Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and your LIFE IS OVER. AGAIN.
"This is a story about love. This is a story about betrayal. A story of heterosexuality, Heee Haw, and growing up. This is a story about prom."
—Official Summary
—Official Summary
Welcome to Promstuck
, a completely ridiculous Homestuck fanadventure created by Shelby “No Cool Nickname”, urbanAnchorite and hilarity option Cephied Variable, illustrated by the former and written by the latter two (with a great deal of content to still be blamed on Shelby). Please be prepared for an adventure full of hilarious japes and gentle frivolity, such as punch-spiking, dance-interrupting, fondly admiring ass-lacks, and the Unbearable Karkat Vantasness of Being. It is important to note that this is based off the Marchingstuck continuity, so if you are baffled as to why this High School AU constantly brings musical instruments into everything, Marchingstuck may be worth a read. Perhaps you are baffled anyways. This is normal.
Promstuck functions like a 'classic' fan adventure: many of its commands were submitted by the readers, which the team dutifully followed. This can explain the reasons as to why the characters die, offer everyone they meet bacon and jelly sandwiches and seem to be propelled around by Hearts Boxcars (you wouldn't believe the number of times Hearts Boxcars seems to pop up in the commands box).
This is a labour of love, and also a labour of affectionate, nonsensical parody.
Links of interest:
- Completed Acts of Promstuck archived at AO3
- Marchingstuck Logs: One, Two, Prom, Final?
- Marchingstuck tumblr: fuckyeahmarchingstuck
CRISIS MODE! PRESS A PRESS A
- All There in the Manual: Most of the information about the marchinstuck universe can be found in the form of chat logs posted by the authors.
- And Knowing Is Half the Battle: One update featured John giving a "The More You Know"-style PSA about teen drinking and not spiking your friends' drinks, even if you think it's for a good reason.
- Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?: The reason why Vriska tapes up Kanaya is because as a rainbow-drinker Vriska anticipates her over-powering her and taking her with vampiric passion. Kanaya points out she's being racist, and asks her to stop with the sexy poses.
- Author Avatar: HELLO, LADIES. The fic's three authors show up to the dance to kick out Doc Scratch and stop him from dominating the narrative.
- Baby Don't Got Back: Terezi is described as having a butt so bony and sharp that it has injured other people, and it's drawn as a triangle. Dave is nevertheless very attracted to her ass-lack, and Karkat calls him out for being too busy scoping out something non-existent (her butt) to help him.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: Terezi wants her own POV in the adventure and she will break the fourth wall to get it.
- The Bus Came Back: In the end, we find out what happened to Kanaya, Vriska took her and taped her to a chair. Rose breaks her out, Kanaya rips off the tape and punches Vriska.
- Butt-Monkey: Doc Scratch gets maced by Terezi and hit with a broom by one of the authors.
- Cannot Spit It Out: Karkat just can't seem to tell John how he feels.
- Characterization Marches On: When Eridan has the chance to be happy together with Karkat, he gives it up because he realizes Karkat will never be truly happy with him.
- Cheshire Cat Grin: Feferi sports a nice one here
- Fake First Kiss: John kisses Karkat three times with extremely flimsy excuses without realizing his attraction: in gym class as "CPR", during a theater rehearsal due to "the magic of theater" (they were both tech staff), and another time while drunk "to practice for when we have girlfriends".
- Foregone Conclusion: All the readers know that Karkat and John will definitely get together at the end. The fun part is finding out how.
- Game Over: Happened three times so far, but luckily the players have the option to start over from the last page.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: John seems to have a strong case of this
- Hero Antagonist: Played for Laughs. The only real "villains" of the story who Kanaya (and later Eridan) are trying to save prom from are Dad Egbert and Mom Lalonde, acting as chaperones to keep the prom-goers from making out with each other. Later Doc Scratch arrives to fill in for them after Bro leads them away from the prom, until Feferi maces him.
- Idiot Ball: John's failure to realize his feelings for Karkat defies reason and believability. It's one thing to be a in denial of your homosexuality, and another thing to be in denial of your homosexuality when you are constantly kissing and groping a member of the same sex.
