of the seven maidens to regain consciousness is Danielle, who immediately starts talking to Zelda about how on board she was with Kalvaxus' plans until it took a "weird monarchist turn".
• Katja wakes up shouting "Cinnamon," which Ostentatia takes for her Safe Word. Turns out Cinnamon is her horse, who she quickly reveals is the most important thing to her, even as she's chained up to be sacrificed. Yelle and Ostentatia both clock that if Cinnamon were to die, she might die on the spot of grief.
• Rekha saying that Katja is South Asian, given that statistically speaking, most people in the real world are Asians. It's funny because it's true!
• Penny wakes up in the middle of a discussion about whether sex has to be penetrative to count for virginity and asks for her chains to be tightened because she doesn't like the slack.
• Poor Antiope's clothes are too short because she went through a growth spurt while in the crystal. Even more embarrassing, she wakes up in a puddle.
  Antiope: I had to pee before we started!
• Penny makes all the girls friendship bracelets out of a shattered magic mirror. When Ostentatia casts mending on hers, Brennan tells them that they can see each other through the bracelets, leading to this gem:
  Katja: It's Ostentatia o'clock!

Episode 2: In or Out

• After Sam Nightingale decides to cast lightning lure on Principal Augefort to keep him from fleeing, he applauds her, though grumbles that it almost killed him. Sam makes a snide remark about him being used to "burning sensations" - but instead of chlamydia, Augefort interprets it as a reference to the phoenix he fucks constantly.
  • As it turns out, Augefort may well have phoenix chlamydia.
  Katja: Like a phoenix from the ashes, the chlamydia rises.
• Zelda and Katja have a heartwarming moment after the Seven argue about whether to stay together to go their own ways. Unbeknownst to them, Penny is invisible and watching from a branch just over their heads. Then she tries to join the conversation and they both scream and draw weapons.
• As Danielle, the druid, is trying to console Sam about the Seven breaking up:
  Danielle: Nature constantly changes. It's... entropy's the way of life.
  Sam: Nature sucks!
  (Beat)
  Danielle: You're angry.
• Sam and Penelope have a snark-off that would rival Mean Girls.
  Penelope: Um, oh my God. A call without a text first. Are you out of your fucking mind?
  Sam: You look better than you ever did alive.

Episode 3: Big City Connections

• After Antiope spots the End of All Things watching them, Penny tries to tell her friends that it's connected to them.
  Penny: That thing pegged you!
  Everyone: WHAT?!
  Penny: Phrasing! Phrasing!
  Katja: I thought we were maidens!
• Penny expresses her belief that "Entropy is terrible, everything needs order!"
  Danielle: Well, that's another one for the therapy list.
  Antiope: I'll add it to the list.
• Rekha sarcastically writing down the area code for Bastion City (212) in the biggest possible writing and holding it up so Brennan and the other players can see.
• The Seven get dinner at a "TGIF-style" restaurant called "Slappy McFinnegan's". Katja immediately commits a microaggression by trying to brush a centaur waiter, who calls his manager.
  Brennan: We Smash Cut to a fast-food restaurant down the street.
  • The fast-food place turns out to be called Slamburger, which everyone admits is more appropriate for them.
    Isabella: We're perfect for Slamburger.
    Rekha: When you're at Slamburger, you're fucking family.
    Isabella: When you're at Slamburger, you are fucking your family.
    Persephone: That's their tagline.
  • Ostentatia takes the opportunity to flirt with the tiefling fry cook by asking if he comes there often.
    Fry Cook: What, to my job?
    Ostentatia: Yeah.
    Fry Cook: Honestly, no.
• A security guard rolls a natural 20 on his wisdom saving throw, deducing that Ostentatia has cast a spell on him. When Ostentatia coyly asks him what he means by that, an instrumental sting that sounds like "I Put a Spell on You" by Screamin' Jay Hawkins begins playing.

Episode 4: Stone Temple Pile-Up

• Penny's strategy for getting the harpy kidnapping her to release her is to summon a Minor Illusion of the harpy queen holding her to trick it. It works, despite the illusion looking like a poorly drawn illustration and being fully two-dimensional.

Episode 6: Belles of the Baronies

• Penny's meeting with Laertes, an agent of the Society of Shadows, goes very poorly. It begins as a discussion with a suave superspy - albeit one whose skill at spycraft is somewhat comically undermined by his strange choice of costumes (a straw doll and a wooden duck) and braggadocious air of mystery - leads to the man shitting himself and vomiting bloody froth after unknowingly eating candy made from a horse. Penny also makes him invisible to spare his remaining dignity, but his attempts to maintain any kind of mystique are completely undercut by his total loss of control over his bodily fluids.
  • Then, Laertes tells Penny that she'll never be able to see her friends or family again and that their memories of her will be erased. The entire table silently takes in this reveal before Brennan acts out, as Rekha puts it, "a man in one pant shitting a horse out." The capper of the scene is Penny, egged on by the other players, leans in for a kiss... right as Laertes vomits directly into her face; she instinctively blocks most of it with his straw hat, before he flees in disgraceful shambles to the sound of wet invisible footprints. Penny then wanders off to stare contemplatively and melancholically into the distance, heartbroken over the choice she has been presented with... and puts the vomit-stained hat on her head.
  • Credit goes to Becca Scott for gamely attempting (and mostly succeeding) to remain straightfaced throughout the entirety of this absurd sequence, even as the rest of the table are corpsing so hard and for so long that several of them (Erika and Izzy in particular) are actively crying with laughter, hyperventilating and begging for it to stop.

Episode 9: Time and Space

• One of the first things the Maidens ask Tectonia is how Karl Cleaver is in the bedroom, leading Cinnamon to cover Katja's ears for a good chunk of the conversation. Apparently he's a very "tactical" lover and uses his powerful lungs well.
• When the maidens are trapped in different time illusions facing their various futures and even their troubling pasts. Most of it is Heartwarming character development. Then the maidens drop in on Zelda. Who is at a rock concert with music blaring as she stands amid tons of dead Zeldas. What went down isn't really elaborated on but it's clear she wasn't too happy with what she saw.

Adventuring Party

Booger Lee Mulligan

• After the debut of the bloppelgangers, Aabria demands Brennan reveal other varieties of gangers in the Baronies, which leads to:
  • Koppelgangers, who look like Ted Koppel
  • Brappelgangers, bra people who may all be conjoined twins
  • Foppelgangers, which are doppelgangers but very fancy
  • Fappelgangers, who masturbate a lot
  • Toppelgangers, which disguise themselves as you if you were a top (and are rare to the point of being mythical)
  • Crop Toppelgangers, which look like you but in a crop top
  • Dockelgangers, which have great combat boots

