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Dory: What are we talking about?
Nemo: Mommies and daddies.
Dory: Mommies and daddies, right. Why are we talking about mommies and daddies? Oh. Oh, that class. Why me? Okay, you guys seem really young, but... Okay, you see, kids, when two fish love each other...
Mr. Ray: And, we'll stop right there!

A conversation, usually between parent and child, about sex. May be occasioned by the question, "Where do babies come from?"

Comes in three flavors:

Awkward: A serious conversation that runs the gamut from mildly awkward to horribly painful, with the elder speaking nervously and the younger reaching for the Brain Bleach. The sexual acts and organs themselves are always described circumspectly. One frequent subversion is that the kid was asking for completely innocuous information, like what to put on the "Sex" line of a form.

Ironic: A humorous conversation in which the child proves to be far more versed in the subject than their parent, having already learned the Facts of Life from school, friends, and media, or even through firsthand experience. May end with the fascinated parents taking notes or interjecting "You can do that?" This subversion is common enough that it has become a trope in itself (which makes this an Undead Horse Trope).

Aborted: A serious conversation that is about to or already has started, but gets interrupted by something before it can start or finish respectively.

Most often found in Teen Dramas but also Played for Laughs in comedies.

Sometimes comic effect is added by the parent using toys (e.g., a G.I. Joe and a Barbie doll) as visual aids. (Please ignore the flaw in that arrangement...)

Occasionally, it's not played for laughs. This seems to be especially true when the child or teenager on the receiving end is a girl. She may be advised that her virginity is something that makes her valuable, and that losing it makes her lose that value... which she can never get back. She may be told that "boys only want one thing" (without any real specifics on what that is). She may even be taught that sex is bad or painful yet something she 'owes' to her husband, rather than a good thing that both partners can (and should expect to) enjoy.

A kid who's considered too young to know the Facts of Life might be told about the Delivery Stork instead. The parents may try to leave it to the school, at the risk of their child being subject to the Sex Miseducation Class.

Compare Sexual Euphemism. No relation to the all-female Talk Show of same name — for that, see here. Not to be confused with the other talk that a suitor may get from overprotective family or ex-lover.


Awkward Examples:

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    Advertising 
  • There was a Swedish ice cream manufacturer (whose trick was the fact that they drove up to your driveway, selling ice cream to the whole neighborhood) whose commercial showed a young boy showing a condom to his father and asking what it was and the father trying to figure out what to tell his son, only to be interrupted by the insane, yet addictive jingle that tells us that the ice cream truck is about, and then distracting the kid by offering him ice cream. Cut to the kid eating ice cream in front of the ice cream truck and showing the condom to another kid who also had a condom.
  • There's a Hyundai ad where a couple is going car shopping, and they go on an elevator that drops its passengers off in various unpleasant but necessary situations. The operator drops the couple off at a sleazy used car lot, only to learn that they're planning on buying a Hyundai, which will be a much better experience. Other "floors" include having a root canal, jury duty, the middle seat on an airplane, having a colonoscopy, and yes, The Talk.
  • There is McDonald's commercial where a young kid asks his father what sex is. They go to eat and you see him making gestures but don't hear what he says. After he's done the child says "all that goes here?" and shows a sign up sheet for soccer that was asking what his gender was.
  • McDonald's are obviously fond of this trope - they also had an ad in the UK where a man finally succeeds in deflecting his daughter's questions about where babies come from by suggesting a trip to McDonald's. Unfortunately, the girl still wants her dad to explain everything after she's had her food.
  • A PSA had a thirteen-year-old boy come home from school, only to find that his dad had set up a diagram to talk about sex. Dad gives the kid a choice: talk about drugs, or talk about sex. They decide to talk about drugs.
  • There is a really funny car ad in New Zealand, where a boy asks his father where he came from. The father then proceeds to explain to the son (with music playing on top of his words) while driving, with the help of visual innuendo and gestures. At the end, it doesn't end well.
  • A Nando's ad from Australia has a kid asking his father where came from. He responds with a golfing analogy, talking about how he sometimes gets a 'hole in one' (just as his wife returns to the table). The kid then says that he thought they came from England.
  • According to one blurb about The Most Interesting Man in the World: "He gave his father The Talk."
  • Parodied in a Progressive Insurance commercial in which Flo describes the process of bundling home and auto insurance in a manner that makes it sound a lot like sex, complete with sexy background music and a horrified mother holding her son's ears shut. Flo even asks the mother if she'd rather the kid "learned it on the streets."
  • This Public Service Announcement from porn actress Monique Alexander, telling parents to talk to their kids about sex (and how porn doesn't portray it realistically), or else kids will be getting their lessons from Internet porn. (Which doesn't teach them about how sex actually works, or birth control, or STI prevention, or healthy relationships, or consent, or positive body image, or treating women with respect.)
  • There exists somewhere a European advert for an instant pasta product where a father, after his son finds his copy of the Kama Sutra and starts asking questions, distracts him with the advertised product. It doesn't quite work.

    Anime and Manga 
  • In Azumanga Daioh, Nyamo ends up giving her students a drunken sex ed lesson during summer vacation, which takes place off-screen via Relax-o-Vision. It's a variant in that most of the girls are post-pubescent, so they know about sex; Nyamo is telling them about her personal experiences, which are apparently so outrageous that the girls are reduced to blushing Stunned Silence. Ten-year-old Chiyo is the only one who has no idea what she's talking about, much to Nyamo's distress when she wakes up hungover the next morning, and Chiyo still has questions.
  • Off-hand mentioned in the first episode of Bakuten Shoot Beyblade when Tyson tries to sneak away from his grandfather:
    Tyson's Grandfather: It's time we had a lil' rap session!
    Tyson: Not the 'birds and bees' speech!
    Tyson's Grandfather: No, that's next week.
  • Delicious in Dungeon: After the fight with the dryads, Senshi, apparently mistaking Chilchuck for a child, attempts to give him the talk. (It should be mentioned that Chilchuck is married and has multiple kids.)
  • Edgar Chan in D.Gray-Man attempts to give one to a young Kanda. It goes as well as you expect.
  • In Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu, Kaname gives a sort of similar talk to Sōsuke (though it was more explaining what "flirting" and "picking up women" is). No dialogue is heard, and his reaction is to turn deathly pale and break out into cold sweat, stammering that he "can't do that." Lord knows what his reaction would be should anyone ever give him The Talk about explicit sex. "Listen up! Flirting is... (fast forward mode) When a guy talks to a girl he doesn't know in the city or a store to invite them to hang around with them. The trick is to smile often, and show that you are a cheerful guy. If the girl agrees to come along, you can take her to a cafe or anywhere else you want. Entertain her plenty, smile constantly, and bring up conversations that modern girls would enjoy talking about. And be sure to include some moderate amount of compliments in between. And you have to pay the bill. In short, just act like Kurz-kun." At which point Sōsuke realizes he's in waaay over his head... (The dialogue has been Transcribed by intensive use of freeze-frame on a subtitled version of that episode.)
  • I Think Our Son Is Gay: When the protagonist's husband comes home from a business trip, he tries to have a talk about romance and dating with their teenage son Hiroki. Unfortunately, he's not aware that Hiroki is gay and in the Transparent Closet, so it goes very awkwardly for them.
  • Early in Kaguya-sama: Love Is War, Kaguya, Shirogane, and Fujiwara come across a magazine article that says just over a third of people their age have had their "first time" by then. Shirogane and Fujiwara are surprised it's so high, but Kaguya thinks it's about right, if not low. However, she then goes on to say it's very common to the point she did it with her newborn nephew and expects Fujiwara did it with her dog. This results in the obvious question of what Kaguya thinks "first time" means, and Kaguya reveals she's talking about kissing, as that's the extent of her sexual education. Fujiwara steps up to the plate and, sixteen minutes later, Kaguya is both educated and flustered beyond belief.
  • In Shakugan no Shana, when Yuji's mom gets pregnant, Shana innocently asks where babies come from. Everybody is too embarrassed to answer, even Alastor.
  • In an episode of Hetalia: Axis Powers, Italy, after reading a sex scene in a book France is reading him, asks what sex is. We don't hear what France says as it's covered up with an array of silly sounds, but given Italy's reaction, we probably don't want to know what he said.
  • Surprisingly enough, a similar phenomenon comes up in, of all things, the Street Fighter Alpha movie. Shun has spent the first parts of the movie talking about how his mother sent him to find Ryu, but Ken notices something.
    Ken: Hey, yeah! What about daddy? You can't have a baby without daddy! It's easy! You just have to— (Ryu covers his mouth)
  • UQ Holder!: During a rather blatant attempt by Kirie to get Touta to sleep with her, it's finally revealed that Touta has no idea what sex is, nor where babies come from. Justified in that, despite having a 14 year old body, he's actually only 3 or 4 years old in reality. Kirie, frustrated, spends the rest of the night educating Touta on the subject (not a euphemism, she gets out a blackboard and starts teaching him as though in a classroom). And when that fails to work, she just pulls up some porn on pay-per-view to show him.
  • A Running Gag in the unadopted parts of Wasteful Days of High School Girls. The more even-headed members of the cast (Lily, Majime and Ota) finds it absurd that Loli was so innocent that she doesn't even know the biology of reproduction as a high schooler, and wants to give Loli some basic sex education. The problem is most of them don't want to corrupt Loli from that, which means Status Quo is Still God.

    Comedy 
  • Bill Cosby did a routine about the time he had to have The Talk with his daughters. They walk in on him while he's urinating, saying, "Ohhhhhh, daddy! Yooo, daddy! You've got a wallie wallie!! Are we gonna get a wallie wallie too??" He shouts back, "No, you're not gettin' nothin'! Now get outta here!" They leave, but he knows he's going to have to have The Talk with them now, "because little five-and-four-year-olds—and they go to school—love to make up songs about things. 'We saw daddy's wallie wallie...'" And before long the teacher would arrive at his doorstep with the police. "Mr. Cosby, would you come along with us, please?" "What for?" "For showing your kids your wallie wallie." So he finds his daughters in their own bathroom trying to make their own wallie wallies come out, urinating all over the floor. His wife comes in and asks what the hell he's teaching the kids.
  • Bill Engvall had a bit about having to have The Talk with his son after Mom caught said son visiting a porn website.note  Wanting for his version of the talk to be more informative than his own father's, Bill tells said son to tell him everything he knows about the subject so Bill can fill in the blanks.
    "About five minutes later, I'm sitting there with a pen and a pad of paper!"
  • Canadian comedy troupe The Frantics have a routine in which a father tries to talk his daughter (who is home alone) through handling her first period over the phone in a rapid transit car (surrounded by other commuters, all male) in ever increasing levels of detail causing the rest of the train to react even more and more comically as he keeps on having to explain more and more and give more practical, graphic and hands-on advice.
  • 19-year-old comedian Daniel Sloss had a routine where he describes his father giving him The Talk. Subverted in that it was actually a talk about shaving... but poor Daniel thought it was about sex, which brings it into very close to Squick.

    Comic Books 
  • At the beginning of Asterix and Son, our hero learns that Obelix still thinks storks deliver babies and concludes they need to have a discussion. And they do, at the end. But judging from what Asterix is saying, he doesn't know what he's talking about or is laying the metaphors on too thick (or it could be the wine, this Talk is happening at a feast);
    Asterix: ...So when the bees have collected their pollen the pretty flowers all get married, see?
    Obelix: And how about storks? Scrunch! Where do the storks come into it?
  • In Sex Criminals, middle-school girl Suzie tries to get some information from her alcoholic mother, only to get shot down rather brutally.
    Suzie's Mom: What, Suzie?
    Middle-school Suzie: I had a few questions?
    Suzie's Mom: About what, Suzie?
    Middle-school Suzie: You know. Sex questions.
    Suzie's Mom: Great. Now I'm raising a whore. (takes drink)
    Present Suzie: (narration) Strike three.

    Comic Strips 
  • An arc in Big Nate saw Nate's dad try to give Nate the Talk and act completely flustered while doing so. Nate found it so hilarious that he invited his friends inside to listen in.
  • Subverted in Calvin and Hobbes in which whenever Calvin asks his dad where babies come from, his dad always messes with him, coming up with ridiculous answers, such as him being dropped down the chimney by a pterodactyl (Calvin thinks that's cool), or a construction kit that was bought on sale. Calvin is only six years old. "Mostly they come from Sears, but you were a blue-light special at K-Mart. Almost as good, and a lot cheaper!"
  • In the National Lampoon comic "Timberland Tales", Dr. Rogers attempts to teach little Maurice on the subject by observing two bears mating — unfortunately the bears see them and it doesn't turn out well for either of them.
  • In the Norwegian comic strip Nemi, Nemi tells a boy she is babysitting facts about flowers and bees, because "his dad paid her to do so".note 
    Nemi: Broccoli is actually a flower, but that's not to say that you can give a girl broccoli. We prefer roses.
  • In a Pearls Before Swine strip, Larry the crocodile's wife tells him to give their son the talk about "the birds and the bees". He finds his son and explains to him that birds are tasty and should be eaten, but bees will sting you and should be avoided.
  • A humorous version happens in the November 19, 1986 edition of U.S. Acres when Orson has to explain the facts of life to his adoptive chick sons Booker and Sheldon (it should be noted that Sheldon remains inside his egg and refuses to fully hatch).
    Booker: Mom, where did I come from?
    Orson: From an egg, Booker.
    Sheldon: Then where did I come from?
    Orson: (thinking) Uh-oh.
  • An entire Zits story arc involved preparation for a fishing trip for Walt and Jeremy. Finally, they're out on the boat, and it turns out Walt brought Jeremy out there... to have The Talk.

