Recap / Birds of a Feather S6E1: Not in My Back Yard

Tracey: I mean, at leas' when you're ordin'ry, you don' 'ave to worry about people pryin' into yer personal life an' takin' secret photos of ya workin' out. (Beat) WHAT THE BLOODY 'ELL'S THIS?!

Sharon: It's a secret photo of you workin' out.

— Tracey Stubbs discovering Sharon Theodopolopodous' secret photos of her.

• Date First Aired: 18/09/1994

After a bout of exercising, Tracey finds in the newspaper that Princess Diana has decided to move to a house far away from the royal family in order to lead a quiet life. Not long afterward, Dorien comes in with news that the owners of Theydon Lodge want to buy twenty feet of her back garden to build a sports complex for £5,000, as well as 20ft from the sister's garden. It's not long before the girls suspect that their new neighbour may be Princess Diana.

At the bar, the girls overhear that the new neighbour has kids called William and Harry, the same as Diana's children and that she's divorced from a man named Charles, further convincing her. Thus, the sisters try to convince Dorien to sell her back garden to Theydon Lodge. However, they can't exactly confirm this, so Dorien refuses. Eventually, they manage to pursue the family up to Church and to the local Amusement Park but fail to confirm the truth.

Back home though, the girls are pretty certain that the new neighbour is Diana and Dorien decides to try to take advantage of this. However, these hopes are soon dashed when Tracey is told by Darryl about a criminal named Charlie Savage, who has bought a house in Chigwell with a woman named Dinah, to the point of even styling themselves after the Royal Family. However, Tracey withholds this information from the other girls and is able to get everyone to give her some back garden for cash.

---

Tropes in this Episode:

• All There in the Script: The end credits gives the two bodyguards' names as Derrick and Clive.
• Almost Famous Name: Charlie and Dinah Savage, a rich criminal and his wife, share very similar first names to Princess Diana and Prince Charles. The girls actually think them to be the real deal until Tracey finds out the truth from Darryl.
• Amusement Park: As it turns out, there's one just beside the church called World of Adventures. The girls try to locate the members of royalty there but fail to get up to them.
• Ass Shove: Happens to Sharon courtesy of the damaged couch:
  Sharon: We've got get rid of this, Trace. Everywhere I sit, I've got a spring up me arris!
  Tracey: Maybe Dorien'll buy it then.
• Bite of Affection: Sharon tries to lure Dorien into the church with a promise she'll get one:
  Tracey: 'E won' bite 'cha.
  Sharon: Well, that's no encouragement, Trace. The vicar will bite you, Dor. All over.
• Brick Joke: Tracey initially mentions wanting the money to fix up the sofa after Garth "celebrated" all over it with his girlfriend. Later on in the episode, when Darryl asks what news she has for him, she, having just had her important news ruined by the fact that members of the Royal Family aren't actually coming to Chigwell, just tells him that Garth and his bird have ruined the sofa.
• Brief Accent Imitation:
  • Sharon adopts an American accent upon first seeing Tracey exercise.
  • Sharon also picks up a posh accent when introducing "the Honorable, Lady Dorien Muck".
• Continuity Nod:
  • Sharon recalls the time she found another girl's knickers in Chris' car.
    Sharon: At least Di never found another bird's knickers in the glove box of the royal coach!
  • Sharon once again complains that Tracey considers her to be a lodger.
  • Dorien's involvement with the Neighbourhood Watch is brought up again.
• Deadpan Snarker: Sharon's habit of this is starting to get on Dorien's nerves:
  Dorien: D'you know, I don't know why I keep coming 'round here to get insulted.
  Sharon: Ahhh, well, it's so convenient, isn' it?
• Destructo-Nookie: How Garth and his girlfriend knacker the sofa.
• Drives Like Crazy: Dorien manages to get her car off the road and through a bush when trying to pursue what appears to be Princess Diana and her family.
• Finding a Bra in Your Car: Sharon remarks that at least Princess Diana didn't find a pair of knickers in the glove box of the royal coach.
• Ignoring by Singing: Tracey tries to drown Sharon out by singing as she tries to argue that she is not a lodger in Tracey's home.
• Insistent Terminology: Dorien doesn't have a "back yard", she has "professionally-landscaped, Japanese-influenced, rock garden".
• Making Love in All the Wrong Places: Apparently, Garth and his girlfriend apparently celebrated the passing of their catering exams by "celebrating" all over the couch to such an extent that Tracey has to fix it.
• Mistaken Identity: The girls initially believe that Princess Diana and Prince Charles are coming to Chigwell, especially when they see them from a distance at an Amusement Park. It is eventually revealed that they're a family of deliberate lookalikes.
• Named After Somebody Famous: Charlie and Dinah Savage apparently named their kids after Prince William and Harry, although Darryl reckons that William may have actually been named for Wild Billy Savage, the Deptford Slasher.
• Names to Run From Really Fast: Charlie Savage, who according to Darryl is a criminal who is savage in nature.
• One-Shot Character: Derrick, Clive, Dinah Savage, Charlie Savage, William Savage, Harry Savage and Adam.
• Potty Emergency: Dinah asks Tracey where her little girls' room is because she's "bursting for a leak".
• Pun: Sharon makes one as Tracey reads the newspaper.
  Tracey: "Sources close to the Princess-".
  Sharon: Coz she never leaves 'ome without a bottle o' ketchup.
• Rich in Dollars, Poor in Sense: Dorien doesn't realise she has to cut the string holding her wellies together, so she has to waddle all the way to Dalentrace.
• Shout-Out:
  • Sharon decides that she would wait for the Mr. Blobby workout video before bothering to exercise.
    Sharon: He don't go for the burn, he goes for the melt.
  • Tracey thinks Princess Diana and her family are moving into Theydon Lodge.
  • Sharon tries something she saw on TV once:
    Sharon: Still warm.
    Tracey: So?
    Sharon: I saw Columbo do it once.
    Tracey: It's warm? What does it prove?
    Sharon: 'E 'ad cold 'ands.
  • Sharon quotes Jane Austen.
  • Dorien makes a comment about getting herself and Princess Diana on Beadle's About.
  • Darryl mentions Ronnie Biggs when telling Tracey about Charlie Savage, and when he mentions his mistress, Tracey calls her "The girl from Ipanema".
• Silent Treatment: Dorien ignores Sharon after she vomits on her cashmere sweater.
  Dorien: If you were dismembered and your component organs sold for transplantation, they would not amount to the cost of that sweater!
• Spoonerism: Dorien calls Paul Gascoigne and Frank Bruno "Frank Gascoigne and Paul Bruno".
• Take That!:
  • Tracey calls Prince Charles cold, aloof and unfaithful.
  • When Tracey gets angry at Sharon for taking secret pictures of her, Sharon tells her it's okay because she's her sister, not The Daily Mirror.
  • Dorien calls Paul Gascoigne and Frank Bruno vulgar, semi-literate sports personalities, while also mixing up their names.
  • Dorien isn't excited about the idea of Steve Davis buying Theydon Lodge.
  • The girls overhear Derrick and Clive talking about who they think is Prince Charles having an affair with an ugly woman, so they instantly think of Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall.
• Tempting Fate: Tracey comments that at least when you're ordinary, you don't have anyone prying into your personal life and taking secret photos of you working out. Guess what she finds a second later.
• Vomit Discretion Shot: Sharon pukes whilst on the water ride, although it isn't seen on-screen.
  Tracey: Isn't it amazin'? What ever you eat, it comes back as diced carrots.
• Workout Fanservice: The photos of Tracey working out, especially to Darryl, who finds it quite hot.

---