A Starstruck Odyssey

Episode 1: Welcome to the Spacin' Life, Buddy

• The season starts off in medias res with a space fight, rolling initiative less than five minutes at the start and before anyone's so much as said their character's name. Siobhan, Murph, and Lou, a full half of the party, all roll natural ones for the very first roll of the season. Emily chooses to roll with disadvantage to try for a fourth natural one, only to get a twenty anyways. She and Zac are the only two players to roll above a three.
• Riva's flashback has them talking with their parents about how they're sure the rest of the universe is just like their homeworld where no one lies and no one deceives each other. Cut to them getting recruited into a pyramid scheme and crates upon crates of Pleasure Putty in the cargo hold.
• Sidney misses a shot against the pursuing ship and immediately drops into suicidal depression.
  Sidney: Okay, I may be a droid but I am programmed with emotions to inhibit some of my more rash behavior, and so right now I feel absolute desolation and defeat. Talk me out of it, Barry, because I'm in a bad place.
• Brennan spends most of Sidney's flashback essentially playing the part of one of his CEO skits as he tears into an R&D division for her creation. Highlights include despairing over the open slander of their rivals in an official commercial, reading off a complaint about the assault cannon and rollerskates ruining the pleasure droid protocols, and demeaning Swiss Army knives.
  CEO: Help me out to understand!
• The workplace manager of the lower deck space Norman rents out comes up to ask if they can push back being attacked by ninety minutes. Norman agrees with the most stressed fake smile ever seen, and then dropkicks a chair in rage the moment the guy leaves.
• Gunnie's flashback. He confidently denies spacer insurance because he doesn't think he'll need it. It goes about as well as you'd expect.
  Gunnie: Well, I'm a true spacer, so no thank you insurance!
  Brennan: Your intestines are floating in space.
  • The space paramedics make him sign paperwork before they take him in. Gunnie is forced to sign with his tongue, because the rest of his body is frozen in space.
  • Gunnie ends up losing everything but his head, which is standard sci-fi fare, except he also keeps his feet for some reason.
• The last PC to be introduced is Margaret Encino, who's casually working from home in the apartment she rents in the Red Hot. She only intervenes in the fight because it's interrupting her work.
  • Her hacking in this combat is reskinned, as the droids she's hacking are from her company. She just emails someone to remotely shut those droids down.
  • This exchange:
    Skipper: Yeah, if you want like an actual job here, just let me know.
    Margaret: Oh, no, I'm absolutely loaded with a maxed out 401k, I'll stick to what I'm doing. So great to talk to you!
• Lou corrects Brennan on one instance of damage, reminding him that it bypasses the ship's shields. The rest of the party immediately turns on Lou, comparing him to the kid reminding the teacher about homework.

Episode 2: Rolling Up The Hill

• Riva attempts to explain how Pleasure Putty works. However, they don't actually understand human anatomy that well, leading to a meandering and vague explanation involving "meat tentacles", which Gunnie somehow mistakes for them talking about arms. (Also, one of the flavors it comes in is "Murph's Little Beans", which Riva insists they've heard is very sexy.)
• Brennan spends almost 3 full minutes explaining the costs of running the ship and staying alive, as the crew gets more and more stressed out about costs. Margaret then interrupts and casually pays for it all.
  • The joy of having their debts paid is enough for Sidney to get her pleasure wires crossed.
• "Skip's" learning curve for using a human body is initially a little...steep.
  • First, movement.
  Brennan: You run into the wall, you take five points of damage.
  • Next, sensory organs.
  Skip: I try to echolocate.
• The crew can tell "Skip" isn't the captain because he can talk without saying anything deeply demoralizing.
  Sidney: My sense of self is intact after one interaction.
  Gunnie: If it was the captain he probably would have said "Wait, coward" or "Wait, idiot," but he just said "wait."
• Just in general, the fact that Skip, due to a failed insight check, thinks he's nailing it.
• "Skip" doesn't know how to interpret some signals from his new body (he's been standing and piloting the ship all night, but hasn't turned on his pain receptors and doesn't know he needs to sleep) so he goes to consult Barry. He does this by standing over Barry's bed while he sleeps and then, when Barry wakes up, gesturing silently to his own body with a look of confusion. Barry, baffled, can only respond with, "Right on." At which point "Skip" just turns around and leaves.
• Gunnie, Skip, Sidney and Barry decide to go to a bar to get a contract and celebrate their first lucky break. As they go to convince a proldier to give them a contract, they kick off a strong contender for the worst and funniest social interaction in the show's history, in part due to the way everyone played their part in the chaos of the scene.
  • Gunnie, who has actually good charisma, is on an optimism high and starts out his attempt to convince the proldier to give them a contract with the most abysmally energetic attitude possible, talking like nothing short of a total lunatic, and earning himself disadvantage on his second advantage roll, which is a first for Dimension 20.
  • Sidney, seeing Gunnie tanking the negotiation attempt, decides that the best course of action to help is to very conspicuously rollerskate to 10 feet behind him and shoot a small smoke-bomb missile full of expensive-smelling perfume at him to make him more persuasive and of higher status.
  • Barry, recognizing that this may not be the best situation socially, pulls out his sunglasses and pretends that the smoke bomb was one of his farts. He then boasts to the proldier about the Barry Battalion that they were only stopped by a trip to zoo, and continues to push for the contract.
  • Skip, still learning how to function in normal society, hears Barry say his name, and gets the idea that he should introduce himself as well, and thus walks towards the proldier, and very unnaturally says "My name is Norman Takamori", already worsening a situation that frankly didn't need it.
  • The proldier, who was hired by Jan De la Vega to track the Red Hot down, manages to seem threatening for all 3 seconds it took to rat them out to De la Vega, after which he's met with a flurry of blows from Sidney, Skip, and Barry, leaving him unconscious on his chair before he could even do anything to them.

Wrecked on Rec 97

• The "Vale of Tiers" is misheard as a reference to "The Trail of Tears", a decidedly not appropriate thing to name a feature in a space station after, forcing Brennan to quickly explain it.
• The group's attempt to help Riva sell Pleasure Putty as plants in the crowd.
  • Riva clearly doesn't entirely understand they're not supposed to act like they know the others and keeps mentioning that they're friends, while Margaret desperately tries to cover for them.
  • Sidney claims the putty got her as close as a robot incapable of orgasm can come to cumming, while Barry just walks in and loudly declares that "This stuff made me cum hard." Barry in particular gets questioned and has to follow up on his claims.
  Barry: Just all the putty, made me gush.
  • Riva finally successfully pitches participation in the Pleasure Putty pyramid scheme... to an entire bachelorette party, who divert all their festivities to a Pleasure Putty salesperson training facility.
• The party gets offered 25k credits... to get a dog out of a dog show. The employer asks them to break the dog's legs, and while most of the gang is horrified, Margaret offers to do it for 48k.

Every Day is Our Wurst Day

• Gunnie's quest for "chef's tools," which is a thinly veiled cover to try and gamble at a casino. But Barry comes with him and he ends up asking a casino staff member if they have any chef's tools. The whole thing is ludicrous, but the only thing that stops them is that the casino doesn't have a system in place to sell off their chef's tools.
  • The entire outing goes comically badly. They immediately lose all of the money they were given to buy chef's tools, even with Gunnie counting cards. Then they put their guns up as collateral equal to what they lost and, despite Murph's insistence, Lou decides to gamble that too in an attempt to recoup their losses. He loses it all again. Brennan decides to give Lou an out by letting him roll a tech check to let him count cards more efficiently than before. He rolls a nat 1. He's then accosted by security, utterly fails in his attempts to mislead them, and bolts from the casino, at which point they report the incident to the company that owns his cybernetics, prompting them to immediately send a "Repo Reaper" team after him to take his body parts back. All of this on what was supposed to be a simple shopping trip.
  • At one point Brennan is asked to define chef's tools and comes up with knife, pot, and oven.
  • The final kicker: it's revealed that the Wurst already has chef's tools...labeled as "kitchen utensils".
• One of the first things Princeps Zortch says to the Wurst is a clarification that when they were communing with Gnosis, they were not fucking the computer. The crew all agree that this makes it sound like that was, in fact, exactly what they were doing. Zortch and Sidney then take a sidebar to agree that it's "complicated", because talking to Gnosis is technically just a conversation, but also does feel incredibly good.
• Gunnie gets a message from Mona, the lead mechanic in charge of fixing The Wurst. As he's sending a message back, Riva tells him to ask her if she wants some Pleasure Putty. Gunnie only gets as far as "P.S. Do you want some Pleasure" before Skip reaches over and presses the send button for him.
  • Even better, Brennan makes a quick roll behind the table, and then Gunnie gets another message from Mona saying "Sure." Gunnie then says they can't leave Rec 97 yet, because now he's pretty sure he has a date.
• Zortch asks if they're being kidnapped, and the crew assures them that they're definitely not. Then they ask if they can leave...and the crew says no. Then Sidney just gives up and admits it's a kidnapping.
• The crew turns up to kidnap the dog, only to find out it's less "dog" and more "20-foot-long, venom-spitting alien weasel beast."
• As Sidney hitches a ride out of the exhibition hall on an enraged Aurora's tail, with security in hot pursuit and the news cameras right on her, she still takes the time to take a potshot at the line of androids that replaced her.
  Sidney: I'm Warfare Whitney, you can't trust me!