    Fan Works 
  • A Blight on Bonesborough: Eda decides to give Luz and Amity this since they're dating and living under the same roof, plus Amity only knows the human variant while witch reproduction is more versatile. Luz tries to weasel out of it and fails, so you can imagine the awkwardness both girls had to feel the next day.
  • Aki-chan's Life: When Misato is revealed to be pregnant, the heated argument that breaks out is interrupted when the titular Aki arrives at the table wanting to know what everyone's talking about. Asuka uses the opportunity to drag Misato to another room for some "Girl talk", leaving Shinji the job of explaining to a 4-year old about the birds and the bees. Turns out to be a bad idea since Shinji, being Shinji, botches it and Aki runs into the room a few minutes later asking if Misato ate a baby. Asuka decides to take over after that.
  • In Alabaster: The Doomed Session, the Talk is done and illustrated with the canon Homestuck characters. First we get to see the human version, the eponymous trope, then the troll variation, "the Carve" - since their custodians are mute.
  • An Astral Drop in Heatherfield has Susan deliver "The Talk" to Hope who then swears an oath.
    "I solemnly swear... no boy touches my unclad body... until I am at least sixteen... Is that sixteen counting from November?" I asked, realising a slight possible conflict between what I was reciting and my actual circumstances. Sixteen years from the date of my creation would be after Will's twenty-ninth birthday.
    "Let's count that as your thirteenth birthday, Hope. Mind you, I wouldn't be upset if you waited a good bit more than three years, but that's all I'm insisting on."
    "For the next three years, then... and either you or Will gives me a second opinon... cross my heart..." Mom stopped me and moved my hand through what was apparently the proper way of doing that. "...and hope to die."
  • Avatar: The Last Airbender fan works:
    • The fanfic Bring Me All Your Elderly! has a scene where Aang tries to get his movie counterpart to realize that movie!Katara is, in fact, a girl and he should be attracted to her. Aang just keeps digging himself deeper and confusing movie!Aang.
    • Most Avatar fics on this subject have Sokka (or another older character) giving Kid Hero Aang the talk. But The Innocence of Youth has an interesting twist on this: it has the teenaged monks of the Air Temple eager to tell an apparently innocent Aang everything they know, only to find that Aang is already pretty knowledgeable on the subject. Hilariously, when Sokka (a century later) decides to give Aang "the most enlightening conversation [[he'll]] ever have," it turns out that he actually knows less about sex than the younger kid.
    • This tumblr post, in which Fire Lord Ozai attempts to explain reproduction to Zuko and Azula. Ozai being Ozai, it doesn't go well.
      Ozai: It is time for us to have "The Talk."
      Azula: Zuzu, I'm frightened.
      Zuko: Azula, hold me.
      Ozai: Azula, GO FIND A VOLCANO! BUILD A FORTRESS UPON ITS SUMMIT AND EMBRACE ITS FIRE INTO YOURSELF SO THAT YOUR OFFSPRING CAN SET FIRE TO THE WORLD! Zuko, YOU MUST FIND A FERTILE VALLEY AND FLOOD IT WITH YOUR SOLDIERS! SOW YOUR SEEDS AND LET YOUR FRUIT CONQUER THE WORLD! (suddenly wearing Phoenix King helmet) AND DON'T FORGET TO USE PROTECTION!
      Azula: I don't think Ty Lee has a volcano...
      Zuko: But I don't like farming... or fruit...
  • An Attack on Titan fanfic, aptly titled The Birds and the Bees, has an angry, sexually frustrated Keith Shadis being forced to give the 104th training squad a sex ed class, which is funny enough. What makes it hilarious is that most of the cadets are totally clueless about sex and reproduction.
    Armin: (on receiving a condom) Is this some sort of training device?
    Shadis: It keeps the girl from getting knocked up, period. So wrap that shit up if you're going to bump uglies, you got that?
  • Nuts and Bolts features Tony Stark giving the talk to his son. He is reluctant at first since he really doesn't see the reason why.
    Pepper: Now, are you going to talk to him?
    Tony: Nope.
    Pepper: To-ny! Why not? How did you find out about all this?
    Tony: Experimentation, and look how I turned out!
  • born of hell('s kitchen) has Sister Maggie Grace (yes, a nun) lecturing her grown-up son on safe sex practices after learning she became a grandma when a college-aged Matt drank himself silly to the point he banged a girl into a closet without the adequate protection and promptly occluded the memory. Matt describes the experience as "ten horrifying minutes".
  • The Animorphs fanfic The Class has the human Animorphs go to a sex ed class given by Vice Principal Chapman. While the information isn't wrong, it's still pretty awkward, not helped by Chapman having an alien slug inside his brain. Also, Ax is very confused by human reproductive biology.
  • DC Comics fan works:
    • There's a very funny fan fic called The Talk. Batman, Nightwing, and Superman joined together to give the talk to Robin (Tim). They gave a special type of superhero talk that involves body armor.
    • Litany has two examples.
      • First, there is Batman calling Robin once he hears he dates Starfire. At the end of the chapter (we never actually hear the dialogue):
        Robin buried his face in his hands, embarrassed beyond belief.
        "I still do not understand, man of bats. Please, tell me once more about these 'birds' and 'bees,' and why they are of such vital importance to Robin and myself." Starfire somehow managed to procure a pen and pad of paper. "Perhaps I should take notes, this time."
      • The end of the fic is Mento calling Beast Boy, seeing him and Raven kissing, and saying "You see, when a, um... half-demon... uh, tolerates a, uh... changeling… very much..."
    • In the Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts story "Christmas in Kansas", Clark Kent recalls the Talk his mother gave him when he was a teen. It was apparently horrifyingly thorough, both because Martha had personal reasons for wanting to cover the full range on human possibilities, and because she felt obliged in Clark's case to cover the inhuman possibilities as well. "All I know's the birds and the bees, for all I knew you were an iguana."
  • In one spoilerific Digital Devil Saga fanfiction found here, a very embarrassed Roland is forced to explain sex to the Embryon, because they're all sentient AI s and are missing some very basic information... including the fact that sex results in babies. Roland gives the bluntest explanation he can about sex itself, and his primary concern is that they might get themselves or someone else pregnant or sick without knowing otherwise. Gale keeps on pressing him for more information, and it's implied that he knew everything all along and was just messing with Roland.
  • In the Discworld of A.A. Pessimal, the Assassins' Guild School delivers "Personal and Social Development" through the medium of its School Matron, Igorina. Who takes a hundred or so girls at a time and delivers The Talk which is open, frank, heavily detailed, unremitting, and accompanied by lots and lots of very detailed iconographic slides projected onto a very big screen. Assassin schoolgirls are not only thoroughly Educated, they tend to stagger out afterwards in a numb and traumatised state vowing never, ever, ever, to bump any uglies with a boy or get pregnant. Ever. In a coeducational school, Matron Igorina's Talk is also very good aversion therapy, with the result that the AGS has a nil rate of teen pregnancy or regrettably avoidable situations. By the time of Strandpiel, the Talk is also being delivered to the local equivalent of convent schoolgirls, who have previously had their version delivered by nuns, who are not really very good at it.
  • An Empath: The Luckiest Smurf mini-story has Papa Smurf talk to Smurfette about sex after she first encounters Nudie Smurf in all his... uh, glory outside her door. Of course, it being The Smurfs, Papa Smurf couches The Talk by speaking about Smurfs having "boy parts" and "girl parts" as well as "sex cells".
  • In one of E-vay's comics, Aurora asks her parents where baby comes from. Amy's explanation is that "Making a baby is like baking a cake! The Daddy puts the ingredients into the Mommy Oven and then it bakes for months". Sonic finds that silly, but his analogy isn't much better:
    Sonic: Well, I was gonna say there's like... A baby tournament. And there's... The babies have to race to get to race to get to... the... You know this sounded a lot better in my head.
    Amy: Yeah. That's what I thought.
    Aurora: [appears with a cupcake] I made you a baby!!!
  • In the Young Justice fic Explaining Things to Non-Humans, Jason Todd finds himself having to explain human reproduction to M'Gann (who hatched from an egg), Donna (who was sculpted from clay), and Garth (who actually knows what sex is, but came asking Jason what porn is).
  • In Finding A Loud, Rita Loud has given her daughters the talk so regularly shes actually gotten bored of it, and condensed the whole affair down to ten minutes. Luan even noted she's started to get confused about which girl she's giving it to. It's part of the reason she badly wants a son, just so she can have new challenges rather than the same ones over and over again.
  • This tumblr post, for Free! Protective big brother Rin attempts to give his sister Gou the talk (via text message) when he finds out she's dating somebody, but the Animal Motifs analogy he uses makes it pretty clear he's thinking of his own relationship.
    Rin: It's called the birds and the bees but fuck that bugs suck and who gives a flying fuck about birds. It's all about the sharks and the dolphin.
    Gou: This is worse than I thought Rin please
    Rin: Shut up and let me talk! Ok so sharks and dolphins. Sometimes, sharks and dolphins, against the laws of nature fall in love and want to bang. So sharks act all gracious and romantic and are the damn casanovas of the animals kingdom. Dolphins, on the other hand, are pieces of shit that ignore everything and only care about diving into water and swimming. Won't even call you back fuckin son of a bitch.
    Gou: Rin, I don't understand how this is at all a lesson in sex education. Also who am I supposed to be in this situation?
    Rin: Will you shut up Gou tHIS ISN'T EVEN ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW
  • In the My Hero Academia "Let's Watch Our Show" Plot fanfic The Future Briefing Island has the staff of U.A. realize that they're on an island with 24 first year students (the entirity of Class 1-A, Monoma, Tetsutetsu and Kendo of Class 1-B, and Hatsume of the Support Course) some of whom are bunking in boy-girl pairings along with the fact that Izuku and Ochako got into a Relationship Upgrade while also bunking together, thus Midnight with Nezu's approval holds a sex education class that goes the full gamot from biological functions, psychological considerations (kinks and fetishes, and yes the story does make a distinction between the two), safety and proper ettiqute that goes beyond just consent. It even dabbles into pornography and how it differs from real life. A hilarious outcome of this is that it shows Hidden Depths of both Bakugo and Izuku by having them be so knowledgeable that they could pass for studying to be OB/GYNs with comments from the former suggesting that Aldera Junior High is rather thorough in its sex education.
  • Variations on Murdoc giving Noodle The Talk are almost a Running Gag in Gorillaz fandom. An amusing example (worksafe fanart).
  • Harry Potter fan works:
    • An old Harry Potter Fanfiction entitled Plugs and Outlets featured Arthur Weasley explaining the facts of life to Ron in terms of the titular Muggle technology. The mostly hilarious sequel Quills and Ink Bottles is the same principle applied to Molly Weasley telling Ginny about the facts of life, and the trilogy is completed with Quidditch Anyone? in which Sirius Black tells Harry that there are several kinds of girls—represented by the different Quidditch balls.
    • There is a Harry Potter fan fiction in which Ginny, caught by her parents in a somewhat suggestive position, is then given The Talk by Arthur, using the metaphor of Plugs and Sockets, while short circuits represent pregnancy and childbirth.
    • There are several good HP ones of Snape having to teach Sex Ed to Hogwarts students. Example.
    • A variation of the above occurs in The Boy Who Died A Lot where Snape finds it prudent to have a little talk with his Slytherin students. The emphasis of the speech is less on sex itself than the importance of consent, and the moral unacceptability of using coercive spells or love potions to force the act on the unwilling; according to Snape, such behaviour should be considered beneath them, and is grounds for expulsion. (The mood of the scene is lightened somewhat when Snape realises McGonagall has been standing at the door for the latter part of his speech.)
    • There's one where Ron and Hermione are caught snogging by Ron's entire family, and all of the older Weasley men attempt to have The Talk with Ron, most hilariously the twins, who are armed with Muggle porn.
    • Quite possibly the best Harry Potter Talk is from The Bonds of Blood.
      Sirius: Know what sex is?
      Harry: Er, mostly.
      Sirius: Do it before you're sixteen and I'll kick your ass.
      Harry: Oh, okay.
    • There is a hilarious Harry Potter fanfic in which Sirius was asked to give Harry a talk (about a certain Quidditch stunt, but he thought was THE talk), and the Twins - sensing how nervous Sirius was - started off with a crack about "When a Man Loves a Chipmunk", the whole thing went down hill fast, and Harry is Traumatized.
    • The Harry Potter fanfic The Shoebox Project had a chapter that touched on this in which each of the Marauders is given The Talk by each of their parents and, in Sirius' case, James' parents. While James' dad hems and haws his way through it all, James' mother plays it painfully straight:
      "I'm never going to have sex," James says. "Life no longer has any meaning. Neither do breasts. I'm becoming a nun. Do you want to help me research nunneries?"
      "I am going to become a castrato," Sirius replies in a dead voice, "and sing at the opera. Why, Prongs? Why, why, why?"
      "It's your fault," James hisses, "you and your French poodle."
      "I am full of misery," Sirius says. "The end is nigh."
      "I blame you," James insists, without any vigor to the accusation. "You and your uncontrolled urges."
      Sirius' head thunks as it hits the tiled wall. "My pamphlets are illustrated."
      "My mum is a madwoman."
      "Your dad tried to tell me about the facts of life."
      "My mum used the phrase sexual intercourse."
      "He said the word certainly at least ten times in one sentence."
      "She spoke about her and my dad and — you know."
      "Oh God." Sirius peeks out from behind the curtain. "You win."
    • There's Harry Potter and the Cracked Reservoir where each Weasley brother plays a prank on Harry as initiation into the family (he started dating Ginny). One of the pranks is convincing McGonagall to give Harry The Talk — with animated diagrams. Afterwards, Harry is coming to his dorms... and meets Ginny who has the same look he does — her mother talked to her, too.
    • There's a Harry×Luna fanfic, Harry Potter and the Awkward Date, where as soon as everyone hears that Harry asked Luna to go see a movie, they each try to give Harry what he calls "The Lecture". Almost none of them help.
    • There's a hilarious one quite simply called The Talk where because of his orphan status, various parental figures in Harry's life decide to give him The Talk. Independently. He ends up going through it six times. The last one involves Charlie and Bill putting on a sock puppet show that involves sock puppet Weasleys beating up a sock puppet Harry as a demonstration of what they will do if Harry is ever dumb enough to cheat on Ginny.
    • In Elsewhere, but not Elsewhen, The Talk Crosses the Line Twice or more as it is Lord Voldemort who gives Harry the talk. Harry has to get drunk at the end to purge the images from his mind, and feels the need for a second bender the instant he realizes why said person gave him The Talk.
    • In Society of the Vesta Accolates Draco Malfoy is so horrified by receiving The Talk from his father and then accidentally glimpsing his parents having sex that he and Harry drain an entire bottle of firewhiskey. In the following chapter Remus forbids Sirius from ever giving The Talk to Harry because when he tried it with Neville's father, he decided that bananas and a blow-up doll were needed as visual aids.
    • In Little Dragon Molly and Arthur Weasley give Harry and Ron a hilariously muddled version of The Talk (complicated by the fact that some wizards can become pregnant) where Arthur tries to explain it in terms of plugs and outlets and Molly, well...
      Molly: When a bird and a bee want to have a baby the bee will... 'sting' the bird and the bird will then lay an egg-
      Ron: We're bee birds?
      Harry: I don't want to lay an egg!
    • In By Right of Conquest Andromeda gives it to Harry using male and female cloth dolls for demonstration purposes.
    • In Physical Education, a two-shot in which Deadpool becomes the new Phys Ed teacher at Hogwarts, Harry's class ends up having to take Sex Ed with him as well. He tries to give them the regular "when a man and a woman love each other very much" speech, but keeps derailing it until he just gives up and shows them one of his sex tapes, which involves Hermione's aunt (much to her mortification) and a banana. Draco also gets to watch a "special" one; we don't know the details, but it's titled "Fat, Fifty, and Frisky".
    • In New Blood (artemisgirl) the students of Hogwarts are given this in their third year, with McGonagall, Sprout and Pomfrey handling the girls, while Flitwick and Severus Snape handle the boys' side. Said boys do as expected when faced with the opportunity to make Snape answer embarrassing questions. Apparently, the magical STDs one can catch involve rotting genitals should one have sex with a dead body, this includes the undead.
    • In Sword and Shield Sirius mentions that when Harry's grandmother gave it to his father, she used fruit transfigured into the appropriate body parts as a visual aid.
    • In the comic "Hogwarts Sex-Ed", the Heads of Houses teach their students about sex. Sprout uses a puppet show, Flitwick uses a scientific diagram (not shown), McGonagall debunks myths about sex like babies coming from the Great Hippogriff, and Snape shows his students a pornographic video.
    • In This Means War, Sirius decides it's his job as godfather to have this discussion with Harry. Most of it is off-screen, but copious amounts of alcohol are involved on both sides.
  • In Heretic Pride, Master Windu has the task of giving each year's class of appropriately-aged Jedi younglings the Talk, with a heavy emphasis on temptations to be avoided. The Talk itself is not depicted, only the stunned and slightly traumatized state Aloo is in afterward; Anakin, remembering the experience from when he was a youngling, congratulates her on surviving it.
  • Hero Chat: When Adrien tells his father that he's in a four-way relationship, his father and his assistant try to give him "The Talk." Adrien's father is The Stoic on a good day and his assistant is only slightly better, so all his friends immediately wince.
    Adrien: I mean they only got a few lines in before I stopped them. Thanks to Chloé, my mom gave me "The Talk" years ago.
    Chloé: What did I do???
    Adrien: You found out about periods and came over to complain "this is fucking bullshit!!".
    Chloé: It's true.
  • Hope of the Shield Hero is a fanfic of The Rising of the Shield Hero, and a Brick Joke involves the fact that Raphtalia was never given The Talk (Something which Naofumi notes, and resolves to fix early on), to the point where Chapter 39 is aptly labelled "He Forgot The Talk". Naofumi gets an Oh, Crap! moment when he realises that he had forgotten about The Talk:
    Narration: [[Naofumi's]] eyes had widened in realization. A cold sweat broke out on his skin. A cold, dreadful feeling ran down his spine. It'd been so long since he last thought about this happening. Raphtalia had been acting mature and grown-up for so long that it was hard to picture the little girl she'd been two months ago.
  • This series of Ace Attorney stories, aptly titled "How Are Babies Made?".
  • In the Miraculous Ladybug fanfic The Inappropriate Touching Talk, Nathalie will do anything for Gabriel Agreste— but she draws the line at giving his son a talk on sexual harassment. When she finds out that Gabriel pawned the duty off on Human Resources, Nathalie locks them in a room together and refuses to let them out until they've had a mature and informative discussion.
    The Agreste men almost starved to death that day.
  • Joys of the Parenthood - The Țepeș Edition: One day, Adrien asks Death during one of their sessions where babies come from. Feeling that this is something that should be told by his parents, he abstains from answering. When he notices that Adrien tries asking somebody else in the castle, Death has his minions stop anyone from telling him for fear of the consequences Dracula may inflict on them. This goes on for the rest of the day.
  • Kingdom Hearts fan works:
    • Kingdom Hearts Ψ: The Seeker of Darkness: in Adjustments, while Xion has had the Talk before (see under "Other" below), she doesn't understand much about sexual orientation, and when this comes up with Naminé, she chooses to pass the buck onto Lea. Some time later, Lea ends up in a similar conversation with Vanitas, and passes the buck back to Naminé.
    • In An Unlikely Alliance, Sora and Vanitas have to give the Talk to Roxas and Xion. The two do know (thanks to Even) that they weren't created by sexual reproduction, but they have no idea what that means. Sora initially tries to stay out of it until Vanitas threatens to use his and Kairi's relationship as an example.
    • How Not to Be a Parent, has Lea trying to give the Talk to Roxas and Xion, which starts badly when he uses a rather unpleasant ice cream metaphor, goes off the rails when he has to bring up his relationship with Isa (which has no relevance to making babies) and then has to explain the difference between Vexen making replicas and couples making babies. All of which turns into a somewhat Ironic example with the final lines:
    Xion: I still don't get what any of that had to do with Lea and Isa.
    Roxas: Neither do I. It's all really confusing. I wonder if it has something to do with them having sex the other night when they thought we weren't home.
  • In The Legend of Spyro: A New Dawn, Sparx reveals his dad had The Talk with him before he left home. He promptly changes the subject because he doesn't want to talk about it. Volteer and Cyril give a rather tame one to Cynder as well. Volteer was about to give a much more...detailed version by Cyril cut him off.
  • The Legend of Zelda fan works:
    • Divorced: After 7-year-old Mina walks in on her parents naked in bed, she asks them why they're naked. Much to Zelda's embarrassment, Ganondorf explains to her about sex. Gerudos and Hylians have different standards on when it's appropriate for kids to learn about reproduction.
    • In Let the World Smile, sixteen-year-old Princess Zelda is married off to Ganondorf as an act of Altar Diplomacy, but she doesn't know much about sex yet. Her mother died when she was young and her lady-in-waiting Impa was vague about the specifics. Nabooru is astonished by Zelda's naivety at her age.
    • In Clueless, Malon finds out that Link has no idea where babies came from after catching him staring in confusion at a pregnant woman in the Castle Town market. After she gets her laughter under control, she takes him home and forces Talon to help her give him the talk, which the narration describes as "shamelessly thorough." Keep in mind this version of Link was raised by a tree.
  • My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fan works:
    • The Birds and the Bees has the Cutie Mark Crusaders getting into hilarious shenanigans as they try to figure out where foals come from, and repeatedly get the wrong idea from asking the Mane Six.
    • In Estrus, five of the Mane Six swap stories about how they first learned the facts of life after finding out that Twilight apparently has no idea what being "in heat" means. Turns out Twilight does know everything already, she just never heard the expression "in heat".
    • Hoofstuck: Played with. Apple Bloom asks Pinkie Pie where foals come from. Pinkie's answer? They come from rocks.
      Sweetie Belle: Well, Rarity does say that there can sometimes be interesting things inside of rocks, I guess.
    • Regarding The Need for Sex Education: Subverted; Twilight's parents apparently glossed over a lot of the details, resulting in a series of hilarious misunderstandings when she does finally become intimate with someone. Specifically, her parents never bothered to spell out the fact that it's impossible to get pregnant from lesbian sex.
      Applejack: Yeah, well, Ah'm rethinkin' my previous stand against sex education in schools, let me put it that way.
    • RainbowDoubleDash's Lunaverse: Tales of Ponyville features something of a hybrid between the two types. Cherilee misinterprets something Lyra said to conclude that Trixie is totally ignorant about sex. Being a teacher, she can't let that stand, and proceeds to give Trixie the Talk to end all Talks, incorporating everything she learned in the course of a thoroughly misspent teenhood, starting with the basic biology and moving on to much more explicit matters before rambling into recounting her own past sexual escapades. Only after she has finished an exhaustive elaboration of equine sexuality does she find out that Trixie is perfectly aware of how sex works, she just finds it really, really gross.
  • Code Geass fic ''My Mirror, Sword and Shield: Nunnally notes that she really needs her brother to give her the talk as her knowledge is limited to what she sees in romantic novels and what Euphemia shows her with her relationship. But Lelouch refuses thinking that she's too young to know.
    • Suzaku laments that "The Talk" his adoptive mother gave him turned out to be completely useless. His adoptive mother only told him about the mechanics of heterosexual sex but Suzaku realizes that he's gay.
  • Naruto fan works:
    • A particularly funny fanfic has Naruto going around and asking all the adults in the village what sex is and keeping a journal of the info he gets as they all either brush him off or give him lewd advice. "NEVER GO INTO ANKO'S HOUSE! She has a bunch of weird equipment and she's hard to get away from when she gets her clothes off."
    • Fetish? What's a Fetish?, a hilarious story about Naruto and Sasuke finding out all about sex and fetishes.
    • The Mating Frenzy has Tsunade order Kakashi, Asuma, Gai and Kurenai to "go wherever and explain to [their respective teams] the facts of life". Hilarity Ensues:
      • Kakashi's way: Using Icha Icha Paradise.
      • Gai's way: Using "euphemism-filled poetry and interpretive dancing".
      • Asuma's way: "Here's a porno video. There's the TV. I'll be back in an hour."
      • Kurenai's way: Kiba using Akamaru's "special friend" to "demonstrate".
    • In Kitsune On Campus, Naruto is forced to give one to class 3-A as a punishment for painting entire campus orange. He is less than pleased.
    • Shows up quite frequently in fanfics centered around Gaara, who, because of his Dark and Troubled Past and both of his parents being dead, and then just generally having No Social Skills, is assumed by the fandom to not know how these things work, even on a very barebones-basic level. Usually the one tasked with this is his older brother, Kankuro.
  • Of the River and the Sea has a very flustered seven-year-old Ryuishi being forced to explain the "swords and sheathes" to a nine-year-old Zabuza after his shisou utterly botched his attempt, leading the kid to believe he impregnated Ryuishi by stabbing her with his training sword. Kisame laughs his ass off while listening - because if you're not in the Seduction Corps, Kiri will not give you any explanation.
  • OMORI fanfic Hands (OMORI): In Will You Forgive Me, My Best Friend?, Basil is said by the narration to already have gotten the "birds and bees" talk from his grandmother after he witnessed a sex scene in a romance show. But when he witnesses the beginning of a rape scene in a mystery drama, his grandma has to give him a different talk explaining what rape is.
    “Listen Basil. You remember the birds and the bees? That’s usually for people that love each other. But when one person doesn’t want it… when they’re hurt by it… that’s something called rape. It’s something that really hurts a person and it scars them for life.”

