Characters / Dice Funk Season 1 Stoneroot

Characters of Stoneroot, season 1 of Dice Funk.

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Season 1 Characters (Stoneroot)

Player Characters

Anne

Anne and Marshmallow by Becky C

Played By: Austin Yorski

"Hi, I'm Anne!"

A dimwitted cleric of Avandra, goddess of travel, luck, trade, and travel. Loves cuddling animals.

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• Bond Creatures: Avandra blesses her cleric with Marshmallow the dire ferret.
• CatchPhrase: "Hi, I'm Anne!"
• Church Militant: Anne sees herself as this to the church of Avandra, although it is unclear if she is actually carrying out the will of the faith, or just overly eager and violent.
• Cloud Cuckoo Lander
• Combat Pragmatist: Anne can hold her own in a fight, but once she runs out of spells, she sees no shame in running for the hills.
• Critical Failure: Anne only exists because of a mathematically improbable triple (!) botch during character creation, which left her with a 3 in Intelligence. As a result, she is literally dumber than a severed zombie hand, in game-terms.
• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Acts like a little child, but can do surprisingly powerful or violent things.
  Austin: Anne punches Rinaldo in the balls.
  Austin: Anne punches Gillet in the balls.
• The Ditz: Adorably so. She has a lot of ability as a cleric, but her holy item is a teddy bear and she went to pet Jayne's dire wolf form after said wolf had mercilessly slaughtered a group of attackers and had one of their arms hanging out her mouth.
  • The hosts occasionally indulge in a game they call "Is it smarter than Anne?" (spoiler: It's nearly always smarter).
• Expy: Anne was originally based on Joseph Joestar from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, but her low intelligence score keeps her from being a carbon copy.
• Fatal Flaw: Her abysmal intelligence score makes every problem the party faces infinitely worse.
• Genius Ditz: Is quite a powerful cleric and can understand a lot of things, however her ditzy side stops her from communicating this to the rest of the team.
• Heroes Love Dogs: Loves to cuddle Jayne in her Dire Wolf form.
  Austin: Can I roll to boop the snoot?
  Johnny: Yeah, that snoot has been booped.
• Heroic BSoD: Anne is usually pretty unflappable, since she can't actually analyze her circumstances, but she is genuinely perturbed after Rinaldo tells her he killed Jane.
• Keet: And how!
• Loyal Animal Companion: Austin reveals that he multi-classed Anne into a Ranger specifically so he could gain a dire ferret.
• Manchild: Woman Child: To the point where Austin had to clarify on Twitter that Anne is an adult.
• The Medic: In addition to healing magic, Anne is proficient in medicine and tries to help the injured quarry workers in The Church with her training.
• My Hovercraft Is Full of Eels: Can speak a number of different languages, however her intelligence (or lack of) tends to get in the way.
  Austin: She has a hard time remembering what the Abyssal word for 'Yes' is, so she says "Verily?"
• The Nicknamer: Anne gets creative with her appellations for a monk named Milo, including "Musclebro Hardbody" and "Senator Suckshit."
• No Indoor Voice
• Non Sequitur: The master.
• Phrase Catcher:
  Austin: No one can kill Anne!
• Psychopathic Man Child: Is surprisingly dark for someone so adorable.
  Austin: (On using Thaumaturgy) Anne is going to make her eyes blood red, as if they had been scooped out and both of her sockets filled with blood, and she's going to stare at him.
  Austin: She is also going to make her voice boom up to three times as far as normal and she's going to yell, in Abyssal, the language of demons, "Hi! I'm Anne!"
• Pyromaniac: Likes to set things on fire. Preferably green fire.
  Austin: [in an innocent voice] I just want to set things on fire...
• Super-Empowering: Can bless people with bits of her power (also likes to do this to Rinaldo by touching his butt).
• Troll: Turning things purple is her favorite method of trolling.
• White Mage: As the party's cleric, Anne is responsible for most of the healing.

Jayne

Jayne the human druid by Becky C

Played By: Crimson Stone

"Wait, I'm the drunk of the party?!"

Jayne is a druid mage, who ran away from a scam sect built by her family.