On the Run in the Martini Nebula

• Brennan describing Gnosis's symbol as a "flattened spiral", and the cast's dawning, horrified realization that Gnosis is Clippy.
  Siobhan: You're fired!
  Brennan: Folks, that's it for Dimension 20. My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan, it's been a great show, take care.

Dying Tomorrow, It's a Pleasure

• Barry's quick turnaround on Kublacaine.
  Barry: I just wanna say, the Barry Battalion is against drugs, except steroids.
  Sidney: Well this is like steroids.
  Barry: Interesting, I'll have some.

Wallops at Swallop's

• Riva is so excited in the adrenaline rush of victory, they start Naruto running up and down the street "like a child with too much energy."

Baustin Skiffy Limits

• An Amercadian soldier makes a very wise decision after hitting Barry for four points of damage.
  Barry: You absolute fool. It's like you want to get thrown from a skiff.
  Soldier: Haha, well, we'll see about that! [jumps off the fucking skiff]

It's a Grivarr World After All

• Margaret discards her business suit for tourist attire to go undercover on the Grivarr Worlds, leading to a Brick Joke involving her slapping and then kissing people in rapid succession, after Sid expresses doubts about whether her creator would judge her for the choices she's made and Barry Syx questioning whether he is capable of what Barry Nyne was due to their shared clone lineage. Gunnie lampshades that this is the first time he's disapproved of her behaviour as co-owner of the ship.

  • The above slap-kiss incident leads to a scenario where the female/nonbinary crew members of The Wurst, Princeps Zortch and Dr Castor get drawn into a protracted cycle of slapping and kissing each other; Gunnie pleads in vain for them to stop and to "not normalise that behaviour" - Sid instantly slaps and kisses him in response.

• Idiosyncratic Ship Naming: K.P.

Go Big or Go Home

• The Gunner Channel are discussing ways to make a fake Gnosis to trade to the Repo Reapers in exchange for canceling Gunnie's debt. Skip's first suggestion is "wrap Aurora Nebbins in tin foil".
• Sidney gets into habit of feeding Aurora terrapin (sand turtle that breeds as fast as cockroach) legs. By ripping the leg off of a live terrapin. Barry immediately shoots the terrapin with a laser pistol, as it became a habit to him to euthanize the turtle the moment it looks like the leg is coming off and calls himself angel of mercy.
  Allie(out of character): Oh my god why? Why?
  Gunnie: Feed the whole thing! Just feed the whole thing!

The House Always Wins

• Barry has to make an athletics check to get out of the grapple with Brutus, or most likely take max falling damage and die as he plummets to the bottom of the arena. Brian Murphy rolls, checks his sheet, sighs, rests his head on his hand...
  Brian Murphy, taking off his sunglasses: It's only a 28.

The Luckless, the Abandoned, and the Forsaked, pt 1

• The Wurst is surrounded by literally every enemy from the sixteen past episodes. They all call up the ship up and start demanding things (Norm, Zortch, Gnosis, etc). Riva takes each call with perfect cheer and politeness verging on the lightly snarky, and tells each and every one of them to "please hold!" Gust Weatherall doesn't even get to finish his threats before they cut him off.

The Luckless, the Abandoned, and the Forsaked pt. 2

• Barry's talk with Barry Nyne is mostly just heartwarming as the two finally reunite as Barrys. The funny comes when Murph manages to fit the word "Barry" in his monologue 21 times in the space of about 30 seconds.
• Brennan describes a tense, pitched fight for control of a body in the vents of the Wurst. Riva on the bridge then sees the filthy body of Loose Duke leap out of the vents. The cast immediately starts shouting at Brennan in rage.
  • Ally fully throws their character sheet at Brennan's head.
  • Zac Oyama's response is some Large Ham gold.
  Zac: NOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOO!!! Loose Duke... is loose!

Coffin Run

Series

Episode 1: Down for the Count

• The montage of the terrible things Dracula's letter goes through, until it's barely a letter by the time it arrives.

Episode 3: Let's Kill Everybody

• Florina's pitch for why the Fang Gang should hire her: she gets up on a crate and gives a business-esque presentation, complete with charts.
• Squing and May discussing what kind of people they want to eat sounds exactly like trying to decide what they want for takeout, including agreeing that they'll split a redhead like an order of fries.

Episode 4: Waylaid by Werewolves

• Squing keeps trying to make a joke about "I've heard of a CAT scan, but..." regarding the werewolves, but can't come up with a punchline because he doesn't understand what a CAT scan is. The gag is finally capped off when Aleksandr realizes that one of the werewolves looks extremely familiar.
  Aleksandr: You...ever hear of a CAT scan...?
  Squing: Yeah, what is it?
  Aleksandr: THE DOG IS MY WIFE!!!
  [entire table corpses, Jasmine Bhullar almost chokes on her coffee]

A Court of Fey and Flowers

• The Lords of the Wing.
  • They repeatedly blow kisses to the sky whenever they mention their Grandfather, the inventor of birds—then quickly specify that he’s not dead, just perpetually flying overhead.

A Bloom to Remember

• The entirity of Hob's introduction—at the ask from the Dungeon Master, Brendan snaps to attention in his chair. At a frantic, chaotic Goblin Rumpus, Hob stands at attention, guarding everyone...and promptly has chicken bones shoved in his mouth by Salt Goblins and the Goblin King also sticks in a live quail. Hob swallows it with aplomb. The King then intructs him to Rumpus, to join the fun. Hob thinks on Goblin Code...which is that "a goblin never does as he is told!" So Hob continues to stand at attention...before suddenly hurling his halberd through another goblin, panicking at injuring a fellow, and then as soon as the person is confirmed to be okay proceeds to beat the living hell out of them. He then firmly promises to avegenge the Vicountess Grabalba's honor, before diving back into the fray, with Brendan miming biting someone.
• The Lords of the Wing arrive at the Bloom on ostrich chariots pulled by doves. When the party questions exactly how many doves are needed to pull an ostrich, Aabria asks Emily and Lou to roll 3d10 resulting in 18 and 25 doves respectively.
  Hob: I know that's a lot of doves, but it seems like it should be more doves, frankly.

The Great Hart Hunt

• In an attempt to get one over on Rue, they plan an elaborate series of mind games for a tea party, including sawing down the legs of one of their chairs so Rue will have to look up at them, and ensuring they’re served tea rather than water. However, they bungle sawing the legs off of the chair so badly they decide to have their cassowaries “kick the shit out of it” to get rid of the evidence.

Squak: Birds! Destroy that chair!!

Duel on the Southern Lawn

• Andhera interrupting the duel in nothing but cotton pants. While a miniature storm cloud rains over his head.

Seaside Teatime

• Wanessa
  • Brennan as Captain Hob begins climbing onto and crawling across the table, grinning and staring unsettlingly at Wanessa and laughing maniacally, terrifying the poor girl. Brennan later explained that this was due to her presence triggering his goblin instinct to terrorise humans.
  Hob: aRe YoU a HuMaN BeInG? yOu WoUlDn'T sAy!

Through The Hedge Maze

• After revealing themselves to Rue, BINX has a heart-to-heart which ends with her asking Rue to return the key she gave them as a gift. She promptly begins stomping on it, as it was cursed (BINX didn't like them at the time), and their heart-to-heart rapidly dissolves into chaotic yelling.