    “Scar?”

    “Not a physical scar, but a scar in here,” she pointed at her head for emphasis. “It’s something that destroys people. So Basil dear, if there’s anyone that ever tries to do that to you or makes you feel uncomfortable… please let someone you trust know.”
  • In the Death Note Crack Fic Parental Guidance, Souichiro Yagami insists on giving Light the talk while L listens in and gives his ever-helpful input on the matter.
  • The kinkier side of Pokémon fandom has a lot of fun speculating about whether feral child N has learned the facts of life, and from whom. The guesses (and resulting fics) range from "clueless virgin" to "self-taught" to "well-versed in the ways of Skitty and Wailord".
  • The Secret Return of Alex Mack:
    • Alex gets a particularly graphic version from Willow at Comic-Con, brutally murdering the mood for her and Ray. Probably not intentional on Willow's part; she's just very enthusiastic about her very active sex life, and wants to share the joy.
    • Shar picks up The Talk rather earlier than her parents intended, using her mind-reading powers.
  • Shigeko Kageyama AKA Mob Mob (gender swapped) gets the talk from Reigen after the events of the 7th Division arc. She decides that she doesn't want to die without knowing what it's like so she and Teru get up to some experimenting...on Reigen's couch(she ran away to his house). Reigen and her have a heart to heart about all of it. This talk is continued in chapter 27 when Mob and Teru finally have their first time.
  • The second chapter of Snowflake! starts with this. Yang tries to give Snowflake a less-than-kid-friendly version of the Talk before Weiss stops her.
  • In the Soul Eater fic Something Sweet, twelve-year-old Crona, who is beginning puberty, attempts to ask his mother Medusa what's happening to him, but she blows him off rather cruelly, telling him to never ask her again and just ignore it or he will die. So Ragnarok decides to give him the talk instead.
    Ragnarok: Alright. Now sit up and listen, because I'm only explaining this once...
  • In A Special Alchemy, Elicia asks Roy how babies get in mother's stomachs after she sees a pregnant Riza. Roy tells her that it involves a special alchemy that all dads know.
  • X-Men: First Class fic "Stars From Home" implies that this happens—the chapter ends with Scott asking Charles where babies come from. Made all the more awkward by the fact that Scott is sixteen and not completely innocent.
  • Star Trek fan works:
    • There's a Star Trek XI fic here, written for that fandom's Kink Meme where for family reasons Chekov had never been given the Talk, and the bridge team decides to rectify this. Unfortunately, rather than selecting one person to do this, almost all of them decide to chime in on it independently. Spock uses diagrams. Bones uses the Scare 'Em Straight method.
    • There was a hilarious one in which Spock is mailed a pamphlet called "Pon Farr and you."
  • This human AU of Steven Universe has Pink Diamond asking how she got inside of her mother's belly. One Spit Take and awkward pause later, White decides to Change the Uncomfortable Subject.
  • This fanfiction of Steven Universe has Pearl giving The Talk to Connie when the latter gets her first period. Later on, Greg talks to Steven about body changes as they go to buy said period products.
  • It goes both ways in Fullmetal Alchemist story Supplemental Rules and Regulations. At the end of chapter fourteen, Roy is enlisted to give the Elrics The Talk. Loud, outgoing Ed blushes and sputters. Sweet, innocent Al on the other hand asks, "What do you want to know?" Made even more hilarious by the bit in chapter sixteen where we find out that Roy was unanimously elected by his subordinates and best friend to do it, without giving him any say in the matter.
  • A fanfic for Tales of Symphonia where the group is in Tethe'alla. Colette asks the OC about something that Zelos did that involved a girl. Said OC completely freaks out and tells Colette to ask Regal, who in turn gets flustered and doesn't say anything. The next day Colette says that she found the Wonder Chef, who, when asked about sex, proceeded to tell it all to Colette. In detail. Including information about fetishes and erectile dysfunction. She blushes in the presence of Zelos and can't even hear the word 'wood' without freaking out.
  • This happens between Kamina and Simon in the Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann fanfic The Talk. Somewhat unique in that Kamina, the parental figure, completely lacks embarrassment while discussing this topic and doesn't actually know anything about pregnancy.
    Kamina: If you're lucky when you get to the vagina, the sperm shoots right through the egg like a bullet. No babies.
  • Thicker Than Blood is a Voltron: Legendary Defender fic where Shiro ends up having to give the talk to not only Allura and Coran (who have no idea how the human reproduction system works), but also a surprisingly-naive Keith, after Pidge gets her first period and they assume she's been horribly injured.
  • In Thousand Shinji, Misato decides that her young wards need to hear "The Talk". Shinji and Asuka's reaction was try to endure it as long as possible, but they ran screaming eventually.
    The mortification the two of them experienced after Misato gave them ‘The Talk’ in the morning lasted for days, especially since Misato was so cheerfully nonchalant about the whole thing and seemed completely unashamed about the explicitness of her explanations. They had only been able to stare in mute horror as she showed them where her stash of condoms was located before she proceeded to give a demonstration on how to actually put one on using a banana as reference.
    Their protests of "Too much information!" went on deaf ears, and even seemed to egg Misato on. When she started giving tips they had simply run screaming from the apartment, holding their ears.]
  • Time Fixers: Nicktoons of the Future episode "Princess Kida" has a subplot with Junior wanting to know where babies come from after finding out they don't really come from the stork like his parents told him. Jimmy is too embarrassed to tell him, Yuki tells him babies come from clouds, Kida seems to think they grow on trees, SpongeTron was told that they are manufactured at a factory, Tommy thinks they come from eggs, and Tammy thinks they grow from seeds.
  • Cerise has to give her same-aged friend Apple the Talk in The True Love Loophole after Apple finds Kitty and Maddie in a compromising position. As it turns out, Apple's nanny only gave her a bare minimal talk that came down to "Sex is for procreation and people only do it after you're married". Apple didn't even realize that women could be in relationships (which is one of the reasons she's so oblivious to her own feelings towards Raven).
  • In The Unrelenting Frozen Seas: The Journey, Thalia and Rhode accidentally walk on a rather effusive couple and Zeus's daughter finds herself explaining the birds and the bees to her younger cousin. Rhode ends up grossed. The girl later endures a more detailed explanation from Chiron while a gleeful Mr D. basks in her horror. She swears she will never have sex ever after listening how you can catch some very nasty things.
  • In VIVIO'S QUEST FOR UNDERSTANDING! Nanoha gives her daughter advice on sexual orientation, reproduction, and gender roles— all specifically tailored to Vivio's unique situation. Like how, despite what she and Fate might think, babies generally do NOT come from test tubes, and there are ways that do NOT involve mad science.
  • In What Does A Black Swan Have To Do With Lesbianism?, Regina and Emma realize they may need to give Henry the Talk. Neither is sure how, Regina was planning on him finding out through sex ed and Emma has no clue how to do it, so they go to Snow White, accurately predicting she'll have thought of this.
    David: Regina, are you sure you want to be here for this?
    Regina: Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss this for the world.
    Snow White: Emma Swan… sometimes when two people are really in love, but they’ve already hugged so much and kissed so much and snuggled so much, they decide to do even more to show each other how truly special they are to each other.
  • A few Tangled fanfics have sprung up which involve Rapunzel learning the finer points of romance and sex, including What You Don't Know.
  • In the Undertale fanfic Wherein Alphys Teaches Mettaton about Sex, Alphys upgrades Mettaton to be, ahem, "fully functional", since it doesn't seem fair to leave him without the option just because she's too embarrassed. She then has to explain exactly what these new parts are supposed to do. She winds up showing him Transformers porn.
  • For Hetalia: Axis Powers, Sealand gets an incredibly awkward and incomplete version of the talk from Sweden and Finland after accidentally walking in on them in 'Why Is Mama Moaning?'.
  • This Wreck-It Ralph fanart portrays Vanellope asking Felix where new characters come from.
    • "Where Do Babies Come From?", a fanfic based on the Wreck-It Ralph Fan Art, has Vanellope ask Felix where new programs come from. Felix keeps trying to avoid it, to Vanellope's increasing confusion and frustration, until Calhoun steps in and does it for him.
  • Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series:
    • Defied:
    Tristan: Joey, what's sex?
    Joey: Well, Tristan, when a man and a woman love each other very much—
    Tea: Joey, no! We mustn't let Tristan breed!
    Joey: Nyeh! Thanks, Tea. That was a close one.
    • Though in a later episode, he inexplicably knows what it is.
      Joey: Shut up, Tristan! You just want to get in Serenity's pants!
      Tristan: No, I don't! I want to have sex with her! [Beat] Oh, that's what you meant.
      • It's possible he just learned about it sometime in between the two instances.
  • Parodied in the epilogue of the Zootopia fic "To Mend a Broken Hart", when Leodore Lionheart is asked by his deer Love Interest where their adopted children will come from (they're a gay couple), and the lion launches into "When a mommy deer and a daddy deer love each other very much..."

    Films — Animation 

    Films — Live-Action 
  • Subverted (like you'd expect any different) in The Addams Family Values. Morticia is having a baby, so Wednesday and Pugsley are in the waiting room. As a young girl tells the story about a wish turning into a diamond that grows in the cabbage patch and turns into a baby as it's delivered by the stork, Pugsley declares "Our parents are having a baby too." Wednesday, in one of Christina Ricci's best deliveries ever, baldly states "They had sex."
  • Painfully, painfully straight in American Pie. Jim's dad buys him nude magazines as "visual aids".
  • In The Beautician and the Beast, sheltered princess Katrina really wants sex. When Joy, her American tutor, asks what she means by that, the princess offers "holding hands, eating ice cream" (aka dating). Joy describes this as the 'before-and-after' (and presumably goes on to give her a better education).
  • In Beethoven's 2nd, a brother and a sister desperately need to distract their parents from their scheme... so the six-year-old sister goes to their father and asks where babies come from. It works wonderfully.
  • In the 1946 movie The Best Years of Our Lives. At one point Al obliquely asks his wife Milly whether she's given this to their adult daughter Peggy. Milly responds, "She's worked two years in a hospital. She knows more than you or I ever will."
  • Bicentennial Man:
    • The first time characters talk about sex, Sir is explaining about it to Andrew, who finds the idea messy and concerning, much like a child. Oddly, Andrew gets stuck on the idea that because only one sperm is able to fertilize the egg, the rest all die.
    • The second time characters discuss sex, Rupert is telling Andrew that it would be possible to imitate the activity with some of the new upgrades he's designed. Andrew tells Rupert about what "they" say sex is like, as if Rupert hadn't ever heard it from his own father.
  • Brightburn. Brandon's father has an awkward conversation with his son saying it's alright to act on his feelings towards girls (referring to masturbating). Brandon however takes this to mean using his newfound superpowers to visit the girl he has a crush on in the middle of the night. She doesn't react well and things go From Bad to Worse as a result.
  • The Daniel Stern movie Bushwhacked features Stern's character as a fake Scout Leader delivering "the talk" to the boys in his scout group vividly, with help from action figures.
  • Played for laughs in CODA (2021). Ruby has Miles over to rehearse for choir. Ruby's parents mistakenly assume the two are now a couple, so the dad sits Miles down for a talk on safe sex told through sign language.
  • Averted in Critters, when the father gets concerned about his daughter's dating, and asks the mother if she's "talked to her about the way things are". Mom's reply ("Years ago") stuns him, but also lets him off the hook for undertaking this trope.
  • Charlie has an exceptionally awkward one with Bella in Eclipse. Billy Burke and Kristen Stewart's reactions make it hilarious.
    Charlie: So... you guys are... taking precautions and...
    Bella: Okay, Dad, please just don't worry about... that. Edward is... old school.
    Charlie: "Old School". Great. What's that, like, code for something —
    Bella: Oh my God! Dad? I'm a virgin.
    Charlie: AHHH! D-d-d... okay, good. Glad we covered that.
    Bella: Me too!
  • A Sundance short-film, Late Bloomer, has one of the most twisted and Lovecraftian takes on The Talk. Yes. H. P. Lovecraft.
  • Life, Animated is about an autistic child and later adult who basically uses the Disney Animated Canon as a Translator Buddy between himself and the world. Since he's in a relationship during the movie's filming, one interview of his older brother includes him wondering how he's supposed to use movies intended to be watchable by children to explain sex to him.
  • Maurice: On a group outing to the beach, family friend Mr. Ducie gives "the talk" to the young (and orphaned) Maurice. Beginning very awkwardly (and using clinical Latin terminology), Mr. Ducie sketches the body parts in the sand with a stick—growing more and more enthusiastic with his speech and his drawings. As they walk away, Mr. Ducie is horrified when a young girl in the party stumbles across his sand drawings.
  • My Girl: Vada gets one from Shelly after her period. Her reaction: "My mom and dad did THAT?...I think it should be outlawed!"
  • In the Michael Keaton film My Life, one of the videos that Bob Jones records for his son is supposed to be him giving the talk, but it doesn't get past him saying the word "Sex" followed by an extremely long pause before he turns off the recording.
  • In National Lampoon Vegas Vacation, Clark Griswold observes his son Rusty checking out the babes by the pool at their Las Vegas resort hotel. He then launches into a filibuster that sounds more like a horticulture lecture than a sex talk. Rusty interjects, ending the scene with the following exchange.
    Rusty: Dad, if this is about sex, I already know.
    Clark: Oh... glad we talked, Russ.
  • In No Kidding, David and Catherine argue over who has to give it to Vanilla and Henri after they find them kissing in a pile of hay:
    David: You will have to talk to them.
    Catherine: I'm not gonna talk to that smouldering French import sexpot about... You'll have to talk to them.
  • Now and Then Chrissy gets the talk from her mother (Bonnie Hunt), who is portrayed as either a sexophobe or just overly concerned about her daughter growing up. She starts by explaining that "every woman has a garden, and it needs a hose to water it." The narrator, Sam (Demi Moore) explains that as a result of this conversation, Chrissy will develop a lifetime obsession with gardening.
  • Inverted in Pleasantville, where Reese Witherspoon's character had to give "The Talk" to her mother (on the overly clean-cut TV sitcom from The '50s in which she and her brother have been trapped).
  • Sleeper: Woody Allen's character recalls his childhood.
    Miles Monroe: When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said "rabies". She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a great dane.
  • Sorceress: Baldar tries to explain where babies come from to the twins, as they somehow don't know. It's revealed they believe they're given by a god. Although aware where baby animals come from, they don't know this applies to humans.
  • In Zig Zag (2002), fifteen-year-old ZigZag is so sexually ignorant that he thinks a penis is called a "thing" and is surprised women don't have one. When Singer realizes this, he gives ZigZag an awkward, rambling explanation in which he demonstrates the act with a spoon and a bagel.