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• Action Girl: She's largely the muscle of the group due to her ability to morph into a direwolf.
• Animorphism: Voluntary Shapeshifting-style. She has transformed into a dire wolf, horse, and cat.
• Cloud Cuckoo Landers Minder: Especially when it comes to Anne.
• Deader than Dead: Jayne makes a ghost appearance, only for her soul to be slowly faded out of existence by Gorfinax.
• Defector from Decadence: Jayne ran away from her corrupt family of clerics and their hypocritical obsession with material gain.
• Dire Beast: Can turn into a dire wolf at will, often with bloody consequences.
• Druid: Jayne is a Circle Of The Moon Druid, which makes her a formidable shapeshifter.
• Faking the Dead: Jayne was caught attempting to flee the druid sect, but fell off a cliff into a river in the pursuit. Her family assumed her dead, which Jayne was perfectly content with. So much so that she would do anything to keep them from finding out the truth.
• False Friend / Finding Judas: Turned out to be a traitor to Anne and Rinaldo and tried to sell Rinaldo to a brothel.
• Healing Hands: Tries to do a medicine check on the mayor after Anne punches him in the balls.
• Ice Queen: Jayne's demeanor is guarded at best, and at worst deeply hostile to her companions.
• Lady Drunk: Her first action in the campaign was to buy rounds for an entire bar and to get tipsy. Crimson notes that she's actually a teetotaler in real life.
• Only Sane Man: Has to jump in often to stop Anne and Rinaldo from getting themselves into even deeper trouble than normal. This is a big part of why she betrays them.
• Pet the Dog: Jayne can be quite cuddly with Anne from time to time, and even decides to exclude Anne from her plan to betray the other player characters, even if it puts her anonymity at risk.
• Runaway Fiancé: Jayne had been in an arranged marriage with a wealthy member of a cleric family, and wished to escape this.
• Will Not Tell a Lie: Hates telling lies, even if it is a necessity, and will then disclose the truth when it is safe to do so.
• Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: She collaborates with the others up until episode 19 but she really, deeply loathes Rinaldo. This is possibly due to his charlatan nature and mercenary approach to life, as Jayne came to hate these aspects of her own family.
• Voluntary Shapeshifting: With an Animorphism limitation into a dire wolf, horse, and cat.
• You Can't Go Home Again: She left her circle because they'd turned into greedy crooks, and her parents planned to marry her off to the most profitable suitor.
• Your Head A-Splode / Off with His Head!: How she dies, delivered by Rinaldo with a morningstar, during his No-Holds-Barred Beatdown.

Allana (spoiler character)

Credit to Oxeriana

Played By: Crimson Stone

Anne: I'm Anne!
Allana: I'm sure you are.

A half elf rogue who replaced Jayne after her... untimely death.

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• Action Survivor: Allana isn't exactly blessed in the physical prowess department, so to start out with, she avoids attacking anyone head on and clings on for dear life, scare out of her mind through every fight.
• Claustrophobia: Reversed. Allana is actually comforted by small spaces, and likes to hide herself in them.
• Deadpan Snarker: This is hardly notable in this campaign, but one of the first bits of dialogue from her stands out.
  Rinaldo: Hi. I'm bleeding to death.
  Allana: I bet you say that to all the pretty girls.
• Didn't Think This Through: Sure, it's probably safe to start banging evil artifacts together, Allana.
• Fatal Flaw: Her impulsiveness gets her involved with the party, as well as ultimately deciding their fate.
• Loyal Animal Companion: Allana has a mouse, creatively named Squeak.
• The Oldest Profession: A prostitute who joins the team after they set fire to her red light house.
• Mike Nelson Destroyerof Worlds: In the finale, she stabs the Orb with the Fang, summoning Gorfinax, which is what they'd spent the entire campaign trying to avoid.
• Street Urchin: Her generic 5th edition background is called this.
• A Tragedy of Impulsiveness: Austin points this out as Allanas fatal flaw.
• Unproblematic Prostitution: Well, unproblematic for her. She defends her choice of living to Rinaldo as one she likes. However, given Rinaldo at that point has nearly been sold into sexual slavery, he would likely not consider the institution of sex work to be unproblematic.

Rinaldo

Rinaldo the human fighter by Wheezing Shark

Played By: Leon Thomas

"No one can kill Rinaldo!"

Rinaldo is a human fighter, defined by his excellent stats yet inordinately poor luck.

