Quotes from The Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures.
Tutorial
Nerd: What... The... Fuck!! Am I in a... Shitty game?!
—The Nerd when entering the level.
Assholevania
Nerd: What a horrible night to have a curse! ...The curse of being stuck in this shitty game!!
—The Nerd when entering the level.
Andre: Take this! Love ya like a play cousin!
—When finding the cameo area of Andre the Black Nerd.
Brentalfloss: IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE! TAKE THIS!
—When finding the cameo area of Brentalfloss.
Happy Fun Candy Time
Nerd: What... The... FUCK! It's like a giant unicorn had severe diarrhea everywhere!
—The Nerd when entering the level.
Nerd: They must have been on crack when they came up with this level.
—Said one minute into the level.
Wiz: There'll be a boss up there. Look for the sweet spot!
Boomstick: Don't even think about touching my guns...
Boomstick: Don't even think about touching my guns...
—When finding the DEATH BATTLE! cameo area.
Nerd: It's that damn purple dinosaur's missing testicle!
—Said when encountering a purple bouncing hazard.
Keith Apicary: Why hello, Nerd!
Nerd: ...Hey Keith.
Keith Apicary: ...Have a good day.
Nerd: ...Hey Keith.
Keith Apicary: ...Have a good day.
—When finding the Talking Classics cameo area.
Nerd: I fucking knew it!!
—Said when encountering the level's boss in the original version of the game.
Nerd: WHAT THE FUCK!? This isn't supposed to be here!!
Papa Bloodstain: WE WERE ALWAYS HERE! THE BLOODSTAIN BEARS BRING DEATH TO THIS REMASTERED UNIVERSE!
Papa Bloodstain: WE WERE ALWAYS HERE! THE BLOODSTAIN BEARS BRING DEATH TO THIS REMASTERED UNIVERSE!
—Said when encountering the level's new boss in the remastered version of the game.
Future Fuckballs 2010
Nerd: Sure. This is what 2010 was like. Puke-green blocks and purple jellyfish!
—The Nerd when entering the level.
Nerd: Oh god, not these fucking things! Okay Nerd, timing is everything...
—Said when encountering disappearing blocks.
Nerd: Oh shit! Is that...
Guitar Guy: ...
Guitar Guy: ...
—When finding and unlocking the Guitar Guy.
Guitar Guy: Nerd! You're here too?
Nerd: Always behind a couch. Come out here and help me, you pussy!
Nerd: Always behind a couch. Come out here and help me, you pussy!
—When finding and unlocking the Guitar Guy in the SGC 2013 build of the game.
Nerd: Whoever came up with this level design is an Asshole!!
—When the Nerd reaches the end of the disappearing block sequence.
Matthew Lentz: I'm Matthew Lentz! I won the pre-order competition to be in the game!
Nerd: Weren't you supposed to be here at launch?
Matthew Lentz: The spam folder can be a bitch!
Nerd: Weren't you supposed to be here at launch?
Matthew Lentz: The spam folder can be a bitch!
—When finding the cameo area of Matthew Lentz.
Nerd: A silver surfboard, huh? I got a pretty fuckin' bad feeling about this...
—When the Nerd rides the silver surfboard.
WDULTFB: Where did you learn how to fly??
—When the Nerd starts facing Skylar, aka the Where-Did-You-Learn-to-Fly Bitch.
WDULTFB: My children!! Now you will learn to DIE!!
—When the Nerd destroys the children of Skylar.
Nerd: WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO BE AN ASSHOLE?!
—After the Nerd defeats Skylar.
Blizzard of Balls
Nerd: A snow level! They're really bringing out the originality, aren't they?
—The Nerd when entering the level.
Egoraptor: Don't be a grump, take these!
Nerd: Thanks, Egoraptor. Now I'm not so grump!
Nerd: Thanks, Egoraptor. Now I'm not so grump!
—When finding the cameo area of Egoraptor.
Angry Joe: Items for ya, Nerd.
Nerd: Thanks, Joe.
Nerd: Thanks, Joe.
—When finding the cameo area of Angry Joe.
Thy Farts Consumed
Nerd: ...Welcome to Hell, I guess?
—The Nerd when entering the level.
Chad: Nerd! We've been sent to Video Game Hell for helping make this game!
Nerd: You bastards...
Stuttering Craig: At least there's free beer in Hell...
Nerd: You bastards...
Stuttering Craig: At least there's free beer in Hell...
—When finding the ScrewAttack cameo area.
Dungeons & Dickholes
Nerd: Oh, not a fucking fantasy level... At least this one isn't online.
—The Nerd when entering the level.
Nerd: WHAT THE FUCK!! ...Nope! Not going in there!!
