Baby Don't Got Back

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda
Playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun!

— Sir Mix-A-Lot

Some people like big butts. And they cannot lie. Which makes someone's lack of derriere all the more noticeable. This trope comes up when a character is made fun of or feels insecure about their small butt.

This is most often Played for Laughs, though on some occasions it came be Played for Drama for characters very sensitive about it, to the point of Appearance Angst. For black and Latina women, this is a sore spot as they are stereotyped as having the Impossible Hourglass Figure. Despite this, this trope isn't Always Female, as men can have angst about their butts being small. The person bringing it up could just be a peer, but if somebody is rejected as a sexual partner for this reason, it overlaps with You're Not My Type.

See A-Cup Angst and Teeny Weenie for worries about how other parts don't measure up. Contrast Comically Oversized Butt.

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Examples:

Anime & Manga

• In Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero, Bulma uses one of Shenron's wishes to make her butt bigger.

Comedy

• Aisha Tyler incorporates jokes relating to this trope into her stand-up routines, including writing a song called "No Ass At All", and warning the audience as she prepares to turn around not to freak out: yes, she is a black woman; yes, she has no ass; yes, she is aware of this.

Comic Books

• In one Strangers in Paradise storyline, body-conscious Francine decides to join a gym. She's impressed with her trainer Monica's muscular arms, but then...
  Francine: (narrating) Then I saw her butt. Or should I say, I didn't see it! I swear to God, the woman had no butt!
  Monica: (notices Francine staring) Something the matter? Do I have something on my pants?
  Francine: Huh? Uh... no. Sorry.

Fan Works

• Total Drama Returns: In Chapter 34, Chef is making the campers do Pilates exercises. Noah isn't moving at all, so Chef emphasizes the importance of having a big butt to him.
  Chef: No you ain't! Listen, a man your age needs a nice, firm, juicy butt. You can't be havin' no bony butt, turkey! Ain't no girls gonna be after you if you ain't got a butt! But the only way you get that is through exercises like this!
  Noah: (sarcastically) Oh yeah, having a firm butt is totally an important thing to me.
  Chef: Good! Then get moving!
  Izzy: I agree with Chef. You need to get a butt before we can date, Noah.
  Ezekiel: Yeah, you need a butt, Noah.
  Noah: Wow, this conversation has suddenly gone off the deep end of awkwardness.

Film

• In the movie Alleen Maar Nette Mensen, the main character develops a Race Fetish for black women after he finds himself no longer attracted to his skinnier white girlfriend. In a subversion of a Does This Make Me Look Fat? scene, he just sadly replies that no, her butt does not look bigger in those pants.
• The Last Seduction: When Bridget tries the Vamp routine on the black Harlan, he initially blows her off, complaining that white women have "no ass". He does give in her to her demands to see his supposedly huge dick, apparently more out of wounded ego than a real desire for Bridget specifically.
• The Master of Disguise: The main female lead, Jennifer Baker, is mocked by the main protagonist and his grandfather for having a small butt.

Fan Works

• Played for Laughs in Promstuck. Terezi is described as having a butt so bony and sharp that it has injured other people, and it's drawn as a triangle. Dave is nevertheless very attracted to her ass-lack, and Karkat calls him out for being too busy scoping out something non-existent (her butt) to help him.

Literature

• In The Clique, Alpha Bitch Massie usually finds every reason to laugh at her Beta Bitch Claire, but secretly envies her butt.
• Whateley Universe: Lamprey dislikes that she lost size in her boobs and butt when she mutated.

