Quotes / Beware the Silly Ones

Comic Books

Washington: I trust you have a quip about my having just been "disarmed"?
Deadpool: Nope. No more jokes. My name is Wade Wilson. You killed my friend. Prepare to Die.

— Deadpool vol 3 #6

"You like burning?!? How about the burning inside your lungs as they choke for air?!? LIKE THAT?!?!?"

— Plastic Man to a villain that just set Martian Manhunter on fire

Fan Works

Normally, Pinkie's smiles were filled with cheer and endless joy. But just this once... just this once, she allowed herself a grin as grim and dark as the world she was in.
"iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT'S PARTY TIIIIIIIIIIME!"
The creature that exploded out of the barracks was nephrotic, glimmering, cackling, and dusky dusky pink.
Across the battlefield it charged and danced, smacking soldiers away from each other, long curling arms taking darkened helms and throwing them into the massive maw. Mad laughter spun about, the confused armies finding themselves wearing colorful conical hats that oh so incidentally kept them shielded from any assault. Even Celestia paused as the monstrosity whisked past her, blinking in shock when five eyes seemed to wink eagerly.
Sombra quickly rose up on his crystal, but it was no use. The thing crawled up and curled around it like a tower, sharp teeth exposed. "OH HO HO HO! SOMBRA, DEAR KING SOMBRA. Are you afraid?" Its voice suddenly dropped to velvet. "You're the guest of honor here, Sombra. You shouldn't be afraid... no, I have something special planned for you. You... should be... COMPLETELY TERRIFIED!"

— The MLP Loops

Henderson makes it home (about three blocks away) when he realizes something horrible. He totally fucking forgot about the lawn gnomes. He RUNS back to the still burning building, only to see the fire department has already arrived. They inform him that no gnomes were in the building that they can tell. On the one hand, he's relieved as fuck since he didn't lose the gnomes, and killing that many little people would probably constitute a hate crime.

Never mind that he totally just leveled a church with the speed and brutality of the fucking Spetsnaz.

— Old Man Henderson

"All too often, the stupid-looking enemies are the most dangerous because they've earned the right to look stupid."

— Jeremiah Cross, This Bites!

Film - Animation

Tai Lung: You can't defeat me. You're just a big, fat, panda!
Po: I'm not a big, fat panda. I'm the big, fat panda.

— Kung Fu Panda

Scorpion: Puerco? Hehehe, what are you, some kind of silly cartoon?
Spider-Ham: [offended] You got a problem with cartoons?

—- Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, which leads to Scorpion's defeat

"This is gonna be good for us, Spider-Man. You and me, we're finally gonna live up to our potential. You'll finally have a villain worth fighting AND I WON'T BE JUST A JOKE TO YOU!"

— The Spot to Miles Morales, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Literature

Thief: She plays it up well, the clumsiness and the slurring, but no matter how much hard liquor she puts away she’s never been more than tipsy.
William: You think she’s deceiving us,
Thief: I think she’s playing it up for her audience. Isn’t that what Bards do?
William: She’s a heroine. That much can’t be faked. Why would she bother to trick us when she’s on our side?
Thief: When we left for Summerholm, there were five heroes in our band. And we all knew going in that one of us would die to the Warlock – monsters like that don’t go easy. It couldn’t be you, because you have a mirror on the other side. Hunter was meant to be your right hand, ill-suited as he was to the role. You needed me to get into the city and to get out afterwards. That left...
William: Almorava and Simeon. Your point?
Thief: Both of them are bumblers. There was a redundancy. But how much of an impression did Conjurer make, compared to the Bard? He barely talked while she was always in the background, larger than life, drinking and badly strumming her lute.

— A Practical Guide to Evil

Yet it's very important not to underestimate men like Baxendale. A layman could easily write him off as ineffectual, a bit of a twit, but he has too much power to be written off like that. Because of what he does, he's a deadly son of a bitch. He can put you behind bars; he can arrange to have you dealt with in all kinds of ways. He may not really be up to his job, but he's the one doing it and he has the ear of people who can cause you a lot of grief.

— The Specialist, by Gayle Rivers

Live-Action TV

Davros: Still you play the fool.
The Doctor: Well, by now that should make you nervous.

— Doctor Who, "The Witch's Familiar"

"This one looks ridiculous, but he’s pretty strong."

— Ran when facing off against a pineapple themed Monster of the Week, B-Fighter Kabuto

Tabletop Games

The greatest villains do not look like villains, nor do they look like heroes. Instead, they look and act like harmless buffoons. They will not make you afraid, at least not at first. You will laugh at them and pity them, and convince yourself that they don’t really mean any harm, and couldn’t possibly hurt you even if they did.

It is not until afterwards, when your life lies in ruin and you realize that you truly have nothing else to live for, that you will fear them.

—New Fire: Temikamatl Book of Dreams

Video Games

Gangplank Galleon is what makes K. Rool a Nintendo character. Crocodile Cacophony is what makes him a Nintendo villain.