Of One Mind

• The Green Hunter

The Masquerade Ball

• BINX makes a stunning debut to the Masquerade— only to receive a summons for help from her kobold warlock and immediately slips away to the restroom to answer it in secret. As she is the one who found the Crystal Heart in the Hedge Maze, she must start the dance at the ball— which means everyone else is left standing around waiting when she slams the bathroom door open again.
  Squak: Cousin, I think she’s announcing she’s just taken a shit!
  Chirp: Ooh, well she’ll certainly be light on her feet then!
  • Rue and Hob, seeing the tension between Andhera and Binx, attempt to trip the two towards each other so they’ll have the first dance together. Unfortunately Brennan and Oscar roll so poorly that Rue and Hob come off as attacking the other fey rather than helping.
  Squak: Are we fighting right now?! (Immediately turns and punches a waiter)
  • Alone on the dance floor, Binx ends up opening the ball by doing the cha-cha slide…and gets all the high and mighty fey and archfey to join in.

The Rule of Sneakery

Theater of War

You Will Never Know A Lonely Day Again

• The Pack of Pixies have won the day. All seems well. Hob goes to Prince Andhera, incredibly confused about what exactly is going on with Rue, not knowing where he stands with them and knowing that the prince just recently had a stint of mind reading that might provide him insight into whether they have feelings for him too or not. Andhera tells the truth - that he hadn't wanted to be impertinent or impolite so he tried to not read too deeply but had, indeed gotten a vibe. Hob, ever socially awkward, doesn't get what that means so he persists. And by persists,I mean Brennan, in character, grabs Andhera's player around the shoulders, and physically shakes him while yelling "Be More Specific!" In what can only be described as utterly hilarious desperation.
• Earlier, the meta of setting up the attack on Prince Apollo has to be seen to be fully appreciated. Lord Squak is dealing with the Prince so that the Pack of Pixies have time to deal with him and the portal that needs dealing with. Squak doing arcana checks while seducing the Prince is already hilarious, but the true crowner happens on Brennan’s turn when he asks if the Prince would, under the rules of DND combat, count as prone due to Squak’s and his… positioning. (Lou then states that he should have thought of that and gotten him on his knees, but he’d been too busy trying to get his clothes off hoping it would bring down his armor class or proficiency bonus! Which Aabria had agreed to!) Aabria literally puts her hands to her face in laughter but eventually concedes that, yea, ok, the Prince is indeed, sexually prone. He then continues by asking if he also counts as surprised. Essentially, he’s Rules Lawyering for the good of the party, and it is hilarious! This then leads into an Awesome Moment when the Rules Lawyering turns out not to have been needed because Brennan roles rolls 2 Natural 20s, leading to a critical hit, one shot killing the Prince.

Neverafter

• After Ylfa performs a Barehanded Blade Block when a scuffle with Bandlebridge's guards breaks out, Timothy decides to help her by whapping him with his broom.
  Timothy: Hi-YA!
  [Ally rolls a 7]
  Lord Bandlebridge: Okay, let's call it here!
  • Not to mention the events leading up to said scuffle: Pinocchio lying about being the “Prince of Shoeburg”, dropping f-bombs the whole time while oblivious to the guards pulling out their daggers, and even begging them to shoot Ylfa when she pulls him back to safety; with everyone coining the new alignment, “Chaotic Entitled”.
• Ylfa's conversation with her "grandmother". Highlights include using the words "honking big" to describe grandma's ears and straying off the path because she was following a catterpillar that was chasing a butterfly.
  Grandma: A catterpillar that was chasing a butterfly?! I mean... how?!
• Rosamund attempts to summon woodland creatures to help her gather food Disney-Princess style, but thanks to their traveling through a cursed forest and her player rolling a natural 1, she instead gets a shrieky-voiced featherless ostrich who acts indignant when she says she doesn't actually need its help.
• When the party reunites in episode 5, Pib is notably more bedraggled and world weary, and is missing a chunk of his ear. Ylfa interprets this as him getting neutered. This leads to a bewildered outburst from Rosamund.
  Rosamund: What happened to your dick and balls?
• Rosamund talking with a traumatized mouse (it makes sense in the context)
  Rosamund: No, I am not a young lass. I'm actually 118.
  Mouse: You're 118? You look great!
  Rosamund: Thank you so much.
• Gerard, due to a series of unfortunate rolls, ends up being resurrected with the glass spear still stuck in his chest. While that is horrifying, the funny part comes next episode, when he enters a tavern loudly demanding someone get the spear out of him.
• In episode 7, the party returns to Tuffeton to clean up the chaos left behind by a monstrous Miss Muffet. Mother Goose keeps the spider-faced girl occupied by giving her a pep talk... which is repeatedly interrupted by the townsfolk screaming as they're being rescued from cocoons.
  • Ally's voice gradually gets more strained from holding back their laughter. This also happens to make Mother Goose sound more and more frustrated with each interruption.
  • On a similar note, the cover-up story that the party tells the townsfolk is that it was an "adult sleepover" gone wrong. It's just as silly as you'd expect.
• Rosamund's new outlook on true love - or more accurately, the lack of true love - is quite funny. Especially when she says incredibly dreary things with as much innocent cheer as she can muster.
• After getting engaged to the Baron of Bricks so the party can get into his compound to find the Big Bad Wolf, Rosamund clumsily breaks up with him once they get to the Wolf and his boss fight starts.
  The Baron: It's—it's not because of my giant boar-themed mech, is it?
  Rosamund: No, it's actually more that you're boiling an animal alive!
  • Keep in mind, this is after Rosamund and her "entourage" continually wore down his patience by asking invasive questions, making poorly-timed jokes, and generally disrupting his solitude. If anything, the Baron barely acknowledges the breakup as a bad thing.
• When beholding Koschei's Death, Brennan describes it as smelling grotesque. Pib, being a cat, does the Flehmen response (the "stinky smell" face) as soon the smell is addressed.
  • And Zac keeps making the face for a solid minute. It's quite goofy-looking.
• Mother Goose has a very important conversation with Scheherazade regarding the existence of other realms, while the rest of the party is dancing in varying manners, in particular, Pinnochio using his nose as a stripper pole and doing a full death drop. Mother Goose has to actively focus on his conversation.
  • There's a smaller moment after the conversation where he refers to Gerard as "literally the only other adult in the party"^note Rosamund is over a century old but biologically 18 due to her curse, Pinnochio and Ylfa are both about 12 years old, and Pib is a cat.
• At Snow White's command, the Northern Wind uses his magic to help carry the party to the Isle of Toys. This seems fine, but as Brennan explicitly states, "there is nothing pleasant about it". The trip lasts for a day and a half, and everyone but Pinocchio has a comically miserable time. Pib yowls pathetically, Gerard starts dry-heaving at some point, everyone screams as their body functions start to betray them. Even the ethereal Cricket is caught in the chaos.
  Cricket: Oh god! Aaaah! I'm shittin'! I'm shittin'! I haven't taken a shit in a hundred years!
  • And everyone takes at least 37 points of damage when they crash-land in the water. Talk about a rough flight.
• During the battle in Episode 13, the Sea Witch arrives with very little preamble and is unable to participate very much in the battle. When the possibility of her being attacked by the Terrible Dogfish comes up, the cast immediately jokes about the Black Comedy possibility of her arriving and immediately dying before a proper introduction, especially because that is exactly what happened to the Mer King. They particularly joke about her arriving with the line “Get ready to get to know me!” before immediately being killed.
• Thanks to a great roll from Siobhan, it becomes canon that Rosamund is trained in sleep eating!
• The first hour of Episode 15, Leap of Faith, pretty much in its entirety. Right at the end of the previous episode, Rosamund discovers that at least some of the princesses are planning to basically destroy all of existence in order to avoid being stuck permanently in a story over which they have no control. The party splits to try and gather information and give themselves an excuse to leave without rousing suspicion. With the exception of Pib, who focuses pretty much entirely on prepping the horses for their departure, every. Single. Member. Of. The party. Epically fumbles their attempt at social interaction.
  • It starts out very badly with Ylfa and Gerrard, the party members who dump-statted Charisma, flailing horrendously. But even once things shift to the party members for whom Charisma is either a core stat or, in Rosamund's case, at least not providing a negative modifier, it just goes further and further sideways.
  • The whole thing culminates in the party pelting away from the castle for dear life on horseback, with Timothy having a message exchange with Rapunzel in which she tells him that she will "choke the life out of you, you simpering old fool." As someone observes, it's like Fabian's Very Bad Day for the whole party.
• After a failed attempt at diplomacy, Rosamund uses a spell (Ice Knife) designed to hit several medium creatures against a squad of tiny Lilliputians. It's like using a weapon intended to hit and hurt a group of Godzillas against a group of hobbits. She ends up rolling 10+6 damage on the leader and six damage on the guys around him. Tiny creatures have maximum of 8 hit points with the average being 5, so that six damage is possibly survivable, but the leader is dead for sure. Only for Brennan to tell her that those are tiny creatures and he is using swarm rules, so everybody gets hit for the full 22 damage.
  • Brennan proceeds to describe the resulting carnage in all its gory details. In particular, the last survivor of the whole phalanx of archers has his legs ripped off, screams that the giants have come to kill them all, and then promptly dies from blood loss and shock. The rest of the party proceed to rib her about it and call her a bully, much to her frustration.
• The table gets a wonderful redux of Murph's absolute disaster of a lair action during episode 18. Brennan tells the table that they need to make a contested roll against him, and gives the players a chance to decide who does the roll for the group. Murph announces he'll cover it while he is already rolling, and rolls a 5. The number they needed to beat was an 8.
  • Murph lets out a horrified choking noise when he sees how poor his roll was, and the rest of the table immediately chimes in with outrage and disbelief.
  • It turns out, the difference between the numbers dictates how many rounds away the party is from the main boss fight. It's not as bad as it could be, but they're three rounds behind the opposing team. For the boss battle. Bad luck doesn't even begin to cover it.
  • In the accompanying Adventuring Party, everyone lampshades how similar it was to the lair action from Sophomore Year, with Brennan directly quoting Murph's iconic line from that episode.
• In the 19th Adventuring Party, the cast spends most of the episode admiring the minis and the set for the final battle. It quickly devolves into most of them getting a little too interested in the fairies' minifigures.
  • Murph is the only one not to chime in. In fact, he actively avoids encouraging the rest of the group, resorting to physically ignoring the minis after a while.
  • They really start to devolve after Ally mentions a cut section of the show episode where they unintentionally mention a... suggestive term, which ends up setting the tone for the next 8 minutes. Of a 25-minute episode.
• Ylfa and Pinnochio becoming an Official Couple... ten years after the events of the campaign, in the last 5 minutes of the show. More specifically, they have a very awkward conversation over gin rummy where Pinnochio asks about Ylfa's now long dead grandmother and Ylfa asks about Toy Island. Ylfa then goes in for a kiss.

