Funny / Destiny 2

"This is probably why they don't like him leaving the Tower."

It's a world without Light, but not a world without laughter.

For funny moments from the first game, go here.

Teasers and Trailers

• "Last Call", the teaser for Destiny 2 is nothing but pure Bathos as our favorite Exo Hunter, Cayde-6, is at a bar as he recounts how he kicked some Cabal ass when they breached the Vanguard war room... while they're still in the middle of fighting off a full-scale invasion.
  Zavala: Cayde! Any day now!
  Cayde: Jeez, a guy has one drink. Coming.
  • The teaser very casually drops a pretty perspective changing revelation: Exo eat food. In game lore shows they even get hungry.
  • And Cayde's telling this story to none other than the viewer, right? Nah. He's talking to a cleaning Frame.
    Cayde-6: "Guess you had t' be there."
  • The room they're in got shot to pieces and the robot is still cleaning...
  • Even funnier when it's revealed after you've done Leviathan Raid that one of the cleaning robot is Calus's emissary, so it's basically Cabal's emperor watching his betrayer causing ruckus across the system... and Cayde-6 is bragging to him.
• "Rally the Troops" trailer has Cayde-6 stumbling his way through a Rousing Speech that is failing to inspire any of his Guardians, made even funnier when juxtaposed against Zavala's speech. However, Cayde manages to salvage it by saying the one thing that would inspire all Guardians in and out of universe.
  Cayde-6: ...also THERE WILL BE A TON OF LOOT! (Everyone cheers)
  • Cayde-6 revealing the name of the Cabal leader.
  Zavala: Today we know our enemy. His name is...
  Cayde-6: Gary! Or...Gil. Glen. Is it...I don't know. It's something with a "G"!
  Zavala: ...Ghaul!
  • Another reason that Cayde wants the Cabal gone: the Cabal broke his stuff.
  Cayde-6: So...everything is gone. Your stuff, my stuff, but most importantly, MY STUFF.
  • While in the middle of his...unorthodox speech, Cayde also makes it clear what's at stake.
  Cayde-6: ...Which means if I don't see you out there! *unsheathes his knife* I'll kill you myself. (Cut to a Titan in Oh, Crap! Mode)
  • The simple fact that Cayde is essentially a surrogate for the player base, being more concerned about losing his gear from the last game, giving the Big Bad a mundane nickname, and selling people on the war with the promise of more loot.
  • Cayde now sells maps to his stash boxes on various planets that contain loot and items. The most world-shattering super-secret can't-live-without-it item? Dried celery.
• A Bungie livestream revealed in the Homecoming mission that yes, the cleaning frame just outside of the Speaker's area is still sweeping even in the middle of the Red Fleet invasion, but this time he's cleaning up the dead Cabal surrounding him.
  • Before the gameplay, you have the opening cinematic for the mission, and for all its seriousness, Cayde still can make a joke or two.
    Cayde-6: Ikora, if you tell me this is a practical joke... well, it kills me to say it, but I'd be really impressed.
    Ikora: Impressing you, Cayde, is the easiest thing I'll do all day
    Zavala: Let's get serious, people.
    Cayde-6: Zavala, this is my serious face. (looks on in glee) Can't you tell?
    • Note that as an mechanical Exo, Cayde doesn't really have facial expressions.
• As terrifying as Ghaul's speech is as he drains your Light, there's something amusingly dismissive about how he just taps you off his ship. He doesn't throw you or punt you. He just lightly taps you with his foot, because you're not worth any more effort.
• The trailer for the Coldheart Trace Rifle pre-order bonus is set to, what else, but Ice Ice Baby. Just the sight of Guardians doing a dance number, the contrast of the lyrics going "cold, cooold" with Stuff Blowing Up, and even a shot of the Cabal dancing is just so ridiculous, you forget the entire premise of the game.
  • The best part is this actually happened in-game lore, the cabal were so confused by us dancing they kept communicating with each other more and more trying to figure out what was going on, letting us hack into their communications network. we won the war through a massive dance-off.
• The Live-Action Trailer:
  • First off, it's starts with narration from Cayde-6, so you know it's going to be funny.
  • The Dominus of the Red Legion, annihilator of suns, razer of a thousand worlds, is referred to by Cayde as a "psycho rhino named Ghaul".
    • At least he got his name right this time.
  • A list of things gone, mostly modern creature comforts ("skinny no-foam vanilla latte[s]", "binge-watching", "carbs" and "love songs"), each one exploding as Cayde lists it.
    • "The Grand Canyon? Ruined!" As you see a relatively small explosion that has no lasting effect on the Canyon wall.
      "Okay, that didn't change much, BUT..."
    • The list continues with surprise parties, ketchup and mustard, late-night texts, Taco Tuesdays, culminating in...
      Cayde: "Puppies are..." [cut to Cayde mimicking an explosion]
      Titan: [sounding genuinely horrified] "Not the puppies..."
      Cayde: "I know, right?! Who does that?! I mean, I'm more of a cat guy, but still..."
    • Even better? The late-night text was from Gary^note Ghaul.
    • Wanna up the ante? The list changes depending on country! (E.G. UK Version: Cup of tea, morning fry-ups, comfy slippers, red sauce and mustard, and Mum's Sunday Roast.)
    • "It's time to bring out the big guns!"
      Beat
      Cayde: "It's not a metaphor, guys. Go grab some big guns!"
    • And as he finishes up his Rousing Speech to these three newbies...
      Cayde: Cause if we're going down, we're going down fighting! Do it for the Tower, and the ramen shops! Do it for the LOOT they've taken from us! But most importantly, DO IT-
      Titan: FOR THE PUPPIES!!! [Visor slams closed as he charges headlong into the fight ]
      Cayde: Uh... follow that guy.
  • Finally, after a montage of the three Guardians kicking Red Legion butt, it cuts back to Cayde and:
    Cayde: I am so proud...of myself right now.
• Playstation Japan throws their hat into the ring with their live-action trailer. Specifically, a massive dance party!
• The "This Week At Bungie" article for February 2020 discusses the Empyrean Foundation mechanic; the header image is a Destiny themed version of the "STONKS" meme.

