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Web Video / Console Wars

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Greg: I'm Nintendo!
Dan: And I'm Sega!
Both: This is Console Wars!
—The intro

This page is for the show. For the real life console wars, see here.

Console Wars is a Web Original Video Review Show created by Greg Gatarz and Dan Bulich, wherein they determine whether a game is better (or worse) on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System or the Sega Genesis. Every episode has a plot that's based somewhat on the game they're playing (for example, they become Beavis And Butthead in the Beavis and Butthead review, and they get visited by Rafiki in the review of The Lion King).

Greg is the Super Nintendo guy and Dan is the Genesis guy. They debate about the games based on graphics, presentation, sound, and gameplay. They try their hardest not to come up with ties for any of the categories, but occasionally they do (in fact, two of their reviews ended in the game * being declared a tie).

As of September 8, 2018, Greg is on leave for health reasons, as explained in this video uploaded to their channel. Dan revealed on January 4, 2019 in this video that his friend Pat Brennan will be taking over Greg’s spot, which they showed the first episode on January 7 later that year.

On April 20, 2023, Dan announced in this video that the series would go on hiatus after Episode 100 so he could take paternity leave.

    Games Covered so Far 

The show provides examples of:

  • Art Shift: The Clayfighter episode begins with action figures of Pat and Dan talking to each other about moving the couch upstairs. It is then revealed that this was Pat's idea for the episode because it's more fun. Greg objects to it at first, feeling that it would take hours to do, when they could do it in minutes by just talking to each other in real life. The stopmotion is used again at the end when Pat and Dan find out which version of Clayfighter is the better one.
  • The Alcoholic: At least Once per Episode, the two will indulge in a bottle of beer, vodka, or a mixed drink whenever possible.
  • Berserk Button: In the The Great Waldo Search episode, Pat and Dan find out from Waldo that it's not a good idea to compare him to Carmen Sandiego.
  • Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs:
    • In the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters episode, when Pat criticizes how weird-sounding the turtles say "Cowabunga" in the Genesis version, Dan points out that they're really evil turtle clones from Dimension X, so saying "Cowabanga" isn't weird, it's appropriate. Pat then says it's weirdly appropriate, because "Cowabanga" is how he would describe the Sega game's sound.
    • In the The Great Circus Mystery episode, when Dan is upset that he has to listen to Minnie Mouse's issues with Mickey in their relationship, he thinks about what he planned to do before he got roped into this situation, which includes drink, play video games, and drink while playing video games.
  • The Cameo: After leaving as a series regular, Greg still shows up from time to time for quick little cameos. Lampshaded in the Menacer/Super Scope video
    Dan: ...Do you still work here?
    Greg: Eh, I come and go as I please.
  • Catchphrase:
    • "Which one's better/worse? Let's find out!"
    • "That's a good game for the Super Nintendo." "No, it's better for the Genesis." and variations thereof.
    • "What? That's it! Are we doing this?!"
  • Couch Gag: The intro will have them say "I'm Nintendo!" "And I'm Sega!" "This is Console Wars!" in different ways each episode. Some episodes also began with outtakes, but they have since dropped that.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: Happens occasionally with some matchup categories. For example, in Final Fight 2 vs Streets of Rage 2, when Sound comes up, Greg does absolutely EVERYTHING in his power to delay Dan from talking about SoR2's music. When Dan finally gets to, SoR2 proceeds to instawin the category.
  • Dark Horse Victory:
    • In the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters episode, April O'Neil is on a dating game show with two bachelors; Shredder and Casey Jones. At the end of the episode, it is revealed that there was a third bachelor whom Shredder and Casey didn't know about because they were too busy trying to figure out which version of the TMNT Tournament Fighters game was better. The third bachelor is revealed to be Raphael, who made a real connection with April.
    • In the The Great Circus Mystery episode, Pat and Dan find out that the SNES and Genesis versions of the game have equal advantages over the other, with the SNES version having better graphics, the Genesis version having a better presentation, and each version having an exclusive level. They get a call from Mike to help them settle their dispute. Mike cites the Game Boy Advance version as being the best one, having all of the elements of the SNES and Genesis versions, as well as a save feature in place of the passwords, an improved character select screen, a language select, and an improved ending.
