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Caller: Harmony I love you! Silverpony, you my girl! Derpykins, you my nigga! You my nigga-
Ghost: Stupid fruitbowl, GEDDIMOFF!
True Capitalist Radio, 8/02/11

"LOSCHLIEBEN, SCHLIEBEN, SCHLOGGIN, VOLKSWAGON ON MY SCHLONGHEADEN!"

"If the world is dark and your friends seem fickle, just grab some poop and give it a tickle!"
- wise words from Senator Pooptickler

"Congratulations Ghost, you're the new Rainbow Dash! AW YEAH BEST DAY EVER"
- Tango Whiskey

Tub Guy "Ghost, let's have a three way with Rick Perry. Oh my!"
Ghost: "Are you in the tub?!"
Tub Guy: "There's a distinct possibility, my good sir!"
Ghost: "Ah Jesus Christ, geddemoff- I mean, HE'S CALLING ME FROM THE TUB, GOOD GOD!"
- True Capitalist Radio

Ghost: "Is this you calling me from the tub again?!"
Tub Guy: "When the hell do I not call you from the tub, my good sir?"
- True Capitalist Radio

"Let's see, we got, uh... 'ImDeflectingPearlsHere'- OH SCREW YOU!"
- True Capitalist Radio, twitter shoutouts

"POOPTICKLER?! WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS POOP TICKLER?!"
—Ghost's reaction to the Pooptickler family

Caller: Ghost, I came here cuz of the trolls, you're actually pretty funny.[?]
Ghost: Well, of course, cuz I bring da lulz better than anybody THROUGHOUT THE WORLD!!
— Radio Graffiti, July 13th, 2011

"Wake up in the morning next to Alex Jonesey
Ghost waddles down the stairs and watches My Little Pony."
- Opening lines of the Tik Tok parody played on December 16th, 2011

Caller (in nerdy voice): "Um, hi, so, which candidate should I vote for if i want to maximize my chances of being able to legally download hardcore tentacle hentai?"
Ghost: How about you kill yourself?
- Radio Graffiti, May 4, 2012

"This is Bathhouse Thursday...
You're fruitin' it up 'cuz you're gay
And you're takin' it in the pooper!"
- Ghost's own take on Depeche Mode's "World in My Eyes."

Caller: "Hello?"
Ghost: "Goodbye."
- A frequent conversation with unprepared callers on the show.

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