Day One Campaign/The Red War

• Witty flavor texts are back in full force:
  Does Not Compute: The engineers aren't ready for us.
  Retrofuturist: They were so optimistic about us.
  Main Ingredient: Now stir the sauce...
  Bad News: Sit Down. We need to talk.
  Hawthorne's Field-Forged Shotgun: "What am I supposed to put here? 'It's a gun. Kill bad guys with it.'"
  Bandersnatcher (Hunter Chest Armor): "When have you ever known Hunters to do as they were told?"
  Lucky Pants: "What? No, I didn't illegally modify the holster. These are just really lucky pants!" - Cayde-6^note Exotic perk: "Illegally Modified Holster"
  Hardcase Helm: "No hard feelings?" - Unknown Party / "What are feelings?" - Unknown Titan
  Exodus Down Mask: "I used some of my own code to program this armor! But if you die, it's your fault. Not mine." - Failsafe
  Disrespectful Stare: Don't you look at me that way!
  Fatum Praevaricator: Great galactic powers journey to Earth to find their destiny (which is disintegration by Nova Bomb).
  Bond of the Raven Shard: "The ravens come for our lost souls." "No, you Exo prat-they've come because you're shiny."
  Refugee Vest: None of your books ever said anything about this.
  Sealed Ahamkara Grasps: Plating the Ahamkara bones in silver helps to quiet the auditory hallucinations… o bearer mine.
  Shepherd's Watch: Nobody talks about the day the Shepherd's staff became the Shepherd's rifle.
  Sweet Business: ...I love my job.
  Mechanik 1.1: "Get out of here, S.T.A.L.K.E.R." - Traditional farewell in the Appalachian Dead Zone.
  War Mantis legs/cloak: The more we danced, the more the Cabal battlenet lit up with requests for intelligence.../...And that's how we mapped the entire Cabal warnet by shredding the dance floor.
  Steel Sybil Z-14: "Everything I touch falls to pieces! I see fragments on the floor!" "Well, isn't that a good thing? You know, if you're a sword?"
  Prometheus Lens: "Cryptarchs made a crystal that starts fires? Get me one. I don't care how. Go!" - Cayde-6
  Jade Rabbit: "What kind of harebrained scheme have you got in mind this time?'''
• Anytime someone gets killed by Cabal drop pod. Especially if they're driving vehicle.
• Sparrow Surfing still works!
• Among those claimed by Red Legion's invasion is, most unforgivably, the beloved Purple Ball◊.
  • Fear not; the Purple Ball returns in all its glory once the Tower has been reclaimed.
• If you thought Shaxx was already overly excitable in Destiny 1, you'll find him even more so in here.
  Lord Shaxx: (Shutting down opponent using Super) "Deee-lightful!"
  Lord Shaxx: (Ditto) "YEAAAAAAHHH!!!!!"
  • This carries over into his ambient vendor comments too.
  Shaxx: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T CONCENTRATE WHILE I'M YELLING? RELAX!
  • In fact Shaxx on the Farm moves from hammy to flat out deranged. When the Traveler has been captured and maybe only one Guardian has gotten their light back to be able to respawn from death:
  'Shaxx: "Shard this, Shard that. WHAT ABOUT THE CRUCIBLE?"
  • For Warlocks who do really well in the Crucible, Shaxx may make a confession.
  Shaxx: Who said Warlocks were better with books than with guns? ...Okay, it was me. But I was lying. Rage is an excellent motivator!
  • Shaxx also has special commentary for unusual events and rare medals:
  (upon going into overtime and then being tied at the end, resulting in no winner): I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO TO BE ANGRY AT!
  (ditto): What? Where's my catharsis? Boo! Boooooooo!
  (ditto): That can't be right. Really?
  (getting the "Leave None Standing" medal): Was that all of them? THAT WAS ALL OF THEM!!!
  (rapidly killing the enemy team in close quarters): Stop it! You're SCARING THEM!
  • If you happen to get a Kill Streak of 50, then you'll be awarded with a special medal; a blank frame with "[Insert Medal Here]" written below it. Shaxx will then deflate and sheepishly admit that he doesn't have a medal for such an occasion. A brief pause later, and you get the medal "I Made This for You". The medal in question is a cruely-scribbled smiley face with sunshine coming off of it. This, combined with the text "Shaxx has made something special for <player's name>" that gets broadcasted to everyone basically states that Shaxx had to hastily draw a new medal on the fly. His embarrassed and halting expression of pride in the player only completes it.
  Shaxx: I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT— d-uhh, oh, oh... *whispering* I don't have a medal for this! Hang on! *Beat* I'm so proud of you, Guardian! And I want... *awkwardly* you to ha-have this...
  • During Iron Banner, Saladin replaces Shaxx as the announcer, and he also has some hilarious lines thanks to his more serious and deadpan delivery:
  (achieving the "We Ran Out of Medals" medal): DIE! DIE! DIE! (cough) Sorry. I've been watching too many Iron Banner matches. What time is it? Shaxx. SHAXX!! Are you there? Can you get me a water? Stop yelling, it's just a question! I'M NOT OLD!
  (getting Power Weapon ammo) In the Dark Age, we called this...fun.
  (opposing team has a big lead) This isn't over until Shaxx sings, and he's very shy.
  (victory) Do you like it better when Lord Shaxx oversees these matches? So do I. A busy Shaxx is a quiet Shaxx.^note Which, if you've actually played the game, you know is completely false. Even a dead Shaxx probably wouldn't be a quiet Shaxx.
• "The Inverted Spire" Strike:
  • The Cabal dig sites turn out to be a myriad of skyscraper-sized drills. Your Ghost note how... excessive this is.
  Ghost: "Even Cabal scientists are big lumbering jerks."
  • Your Ghost is understandibly reluctant to charge into a Cabal drilling site... while the drill is still running.
  Ghost: "Right through those pointy drill bits? eheheheh! Good!"
  Ghost: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-HAAGHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAA"
  Ghost: (alternatively) "This is fine, this is fine, this is fine, THIS IS JUST FINE'!"
• Not one minute in the first opening of The Farm during beta test did the Guardians starts climbing anything they can climb, including power lines suspending about 4-5 stories high above the soccer field and then dance on it.
• During a Taken-related adventure in the European Dead Zone, there's this exchange:
  Ikora: Severing their bond must cause a backlash to the host. *Beat* Interesting.
  Cayde: Am I the only one who has no idea what any of you are talking about?
  Ikora: Yes.
  • And also this:
  Cayde: Serves 'em right for messing with things they don't understand.
  Ikora: Which is your area of expertise, after all.
• During a cutscene in "Looped," the player finally catches up to Cayde at the core of Nessus. Over the course of that particular section of the mission, your Ghost keeps asking Cayde what the hell happened. At the end, Cayde is both fed up with Ghost demanding to know why he got caught and the Guardian's Heroic Mime status. However, Ghost pushes both of those buttons, which gives this lovely line from him:
  Cayde: Oh my cotton socks! Did you not hear what I just said?! *fades away*
  • This is then followed up by Ghost commenting "This is probably why they don't like him leaving the Tower." To which the Guardian can only shrug and nod in agreement.
  • When Cayde shouts at the player to say something they motion like they're about to before Ghost cuts them off. The Guardian's response is to incredulously look at Ghost as if to say "Dude, what the fuck?"
  • When the The Guardian first meets Cayde 6 there’s a Call-Back to the first game’s “I don’t have time to explain why I don’t have time to explain“ line.
  Cayde: I don't have time to explain what I don't have time to understand!
• The mission for unlocking Patrol missions. The premise is simply that Cayde-6 wants to slack off from it and dumps the job on Devrim Kay. When you get around to doing so with Devrim, Hawthorne drops by, whom Dev invites to accompany him after explaining. Hawthorne simply decides to bail. Then Zavala hops on the channel and decides to watch. The kicker is how Zavala takes more enjoyment out of this, briefly hijacking Dev's role as Mission Control at the end, and remark about how he "loves infrastructure".
• The lore behind the Graviton Lance Exotic follows a conversation between a Guardian who found it and their friend who's in disbelief that the gun fires micro black holes. The friend asks if the Guardian is gonna show everyone, to which they say yes... in the Crucible
  "Oh, no."
  "Oh, yes."
• When the Vanguard is debating how to get into the city without Ghaul knowing Hawthorne reveals herself to have sneaked in and has her own ideas.
  Hawthorne: You know... the City wall is a lot like this barn. Plenty of places to slip in unseen. So long as you know how.
  Cayde: *As she hops down* You sure you're not one of my Hunters?
  Hawthorne: Hah. Not really into capes.
  Cayde: Clearly. Nice poncho.
  • He then calls her "Poncho" for the rest of the main story.
• Cayde getting jealous of the player being given a tank on their way to the Almighty.
  Amanda: Say hello to the Drake!
  Ghost: You got us a TANK?!
  Cayde: You got them a TANK? How come I never got a tank?
  Amanda: You know you'd just break it.
  • His jealousy only continues as Holliday makes it clear she's got more than enough to keep resupplying us.
    Cayde: Oh so I get nothing, and they get as many as they want. I see how it is.
    • He's so jealous, in fact, that he makes fun of you when you have to open a bridge.
    Cayde: Oh, your super-tank can't fly? Ooh.
  • When complaining to Holliday gets him nowhere he makes it Zavala's problem and starts bugging him for one instead. Zavala tries to flatter Cayde into submission. It doesn't work.
    Cayde: So, if it wasn't to give me a tank—why did you send our favorite Guardian to find me?
    Zavala: Your...high-risk, high-reward combat maneuvers can be effective...and inspirational.
    Cayde: Well yeah, but with a tank they could be like a million times MORE inspirational!
  • Which led to this at the end of the mission:
    Zavala: Good work, Guardian. And Cayde...after all this is over, I'll talk to Holliday about your tank.
    Cayde: Aw...I missed you too, buddy.
• When retaking the City, how do our now-powerless allies overtake a Cabal Centurion? By distracting it with a chicken! And by the time we see it, they've done it six times already. And Cayde named the chicken "Colonel"!
  • When the aforementioned Centurion is distracted by the chicken, he actually stops and stares at it for a moment, with a curious expression like "Huh, I wonder what this thing tastes like?" on his face.
  • The best part of this is when we first see Cayde holding the chicken during the Vanguard's makeshift strategy meeting. Ikora is trying to explain the risks involved with simply destroying the Almighty and has to pause for a second when she looks over at Cayde. After all this time, he still manages to find ways to confuse her, and even the subtitles have an ellipsis.
• During the "Deathless" adventure on Titan, Ghost comments on how annoying it is to fight a Hive Knight who just keeps coming back from death.
  Ghost: This is irritating. This must be how the Cabal feel about us!
• A scannable terminal in the Arcology on Titan has Ghost reading off a log about the crop yields, which involve Pomefigs, Kiwicumbers, and...
  Ghost: ...pineapples. Pine... Apples? What a weird idea for a fruit.
• During one mission in the EDZ, the player is recruited by Asher Mir and Failsafe to research the Taken.... with Failsafe along for computational capacity and the Young Wolf being brought in for brute force. Even if they're a Warlock. Asher is also quick to point out that his experiments involving the Taken are in no way suspicious at all.
  • The "research" that Asher wants you to conduct? Punching Taken in the face. You can only gather the requisite 'data' with melee kills. Ten of them, specifically.
  • Failsafe talking about how the Taken will sweep across the entire region "like a scourge" in the same cheerful tone of voice she uses elsewhere. Then her more acerbic side pipes in, commenting in a sing-song voice that "They're gonna get Taaaa-keeeen!"
• In his spare time, Cayde-6... reads sappy romance novels.◊
  • Cayde's Odds and Ends in general are hilarious random objects;
    Ascendant Artichoke: Apparently Cayde thought it necessary to expose this extremely rare vegetable to a Hive summoning ritual.
    Roryx Test: Some see a fun, engaging challenge. I only see pain.
    Spinfoil Hat: I never got the sense that Cayde was paranoid, but who knows what kind of rays are polluting the system these days.
• The lore entry for the Dinas Emrys Sparrow◊ is pure gold. From Cayde commenting that Executor Hideo has "his knickers real tight today," Dead Orbit's representative(s) laughing their asses off, to Ikora's sass ("Obviously, Gris has not had contact with an Ahamkara... If she did, she'd win SRL more often."), to Cayde's whistle at the burn, to the crowner:
  Commander Zavala: Let the record show: The Consensus' official stance on the Dinas Emrys dragon symbol is: cool.
• In the "Leviathan" raid, when you reach Emperor Calus, how do you start the fight with him? Shoot his wine cup out of his hand. He then starts trying to kill the fireteam.
  • A part of the raid involves what's basically your entire fireteam barging into Cabals in a bath and shooting them up.
  • Even better, another way to start the fight is to simply stand right next to him, yielding the same results.
    • With the addition of the "selfie" emote, people will try to take screenshots with him, meaning that if you're not fast enough you can begin the fight standing next to Calus and stuck in a pose.
  • It makes sense, and is even funnier, once you learn what Royal Wine is. It's a vinter that can only be produced by destroying planets. No wonder he got mad when you blasted it, you just wasted god-knows-how-much time by blowing up the chalice!.
    • It gets funnier when you realize that he's a massive hypocrite about it because the throne room and the corridor before it is already covered in the stuff. It's the hard purple stuff you've been walking on. "Waste not, want not" apparently doesn't apply to him... But only if he's the only violating it.
    • 1 On close examination, the cup doesn't even have anything in it. And why would it, since that's not even the real Calus "drinking" from it?
• The Mythos Hack 4.1 helmet describes an in-universe play called "Tyranus Rex," about a king who was revived by science and eventually ate his creator Hamalco. In other words, it's Jurassic Park reimagined as Shakespearean tragedy. Just because.
• Finding the Dead Orbit scannable in the new Tower has Ghost comment on a bunch of forum posts from the Dead Orbit network. He comments that it's about what you'd expect: a bunch of dark-themed whiners spouting endless nihilism.
• In a hilarious bit of Developer's Foresight one of the very first adventures the players unlock can change dialogue if the right conditions are met. In the adventure to get the Fallen and the Red Legion to fight each other instead of the Guardians and Farm's militia Ghost forges a message in Fallen speak and transmits it over a Cabal communication cipher that Devrim swiped. If you beat the game first the message he forges says that when the Guardians retook the city Ghaul ran away crying. Like a big baby.
• One of Xur's ambient dialogue options mentions him trying to go to the old Tower, but "it was empty." Looks like the Guardians forgot to send him the new address....
• One of the Nessus scannables reveals that the Vex are emitting radio waves. Specifically:
  Ghost: "Even broken Vex gates are pretty interesting. This one is emitting radio waves. I can almost... okay. Somehow the Vex are listening to classic rock from the Golden Age. They're death robots with good taste in music."
  • Another Vex scannable is for a relatively small Vex gate, which Ghost says has the signatures of hundreds of Hydras. Since the gate is barely big enough to accommodate a Ghost, let alone a Hydra, he'll comment on the hilarious mental image of hundreds of tiny Hydras zipping around.
• Approaching certain public events on Nessus where the Vex are clearly doing something will result in this exchange.
  Ghost: The Vex are building something!
  Failsafe: Calculating probability! (very long pause) Yes! They are!
  Ghost: (angry grumbling)
  • And when you do enough of these events, this exchange may occur instead:
  Failsafe: Another Vex construction project! You could say their persistence is... inspiring! ^note The Vex are building a Spire
  Ghost: Did she—Did they program puns into—You know what? Nevermind.

