See if you can tell who the fighters are.
Crypt Keeper: (wearing Christmas-themed pajamas and standing on a ladder, decorating a Christmas tree; singing and humming to the tune of "Deck the Halls") Deck the halls with parts of Charlie/Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! Make the yuletide gross and gnarly/Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-ha-ha! (warmly chuckles, to the viewers) Oh, hello creeps. It's me, your favorite holiday spirit, doing a little Crypt-mas decorating. Boy, do I love this time of year. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your- (hears a biting sound, looks down) Hey, Jack! Get away from me! YOW!(the ladder tumbles over, knocking him to the ground; he peeks out from a pile of presents) I guess he's off my Christmas chopping list. Which brings to mind tonight's terror tale. It's about two martial artists who do some chopping of their own, in a tasteless fright to the finish I call: The Pit.
Felix Johnson and Aaron Scott are a rivaling pair of mixed marital artists who regularly duke it out in the ring. The two fighters have both been declared unbeatable and their numerous duels suggest that they are equally matched. While Felix and Aaron are friendly and appreciative of one another outside the ring, their wives Aubrey and Andrea are another story. Both women are rivals too, but they retired from competing because female fighters are paid far less than men and they prefer to let their husbands make their money. Felix and Aaron are soon offered the starring role in an upcoming action film The Pulverizer, and once their wives hear the news, they take their own rivalry to new heights, squabbling and arguing with one another at every opportunity, alternating with pushing, browbeating, and even physically abusing (and in Aubrey's case, cheating on) their husbands.
Meanwhile, fight promoter Wink Barnum is running low on ideas for a pay-per-view blockbuster, until he sees the two couples trying to upstage one another in public. Hatching an idea, Wink smartly approaches the wives with an idea: roping their husbands into a televised cage fight to the death. The two women eagerly sign on behalf of their husbands, considering the situation a win-win. Felix and Aaron, not at all fond of fighting to the death and sick of their wives' petty rivalry and overbearing natures, hatch their own plot to get back at them.
"The Pit" Provides examples of:
- Actor Allusion: The scene where Wink and the wives toast to the upcoming deathmatch is scored to big band music, and the scene where he's being interviewed as Felix and Aaron practice has him surrounded by showgirls in feathery costumes. These scenes are allusions to Wayne Newton, who plays Wink, being a Las Vegas lounge singer.
- Adaptation Name Change: In the comic the wives are named Bea and Lila.
- Alpha Bitch: Aubrey and Andrea are nothing but loathsome, both to their husbands and especially towards each other.
- Arch-Enemy: The wives utterly loathe each other, while their husbands area actually good friends.
- Awful Wedded Life: The wives and their respective husbands are not happily married, since the women keep browbeating (and even just plain beating) their husbands as motivation to kill the other woman's lover. Aubrey even has the nerve to cheat on Felix with his trainer.
- Bait-and-Switch: Given that the Crypt Keeper's segments are holiday themed, you'd be forgiven for thinking this is a Christmas story.
- The story itself has a moment near the end where it seems like Aubrey is pumping iron when she's tricked into entering the cage. It's revealed that she was actually having sex with Felix's trainer behind his back.
- Be Careful What You Wish For: The newscaster Wink watches on TV quotes the trope directly when he witnesses Aubrey and Andrea's interviews regarding the other's husband.
- Blood Sport: While the episode already focuses more on MMA fights rather than traditional horror, Kaos in the Kage is explicitly advertised as a televised, no-holds-barred fight to the death, and goes by what Wink calls "Malaysian deathmatch rules": no time limit, no restrictions, and no stopping until someone surrenders... or dies.
- Buddy Picture: After the wives are taken care of, the producers of The Pulverizer, with a little help from the husbands and Wink, change things up so their movie becomes one of these, allowing for Felix and Aaron to star in it together and save their friendship.
- Call-Back: Wink asks his secretary to call the offices of a "Judd Campbell" to schedule his "hundred million dollar idea", and later has some signed contracts prepared to guarantee the even's winner. Judd Campbell is also the name of the swindling salesman from Death of Some Salesmen.
- Casting Couch: Aubrey accuses Andrea of sleeping with two different judges to win one of their previous matches.
- Cat Fight: The ending scene of the episode (the moment to which the whole show was building up to) is a lengthy sequence where Aubrey and Andrea find out they were tricked into competing in their husbands' places, and subsequently begin kicking the crap out of each other, as Felix, Aaron, and Wink watch in satisfaction.