    Jokes 
  • A religious Jewish Israeli joke features a young boy asking his father what "gay" means. The father explains him the whole shtick in detail, and finally the shocked little boy asks, "So what's 'tsalmavet'?"note 
  • A kid comes home from school and says "We learned how to make babies today!" Her mom doesn't think that sex ed was on the curriculum so she asks, "Really? How?" The kid says "Well, you take off the 'y' and add 'ies'."
  • A Frenchwoman asks her husband to give their son The Talk, but be sensitive about it and start with bees and butterflies. The man goes to his son and tells him: "Pierre, remember our visit to Madam Josie's place last week?" "Yes, papa." "Well, bees and butterfly have it the same way."
  • A widowed mother, raising her son by herself is seeing him get married, but she never had the time to have The Talk with him as she was so busy working for the family. She pulled her son over after the ceremony and told him "Son, I've never had time to tell you the facts of life in detail, so I'll make this quick. When you go to bed with your wife tonight, take the stiffest part of your body and jam it in the place where she uses the bathroom." The son nods in agreement, hugs mom, and takes off with his wife for their honeymoon. A little after midnight, mother's phone rings. She groggily answers "Hello?" It's her son: "Mom, I jammed my foot in the toilet. Now what?"
    • There is also a variation of this joke, where the mother tells her son to put his sticking out part into his wife's hole and let Mother Nature help them. The morning after the wedding the wife complains to her friend, that her husband put his nose into her anus and screamed "Help me, Mother Nature!"
  • A mother tells her son that in their honeymoon he should do that thing dogs do in the street. So that night he proceeds to raise his leg and pee on her.
  • A girl went to her mother and asked where the new baby next door came from. The mother explained that the stork had dropped him off. Then the girl asked about the twins born down the street. The mother explained how the stork held one baby in each foot. The little girl exclaimed "Geez, doesn't anyone fuck in this neighborhood?"
  • A child goes to his father and asks him "Daddy, what's sex?" The father thinks to himself "well, the time has finally come I guess", takes a deep breath, and launches into a deep, long-winded explanation of the entire thing: men's and women's body parts, the physical aspects of the act, pregnancy, childbirth, the whole lot. After he's done, he asks his wide-eyed son "Why did you ask all of a sudden?" The boy answers "Because Mummy said she'll be ready to go out in a few of them."note 
  • A child goes to his father and asks "Where did I come from?" The father explains in full detail. "Huh. Billy down the street said he came from Ohio."

    Literature 
  • The parody "To the Batpole!" in the anthology Batman Unauthorized imagines how this conversation might have gone between a teenaged Bruce Wayne and Alfred.
  • Black Dogs: Jacyl talks Lyra aside to discuss sexual matters (she's aware of the basics), deeply embarrassing her. It's mentioned Jacyl previously got the talk herself from Sadrao-it was even more embarrassing.
  • The Bridgerton Series: In The Duke and I, Violet Bridgerton has had 8 children, and yet still can't get up the nerve to give the talk to her oldest daughter Daphne the night before her wedding. This leads to a reverse Miss Conception situation, where Daphne (who wants kids) has no idea that what her husband's doing with her will actively prevent them. The other Bridgerton sisters make sure to get The Talk from a maid instead after that.
  • Early on in A Brother's Price we are told that not only have Jerin's father and grandfather given him The Talk, they put much emphasis on teaching him how to keep his future multiple wives happy. His father told him to keep a schedule of one night per wife, eldest to youngest, repeat, and never let his wives know who his favourite is if he has one. What his grandfather taught him is only hinted at. Where babies come from seems to be common knowledge in the setting, as men are extremely rare and Jerin's former teacher freely tells him that she looks forward to getting married; not so much because of the husband but because of the pregnancy. On the other hand, it is considered improper to talk about miscarriage and stillbirth in front of young menfolk like Jerin.
  • In the last book of The Collegium Chronicles. Herald Jakyr asks Mags about his relationship with Amily and is prepared to give him some form of The Talk. Mags explains that he knows the basics, but has no clue about how to make it pleasurable for Amily. Herald Jakyr, realizing that his planned speech is useless, then proceeds to explain to Mags (who is horribly embarrassed by this) how to go about doing exactly that.
  • Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels have played with this.
    • There were two attempts by the older witches in the Lancre Coven to explain it to Magrat (who's almost a Chaste Heroine). In Wyrd Sisters, Granny Weatherwax quickly decides (as she did with Esk in Equal Rites) that she's not up to the task, being a Celibate Heroine herself. In Lords and Ladies, the decidedly non-celibate Nanny Ogg makes a more spirited attempt that is completely misunderstood ("After the wedding, is what I'm hinting about." "Oh, that. No, most of that's being done by a caterer."), although it later transpires that Magrat was deliberately winding her up (and instead has sent away for a book on the subject, which turns out to be on martial arts, not marital arts). Verrence instead gets his information from Casanunda and an interesting song sung by Nanny Ogg. They eventually also manage to get a proper book on marital arts; Nanny finds it one day while snooping around in the Royal bedroom. She spends a few productive minutes drawing mustaches on the pictures, which leads to Verence asking where he could buy some false mustaches. They apparently figure it out eventually, as Carpe Jugulum starts with the birth of their daughter.
    • In The Last Continent, a group of wizards have to try to explain to the God of Evolution what sex is. It leads to a very, very amusing conversation, and gets even more awkward for the wizards when the normally straitlaced housekeeper, Mrs. Whitlow, volunteers to explain "the facts of life" to the God (and prompts the wizards to wonder, out of morbid curiosity, what Mr. Whitlow's life was like).
    • At another point in the book, when the wizards are facing down the notion that they are the only men and Mrs. Whitlow the only woman who are likely to come along for some time (like thousands of years), they speculate that there must have been a Mr. Whitlow at some point, because she's, well, Mrs. Whitlow. A different book references a "Hepzibah Whitlow" in passing, who may be related, and, if the actual wizard rules on marriage (frowned upon, but never actually forbidden, as such) are anything to go by, may even be the man we're looking for. Incidentally, in her first appearance in Equal Rites, Mrs. Whitlow is stated to have out-lived four husbands.
    • In I Shall Wear Midnight, Tiffany finds herself having to give The Talk to Letitia, who doesn't believe her.
    • Averted in the case of Carrot Ironfounderson, whose adoptive dwarf parents had intended to give him The Talk at dwarf adolescence, i.e. age 50. Carrot's girlfriend Angua opts for demonstration over explanation.
  • Just Juliet: Juliet tells Lena that her dad gave her one in the past, after she came out as gay. He even looked up sexual practices that women engage in together so that he could tailor it for her. Juliet appreciated the effort, but still felt embarrassed by this.
  • The Locked Tomb: In Harrow the Ninth, the Emperor suggests this as an alternative to talking about a different uncomfortable topic. Keep in mind that Harrow is 18 and certainly aware of the mechanics. And it turns out the Emperor thinks she is already having sex with She Is Not My Girlfriend Ianthe.
    Emperor: Are you sure you want to go with—that one? Let's go through all the other, less awkward ones first. How is a baby made? I can do that, easy. I mean, I don't want to, but I'm ready. I have this little book about babies, bodies, friends, and family. Are you and Ianthe being safe?
    Harrow: We—are not—intimate.
    Emperor: Sorry—I mean, you're the same age, I don't really know how this goes anymore, we've all been alive for too long...
    Harrow: Neither are we romantic—neither are we, frankly, platonic
  • Martin Dressler: Caroline, an 1890s maiden, never got it, as she recoils in horror from Martin on their wedding night. Martin angrily goes to her mother Margaret and demands that Margaret "tell her" and "instruct her about marriage." Caroline lets Martin have sex with her after the talk, but the sex is terrible.
  • In Memoirs of a Geisha, Mameha was explaining to a young Sayuri what happens when a man's eel wants to go into a woman's cave.
  • The Monk: Strangely enough for an 18th-century novel, and for a church scene, Antonia almost gets one of these in the first chapter from her busybody Maiden Aunt. Luckily for the reader and for Antonia, Ambrosio's entrance interrupts.
  • In Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen, Penelope Akk is greatly embarrassed when her parents give her the talk after she comes home disheveled following a date with her boyfriend, having secretly been in a battle with superheroes.
  • Reconstructed in volume 4 of Reign of the Seven Spellblades, which treats it much more maturely than typical. After Nanao and Pete are approached by several other students hoping to court them, Oliver and Chela host what amounts to a private sex-ed seminar for their friends. They focus particularly on consent (having battled an Ax-Crazy upperclassman who specialized in Sex Magic in the previous volume), contraception, and, for the benefit of their two Mages Born of Muggles, the peculiarities of mage sexual and marital relations. Both of their Muggle-borns happen to have heritable traits that make them attractive mates to aristocrats trying to breed more powerful mage children: pushing the limits of sorcery is a pursuit that tends to overshadow all else among mages as it is, and Teen Pregnancy is tacitly encouraged by the Wizarding School as a consequence (third-years and up are explicitly permitted to have children at school). The talk also leads to Oliver and Nanao admitting to their mutual attraction for the first time.
  • The Reluctant King: In book three, the young son of a tavern owner hired to be Jorian's guide straightforwardly asks him for information about sex. A little embarrassed, Jorian complies.
  • In The Salamanders one of the main characters, Ryan, gets The Talk from his dad. A teacher later mentions that the school is going to give a mandatory lecture on it as well. Both times, Ryan is horrified, possibly because he's in the closet.
  • In A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Francie, curious about sex but with no books to read about it, gets her mother to explain it to her. The narration glosses it over as Informed Conversation, but Katie tells what she knows as best she can, using blunt words where she didn't know other ones.
  • Comes up a few times in the Temeraire series at the expense of William Laurence:
    • In Throne of Jade Laurence finds himself having to explain the presence of women among the Aerial Corps to his friend and former Naval subordinate Tom Riley (along with keeping him from having an utter meltdown over same), while also getting Temeraire to grasp why there is such a taboo about female humans going into battle (at about 20 tonnes, the 'smaller & weaker' thing fails to register).
      Laurence: Among other things, women must bear children, and care for them through childhood, where your kind lay eggs and hatch ready to look to your own needs.
      Temeraire: (facinated) You do not hatch out of eggs? How then—
      Riley: I beg your pardon, I think I see Purbeck looking for me. (flees)
    • In Black Powder War Laurence is obliged to order his crew to soak in a hot spring on medical advice (long story), momentarily forgetting about Emily Roland (the Plucky Middie that set Riley off in the last book). One look and some frantic bundling into a blanket later....
      Laurence: You must not bathe with the others.
      Roland: (bewildered) Mustn't I?
      Laurence: (under his breath) Oh, Christ. (firmly) No, it is not suitable; you are beginning to be a young lady.
      Roland: Oh, Mother has told me all about that, but I have not started bleeding yet, and anyway I would not like to go to bed with any of them.
  • The Twilight Saga: There's an exceptionally awkward one between Charlie and Bella Swan Eclipse. In the novel it just comes across as fairly uncomfortable, but in the movie (see above) Billy Burke and Kristen Stewart's reactions make it hilarious.