  • Even better is Devrim's quote for the Cabal Excavation event once you've done enough in the EDZ:
  Devrim: Guardian, you know the drill.
• One Cabal public event involves the Red Legion carrying out intelligence mission with a gigantic Injector Rig. No one seems to know what the huge machine that spew flame at anyone who gets close had to do with finding intel.
• The lore entry for Cayde's Lucky Pants is him doing another search query... for ways to beat Lord Shaxx at the Crucible.
  ?> cheat crucible
  CRUCIBLE PARTICIPANTS ARE SUBJECT TO A STRICT CODE OF CONDUCT. CHEATERS WILL BE BANNED.
  ?> what about cheating like just a little
  SORRY, I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND "what about cheating like just a little".
  ?> ok what counts as cheating
  TO ACT DISHONESTLY OR UNFAIRLY IN ORDER TO GAIN AN ADVANTAGE.
  ?> is luck cheating
  “LUCK” AND “CHEATING” ARE NOT EQUIVALENT.
  ?> are my pants lucky
  PROBABLY NOT.
  ?> wrooooooong theyre super lucky
  • Evidently not lucky enough, as the only person recorded to have beaten Shaxx in the Crucible is (still) Ikora.
• The lore tab for the ACD/0 Feedback Fence reveals two things: One, AC/DC is considered pre-classical music. Two, the Exo engineer that made them is certainly not winking. It is a malfunction.
• The lore entry◊ for Zavala's Authority contains Zavala's barely-contained hatred for machine minds, Cayde-6 understandably grousing that technically he's a machine mind and yet Zavala's okay with him, which the Titan Vanguard corrects in that he never said he was okay with him. The best part is that the way Cayde phrases his response sounds like he's not so much offended at being the butt of Zavala's joke as he is shocked that Zavala made a joke at all:
  C6: IKORA! ZAVALA MADE A JOKE! You're not Ikora. Where's Ikora? IKORA!
• The "Exodus Crash" Strike's dialogue is a goldmine of lighthearted moments despite the stakes at risk, given Zavala, Cayde-6 and Failsafe are your Mission Control. Zavala insists on calling the endeavour "Operation Piccolo", much to Ghost's bemusement.
  Ghost: Piccolo? Really?
  Cayde: [Whispering] We don't have to call it that. We'll give it a better name. Later.
  • After Cayde manages to hack his way back into Failsafe and your Guardian's communication, the AI is less than thrilled and snarks back and forth at both Cayde and Ghost with her sweet persona.
  Failsafe: Cayde unit? Ghost? Kindly delete yourselves.
  • By the time you reach the Exodus Black's Aft, Failsafe thanks you and your Ghost for trying to help her out, noting that the damage probably feels worse that it actually is. Ghost awkwardly reassures her the situation is under control, before reminding you to hurry since Failsafe is practically melting.
  • Alternatively, reaching the Aft has Failsafe get fed up with Cayde, telling him to keep quiet in mechanical lifeform terms.
  Failsafe: Cayde unit, shut your modulator.
  Cayde: No, you do that!
  • After you defeat Thaviks, Zavala tries to hail you after being cut off earlier by Failsafe (as Fireteam Piccolo, no less), but since he gets no response, he decide to start a rescue mission himself with the name "Operation Oboe", with all the seriousness that entails.
  Ghost: Shouldn't we tell him we're fine?
  Cayde-6: Nah, it's better this way.
  • An alternate ending dialogue has Failsafe ask about any remnants of the crew...which would be a tear jerker if not for getting hijacked by how dejected both her and Cayde sound over different things.
  Failsafe: [...]Have you found any artifacts of the crew? Any burial sites?
  Ghost: Nothing but a Fallen fortress built out of your old colony ship. I'm sorry
  Failsafe: That's okay...I guess
  Cayde: No Golden Age Rayguns?
  Ghost: No.
  Cayde: Well that's okay I guess.
  • The normal way to finish this strike is to defeat Thaviks, which can take up to 10 minutes due to his high health and constant teleporting away in-between phases....or you can simply shoot him while he's climbing on the walls at any point in the fight,making him fall into the Bottomless Pit below.
• During the Nessus adventure "Deep Conversation", Failsafe tells your Ghost that the Vex think that he's lacking a holistic view of the universe, so they offer to "help him" (which inevitably means attempting to kill the Player Character), to which Ghost immediately declines.
• One Titan mission has you running an important MacGuffin across a set of platforms being overrun by the Hive, and no, you can't summon your Sparrow here, nor would you even have it if you'd been playing the game normally until this point. If this were Halo you'd think they'd at least give us a tank or a Warthog-equivalent... wait, are those forklifts? And surprisingly fast and tough forklifts, to boot? Never mind, I think we all know what to do now.
• During the Arms Dealer strike, Cayde has a... curious fixation on Zahn's flame turrets, even asking you to bring back some schematics of one.
  • Most of the dialogue in the Arms Dealer strike is hilarious, serving as a moment of violent catharsis, even in-universe. In it, we discover that Cayde-6 totally absolutely definitely didn't have anything to do with why we aren't allowed to have flares any more, amongst many other things;
  Cayde-6: Did you shoot up a flare? I thought we weren't allowed to have flares after I... had nothing to do with why we're not allowed to have flares.
  • And then there's this;
  Ghost: Hey, that tank dropped a solar fusion coil - WHY WOULD YOU PICK THAT UP?!
  Cayde-6: So s/he can find where it'll do the most damage. Smart.
  Ghost: Is it?!
  • Hawthorne also displays incredulity over the whole solar cell thing, continuing her Deadpan Snarker tendencies.
  Hawthorne: Is this what "be brave" means for you Guardians? I didn't know it was a prayer.
  Also:
  Ghost: We did it! And we didn't blow up!
  Cayde-6: Yeah, not blowing up is the best you can hope for sometimes.
  Hawthorne: Way to reach for the stars.
  • There's also a brief moment where Cayde ponders why Zahn hasn't repainted the ship chartreuse to match his armour, eliciting some confusion from Hawthorne. Sure enough when you get to him, Zahn has this horrendous yellow-green accenting on his armour.
  • While discussing the amount of Zahn's lieutenants the fireteam have had to put down, Hawthorne mentions that insecure men (like Zahn) often surround themselves with others like themselves in order to feel important.
  Ghost: Cayde, anything to add?
  Cayde-6: No, she's totally right. Which is why I work alone.
  • Cayde also comically misses the point, on the subject of elevators;
  Cayde-6: The Cabal made an elevator that goes forward? Man, they ARE inefficient.

  • Note that the transport elevator that takes you to the final encounter does actually travel up and forward.
  • On completion of the strike, Zavala may drop in to congratulate the team for the run, which Cayde mentions was "totally by the book".
  Zavala: Does this say "flame turret"?
  Hawthorne: Don't forget the signal flares.
  Zavala: [Bitter and tired sigh]
  • Rarely, Cayde will start talking after the fireteam's begun doing what it does best, complaining that the group's already started without him, and how he actually was prepared to do his job properly, with "charts and everything" before giving up in a sulk.
• There's a very very low percentage chance on the PS4 exclusive strike for the Vanguard's strike name generator to spit out something absurdly silly and activate special dialogue. Lance Riddick, Zavala's voice actor, was particularly caught off guard by this when he was already well into character. The dialogue plays out in such a way it's almost certain that the voice actors just started improvising.
  Zavala: Mobilizing fireteam for Operation, uh...Babydog? Why does this say Babydog? I must have forgotten to reboot the strike name generator.
  Devrim: Operation "Babydog?" Well, it has a certain ring to it, eh?
  Zavala: Yes..."Babydog". Well, the strike protocol is already running. Can't stop it now. Devrim?
  Devrim: *Barely holding his laughter* Yes, sorry. Fireteam "Babydog" the Taken are polluting the EDZ. We need to determine the source of—*Laughs*—I'm sorry, I can't...Stand-by fireteam.
  • Bounty: Enemies From Beyond: Complete any strike with a Taken boss at the end.
  "It was Stormcoat. Operation Stormcoat. Any other names have been stricken from the logs." — Zavala
• Failsafe is proud to debut her latest opera! Which consists of her mimicking Omnigul's signature scream. Poor Asher's ears.
• Failsafe's mood rubberbanding leans heavily on What Measure Is a Non-Human?/Androids Are People, Too at times;
  Friendly!Failsafe: (cheerfully) "That was a joke! Stealing is wrong. Usually. But the Vex are alien robot monsters. Standard moral parameters do not apply."
  Snarky!Failsafe: "It's not murder if it's robots!"
• During the Pyramidion strike, which Asher Mir acts as Mission Control for, Asher may become exceptionally confused as you are clearly not experiencing the same journey as he did. It is not impossible that he will say 'impossible' at least a dozen times in Ikora's hearing, then several times more. Observant guardians may notice that the 'radiolarian lake' that Asher describes sounds a lot like the Inverted Spire bossfight's third phase... likely not a coincidence.
  Ikora: Asher's studying data on your current position. I believe he's said "Impossible!", oh, 12 times and counting. Here, I'll patch him in.
  Asher: (muttering to himself) Impossible! Impossible. But could it..? No, no, no, no, that's impossible. Impossible! Why? What could govern such an impossible discrepancy?
  • Sometimes, Ghost will wonder if the lake is a metaphor.
    Ghost: (quietly) Perhaps the lake is a metaphor..?
    Asher: (angrily, rambling somewhat) Summon the Genesis Mind. Destroy it. Make it suffer. And it is not a metaphor!
  • Ikora taking jabs at Asher.
    Ikora: Asher can't figure out where you are. If he drops out, it's because he's thrown a tantrum and broken his microphone.
    Asher: I heard that, you wretch!
    Ikora: Asher feels comfortable saying these things because he is on Io, and I am not.
  • Sometimes, Ikora will mention that he's confounded.
    Ikora: We're analyzing data from the Pyramidion...brace yourselves. I believe our Gensym Scribe is genuinely confounded.
    Asher: Inaccurate! I have never been confounded in my life!
• During an Adventure to get Failsafe to hack into the Vex network on Nessus, the risk pops up that the Vex might catch her. She then drops this threat on your Ghost. Gains bonus points for saying this in her typical cheery voice.

  Failsafe: If they kill me, I will haunt your shell!

  • Then they do catch her, and it turns out the Vex have a Year Inside, Hour Outside situation that had Failsafe inside their computer for a decade by the time you save her. When the Ghost apologizes for his botched plan, she still uses her cheerful and happy tone when she's this:
    Ghost: I'm so sorry, I never meant to put you through that!
    Failsafe: But you did. And I never forget those who wrong me!
• One of Crucible's medals is named "I Live Here Now".
• The Gunsliger's lore entry. It's a Gunslinger telling a first-person story about how a Fallen Kell has him by the throat, but luckily he can pull his Golden Gun out of thin air to blast the thing. He even brags about how much he'll enjoy the look on the Kell's face... than remembers he already used his Golden Gun getting onto the ship.
  The thing I love about my Ghost-
• There's an automated sign in the hangar of the Tower that counts "Days Since the Last Accident", optimistically to a three-digit number. Every time a player kills themselves by hurling themselves off the edge of the Tower (or through the convenient door to nowhere that sometimes opens up right next to the sign) it resets to zero. It's a very rare occurrence to see the sign at a higher count than 1. Even better, the sign is placed on the wall that Cayde-6 stares at all day where it no doubt taunts and tempts him for every minute he's on deck.
• The lore entry for the Electronica Shell◊. It's a reporter writing a piece about what Guardians do when they aren't saving the galaxy, and how he thought they might be not so different from ordinary people. It turns out that Guardians dance. A lot. One person being interviewed say that's about all they do whenever he sees them; sometimes in groups, sometimes all alone. Another person says that sometimes, they "dance at each other."
  "I feel like I'm watching the nature channel."
• Combat Mission Patrols where Cayde-6 can operate as Mission Control (such as those on Nessus) can be introduced with the following line.
  Cayde-6: I got some baddies on the trail near you. I heard them say some pretty disparaging things about your armor. And your mother. And your mother's armor.
• At the end of the "Lake of Shadows" strike, one rare set of lines features a conversation between Commander Zavala and Devrim Kay, about how when Guardians and normal humans work together, the can achieve anything. At that point, Amanda Holiday (who has no involvement whatsoever in this particular Strike) abruptly cuts in to the line to mention that "I could listen to you two talk all day."
• During the Leviathan raid, one of the enemies are "Ceremonial Bathers", Cabal Gladiators who are taking a bath in nothing but a loincloth, then charge you with a pair of swords. It's not really much on the scale of bad things Emperor Calus has done...and yet, at the same time, it's semi-naked Cabal charging at you, which is somehow so much worse than anything Oryx or Ghaul ever did.

