Webcomic / cool and new web comic

If you're wondering why she looks so fed up, she was just offered sex and a kidney.

"i'm just baffled by how good the shitty writing is behind this dumb piece of garbage. i wish my brain had the capacity for making this trash"

— RJ Lake, Homestuck musician

cool and new web comic is a fancomic that can be accurately described as Homestuck meets Dolan, written by someone under the screen name "o". It is a parody of Homestuck where everything, save for a few characters, is very crudely made, to the likes of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, whose characters are also featured in the comic. It began April 10, 2016, and soon became a cult classic among the fandom, particularly the Homestuck subreddit.

CANWC has become famous for not only its humor, but also the melding of in-character writing of the few sane characters with the ridiculously crude bulk of the cast, along with the existence of a serious plotline amidst silly nonsense. The comic has even spawned an ongoing series of music albums made by an official music team. As with many Homestuck-inspired webcomics, it utilizes reader-submitted commands to advance the story. These commands can be submitted on the Omegaupdate Forums.

There's also a Let's Read series by The Jaceboat Network, as well as a But I Voice Everything series that covers a bit more of the comic by Rosw Lalondw. In addition, there are two Hiveswap parodies created by the official music team called the house swich places and the house swich places: act 2st.

o also has published another fanventure titled "This Aventure Is My Very Own Intillectual Property", or TAIMVOIP for short. While TAIMVOIP is not set in the universe of CANWC, there are indicators throughout the comic implying a connection between the two stories.

you see tropes. theres probably some other things also:

• Adaptational Badass: In Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, the main characters were really just poorly drawn humans who never really performed any great feats of badassery. In CANWC however, Hecka Jef is a badass as well as a time-traveler. And Germy? He's wearing both of the queen's rings.
• Adaptational Heroism: Downplayed Trope. Jack Noir isn’t a hero, persay, but his canon counterpart is an Omnicidal Maniac who kills just to sate his own Ax-Crazy desires. Here, while still very much a Token Evil Teammate, he’s actually willing to cooperate with Rose, and seems more intent on actually ruling Derse than going on a rampage.
• Adaptational Villainy: Lots.
  • Jhon Ebgret is a Sociopathic Hero who is only really concerned with money and his own sexual desires.
  • Spdaes Sleck is way more Ax-Crazy than his Homestuck counterpart, who was probably most heroic among all of Jack Noir's Alternate Universe counterparts. (Which isn't saying much.)
  • Of all people, Rose Lalonde turns out to be this. Over the course of the comic, she slowly starts being Driven to Madness by everyone's shitty actions, culminating in her killing Swet Mom and horribly maiming Hecka Jef, who she had once considered an ally of some sort. While Homestuck's Rose may have not been a pillar of Incorruptible Pure Pureness, she was never that crazy.
• Adaptational Wimp: Dave in canon was a Knight of Time who knew how to properly fight before playing SBURB. Here, Dabe is a perpetually naked crybaby who is subservient to Jhon.
• Affectionate Parody: Yep.
• An Arm and a Leg:
  • Jhon slices off his father's hand when he goes to get the mail.
  • Rose ends up blasting Hecka's arm clean off his body during Verticle Movements.
  • Kraket also cuts off his own foot to escape Petpeta's handcuffs.
• And Now for Someone Completely Different:
  • Played with. The story shifts to the trolls in its equivalent of Act 5 Act 1, but the narrator constantly complains about how they had to ditch the main storyline after the insanity that was S! VERTICLE MOVEMENTS.
  • Later invoked: the narrator got sick of Gametez's clown antics and left Final Agent in charge of narrating the next segment.
• Arc Number: 413 as usual, though the date loses its significance since Jhon's birthday is never stated and the comic started on April 10th. Lampshaded by the narrator, who keeps making "geddit?" comments whenever it and other numbers from Homestuck are brought up.
• Arc Symbol: The letter "o".
• The Artifact: Animaker was used in the first couple of animations before o got a new animation program, but the Animaker logo continued to stick in the corner for Rule of Funny. At least until Roze destroys it in Verticle Movements.