    Live-Action TV 
  • On 3rd Rock from the Sun, Tommy got this highly detailed sex-ed lesson at school:
    Coach: Well... your, uh, man and your... your male and female... they have these certain parts that are, uh... how do you call, uh... complementary to each other. (awkward pause) These parts come into play. (awkward pause) And that's how we all were born.
    Tommy: I'm sorry, but can we get someone who's actually had sex to teach this class?
  • In 8 Simple Rules Cate gets a job teaching Sex Ed for Bridget's class. After assuring Bridget she won't embarrass her, Gilligan Cut to Cate saying "and that's how Bridget was born". Even worse - Bridget claims she used the word 'vulva'.
  • Mentioned in The Adventures of Pete & Pete. Dad wants to have a talk (not The Talk) with younger Pete but younger Pete thinks they're gonna have The Talk:
    Dad: (to Little Pete) Pete, we need to have a talk, as father to son.
    Little Pete: Oh, don't worry, dad. Artie already had that talk with me.
    (Mom faints)
  • Spoofed in an episode of Alexei Sayles Stuff, in the middle of a recreation of the police show Juliet Bravo: One (grown-up) police officer apparently doesn't understand what "women" are, so his female superior calls in another couple of officers to explain "the birds and the bees". This consist of the two officers, wearing bird and bee costumes over their uniforms, performing the following dialogue, woodenly, reading from their notebooks:
    Bee Officer: Buzz buzz buzz. I really like that bird.
    Bird Officer: Flutter flutter flutter. And I really like that bee.
    Both: (together) We'll both have to get married.
    (beat)
    Ignorant Officer: ... Is it something to do with receiving stolen goods?
  • All in the Family: In the flashback episode dealing with Mike and Gloria's wedding, a very flustered Edith attempts to give one of these to Gloria...who gently and discreetly lets her mother know she already understands what she needs to..
  • The Andy Griffith Show: Andy literally tells Opie, "Sometimes, when a man and a woman love each other very much..." and the show dissolves away. Opie tells a friend afterward that he knew all about it already, but didn't say anything since Andy was so eager to tell him.
  • The Big Comfy Couch had an episode where Loonette wonders where babies come from. Granny Garbanzo then tells her a story about clowns showing each other their best tricks in a secret circus late at night.
  • A Bit of Fry and Laurie:
    • Subverted by a sketch in which Fry asks Laurie (playing his son) if he knows where babies come from. Laurie replies "I always sort of assumed that you put your penis into mummy's vagina and then intercourse occurred". Fry responds that this is indeed what they told him but that it is a bit more complicated than that, going on to say that somehow carpets are involved in the process. (The whole sketch turns into a spoof plug for the show's supposed sponsor's "Tideyman's Carpets').
    • Even better in another Fry and Laurie sketch when a father (Laurie) brings his son to the headmaster (Fry) complaining about the "vulgar lies" his son had been taught in his biology class: "Sexual intercourse sometimes leads to pregnancy in the adult female." Apparently the man believed that children came out of nowhere after a man and woman had gotten married and bought a house. This makes the headmaster realize that his son actually was sired by someone else, since he turns out to have never once had sex with his wife.
  • Blackadder: Multiple:
    • In "Money" from the second series, Edmund attempts to explain to Baldrick how chickens are made ("A mummy bird, and a daddy bird, who love each other very much, get certain urges...") before Baldrick interrupts with a cunning plan.
    • In"Goodbyeeee" from the fourth series, when Baldrick asks for permission to ask a question, Blackadder replies "Granted, as long as it's not the one about where babies come from."
  • An episode of Blackish is actually titled "The Talk," where Andre discovers his wife already had it with their son years before, and insists on also doing it himself. The result is Andre Jr. suddenly feeling comfortable sharing each and every dirty thought he has.
  • Blue Bloods: Erin has the talk with her daughter Nicky after her second time on a date, and recalls how, the Reagans being a pretty devout Catholic family, it didn't happen for her until the eve of her wedding when her grandmother sat her down to explain what goes on between spouses in bed.
    Erin: I didn't have the heart to tell her she was a little late.
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
    • Buffy and her mom have a different kind of talk after Angelus tells Joyce that he and Buffy had sex. It is played not for laughs, but for angst, as it brings up the emotional agony Buffy is suffering as a result of Angel losing his soul.
    • In another episode it is played for laughs, as Buffy and Xander offer unsolicited advice to Giles who is struggling over asking Ms. Calendar on a date — Xander asks if they should discuss the facts of life, pointing out that the stork is "a smokescreen".
  • In an episode of Charmed a spell causes sisters to mentally revert to little children. Penny tries to sit Piper down for a talk. Piper thinks it's this talk but Penny is really just trying to tell her she's a witch.
    • In an earlier episode, neighbor Dan asked Piper to help his teenage niece Jenny with a school assignment about the reproductive system, feeling she might be more comfortable discussing it with a woman. When Piper's unavailable, Phoebe has to step in. She's under a time crunch and under a spell that makes her super-intelligent, so she jumps right in with a technical explanation about the egg and sperm. When she sees it's going over Jenny's head, she decides to simplify matters, scribbles something on Jenny's paper, and shoves her out the door. When Jenny looks at her paper, she sees a drawing of an ovum (labeled "US") surrounded by approaching sperm cells (labeled "THEM").
  • The Colbert Report: Stephen Colbert once did a "different" Talk.
  • The Dick Van Dyke Show has an episode involving Robert telling his son about the birds and the bees.
  • The Doctor Who episode "A Good Man Goes to War" has one given to, of all people, the Doctor — and not about his own sexual exploits, but those of Rory and Amy. You'd think after nine-hundred-odd years he'd know about it, and he certainly seems to understand the general idea, but it sure takes him a long time to realise what Madame Vastra is talking about.
    Vastra: I am trying to be delicate. I know how you can blush. When did this baby... begin?
    The Doctor: Oh, you mean... well, how should I know? That's all human-y private stuff, it just sort of goes on. They don't put up a balloon or anything!
  • Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman: Multiple:
    • In one early episode, Mrs. Quinn (Dr. Quinn's visiting mother) explains how things work to Colleen. Poor girl just got her first period and thought the bleeding means she's gonna die.
    • Dr. Quinn asks Sully to give the talk to her adopted son Matthew when he begins courting immigrant girl Ingrid.
    • She ends up needing a version of The Talk herself, with her only knowledge of sex coming from her medical books. Despite being a 30-something woman, she's still a virgin and nervous about her impending wedding night. Luckily, her friend Dorothy is there to offer her advice.
    • An episode plays the trope for a different kind of comedy. After her son was spotted when he tried to spy on some skinny-dipping girls, his mother decides he's old enough for The Talk... and, being a medical doctor, proceeds to read from a textbook on the subject. For hours, apparently. He's bored stiff (NOT THAT WAY) and more confused than ever by the end.
  • On Everybody Loves Raymond, this is somewhat subverted when Ray tries to give Ally a talk about sex. Instead of wanting to know how babies get here, she wanted to know why babies get here, more specifically why God put us here instead of just keeping us in Heaven.
  • Everything Now: Mia's mom not only talks to her about safe sex but also gives her a ton of condoms before she goes on a date, embarrassing her. Then when Mia leaves she calls over Alex, Mia's brother, to do this too.
  • Happens in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in one episode revolving around this trope involving Ashley's curiousness about sex.
    Will: (with Carlton and Hilary behind him) Someone in this house needs to talk about sex, and it ain't one of us.
    Uncle Phil: Oh, Lord; please let it be Geoffery!
  • Fringe reveals that Peter Bishop's form of "the talk" involved Walter doing some father-son bonding over a nude jigsaw puzzle of Miss July and using it as an opportunity to explain human anatomy.
  • Game of Thrones. Lord Tywin of all people is seen beginning one with child king Tommen. Justified as the king producing an heir is Serious Business, to avoid a Succession Crisis like the war that's still raging in Westeros.
  • George Lopez has one with his Dumbass Teenage Son Max when he misinterprets dating advice he gave him and aggressively hits on a woman who was convicted for sleeping with minors.
  • On Gilmore Girls, Lane Kim's ultra-conservative mother hasn't explained anything to her daughter until the day of her wedding. Her advice is essentially to Lie Back and Think of England. Of course, Lane already knows about sex, but she's too mortified to interrupt.
  • Glee manages a surprisingly touching and noteworthy scene between a father, Burt, and his gay son, Kurt. It is awkward, but not as much as it could have been — rather than getting into the mechanics of it, Burt (who's pretty clueless about gay sex anyway) gives Kurt pamphlets to read, and proceeds to talk to him about the emotional impact that sex can have on a man.
    Burt: Believe me, I want to do this even less than you do. This is gonna suck for both of us. But we will get through it together, and we will both be better men because of it. [...] Don't throw yourself around like you don't matter. Because you matter, Kurt.
    • Made even better by the fact that Kurt's first reaction is to stick his fingers in his ears and start singing. Made even worse by the fact that Kurt had actually asked his dad to do some research so that they could have this kind of talk. In the episode right before this. Continuity? What continuity?
  • The Goldbergs episode "You Opened The Door" has Murray try to explain sex to Barry by using Fraggle Rock puppets.
  • Good Times' Willona stubbornly and stupidly refuses to give this to daughter Penny, insisting that she will decide when Penny is ready for it, even though she clearly is—pubertal development has started, a classmate of hers is pregnant, and she's beginning to ask questions.
  • Lampshaded in Happy Days when Joanie is soon to have her first date. Parents first discuss how to broach the subject with her, and Mrs. C. finally decides, "I'll just tell her what my mother told me." Mr. C. answers, "You do that," and then after Mrs. C. leaves the room, he adds, "That if she kisses a boy, she'll go blind." The focus then shifts to Joanie's bedroom, where Mrs. C. is stumbling awkwardly when you can almost see the light go on over Joanie's head. This exchange happens:
    Joanie: Mom! This is my sex talk!
    Mrs. C.: YES!!
  • Played with on Heroes. Bennet brings up the subject of boyfriends, and Claire fears that they are going to have The Talk again. Fortunately, he merely wants to discuss how a boyfriend might be dangerous, as their family is in hiding.
  • The Hogan Family. Sandy gives one to her nephews Mark and Willie after she finds the pornographic movie that they rented, gently but firmly telling them that while she understands their curiosity about sex, watching porn isn't the way to satisfy it—"It doesn't depict lovemaking in a real way, it takes something special and wonderful and makes it crude." A few seasons earlier, Valerie gave one to her oldest son David upon finding the condoms he'd bought and realizing that he was planning to sleep with his girlfriend. She's not thrilled, but still manages to praise him for being responsible and gently reminds him of how important a commitment a sexual relationship is and that both he and is partner should be absolutely certain that they're ready for that.
  • Hope & Faith has Hope try to teach a class of teenagers about sex using sock puppets such as "Abby Abstinence", "Peter Peer-Pressure", "Polly Pregnant" and "Donny Dropout".
  • One episode of House of Payne has Will and Sasha trying to give the talk to their adoptive son, Joaquin. They spend the entire episode fumbling every attempt until Mr. Brown steps in and asks Joaquin point-blank if he knows where babies come from and if he wants to know. Upon receiving a "no" on both questions, Mr Brown sends him off to play and tells the stunned couple to wait until he's older before trying it again.
  • Defied on iCarly. Carly, visibly Squicked, tells Spencer she's not having that conversation with him. Spencer is understandably grateful.
  • One episode of Kate & Allie had Allie giving The Talk to her son. It ended with him in a state of acute embarrassment, wailing "My mom said 'condom'!"
    • Jenny gets one when her mother learns that she's seriously contemplating having sex with her boyfriend.
  • Law & Order: Special Victims Unit:
    • In the episode "Hysteria", Elliot tries to give daughter Kathleen The Talk by speaking entirely in soccer metaphors, after which Kathleen reassures her father she's a virgin.
    • This comes up in a heartbreaking way in the episode "Competence", involving a young pregnant woman with Down Syndrome. The girl's mother had never given her The Talk or allowed her to take sex-ed classes at her day center, believing she wasn't mature enough for that information, and the girl's lack of knowledge hampers detectives' efforts to determine who fathered the baby (and thus determine if it was consensual sex or if she was raped). When another character finally explains to her how babies are made, she replies "That's not sex — that's exercise!" It turned out that the girl's boss at her part-time job had been raping mentally disabled girls for years and calling it exercise, counting on them being too sheltered to know otherwise.
  • In Life Goes On, after accidentally spending the night at her boyfriend's house (they fell asleep watching TV), Drew tries to give Becca the talk as she prepares for her driving test. "You don't want to merge unless you're absolutely sure". An irritated Becca snaps that cars have nothing to do with sex.
  • Jack in Life with Boys is notoriously bad at giving The Talk. So much so that Gabe and Sam decide they should give their youngest brother Spencer The Talk rather than having him traumatized by their father.
  • Played with in Andromeda, when Trance finds a badly-beaten Dylan Hunt in a prison.
    Trance: Here, I want you to drink this very slowly. It's water.
    Dylan: How?
    Trance: How? Well, when two hydrogen atoms love each other very much, they bond with an oxygen atom...
  • Allison from Living With Fran receives two talks. One takes place before the series and is the "How and What", the later one is the "Who and When".
  • Lampshaded in Lois & Clark, where Superman comes to a scientist after he married Lois and stated that he needs to talk since he has a girl now. The scientist thinks at first Superman needs The Talk, but turns out it was about genetic compatibility.
  • The L Word: Generation Q: Bette starts giving her daughter Angelica one after she's started dating. Angelica is embarrassed and begs her to stop.
  • Malcolm in the Middle:
    • Subverted in "Cheerleader". Hal sits Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey down for "the talk" (because he doesn't want to have to have a separate talk for each one), complete with an action figure and something that resembles a Barbie. Beginning with "I wanna tell you about what happens when a boy really likes a girl," shortly into the talk he follows with "...and if they love each other, and take the proper precautions, they have sex. But I've told you about that already." This talk turns out to be about how the men in the family do everything possible to screw up relationships.
    • Double-subverted in a later episode. Lois finds out that Malcolm and his girlfriend are getting serious and, since she's leaving soon and won't have time to give him all the lessons he needs, drags poor Malcolm around in an endless car-trip where she tells him in graphic detail everything she thinks he'll ever need to know about sex. Subverted in that Malcolm already knows all of this and doesn't want to hear it from his mom... and then double-subverted when he actually learns an extremely important lesson from her towards the end. After all, doesn't every teenager think they know it all?
  • Subverted in the Married... with Children episode "Raingirl", where Peggy gives this speech to Kelly:
    Peggy: Kelly, maybe it's time we had a little talk. You're getting to be a big girl now, and there's something I've been putting off telling you for a while. But time is slipping by quickly, and I don't want you to learn about it on the street. Honey, there is a thing out there that men will want you to do. In fact, they'll expect it. Now, no woman really enjoys it, but we do it, get them to marry us, and then never have to do it again. That horrible thing is called "work".
  • The Mary Tyler Moore Show episode "The Birds...and...um...Bees" has Mary getting roped into giving The Talk to Phyllis's daughter, Bess.
  • M*A*S*H: In several early episodes Colonel Blake has to lecture the men on the dangers of catching venereal disease from the local prostitutes, which leads to him resembling an embarrassed father giving The Talk.
  • Deconstructed in The Middle's fourth-season episode "The Hose." Brick tries to opt out of sex-ed class at school because it makes him uncomfortable, making Mike and Frankie realize they've never had "the talk" with him. Before they can, however, he asks his older brother, who gives it all to him in a two-hour session. Brick repeats it when he does finally have sex ed, which results in a parent meeting and ultimately Mike and Frankie talking to Axl.
  • Forms part of the title of the Monk episode "Mr. Monk and the Birds and the Bees", where the title character gives this to Natalie's daughter; he is particularly ill-suited for it.
    Monk: (whispering) I'm supposed to be giving you "the big talk..."
    Julie Teeger: (whispering) Why?
    Monk: Because you're dating an older boy...
    Julie: No, I mean, why you?
    Monk: That's what I said!
  • In Mortified, Taylor spends an entire episode fleeing from her parents who she thinks are trying to give her The Talk. Finally cornered after spraining her ankle, she discovers that they actually want to talk to her about doing her share of the household chores now that she is older. Relieved, she immediately agrees and starts doing the dishes with her mother. However, her mother then takes advantage of having a captive audience to actually give her The Talk.
  • In Mystery Science Theater 3000, sometimes the 'bots ask Joel what the characters in a romantic scene are doing, to his usual reply of "They're sharing secrets." Given Crow and Servo's Ping Pong Naïveté on the topic, they're probably just making Joel feel awkward for the fun of it.
    • One episode ends with Pearl starting to explain things to Bobo after he finds some interesting "balloons" in a men's room vending machine.
    • A host segment during the episode covering Parts: The Clonus Horror had the Mads giving "the talk" to a trio of superpowered Space Children. Pearl rambles on and bitterly about her own failed relationships, Brain Guy gives a surprisingly poetic description of love before denouncing the emotion as unnecessary, and Professor Bobo's advice is... questionable, since it's geared towards Ape Man mating rituals.
      Bobo: You're gonna get kicked in the face, that's always part of it... just grab one leg and hold on tight!
  • My World… and Welcome to It: Comically subverted in "The Human Being and the Dinosaur." Lydia has punched her classmate Fenton Burger for telling her where babies come from. Eventually, it's discovered that Fenton was told by his mother that when daddies put lilies-of-the-valley in the mother's bedroom and open the window to let the bluebirds in, they go out and look for the new baby under a lily pad. Lydia hit him because the explanation was incredibly naive and stupid, not because the boy was being indecorous.
  • Hinted at in NCIS: Los Angeles when Eric compares computer hacking to sex. Hetty tells him that they need to have a long conversation.
  • A sketch from Peter Cook and Dudley Moore's show Not Only... But Also has an upper-class British gent (Peter) trying to explain the facts of life with his naive 17-year-old (going on 18) son (Dudley), who doesn't want to believe the "filthy things they say at school". After much stalling ("In order for you to be brought about... it was necessary for your mother and I... to do something.") he makes wild claims that his son's conception was through his mother sitting in the same chair that he had been in and "was still warm... from my body". It's not quite clear whether he genuinely believes this or was planning to give a real Talk only to chicken out. The conversation eventually escalates into them discussing Uncle Bertie ("Dirty Uncle Bertie they call him at school." "And they're right, Roger! Uncle Bertie is a dirty, dirty man").
  • Sandy and Seth Cohen's exchange in episode 1.19 of The O.C..
  • One Day at a Time (2017): One episode revolves around Penelope deciding she needs to have the Talk with her son Alex, who's about twelve, because she found a (very graphic) porno on his laptop. She's especially not looking forward to it because she and her ex-husband agreed that she'd give the Talk to their daughter Elena, and he'd give it to Alex, but because he's absent, Penelope has wound up stuck with both of them. When Penelope tries to have the discussion, Alex is absolutely mortified and hides under a blanket, asking why Penelope is doing this to him... and then it turns out that Elena is the one who downloaded the movie, meaning Penelope is talking to the wrong kid anyway. (Elena, being fifteen, already knows the facts of life, but the movie is apparently extreme enough that Penelope is worried that a teen watching it might get the wrong idea about sex.) When Elena gets home, Alex hands her the blanket, cryptically warning her, "You'll need this..."
  • On One Life to Live, after a young man is wrongly arrested for rape, his little sister comes to their mother and asks what rape means. As it turns out, the girl has already had the "where babies come from/what sex is/inappropriate touching" talks, but her mother now needs to combine all three to find a way to explain rape to a 10 year old.
  • On Orange Is the New Black, Pennsatucky thinks back to when she got her first period at age 10. Since her mother had not told her anything (not believing that a girl that young could begin to menstruate), she thought she was dying. After getting over her initial shock, her mother tells her over Mountain Dew and ice cream that she isn't dying, that this is normal...and also, that boys and men are going to start looking at her differently and might (whether she likes it or not) use her for sex (because they "only want one thing"), that she just has to take and hope it goes quick, because that's normal too. Pennsatucky is raped at least twice in her life: once at a party, and once while in prison by one of the guards.
  • Ready or Not (1993): Amanda accidentally walks in on her parents, prompting them to separately attempt to have the talk with her.
  • Discussed on The Red Green Show when the guys field a question about how old a child should be before receiving the talk.
    Red: Well, it all depends on the maturity of the child. Some of them are ready at thirteen; others aren't ready until they're...well, how old are you, Harold?
    Harold: Nineteen.
    Red: Until they're twenty-one.
  • Roseanne:
    • An episode has Roseanne and Dan preparing to give this talk to Becky, then discovering that Darlene actually needs it more.
    • A reluctant Dan has to give this talk to DJ after he catches him masturbating.
  • Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Multiple:
    • Pops up in a little conversation, though becomes an Orphaned Punchline as all Salem can say is "when a young woman—"
      Salem: Sabrina, it's time for The Talk.
      Sabrina: Most girls get it from their mother. I get it from the cat.
    • Another episode has Mr Pool announce he'll teach the Biology class about human reproduction. It then cuts to the end of the lesson with a class full of wide-eyed teenagers.
  • Stargate SG-1: Multiple:
    • Subverted memorably in an episode centering around Rya'c getting married in a traditional Jaffa ceremony:
      Teal'c: Before your departure, there is a matter that bears discussion.
      Rya'c: Father, I am aware of the ways between a man and a woman.
      Teal'c: Good. Then you are prepared for the Rite of Or'nok.
      Rya'c: Surely it is not still expected?
      Teal'c: On the first eve of shim'owa. My advice is that the knife be as sharp as possible.
      Rya'c: Perhaps Kar'yn is right. Not all of the old traditions are worth holding on to.
    • The audience knows it's going in a different direction, but Daniel's conversation with Reece (a young, female android) in "Menace" initially sounds like it's heading into The Talk territory. Instead, he's trying to tell her that she's a machine, not a human.
      Daniel: But despite the fact that you and I look very much the same, we're very different.
      Reece: That's obvious.
      Daniel: I mean on the inside.
      Reece: How?
  • Star Trek: The Original Series:
    • In "Amok Time", Kirk and Spock's conversation about pon farr plays out a bit like this. "Are you referring to... Vulcan biology?"
    • "The Apple" shows that Spock still doesn't like talking about such things.
    • There's also "Charlie X", in which Kirk and McCoy debate hotly who has to give the titular Charlie "The Talk". Turns out Kirk's absolute rubbish at it. Trips over himself the whole way and ends up telling Charlie almost nothing.
  • Defied in the Star Trek: Voyager episode "Someone to Watch Over Me". The Doctor is about to give Seven a Large Ham version (especially the part where "Fortress Ovum is besieged by countless little warriors") before she bluntly tells him that his explanation is irrelevant.
  • In Ted (2024), Blaire convinces Matty and Susan to have this with John, although Matty ends up getting flustered and just giving him the talk with a car analogy instead.
  • Subverted in Teen Wolf. When Scott's mom lets him borrow the car to go to a party, she asks if they need to have "The Talk." Scott replies not to worry, that he's not going to have sex, to which his mom replies, aghast, that she's referring to "The Talk" about filling up the car with gas when you borrow it.
  • Subverted on a Halloween episode of That's So Raven. Corey thinks he's too old to go trick-or-treating with his father, which prompts this exchange:
    Corey: Dad, I think it's time we had... the talk.
    Victor: (Beat) TANYA!
    Corey: Not THAT talk!
  • An odd example of this is in the live-action version of The Tick (2001), where Janet and Batmanuel try to explain sex to The Tick.
  • Upper Middle Bogan: After an embarrassing sex ed talk at Oscar and Edwina's school their parents offer to answer any questions they have; Edwina is not interested but Oscar is very enthusiastic which makes his parents uncomfortable. In a later episode, Edwina asks her mother the age at which she first had sex but has already decided that the reason for her aunt's marriage problems was having sex too early, before they were emotionally ready, which delights her mother.
  • Done on The Wonder Years. Doug Porter goes into a catatonic state after receiving The Talk.
  • Neil of The Young Ones claims that he didn't believe his parents when they had The Talk, apparently because they'd neglected to make it clear that "the birds and the bees" is only a euphemism.
    Neil: "What if the bird got stung, like, halfway through...?"
  • Young Sheldon:
    • In "A Live Chicken, a Fried Chicken and Holy Matrimony", George Sr. tries to have the talk with Georgie, after he invites his girlfriend Jana over.
    • Mary attempts to have the talk with Missy and Sheldon in "Money Laundering and a Cascade of Hormones". Missy won't listen to her, and Sheldon just wants to tell fun facts.
  • Danger Force:
    • In "Vidja Games" Mika and Miles's parents want to have "The Talk" with them but they're scared so they paid a local celebrity on Howdee to have "The Talk" with them instead. It was Brainstorm from Danger Force who started to give them "The Talk". Horrified, Mika and Miles say that they already know where baby twins come from and that they don't need "The Talk".

    Music 
  • In the calypso song "Man Piaba", made famous by Harry Belafonte, the narrator is a young man trying to find out about sex; however, all the adults he ask get flustered and end up lapsing into gibberish when they try to answer. The song's end reveals that he lived to be 93 without ever losing his virginity or even learning what sex was.

    Podcasts 
  • In Live From Mount Olympus, upon hearing Perseus doesn't have a father, Hermes retorts that everyone does and asks if he has to start at the beginning. He sings a short song about the mythological birds and the bees.
    When a gooood loves a womaaan...

    Radio 
  • Subverted by the Belgian humorist Philippe Geluck. The Talk starts with rather naive language, to quickly switch into barely understandable anatomy class.[1]
    When a man is very in love with a woman, and the woman is also very in love with the man who is in love with her, they want to stay close to each other [...]the erection come from arterial blood kept under pressure within erectils organs while blocked by veins contraction.
  • In the Gloomsbury episode "The Theory and Practice of Hanky Panky", one of the plotlines is that Henry isn't keen on giving the talk to his sons, and is trying to give the job to someone else. At the end, Vera informs him that she's finally tasked Venus Traduces with it, despite the fact that earlier in the episode Venus wanted Vera to be the father of her children, and was quite surprised to learn this wouldn't work.
  • Subverted in the show's usual surreal manner by The Very World of Milton Jones:
    Milton: You wanted to see me, father?
    Father: Ah yes... Milton, I think it's time we had a talk about the birds and the bees... As you've probably noticed, they've almost completely surrounded the house now!
    (sound of curtain being drawn back, angry squawking and buzzing is heard)
  • In the What Does The K Stand For episode "Working for a Living", Michael's parents insist that they've given their children the talk, even though neither Michael nor his sister have any recollection of this. It eventually transpires that they waited until both teenagers had headphones on, to avoid any awkward questions.