Curse of Osiris

• The Cinematic Trailer for Curse of Osiris opens with the titular Warlock freezing time while a raid team is fighting a swarm of Vex within the Vault of Glass. However, his Ghost, Sagira, proves that your Ghost isn't the only snarky Little Light.
  Sagira: Ominous rocks, killer robots, people in mortal danger. Seriously, aren't you tired of this?
  Osiris: Fatigue is a distraction from our purpose. As are complaints.
  Sagira: Oh, I haven't begun to complain yet. *floats into a Vex Slap Rifle laser* Ouch! Ooo, now I'm complaining!
  • Sagira later decides to play around and screw with the Vex by pointing their guns away from the Guardians.
    Sagira: Reach for the sky, big guy.
  • When Sagira discovers the Minotaur she played around with somehow returned to its original position, it turns to her, prompting this little nugget.
    Sagira: OH, SH-!
• Whilst entering the Forest for the first time after reviving Sagira;
  Sagira: Osiris has adapted some of the technology of the Forest to his own purposes. We're going to run into his Reflections.
  They're copies - of himself. Made so he can explore multiple pathways at once.
  And yes, I am aware that it makes Osiris seem like an egomaniac.
  But don't worry, he is.
• After Panoptes snags Sagira, the guardian finds themselves back outside the forest with their ghost back in Nolanbot mode. Unfortunately, Ghost doesn't remember anything since you revived Sagira, so he's a little confused.
  Ghost: I feel so strange. Like someone's rearranged all the furniture in my house except the house is my brain.
  • While Ghost is looking around and monologuing in confusion, the guardian is trying to physically push through the forest's barrier in what is possibly the most urgent and least graceful way possible, short of trying to ram through the barrier with their head.
• While fighting waves of Hive during the A Bug in the System Adventure,
  Ghost: You know, Oryx wouldn't need an Ascendant Realm if he had the Forest.
  Osiris: I've run that simulation, Oryx always needs an Ascendent Realm.
  Sagira: You both know Oryx is dead, right?
  • Either Fridge Brilliance or a Moment of Awesome for Osiris if you read the Books of Sorrow supplemental info^note available by either finding hidden items in the game then logging on to the website, or looking online for someone else who posted it from The Taken King, which states that the Vex couldn't simulate Oryx beyond his pre-Hive state as Princess Aurash (Fridge Brilliance if it implies that Oryx couldn't be Oryx without an Ascendant Realm, Awesome Moment if it implies that Osiris could simulate Oryx in his Taken King state).
• In the Garden World Strike, Osiris makes a grandiose statement about how the strike will be a learning experience, prompting this observation from Ghost:
  Osiris: Doing this again will build character. Every battle is a learning experience, whether you're a god-slayer or a neophyte.
  Ghost: You sound like Lord Shaxx.
  Osiris: No, Shaxx sounds like me.
  • Later;
  Osiris: (distracted) I'm contending with Vex in three parallel simulations. I'll compose a detailed apology at a later date.
  Sagira: (aside, to the Guardians) No he won't.
• One of the new Exotics introduced in the expansion, the Prometheus Lens Trace Rifle^*Creates a damaging field at the point of impact, was shipped with a Game-Breaking Bug that made the weapon a complete Game-Breaker in PvP, causing it to melt players in seconds just by rapidly tagging them a few times. Bungie noticed and began working on a fix the would release the week after. You'd think that they's also have to cancel the Weekend Trials of the Nine because this bug would basically kill the spirit of the game, right? Nope. With the first weekend of the expansion's release, Xur arrived with said broken Exotic weapon up for sale, either by some twist of logic on Bungie's part, or by complete random chance. Either way, everyone would have their fun basically playing Laser Tag with this completely and utterly broken-ass monster of a gun... for the week. Later on, a commemorative emblem was given to players who took part in the crucible during Laser Tag Weekend. The illustration[1] appropriately shows a skull being pierced by a laser beam.
• Calus calls on the Guardians for another raid in the Leviathan, this time to kill Vex that hitched a ride on chunks of the planet while Nessus was being consumed. It's like he's basically calling the Guardians to basically help clean up the mess he made when the Leviathan was eating Nessus.
  • Made even funnier by the fact that by that point the guardians know he wasn't even on the ship, to begin with. They're just doing it for the loot.
• During the Dawning live event, a new feature was added where snowballs spawn at various points in the worlds and social spaces. Not only can you see Guardians engaging each other in snowball fights, but you can also use them against enemies. It's hard to describe how funny it is to see the minions of the Darkness being covered in snow, or outright killed by snowballs.
  • The snowballs do a lot of damage for "just" snow. They do a lot of damage even if a rock were hidden in them. Their damage potential is comparable to some grenades. Guardian snowball fights are clearly take-no-prisoners, Shaxx-inspired deathmatches.
  • Not only against enemies, at the social spaces guardians could be seen lobbing snowballs at NPCs they are not fond of. No visible effect, but probably somewhat cathartic.
• What's Zavala's Dawning gift? A Ghaul stress doll. Which he immediately begins using.
  • The Dawning gift for Failsafe makes specific note that she's been stuck on Nessus for five hundred years and would probably like to "go out on the town". You make her a pair of earrings. For an immobile AI. As opposed to getting her off the rock she's stranded on. (As a side note, she genuinely seems to like them. Despite not having ears.)
    • This could also be Hilarious in Hindsight if you got Failsafe's voice narrating as a result of the Well of Wishes in the Last Wish raid; your wish was making hers come true. It could count as heartwarming, too, for those same reasons.
  • Ikora gets a joke book. She cracks a smile so faint and so fast that the player's not entirely sure they saw it.
  • Cayde gets a chicken-sized horn and cloak. Not only does he love it, he immediately hides it and then acts like you never saw him squee over it.
  • Your Guardian believes that Devrim needs an alternative drink to his usual cup of tea, and so makes a latte out of Vex radiolarian fluid.
    • He shouldn't have drunk the tea he made for you in the tutorial mission.
  • For Asher Mir, you make a SINGLE arm-warmer. Amazingly, he's slightly grateful and doesn't rip your head off, literally or metaphorically.
  • Rahool gets a lump of coal painted to look like an engram. The text for the gift reads, "Giving gifts is part of the Dawning's traditions. Doing unto others as they've done to you is another.".
  • Hawthorne's gift is sedatives to calm down her hawk, almost certainly a reference to the jittery flickering of his animation on Hawthorne's interaction screen in the early days of the game.
• Normally the subtitle under a Crucible game mode describes what you're supposed to do. The Dawning-exclusive game mode Mayhem^note Extremely fast ability cooldowns, power weapon spawns and super refilling, on the other hand: "For injury liability policy, refer to Crucible Waiver Article 6, Paragraph 18." Yes, Mayhem is so chaotic and destructive that despite the participants being immortal, the people running it are still worried about being sued!

Warmind

• On the days preceding the expansion's release, Bungie teased several of the revamped Exotic weapons by showcasing how much more powerful and awesome they got. Then we get to Sweet Business, which features two clips; the first one showcases its increased ammo capacity by singlehandedly mowing down a Fallen Walker, but then we get to the second clip, which features a Titan with Actium War Rig firing it nonstop as the scenery quickly goes from daylight to nighttime.
• Ana Bray's introductory cutscene has her calling on a secure channel she's clearly not meant to be on, asking for backup. Your Ghost tries to tell her to change channels, only for her to comment that the player got "one of those uptight Ghosts" before continuing as though she'd not been interrupted. Look closely and you might even catch your Guardian smirking as if they quietly agree with Ana.
  Ghost (angered and a bit hurt): "Uptight...?"
• Ana's reaction to discovering that Zavala was waaay onto her investigation... and is pissed.
  Ana: "Aw, shhhhhanks...
• Once more Guardians face the risks of Death from Above... but this time it's not from Cabal drop pods. A Mars Public Event involves a Warsat dropping out of the sky and players having to defend it from the Hive... except that the Warsat lands hard enough to kill any Guardian directly beneath it, and send others flying back a considerable distance from the impact. One gets the impression that Rasputin finds the whole thing a bit amusing with how not-give-a-fuck he is about dropping Warsats on Guardian heads.
• During the fight against Val Ca'uor, if a Guardian happens to be caught in the active teleporter without possessing the Superior Retainer buff (given randomly to 3 fireteam members), they will die on the way up. When this happens, Calus himself will bellow a bombastic laughter for a solid half minute, amused at the poor sap's spectacular failure.
  • Within the same fight, breaking Ca'uor's shield is good and all, but one must not forget to not stand anywhere near the floating Calus robot, least they get crushed by it as it comes crashing down after performing a slamdunk on Ca'uor's barrier.
• Upon returning from your fight against Ca'uor in Prestige Mode, Benedict 99-40 will transmit his congratulations on behalf of Calus as well as the latter's admiration for your bravery, but then bluntly states that he thinks you're just in it for all the shiny things. He also admits that he's not one to judge since he basically lives in a closet.