• Art Evolution: As the comic goes on, the "real" characters are drawn fairly well with regards to their actual appearance, and their quality improves each time they're shown.
• Ascended Meme: Vrasky is depicted with numerous double chins as the story goes on. This is a nod to the "Fat Vrasky" meme, which in of itself is a reference to the "Fat Vriska/Feferi" meme.
• Assimilation Plot: Somehow Played for Laughs and Played for Drama simultaneously when Petpeta turns Kraket into a furry.
  Kraket: IM SORRY
  Kraket: I CANT HOLD IT ANY MORE
  Kraket: IM GONNA OWO
  Gametez: nO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Audience Participation: As is expected from a parody of Homestuck, readers suggest what happens next.
• Bait-and-Switch :
  • After Jack runs over Rose's mom with a Dersite shuttle, the two draw their weapons and begin to Strife... only for Rose's Strife options to suddenly turn gray and the music to stop. They then look at each other, put down their weapons, and decide to form a truce.
  • FreshWhyteGermysprit notes how funny it is that the Blapck Quen can't find the ring of orbs twofold... because they don't know where it is either.
  • At the end of Act 4, Rubs Juice is about to put on the queen's ring. Suddenly, Germysprit enters the room, steals the ring, and kills the black queen taking hers as well. This leads to a massive battle between Rose and Hecka's forces.
  • An epic battle is set up between Kraket and Petpeta. Kraket wins with the help of Jagk killing her instantly.
• Beware the Silly Ones: One of the main things about this comic is that despite the corrupted characters being incredibly infantile in nature, their Blue-and-Orange Morality combined with their ability to do things that are Beyond the Impossible can make them incredibly dangerous.
  • The Midight Crewd, despite being way stupider compared to the regular Midnight Crew, manage to kill off the Felt faster than their Homestuck counterparts ever did. They even manage to kill off Clover!
• Beyond the Impossible:
  • Instead of accepting that she's stuck in the Incipisphere, WQ pushes on her momentum bar to give herself momentum, filling it and propelling her to LODAR.
  • Femorafreack completely stops LODAR from orbiting around Skaia by handcuffing it.
  • Kraket takes a big step (read: extends his leg) all the way to Petpeta's hive, a good ways across the continent from his own.
• Birthday Beginning: Just like Homestuck, the story starts on John's—or in this case, Jhon's—birthday.
• Bloody Horror: Jhon cuts off his father's hand at one point.
• Blue-and-Orange Morality: Frequently done with the corrupted characters. Hecka wants revenge because John killed Swet Bro, but sees no issue with Borp mutilating the Biig Man.
• Body Horror: Jhon displays the ability to tear open his own chest and take out a kidney without being in pain or becoming incapacitated in any way.
• Blank White Void: Rose/Roze’s planet.
• Breaking the Fourth Wall: This page has G0dhead Aradead address the reader by their MS Paint Fan Adventures account name. If the reader isn't logged in to MSPFA, Aradead addresses them as 'the real reader'.
• Breakout Character: Fresh Jimmy starts out as a joke character, but later returns to take over the entire character selection screen, have his own flash, and get prototyped into Germysprit along with the Whyte Quen.
• Brick Joke:
  • Early on in the story, Rose contacts Jaed, hoping what happened to John hasn't happened to her, and tells her to type "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog." About three hundred pages later, Jaed orders one Prospitian (who's dressed like a fox) to jump over another Prositian (who's dressed like a dog), because Rose asked her to.
  • The first command Jack receives after his proper introduction is to stab his knife with his other knife. Jack declines, stating he would never hurt a knife. During the intermission, Spdaes Sleck receives the same command, and unlike Jack, happily obliges.
  • When given the prompt to name the troll's planet, the narrator half-assedly calls it "Harold". In several instances, the planet is referred to by this name as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
    Vrasky: Y8UR PUN8SHMANT IS.....
    Vrasky: TO STAIR AT THE SON.
    Terexi: WH1CH SON? YOU H4V3 SO M4NY......
    Vrasky: NOT MY S8N NUMBNUTS
    Vrasky: HAROLDS SON .