  • Deadpan Snarker: The guys tend to make snarky remarks about the games for the other systems.
  • Excuse Plot: All episodes after the eighth contain short segments, usually involving a new character who drops in related to the game's theme. Appropriately for the games they review, it's mostly just there to explain why they're reviewing the games in the first place.
  • Follow the Leader: In-universe, if there's not a sufficient adaptation to review, they'll use games with very similar mechanics or that clearly draw from the older games as an inspiration, such as Streets of Rage vs. Final Fight and Strider vs. Run Saber.
  • Hilarious Outtakes: Some episodes began and ended with an outtake, but new episodes only end with them.
  • Hypocritical Humor:
    • In the Chester Cheetah: Too Cool to Fool episode, Pat and Dan tell Chester that people don't buy video game remakes, but then they look for their copy of the Resident Evil 2 remake under their collection of video game remakes.
    • In the Earthworm Jim 2 episode, Pat complains about the lack of backgrounds in certain levels of the Genesis version of the game. After this, Earthworm Jim says, "Jeez, how hard is it to put in a simple background?" over a black screen.
  • Mad Libs Catchphrase: "[Category] goes to Sega/Nintendo."
  • Mad Libs Dialogue: In the Turrican episode, the Genesis game's "Presented by Data East" voice clip is used to form Siri's responses to several questions, from "What direction does the sun rise?" ("East.") to "What's Eleanor Roosevelt, Oscar Wilde and Virginia Woolf's sexual orientation?" ("Bi.")
  • Modesty Towel: Officer Pastrami wears one in the Super Street Fighter II episode as Ryu and Ken are about to fight each other in E. Honda's stage, as he is about to take a bath. Pastrami then loses his towel and gets his lower regions censored.
  • Mythology Gag: In the The Jungle Book episode, Pat and Dan are contacted by an FBI agent to take the places of King Louie and Mowgli after the two died in a waterskiing accident. In the end, it is revealed to be a hoax by Officer Pastrami. Pat's King Louie costume includes a Hawaiian shirt and a straw hat, both of which King Louie wore in TaleSpin.
  • The Other Darrin: Parodied in Pat’s first episode where Dan gets a DVD copy of the fourth season of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, complaining that Aunt Vivian's actress gets changed with no explanation, with Pat appearing right afterwards like he was always a part of the show. invoked
  • The Real Spoofbusters: In the Ghostbusters (1984) episode, the city is being invaded by the ghosts of obscure video game mascotsnote . After Pat and Dan see whether the NES or the Master System had the worse version of the Ghostbusters video game, the two don Ghostbusters gear and capture the ghosts, ending with a final battle against a giant Bubsy at the top of a building.
  • Running Gag:
    • Encounters with random characters, including puppets, stuffed toys, and other YouTube personalities.
    • Being totally immature about things, but thinking they're really acting mature.
    • When they're about to call a tie, someone (usually some wise old guy) will tell them not to give up hope. Of course, sometimes it can't be helped and it ends in a tie anyway.
  • Self-Deprecation: Greg states that comparing any game soundtrack with a Final Fantasy one is "like comparing a pond to the ocean. (...) Console Wars to The Angry Video Game Nerd."
  • Shout-Out:
    • At the end of the Toy Story episode, when Dan helps Greg rewrite his "Instrument Story" idea, he suggests that the characters be from video games and live in an arcade.
    • In the Buster Busts Loose Vs. Buster's Hidden Treasure episode, Greg tries to prove to Dan that Buster Busts Loose has original music tracks, only to sing a variation of the Tiny Toons theme song. Their dialogue nearly quotes Homer and Marge's from "Round Springfield" word-for-word.
    • The Flashback episode ends with Pat and Dan being arrested and thrown in jail. Dan decides that it's a good ending for him, since it's how Seinfeld ended.
  • Song Parody:
    • The Terminator 2 episode has a "lost Weird Al parody", namely of "You Could Be Mine".
    • The Batman Forever episode also has a "lost Weird Al parody" called "Piss on Heroes".
    • The Spider-Man and the X-Men in Arcade's Revenge episode features another "lost Weird Al parody" called "Uber State of Mind".
  • Stock "Yuck!": In the Aaahh!!! Real Monsters episode, the Beer Monster goes through Pat and Dan's bucket of Halloween candy, and is disgusted at the sight of candy corn, Sun Maid raisins, and Almond Joy, all commonly disliked Halloween treats.
  • Take a Third Option: Near the end of the Venom/Spider-Man: Separation Anxiety episode, Pat and Dan realize that the titular game isn't as great as they remembered it, so they don't want to do a "Best version" for that game, but since they've already gone over many of the game's good qualities, they don't want to do a "Worst version", so they decide to do a "Least crappy version" option instead.