Forsaken

• The prologue's prison break up until Cayde's last stand is very light-hearted, as it features Cayde-6 doing all sorts of shenanigans while you and Petra try to maintain a professional attitude.
  • Upon arrival, Cayde immediately squees over Petra's knife and asks her to do her magic trick, which is making it hover with telekinesis. When Cayde asks her to repeat the trick, she curtly tells him she'll do it later. As everyones goes on business, Cayde drops down and heads are already flying.
    Cayde: Got you! [Gunfire sounds] Got you! [More gunfire] Got you!
  • Later in the mission, Cayde gets the drop on a Cabal legionary and stabs him, but the latter staggers towards the ledge and falls off, taking Cayde along with him. After a few seconds, Cayde comes back up by holding on to a stray Shank and tries to direct it towards the control room, with a few difficulties.
    Cayde: Go left! Left! Your other left!
  • Within the control room, Cayde thought simply pulling the lever would make everything work... except it doesn't, and only attracts the Hive that have jammed the systems with gunk. After that's done, Ghost reminds him to purge the buffer by pressing the red button... on a wall full of red buttons.
    Cayde: They're all red!
    Ghost: Then press all of them!!!
    [Cayde frantically presses as many red buttons as he can until the systems go green]
    Cayde: I can't believe that worked! I am amazing at this! [Pulls the lever again, which still doesn't work] Scratch that, it did NOT work.
    • After another wave of Hive, Cayde tries to pull the lever again without success. Fed up, Cayde simply shoots it and lo, it finally works!
    Cayde: Tech support, with extreme prejudice.
  • On the next segment, Cayde positively squees when he finds out the defense turrets have a manual mode, and he gladly helps you on your way throught the catwalk.
  • Cayde thought that the quickest way to the bottom of the Prison of Elders was to collapse a platform and then ride it down. He even gives Petra a happy wave as he passes her. What really sells it is the WTF look on Petra's face as she watches him ride the falling platform like a mechanical bull.
    • If you read her lips, she's clearly saying "what the"; the "fuck" was left out for obvious reasons.
• The Empty Tank Lost Sector inexplicably lays host to an impromptu nightclub for Fallen, complete with music, DJ, and even a bouncer (the door to the area won't unlock unless you kill the Wretch guarding it.) And since the Lost Sector is a Light level 480 area, you will be turned away your first time there.
• While recovering Cayde's stashes for the Ace of Spades parts, you also find various messages for whoever might've killed him. Some are heartwarming or tear-jerking, and some are just hilarious.
  • The first one is for Eris Morn. He assumes that either she became a Hive death god, or she just got sick of him.
  • When he gets around to the Drifter, he claims he had the idea for Gambit first, when the Drifter "was still handsome."
  • His message for Petra Venj has him figure she might've gone after him on the order of the Sovs... But he decides it was probably because of collateral damage. "You've got a blast radius, P.V."
    • Of course, it’s also sobering since one could interpret this to be exactly what did happen
  • Hawthorne's message basically has him figure she took him out via a convoluted trap, which he remarks is quite Hunter-like. His final troll, however, is to bequeath her "the Colonel", who is, remember, Cayde's pet chicken, and advises her on said chicken's eating habits.
  • His next message is for in case one of his Hunters did the deed (he guesses Marcus Ren), and then proceeds to troll them by telling them that Klingon Promotion applies with the Hunter Vanguard gig.
  • He starts Zavala's by laughing at the thought of how awkward Zavala would look in that scenario and then, after some remarks, proceeds to troll him about whatever potential guilty conscience he might've gotten from the deed.
• The lore reveals that Queen Mara Sov used Ahamkara wishes to, among other things, summon people to her chambers for booty calls. Including Lord Shaxx.
• The lore tab for Savin once more lampshades how bizarre the Guardians' Player Character antics are to normal people:
  And Savin was most of all greedy — not in the grasping manner of the petty, but in an enormous, all-consuming way, for he desired materials and experiences that would temper him into a better Guardian, and he was always experimenting with his strange powers in foolish ways that left him briefly dead, seeking "a new Super ability" or "some way to make my grenades faster." He grew tired of performing trivial tasks about the Reef, complaining that the dangerous repairs he made were endless and boring, and that he wanted to move on to new worlds. He leapt into space, repeatedly and without reason, as if his death were no more traumatic than a hop off a curb.
  • Similarly, the lore for the sword Abide the Return.
    Kamala Rior climbs onto a railing at the top of the Tower in the Last City. "Guardians of the Tower!" she calls out.
    A few look her way. One begins dancing at her feet. Others fool around with a purple ball.
• Within the "Last Wish", right before the encounter with Kalli, lies the Wall of Wishes that you can use to grant a wish by shooting the right combination of symbols. Most of the wishes are mundane (like teleporting you to a specific encounter in the raid), but then you have goofy cosmetic wishes like the confetti popping out of headshot kills (complete with cheering sound; an obvious throwback to Halo's Grunt Birthday Party skull), Paul McCartney's "Hope for the Future" playing out, and finally, Failsafe hijacking your body and replacing all of Riven's dialogue lines with her own zany experience throughout the raid.
  • At the very end of the raid, Failsafe states she enjoyed the experience, but wishes she had her own body next time, since yours is gross and sweaty.
  • There's also a wish that replaces the dialogue with the Drifter.
  The Drifter: I started today wondering what you're like out here, away from Gambit. And now I know: You are insane.
• Didi, Marcus Ren's Ghost, tries writing a play about your role in the Taken War. Said play stars Didi as yourself, Marcus as Ghost, Enoch Bast and his Ghost as Oryx and Crota respectively, and another Ghost and a sweeperbot as the Deathsingers. With No Budget and Didi completely clueless about writing, period, it goes as well as you expect.
  Commander Zavala: "An insensitive and disrespectful travesty of a production, with truly abominable prop design — an insult to the art of papier-mâché."
  Your Ghost: "Is this supposed to be me? Oh… oh no…"
  Tyra Karn's Ghost: "I've been thinking about it, and I really do think it would be worthwhile for you to learn the basics of narrative composition. Sit down, we're doing this now."
  Lord Shaxx: "Undeniably enthusiastic, I'll grant you that. But is the dialogue meant to come across so… sexually charged?"

Season of the Forge

• The week before Black Armory launched, the Inverted Spire strike was temporarily unavailable due to a bug. The bug in question? The boss, Protheon, Modular Mind, spawned three times its normal size.
• Eva Levante returned, and so did the Dawning. By defeating enemies you can farm ingredients based on the enemy faction or what weapon and ability was used. These can be used to bake cookies for characters. Incorrectly combining ingredients results in:
  Burnt Edge Transits, Holiday 'Gift': Deliver these highly sought-after treats to Master Rahool in the Tower Courtyard.
  Rahool's mouth tightens at your approach, but he is polite enough as he accepts your gift.
  • Every ingredient has a description on their effects. Ether Cane brings sweetness, Chitin Powder adds spice... and then there's Vex Milk, which turns it all into radiolaria.

Season of the Drifter

• In the "Stolen Intelligence" Book, a note from Ikora Rey discusses how the Hunter Vanguard seat is still empty, with Ikora admitting that if they followed the rules of Cayde-6's Vanguard Dare (which was essentially Klingon Promotion) they would have to elect Savathun to the Vanguard. Ikora and Commander Zavala both agree that the best idea is to caucus with the Hunters and discuss who they feel should become the new Hunter Vanguard. There is just one problem: when the Hunter community realized this, all the serious potential candidates fled the Last City en masse specifically to avoid getting the job.
• The fact that the quest to obtain D1's infamous Thorn hand cannon begins in the Salt Mines in the EDZ.
• While it's still absolute Nightmare Fuel, there's something rather hilarious about the fact that the name of the hideous screaming death robot from the "Zero Hour" mission, TR3-VR, can be read as "Trevor".

Season of Opulence

• The premise of much of the expansion's lore entries: Calus has assigned the Psions to make predictions of what the player will do as his Shadow. The only catch is that the Psions know Calus will probably execute them if they give unsatisfactory insight, requiring them to BS their way through the whole thing. The resulting text is bleakly hilarious, portraying the player as a blindly loyal, genocidal sidekick who routinely does things Beyond the Impossible.
  • Their understandings of Earth culture and customs are also somewhat... flawed. At one point, Zavala and Hawthorne have a very convincing^note read: absolutely full of shit discussion whilst playing Checkers and enjoying "nuggets of chicken and the beer of roots". Really, the entire thing comes off as badly-written, badly-researched Crack Fic. Other highlights include mention of a Cayde-7, Failsafe becoming Shadow of the Exo as "Failsafe-0" and being split into two seperate Exo bodies (referred to as "Exodus" and "Black") who promptly murder each other, and more.
  • To hammer home how bad the Psions understanding of Earth is, at the end of the entry featuring Zavala and Hawthorne, one scribe leaves a footnote for the author that says "Yes, that sounds plausible". They're taking their minimal understanding of Earth and giving themselves pats on the back about it.
• As always, Calus' booming baritone provides endless fun for the Menagerie as he acts as its host whilst taking hefty bites out of the decor. He also gets in on the "Little Light" Running Gag, though he uses that to refer to the Guardian rather than their Ghost.

Shadowkeep/Season of the Undying

• When Eris Morn accidentally activates the Pyramid, it begins summoning nightmares to break the Guardians. Eris' take the form of her dead teammates, and increasingly throw accusations over their deaths at her. Eventually she gets fed up and screams "QUIET!" at them so loudly that the nightmares actually recoil in fright. Even the minions of the Darkness find Eris Morn too creepy for their tastes.
• Getting the Leviathan's Breath Exotic bow requires you getting the quest from Banshee-44, who then sends you to his secret workshop through a convoluted maze of rooms through the Tower's hangar. You finally get there, and can see it in the glass case...and the door is locked. What puts the cherry on top though, is the quest's description for your next step: "Return to Banshee to complain."^note "Politely, of course."
  • After telling Banshee of the problem, he gives you a quest that will give you the components to make a key that will open case. Banshee admits that you could also break the glass, but then sternly says "I wouldn't break the glass", implying the case has one hell of a security system.
• The Festival of the Lost has a long quest chain of giving and receiving gifts, starting with Eris Morn giving you a box of raisins. At the end of the quest you return to Eris who gives a mournful monologue about her experiences with the festival and traumas she still grapples with... then she gives you a toothbrush and comments on the importance of dental hygene in the same grim tone. The toothbrush is a usable item.

Season of the Dawn

• The Dawning event has you cook treats for the NPCs. They're all either puns or quirky combinations, but Eris' treat, Ascendant Oatmeal Raisin Cookies, takes the cake (pun very much intended); turns out, Eris actually really likes raisins, which means that her giving you raisins every year in Festival of the Lost was perfectly sincere.
• The Devil's Ruin exotic quest. The last step of the quest involves traveling to the Twilight Gap Crucible map and collecting materials from broken Redjack frames, while Saint-14 and Osiris talk over the comms and argue, good-naturedly, about past events. At the end, Shaxx comes over the comms and joins in, arguing with Saint about some of the Crucible pinnacle weapons and whether the former still owes the latter glimmer. Finally, Saint coaxes a song out of Shaxx! Turns out, there's a good reason he doesn't sing:
  Shaxx: (singing) "I'm on the Moon. It's made of cheese."
  Saint-14: "That is awful."
  Shaxx: "It's not my song! It's Eris'."
  • Really let that one sink in. Eris Morn is more eager to sing than Shaxx.
• A lot of Saint-14's idle dialogue is great. Amongst other things, he has a serious obsession with birds (and gives you tutorials on how to properly hold them), plays pranks on Lord Shaxx, asks Warlocks how they float all the time in the menus, and describes a kid who pitched a toy shield at his head as being a young Titan in the making.
• In the Breathe lore entry, Saint-14 and Ana are chatting with each other while getting ready for the Dawning. Mid-conversation, Ana casually and without explanation dumps birdseed on Saint's shoulders, causing a bunch of pigeons to start perching on him. Saint being Saint just sits and takes it.

Season of the Worthy

• Zavala's office can now be accessed in the Tower's map, and some of the things that are found there might be worth a chuckle.
  • A crochet kit on the small table in the corner.
  • Zavala's exercise mixtape, which is composed by remixes of Destiny's soundtrack with Shaxx shouting pep talks here and there. It was later published under Destiny's Youtube chanel as Shaxxercise.
• In the lorebook "The Liar", a realization strikes Felwinter: his Ghost gave him the name Felwinter, but he doesn't know her name. The Ghost suggests Felwinter give her a name, and Felwinter decides with "Felspring". The Ghost reacts a little incredulously at the name, but Felwinter has made his decision. The rest of the Lorebook refers to the Ghost as "Felspring".
• One of the more ludicrous Ghost Shells sold this season turns out to be the Almost Mighty Shell, which is clearly an imitation of the Cabal's own Planet Destroyer, the Almighty. However, the ship wings are replaced with two crudely taped wooden rulers above and below your Ghost's eye.
  For Ghosts who have delusions of grandeur.