—Said when encountering the over-the-top trap room in the remastered version of the game.
Mike: Hey! Nerd! You're here too!
Nerd: Hey Mike! Get your your [sic] ass here and help us out!
Nerd: Hey Mike! Get your your [sic] ass here and help us out!
—When finding and unlocking Mike.
Jim Sterling: I found all this shit! Thank God for me!
—When finding the Destructoid cameo area.
Beat It & Eat It
Nerd: What the hell happened to the graphics here? Is this supposed to be porno?
—The Nerd when entering the level.
Bullshit Man: Hey! Asshole! Get me out of this awful strip club! This is bullshit!!
I'm tagging along with you. Fuck this place. ...Load of bullshit.
I'm tagging along with you. Fuck this place. ...Load of bullshit.
—When finding and unlocking the Bullshit Man.
Boo! Haunted House
Nerd: Wow! I've always fuckin' loved not being able to see where i'm going! Thanks!
—The Nerd when entering the level.
Completionist: I, the Completionist, am in this game because I won a competition at PAX!!
Nerd: K... Nice wings.
Nerd: K... Nice wings.
—When finding the cameo area of The Completionist.
Pat: Did you get a golden NWC cartridge yet?
Nerd: Shut up, Pat. Thanks for the beers.
Nerd: Shut up, Pat. Thanks for the beers.
—When finding the cameo area of PatTheNESPunk.
Laughin' Jokin' Numbnuts
Nerd: A rainbow computer?? Is this where all this shit came from??
—The Nerd when entering the level.
Final boss: So you actually made it here, huh? You really are a fucking nerd.
Nerd: Who the fuck are you?
Final boss: It is I, your nemesis!
Nerd: ...
Fred Fucks: You don't fucking know do you?? I'm the programmer! Fred Fucks, motherfucker!
Nerd: AHAHA! Fred Fucks! What kind of name is that? Ahhhhhh, Fred Fucks.
Fred Fucks: SILENCE!! I made this world to show you what it's like to be part of a shitty game!
And now, to teach you a lesson!!
Nerd: Who the fuck are you?
Final boss: It is I, your nemesis!
Nerd: ...
Fred Fucks: You don't fucking know do you?? I'm the programmer! Fred Fucks, motherfucker!
Nerd: AHAHA! Fred Fucks! What kind of name is that? Ahhhhhh, Fred Fucks.
Fred Fucks: SILENCE!! I made this world to show you what it's like to be part of a shitty game!
And now, to teach you a lesson!!
—When encountering the level's boss (original).
???: HAHAHA! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY GAME, NERD?! REALLY "SUCKS YOU IN", DOESN'T IT!!
Nerd: You made this pile of anal waste?! ...Who the fuck are you?!
???: I'M ESPECIALLY PROUD OF ALL THE PISS AND SHIT AND DICKS!! IT'S ART, NERD! A FUCKING MASTERPIECE!
Nerd: A masterpiece of ASS! It's enough that you made such a pile of putrid ass-fungus... but when you pulled me inside, you made it personal!
Fred Fucks: YOU LITTLE FUCK!! YOU INSULTED ME? THE GREAT FRED FUCKS?? WELL-ENDOWED GAME DESIGN MASTERMIND??
Nerd: Ahaha! Fred Fucks?! What kind of a name is that? Haha! spoiler:Fred Fucks! Oh no, here comes FRED FUCKS! Bwahaha!!
Fred Fucks: SHUT THE FUCK UP!! I'M GOING TO SHOVE YOUR HEAD SO FAR UP YOUR ASSHOLE THAT YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SEE THE BACK OF YOUR TEETH!
Nerd: BRING IT ON, FUCKS!!
Nerd: You made this pile of anal waste?! ...Who the fuck are you?!
???: I'M ESPECIALLY PROUD OF ALL THE PISS AND SHIT AND DICKS!! IT'S ART, NERD! A FUCKING MASTERPIECE!
Nerd: A masterpiece of ASS! It's enough that you made such a pile of putrid ass-fungus... but when you pulled me inside, you made it personal!
Fred Fucks: YOU LITTLE FUCK!! YOU INSULTED ME? THE GREAT FRED FUCKS?? WELL-ENDOWED GAME DESIGN MASTERMIND??
Nerd: Ahaha! Fred Fucks?! What kind of a name is that? Haha! spoiler:Fred Fucks! Oh no, here comes FRED FUCKS! Bwahaha!!
Fred Fucks: SHUT THE FUCK UP!! I'M GOING TO SHOVE YOUR HEAD SO FAR UP YOUR ASSHOLE THAT YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SEE THE BACK OF YOUR TEETH!
Nerd: BRING IT ON, FUCKS!!
—When countering the level's boss (Deluxe).