  • When Fresh Whyte Germysprite hands a pair of non-ironic red sunglasses to Dabe, he knocks the sunglasses out of their hands. The sunglasses continue to fly through the Median until they land on Jhon's face in Verticle Movements.
• Chekhov's Gun: Early on after speaking with Vrasky for the first time and accidentally calling her "daddy", Jhon is embarrassed because daddies aren't supposed to have their own daddies. This information ends up coming back in Act 5 when Daddy Vrasky kills Aradead for trying to be Sollecks' daddy. And later, Sollecks is able to call Daddy Vrasky out for having her own daddy (Final Agent) and finally turn the other trolls against her.
• Chew Bubblegum: Inverted in a sense by Spdaes Sleck. He's told to kick ass and chew bubblegum, but can't find any ass to kick.
• Dada Comics: Starts off like this, but once "sane" characters appear, a much more serious storyline starts forming.
• Death as Comedy:
  • Jhon kills Swet Bro by throwing a pickaxe out of his window. The comedy comes in when he quickly but softly falls to the ground.
  • A lot of characters die from being crushed by Dersite shuttles.
  • ''you easyily win the fight with the help of jagk killing her instnantly''
• Deconstruction:
  • Of "shitpost"-type stories. The corrupted characters are all infantile and insanely promiscuous (with some of them being outright sociopaths) with a twisted sense of morality. The sane characters are strangers in a strange land who don't follow the same logical paths that the other characters do, which causes them to be regarded as weird by the corrupted characters.
  • The Only Sane Man trope is deconstructed with Rose. She isn't like the corrupted characters and remembers a life where John and her friends were normal and understandable, and the fact that she views herself as logical and sane compared to everyone else causes her to slowly but surely dehumanize corrupted characters. This causes her to ignore Hecka Jef, who has a point when he says Jhon is dangerous. This all culminates in Rose slowly going off the deep end and maiming Hecka while taking the life of Swet Momi, while thoroughly convinced she can return Jhon to his old self despite overwhelming evidence that he was always corrupted to begin with.
• The Dog Bites Back: In JUDGEMANT [S], Kraket and the other trolls finally have had enough of Vrasky's abuse and fight back against her.
• Early-Installment Weirdness:
  • The first few acts have fan-given commands written with perfect grammar and spelling before fans "caught on" to the joke and started giving corrupted characters similarly corrupted commands.
• Easter Egg:
  • In-universe: putting a copy of SBURB upside-down in the disc reader allows you to play RollerCoaster Tycoon. It later turns out that it's not so much an Easter Egg as an alternate SBURB game mode, and has a different set of rules and requirements to get to the ultimate goal.
  • In the Act 4 walk-around, you can press alt-ctrl-t to summon Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite to give Jhon a kiss.
• Evolving Title Screen: The custom borders change depending on what's currently going on in the plot.
• Even Evil Has Standards: Stitch and Crowbar are disgusted by Sleck eviscerating (and later, wearing) Itchy, noting that they thought Sleck had some standards.
• Exact Words:
  • Jack Noir tells his agents to "take care of" Dabe, send Dadd "to a better place", and put Jaed "to rest", which they all take literally. In general, corrupted characters have a difficult time understanding euphemism.
  • Jaed tells beq to "bork". She gets mad when he says "arf", "bork yiff" and "woof".
• Flanderization: Corrupted characters are shown as the exaggerated version of their original counterparts with Daddy Vrasky being the biggest example by taking the worst traits of Vriska (such as her Glory Hound tendencies) and cranking them up to eleven.
• Foe Romance Subtext:
  • Kraket and Hecka get a bit of Ship Tease via their mutual enmity for one another.
  • And of course, there's the time the MSP(F)A Reader imagined Doc Scratch and Final Agent kissing.
• Foreshadowing:
  • When a command is entered for Beq to time travel, the narration chides the reader for thinking it’s a "time doge", foreshadowing the appearance of Last Guardians, a temporal counterpart to first guardians.