The Ravening War

• Matt's first word of narration calling back to Brennan's first word of narration in Exandria Unlimited: Calamity.
  Matt: Water. (Brennan, Lou, and Aabria immediately start cracking up)
• Delissandro tells Colin, who is not used to working with nobility and generally pretty socially inept, to announce him and his mother upon their arrival in Comida, leading to this awkward attempt:
  Colin: Hello, one and all! Introducing, from the Meatlands... You know 'em and you love 'em. The chieftess and her son!
  • He follows this up by giving Delissandro a double thumbs-up through the window of his carriage. The entire table breaks hard at this whole scene for a good minute or so.
• The entire exchange between Delissandro and Senator Ariana is absolutely hilarious to see unfold, especially when Ariana asks Delissandro when she asks him if they could "slam it down, big-style" when she visits the Meat Lands. Lou is clearly seen trying to hold it in while the rest of table laugh hysterically at this.
• Raphaniel subtly casts Detect Thoughts during the gathering to get a bead on various peoples' surface thoughts. Brennan turns this into comedy by treating all the horny energy into blows to his face, as if being bowled over. The exchange between Delissandro and Ariana in particular has him floundering and shouting "I am dying!"
• Sirley and Delissandro suddenly have a conversation about losing their virginities, to which the former states to the latter to keep his expectations low. The whole conversation must been seen to be believed.
  Sirley: It's very important to set a bar of expectation. Sometimes it's not so much big-style, it's very small-style.
  • It’s confirmed in the following Adventuring Party that Delissandro spent the ride out from the Meatlands wrestling with this revelation to the point of tears, and telling himself “Sirley just didn’t do it with the right person”.
• When plotting together during the two year timeskip, Karna and Bishop Raphaniel must meet up in a Bulbian Church. Throughout the entire conversation, Karna, a worshipper of The Hungry One has to stop herself from gagging every time she says anything even vaguely Bulb-related to keep her cover.
• Bishop Raphaniel’s growing obsession with Colin Provolone, due to the fact that there is no information available on him.
  Raphaniel: Come on Provolone, where do you come from, and where are you going, little cheese knight?
  • Somewhere in the Meatlands, Colin shudders.
• The revelation of Amangeaux’s secret grape baby who she clearly loves and cherishes? Heartwarming. That same grape baby immediately spitting up on her shoulder when picked up? Hilarious.
• At the very end of the first Adventuring Party, Matt casually mentions that the name of the Fellowship of Destiny's Architects, the Illuminati-like organization that is blackmailing the PCs, abbreviates to the FDA, causing the rest of the group to freak out as they realize the pun.
• In the tents before the morning of the big battle, the increasingly insane Raphaniel spends the night awake, muttering to himself, and at one point goes over to Colin's tent. The exchange that follows, with Brennan's commitment to the bit and Zac playing Colin's nonplussed reaction, has the table cracking up.
  Raphaniel: (freaky little noise)
  Colin: "Ah! Do you need something?"
  Raphaniel: "No, no. No, no, no."
  Colin: (shooing him) "Go away. Eat a snack or something, you're okay."
• In episode 5, Matt's love of calling back to previous seasons strikes again when the group encountering a particular enemy leads to this:
  Zac: Is this my fucking dad?
  • This leads to another extremely silly scene where the group stops to try and comfort Colin only to discover they're all terrible at it.
  Raphaniel: If you lose what you love, then haven't you... lost what you had?
• One of the enemies the group encounters in the tunnels during episode 5 is a gravy covered biscuit man with perhaps the silliest voice Matthew Mercer has ever done. What takes it to the next level is this gem that completely breaks the other players:
  Brennan: For the first time in his life, Raphaniel understands physical arousal.
  • Even better? On the following Adventuring Party, it's noted that the character is named Flakey Smuthers and was Zac's backup character.
• Deli's speech towards Ariana as he calls her out for her manipulative behavior? Utterly heartwrenching. Lou somehow incorporating how he wanted to be "slammed-down big-style as the Bulb rose" for his first time with Ariana while still sounding completely serious? Hilarious.
  • Raphaniel questions on the side how Deli is still a virgin as he's doing this.
• During the final battle, Karna positions herself by both the Avatar of Deus'Paazul and Senator Ariana. She lands a strong hit on the Avatar, fuelled by her dedication to the Hungry One... then gives the Senator a quick stab because she sees her as a romantic rival for Deli.
  Brennan: I fuckin love 40 points of religious retribution and 8 points of petty.
• After Raphaniel’s death, Colin’s turn is next. All Zac can do is scream repeatedly.
  Deli: Steel yourself, Colin! Steel yourself!
  Colin: This is me steeling myself!