- Somewhat averted with the latest reveal that John knew exactly what he was doing, but was suffering from severe Gayngst.
- Somewhat averted with the latest reveal
- Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Eridan somehow managed to put a flagpole through Kanaya's abdomen by accident.
- Impossibly Tacky Clothes: Terezi's entire wardrobe apparently.
- Intermission: Vriska's Sexy Sex Tips for Having Sexy Sex
- I Warned You: Being Omniscient, Doc Scratch did warn Snowman that making out on Jack's car would have her expensive dress get a tear from rust, but she didn't listen.
- Kill It with Fire: Eridan convinces Nepeta to do this, she kills everyone and results in a game-over.
- Kissing Under the Influence: John and Karkat do so on the Disney Trip
- Kiss of Life: John practiced giving CPR to Karkat in Gym class.
- Know-Nothing Know-It-All: In-Universe, Eridan self-admits to not knowing Trollita but he compares his relationship to Mr. Noir as the same one to the characters."Mr. Noir won’t even be your stand-in lusus despite being the Humbert Humbert to your Trollores Haze. You’ve never actually read Trollita but you are sure it is heartwarming."
- Lady Drunk: Karkat describes Ms. Lalonde as "a woman as curvaceous and cunning as she is DRUNK."
- Moment Killer: BUTT TOUCH
- Oblivious to Love: John.
- One True Threesome: In the finale, Nepeta/Jade/Equius and Aradia/Vriska/Tavros.
- One chapter implies this about Dad, Mom and Bro.
- Organ Theft: Subverted. It appears that Snowman has done this to Jack, except that he's a carapace and doesn't have kidneys anyway.
- Not a Date: John and Karkat went to prom together as Just Friends. Really.
- Parody Sue: Shelby's fantroll, Duchess Saucereyes.
- Platonic Life-Partners: John and Vriska; Karkat and Kanaya.
- Prom Is for Straight Kids: Averted.
- Put on a Bus: Kanaya is kidnapped halfway through the story. That is the last we see of her. ...Until the epilogue, where we learn that Vriska has been telling her the whole plot... giving Eridan time to become Savior Of Prom instead of her.
- Sex Miseducation Class: Vriska gives John a book of 'Sexy sex tips for having sexy sex'. Naturally, the fic informs us that she's actually a virgin.
- She Is All Grown Up: Hello John.
- Shipper on Deck: Several. Jade and Vriska ship John/Karkat.
- Ship Tease:
- Shotgun Wedding: One of the Bad Ends involves Equius threatening Karkat into marrying Nepeta because he accidentally brushed against her butt.
- Shout-Out: To Cities in Dust here
- And then John got drunk and became Tamaki
- A reference is made to The Twilight Saga here, when Karkat and Kanaya become moirails.
- And here's where Nepeta morphed into Sephiroth.
- And to Sailor Moon here
- Goblet of Sick Fires is referenced here, with art courtesy of the author himself!
- And The Sims, of all things, here.
- Spoof Aesop: Eridan interprets Doc Scratch's genuine good advice (that you should accept when there's something you can't possibly have or do and move on with your life rather than obsessing over it) as "if something's kind of hard just don't bother".
- Transparent Closet: It seems like the entire school is aware of John's attraction to Karkat. I guess there's only so much ass-grabbing you can do before people start to talk.
- Unexplained Recovery: Kanaya was killed by Eridan in a color guard practice accident. Then she became a rainbow drinker.
- Waxing Lyrical: Karkat refused to speak to Terezi in anything other than breakup song lyrics for three weeks after they broke up.
- We Need a Distraction: Rose provides one by calling Bro and convincing him to find a way to get Mom and Dad to leave.
- Victoria's Secret Compartment: Kanaya kept her money in there, and Terezi hid the booze she used to spike the punch there too
- Yaoi Fangirl: Jade seems to be very fond of the idea of seeing John and Karkat kiss.
==>YOU HAVE DIED: ABORT/RESTART/RETRY?