  • Possibly unintentional: Hecka Jef asks Jaed where Whyte Quen is, stating that she was "Germy in stead of furry" (Jaed had become queen of Prospit and was making everyone wear ears and tails). In coalle[s]ce, WQ and Fresh Jimmy are thrown into Germysprite, tier two prototyping him and literally making Whyte Quen Germy.
  • A more intentional example occurs when Hecka finds a group of miniature alternate versions of him. Later on in Verticle Movements, we find exactly where those miniature clones came from.
  • After realizing that Jack's knife has become just as shitty as everything else, the narrator states that he couldn't even eviscerate a small child with the thing. Cut to the intermission, and Sleck uses the knife to cut open Itchy- and actually does a pretty good job with it.
  • Lampshaded with the Final Agent. He gives you some cryptic hints about Doc Scratch not being Harold's true first guardian, and then tells you that you can "theorize about that or whatever".
• From Nobody to Nightmare:
  • AR goes grimdark and becomes one with the Horrorterrors.
  • Germy goes from being an in-universe Token Minority to sharing a sprite with the Whyte Quen and wearing both rings which are prototyped with the leader of the horrorterrors.
  • The Biig Man goes from one-shot character to a Billards Maniak hopped up on juju.
• Girl on Girl Is Hot: o seems to think so, as a lot of the Rose/Kanaya conversations have o hoping they become "lesbains". Parodied and subverted with Papaya, as her lesbianism is Fan Disservice incarnate.
• Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Inverted and zig-zagged with the corrupted characters. Their harshest swears are the ones we'd consider mild (heck is a favorite), and they always make sure to asterisk a letter out when they come up. However, they are capable of saying things like "beefucker" that aren't apparently considered harsh in-universe, yet "hell" is still a bad word to them.
  Jhon: g*sh fucking d*ng it.
• Homage Derailment: Dadd causes the ectobiology that creates the player characters in place of John in the uncorrupted timeline. o, the narrator, expects him to reenact [S] John: Reunite with your loving wife and daughter. (itself a parody of the end of Con Air) with the babies, but Dadd's unresponsiveness and lack of knowledge of Con Air frustrates o instead.
• I Resemble That Remark!: When Rose mentally goes over Hecka Jef's claim that she's the sociopathic one, she casually thinks that it's not hard to have a Lack of Empathy for people she doesn't consider to be real and it would just be easier if they weren't so stupid.
• Insistent Terminology: Though many words are wildly misspelled, almost all proper nouns are misspelled in the same consistent way, such as the Medium always being referred to as the Median. Oddly enough, Sburb is never referred to with a consistent proper noun.
• Intentional Engrish for Funny: How the comic's shitty characters are written, and by extension, the narrator when narrating said shitty characters.
• Meaningful Background Event: In the flash FL1P, Terexi is seen stealing some fantroll's cereal, and then spills it on the ground. Later on, we discover Kobobo Obobob snuck into the session and is trying to kill Terexi because she spilt his cereal.
• Moral Myopia: From Hecka Jef's perspective, Rose is the jerk for trying to keep Jhon alive even though he murdered Swet Bro. This is before we learn from a flashback that he and Swet Bro allowed the Biig Man to get injured and turned insane by Borb because they were going to miss a plane.
• My God, What Have I Done?: Played for Laughs; Femorafreack tries to prototype himself into Germysprite to gain his flying powers so he can fly to LOLAF to arrest Jhon. Germysprite tells him he can't because he doesn't have a warrant; Femorafreack realizes he's right, then proceeds to look at his hands while saying "whom have i become ?"
• Mythology Gag: A lot of incidental references to content outside of Homestuck canon are smattered here and there, such as Terexi having weasels under her desk, G0dhead Aradead's name and appearance, Professor Honeybee's cameo and Die owning chickens.
• Naked People Are Funny:
  • Jhon orders Dabe to stand in a corner with no clothes on (except his shades). Dabe then spends of up to the end of Act 4 completely naked, waiting for Jhon to give him permission to re-dress (even when clothes fall down by him, he refuses to put them on). By the end of Act 4, he's finally reunited with a Boss of Wheels-Jhon, who forces him in to a bee suit. Dabe finds the bee suit to be even more humiliating than going around naked.