Dungeons and Drag Queens

• With four first-time players, a lot of humor comes from their general unfamiliarity with the game mechanics and rules....especially Jujubee, who is prone to forgetting the names of her characters' friends and family.
• Brennan introduces two of Twyla's fellow fairy soldiers in her backstory, Martha and Alvin (like Twyla, named after noted choreographers). Jujubee instantly jokes that Alvin is a chipmunk, and Brennan "yes ands", adopting a squeaky voice and a lascivious personality.
  • The chipmunk ends up doing poppers.
• Later on in Twyla's backstory, a dying Alvin hands Jujubee the Seed of the Allblossom, the last remaining item that would be able to bring back the fae people - Jujubee the player misunderstands the story as the origin of Twyla's fairy wings, and subsequently has Twyla eat the seed, to the shock of everyone both out-of-character and in-character.
• Troyánn explains to the group that there is a mark at the upcoming tavern that she needs to kill - Twyla misunderstands this as there being someone named Mark at the tavern that she needs to kill:
  Troyánn: There is a mark at the tavern that I need to kill.
  Twyla: Mark What?
  Troyánn: One of my marks that I need to kill.
  Twyla: Mark Davidson, Mark...?
  Troyánn: ...Mark Ronson.
  • And further on:
    Troyánn: Also, he's a bad person, he's committed a lot of crimes in this town.
    Gertrude: What kind of crimes?
    Troyánn: Grand larceny.
    Gertrude:...Mark Ronson?
    Twyla: Who'd he steal from?
    Troyánn: [beat] Paula Abdul.
  • And finally:
    Twyla: So every time she goes out, she's like "two steps forward, one step back".
    Gertrude: It takes her a very long time to get to the tavern.
• Jujubee finds out that her character Twyla doesn't actually have powers of true invisibility, which she quickly turns into a character moment in the best way possible.
  Twyla: So Twyla walks around with her hand in her skirt and you guys don't say anything?!
  Gertrude: Oh we've been seeing you.
  Troyánn: We've been seeing you, girl.
• Troyánn summons an undead whale to transport the party across the River of Sorrows. This leads to a sequence of events where they are attacked by angry undead and Princess is reunited with her uncle in an emotional moment...and then Troyánn remembers she had the Water Walk spell, which could have gotten them across the river without any trouble.
  Troyánn: I wanna apologize to everyone, because I realize that I fucked up.
• Monet makes intermittent attempts to have Troyánn speak in a British accent for her character, to the amusement of Bob and Jujubee.
• Jujubee creating an on-the-spot commercial for Twyla's healing services:
  Twyla: Injured? Call me! I'm Twyla!
• The queens return to the shop where, not three hours ago, they had tried unsuccesfully to rob Nyrath the shopkeeper.
  Nyruth: Welcome to Nyruth's....(sees the Queens) Un. Real.
• In the Tower of Tombs, Twyla reunites with the Fairy Queen, Titania, who has been trapped within a tapestry.
  Queen Titania: Do I now dream, or do you yet live?
  Twyla: ...what?
  Gertrude: Bitch, are you alive?
• Princess has an lengthy villain monologue leveled at her by her enemy in the plot, including a breakdown of their motivation and goals. Her response? She shrugs.
  Gertrude: A woman of few words.
• Princess revealing at the very end of the campaign that her growling, monosyllabic character voice was the result of laryngitis and she actually speaks perfectly normally.
  Princess: I would like... [coughs] ...sorry. I would like...
  Brennan: [laughing] No! No! No!
  Alaska: She just had a sore throat.
  • Made even better by Brennan "Yes, and"-ing the bit and making Princess's father Ronarian have the same issue, revealing that all of the Foehammers had caught laryngitis and were also highly allergic to the cedar smoke from when they died.

Mentopolis

• Right from the get-go in Episode 1, it's established what to expect from the series. As Brennan puts it, "There's gonna be a lotta puns in this one!"
  Brennan: How does it rain inside of a brain!? That's for you to decide!
  Trapp: A brainstorm!
  (table reacts)
  Brennan: Goddammit, I am writing that down.
• Also right from the get-go, the Running Gag about Stacy Fakename and their sister Joanna Fakename. And then it turns out Stacy Fakename is a wanted criminal in Mentopolis, though whether it’s really her or just hundreds of people using her name is debatable.
  • Further compounded by the fact that the Flight response of the brain is the real Stacy Fakename but it's implied that she only uses the name because she was in a hurry to make up an alias after the responses were removed from power in Mentopolis.
• Dan Fucks treating Conrad Schintz as his mortal enemy.
  Imelda: Mr. Fucks, I don’t suppose you’ve seen a young urchin hanging around here, have you?
  Dan: Oh, who, Conrad, that little shit?!
  Imelda: Conrad! That’s probably—
  Dan: My mortal enemy. How dare you invoke his shitty name in my club?!
  Imelda: Your mortal enemy’s a child?
  Dan: Yes!
  Imelda:…That tracks, actually.
• Dan Fucks pretending to assault Wilton the Pleasure Courir as a distraction for Anastasia, only to pull him into a hug and ask how his family is doing. From there, the conversation turns to plotting a worker’s revolution.
  Dan: The revolution is coming, brother!
  Wilton: We’re drowning in cum down here!
• The Fix attempting to break the ice with the same fun facts that he uses to do his job.
• When set upon by gangsters at De’Lux Industrial, Dan Fucks manages to convince one that Conrad has escaped through the sheer hatred in his voice.
  Gangster: Heh, I’ll remember that you did a favor for for ol’ Johnny Gullible!
  • Even during the next scene, he’s still outside looking for Conrad.
• Hunch trying and failing to use the Fix’s fun facts in an interrogation. His next option is to recall a time when Dan Fucks gave him advice on intimidating people ^note  as Dan’s skill Sage Motivator lets any ally succeed so long as they remember a ‘pep talk’ he gave them and Hunch ends up insulting the man out of existence.
• Hunch's solution to save Elias from his impeding death? Touch his balls of course!^note For context, Elias has an odd buzzing sensation on his crotch area, which is later revealed in episode 4 to be a grappling hook. Imelda immediately slaps him twice and calls him a madman.
• Most of the Prefontal PI’s are trying to convince Conrad not to give himself up to the DA out of misplaced guilt. Most of. Dan Fucks is entirely and vocally supportive of Conrad’s plan to get himself killed.
  Conrad:This time it’s different, because this time I think it’s the right thing to do! Because if maybe we don’t have me anymore, maybe then Elias will be safe.
  The Fix: Yeah, I think you’re wrong.
  Dan Fucks: Connie, my boy, I think you’re speaking sense for the first time in your life!
  • After The Fix gives an inspirational speech which finally gets through to Conrad, all the others are nodding encouragingly. Cut to Dan frowning and shaking his head in disagreement.
• Conrad’s continued struggles with saying Dan’s last name.
• Imelda getting to see Anastasia’s apartment. She tries to be complimentary about the place.
  • While waiting for Anastasia’s key to defrost, a sudden knock at the door heralds the police, looking for Imelda. How does Anastasia hide her in a tiny, one room apartment? By covering her in discarded newspapers and hats of course!
    • Siobhan actually rolls so high on her sneak, it works. Cue the police using Anastasia’s “weird sculpture” as a hat and coat rack.
• The reveal that Conrad is only calm when behind the wheel.
• Dan tries to convince the shock troopers that Elias is finally having sex. Freddie rolls a 2 on a DC 14 Slick check. Cue the shock troopers pummeling Dan.
• In a simultaneously awesome moment for The Fix, he accidentally intimidates one of the Las Vagus casino employees into causing Elias' body to shit itself so that he can relax as he's literally flying through the air. Against all odds, it works, lowering Elias' stress by 85 points as he's flying through the air.
  The Fix: I just said to take a deep breath!
• In the police station, Hunch and The Fix meet Pasha N., a forensic scientist who files stimuli in the evidence locker. Then it’s revealed she’s just as into facts as The Fix.
  Mike Trapp: Can I roll to see how horny the Fix is right now?
  Brennan Lee Mulligan: Yeah that’ll be a snoop check of one.
• Thanks to Freddie's improbable luck with a Sneak roll of 31 (on a DC of 10 mind you), not only does Dan manage to slip out of his handcuffs, he apparently gets out of them so forcefully that it flings into Chief Tightass's brain, instantly killing him. After doing the math, Brennan has to take a moment to comprehend the sheer improbability of it.
  Dan: Gentlemen, witness Houdini manifest!
• In the finale we get to see Brennan as Elias Hodge summarize the events of the season to his coworkers as he interrupts an office birthday party.
  Elias: This company’s evil! Don’t you get it? It’s absolutely evil! I jumped out a window and shit myself! Mr. Henry’s as good as dead, I think. I don’t know, I didn't check. This is my cake now! *sticks his finger in the icing licks it clean then starts flipping his coworkers off in one smooth motion* Fuck you all!