    Theater 
  • Arcadia opens with the question " Septimus, what is carnal embrace?" Septimus, being unwilling to answer this truthfully, replies that "Carnal embrace is the practice of throwing one's arms around a side of beef." Of course, this comes back to his great discomfort later, when Thomasina informs her parents that "Septimus taught me all there is to know about Carnal Embrace."
  • Once Upon a Mattress devotes an entire song, called "Man to Man Talk," to a mute father attempting to explain about the bees and flowers via hand motions to his son the prince. The son wants to know more about the wedding night, but the embarrassed father resorts to miming the old fable about the Delivery Stork (dangling a handkerchief from his mouth while flapping his arms and standing on one leg). Fortunately, the son sees through this.
  • Spring Awakening opens with Wendla's mother trying to give her the talk, but as a prudish 19th century woman she can't quite bring herself to fully explain it. The effects of this later in the play are quite bad indeed.
    In order for a woman to conceive a child... she must... love her husband, love him... as she can love only him! With her whole... heart! There, now you know everything.
  • Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier has a hysterical scene where Ja'far gives the Princess a variant of this. It's not the "where babies come from" talk (being sixteen, she knows that already), but the possibly more excruciating "men are after one thing and will try and take advantage of naive young girls like you, so be careful" talk. Ja'far warns her that men will act all sweet, get girls to trust them, get them alone... and then whip it out. Their songs, that is.
    The Princess: [visibly relieved] Ohhhh. Songs.
    Ja'far: Yes. Be wary of young men and their songs. A song is often a prelude to a dick.
    [Beat while the Princess processes this.]
    Ja'far: A song is a dick in sheep's clothing!

    Theme Parks 
  • Disney Theme Parks:
    • Disney's EPCOT Center (you read that right) once had an attraction called The Making of Me, which showed a short film about human reproduction starring Martin Short.
    • And while waiting in the lines at Autotopia, several looping short films play on the walls. One of them is a father car giving his daughter car a talk about literal birds and bees.

    Video Games 
  • In Dragon Age: Origins, Wynne playfully delivers The Talk to Alistair in a bit of party dialogue if the female Player Character begins a romance with him. Alistair is not amused. Zevran does it too, although his is about technique. Alistair is even less amused. If Zevran is being romanced, Shale tries to give him the talk.
  • Fallout 3: When the game time-jumps from your 10th to your 16th birthday, you can hear your father telling you in a voiceover: "Boys and Girls have different... parts."
  • In FTL: Faster Than Light, there's a random event called "Two Smashed Ships", which involves two Engi ships that have apparently smashed into each other. If you have an Engi crewmate, they can explain that the two ships are "achieving an union" and forming a third vessel. The explanation involves pictures, and the Engi is very embarrassed.
  • In I Was a Teenage Exocolonist, Marz mentions that her dads taught her about reproduction when she was growing up, but were invoked "squicked out" when she asked them how to get someone to "actually have sex" with her.
  • A variation in Golden Sun: Dark Dawn, when King Paithos has to explain to his nephew Amiti not the facts of life, but rather, exactly why the latter doesn't have a father. In front of our heroes.
  • Mentioned briefly in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City in the advertisment for Blox. "Now Timmy is clean, safe from things like dyslexia and won't ask any difficult questions about reproduction."
  • Growing Up: At one point, one of your parents sits down with you to discuss something important, but you can quickly assume that it's about that talk. However, they clarify that they'll remind you to pursue your passions and learn new skills.
  • Steve's dad gives a hilarious/profoundly disturbing view on the subject in Harvester. It involves at least three bolts, a chair, several scalpels, and some barbed wire...
  • In Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords, Mira will deliver a bounty hunter's version of The Talk to the Handmaiden (if the player character is male) or the player (if the player character is female) if asked how to get a guy's attention.
    Mira: It's simple. When you want a man, you jab him with a Bothan stunner. Then while he's screaming in pain, slap some stun cuffs on him. Then starve him for two or three days until he becomes open to suggestion. Then double-check his bounty and see if he's worth anything.
  • Mass Effect:
    • In Mass Effect 2, Mordin gives Shepard a talk, which varies depending on who he/she is romancing. They're all mostly about how to do it safely with biotics or other species, which mixed with Mordin's Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness and Motor Mouth tendencies are all pretty funny to listen to. If you're romancing a biotic he'll give you a book detailing "create use of mass effect fields" (if you're biotic this is even funnier). He actually gives useful info as well, not just comic relief. For example, romancing Garrus causes a warning that ingesting turian... fluids... will probably result in a possibly fatal allergic reaction due to it being made of dextro-amino acids, while romancing Tali has a warning about being careful because, coupled with incompatible amino acids, along with the lack of immune system that defines all quarians, having a passionate night could potentially kill her. If you're romancing Thane, he'll warn you that oral contact with his skin can cause hallucinations.
    • In Mass Effect 3, EDI may ask Shepard for advice about pursuing a romantic relationship with Joker. Shepard's face upon realizing that they've just been roped into giving The Talk to their ship's AI is priceless.
      EDI: Shepard, you have firsthand sexual experience; how do you know when someone is romantically invested?
      Shepard: Uhhhh...
  • In The Sims 4, parents can talk to their teenage kids about woohoo. It leads to both sides feeling embarrassed. In fact, that seems to be the only point of the interaction, as it serves no practical purpose in game. Occasionally, however, the interaction might not result in embarrassment and one or both might get a possible moodlet.
  • In South Park: The Fractured but Whole Mr. Mackey attempts this early on as a way for the game to let you establish your character's gender identity. Later on, he tries to continue this in order to let the game establish your sexual orientation.
  • In Warcraft III, repeatedly clicking on the Dwarvern Mortar Team results in them having the following exchange:
    Dwarf 1: ...and that's how baby Dwarves are made.
    Dwarf 2: Eugh...!
  • Xenoblade Chronicles 3 has a very unusual take on the trope. Specifically, it's Played for Drama, since The Talk needs to be delivered to a group of 18- to 20-year-olds; due to the circumstances surrounding Agnus and Kevesi society, they had utterly no concept of reproduction until introduced to a newborn in person. The Talk itself is delivered off-screen by a medical professional, and there's no squeamishness in the aftermath; the characters are too enraptured by the concept of free, independent life being created to think of anything but how amazing this alternative way of life is.
    Doctor: Well, you're in for a surprise. Buckle up!

    Visual Novels 
  • In Disgaea Infinite, Jennifer offers to give this to Laharl, since he's "at such a complicated age." He freaks out and refuses, but the prinny can make mind-control him into accepting.
  • Magical Diary: Something of a Running Gag in Horse Hall. Professor Potsdam will sometimes open a Green (Life) Magic class sounding like she's about to lead into the talk, only for it to turn out to be something unrelated. She does eventually get round to it, kinda. Apparently, there are no rules against any kind of love in Iris Academy, but no student is allowed to cause or carry a pregnancy. For example:
    • The first opening:
      Professor Potsdam: Today you're going to learn about Green Magic - the magic of life. This is a very important skill for any witch or wizaard to have, especially when you get to a certain age.
      Your body is a garden to be cared for. Wuth proper tending, it could last you for centuries.
    • The second time a cutscene happens:
      Professor Potsdam: Please, kts and cubs, take your seats. There are some things we should talk about before your magical education progresses any further.
      Most of you know yourselves as either a boy or a girl, and that identity may be importamt to you.
      Player Character's thoughts: ... Wait, is this going to be sex education?!?
      Professor Potsdam: But even with humans, sex is not always as simple as 'male' or 'female' with nothing in-between. And in the magical world, there are many more possibilities which you should be aware and respectful of.
      Player Character's thoughts: ... Guess not.

    Webcomics 

    Web Original 
  • In several episodes of Game Grumps, Arin and Dan both talk about how they received it, the highlight being that Arin's parents did such a bad job explaining homosexuality that he thought he was gay for a few years afterward because he loved his father.
    • Danny's story is just as funny. When he was 16 he and his family were driving to Atlantic City, which he described as normally being a very quiet drive where no one really talked, his father suddenly turned down the music and said, "Dan? Do you know about... ehh, sex?" Danny, who was already well aware of the birds and the bees by this point, confirmed that he did, to which is father cheerfully said, "OK!" and then proceeded to turn the music back up and never spoke of the matter again.
  • The Nostalgia Critic: The Critic's parents telling him about the birds and the bees apparently included God injecting Adam with sperm. No wonder his sex life is fucked up.
  • This is seen in a brief Walfas short in which Flandre asks "Sakuya, what's sex?", to which Sakuya tries to explain what she thought the former meant.
  • Equestria Chronicles has Wishing Star give Iron Hoof the talk. For context: Iron Hoof's mom was very strict and psychologically abusive, while Wishing Star is very casual talking about sex and has experimented quite a bit...
  • A Vulture interview with the cast of Bob's Burgers leads to an improvised in-character scenario where Gene asks his parents to tell him how babies are made. Teddy helps by showing copies of Playgirl magazine from The '70s, thinking it's Playboy, with Linda remarking on how hairy everybody is. Gene is disturbed but intrigued enough to get a Grindr account.

    Western Animation 
  • In The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius, Jimmy is having trouble with a bully, but his parents think he's talking about a girl, so mom Judy tries to get Hugh to give Jimmy the talk. Hugh struggles with the words, but by the time he gets the nerve to do it the conflict is resolved and Hugh ends up giving the talk to Jimmy's robot dog Goddard.
  • American Dad! The episode "A Smith in the Hand" had Stan try to give it to Steve (who doesn't know as much as he pretends to). Stan, being an ultra-conservative, and this being the first season before he's lightened up, doesn't give good advice (he says if you have sex before you're married angels will kill you, then shows Steve a 1950s short film about the evils of masturbation). At the end of the episode, he finally decides to play it straight and apparently gets quite explicit... but forgets to turn the camera off while on a children's television show (a Show Within a Show).
  • Beavis And Butthead: In "No Laughing," the titular duo have the misfortune of being banned from laughing just in time for sex education week in Coach Buzzcut's class.
    Coach Buzzcut: That's right: sex-ed week! We're gonna be talking about the PENIS! We'll be talking about the VAGINA! Do you think that's funny, Butthead? Do you find it amusing that we'll be talking about the TESTICLES? Yes, we'll also be talking about VENEREAL DISEASE! SEXUAL INTERCOURSE! THE SCROTUM! THE CLITORIS! And- and we will definitely be spending a lot of time talking about MASTURBATION!
  • Carl²: Carl's parents decide to give him the talk at the end of "Carl's Techno-Jinx", complete with a helpful educational video.
  • The Cow and Chicken episode "The Day I Was Born" had Cow ask her brother Chicken, her parents, her teacher, and the Red Guy how she was born and receiving different answers. Chicken claims that Cow is adopted, which only confuses her because she doesn't know what adopted means, while Mom claims the stork brought her, Dad gives the story that Cow was found in a cabbage, the Teacher tells Cow that she hatched from an egg, and the Red Guy gives the truth of how he delivered her the day she was born.
  • In one episode of Doug, Roger's Tomcat is Pregnant, leading to this exchange.
    Doug: Stinky is a girl? Roger, why didn't you tell me?
    Roger: Well, how was I supposed to know?
    Roger's mom: Son, we're way past due for a very important talk.
  • Drawn Together: After Toot convinces the incredibly naive Princess Clara that she's pregnant (because Clara kissed Foxy, and in fairy tales, the Big Damn Kiss precedes Babies Ever After), Foxy decides to explain to Clara why that's not possible. She describes it as a "special hug" between a man and woman, with a cartoony visual aid... that turns out to be Animated Actors she hired for the occasion. Clara's even more distraught, since she now knows why her Wicked Stepmother put a curse on her vagina, so no man would want to have the "special hug" with her.
  • Ed, Edd n Eddy plays with this in "I Am Curious Ed", in which Sarah and Jimmy try to get a straight answer on where babies come from, from one of the other kids. Kevin and Nazz are too embarrassed to tell them, Johnny only seems to know how it happens with birds, and Rolf offers to tell them what his father told him when he was their age, which turns out to be "You are children, go away!" When they turn to the Eds, Eddy just plain misleads them, Edd gets hung up on the metaphor of bee reproduction, and it turns out Ed still believes in the stork.
  • The Fairly OddParents!:
    • In the episode "Mighty Mom & Dyno Dad", after using their new superpowers to get their jobs done super quick Timmy's parents are left with just enough time to spend with Timmy before he catches the school bus. As Timmy leaves, it's implied that they had The Talk.
      Mr. Turner: And that's all you need to know about where babies come from.
      Timmy: But what's the machine for?
      Mr. Turner: I'll tell you when you're older.
    • In the movie Channel Chasers, Wanda is trying to explain what happens when kids grow up and their fairies leave, but Cosmo (who's in a toilet after a very hot shower) misunderstands.
      Timmy: Older? What happens when I get older?
      Cosmo: Ah, Timmy. It's time for a little talk about something we fairies like to call "The Wands and the Wings". [Cosmo pulls out a pink sock puppet and a green sock puppet and makes them kiss] You see, when a mommy fairy and a daddy fairy love each other very much...
      Wanda: [slams toilet lid on Cosmo] Cosmo, no! Not that speech!
      Cosmo: But I already got the puppets out!
    • After Poof is conceived and Timmy is confused why it's Cosmo who's pregnant, Cosmo decides to tell him about the "birds and the Bee Gees", which winds up just being a speech about the Bee Gees getting overplayed to the point of annoyance.
  • In F is for Family, after Bill is caught with a dirty movie, Frank decides he needs to have this with him, but he's so afraid of saying the wrong thing, that the whole thing becomes super awkward. Bill eventually tells him not to worry about it, because he already knows about sex... from accidently witnessing Frank and Sue together.
    • Frank's own talk with his father wasn't much better:
    Big Bill: Women are the Devil, don't ever touch yourself and now quit bugging me and hand me that fucking monkey wrench before I hit you with it.
  • Glenn Martin, DDS: Conor and Courtney have to suffer their dad giving them the talk not only once, but multiple times due to him forgetting the last time he explained it to him via an amnesia-based "Groundhog Day" Loop. Each time, he inadvertently finds a different way of ruining their innocence.
  • Gravity Falls: In the episode "Carpet Diem", Stan ends up giving one of these to Mabel trapped in Dipper's body, thinking it is actually Dipper. It skips over most of it, with the implication that it was extremely explicit: Stan gets out a book titled Why Am I Sweaty?: Your Body Explained in Horrifyingly Uncomfortable Detailnote , opens to a page explaining how the pituitary gland has "big plans", then the show switches over to a scene from the B-plot (Soos trapped in Waddles' body running around the town), and then it cuts back to Stan closing the book and saying "... and now you know where babies come from." The thoroughly traumatized expression on Mabel-Dipper's face says it all...
    Mabel: ...Goodbye childhood.
  • Parodied in Green Lantern: The Animated Series: Razer begins to get very flirtatious with Aya, even though normally he's aloof and Cannot Spit It Out. When Aya mentions this to Hal, he seems slightly flustered before mentioning that organic beings have things called "hormones..." (For the record, Razer's possessed.)
  • In the Jimmy Two-Shoes "Pet Rocky", Beezy goes to his dad Lucius to ask for a pet. Lucius assumes he's asking for this and proceeds to take out two dolls and make them kiss each other before being interrupted by reality.
  • King of the Hill:
    • Bobby's biology class was going to do a sex-ed unit, which Hank and Peggy opposed. Hank said that if their son needed to know anything about sex, he would learn it at home. Of course, it turned out that they were both intensely uncomfortable with the idea of talking about sex with their son, so they caved and signed the permission slip. Then Peggy, a substitute teacher, was asked to sub for the biology class, so she had to work to overcome her aversion to The Talk. (The fact that her own mother's version of The Talk amounted to giving her a book filled with pictures of flowers didn't help.) But then it turns out that none of the other childrens' parents signed the permission slip, so they all leave the classroom and go to the library when it's time to start the lesson. By that time, the only two in the room are Peggy and Bobby.
    • While Hank and Peggy failing to talk to Bobby about sex was initially funny, Peggy slowly working to overcome her aversion also showed the Double Standard over it being seen as okay for boys to have sex but not girls, and also demonstrated how grossly repressed Hank and Peggy's adult friends were. One of Peggy's friends mentioned that after her mother had shown her the same book Peggy had read, whenever she has sex with her husband she just "lays back and thinks about those pretty flowers" while he does whatever he wants. Peggy is very disturbed by that.
  • Life with Louie had Louie's Dad try to give Louie "The Talk" and ended up comparing it to the Invasion of Normandy. As a result, Louie thought that all babies come from France.
  • In The Lion Guard, when Simba tells his son Kion they need to talk, Kion assumes he wants to give him a different talk:
    Kion: We already had the talk! "Can you feel the love tonight", remember?
  • The Oh Yeah! Cartoons short "Ask Edward: All About Babies" had Edward and his little brother Emo both believing that babies come from eggs delivered by the Delivery Stork after being sent a request form from the parents on Christmas, Easter, or whenever one of the children they already have has lost a tooth for the Tooth Fairy to get. The boys eventually find an egg that they think to be their new brother but are horrified when their mother cooks the egg in front of them and tries to get Edward to eat it. After realizing what the fuss is about, their mother then tries to set them straight by having their father explain the facts of life, but that only leads to Edward and Emo thinking that eggs will only contain babies if they have been pollinated by bees.
  • In one Pinky and the Brain episode, Pinky falls in love with a sea lion and the Brain (who doesn't seem to think much of interspecies relationships) attempts to explain to him that "mice and sea lions don't mix":
    Brain: Pinky, do you know where baby mice come from?
    Pinky: Mmm-hmm! They come from a magic factory on the moon!
  • The adult Cloudcuckoolander King Julien has to be given The Talk in The Penguins of Madagascar when he is convinced an egg Marlene has found is going to hatch into a lemur.
    Maurice: Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure whatever is in that egg, it ain't one of us.
    King Julien: Oh, really, Mr. Smarty-Booty? And where do you think JJ will hatch from, if not from an egg? [sips drink]
    Maurice: Well, mammals usually come from— [whisper]
    King Julien: [spit take] Do not gross me out with nonsense, Maurice!
  • The Pound Puppies (1980s) episode "Where Do Puppies Come From?" had Bright Eyes and Whopper being confused about where puppies come from, at one point coming to the conclusion that puppies come from honey. After sugarcoated lectures prove ineffective in slaking their curiosity, Cooler sets them straight by having them watch Lucy give birth to her own puppies.
  • Occurs in Recess. Miss Grotke gives everyone the talk after Gordy (one of the minor characters) asks her about it. Due to the show's TV-G rating, we only see the discussion ending.
  • A Robot Chicken sketch has Master Splinter teaching his wards about sex, but the turtles get their biology confused when they want to have sex with April.
    Splinter: You are teenagers now. It is finally time for... The Talk.
    [some time later, Splinter turns off the TV]
    Splinter: That was a good episode of The Talk. Now, we talk about sex.
  • An episode of Rugrats had Angelica asking where babies come from. Drew and Charlotte agree to tell her the truth... but chicken out and tell her she hatched from an egg (which is technically true).
  • Subverted in Sid the Science Kid. Sid asks his parents "Where did I come from?". At first it seems like Sid's going to learn about reproduction, but instead there's a fourth wall breaking behind-the-scenes look on how the show is created. The segment ends in Sid's parents mind-wiping him ala Men in Black, so a confused and terrified Sid forgets that he's a fictional character.
  • The Simpsons:
    • Occurs for full comedic effect between Bart and Homer in the Season 16 episode "All's Fair in Oven War". Homer gives Bart The Talk after finding out Bart is using his Playdude magazines (that had all of the nude photographs cut out by Marge) to give advice to his friends, to the chagrin of their parents. The Talk ends with Bart running around the neighborhood screaming and going door-to-door to pass the knowledge onto his peers, all of which are equally freaked out. At that point and taking certain of his past comments and actions, one would think Bart was already well aware. Recent episodes illustrate that he somehow doesn't know what it is again... then other times he does.
      Bart: What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them — as is my understanding...
    • It's not like Bart didn't know already, however — although he possibly doesn't remember due to his age at the time.
    • Homer attempted this with Bart even earlier, in Season 4's "New Kid on the Block," on Marge's orders. However, in that case it became a Metaphorgotten speech comparing women to beer in which he was derailed from his point by the urge to go for another can and eventually became too drunk to remember what they'd been talking about in the first place.
      Homer: Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good. They look good. You'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
    • Bart, along with all of Mrs. Krabappel's class, watched a 1970s film about puberty and sex, titled Fuzzy Bunny's Guide to You-Know-What, all the way back in the Season 3 episode "Bart's Friend Falls in Love".
      Narrator: And now for the honeymoon!
      Kids: [cries of disgust]
      Mrs. Krabappel: [deadpan] She's faking it.
  • South Park:
    • In "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut", Cartman asks his mom during dinner if he actually has a dad, considering he never knew who he was. Cartman's mom goes on to give the talk, only for Cartman to ask her "who put his who-who-dilly in her cha-cha". And after that, Cartman's search for his dad begins.
    • In the episode "Proper Condom Use", the parents in town vote to include Sex Ed in the school curriculum because they are too uncomfortable giving The Talk to their kids. It turned into a disaster because Mr. Mackey knew next to nothing about sex, having forgotten most of his single sexual experience in college and never having learned anything else about it, Mrs. Choksondik opted for Scare 'Em Straight without actually explaining what sex is, and Mr. Garrison is a total pervert who tried to teach a class of kindergartners about exotic sex positions and how to put a condom on with your mouth.
    • Subverted in "The Return of the Fellowship of the Rings to the Two Towers", in which the town's parents are afraid their children have seen a wild porn film. When they learn Token saw the tape, they try a traditional "when a man and a woman love each other" sort of talk, only for him to snap out of his Heroic BSoD to ask "And when the woman has four penises in her at once, then stands up and pees all over the men... is that love? Five midgets, spanking a man covered in Thousand Island dressing... is that love?" At the end of the episode, when they catch up to the rest of the kids, who did not see the film, the parents out of the blue start trying to explain group sex, urine fetishism, etc. to the children's' shock and horror.
  • The Venture Brothers:
    • Dr. Venture decides to give Dean "the talk" since he has a girlfriend (kinda). All we get is a muted montage section with some interesting gestures, a GI Joe humping a lamp, and various other things. Next thing we know the topic has somehow moved to the breakup of Whitesnake. Dean ends up staging a small version of Lady Windermere's Fan for Triana (his female friend).
      Dr. Venture: Now sit down and let me explain something that every boy your age has known for like five years.
    • In "Victor. Echo. Novemeber.", Triana gets her own Talk from her father before she leaves for a double date. She heads off his Mills and Boon Prose as unnecessary, not because she already knows everything, but because the date is with the Venture brothers.
      Dr. Orpheus: When young women reach estrus, the lingam craves the stamen-like skills of the Yoni. This is quite natural.