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• Bad Liar: Rinaldo has a sky-high Charisma score, yet always seems to fail every check related to lying. This culminates in a lie so bad that the episode was entitled "Lie Hard."
• Boring, but Practical: As a fighter, Rinaldo just hits things. Leon laments this simplicity at first, but changes his tune once he realizes how complicated spellcasting classes are.
• Catchphrase: "No one can kill Rinaldo!"
• Charm Person: Has the ability to charm anyone with a wink. He even reduced a gate guard into questioning his own sexuality.
• Con Man: Rinaldo is a charlatan. This gives him a disguise and false identity, not that it helps much.
• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Leon rolls very badly, in spite of Rinaldo's excellent stats. This leads to Jayne thinking of him as incompetent, and thus, when she sells him she commits the mistake of gloating, and gets a look at what he can really do.
• Dual Wielding: Rinaldo dual wields morningstars. While this would normally be illegal in 5th Edition D&D without the Dual Wielding Feat, Leon uses the stats of a weaker weapon to allow for it.
• Dumb Muscle: As the party's figher, this is Rinaldo's role, although his frequently poor dice rolls make it easy to forget.
• Enemies List: It turns out that he was making one, and Anne was on it.
• Expy: Of Zorro, the Gay Blade.
• Fatal Flaw: Rinaldo always looks out for himself, even when a little self-sacrifice would be immensely helpful.
• Handsome Lech: When he is not using his charm, he is not the most useful character on the team.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Rinaldo is a plonker, but in Leon's words, he's not an asshole and has a code to his self serving ways. He also sympathizes with ill fated couples and tends to want to help them.
• Mark of Shame: Anne scars his face with her hand-print in punishment for killing Jayne.
• Star-Crossed Lovers: Rinaldo had an affair with the governor's son back in Acamoros, and was almost killed for it. The son saved him, however, by threatening suicide if they went through with it, and thus Rinaldo was only exiled.
• Took a Level in Badass: An odd example since there's no mechanical progression for him aside from occasional level ups but after Jayne betrays him Leon's luck turns around big time and he manages to pull of several difficult dice rolls that would be unthinkable considering his previous luck.
• Underestimating Badassery:
  Austin: It's going to come as a surprise to all our listeners who aren't reading the character sheets I've put up on my Patreon because wow, Rinaldo's kind of a badass.

Johnny (The DM)

Played By: Johnny Maloney

• Best Served Cold: Facetiously declares during the Lorelei campaign that he's been waiting for Austin to give extended flavour text so he could either interrupt or ignore it, to get back at his and Leon's shenanigans.
• Cloud Cuckoo Lander: For anyone who follows Word Funk, this should not be remotely surprising.
• Creepy Awesome: Seems to take a peculiar delight in describing the effects of Gorfinax's slow awakening.
• Dream Sequence: Makes a lot of use of these to guide the player characters along the way, and update them on offstage events.
• The Faceless: Being the DM, he doesn't have a character to put a face to.
• Pungeon Master: As it is Johnny, these come quite often.

Major Non Player Characters

Lord Earlin

• The Heavy: Lord Earlin sending his son away to the Pickman Academy is the whole reason "Emma" sends the heroes on the search for Julick.
• Hero with Bad Publicity: The heroes believe him to be a worshipper of Gorfinax, when it's revealed he was actually working to prevent his rise to power.
• Idle Rich: The people of Stoneroot eventually accuse him of this once the violence and misery becomes too much.
• Offing the Offspring: The heroes come to suspect he's offering his own sons as sacrifices to Gorfinax, but it turns out the "sons" are more like clones of himself, and the sacrifices take their future potential rather than their lives.
• Purpose-Driven Immortality: Earlin has spent all six hundred years of his life trying to end Gorfinax.
• Really 700 Years Old: Six hundred, actually. He has no idea why, but suspects his existence might have been linked to Gorfinax's when he first encountered it underground.
• Red Herring: We're lead to believe Earlin is involved in evil cult shenanigans when Lonnegan was the fanatic all along.
• Truly Single Parent: He produced Julick on his own, for lack of a better term. He's the last of many sons that serve as clones.

Lonnegan

art by Becky C

The Headmaster of the Pikman Academy

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• Big Bad Ensemble: he's one half of it. His attempt to harness Gorfinax's power is one of the biggest problems faced in the season.
• Evil Teacher: Well, as far as he can be considered a teacher, considering what the Pickman Academy turns out to be.
• Humanoid Abomination: Becomes this after fusing with the "Meatwheel".
• Smug Snake: Lonnegan doesn't even attempt to conceal his contempt for the party.

AC

A mysterious figure working to remove Lord Earlin from power. She's actually Phiro, princess of Akamoros, who's trying to conquer Stoneroot for her kingdom

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• Ambiguous Gender: It's initially unclear of they're a woman or man, we later learn that she's a woman.
• Big Bad Ensemble: Forms half of it. Her invasion of Stoneroot is a huge driver of the plot.
• The Chessmaster: She's shown to be an excellent planner, taking advantage of the various happenings in Stoneroot to turn the people to her side against Earlin.
• Not-So-Well-Intentioned Extremist: She claims to want to help the people of Stoneroot, but the first step of her plan is to bomb the city Quarry and she later sets a building on fire, only putting it out to cover up her acquisition of weapons. Turns out she's actually an invading foreigner.