Season of Arrivals

• While she is studying the Tree of Silver Wings on Io, Eris has taken up cooking, and is very confused when the recipe calls for pineapple.
  • A following lore book has a Guardian come and offer to help Eris in her work. Eris' response? Snarl out a command to bring her pineapples.
    Eris Morn: I know I was cruel.
  • About a month later, the Guardian, now identified as Enina, returns after she found a garden manifest on Titan containing pineapple seeds. Eris writes in her journal "Pine-apples are real!", like this is a revelation on par with the true nature of the Traveler and the Darkness. After sending Enina to bring her pineapple seeds, Eris finishes her journal entry with this solemn vow:
    Eris: I will not give up my work. Not until I have fried rice with pine-apple and raisins. And not until I know exactly what is coming.
• For this season, the Drifter has kit-bashed together the Umbral Decoder, a device that decodes Umbral Engrams and keeps spouting hilariously bombastic voice-mails that the Drifter pre-recorded for you.
  Umbral Decoder: Scanning biometrics... ahh, I'm kidding! You know you're authorized.
  Umbral Decoder: Isn't this thing cool? It's like Rahool, but better.
  Umbral Decoder: Welcome to the...Dark Decoder. Eh, I'll think up a real name later.
  Umbral Decoder: Go ahead, throw some Darkness in there. Don't worry, it's safe. Uh, I think.
  Umbral Decoder: Welcome to my machine! It's like a Cryptarch that won't judge you.
  Umbral Decoder: Building this thing was easy. Getting it to record my voice was the hard part.
  Umbral Decoder: Okay, uh — start recording now or what? (Beat) Do I push it and HOLD, or just—argh!
• Though Nokris's return marks The Reveal of a rather unpleasant agenda, Ghost is all too eager to fire back at him when he tries to insult the player with seemingly-hypocritical remarks in the Interference mission.
  Nokris: Cast off your Worm. Your tiny bulb of sickness. Your tethered anchor that drags to the sky.
  Ghost: "Worm?" Speak for yourself.^note Prior to the events of Season 11, Xol abandoned Nokris in favor of the player, so he technically doesn't have a worm.
  Nokris: An agent of violence. What more must you cull?
  Ghost: ...really? This, from the Hive?
• The Duress and Egress lore entry Vance: Canary includes more player antics. It involves him promptly kicking a Titan out of his Sanctuary after realizing that said Titan had gone through four-hundred Sundial runs to get a godrolled Perfect Paradox.
  Vance: How much Fractaline did you sacrifice for this? Four hundred fragments? ...More?
  Titan: It's got a trench barrel.
  Vance: Remove yourself from my sanctum.
• From the same lorebook, we have Asher studying the Pyramid on Io - by firing a railgun at it. The Pyramid froze the projectile right at the moment of impact, ironically being perhaps the first time the Guardians encountered Stasis.
  "Man of science though he was, the first thing Asher Mir did was shoot the damned thing."

Beyond Light/Season of the Hunt

• In the "Stealing Stasis" mission to unlock the Salvation's Grip exotic grenade launcher, The Drifter is unable to be there to run the mission, but left behind notes. Ghost takes it upon himself to do a Drifter impression throughout the mission, adding a bit of levity to the whole thing.
  • Real Life Writes the Plot: A writer came up with the idea since they were unable to get The Drifter's voice actor into a recording session due to COVID-19-related complications. Nolan North's first takes were too good of an impression, so they told him he had to make it worse.
• In the lore tabs on the new Crucible armor set, Lord Shaxx proves he doesn't care about Guardians using Darkness powers. He does care about something else, though. The lore on the arm piece describes people and things (including a flock of well-fed pigeons in the hangar) throughout the Tower being disturbed by an enthusiastic shout from Shaxx:
  "THEY ARE THROWING NEW GRENADES!"
  • The chest armor piece has a tab that has a moment where Shaxx claps a hand on some Hunter's shoulder...and he does it hard enough to knock them to the ground, reloading the Hunter's weapons. At least they got off better than Andal Brask in The Tall Tale's lore, who got a similar hard impact on the shoulder...except he died from that one.
• During some Season of the Hunt events, Crow may remark about how impressed he is about their skills on the field and hopes he never gets on their bad side. Ghost kindly tells him that their Guardian can't hold a grudge. Forsaken says otherwise.
  • The Crow also says that if he had met the Young Wolf before he become a Guardian, then he might have survived whatever it was that killed him in the first place.
• The Lore tab for the Cryptolith Lure states that among the many items in Spider's vault is "a pre-Collapse datapad, named after a fruit". Just the knowledge that Spider owns an Ipad is oddly amusing.

Season of the Chosen

• During the opening cutscene, Osiris reminded Commander Zavala that Empress Caiatl betrayed her father, Emperor Calus, and would plunge a "gilded knife" into the Vanguard's backs. After negotiations fail, Caiatl says that she'll sharpen that gilded knife and see the Guardians on the battlefield. Ten weeks later, after the Proving Grounds strike, Caiatl and Zavala swear a Blood Oath to start an armistice between the Cabal Empire and the Last City. What do they use to cut their palms? A gilded knife.
• Osiris and Crow, when paired with Saladin during a Battleground, like to roast the Iron Lord for his actions during the Red War...or rather, his lack thereof.
• During the Battlegrounds: Foothold mission, the Guardians will eliminate a Cabal commander trying to burn out a Hive nest in the Cosmodrome as payback for Xivu Arath's destruction of Torobatl. When the Guardians transmat in, a furious Empress Caiatl demands they not interfere in the Empire's business. Amanda Holliday will employ Fake Static to ignore her. We repeat, everyone's favorite pilot is using Fake Static on the Empress of the Cabal. This will result in the mental image of a confused Caiatl demanding that the technicians on her flagship explain if their equipment is working. It's doubly hilarious considering they're voiced by the same actress.

Season of the Splicer

• In the Eliksni Quarter, if you inspect the Skiff, Eido will tell you that her father (Mithrax) found her in a vent as a hatchling, and they used to joke that "my father was a Splicer and my mother was a Ketch".
• Deleting Quria in Expunge: Delphi without dying gives you the Zeroneiro Ghost shell. Surely an item from an encounter with such a lore-important character must have an equally relevant lore tab, right? Not exactly. Rather than anything related to Quria or even the Vex, you're instead treated to another Guardian who received a Splicer Gauntlet, a Warlock who is absolutely convinced the Gauntlet can give him free loot. Hilarity Ensues as it turns out he's been trying for a while as his annoyed Ghost tries to get him to just buy secondhand from the market. Seems like the Pujari-Wei ratio doesn't just apply to the field of battle.
• The Sunstead armornset has some rather funny loretabs, all being entries by Eido. The Helmet's loretab reveals that she was peeking on two people making out, and the mark has her observing a party that involved alcohol.
  • The loretab for the Sunstead Greaves is a report regarding the House Light engineer, Klyfiks, turning a woman's smoker into a rideable vehicle!
  "Although the machine no longer produces smoke in the appropriate manner, it now travels upwards of 20 kilometers per hour on very little fuel. The neighborhood children have been riding it along the street all day. I even saw them gathering supplies to add a steering system. In the end, Klyfiks and I agree that it's a great thing he's done."
• By reading some of the lore tabs for the seasonal gear, you learn that Crow has been stealing supplies from Spider and giving them to House Light. The Soujourner's Tale lore tab reveals that Spider laughed and joked about how "the kid's grown a spine". Then Avrok, his assistant, hands Spider a note:
  Inside is nothing more than a crude drawing and a rude missive.
  "That little sh—"
• Doubles as a Heartwarming and Awesome moment - during the Expunge: Last City mission, you can find a friendly Harpy hovering over a chair, surrounded by research equipment. It's Asher, and the first thing it does upon seeing you is call you "ASSISTANT" in morse code. Seems being turned into a Vex has done nothing for his attitude.

Season of the Lost

• During the season's opening mission, Crow informs the Young Wolf of a nearby beacon they can use to go to the Ascendant Realm, with Glint innocently adding that they used to use them to hide from Wrathborn. Crow is very quick to assert otherwise.
  The Crow: Stalk, we were stalking, not hiding.
• While coming on the heels of The Reveal that Savathun has been possessing Osiris since "Season of the Hunt", the first conversation with the Witch Queen reveals that Savathun lacks Oryx and Xivu Arath's Evil Is Hammy tendencies.
  Savathun: I am Savathun, the Witch Queen, Sister of Shapes, deepest in the Hive Coven, etc., etc.
  • Really, Savathun seems to be Leaning on the Fourth Wall rather heavily here. She's apparently aware of how antagonists like her tend to display I Have Many Names tendencies, and the Witch Queen contrasts the Taken King and the God of War very noticeably by snarking about all the titles she has.
• After completing an Shattered Realm mission, Crow will ask how the Ascendant Plane functions since most of what he knows of it came from Savathun posing as Osiris. Petra starts to explain before asking him what he learned in the Last City.
  The Crow: Mostly point, shoot, and jump.
  • In essence, Crow is pointing out how a Guardian's main job is just go somewhere and shoot the place up, with occasional mobility.
• If you complete an Astral Alignment mission after Crow has left, Petra will remark on his absence and notes how she misses his skills. Glint, who is eavesdropping on the conversation, promptly tells this to Crow. Also doubles as a moment of heartwarming, as while Crow says he doesn't care, Glint thinks otherwise.
• During Festival of the Lost 2021, the Guardians help Glint in his pursuit of the Headless Ones, monsters which dwell in Haunted Lost Sectors. Glint being Glint, he'll let slip some humorous dialogue every now and then.
  Glint: I used to think the Headless Ones were just stories Ghosts told each other, but now that I've seen them up close, I just don't know!
  Glint: Thanks for saving me from the Fallen. If they caught me, who would sing Crow to sleep?
• "The Pigeon Provides", a Dawning 2021 exclusive quest, has Saint-14 and the Young Wolf making baked goods for the Eliksni of House Light in the Tower. Saint carefully measures the ingredients, but he's impatient to get it done and thinks hotter flames will bake the Kellsdough more quickly. Amanda has to bust out a fire extinguisher when smoke starts to fill the hangar and, at one point, Saint puts up a Ward of Dawn to keep himself and the Young Wolf from being eaten by the rapidly rising Kellsdough.
  His desperate cries of "More sugar!" will echo in your mind for weeks to come.

Bungie 30th Anniversary

• The update's arena mode, Dares of Eternity, is a fairly standard blend of platforming and bossfights with unique mechanics, set in roughly the same patch of Unknown Space as the Crucible map of the same name. Well, that would be the case if it wasn't accompanied by a new entity named Starhorse (a horse made out of transdimensional fabric) and Xur.
  • Every time Starhorse makes a noise, the subtitles make sure to describe it with "space-y" adjectives like "entropic" and "empyrean."
  • Apparently, Dares of Eternity is a gameshow being shown... somewhere in The Multiverse. In other words, it's a depraved Sadist Show that may or may not be making use of Expendable Alternate Universes and is treated like a typical gameshow along the lines of Wheel of Fortune or The Price Is Right. Xur himself is hosting and provides appropriate commentary, making the whole thing a hilariously bizarre experience as he carries all the casual energy of a real gameshow host in his usual Creepy Monotone.
  • Speaking of The Price is Right, Xur may remind the player to spay and neuter their Ghosts at the end of a run in a very left-field non-sequitur that only makes sense with some knowledge of the former show.
  • The Metal Slime of the week for this mode is the Taken Ogre Kashh'n-Pryzus. As in, cash and prizes.
  • The final bosses of the mode are classic bosses from Destiny 1. The Cabal get community unfavorite Valus Ta'aurc, and if he comes up, Xur responds in kind:
    "Whether you wanted it or not, you've stepped into a war with the Cabal."
  • When the Taken are the race selected to be fought, Xur will say that they were "assembled unwillingly from our studio audience", meaning that the Taken are part of the audience. And since the Taken are little more than extensions of their master, this means that somewhere in the multiverse, the Gods of the Hive, if not the Darkness itself, are watching Dares of Eternity. This will result in the mental image of Oryx, Savathun, and Xivu Arath all joining together to watch the show from the Ascendant Realm. The Books of Sorrow said that the Hive Gods had some weird family traditions, but this is just strange even by the Sword-Logic (though given the amount of death included, surprisingly consistent with it).
  • At the end of the game, the Starhorse will often say "Good Night, Xur" through its various neighs and brays. Xur, being compelled by the Nine to translate the Starhorse's words, assumes that this is another message for the Guardians and will utter a confused "...er, good night, Xur", not realizing that the Starhorse was just wishing him a good night.
  • Crota's status as a Butt-Monkey in the fanbase gets new life as he's the only returning boss from Destiny in Dares of Eternity described as being "time locked" by Xur while Ta'aurc and Zydron get a free pass. The poor Hive-God prince really just can't catch a break, can he?