  • Also parodied: when Dabe gets his glasses stolen while naked, he notes how naked he feels without his glasses.
• Ninja Prop: Hecka uses the Animaker logo to kill an Ogre at the end of this flash.
• Noodle Incident: According to Femorafreak, Jhon has apparently built roller coasters without a permit before.
• Not-So-Harmless Villain: Just like everyone else, the “Blapck Quen” is corrupted and stupid, however she’s also prototyped with a Horrorterror, and averts Being an Orcus on His Throne by actually taking the oppurtunity to attack “Prostit” personally.
• Off the Rails: There is an internally consistent plot among the scribbles and jokes, but it's nothing like the one of Homestuck. The gag about Jhon killing Swet Bro ends up forming a greater story about Hecka Jef trying to avenge him, eventually leading in to a borderline war between his side and Rose's side as of Act 4.
• Only Sane Man:
  • Rose Lalonde, Jack Noir, and Kanaya Maryam. They act as if everything turned horrible a short while ago, and that things were normal before then. None of the corrupted characters have any memories of this, though. This is a deconstructed example, as Rose outright seeks to figure out just why everything around her is so shitty and strives to fix it. Hecka Jef is also remarkably coherent despite being one of the "shitty" characters.
  • Inverted with the Felt, as barring Snowman, every single one is normal.
• Played for Drama: The fact that existence itself seems to have been turned into pure shit is taken very seriously by the few unaffected characters, who are distressed and disturbed by it.
• Police Are Useless: There's blood all over the floor, Jhon is eating a cake with Swet Bro's body parts, and we get this exchange:
  JHON: theyre is no murder here, so pleas move alogn
  FEMORAFREAK: ok
  • He does attempt to arrest Jhon (and shoots at him when he escapes), but on the grounds of unauthorized rollercoaster construction. Much later, he finds out about Swet Bro's murder, and ends up joining Hecka Jef's team to stop Jhon in the name of justice.
• President Evil: Barack Obana manages to get elected President of LODAD half an hour after he was born, becoming its Denizen. He immediately ruins the economy.
• Pronoun Trouble: When Fresh Whyte Germysprit faces off against the Blapck Quen, they momentarily get confused about their gender due to being a hybrid of two men and a woman.
• Properly Paranoid: AR didn't want to capture WQ because he was scared of the Horrorterrors around her. Once he gets close to her, the Horrorterrors start invading his ship.
• Race Lift: Parodied when Germy becomes Hecka Jef's sprite, and Femorafreack realizes he's been "redwashed".
• Running Gag:
  • The "Dialoglog" boxes usually say something different on them. Sometimes, they'll be jokes about finding the next, or warnings not to click because it's "boring." Other times, the narrator will be asleep, and the boxes will just read "zzz" when closed or opened.
  • Characters calling their crushes "daddies."
  • Act 3 Act 1 is presented entirely in the form of one of the "interactive pictures" seen in the tail end of Act 5 and throughout Act 6, where the reader can click on multiple parts of the image to see events from different POV's... except, it's supposed to. The picture itself isn't interactive and the events are told through a chronologically "linear" fashion determined by poll, with the narrator asking each time if the picture can be clicked on. By the time the narrator gives up, the image is clickable.
  • Throughout Act 5, Eridumb continuously asks everyone to be his daddy.
  • "Nothing important" (read:a living person) being Bound and Gagged in somebody's trunk.
  • Whenever someone's about to explain the nature of the mysterious "corruption", something conveniently interrupts them.
• Shout-Out:
  • Kanaya tells Rose that The Baby Is You.
  • This page traces over Phoenix Wright's iconic pose.
  • When Sollecks learns that Eridan is eating his bees, he cries out "NOT THE BEE2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• Sociopathic Hero: This is an accurate description of Jhon, who kills Swet Bro and cuts off his father's hand while showing no remorse. He also casually abandons Rose to die because he would rather play RollerCoaster Tycoon than SBURB, even though she informs him of the consequences. The fact that he does these things independently of the reader commands makes it even more terrifying... or hilarious.
