Luke is still struggling to find his place, not understanding the behaviors of other kids. Clyde brings him to Combat 3000, a laser tag chain that has just opened, to teach him the importance of games.
Sarah Jane and Maria investigate the disappearances of children across England, linked with brief storms. They discover that the freak storms occurred as a reaction from a teleportation device, which all occurred in the vicinity of branches of Combat 3000. They take their investigations to the laser tag center (read: sonic and enter and go poking around) and are confronted by the manager, Mr. Mark Grantham. They discover that he and an Uvodni (a humanoid, insectoid alien) called Kudlak are abducting the children for an unseen "Mistress" to turn them into an army of Child Soldiers against their enemies, the Malakh. They are too late to save Luke and Clyde, who have been transported to the Uvodni craft in orbit and are trying to rally the other kids in an escape.
Various sci-fi shout-outs are made and various morals are taught. Luke wires Clyde's mobile into the craft computer system and accomplishes feats of tech that would make the Doctor proud. Sarah Jane and Maria trade off being generally awesome in confronting, escaping, and later capturing Grantham, forcing him to teleport them to the Uvodni ship where they and the kids confront The Mistress and her troops.
They discover the Mistress's true identity as a face appearing on a computer screen, with no real person behind it. Kudlak is stopped by Luke before he kills anyone. Luke reveals that The Mistress concealed a message in the mainframe from the Uvodni Emperor from ten years ago. It declared that an armistice had been reached with the Malakh. As a computer, the Mistress has no programming to understand the concept of peace, so the Mistress buried the message and continued to command Kudlak as before, even though her missions no longer had any real point to them. With the truth revealed, Kudlak destroys The Mistress, releases the children and swears to do what he can to reunite all the surviving recruits with their families.
Tropes
- Absurdly Dedicated Worker: Kudlak has been ignorantly fighting a war that ended years ago, similar to the famous story of Hiroo Onoda, a Japanese soldier who continued operating on a remote island unaware that World War II was over.
- A.I. Is a Crapshoot: The computer.
- Anti-Villain: Despite his modus operandi, General Kudlak is one of the more honourable antagonists Sarah Jane has faced. He takes no genuine pleasure in his actions but commits them to ensure the Uvodni aren't crushed, and desperately desires peace. When he learns the truth, he is enraged and remorseful for his actions, dedicating the remainder of his life to reuniting the families he broke apart.
- The Atoner: General Kudlak.
- Chekhov's Gun: The metal cylinders made of Cibrianite Flux that Sarah and Maria use to build their machine are later used to knock out Grantham.
- Child Soldiers: The aims of the Mistress and the Uvodni.
- Computer Equals Monitor: The death of the Mistress.
- Continuity Nod:
- Sarah Jane mentions her UNIT training in this serial.
- The Slabs from the Doctor Who episode "Smith and Jones" are in the employ of the Uvodni, minus all the leather.
- Grantham states that "Kids love war games!". No surprises how it turns out then.
- Cool Old Lady: Sarah Jane, as usual. Grantham even begrudgingly calls her a 'cool old bird.' Twice.
- Dude, Not Funny!: Sarah Jane is aghast that Clyde seemingly named Lance, whose father died in the Afghan War, “the Corporal” in reference to his surname. But when Luke is revealed to have come up with it, she becomes more understanding.
- Everyone Has Standards: Kudlak is actually disgusted with Grantham's sheer sliminess and Lack of Empathy.
- Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: The Mistress can't understand why peace would be desirable to anyone. Because she was never programmed to understand peace.
- Evil Feels Good: Grantham thinks so.Grantham: A conscience is like a stone in your shoe. You cannot imagine the relief when you throw it away.
- Forever War: The Uvodni are locked in a long conflict against an unseen and apparently far worse race called the Malakh. Subverted in the end as it turns out Kudlak's information is outdated; the war ended over a decade ago and his mission has been pointless.
- Girly Run: Humorously, Kudlak chases Sarah Jane and Maria with a bizarre, prancing gait.
- Go and Sin No More: General Kudlak realizes that the war his people were fighting had ended without his knowledge. He allows Sarah Jane to take his life, but she refuses. The alien then promises to return to his homeworld and bring back the humans he had abducted.
- Heel–Face Turn: Upon realising that his Mistress is an AI that has been lying to him for decades, Kudlak is so ashamed and dishonoured for his actions that he offers Sarah Jane his gun to execute him with.
- Humans Are Warriors: A very dark take on the "Humans are Useful" variation, considering Kudlak and Grantham are kidnapping human children to serve as Child Soldiers.
- Humans Are the Real Monsters: The Uvodni are kidnapping human children because they are one of the most aggressive races in the galaxy, as evidenced by the many wars that humans fight and war games that children play.
- Also between the alien enemy and his human collaborator the human is by far the worse person.
- I Just Want to Be Normal: Luke.
- Informed Flaw: To establish that he hasn't yet mastered humor, there's a scene where Luke tells Maria a joke that falls flat. Except his "cereal killer" joke is perfectly normal and genuinely funny.
- Karma Houdini: Discussed. Grantham didn't stick around after sending off Sarah Jane and Maria, but they implied he would get what was coming to him 'eventually.' And for what it was worth, they did get a chance to beat up on him, see below. It's possible, indeed probable, that either Mr. Smith or UNIT will track him down.
- Let Me Get This Straight...:Grantham: So you're going to tell the police that I helped some butt ugly alien send kids to war in a galaxy far away. It won't be me going down, love. It will be you, down to the funny farm.
- Little Miss Badass: Maria electrocuted Grantham. Nothing fatal, but she succeeded in dropping him while he was holding Sarah Jane at gunpoint for the second time that episode. He should have taken the hint the first time around, when Sarah Jane shorted out his comm device with her sonic lipstick.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Clyde refers to Lance by his nickname, Corporal. Sarah tells them that this nickname probably upset Lance because his father was a soldier that was killed in battle. Luke is upset by this because he thought he finally said something humorous and he leaves the house upset.
- Never Say That Again: Sarah tries her hand at slang.Sarah: I've heard a lot about this place. Apparently, it's the nuts.Maria: Okay, let's agree to never say that ever again.
- Old Soldier: Kudlak in spirit. And he longs for peace.
- Pop-Cultural Osmosis Failure: Luke doesn't understand Clyde's joke about Captain Kirk.
- Proud Warrior Race Guy: The Uvodni.
- Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves: Kudlak tries to pull this on Grantham once Kudlak believes he's outlived his usefulness — out of sheer disgust at Grantham's greed, selfishness, and near-sociopathic disregard for his own race — but the Mistress stops him.
- Shout-Out:
- Maria mentions Planet of the Apes.
- Clyde mentions Captain Kirk and Obi-Wan Kenobi.
- Grantham says "A galaxy far far away" and when the kids are on board the ship, one girl says "That's no moon."
- Using a game to recruit warriors for outer space? Where have we seen that before?
- Smug Snake: Grantham.
- Technobabble: Sarah Jane has to translate for the kids whenever Mr. Smith is guilty of this.
- Thousand-Yard Stare: Kudlak in his most unguarded moments has a version of this. He's tired and just wants to go home, away from the war.
- War Is Glorious vs. War Is Hell
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: Kudlak kidnaps human children to serve in the Uvodni military and use their combat skills against the Malakh, acting on the orders of his Mistress that it is necessary for them to end the war. However, as soon as he discovers the truth, he doesn't hesitate to stop.
- The X of Y