Ironic Examples:

    Comedy 
  • A one-liner from Rodney Dangerfield: "What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife."
  • Bill Engvall talks to his son...
    So I sat him down and said, "Son, I know you already know a lot of things, so why don't you do this: why don't you tell me what you know, and I'll just fill in the blank spots." About 30 minutes later, I'm sitting there with a pen and a pad of paper, going, "You can DO that?!?"
    • It's worth noting, though, that Bill didn't get much help from his own father in this area.
      "Dad, when are you gonna tell me about sex? I'm thirty!"
  • Jerry Seinfeld had one routine where his father kept telling him not to touch the thermostat, leaving him confused and paranoid about what the thermostat actually was.
    "I waited my whole life to find out. Finally, one day, he did. He sat me down and told me this whole story about the sperm, the egg, intercourse... I said, 'Dad, who cares? Get to the part where the thermostat comes in!'"

    Comic Books 
  • A Running Gag in the earliest Runaways comics had Cute Bruiser Molly asking about "gross stuff" and "bleeding" happening to her and being constantly brushed off by everyone she asks. It turns out she was bleeding from her nose, a sign of her emerging Puberty Superpower.
    Molly: Can I ask you a question about girl stuff?
    Gertrude: Under no circumstances.
  • In the second volume of Ultimate Spider-Man, after Mary Jane and Peter have been having a private talk in Peter's room, Aunt May checks to see if Peter needs one of these. He's suitably mortified. Of course, Aunt May knows full well that Peter and Uncle Ben had The Talk. She just wanted Peter to know not to try anything in the house because it would be just as awkward, if not more so.
    Aunt May: Do you know about that?
    Peter: What?
    Aunt May: [close-up on face] That.
    Peter: Oh God, stop talking!

    Comic Strips 
  • Subverted in Bloom County, when Lola Granola's mother tries to give her The Talk... on her wedding day, when she's already an adult. Lola responds that she's known all this stuff for years, making her mother go catatonic.
  • FoxTrot:
    • Andy decides to give Paige the talk for a second time while the male members of the family are out on a Horrible Camping Trip.
    Paige: Mom, please, we talked about all this three years ago.
    Andy: That was just the basic overview. You're ready for the birds and the bees Lesson #2.
    Paige: I do watch network television, you realize.
    Andy: ...Good point. We'd better skip to Lesson #40.
    • A later Sunday strip sees Paige wanting to have "the Talk" with Andy; when Andy points out that they already had the birds and the bees talk, she clarifies that she meant the "stop-posting-dorky-stuff-on-my-Facebook-wall" talk.
  • Subverted in Life in Hell, in an early strip where Binky is trying to answer his son Bongo's questions before tucking him in.
    Bongo: Daddy, where do babies come from?
    Binky: Do you know what fucking is?
    Bongo: Yup.
    Binky: Well, that's how babies are made.
    Bongo: Oh. That's interesting.
  • Played straight and subverted by Madam & Eve when Thandi asks about "unprotected sex" here.
  • Zits: Being that the strip is about teenage life, it has this topic come up occasionally. In one story arc, Walt takes Jeremy fishing, and decides to have the talk with him while waiting for a catch. After some initial resistance, Jeremy replies, "Fine. What do you want to know?"

    Fan Works 
  • The Lee/Gaara fic Diplomatic Relations has a side chapter in which older brother Kankuro tries to have the talk with Gaara, who has known the specifics of sex since he was a preteen, is already having sex with Lee, and has no idea what tact is. Kankuro is in desperate need of Brain Bleach by the time it's over.
  • In Harry Potter and the Quantum Leap Hermione's father tries to give twelve-year-old Harry the talk. Since Harry is actually a time-traveling adult, this turns into him telling Dan Granger a thing or two fairly quickly.
  • The My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic The Talk is naturally about this, with Spike getting the talk from Twilight after he walks in on what he thinks is Twilight and Caramel about to have sex. Spike reveals he knows already. It's actually Played for Drama: Spike knows because he's heard stallions make lewd comments about mares and is afraid Twilight will run afoul of one that will only want a lay.

    Films — Live-Action 
  • Casper includes this brief exchange:
    Kat: I want to look... nice, like... like date nice.
    Dr. Harvey: Really? Uh... Honey, you know, I think maybe it's time that we sat down—
    Kat: It's a little late for that, Dad.
    Dr. Harvey: How late?
    Kat: Oh! Don't worry, not that late.
  • In Memoirs of a Geisha, Mameha tries to teach Sayuri about how a man's "eel" likes to visit a woman's "cave", to which Sayuri says "Yes, I know." When Mameha expresses surprise that a virgin geisha would know about such things, Sayuri just says "I live with Hatsumomo!"
  • Orphan: Esthar, the titular orphan and Creepy Child walks in on her adoptive parents having sex in the kitchen. The mother confronts her later and attempts to explain that "When two people love each other very much—" The girl interrupts with "I know. They fuck." Of course, it turns out the "child" has a bad attack of Older Than They Look...
  • In The Parent Trap (1961), the father decides to have the Talk with Sharon (disguised as Susan) on a golf course, assuming that's why she's wanting to know about her mother all of a sudden. After a few minutes of awkward explanation, Sharon tells him she's known about that for ages.

    Literature 
  • In one of Dave Barry's columns, he described how as a young man, he worked at a camp for underprivileged children, where he defines "underprivileged" to mean "knew a lot more about sex than I did".
    "I would talk to them and give helpful, adult advice such as 'Wow!' and 'Really?' There are times I would have given my eye teeth to be an underprivileged child."
  • In Belgarath the Sorcerer, Belgarath finally bites the bullet and tries to give the Talk to his daughter Polgara, something he was extremely reluctant to do, and he proceeds awkwardly...until halfway through, when he finally figures out that she already knew. She just wanted to watch him stew over it.
  • Discworld:
    • Subverted in Mort when the ancient Arch-Wizard Albert tells the title character that "... there's some things a lad ought to be tole before he's sixteen." Mort is about to explain that he already knows about The Talk, but then Albert clarifies he wasn't talking about that.
    • Call-Back in Soul Music, when Albert has a very similar conversation with Mort's daughter, Susan.
    • Whenever the subject comes up, Tiffany Aching comments that she knows about this already because of her numerous older sisters. She also witnessed her brother's birth, since nobody bothered to send her away. Don't forget she was born on a sheep farm. She knows about the... red bags of chalk tied to the rams.
  • In The Mirror, Shay gets two different "night before the wedding" versions, one from her own mother in 1976 (Rachel's version is that if Shay's pregnant, there are options other than marriage), the other from her great-grandmother in 1900 (Sophie thinks she's talking to her daughter Brandy, who will eventually be Rachel's mother, not knowing about a "Freaky Friday" Flip caused by the titular family heirloom) which is a LOT more awkward, since Sophie's seriously flustered by even having to refer to such matters. Sophie's version amounts to Lie Back and Think of England. Rachel also tells Shay (and we see the conversation between Brandy/Shay and Rachel later on) that her own "night before the wedding" talk was a rather detailed explanation of "the birds and the bees".
  • Tony's dad tries to give him a talk in Then Again, Maybe I Won't by Judy Blume, saying he doesn't really know how to go about it, as he never brought the matter up with his two older son. Tony assures him that he's learned all about it from school and friends, but his dad gives him a book later, just in case.

    Live-Action TV 
  • On Arrested Development, Tobias thinks George Michael is asking him to give the talk. Actually, George Michael is trying to figure out whether Maeby is adopted.
  • Dream On:
    • Excellently spoofed: Martin steels himself to tell Jeremy the Facts of Life and is hugely relieved when Jeremy says, "Dad, I know all this. We learned it at school." Martin smiles and relaxes, calmly asking if Jeremy has any questions. "Yeah, what's cunnilingus?" Cut to man falling from a building with a horrified scream. Followed immediately by a series of equally direct questions, with similar clips as "responses".
    • Played straight(er) later by Martin talking to Jeremy about a completely different matter and wrapping up by saying it was "as awkward as bad sex".
      Jeremy: [looking stunned] Sex can be bad?!
  • In the Freaks and Geeks episode "Tests and Breasts", Sam receives one of these from Coach Fredricks, after he watches a porno with Neil and Bill and submits some alarming anonymous questions on his telltale Star Trek notebook paper.
  • Marion's talk with Joanie on Happy Days.
  • On Home Improvement, Tim has already long given Brad The Talk, being that he is supposed to be about 15, but things are a bit complicated when there is suspicion that Brad is active with his girlfriend. This leads to Tim having to specify concepts of safe-sex and things get even more awkward when Brad asks him about his first time. They have an honest discussion, which finishes with...
    Brad: So, when will I know I'm a man?
    Tim: Your Mom and I will tell you!
  • iCarly: Spencer tells Carly they need to talk, Carly stars with "Yeah, I know, when a mom and a dad..." Spencer cuts her off with a "No! Not that!"
  • In a Flash Forward in the series finale of Mad About You, Paul and Jamie are seen finishing up The Talk with their daughter Mabel, who dismissively tells them, "I'm on the Pill".
  • Episode "The Birds... and... um... Bees" of The Mary Tyler Moore Show is devoted to this subject. Mary is goaded into giving her friend's daughter The Talk. When it finally comes down to it, however:
    Kid: Oh, I know all about sex. What I really want to know about is love.
  • The Partridge Family:
    • It's mentioned that when Shirley tried to explain the facts of life to Keith, he ended up correcting her.
    • Danny asks Keith to give him one in "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Partridge".
    Danny: Why do people go through all that trouble when they don't even wanna have babies?
  • In Sam & Cat, Dice asks Sam to help him with a problem, she asks how old he is and then starts with "You know Dice, it's completely normal for a boy your age to experience some things changing...", Dice interrupts her saying that's not what he wanted to talk about.
  • On Sense8 Kala's aunt offers to give her the talk about "things that happen on a girl's wedding night". Kala is in her late twenties and reassures her aunt that she has the internet, and already knows.
  • That '70s Show: Parodied in "What Is And What Should Never Be". When Kitty informs Red that she's pregnant, this leaves Red speechless, leading Eric to give his own take on "the talk", saying "You see, when a boy loves a girl...", with Hyde interjecting, "Doesn't have to love her.", and Eric answering "That's true.". Though it turns out that Kitty isn't actually pregnant and is experiencing menopause, instead.
  • In one Wizards of Waverly Place episode, Alex is going on a date, and her father, Jerry, awkwardly begins the talk, but when Alex states that her friends, and their friends, will all be there, Jerry stops, relieved, and Alex remains oblivious to what he was talking about in the first place.

    Music 
  • Song: "Daddy, Where Did I Come From?" by The Nice (two versions with distinctly different answers to the question).
  • From Homer and Jethro's version of "Nuttin' for Christmas":
    I sat Johnny on my knees
    (I'm a-gonna tan his hide)
    Well, I told him about the birds and bees
    (I'm a-gonna tan his hide)
    Soon my brain was in a whirl
    And my hair began to curl
    'Cause he told me about boys and girls
    (I'm a-gonna tan his hide)
  • "The Bees and the Birds" sung by Yogi Yorgesson.

    Webcomics 
  • See this Loserz strip.
  • Nip and Tuck: Nip at the very least had a pretty clear idea of what sex was for from an extremely young age-after Tuck and Thelma walk in on Nip & Tuck's parents getting over "Empty Nest Syndrome", the parents reminisce about when the boys were five — cut to five-year-old Nip in a onesie, asking, "Are Tuck and me gonna have a widdle bwuvver?" "No, sweetie..." "Then what was all that for?!" His knowledge is possibly justified given that he's a farm kid and has probably seen the equivalent behavior in the non-anthro animals.
  • Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal is a really huge fan of this trope. Yup.
  • Something*Positive: Here we see the aftermath of Davan's father giving him the Talk.

    Web Original 
  • Parodied in this CollegeHumor sketch about "second puberty", which discusses the pitfalls of the aging process in a fashion like those films you may have been shown in health class (or by your parents) about actual puberty.
  • This post on FML.
    "By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids."