The Witch Queen/Season of the Risen

• The first words we hear from a character connected to the Lucent Hive that isn't the Witch Queen herself prove that indeed, they're exactly like us... for better or worse.
  Immaru: Attention all Lucent Hives, Immaru here with your marching orders. Got a high-priority messenger passing through our territory. Keep those gun-toting lamp-maggots off of her.
• During the meeting with Caiatl at the start of Season of the Risen, your character shows up in the middle of an argument between Lord Saladin and the Cabal Empress.
  Zavala: Guardian. What fortuitous timing.
  Caiatl: Indeed.
• The post-campaign quest "Of Queens and Worms" has Queen Mara Sov making a deal with Savathun's exorcised and dying worm: she will provide it with a new host, and in return, it tells them what it knows about the Collapse, and the Witness. Over the course of the quest, multiple hints are dropped that Mara will imbue the worm within herself, essentially replacing Savathun as it's host. At the final mission of the quest, Mara makes good on her promise to provide the worm with a new host. What she didn't tell the worm (or the player) is that the host is a Grenade Launcher, which she gives to the Guardian as the new exotic "Parasite". The worm is... not happy:
  Worm: Wait, what is this? What have you done?!
  Mara: What I said I'd do; provide you with a host. Though I suppose this is more a "prison" of Light.
  Worm: Not what we agreed!
  • There's a bit of Snark-to-Snark Combat after the final battle, too:
    Mara: I must leave. Parasite, It's been...
    Worm: Spare me.
    Mara: Gladly.
  • Bonus points to another moment in the final mission, when Mara tells you that you have to place the worm in a bubble and recite a first incantation, but she gets interrupted by the Scorn. As the Guardian doesn't know the incantation, the now-exasperated worm gives it's own thoughts:
    "I must do everything? Put me down. I'll recite!"
  • As a side note, the worm is voiced by the same VA as Variiks the Loyal, which makes everything the worm says that much funnier.
  • If you carry the Parasite inside of the Preservation post-raid mission, some dialogue will be altered and the worm will quip about wanting to reunite with the Mother Worm (i.e., the massive inactive Worm God under Rhulk's fight arena). When you finish the mission and get a view of the Mother Worm, Savathûn Worm will recite an eulogy, only to be shut down by your Ghost's savagery.
    Ghost: Here, worm. Have your family reunion
    Savathûn's Worm: Worm Mother... though you sleep eternal, your role in grand symphony persists. Legacy will be carried best I can.
    Ghost: Okay, okay, that's enough. Moving on.
• The lore for the Dead Messenger grenade launcher consists of Caiatl and Zavala watching a Guardian use the launcher to clear out a hoard of enemies, an act that makes Caiatl actually fall in love with the weapon on the spot. Zavala notices and awkwardly offers to have a Cabal-sized version of it made, to which Caiatl responds with the Cabal equivalent of a blush at being caught admiring the gun before admitting that she'd love to use it to kill Xivu-Arath.
• The incredibly conversational tone Savathun uses in the Resonant Fury Bond when telling the Witness how much they fucked up in trying to use her as a puppet.
  And no longer does your Subjugator subjugate. He lies ensnared within his obtrusive eyesore, for upon Rhulk's attempt to subdue me with that toy he's annoyingly always on about—his "Upended"—I was able to counteract it, showing firsthand the power bequeathed to me in my new state. Now, the once-great Pyramid lies fractured, a sight you will become familiar with.
• Rhulk's "Savage Strike" technique (A move where alien giant literally roundhouse kicks the player should the get too close to him), is hilariously awesome.

Season of the Haunted

• As a meta joke, Banshee-44 is now holding Telesto when you go to see him in the Tower. Some players who headed to talk to Banshee had their game immediately crash. In the TWAB just two days later, Bungie lampshaded it:
  Telesto is causing crashes crashes when players interact with Banshee.
  No, we aren't kidding.

  As a side note, "crashes" appearing twice is how it's written in the TWAB.
  • And sometimes the model wouldn't actually load, so sometimes Banshee-44 would be holding empty air, before the game would promptly crash just as the model loaded.
• During the seasonal story mission "Sever - Shame", Crow gets so fed up with his Nightmare after it brutally tears into and mocks him that he shoots it. With his Golden Gun. Nightmare Uldren's response?
  "Ow... You're awfully bitter."
• When the Behold patrols aren't being pure Nightmare Fuel in showing the depths of Calus' depravity and insanity, they can be hilarious for the interactions between Calus and Crow.
  • During a Behold patrol in the Royal Pools, Calus will wax poetically about the how the cloning facilities under the pools created his Loyalists and one of his Shadows (Gahlran). Crow will snark about how they were failures, and Calus will reply in a hilariously petty tone that screams "I really want to feed you to the war beasts for that one".
    Calus: I remember a day when these lifts would rise, expelling new, perfectly engineered Cabal champions into my loving embrace.
    Crow: "Perfectly"? The way I hear it, most of them were failures. Like that one you engineered to bear the Crown of Sorrow.
    Calus: It is not failure, it is progress.
  • Another Behold in the Royal Pools will give the players the mental image of Calus naked in his baths. Not even Oryx, Ghaul, or Savathun ever cursed the Guardians with such horrors.
    Calus: I once reveled here for hours on end, contemplating the mysteries of the universe while soaking in these now stagnant pools...Gorged on wines and fruits from across the empire, asking questions of the stars. Yet the truest question was one I could not ask.
    Crow: Going to take a while to get that image out of my head.
• After Zavala makes peace with the loss of Hakim, when the Guardians complete a Nightmare Containment, Caiatl may ask Zavala what the things he presented to the Crown of Sorrows was. After Zavala explains that they're knitting needles, Caiatl asks what knitting is. Zavala responds "I'll show you." with an eagerness he hasn't displayed in sometime, meaning Zavala is going to teach Empress Caiatl how to knit. The image of the Cabal, the hulking, eight hundred pound Proud Warrior Race of Destiny, holding knitting needles in their oversized hands is worth the price of entry alone.
• Following the Sever-Forgiveness mission, the Nightmare of Dominus Ghaul will begin making his presence known among Guardians and the Imperial Cabal... but nearly five years after the Traveler blasted him to atoms, absolutely no one gives his memory any sort of respect. Including what had previously been his fellow manifestations of the Darkness.
  Memory of Safiyah: Press on, Guardian.
  Nightmare of Ghaul: Be silent! You are small. Weak. Like the Princess-Imperial.
  Memory of Uldren: Her title is "Empress". Call your superior what she is.
  Nightmare of Ghaul: (petulantly) I will when she earns it.
• While Sever - Rage isn't funny for the most part, there is a moment in which Caiatl refers to Eris as a "Hive-tainted witch". When you get back to the H.E.L.M. and listen to the radio transmissions, we get this gem:
  Caiatl: Morn. Would your ritual have prevented my failure?
  Eris: Now you seek the counsel of a "Hive-tainted witch"?
• Following the completion of Sever - Resolve, the Memory of Ghaul adds himself to the supporting voices in the Leviathan patrol zone, though he's still inclined to forceful actions. Safiyah is also surprisngly approving of the Guardian's brutality in the Nightmare Containment activity.
  Memory of Safiyah: I once said that Lightbearers were more than instruments of violence. But I watch this one work, and I am reminded that violence can be a useful tool.
  Memory of Ghaul: Violence is all there is.
  Memory of Uldren: You two must be fun at parties.
• One of the Containment completion dialogues after Sever - Resolve involves Calus wondering if the coup to depose him would have gone differently had he promised Caiatl in marriage to Ghaul, essentially making the Dominus his successor to the throne. Ghaul, who was Caiatl's mentor, sounds almost offended by Calus's musings.
  Memory of Ghaul: That... is not the way.

Season of Plunder

• A small one, but the name of the final Captain you fight before securing the Spider's old ketch in the "Salvage and Salvation" mission is literally "Keelhaal". A bit on-the-nose, don't you think? To further drive home the pirate puns, there's also SCUR-V (a servitor from Spider's Associates) and AYE-I (a pirate Heavy Shank).
• The post-completion banter between the Drifter, Spider, Mithrax and Eido in Ketchcrash is every bit as cartoony as you'd expect from a pirate-themed season.
  • Eido asks the Spider if he ever had any hatchlings, prompting the crime boss to burst in laughter.
  • The Drifter proposes repainting the Spider's Ketch with a snake motif. Neither Mithrax or the Ketch's owner are impressed.
    Mithrax: Absolutely not.
    Spider: Do not deface my Ketch!
• After completing the Week 2 quests, Spider offers the player a choice between 3 engrams. No matter which one you pick, it will decrypt into a pair of green titan legs, regardless of what class you're playing. The text makes it abundantly clear that Spider did it on purpose just to Troll The Guardian.
  • Jokes on him! Eido is now using the interference tech to prevent this sort of trolling from now on.
• The lore entry for Mechabre, the Festival of the Lost sniper rifle, involves two Guardians debating the merits of having a mech suit. The Titan thinks it would be awesome, while the Hunter argues that, his friend already being an Exo with the power of the Light, piloting a mech would be redundant. Their argument is interrupted by a loud crunch, and they turn to see their Warlock teammate, whom they were supposed to be covering, stomped flat by a Vex Minotaur. After an awkward silence, the Hunter concedes that yes, that did actually look like fun.
  • There's also a bit of subtle humor at the moment when the Hunter compares the Titan to the Vex, with the latter getting incredulous at the implication that he's just "a metal shell filled with gross electric milk." According to the lore of the Deep Stone Crypt and Clarity, that's pretty much what Exos are.
• The Mechabre itself qualifies. It's a sniper rifle themed after classic Mecha anime. Complete with sound effects straight out of Gundam.

