Dorien: Look, Tracey, I think you are overreacting. I mean this is every young man's fantasy. An older woman, more worldly, more experienced, just think what she can teach him.
Tracey: You dirty cow.
— Dorien Green trying to make Garth and Linda's relationship seem appealing to Tracey Stubbs.
- Date First Aired: 25/09/1994
Tracey is worried, as Garth had been out all night with a woman named Linda. Even worse, Sharon and Dorien reveal that Linda is much older than Garth, leading Tracey to fear that she has taken him on as his toyboy.
At the prison, Sharon learns that Chris is taking creative writing classes, as it looks good for parole. However, Sharon doesn't like this direction, calling it filth. Tracey also reveals Garth's new relationship with Darryl but is disappointed when he approves of it. Dorien later tells her that he is seeking her disapproval and that if she sticks her feet in, he will become closer to her so Tracey gets the idea to become friends with her.
Meanwhile, Dorien buys Chris' poetry. When the girls interrogate her, Dorien admits that the writing's terrible and that she was only promoting his work to get revenge on him. During this, Tracey starts to bond with Mrs. Robinson, much to the annoyance of Garth, who decides to end the relationship. Soon, Chris' stuff makes it to the Governor's office and he's kicked out of the course, leading to a search of Dorien's property for illegal materials.
Tropes in this episode:
- Accidental Misnaming: Chris calls Dorien "Doreen".
- Affectionate Nickname: Linda eventually takes to calling Garth "Garthy", although he doesn't like it.
- Age-Gap Romance: Garth has one with the much older divorced Linda, much to the annoyance of Tracey (at first, at least).
- Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Tracey's friendship with Linda Robinson is embarrassing enough to Garth that he decides to end his relationship with her.
- Call-Back: Dorien wants to get revenge on Chris because she's still sour about the events of "Poetic Justice".
- Cannot Keep a Secret: Dorien is unable to keep herself from spilling the secret about Garth and Linda's relationship from Tracey.
- Celebrity Paradox: When Sharon brings up Emmerdale, she doesn't seem to realise that Vic Windsor has more than a striking resemblance to Darryl.
- Continuity Nod: Dorien's history of being a novelist was first mentioned in "Jobs for the Girls" and expanded on in "Cuckoo" and "The Front", is briefly brought up.
- Dating What Daddy Hates: Tracey really doesn't like Garth's new girlfriend Linda, considering her to be too old for him. That said, she does relax a little in this regard once they form a friendship.
- Distinction Without a Difference: Sharon and Dorien attempts to convince Tracey that they were not keeping the fact that they saw Garth's new date from her.Tracey: So why the big secret?Sharon: There was no big secret. We just happened to bump into 'em in the wine bar and we didn't bother to mention it, did we?Dorien: Well, that's right. We agreed not to.Tracey: So it was a secret.Sharon: No! (Beat) Well, not really.
- Erotic Dream: Tracey snarks that Dorien's dreams aren't that much filthier than the dirty stories that Chris writes.
- Fake Faint: Linda apparently pretended to faint in an attempt to get backstage of a Gary Glitter concert. She ended up being carried to the ambulance.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Dorien conducts an entire plan involving Chris sending her his filthy poems out of a desire for revenge, which goes well until the police get word of it and issue a warrant for searching of illegal items at Dorien's house.
- Like Parent, Like Spouse: Linda Robinson is a lot like Tracey, enough that Dorien theorizes that Garth may have gone out with her because she reminds him of his mother Tracey.
- "L" Is for "Dyslexia": Chris spells "writer" as "ritter".
- Malaproper: Chris says "incarkerated" instead of "incarcerated".
- Mrs. Robinson: Linda Robinson, who has a one-episode relationship with the much younger Garth. Tracey fears that she's using him as a toyboy, although this fear calms down after they become friends.
- Noodle Incident:
- Darryl fondly remembers the time he made love to an older woman when he was younger.
- Chris once masqueraded as a poet, which turned out to be a rip-off.
- One-Shot Character: Linda Robinson.
- Overly Long Name: Sharon once again complains about how long "Theodopolopodous" is:Chris: Anyway, you'll be sorry when I've got my name on books.Sharon: Your name won't fit on books.
- Shout-Out:
- Darryl asks Tracey if Linda looks like Joanna Lumley or Felicity Kendal.
- Chris hopes to win a Nobel Prize in Literature.
- Garth is hoping to go to the cinema and watch "the new Robert Altman" after hearing Barry Norman review it.
- When Garth says he's dating a "Mrs. Robinson", Tracey thinks he's taking the piss.
- Darryl reads the works of Salman Rushdie. Chris also claims to be a fan:Chris: Look, anyone who's on the run is alright with me.
- Tracey and Dorien discuss Sigmund Freud and David Attenborough.
- Small Name, Big Ego: Chris' writing course makes him become far too self-satisfied and smug.
- Stepford Suburbia: Dorien does not have a fond view of suburbia:
- Take That!:
- When Chris mentions a writer-in-residence at the prison, Sharon asks if he's banged up for EastEnders or Emmerdale, poking fun at the quality of the writing in those two series.
- Darryl hopes that Linda doesn't look like Janet Street-Porter.
- According to Garth, the last thing you would want to find out is that Linda is a Gary Glitter fan.
- Sharon makes a joke about Michael Jackson "liking" Garth.
- Dorien remarks that Marcus doing the synagogue's taxes is making her front room look like Fiddler on the Roof.
- When Dorien hears she may have received dubious material in the post, she remarks it was probably meant to be sent to someone in Tottenham.
- Titled After the Song: The name of the episode comes from the Simon & Garfunkel song "Mrs. Robinson".