Live-Action TV

• 1000 Ways to Die: One story has a woman hiring a doctor to make her butt bigger to attract more men using silicone injections. Said doctor however, is a complete fraud, and instead of using actual silicone, injects bathroom caulk into her. She eventually dies because some of the caulk was injected directly into her bloodstream, causing massive blood clots to form, almost completely cutting off blood flow to her whole body.
• Angel: In Season 4, Wesley and Lilah are an item when she discovers he secretly has feelings for Fred. She deals with this by seducing him while dressed as Fred, impersonating her accent while saying things like, "And if I'm a good girl and eat all my vegetables, I might get hips."
• The first episode of Degrassi: Next Class (a Soft Reboot of Degrassi: The Next Generation), sees Shay insecure about her rear end (described by her friend as "the butt of a four-year-old"), especially since her crush Tiny, likes women with voluptuous figures. Predictably, this leads to Shay using padding to make her hips bigger and there was a chemical spill accident in chemistry on her pants which...you can predict the rest.
• In the iCarly episode "iDo", while rattling off a list of Spencer's flaws, Sam mentions that he has a flat butt. Spencer immediately thinks she went too far.
  "C'mon it's like two fresh apples back here!"
• The Kill Point: Brought up when Horst Cali is replaced as the leading hostage negotiator by a female FBI Agent. The SWAT captain, a Sassy Black Woman, tells Cali in private that the Agent has a flat ass.
• Mystery Science Theater 3000 S08 E14: Riding with Death: Tom Servo builds a new trucker body for himself, but Mike doesn't approve of the bow-legged, assless redneck look.
  Tom: Ah, you're just jealous, Nelson! I have a fine butt! You wish you had my butt! I like my butt! [swivels head around] Yeah, I like you, butt.
• In Scrubs, Elliot having a "flat butt" is something of a Running Gag throughout the series. Zig-zagged, however, in that numerous characters (including J.D.) are noted to be quite fond of her backside in spite of this.
• She's Gotta Have It: Shemekka, one of Nola's friends, is an exotic dancer who's insecure about her flat butt. She starts getting illegal silicone injections in her butt over a couple episodes to make it bigger. Naturally, at her debut at a club, everything goes wrong when she slips and falls on the stage right on her butt — and her butt bursts, drenching the audience in silicone. This later turns toward drama as the injections have caused her to get an infection in her bloodstream, and she gets hospitalized. She recovers, and helps in a sting to bring down the suppliers with the police after finally accepting her body.
• One episode of MTV's True Life is focused on this, titled "I Hate My Butt."

Music

• Your Favorite Martian has a song that is presented as a jingle for an ass implant store, promising patrons that they'll "Have double-D's in the front and the back!"

Professional Wrestling

• Texas Cocktail Waitress turned CTPW Women's Champion Venus considers herself the ideal of Latin beauty, boasting to be strong but soft in all the right places...but would rather not talk about her ass, or rather the fact she has none.

Theatre

• In A Chorus Line, in the number "Dance 10, Looks 3", Val sings about how she repeatedly loses dance parts due to her flat chest and small butt. Once she got plastic surgery and increased the size of her assets, she started getting plenty of parts.
  "Tits and ass have changed my liiiiiiiiife!"

Video Games

• In Final Fantasy XIV, Serendipity is self-conscious about her looks, especially when her robotic assistant Gigi is constantly insulting her small breasts and especially her rear. She angrily tells him to stop talking about her... body parts before remembering that she's in the middle of evaluating your work.

Web Original

• In the Dream SMP roleplay universe, this is most likely invoked by Schlatt, who effectively demoted Quackity (also his partner and Noble Top Enforcer) to a Vice President Who? and eye candy by the time their coalition won the L'Manburg elections, saying he just had to "sit there and have a fat ass". Then, in an act of Domestic Abuse, Schlatt proceeded to mock him for allegedly having a "flatty patty", among many, many other things. It's ultimately Played for Drama, as those two words end up becoming one of Quackity's Trauma Buttons and his relationship trauma becomes a major plot point in the seasons afterward.
• As put by YouTuber Ruthbell:
  My booty don't jiggle jiggle
  It's flat
  You wanna see it wiggle wiggle
  Too bad
  I mean, I may be flat in the front AND in the back
  But my personality is THICC
  And my heart is even thicker
  

Western Animation

• American Dad!: One episode has Steve distressed over having a flat ass, desperately looking for a way to make it bigger by eating donuts. In the end however, Steve decides he doesn't need to have a large ass to be attractive and abandons his plans and leaves the donut shop (although he left half a dozen people in there to die in a fire while making a call to 911 before getting distracted by his epiphany).
• One segment of Beavis and Butt-Head has Beavis trying to learn how to "shake his meat" from an online video. Butt-Head comments "You have no ass. You look like somebody shoved a pair of legs into a back".
• Death in Family Guy remarks on how he has no ass (because he has no flesh) when Peter takes him shopping for new clothes.
• Futurama: In "Parasites Regained," Leela, Bender, and Zoidberg grab onto Fry's pants while hanging off a cliff, only for his pants to fall down. Leela chastises him for not wearing a belt, while Bender calls out that he doesn't even have a substantial butt.
  Fry: Sorry, guys. I'm a flatty.
• In a Sniz and Fondue segment on Kablam, Sniz complains that as a result of his "gluteus minimus", he can't find any jeans that fit him, which prompts Fondue to start a new career as a fashion designer, beginning with him designing a pair of jeans that fit Sniz.
• Famously, Hank Hill from King of the Hill. There's been jokes thrown his way all through the series about his lack of ass, and at least one entire episode about it where he's diagnosed with "diminished gluteal syndrome" (which seems inspired by an actual condition). Outside the show, his small butt has been the subject of Memetic Mutation for years.
• South Park: According to Wendy's rant in "The Hobbit" about all the girls' flaws and imperfections, Heidi Turner apparently has a flat butt.

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