Gumshoe: Any real detective would look at his bandana!
Judge: Mmm, banana.
Edgeworth: That's bandana, Your Honor.
Judge: Right, his banana-scented bandana.
Judge: Mmm, banana.
Edgeworth: That's bandana, Your Honor.
Judge: Right, his banana-scented bandana.
"These are clothing that will look good in airports, restaurants, and airport restaurants."
— Katherine from "Stepchild", Classic Singapore Horror Stories
"Bill-Dipper! ...Bipper!"
— Mabel Pines, Gravity Falls, "Sock Opera"
Matt: I hope it's a dinosaur.
Pat: I hope it's a volcano.
Matt: I hope it's a volcanic dinosaur.
Pat: I hope it's a volcano.
Matt: I hope it's a volcanic dinosaur.
— Two Best Friends Play, Man vs. Wild playthrough when the ground starts to shake
Mr. Burns: I suggest you leave immediately.
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark they shoot bees at you? Well go ahead, do your worst!
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark they shoot bees at you? Well go ahead, do your worst!
— The Simpsons, "Burns' Heir"
Young Ned Flanders: WAH! I'm Dick Tracy! [kicks kid] Bam! Take that, Pruneface! Now I'm Pruneface! [pulls girl's hair] Take that, Dick Tracy! Now I'm Prune Tracy! [starts choking other kid] Take that, Dickf—
Scientist: Ned! Stop it at once!
Scientist: Ned! Stop it at once!
"Lungs, skin, lungs, skin... sklungs?"
— Dr. Gregory House, House
"Don't be cocky. Or sexist. Or cocky and sexist."
— Richard Hammond listing the "Dos and Don'ts" of the Sweeper Arm
"It's troubling that the symbol for "poison" and the symbol for "pirate" are the same. Sure, it saves printing costs if you're a poison pirate, but what about the rest of us?"
— Brunching Shuttlecocks, "Danger Symbols, Part 1
"
"C.C.: Do you know what would be great right now?
Zoro: Eating liquorice?
Luffy: Punching a swing set?
Suzaku: Eating liquorice?
Lelouch: Riding a hoverboard?
Suzaku: Eating liquorice while on a hoverboard?"
Zoro: No, punch the hoverboard, eat the swing set!
[Sometime later]
Lelouch: Okay. So we're all clear on this. The hoverboard is made of liquorice. We can punch it if we want to, but only if it's near a swing set. Is that good? Are we good?
Luffy: I like it.
Suzaku: Sounds good.
Zoro: Can the swing set hover?
Lelouch: AHHHHHH!
Zoro: Eating liquorice?
Luffy: Punching a swing set?
Suzaku: Eating liquorice?
Lelouch: Riding a hoverboard?
Suzaku: Eating liquorice while on a hoverboard?"
Zoro: No, punch the hoverboard, eat the swing set!
[Sometime later]
Lelouch: Okay. So we're all clear on this. The hoverboard is made of liquorice. We can punch it if we want to, but only if it's near a swing set. Is that good? Are we good?
Luffy: I like it.
Suzaku: Sounds good.
Zoro: Can the swing set hover?
Lelouch: AHHHHHH!
— None Piece/Code Ment "Fanfic Mode"
Hazmat Guy 1: Lunch? [] Mexican [] Chinese [] Pizza [] Hooker
Hazmat Guy 2: [] Chinese hooker.
Hazmat Guy 2: [] Chinese hooker.
— King City (quoting these two is a bit difficult, as they speak in check-off forms)
"What is this crap?!? What are you, a dentist? Or a hippie? Or some kind of hippie dentist?"
— Strong Bad (when given an apple on Halloween), Homestar Runner
Squidward: I could be a football player, or a king, or a spaceman.
SpongeBob: Or a football playing king in space... with a mustache.
SpongeBob: Or a football playing king in space... with a mustache.
"I get the feeling this game was made for people who like Star Wars and LEGOs, and especially Star Wars LEGOs..."