Burrow’s End

Series

Episode 1: The Red Warren

• Within a minute of starting the game, Siobahn and Isabella, who are playing siblings, make multiple rolls to attack one another. Brennan laments that he's been trying to get PvP to happen for years^note His first attempt was in Escape from the Bloodkeep, which aired four years before this season and this is how it finally happens.
• When Ava starts trying to nudge Tula towards getting together with Walmer by talking about how respectable he is, Tula responds with how of course their venerable elders deserve respect and how she views him as a grandfather, despite them being about the same age.
• Even as the dust storm starts to settle in on the Red Warren, and visibility starts to decline, Ava thinks it's related to her age, but she looks on the bright side...

  Ava: "Well, that's okay. I've still got my scent, my memory, my sense of touch, and my memory."

• Brennan and Rashawn hit on the idea of trying to escape down a newer tunnel in the warren, even suggesting tunnels they dug as children, but Aabria has to point out that stoats don't dig tunnels. The warren had been taken over by the stoats after they invaded and ate the rabbits that actually dug it out.

  Erika: Ah yes. The Curtises. (dismayed noise)
  Aabria: You gave them names— as you were eating them?!

Episode 2: Bearing the Scars

• Tula's Divine Sense. For reference, Divine Sense normally lets paladins detect celestials, fiends, and undead, but as Brennan points out, they're in a setting that probably doesn't have those. So...

  Brennan: Can I use Divine Sense to detect my children?
  Aabria: I think maybe Jaysohn counts as a fiend... What does it look like as Tula activates this ability?
  (Brennan concentrates)
  Izzy: (interrupting) "Jaysohn's right here!"
  Brennan: (Beat) "Thank you, sweetie." (to Aabria) It looks like that.

• Erika mentions that the bone her character's cane is made of is a baculum^note The bone some mammals have in their penis.

Episode 3: A Second Sun

Episode 4: Last Bast

Episode 5: Protect the Light

Episode 6: Reactor Charlie

Episode 7: The First Stoats

Episode 8: Five

Episode 9: Human

• Viola's instinctual opening line when making first contact with humans is a remarkable casual "Hey, girl, hey!"

Episode 10: Evolution and Revolution

• The incident of Jasper reacting to the declaration of a lair action and everything that follows.

  Aabria: Lair action...
  Jasper: No, that's okay.
  Aabria: Huh?
  Jasper: It's okay, you don't have to do that.
  Aabria: You don't have to?
  Brennan: [laughs uproariously]
  Aabria: That threw me off so fucking much.
  Brennan: The authority of, I was like, that, whatever that was made me be like [mimes talking into a producer earpiece] "Aabria, Jasper says no on this."
  Aabria: Yeah, "Oh, tell him I'm so sorry."
  Erika: It's the accent!
  Aabria: Yeah, the fucking British accent confers authority.
  Jasper: Came from such a deep sense of fear, that was where it was coming from.
  Siobhan (also British): Yes, exactly, the accent. It comes from such a deep sense of fear.
  Brennan: I've never seen someone who's being faced with fucking death and ruin with a voice of like, "I'm going to send this back to the kitchen, because this was not very good."

• Turning a heavy and dramatic moment, things get completely derailed when Ava mentions ice cream and Aabria has to put her foot down and say that these stoats don't know what ice cream is. Erika counters by saying the truck that killed Kenji was an ice cream truck, which Aabria finds so funny she declares it canon.
• Combined with Moment of Awesome, but Rashawn's flavor narration from her first of two crits in Viola's final turn, when she takes down the first revenant human and everything that follows.

  Rashawn: You husk of a waste of space! And I hack off the arm, and then I climb up the shoulder and I chop off at the elbow, and I chop into the head, and I slice off the arm and I slice off the other arm— I freakin' debone this motherfucker and I spatchcock his ass. I lay him out, I cut his spine and I push down on his breastplate and he's fucking flatten him out, he'll cook in forty minutes!
  (table cheers wildly)
  Brennan: My sister just invented cooking!
  Aabria: (to Erika) We're proficient in cooking tools, because your daughter just invented how to cook! To. Serve. Man., let's go!
  Erika: How long have you been waiting for that one?!
  Aabria: Forever!

  • And then...
    Rashawn: Bonus action...
    (group laughs and screams at the fact there's more)
  • Rashawn decides to have Viola kick the trigger of the revenant's gun as he falls, to try to hit one of the other bad guys. She rolls a Natural 20.
    Jasper: (yelling) THAT'S. MY. WIFE!!!

Adventuring Party

Stotal Recall

• While thanking the prop department, Aabria mispronounces Greg Pinsonault's name as...

  Brennan: Just so very unfortunate that you did say Greg Penis.

• Erika's pitch for Ava was "if generational trauma was a stoat."

Does a Bear Get Eaten Out in the Woods?

• The episode begins with Brennan reading off the list of people who made the horrifying bear board to tell them they're nasty, and is horrified to discover they're actually listed by what internal organs of the bear they helped make. Erika also spends this time squeezing the bear's brain for fun.

Fantasy High: Junior Year

Episode 1: Sunday Scaries

• Fabian starts the battle by attempting to jump onto the roof of the Hangvan. His Dexterity is so high that all he has to do to not fail is roll a two or higher. He promptly rolls a natural 1, falls under the van, and only doesn't get hit by it out of luck.

Episode 2: Summer Breakdown

• Fabian rolls another natural 1 on a Dexterity save to stay on the van and promptly gets hit by it.
• The Bad Kids manage to capture the Night Yorb halfway through the fight. The rest of it is the remaining Yorbies attempting to free it while the heroes refuse to give a single fuck. The adrenaline crash after beating the Night Yorb mixed with the dawning horror that they wasted the entire summer hunting it—and that they'll have to keep doing stuff like this—puts them in a fugue state for the rest of the fight.
  • A group of ants blast Gorgug with acid for massive damage. He's more upset that they ruined his clothes.
  • One of the Yorbies manning a ballista gets a shot off on Fig. She knows she could Cutting Words it. She let's it happen anyway. The bolt rips through her hand and pins her to the side of the Hangvan. She barely reacts.
  • Two Yorbies pop up out of trapdoors extremely late in the fight, after all but one of other Yorbies have already been killed and almost a round and a half after the Night Yorb itself has been contained. As they take aim at Gorgug, one of them immediately rolls two natural ones on his attacks and his crossbow backfires, killing him instantly. Gorgug's only reaction to the one bolt that hits him is mild annoyance.
    • Murph has a laughing fit that lasts almost a minute and a half because "the Yorbies are so tactical, yet so late".
  • Fabian tries to show the last Yorbie alive a little mercy and let him escape or come back to Elmville with them, going so far as to offer the Yorbie an ice cream sandwich. As soon as he realizes that he's alone, the Yorbie throws the ice cream back in Fabian's face and tries to flee. He's immediately murdered by Fabian because of that disrespect.
    Fabian: (mid-stabbing) You didn't--have--to do that. You could--have had--an ice cream. I--want--to go home!

Episode 3: Not All Who Wanda Are Lost

• Riz and Kristen are introduced to Kipperlilly Copperkettle, a candidate for Student Council President. Kristen immediately asks if, with that kind of name, she's just four dogs.
• Kristen meets her parents for the first time in a year and a half and comes into the encounter with an absolutely insane energy. Ally describes the way Kristen leaves as "pirouetting".
  Mac Applebees: God of unknown, right? Well, there's some things we do know.
  Kristen: [in a strange, high-pitched voice] That's what you think! Bye, girlie!
  • Kristen's parents get disadvantage on all Insight checks against Kristen for the rest of their lives because of how utterly baffled they are by the interaction.