  • Take That!:
    • In the Kirby's Avalanche Vs. Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine episode, Greg calls Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (the show Mean Bean Machine is based on) "The bad Sonic cartoon everyone's trying to forget", and wishes the game were based on Sonic the Hedgehog (SatAM), which he calls "The good Sonic cartoon".
    • In the The Lost Vikings episode, Dan says that the Genesis version of the game has a three-player mode that only works with the official Team Player multitap by Sega, not the "piece of junk from EA" (referring to the 4-way Play adapter from Electronic Arts), which he throws into a trash can.
    • In the Super Scope Vs. Menacer episode, Pat says of Yoshi's Safari, "It's definitely better than Sonic with a gun".
    • In the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters episode, Pat points out that Aska, one of the playable characters in the SNES version of the game was originally going to be Mitsu from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, but was changed because TMNT III sucked. He even shows the thumbnails from YouTube videos of negative reviews of the film, including The Angry Video Game Nerd's.
    • At the beginning of the Batman Forever episode, Pat tells Dan that their new batch of T-shirts came in. Dan compliments the logo, Pat says he hopes no one steals it, and Dan asks who would, a direct jab at CBS for stealing their logo for their documentary of the same name. Later in the same episode, Pat points out that the SNES game doesn't have the voice clips that the Genesis game does, but Dan argues that the sound quality of the voice clips on the Genesis game is terrible. Pat then says it's better than what the SNES game originally had planned, and shows Dan fictional voice clips that were cut from the SNES game on the blu-ray of the titular film that Dan ordered, where the enemies say "Did I do that?", "You got it, Dude!", and that weird Tim Allen noise.
    • In the Aaahh!!! Real Monsters episode, Dan says that the postlady in the post office level screams while the postman grunts in the Genesis version, while it's the other way around in the SNES version. Upon hearing this, Pat says that Dan can't just throw gender roles around, especially since it's 2022, as he's going to get their show cancelled. Dan assures Pat that the Cancel Culture never overreacts to anything, but then the Cancel Culture starts a "Cancel Console Wars" page on the CNN Politics website.
  • That Poor Cat: Shows up in the Mario Paint vs. Art Alive! and Wacky Worlds Creativity Studio video after Greg throws his painting to the side.
  • Title Drop: The intro to most videos ends with the two saying (or rather, yelling) "This is Console Wars!"
  • Toilet Humor:
    • Used at the end of the Beauty and the Beast episode. After beating the two licensed games based on the movie, the curse over the talking SNES and Genesis is broken, turning them into a talking bedpan and a talking toilet paper roll, respectively. Unfortunately for them, Greg drank too much beer and Dan ate too much beans, and there's no nearby bathroom.
      Toilet paper and bedpan: (seeing Greg and Dan looking toward them) OH, SHIIIIIIIII...
    • The Boogerman episode is filled with this. Then again, considering the game being reviewed, it should come as no surprise.
    • In the Batman Forever episode, Pat and Dan watch a fictional deleted scene on the blu-ray of the titular film that Dan ordered where Two-Face and The Riddler pee on Batman. They then watch an unreleased "Weird Al" Yankovic parody of "Kiss From a Rose" called "Piss on Heroes".
    • In the T2: The Arcade Game episode, Dan reveals that the Genesis version of the game's soundtrack is composed by Matt Furniss, as opposed to Andy Brock's soundtrack in the SNES version. When Pat says that the Genesis version's soundtrack isn't from the arcade, Dan reminds Pat that he's a Matt Furniss fan, and tries to show him audio evidence of it on his phone. The preceding messages reveal Dan talking to Eric, who clogged the toilets at Barnes & Noble, Cheesecake Factory, Buy Baby Buy, and Wendy's (the last of which he did after eating an extra order of fries).
      Pat: I'm kind of worried about Eric.
    • The Super Street Fighter II episode begins with the cast from the game at an anger management class. Blanka is upset that he has to use the toilets, instead of going wherever he wants like in the jungle he used to live in. Later in the video, Ryu tells Blanka to use the toilet instead of pooping in the corner, but to no avail.
  • Trouser Space: In the Daze Before Christmas episode, Anti-Claus is revealed to keep a bag of potato flakes in his pants. When Pat asks him why he keeps potato flakes in his pants, Anti-Claus tells him that he couldn't fit them in his pockets because they were filled with macaroni.

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