— Codiekitty, The Twenty Most Overrated Games I've Played, on LEGO Star Wars
, on LEGO Star Wars"The rest of the bosses [...] are boxy/spherical robots, ugly cartoon humans, or boxy/spherical robots being piloted by ugly cartoon humans I could barely tell apart from each other. And the final boss (a boxy ugly cartoon human robot) not only looks stupid, he's only remotely difficult until you figure out where to shoot..."
— the same person, during a review of Gunstar Heroes
Professor Genius: I am a professor. I am a genius. You may call me "Professor Genius."
Nostalgia Critic: Well, I find that name obnoxious. And uncreative. I'm going to call you "Obnoxiously Uncreative."
Nostalgia Critic: Well, I find that name obnoxious. And uncreative. I'm going to call you "Obnoxiously Uncreative."
Jhonen Vasquez: I needed to find an evil way to spend it so that Nickelodeon would be contributing to something unholy in the world.
Interviewer: What'd you spend it on?
Jhonen Vasquez: Just whores. Whores over on Sunset Boulevard and Santa Monica. Whores and robots. Some of the whores were robots.
Interviewer: What'd you spend it on?
Jhonen Vasquez: Just whores. Whores over on Sunset Boulevard and Santa Monica. Whores and robots. Some of the whores were robots.
"Why isn't prostitution legal? Selling is legal; fucking is legal. So why isn't selling fucking legal?"
"If there's two things I hate in this world, it's cockroaches and crying babies! [Beat] Well, a crying baby cockroach would be truly terrible..."
— Bayonetta, Bayonetta
"Relax, son. Enjoy every moment! You fight, then eat good food. You fight, then drink fine wine. You fight, then sleep with beautiful women. Hell, fight with beautiful women! That is what it means to live."
Drover: She had pretty brown eyes.
Hank: Were they pretty and brown or pretty brown? This could be important!
Drover: Both. They were pretty and brown. And pretty brown.
Hank: Were they pretty and brown or pretty brown? This could be important!
Drover: Both. They were pretty and brown. And pretty brown.
"Knock knock. It's the United States. With huge boats, with guns. Gunboats."
The Boss: Snake, remember the basics of CQC.
Naked Snake: OKAY! Knife. Gun. Knifegun!
Naked Snake: OKAY! Knife. Gun. Knifegun!
"Please note that Radio KoL is uncensored, unscripted, and is not intended for children or the easily offended. Or easily offended children."
— Nightly Maintenance note regarding RadioKol
"Never bring Time Travel, the Cthulu Mythos, or Giant Robots into an established setting, because if you do, all it will ever really BE about from then on, is Time Travel, or the Cthulu Mythos, or Giant Robots. Or Giant Robots traveling through time to fight the Cthulu Mythos."
[shoots] Ten! [misses] Shit! [shoots] Nine! [misses again] Fuck! [shoots] Eight! [misses a third time] Shit fuck!
— Deadpool, Deadpool (2016)
"AHH! My glamor shot! AHH! My tennis trophy! AHH! My glamor shot of my tennis trophy! NOOOOO!"
"Fate. Destiny. Fatestinatey. People toss those words around like tennis balls. Well, I eat balls for breakfast."
— Xavier, Xavier: Renegade Angel
"Oh no! A wrinkle! Oh no! A gray hair! OH NO! A WRINKLED GRAY HAIR!"
— Garfield
I'm sorry, I don't like being threatened. And I don't like insanely jealous guys. I especially don't like being threatened by insanely jealous guys.
— KET, Das Sporking, on Fifty Shades of Grey
"I stayed at the Animal Kingdom lodge in Disney. There were giraffes right outside my window. But by the end of the week, I was like, 'Mmm... giraffe again? How about a lion? How about a lion eating a giraffe? That would be magical, Disney."
Dr. John Collingwood: Well what sort of business are you in?
Weasel: Plumbing.
Krug Stillo: Insurance.
Estelle Collingwood: Well, which is it?
Sadie: You see, we're actually in both. We sell insurance to plumbing companies. You know, in case they steal some toilets or something.
Weasel: Plumbing.
Krug Stillo: Insurance.
Estelle Collingwood: Well, which is it?
Sadie: You see, we're actually in both. We sell insurance to plumbing companies. You know, in case they steal some toilets or something.
Rogal Dorn: Magnus, do you consume the taco on the friday or the tuesday?