— A YouTube comment about King K.Rool, and how his themes represent his character

Of all the allies the hero would have on his long journey, few would be as odd as the self-described princess of the insect kingdom from the Era of Twilight. Agitha, as legends state, once asked the hero of her time to gather the Golden Bugs of the land for an elaborate party. This obsession with bugs has carried over into battle. During battle, Agitha will regularly skip around and collect bugs, and while this may seem out of place for a war, she will instantly change your mind when her friends are in danger.

— Loading screen description for Agitha in Hyrule Warriors

Be careful always! Miror B. might look like a clown, but his battling is all business.

— Duking, Pokémon Colosseum

Orie (entering the scene): Although she may be the Tenth Executor... it is only because when she was administered the test to determine her rank... Her answers were all off by one, and she failed. Her fighting ability, her strength, she is nearly unrivalled. She is the 'Ace' of the Licht Kreis. This is what happens when you use numbers to judge people based off of their title, Paradox.
Mika: That voice?! Could it be you, Orecchiette?! Y-You're alive?! You're amazing as usual, Orecchiette! I'm so touched I could cry!

— Under Night In-Birth

[Mii] is unusually focused!

— A Laid-back Mii activating their Get Serious quirk, Miitopia

With his true origins shrouded in mystery, the Joker is one of Batman's greatest ever foes; intent on spreading mirth and madness in equal measure. Despite his clownish appearance, this laughing lawbreaker has proven himself to be as clever as he is chaotic... and that's no joke.

— The Joker's bio, Lego DC Supervillains

Jevil: IT'S JUST A SIMPLE NUMBERS GAME. WHEN YOUR HP DROPS TO 0, YOU LOSE!
Susie: So that's the kinda game you wanna play, huh...? Then, I gotta warn you... (Brandishes her axe) You're dealing with a couple of sharks.
Jevil: (Laughing insanely) UEE HEE HEE! SHARK-TO-SHARK! I WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY! NOW, NOW!! LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!

— Deltarune, Jevil's pre-fight dialogue

A certain Heroic Spirit's subconscious that was actualized into existence after the Holy Grail went berserk... At least that's the general understanding, but this thing can grow or turn into a robot and there don't seem to be any rules about when it can do so. Contrary to their appearance, they are actually quite strong in battle, and their behavior in combat can be quite relentless. They're also totally not cute...

— Description of the Mini Nobu joke-enemy type, Fate/Grand Order

Web Animation

"Don't underestimate Nintendo's powerful plumber."

— Boomstick, talking about Mario, DEATH BATTLE!

"This is one of the awkward things about comparing heroes from different franchises. Cable may be a gritty badass and Booster may be a silly goofball, but those distinctions mostly matter in their own worlds. In Death Battle, we have to compare them directly, and sometimes that means a hero no one's ever heard of, wins."

— Wiz, DEATH BATTLE!

Western Animation

"Databases updated. Subject upgraded to a level 87 threat level. Next time, I'll destroy you first, Plastic Man."

— Brainiac, Justice League Action

"Are you going to fight me, boy?"

— Brainthor to The Flash, seconds before the latter taps into the Speed Force and rips the villain apart with his bare hands, Justice League

"I was told Shego was in trouble! WHERE IS THIS AVIARIUS?!"

— Dr. Drakken after being requested for backup, Kim Possible

"YOU! You can't even IMAGINE what you just cost me! Do you have any idea what I'm like WHEN I'M MAD??!!"

— Bill Cipher, Gravity Falls

Pigeon: Hey, were you scared?
Marquess of Queensbury: When the tree came to life?
Pigeon: Oh no, earlier, when Mike almost beat the shit out of you. I mean that was crazy. You know he could fucking kill you. He could kill all of us. Sometimes I think we forget, that that's Mike Tyson!

— Mike Tyson Mysteries

Real Life

Johnson is the most dangerous prime minister to have presided over the UK in the democratic era. Electors are disarmed by his impression of bonhomie and bumbling, and imagine he’s in it for the bants. But if the history of the past 100 years tells us anything, it’s beware of the clowns. Again and again we have seen the warning signs: the bumbling is an act, a studied imitation of spontaneity and ineptitude. He will go to extraordinary lengths to grasp and maintain power.

— George Monbiot, "This Is the Moment", on a 2021 British government bill that, among other things, would expand acts that could be criminalised to include "interfering with the operation of key infrastructure"

"It's hard to wrap your head around Genki Sudo. He spent most of his fights grinning, dancing, or checking to see if Bruce Lee moves actually worked. Then he retired to start a robot techno band and write free-spirit books like Let's Be, Cat! He started his fights by leading a parade of costumed dancers to the ring and ended them by holding up a friendship flag. My point is, he behaves strangely for a man who kicks people for a living. [...] Despite his manic pixie dreaminess, Sudo was always a beast with his grappling. As soon as he stopped doing the cha cha and took a fight to the ground, he went after his opponent like a squid beating its wife."

— Seanbaby, The 9 Most Creative MMA Attacks Ever

[MC Hammer] may not have been a thug, but he was from the streets and 'cuz he was generous enough to employ his entire neighbourhood, he had all sorts of gang connections and he was not afraid to use them. Many of the people who stepped to him have stories about coming close to death because they beefed with Hammer.

— Todd in the Shadows, TRAINWRECKORDS: "The Funky Headhunter" by MC Hammer

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