• Stable Time Loop: Dadd remembers that when he was a baby, a crazy man stole his facial features. Turns out that he himself is that crazy man, who stole the face from his baby paradox clone so he could have his face back.
• Stylistic Suck:
  • Most of the comic is drawn and written deliberately awful. The fact that some characters are unaffected (and are aware that everything and everyone else is horribly fucked up) is one of the main highlights of the comic.
  • Instead of the detailed and colorful worlds that the Lands serve as in canon, one of them is represented as a black circle, and one of them a white circle. And practically nothing else (becides consorts). These are not "CANWC versions" of LOWAS and LOLAR — the former is "Land of Darkness and Ruses," literally just a black sphere. The latter is "Land of Light and Froges," which is just light. With frogs on it. A third Land, Land of Dollers and and Danger, is introduced, which has actual geography to it, but it's made of a clashing purple and orange palette.
• Tomato in the Mirror: It's revealed partly through the comic via Kanaya that the world didn't get corrupted - it was like this from the very beginning, as proven by Rose's (or rather, Roze's) paradox clone being shitty. Rose proceeds to have a mental breakdown over the fact.
• Wham Episode:
  • Kanaya's conversation with Rose shortly after the latter saw messages from Doc Scratch. Rose sees how her baby self was "Corrupt" as well. While hinted at with Rose being born "Corrupted," the speculation between her and Kanaya all-but confirms that the world was not closer to canon's before becoming Corrupt aside from a select few, it was Corrupt from the start, and Rose became one of the few exceptions.
  • The end of Act 4. Jhon god-tiers. The long-set up fight between Rose and Hecka Jef finally plays out and ends with Jef losing an arm and eye. Freshwhitegermysprite "double ascends" by taking both of the rings, turning in to a massive blob of tentacles the size of one of the Lands that ends up teleporting Jef's entire team to an unknown location. He is also heavily implied to be the "Demon of Darkness," with Lord English being the "Demon of Rainbow." Several characters die, including Beq (before Bec's death in the canonical Act 5) and Swet Mom. Also, Damara/Handmaid is normal/Enhanced/Uncorrupted, and Hussie — also normal — is being kept locked up in Doc Scratch's chest. Which is set to open "~U," when a universe ends.
• Wham Line:
  • "Name's Jack Noir. You ain't heard of no Bec."
  • "Congratulations, Jhon—if you are reading this, then you have successfully entered your Sburb session." The line isn't particularly notable by itself, but the fact that Doc Scratch is the one saying it the "wham" itself.
  • "But you and I both know that I've invited you to my apartment twice before. Spades Slick was there too, remember?"
  • "you name is papaya lesbyam and your the gayest person in the world"
  • "you have suxessfuly inflitrated the session.this planit is youres now"
  • "...oh my g0d im... im me!!! im aradia megido!!! im ENHANCED!!!"
  • "s0 much of what ive gained during my ascension... my 0mniscience and my ficti0nal omnipresence and my realness and even my very identity... will be stripped fr0m me in my final m0ments
    and perhaps vrasky is onto something here c0nsidering the fact that the 0ne responsible for my eventual d0wnfall will indeed be papaya
    or kanaya rather"
  • "NO, ..ONE PERSIN HASNT BE PUNISHED YET!!!! YOU VRASKY!!!!!!"
• Wham Shot:
  • A comedic one in "{s]every one; enter": Hecka Jef is the mystery player.
  • A more interesting one in "s]hecka Jef": Hecka is a Muse of Time.
  • A more serious but brief one in "coalle[s]ce": Lil Cal is normal.
  • An even bigger one in the Intermission: Vrasky has taken over the role of Snowman.
  • The reveal of "Whyte Wordes Guy 2", aka the Final Agent.
  • Kanaya being revealed as papaya further supports that her enhancement was recent, and that she was always corrupted to begin with.
  • In "JUDGEMANT [S ]": The Biig Man and Fresh Dark Germy³sprit briefly appearing to beat up Kraket, with the shot heavily implying they are the Demons of Color and Darkness.
• World Gone Mad: Almost everything and everyone looks and behaves incredibly shitty.