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Chaotic Neutral: Wink doesn't really take any specific group's side, since all he cares about is making money by having people beat each other to death. While he was fully onboard with letting Aubrey and Andrea's husbands fight to the death, when the wives themselves do it in their place, he's still happy with the cash he's raking in. - Christmas Episode: The framing segments play this to the hilt, even though the actual story doesn't have anything to do with the holiday.
- Dick Dastardly Stops to Cheat: The wives admit, during their confrontation, that they each sabotaged their husband's weapons during the latter's latest match.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Both wives subject their agents with threats of horrific torture to ensure that their respective husbands get the starring role in The Pulverizer.
- The Dog Bites Back: Sick of their wives' nagging, abuse, and their petty rivalry, Felix and Aaron throw them in the ring in their place, watching with contentment as they kill each other.
- Drill Sergeant Nasty: The wives act as sadistic as possible when motivating (i.e. beating and gaslighting) their respective husbands.
- Earn Your Happy Ending: Not only do Felix and Aaron manage to trick their wives into killing each other for the entertainment of the masses, but Wink (who gets his major fight and his resultant profit) manages to get the producers of The Pulverizer to change the film into a buddy picture dubbed The Pulverizers, allowing them to star in it together.
- The wives' situation could be seen as one of these, too, given how they're finally allowed to kill one another after their years of petty bickering.
- Establishing Character Moment: The interview at the beginning of the episode perfectly showcases the characters: Felix and Aaron, while professional rivals, compliment their opponent and are friends outside of the ring. Their wives go at each other with every single opportunity.
- "Eureka!" Moment: When he's stumped on ideas for fights to promote, Wink glimpses Felix and Aaron's latest fight on TV, then watches separate interviews with their wives, fueled with ideas by the intensive rivalry both women have.
- Everybody Lives: One of the few episodes where the trope is played straight, though it's possible Aubrey and Andrea killed each other after the cut to black.
- Exact Words: Kaos in the Kage is advertised as being a match between "Johnson vs. Scott". The end of the episode reminds the audience that it wasn't hinted which Johnson or Scott would be competing, as the wives find out the hard way.
- Flat Character: The wives have basically no characterization outside of abusing their husbands and their petty rivalry.
- Friendly Rival: Felix and Aaron are completely amicable towards each other when they aren't in the ring. Their wives are the true rivals.
- Groin Attack: Andrea threatens to dangle her agent over a busy freeway by his "you know what" if her husband doesn't get the starring role in The Pulverizer.
- Hate Sink: Andrea and Aubrey. The two women are portrayed as nothing but egotistical bitches who browbeat and physically abuse their MMA husbands (even quitting the fighting scene themselves so the men can make all their money for them) for the sake of their unending rivalry. It's immensely satisfying to see them finally take each other on directly, compliments of their abused husbands.
- Hidden Depths: As the two men engage in small talk, Felix reveals that he grows cacti, to the point where he has a whole farm of them in Arizona.
- Homage: The episode can be seen as a parody of the MMA/pay-per-view fighting craze of the 90s.
- Involuntary Battle to the Death: The premise of Wink's televised cage fight Kaos in the Kage, which Felix and Aaron want no part in whatsoever.
- It's All About Me: Aubrey and Andrea are only ever interested in getting rid of the other, permanently if possible. They even quit being professional fighters to let their husbands do it for them, as women fighters are purportedly paid less.
- Lampshade Hanging: Felix wonders, as he and Aaron idly chat before their big match, how everything even came down to this in the first place. Aaron promptly points out that their wives are the reason everything went south between them.
- Large Ham: Wink Barnum (as played by the similarly hammy Wayne Newton) is eager and bombastic in all of his scenes. It's justified since he's a fight promoter, and it's essentially his job to hype people up.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Wink mentions that HBO, the network that produces and airs the series, is investing in his idea for Kaos in the Kage.
- Kaos in the Kage itself is said to be a production of HBO Sports, a fictional subdivision of the same network mentioned above.
- Lighter and Softer: The episode has no onscreen death, has quite a few comedic moments, and leans more towards MMA fighting and blood sports rather than traditional horror themes.
- Surprisingly, it's also this to the story it's based off of. While the basic plot is the same in the comic, the two wives were owners of rivalling Beastly Bloodsports rings, with the final panel showing their brawl over the carcasses of dogs and roosters. Here, they're managers for their MMA fighting husbands, and the conclusion is much less gory.