Season of the Seraph

• Much of the humor for Season of the Seraph is derived from a fairly simple process. Step One: take three of the biggest egos in the Destiny franchise; Clovis Bray I, Mara Sov and Osiris. Step Two: shove them all into the same season as the primary supporting characters. Step Three: watch the Snark-to-Snark Combat unfold.
  • Osiris and Clovis Bray I, the two most Insufferable Geniuses of the franchise, meet the first time.
    Clovis Bray I: Who is this?
    Osiris: I am Osiris, Phoenix of the Dark Age, and scholar of the cosmos. I have no equal.
    Clovis Bray I: Cute.
    Osiris: (indignant) You impertinent son of a—
    Ana Bray: Told you.
  • After the first Moon Heist, Clovis will wax about how it was on Luna that he first encountered Clarity. Mara takes the opportunity to denounce Clovis for falling for the Witness' trap. Clovis has a uniquely insightful observation about Mara:
    Clovis: From your tone, I take it you've had a similar experience? Well, that doesn't surprise me. You seem the type to be attracted to power.
    Mara: No, it is power that is attracted to me.
  • As the season drags on, finishing a heist on Europa will cause Osiris to lament the slow process of removing submind data. Ana will remind Osiris that there is a lot of data to be removed, and was never intended to be moved in such a manner. Clovis will then interject that the Morning Star, the orbital station destroyed during the Deep Stone Crypt raid in Beyond Light, was actually capable of doing just that.
    Osiris: This process is painfully slow.
    Ana: Not everything is fast as transmat. We're moving a digital tonne of data that was never meant to be moved like this.
    Clovis: There was a faster way, but someone crashed my orbital station into a moon. This moon, in fact.
    Osiris: From what I'm told, your station was being uncooperative!
    • Even better is that it was Clovis who crashed the Morning Star in an effort to deny it to both the Guardians and the House of Salvation. Once again, Clovis blames others for his own choices.
• In Week Four, Clovis reluctantly allows the Guardians access to Braytech that allowed them to either survive security lasers or open sealed doors. Choosing the open doors tech and using glitches to get past lasers grants players access through a secured door on the Seraph Station tied to the 50 drones scattered throughout the Moon, Europa, the station and the Heist Battlegrounds. After going through a long jumping puzzle deep within the station, what do Guardians find upon reaching the end? A robotic dog that you can pet and earn secret triumphs from. The general consensus among the fandom was that it was Worth It.
• Week Four is also where Rasputin recovers enough of his code to communicate and warn the Guardians that Clovis plans to upload himself to the Warsat network and blow up the Traveler, which was Rasputin's original purpose. Ana has had enough of Clovis's crap and injects Rasputin's mind into the Exo Frame, booting Clovis back to his facilities on Europa. Thus Rasputin is added to the season's recurring cast for Heist Battlegrounds, and he's hilariously blunt in contrast to all the witty big brains (Osiris, Ana, Elsie and Mara) in the room.
  • One of the completion dialogues for Europa's Heist Battleground is Clovis's AI ominously lecturing the player on how they've doomed themselves by rejecting Clovis's help. Then Rasputin reveals that this is a pre-recorded message and that Clovis's AI is actually ignoring the player's latest incursion. Ergo, Clovis is so salty he won't even directly address us whenever we come back to his facility on Europa. Elsie lampshades this:
    Elsie: And he still felt the need to hold one last lecture. Typical.
  • Another bit of dialogue from Europa has Clovis angrily demand that Elsie or Ana speak to him. Rasputin then pipes up and tells him that he is no longer needed in a tone not too dissimilar to an HR Manager telling an employee they just got laid off. This causes Clovis to start going on a tirade, only for Rasputin to hang up on him just a few words in.
    Clovis Bray: Anastasia! Elizabeth! One of you answer me now!
    Rasputin: Clovis Bray. Your progeny have surpassed you. Your services are no longer required. Thank you for your understanding.
    Clovis Bray: Cease this insubordination at once-!
    Rasputin: Connection terminated. Submind extraction initiated. Guardian, I have prepared a flight path for your ship. Stand by.
  • Sometimes, Elsie will ask what it's like working with Osiris, and Ana will say Osiris is more talker than listener, too eager to push forward. Rasputin will interject and say that Osiris frequently ignores personal safety, the probability of personal injury increases by 40% when working with him.
    Elsie: I'm not sure if you've got enough of your code to be joking or not.
    Rasputin: I am not joking.
  • After continued recovery of Rasputin's data, he will be able to find enough references to NEFELE STRONGHOLD (the original name of Neomuna) to confirm that it exists. Osiris is delighted, because it means the information he got from Savathun is real, and, more importantly, he can see the look on Ikora's face when he tells her he was right. With this, Osiris is confident that they will prove it in time. Rasputin then informs Osiris of how much evidence there is.
    Rasputin: I have flagged 38,611 potential files for your viewing, should you wish to research this lead prior to flaunting it to Vanguard Rey.
    Osiris: I-I may not have THAT much time.
    Rasputin: Then I will prepare informative summaries.

Lightfall/Season of Defiance

• Caiatl's Vanguard report is mostly a depressing and disturbing account of how Calus was lying about his sympathetic qualities prior to the Midnight Coup back in Year 1, but in the middle of it all, the mood gets undercut by one giant reference to the "The Undertaker throws Mankind off Hell in a Cell and plunges 16 feet through an announcer's table" meme. Yes, really. And the best part? The Cabal language is Ulurunt, so the wrestler Ulurunth literally is the Cabal equivalent of Mankind.
  Patient Ghau'ul makes his move: leaps between whales, hurls Ulurunth off the top of her whale's control cage. She plunges sixteen meters and vanishes into the Denouncer's navel. The crowd roars. "By Acrius," the announcer screams, "she is in to the haft! She is stuck in the whale's belly button! He has killed her, he has won the bell!"
• This dialogue between Ghost and Rohan:

  Ghost (speaking to the Young Wolf): Are you handling extremely volatile energy? AGAIN?!
  Rohan:"Again"? How often does this happen?
  Ghost: Too often!

• While Nimbus and Caiatl prepare Neomuna's defenses and rallies their troops respectively before the final battle with Calus, Osiris and the Young Wolf go off to experiment and understand how Strand works... cue multiple instances of the Young Wolf being killed as they try to control Strand, often followed by Osiris and Ghost shaking their heads at each other.
• The Guardian meets up with Amanda Holliday after the first Defiant Battleground, though they're seemingly accosted by a surprise Shadow Legion soldier... only for it to have been a sneaky Crow, who ends up taking a Chaperone round to the chest courtesy of Holliday. Crow's only response when Glint brings him back to life?

  Crow: Ow.

  • Crow spends the next few seconds flirting with Holliday, taking the above moment in stride. Crosses over with Tearjerker, as Amanda's having none of it, evidently showing their relationship's still not fully mended.
    Ghost: Sorry. We thought you were Shadow Legion.
    Crow: (while looking at Amanda and smiling) Easy mistake. I'm just so beefy.
• The lore tab of the Vexcalibur exotic glaive has Asher stopping his conversion into a Vex by essentially shouting down the Vex Networx and barking commands at it as if he has authority over it. And it somehow works.
• Speaking of Asher, his attempts to grab our attention from within the Vex Network are nothing short of hilarious.
  • The partition mission sees a projection of him appear either facepalming or waving his arms.
  • The loretab for the Inside Line sparrow sees two boys named Fynn and Erich attempt to communicate, only for intermittent interference to happen. Said interference is actually morse code, and translates to "STILL ALIVE INSIDE NETWORK IDIOT KIDS."
  • Quinn comes across a weird Vex transmission protocol that for some reason has a log line that is just the word "Assistant" repeated over and over in 147 different languages.
• One of Nezarec's dialogues that you can get while doing missions? Him pulling the classic Look Behind You trick and then chuckling about it. You read that right; the "God of Pain" takes the time to effectively prank you. And yes, a lot of players end up falling for it.

  Nezarec: Do not look behind you. [Laughs darkly]

• Nezarec repeatedly speaks to the Guardians during the Root of Nightmares raid. When the team gets to the final boss fight and he breaks out of his crystal, the first thing he says is this:

  "Oh, a shame we can't entertain our one-sided conversations further!"

  • Yes, Nezarec lampshades our Guardians being almost completely silent.
• Nezarec also doesn't seem impressed with the Shadow Legion, and even bluntly tells you to "deal with that useless sack of meat" that is Zo'Aurc in the Macrocosm. It's weirdly hilarious how an otherwise fearsome and panic-inducing deity of suffering expresses how he's Surrounded by Idiots.

Season of the Deep

• The lore for Targeted Redaction has Osiris and Saint-14 muse that if Titan and Sloane were able to return, there might be hope for the other people lost on the missing planets (well, except Asher.) Then Saint mentions Brother Vance, and...
  Osiris: Who?
• One of the post-mission dialogues has the Drifter express interest in the suit of power armor Sloane found in Season of Arrivals. Sloane then reminds Drifter that it was fused with her, thus meaning that taking the thing off was... messy. Drifter then decides to pass on getting one.
• The simple fact that the Drifter, of all people, is managing to get stoic Determinator Sloane to lighten up and ease off a little, when her fellow Titans (namely Saint-14 and Saladin) have had no such luck. She even begrudgingly admits that she actually likes the Drifter's nickname for Ahsa.
• Drifter asking Sloane what it feels like to be partially Taken leads her to wonder why he hasn't tried to eat them if he's that curious about it. His response implies he tried that already, and that it wasn't very appetizing. Even funnier is that his Dawning treat is made using Taken Butter, implying that he's a Picky Eater with respect to the Taken.

Season of the Witch

• Savathun's Ghost, Immaru, is now a Voice with an Internet Connection, and the very first thing he does (during the opening cutscene) is call you "Glitter Bums".
• While Immaru does revel in the fact that Savathun has remained three steps ahead of us, Eris and Ikora make sure to remind Immaru that he is not in control of things and that he is not on his partner’s level.
  • In “Way of the Witch”, as Immaru leads the way to Savathun’s Spire, Eris briefly questions if it even exists, leading to this exchange.
    Immaru: Why lie, when the truth is so much more dangerous?
    Eris: You are not the Witch Queen.
    Ikora: And the Guardian is far more dangerous.
  • As you make the ascent up to the Sanctum of the Brood Queen, Eris reminds Immaru how things transpired back at the end of the “The Witch Queen”.
    Immaru: Spire's just up ahead. But we'll need more than some Lightless lackey's fancy eyes to see it.
    Eris: This is where the Witch Queen fell, and you fled for your life. Remember that.
    Ikora: We should focus.
    Immaru: That was a fluke. Your Guardians got lucky.
    Eris: Really? How many of your apostate Ghosts have seen the Guardian’s mercy?
    Immaru: Don’t you threaten me.
    Eris: I am not threatening you. I am telling you what the Guardian will do.
• Eris solemnly reacting to Savathun's messages to the Young Wolf when they first enter Savathun's Spire, and Immaru's rather matter-of-fact response to her;
  Eris Morn: Savathun's dire machinations echo through these halls. She whispers from the past, anticipating each outcome.
  Immaru: She left you some recordings. It ain't that deep.
  • Later, when Eris begins the ritual to become a Hive herself, we get this little number:
    Eris: We serve our interests, not Savathun’s.
    Immaru: Heh. She’s outmaneuvered you again.
    (The Guardian grabs Immaru by his eye, making him shudder)
    Immaru: You need me!
    Eris: We need your silence.
• "Mission: Invoke" has Immaru deliver some Black Comedy by calling Eris a "discount Hive God".
  • Likewise, one of Savathun's recordings in this mission show her assessment of her enemies in her attempts to share her methods with them:
    Savathun (recorded): They love omelets, but they hate breaking eggs.
• In a moment that crosses between funny and heartwarming, Drifter refers to Eris' ordeal as a 'wild ride'. Eris agrees.
• In a Black Comedy sense, there’s the lore piece “Proportionality”, which takes place immediately after “A Deal’s A Deal”. Right after Savathun leaves her Spire, currently weakened after being resurrected, she’s ambushed out of nowhere and killed once more by Saint-14. Clearly, he hasn’t forgotten what she’s done, namely possessing his lover Osiris for over a year and trapping him in a coma. So, he’s finally taking this opportunity to vent his anger…by repeatedly killing Savathun over and over and having Immaru continually revive her, just like her siblings had done over the millenia to test their strength. Laser-Guided Karma at its finest. For all her boasts to Eris and Ikora, as much as she’d hate to admit it, Savathun’s game is finished.

Season of the Wish

• While Warlord's Ruin is mostly serious, there is a moment where Crow reads aloud the identity of the eponymous Warlord - Naeem (pronounced exactly like "name"). It's surprisingly cute how he stumbles over it at first, clearly baffled at how it's spelled and pronounced.
• In week 4, Crow says he's figured out a way to track down the eggs stolen by the Vex, and has traced one to the Black Garden, which leads to this line.
  Crow: All we need is the head of a Vex Gate Lord. [Beat] Kidding.

The Final Shape

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