Magnus: Taco tuesdays on friday.
Emperor: FUCK YOU. TURN THE CAST OFF RIGHT NOW.
Magnus: Taco tuesdays on friday.
Emperor: FUCK YOU. TURN THE CAST OFF RIGHT NOW.
"You can craft grenades, and sticky grenades, and remote grenades, and sticky remote grenades..."
— Zero Punctuation, on your combat options in Left Alive
Linda: It's not a race.
Bob: You're right, it's not a race. It's a war.
Gene: It's a race war!
Bob: Gene...
Bob: You're right, it's not a race. It's a war.
Gene: It's a race war!
Bob: Gene...
"I want to give flowers to someone, but he's only interested in puzzles... If only I could find a FLOWER PUZZLE or something... Maybe then he would notice me..."
— Daisy, OMORI
Lil DeVille: There's nothing worser than turning into a rock. 'Cept for maybe turning into mashed peas.
Phil DeVille: Or bat drool.
Both: Or mashed peas and bat drool.
Phil DeVille: Or bat drool.
Both: Or mashed peas and bat drool.
"She might banish you from Equestria! Or throw you in a dungeon! Or banish you and then throw you in a dungeon in the place that she banishes you to!"
— Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, "A Bird in the Hoof"
Brother Bear: It squawked.
Sister Bear: It whistled.
Brother Bear: Uh, that's right — it squawked and whistled.
Sister Bear: It whistled.
Brother Bear: Uh, that's right — it squawked and whistled.
— The Berenstain Bears, "The Berenstain Bears and the Truth"
"I've no idea who he is, or how he got in here. But he looks suspicious. And tall. Suspiciously tall!"
— Ryunosuke Naruhodo, The Great Ace Attorney, on seeing Herlock Sholmes for the first time
"Willy, don't go! What do you want, man? Money? Women? Is it hookers? I'll buy you a boat, I'll buy you a car! I'll buy you a boat full of hookers! We will call it the S.S. Hooker and we will sail the seven seas, with our hookers!"
— Hammer, Spriggs: a Halo 3 Machinima
Ocho, half-caf, latte, chino, mocha, dui, avec moi
My mouth can't form these words
My mind can't find these words
Is it French, or is it Italian?
Perhaps Fritalian
My mouth can't form these words
My mind can't find these words
Is it French, or is it Italian?
Perhaps Fritalian
Chester: You look positively popular! Where'd you get all this stuff?
Timmy: Internet. [beat] Uh... Inheritance. [beat] I inherited the internet!
Timmy: Internet. [beat] Uh... Inheritance. [beat] I inherited the internet!
"Jewels? Candy? Candy jewels?"
— Mayor Humdinger on the contents of a pinata, PAW Patrol
Nora and Raina wandered the streets together, chattering mindlessly about chocolate, butterflies, and chocolate butterflies.
"If it isn't my favorite trouble maker. I mean customer! Yes... My favorite troublemaking customer. How do you brew?"
— Lotus, Crush Crush
Future Trunks: Do you know why I brought you here?
Krillin: Snacks?
Gohan: To kill us?
Vegeta: To kill snacks!
Krillin: Snacks?
Gohan: To kill us?
Vegeta: To kill snacks!
Trini: It kinda sounds like a weird baby.
Tooey: I think it's an alien.
Oscar: What if it's an alien baby?
Tooey: I think it's an alien.
Oscar: What if it's an alien baby?
— Molly of Denali, "A Sound Idea"
"Life is sad.. prison is sad... life in prison is very, very saaaad!"
— Lumalee, The Super Mario Bros. Movie
"We got no food! We got no money! We got no money to buy food! We got no food to sell for money!"
— Mr. Shark, The Bad Guys (2022)
"It takes a lot of money to run a football club, and the only people in Bulgaria who had any money at the time were corrupt politicians, mafia bosses, and corrupt politicians who were also mafia bosses."
— HITC Sevens, "The Football League Destroyed by the Mafia"
"If you play pool, you're badass. If you're an assassin, you're badass. If you're British, you're badass. If you're a British assassin who kills people by using them as pool balls...Dear God."