- Lower-Class Lout: Andrea insults Aubrey on air by calling her one of these for living in a Texas trailer park and competing in a mud wrestling ring for two years
- Mixed Martial Arts: The episode centers around the sport, as a pair of former fighters motivate (by beating and gaslighting) their husbands to destroy each other for the sake of their unending rivalry.
- Mud Wrestling: Andrea riles Aubrey up by reminding her that she used to work in a mud wrestling ring in Cleveland for two years.
- Nice Mean And In Between: Felix and Aaron are the nice, since they compliment each other when they aren't competing and work together to rid themselves of their abusive wives. Aubrey and Andrea are the mean, as they abuse their husbands with every opportunity as motivation to destroy the other. Wink is the in-between, since he doesn't really care who gets thrown into the cage match so long as they beat each other to death and he can make money.
- Nightmare Fetishist: The enthusiasm of the announcers, the press, and the audience to the sheer brutality showcased throughout the episode hints that the episode is set in a world full of them. Of course, given that there's no actual horror coming into play, it could be downplayed to being die-hard sports fans.
- Not with Them for the Money: The wives tell their respective husbands that they aren't agreeing with Wink's deathmatch idea for the money, but so the other wife's husband will die as a form of petty revenge against their rival.
- Product Placement: The Crypt Keeper's Christmas themed framing segments are basically what they are so the show can plug the then-released "Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas" album, which the Crypt Keeper himself shows off.
- Proscenium Reveal: The episode opens on a recording of Felix and Aaron's last match, which is shown to be a clip featured on a trashy talk show featuring both men and their wives.
- The Rival: Aubrey and Andrea hate each other with the fury of a thousand rabid dogs, and they take that anger out on their respective husbands through beatings and gaslighting.
- Retired Badass: Both wives were former MMA fighters themselves, but they quit when they were tired of not being paid the same amount as male fighters. The ending brawl shows that they've still got quite a bit of strength and strategy left in them, which they use to kill each other.
- Seinfeldian Conversation: Felix and Aaron engage in this sort of small talk to take their minds off the hours they have left until their fight to the death. It's during this scene where they each reveal Hidden Depths about the other, then decide to turn the tables on their abusive, overbearing wives.
- Show Within a Show: The Pulverizer, an action movie that both women seek to have their husbands star in. Wink manages to straighten things out with the film's producers to change it into a buddy picture, so both husbands can star in it together.
- Skewed Priorities: The first thing the wives do once they discover that they've been duped into replacing their husbands in the ring? Blame each other for it and go back to trying to kill each other.
- Take That!: While being interviewed, Andrea tells the reporter that if Aubrey is so determined to get her husband in a movie and embarrass him in the process, they're casting for Police Academy 10.
- Trash Talk: The wives' dialogue almost entirely consists of this, and it's usually directed at each other.
- Trophy Wife: Both Aubrey and Andrea are these to their husbands, who they also see as their money-making punching bags.
- Two Scenes, One Dialogue: While Aubrey rants over the phone for her husband to get the lead role in The Pulverizer, the episode fades in to Andrea's apartment, where she's having the exact same conversation.
- The trope happens again, and quite frequently, during the scene where both women furiously motivate/confront their husbands into destroying each other for the sake of their feud.
- Uncertain Doom: Although the episode ends before they actually do so, it's undeniable that Aubrey and Andrea are fated to kill each other in the cage match.
- Villain in a White Suit: Wink wears one of these in his introductory scene, even though he's more of a neutral money-grabber than an outright villain.
- Worthy Opponent: The opening interview has the host discussing how Felix and Aaron's matches usually end in a draw, suggesting that they're equally matched.
- Xtreme Kool Letterz: Kaos in the Kage, the climactic fighting event, is spelled with these.
Crypt Keeper: (sitting near his Christmas tree, listening to the song he sang earlier being played on a stereo) I guess in the end, the choke was on the girls. Choke hold, that is. (cackles) I don't know about you kiddies, but my money's on Aubrey. I think she's a little fester to the punch. Well, you know what they say, the scream always rises. (snickers, the camera pans over to a copy of the Tales From the Crypt: Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas CD, the Crypt Keeper picks it up and shows it off) There, all done. Now I'll have a little eggnog, listen to a few hell-iday tunes, and wait for Santa Claus to come. Hmmmm, maybe I should throw another Yule log on the fire. (the camera pans to the right to reveal an elf bound and gagged, then pans back to the Crypt Keeper) I wonder how Yule will feel about that! (cackles)