    Western Animation 
  • In The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius, when Jimmy tells his parents that he wants a little brother, his dad tries to tell him that baby making is very complicated, to which Jimmy responds, "it's not complicated, really." He then proceeds to explain it while his dad covers his ears. This eventually becomes uncomfortable enough for him to excuse himself from the table.
  • The Cleveland Show had an episode where Cleveland tries to give the Talk to his son Junior. When he asks his son if he knows where babies come from, Junior first starts off saying that it comes from a "special hug", then suddenly launches into an extremely explicit detailed description that gets bleeped out, and ends with "—but thats only if you have one of those special swings", then giggles and walks off. Cleveland can only solemny respond "I need to live more..."
  • Doug: In the Christmas episode of the Disney series, Doug's father Phil, after spending the entire season trying to give Doug The Talk (probably because of his wife being pregnant; the baby is born in the same episode), finally works up the courage to tell him, only for Doug to cut him off and say he already knows about sex and proceeds to explain it to his dad. It cuts immediately to after the conversation with his dad walking away saying "Thanks son, that was really informative, I guess they left out a few things when I was kid," in a completely dazed voice. Either his dad did not understand something (despite having three kids), or Doug is into some creepy stuff. Even after Doug was given The Talk, his parents are completely clueless about Doug's crush on Patti, referring to her as a friend — even inviting her for a sleepover.
  • In the Goofy cartoon "Teachers Are People", Goofy eavesdrops on some of his students talking outside his classroom during recess. He immediately goes over to the diagram he has set up of birds, bees, and flowers, rips it down, and throws it in the trash.
  • Send up in the Looney Tunes short "Walky Talky Hawky" (the first Foghorn Leghorn cartoon). Henery Hawk's father is ready to give him the talk, only it's not about sex but about wanting to eat chickens. Before dad begins, Henery asks him, "Okay, Pop. Whatcha wanna know?"
  • Weird variant: Sari from Transformers: Animated explains it to Optimus Prime (no, we don't hear it, but it became so iconic that traumatizing Optimus is considered one of the funniest things she's done).

Other:

    Advertising 
  • An ad for T-Mobile 5g titled "The Talk Network" opens with a father and son fishing on a boat and the father telling the son that there's something he needs to share with him. "No, Dad," says the son, shaking his head. It turns out that what he wants to share is how he got a new iPhone with T-Mobile and a cringey video of himself playing Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again." He then explains that he can easily use phone to share it with others, though the son says that he's not sure he should. "Too late," he tells him. "Already hit send."
  • Subverted again in ad for Amazon in which a mother sits with her daughter, telling her that she's at the age now where she might be feeling certain urges to purchase things at full price. She recommends practicing "safe spending" with Amazon's every day low prices on essentials. "I'm glad we had this talk," she tells her. In another version of the ad, after the talk is other the daughter asks the mother "What is 'bang for your buck'?" and the mother is hesitant to reply.

    Anime and Manga 
  • Ghost Stories: In the English dub of Episode 9, when the kids learned that Shirotabi (The Monster of the Week) had children, Mr. Sakata had to explain it... literally.
    Mr. Sakata: "Guess this is as good as time as any. You see kids, the boy bunny has a thing called the penis, and he puts that in the girl bunny's vagina. The girl bunny then starts acting like she owns that penis."
  • Star★Twinkle Pretty Cure:
    • The show's second ending theme, "Oshiete...! Twinkle", is about the singer wanting to uncover the answers to mysteries in life. One of the lyrics dances around this trope:
      Where do humans come from?
      I heard about it from Dad and Mom, but they won't tell me!
    • A more traditional example occurs when Hikaru needs to distract her grandfather from seeing her Fairy Companions, which, due to a series of comical misunderstandings, results in her grandpa thinking she has a boyfriend. Despite her protests, he immediately pulls her aside for the talk, which ultimately ends up creating a distraction regardless.

    Comic Books 
  • In Ralf König's Beach Boys Max's sister has explained how making babies works to her daughter in a very frank manner at an extremely early age. The sister comes across as being very tired of child-rearing (she has two young kids with a third on the way) so her motivation is likely to make sure her daughter doesn't make the same mistakes she did.

    Fan Works 
  • In the Kingdom Hearts story Adjustments, Roxas mentions a couple of times that he and Xion were given the Talk by "the only qualified adult in the tower." This turns out to be Goofy, which makes perfect sense given that he's raised a teenager before.
  • The Child of Love: After Asuka gets pregnant, her guardian Misato thinks — somewhat belatedly — of having "The Talk" with her:
    Misato: Asuka... forgive me. I want to talk with you calmly... woman to woman... do you understand? I need to talk with you about... uhh... bees and flowers... ummm—
  • Parodied in Code MENT, after the "classy" moment where the blind Nunnally hears too much.
    Nunnally: Lelouch, there you are! I think Nina's really sick, I walked in on her in the student faculty room and she sounded like a dying coyote.
    Lelouch: [laughs hysterically for ten seconds] Nunnally, Nunnally, Nunnally... when a woman and a table love each other very much...
  • The Ma Fille chapter aptly titled "The Talk" is actually about the puberty talk. The sex talk is only mentioned at the end when Joe drops this line:note 
    "Look, sweetie, I was barely ready for the puberty talk. Please, wait until middle school for the sex talk."
  • In Motivations an older female Slytherin gives Harry the Talk, complete with anatomical dolls, a copy of Penthouse and an audiobook.
  • Some variant occurs (played for slight drama) in The Outside, with Shiro trying to explain to Ryuuko that Ragyo had miscarriages before having her and Satsuki, as opposed to explaining the act of sex. While she doesn't know what miscarriages are or the full extent of what Shiro's trying to explain, she gets some understanding.
  • RainbowDoubleDash's Lunaverse: An early story has Cheerilee misinterpreting a remark BonBon makes about Trixie, and combined with catching her and Raindrops in an embarrassing conversation, assumes Trixie knows nothing about It, and proceeds to give her the Talk (combined with a few anecdotes of her own exploits). At the end of it, Trixie — who grew up with several cousins in Neigh Orleans — yells that she knows about sex already. She's just massively grossed out by it. What Cheerilee walked in on was them talking about a memory spell Trixie had been using.
  • In this Pokémon Sword and Shield fancomic, Hop asks various male Gym Leaders and Leon where babies come from. Responses vary: Gordie gets immediately flustered, Kabu explains it in a logical manner, Milo claims they're delivered by Pelippers, Piers derides him for being a greenhorn in regards to sex, Leon dodges the question by claiming he doesn't know everything, and Raihan...well, let's just say his explanation leads to Leon whacking him with Charizard.
  • Both the awkward and the ironic version are referenced in the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation: Mo Dao Zu Shi fic "take my hand (make me run)" back to back. When Qiren gave Wangji the talk, both ended up mortified and unable to speak to each other for a month. By contrast, when Mingjue tried giving Huaisang the talk, Huaisang corrected him.

    Films — Animation 
  • Finding Dory - Dory gets confused and forgets what she's talking about during a conversation about parents. When she asks what the topic was and is told "mommies and daddies!" she assumes that she was about to give a group of children the talk, and awkwardly begins to do so before being quickly cut off.
  • Shrek the Third, Puss tries to give Shrek the talk after finding out that Fiona is pregnant.
    Shrek: I can't believe I'm gonna be a father! How did this happen?
    Puss: Allow me to explain. You see, when a man has certain feelings for a woman, a powerful urge sweeps over him.
    Shrek: I know how it happened. I just can't believe it.
    Donkeynote : (to Puss) How does it happen?
  • In Turning Red, Ming mistakenly thinks that Mei had her first period and awkwardly discusses puberty with her.

    Films — Live Action 
  • In The Cat in the Hat, when Sally asks the Cat where he came from, he replies "Hmm, how do I put this... when a mommy cat and a daddy cat love each other very much, they decide that-"
  • Discussed by Ian and Chris in Twice Round the Daffodils:
    Ian: For your sake, Chris, stop behaving as if you were brought up by Victorian grandparents who wouldn't even tell you about the gooseberry bush.
    Chris: I know about the facts of life. They told us at the orphanage.

    Literature 
  • Played for Drama in We Can't Rewind. The parents find themselves having to explain to their nine-year-old children what the purpose of the adult "game" those kids were playing is, what consequence may result from it, and the mother's tragic story of how she was molested and impregnated when she was eleven. The kids are duly horrified.
  • You Have a Match: Abby's parents explained sex to her when she was in third grade, during the scene in Titanic (1997) with the fogged-up windows.

    Live-Action TV 
  • Different Strokes. Mr. Drummond needs to give a version of this to Arnold after the kids come home from a camping trip and catch him and his girlfriend together. As it turns out, he's already given him the "Where babies come from" talk, but as he tries to explain that adults sometimes need to spend private time together, Arnold interrupts to ask, "You mean getting it on", thus revealing that he's fully aware of what grown-ups do, he's just thrown for a loop because he never thought of his father like that.
  • Impractical Jokers:
    • In one punishment, Q had to give a lecture about the birds and the bees to a class full of students ...only to find out that he was lied to, and he instead has to give the lecture to his parents.
    • In another episode, Q is an office worker who has to give the talk to everyone who comes in, each time starting with "When a man loves a woman..." and mentioning that the woman has a "socket".
  • In "No Compass" from Yellowjackets, Shauna tells her best friend Jackie that she's pregnant. Jackie wants to know just how this happened.
    Shauna: Well, when a man and a woman...
  • In a truly bizarre example from the 1995 The Outer Limits, a young man who has never met another human being is given The Talk by a spacecraft's AI. With accompanying wire-frame graphics, and no more emotion or nuance than an engineering manual.

    Professional Wrestling 

    Video Games 
  • I Was a Teenage Exocolonist: One time while helping their dad out with the animals, Sol sees him untangling two bristleslugs from "wrestling" each other. He refuses to go into the details on what they were doing, but 10 minutes later, they entangle themselves again.
    Geranium: The heart wants what it wants, I guess.

    Webcomics 
  • The young teenager Abby of Dangerously Chloe is just starting to notice boys, and her parents aren't around, so Chloe and Pandora resolve to give her The Talk. Which might be good if they weren't both succubi. Fortunately, they're not excessively evil as sex demons go, but unfortunately, they don't understand mortals very well either. Fortunately, Abby may be just cynical enough about them to survive the experience without permanent mental damage. Unfortunately, she was a little too naive...
  • The Dorkly Originals comic "What Disney won't admit about Goofy and Max" starts out with Max questioning if Goofy is the right person to talk to about sex, which prompts Goofy to drop his normal silliness for a moment to talk about his sexual desires. Also voiced by ProZD.
    Goofy: Your dad doesn't just have sex, Maxie. Your dad fucks.
  • Flork of Cows has this comic, where Hampton tries to teach Captain Rich where babies come from, but Captain Rich refuses to believe that the poor come form the same place that he does.
  • In Knights of Buena Vista, Adriana has her Player Character give this talk to Mary's character. The Game Master Walter lets Adriana only have to roleplay the first part. Mary has fun with her character's reaction, playing The Ingenue to the point of insisting her fiancé "would never do such filthy things to me!".
  • The Non-Adventures of Wonderella: When Penumbra asks Wonderella to take over teaching her class at the Wizarding School for a day, the teenage students ask her about dating and barhopping instead. These are Wonderella's favorite subjects.
    Wonderella: Four inches above the knee is the optimal skirt length for scoring free drinks...
  • The Paradox Space story Birds and Bees starts with a young Jade asking her grandpa how babies are made. Due to this being a Homestuck spin-off, the actual process is completely non-sexual.
    "When two people love each other very much, the one with the superior understanding of ectobiological genetic manipulation and transuniversal mechanics of delivery inputs all the necessary coordinates for a series of highly complex paradox cloning..."
  • Subverted in The Perry Bible Fellowship strip "The Talk", where a father decides to tell his daughter about "the birds & the bees". Then the next panel reveals that the setting is After the End, and he's literally explaining what birds and bees were before the apocalypse.
  • Sandra and Woo gives us four unique ways of dealing with teenage pregnancy.
    Ye Thuza: [to Cloud] If you get Sandra pregnant before she's finished high school, I'll separate your head from your body.
  • Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal: Inverted in "A Talk", where the sex talk is about the kid telling the mother she should start having more sex again and communicating better with her mate even though having a child has driven them the other way. Then the mother doesn't even remember how sex works any more and has to be explained that too. (The votey panel reveals that the father also needs it explained to him.)
  • In the Australian cartoon website Sev Trek, a Lord of the Rings parody strip has Saruman giving the line, "Do you know how the orcs came to be?" The winning punchline was the orc replying, "Oh no, not the Talk!"
  • Sticky Dilly Buns has a weird sort-of-variant Talk scene. Ruby is a sensible young woman who knows perfectly well where babies come from, but she’s also a nervous virgin who gets frantically tense when she thinks that her boyfriend is suggesting sex. She ends up getting a lot of reassuring explanations from her friends at a yaoi fan club meeting, including a detailed demonstration of oral sex techniques from Camp Gay Dillon — on a popsicle, one hastens to add.
  • Tripping Over You: Discussed when Milo's father drops in the morning after Milo and Liam's First Time — he jokes about improvising some kind of lecture, but spares them both the experience.
    "Then again, the lecture I had planned revolved mostly around the importance of contraception— so maybe we should skip it."

    Web Original 
  • Anna Akana claims via a flashback in "3 Things I Wish I Knew Before Having Sex" that her momnote 's version of The Talk didn't prove very informative.
    "Anak, let's talk about the sex. I know it's very scary, and you probably have a lot of confusing feelings and questions about what to do, and how it works. I just want you to know, if you have sex before you are married, I will break your legs. (beat) Okay, love you baby, buh-bye."
  • The Hard Times: "Punk Dad's Birds and the Bees Talk Graphically Describes all Three Sex Positions" The dad in question gives way too much detail for his seven-year-old son to handle or understand, and most of his sex advice is really an allegory for guitar playing.
  • In Nomad of Nowhere demonstrates to kids his animating magic on a pebble:
    Dolores: He makes.. baby rocks?
    Eugene: My Pappy's Birds-and-Bees talk didn't cover this at all.

    Western Animation 
  • Parodied in Ben 10: Ultimate Alien when Kevin gives 10 year old Ben the "talk".
    Young Ben: Where do baby Alien Xs come from?
    Kevin: When two constelations love each other very much...
    Gwen: Kevin!
  • This is sometimes used as a gag in Bluey whenever one of the kids innocently asks where babies come from, with Bandit being reluctant to answer.
    • In "The Dump", Bandit claims that he knows everything, prompting Bluey to ask him where she was before she was born. Bandit quickly dodges the question and requests Bluey to ask a different one.
    • In "Daddy Putdown", Bingo asks Bandit how the baby gets inside the mother's belly. The music stops, and Bandit quickly says, "Oh, there you go," while letting go of the hand holding the swing Bingo is on that he has twisted so many times, promptly putting Bingo on a spin.note 
  • In Daria, after the infamous Love Triangle between Daria, Tom and Jane comes to a head with Daria and Tom kissing, she turns to her mother for advice. Helen starts to go into The Talk, but Daria cuts her off, saying that kissing her best friend's boyfriend is the more pressing issue of the moment.
  • In Disenchantment's first episode, Bean's stepmother Oona tries this right before Bean is set to have an Arranged Marriage. It's complicated by the fact that Oona has Bizarre Alien Biology.
    Oona: I mention because it was difficult for me with the tentacles.
    Bean: I don't have tentacles.
    Oona: Your husband will have tentacles.
    Bean: Are you trying to say "testicles?"
    Oona: I don't know. Just—leave your eggs on the nightstand and get out of there.
    • Humorously Subverted in the season one finale:
    Dagmar: As you reach maturity, you will notice many more changes.
    Bean: (motions to chest) Duh, I already know.
    Dagmar: This isn't a sex talk.
    Bean: Oh. What kind of talk is it?
  • In the Dr. Zitbag's Transylvania Pet Shop episode "Son of Zitbag", Dr. Sidney Zitbag turns out to not know where babies come from in spite of being a grown man (he apparently played hooky the day they went over the subject in mad scientist college). He consults Zombunny and his wife Mrs. Zombunny on where babies come from, who do nothing but stand there while they continue producing more children out of the blue.
  • The Futurama episode "The Bots and the Bees" reveals that Bender never had this talk, leaving him utterly confused when a drink dispenser he slept with has his kid.
  • In one episode of Kaeloo, Mr. Cat tells Stumpy that babies are made by not breathing for two days. Kaeloo attempts to give Stumpy the Talk, but he interrupts her and tries holding his nose to stop breathing.
  • On Rocko's Modern Life, Heffer was (quite literally) Raised by Wolves. As such, a Rite of Passage he is expected to go through is to bring home an elk for dinner, even though he's not a wolf. When his father attempts to explain this, Heffer attempts to cut him off, explaining that he already knows about "the birds and the bees." Annoyed, George asks his wife Virginia to step in and explain. (It probably didn't help that George opened up the conversation about this Rite of Passage in the same way one would open up a conversation about puberty.)
  • On Rugrats Angelica asks her parents where babies come from, one night out of the blue, in the middle of dinner. Drew and Charlotte excuse themselves to the kitchen, saying they need to go check on the beets, and both are all freaked out. They calm themselves down, reminding themselves that they knew this day would eventually come, and that they agreed to tell her the truth. They start a conversation about "a mommy, a daddy, and an egg," but chicken out and tell her they come from stork eggs instead of people eggs.
  • On Sid the Science Kid, "Where Did I Come From?" subverts this. Sid asks this question of his parents, which would lead the viewer to expect this. Instead, they tell him to walk through a wall of his home. When he does, he meets the real-life staff of the show who created him.
  • In the Star vs. the Forces of Evil episode "Total Eclipsa of the Moon", after Moon learns that Eclipsa's daughter inherited a tail from her father, she asks, "But how is that possible?" Eclipsa starts to reply, "Well, when a queen and a monster love each other very much..." before being cut off by Moon.
  • Steven Universe:
    • Parodied in a short aptly titled "How Are Gems Made?". Amethyst starts off acting like it'll be this trope, but quickly drops the façade, since Gems are Humanoid Aliens who don't reproduce sexually.
      Amethyst: Well, when a mommy Gem and a daddy Gem love each other very much, PSYCHE!
    • In "Log Date 7 15 2", Peridot asks Steven about the two characters making out in the video they are watching (Peridot thought they were trying to fuse together--literally). Steven awkwardly tries to pass on what his dad told him, but Peridot had already lost interest.
      Steven: My dad told me that in certain stages in your life...
  • Storks: Despite being set in a universe where Delivery Storks exist, it's still an awkward question when Nate asks his parents where they got him. This is because the storks stopped delivering babies 18 years ago so he was made the old-fashioned way, which makes his parents dance around the question.
  • Tigtone has a hilarious and completely out of nowhere reversal in the episode "Tigtone and the Beautiful War."
    Helpy: Tigtone, where does death come from?
    Tigtone: Well Helpy, When two creatures hate each other very much...

Alternative Title(s): The Birds And The Bees

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Michelle Khare

From "Arctic Escape" E4.

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