Episode 4: Under Pressure

• Kipperlilly Copperkettle's name slowly gets more and more corrupted through the episode. It's not clear if it's Malicious Misnaming, or if the Bad Kids just can't remember her actual name. Highlights include Kindlesnap Whatsherface and Kettlechip Krispykreme.
• The exact terms of Fabian's inheritance is revealed to him. He has millions of gold in trust, but if he tries to claim it as a lump sum, he'll only get a small portion of it, with the rest going to his enemies. Fabian genuinely considers it until he asks which enemies they mean, then backs out when he realizes that Chungledown Bim is both still out there and is on the list.
• Adaine manages to get a job at Oodles of Strudel: Home of the Strudel Dimension. Do not ask questions about the Strudel Dimension.
  • The Strudel Dimension is a demiplane that holds a single, seemlingly infinite line of strudel. The sole employee has no idea if its actually infinite and shuts down any questions involving the strudel or the long-term viabililty of their buisness.
• Gorthalax eventually tells the Bad Kids that Kipperlilly and the Rat Grinders have only ever killed rats, spiders, and twig gremlins in the Far Haven Woods outside the school, but they've killed around 80,000 of them and spend hours each day doing it. Riz completely loses it as he realizes that they're literally Level Grinding on rats.
  • As Siobahn puts it:
  Siobahn: (Barely containing her laughter) Wow. The bad guy this season is XP leveling.
  Lou: It's Milestone Vs XP: Junior Year!
  Brennan: Oops.
  • The Bad Kids's response to "Is chasing these kids out of spite the best use of your time?" is a Blunt "Yes".
• Kristen brings the same wild energy from meeting her parents to her talk with Ragh about Tracker, to Ragh's visible discomfort.
• Out of nowhere, Fig is approached by a knight on a beautiful white horse, who proclaims that he is the last remaining member of a thousand-year-old sacred order charged to pass down a scroll into Fig's hands. As he wanders off into the woods, wondering if it was all worth it and expressing regret over his extreme actions to protect the scroll, Fig opens it up. The scroll is just a mundane note from Ayda.

  Darling Paramour,

  Trip is going okay. Miss you lots and lots.

  P.S.: My dad keeps saying "basketti" instead of spaghetti and I said "is that a bit?" and he won't admit it's a bit, and it's driving me nuts.

• Despite being told it was irrelevant to her campaign because she’s only running for student government, Kristen decides to give a speech to the local steelworkers. Chaos ensues.
  • A forewoman tries to interrogate her about what she’s doing at the factory and is completely confused by the responses. Eventually Fig, acting as Kristen’s security detail, tackles the woman because her questions were “harming the president’s mood.”
  • Kristen then tries to run back to continue her speech, but running in a steel factory with a 4 dexterity causes her to clip her head on a buzzsaw.
  • The agent who’s been investigating Fig’s aliases walks in and inquires about the whereabouts of “Wanda Childa”. Fig successfully convinces him that she bought a one-way ticket to the Red Waste and he leaves without even reacting to the bleeding injury on Kristen’s head or the fact that Fig still has the forewoman in a headlock.
• Kristen and Bucky's conversation outside of school where Bucky confides in Kristen that he hasn't told their parents about the gold she left him and how he believes he's going to Hell for lying. Kristen's attempt to reassure him is interrupted by him looking at Fig who takes the opportunity to freak him out.
  Fig: Join us.
  • Bucky offers to help Kristen's campaign by spreading the word among his fellow freshmen, adding that he's already told them that they're going to Hell as a point in his favour.
  • Kristen's attempt to get information about the new Helioic cleric in the Ratgrinders party gets abruptly cut short when she refers to them as the Butt Fuckers. This causes Bucky to screech and sprint away from the school while Kristen begs him to come back.

Episode 6: Party Politics

• Adaine and Fabian self-destructing over the course of the night.
  • Both of them have a meet cute with the last two members of the Rat Grinders. Adaine's is mutually awkward. Fabian just bolts when realizes he's the one with less game. Both end up hiding in the fridge and chugging vodka milk.
  • Fabian slowly realizes what it means to be a Maximum Legend as his house gets trashed and people start throwing up on his lawn.
  • Adaine gets blackout drunk to cope with losing her job. This lets her ride high for about 10 minutes before spending the rest of the episode completely out of it.
  • Everyone but Fabian realizing he's in a Betty and Veronica situation with Mazey and Ivy. He immediately picks Ivy to everyone's disapointment. And then it turns out he did realize what was going on and just didn't care.
  • Gerdie Bladeshield, the softspoken head of Aguefort's Apiarists Society, pulls an immediate 180 the second Fabian insults her honey. It devolves into a fight where the rest of the Bad Kids do nothing to help him and buff Gerdie instead. The fight ends with her storming off as Fabian's Nemesis Alert registers a new enemy.
  Gerdie: Hey, fuck you man!
  Fabian: What-!?
  Gerdie: I don't give a shit whose kid you are!
  • Adaine casts unseen servant to make breakfast the next morning. Given its a mindless mini-tornado, the "meal" it makes is psudo-salad made of ripped up eggs and bread that Fig has to burn just to make sure its edible.
• Fig and Mazey's heartfelt conversation on Bardic Magic and the universe is interupted by Max Durden, blitzed out of his mind, rambling about his own inspired theory about the universe.

Episode 7: Stress Tested

• During the assembly at the start of the episode, where Acting Principal Grix brings out Agent Clark, Fig disguises herself as Kristen... and immediately gets made by Clark with a nat20 on his Perception check - Adaine hastily uses her portent rolls to give him a 2, leading to a protracted bit involving the Bad Kids arguing amongst themselves whilst Clark gives a long speech about disguise spells being "all fun and games until doppelgangers burn your nest", oblivious to the fact there are two of the same person sat next to each other in the audience.
  • During this speech, Gorgug tells Kristen to "change into Fabian", which amounts to Kristen first flexing and grunting like a jock, and then doing flowy interpretive dance moves when Fabian protests that the former was only accurate during sophomore year. Fabian tries to get Riz to "do something", which leads to Riz halfheartedly doing the Kugrash dance, which in turn sets the rest of the group off body-rolling to Fabian's chagrin.

Episode 8: Fracas at the Frostyfaire Folk Festival

• The ending.
  • It starts with Kristen, rather than choosing to help any of her downed party members, instead opts to interact with a random vulture on a whim (a Running Gag throughout the entire Fantasy High series).
  Brennan (When Kristen asks Cassandra to help her speak to the bird): Do you reach into a place of doubt and uncertainty?
  Ally: Yes. Abso-fucking-lutely, Brennan. Ally Beardsley is at a place of doubt and uncertainty with this move.
  • Then, when Kristen offers the vulture some bread, the vulture hits a Rage Breaking Point and sends the Bad Kids to the "Vulture Dimension," complete with Brennan pulling out a maxi of a nest of vulture feathers and the Dome displaying a "You are Entering the Vulture Dimension" graphic. The players (and likely the viewers as well) are completely and utterly BAFFLED at this turn of events. And that's where the episode ends.
  Zac: There was a carbon-monoxide leak in the Dome.
  —> Ally: There was a carbon-monoxide leak in the minis workshop.
  • Just to add to the confusion, the On the Next section give zero indication about what happens in the Vulture Dimension, leaving viewers with not even a hint of an explanation of what just happened.

Episode 11: A Very Merry Moonar Yulenear

• In contrast to Fig suddenly becoming cursed with incredible bad luck, Gilear is suddenly and inexplicably blessed with incredibly good luck... something he's incredibly freaked out by, to the point of being unable to sleep. Apparently he's:
  • Found a magic puppy that grants wishes.
  • Used said wishes to stop three consecutive apocalypses
  • Been given the key to the city too many times to count.
  • Been elected mayor.