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Haiku / Azumanga Daioh

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    Nyperold's Vast Collection of 'Azumanga Daioh!' Haikus 
Teacher's chain comes off
When a student stops to help
Takes the bike and rides

Just in time for class
Three sizes are a secret
But it's the wrong room

New transfer student
Good thing in a small package
She's just ten years old?!?

Cooking is so fun
Yay, it's ready! Or is it
Not cooking at all?

Master and student
Chihiro's helping Chiyo?
Other way around

Making her own lunch
And string figures, good at them
Not tongue twisters, though

Forgotten homework
Chiyo cowers at the front
Tap power reduced

Cooking is so fun
Yay, it's ready! Cookies, cake!
Don't tell them to wait!

Sakaki's scary
Vet, florist, stuffed toy vendor?
Maybe really nice...

Sakaki is cool
So say all the other girls
...What was that cute thing?

"Are you in a club?
I'm in astronomy club.
Would you be..." *runs off*

What a nice spring day!
Look, a doggie being walked!
Stretch, and then go run

Oh, hey, it's a cat
Should I try to pet it? Yeah.
What could it hurt— *CHOMP*

"Why's your hand wrapped up?"
"Maybe he was in a mood."
"Did she have a fight?"

The same cat again
Good mood? A second attempt
Ends up the same way

Tomo Takino
Hyper is her middle name
Or just "Wildcat"

Yukari? I'm late!
Standing out in the hallway
Not that teacher cares

Lasting five minutes,
Then ten, fifteen, and twenty,
At which point she falls

Challenging Chiyo
Neither know the answer. Yay!
Now she says they're tied

Going out for bread
A speedy return! Too bad
No one was timing

Racing Sakaki
Starting with an advantage
Moving mountains back

Tomo's in the lead?
Not for long; she falls behind
She's the runner-up!

Another transfer
But she comes from Osaka
A new tsukkomi?

Introductions made
Teacher expects Kansai-ben?
Reluctantly done

Osaka busts myths
Takoyaki expected
"Nandeyanen?" "YAY!"

Get it together
Paying attention in class? No.
Busy saying it

Nickname acquired
But it's after her hometown
Now it's stuck for good

Follow Osaka
Watch her wait at the crosswalk
Whoops, it's red again...

Notice Chiyo-chan
She's a super-smart student
Not a smart aleck

Osaka's spacey?
Soap slips, and handkerchief falls
Now it's soaking wet

Those tiny bubbles
In my eyes make me track 'em
And miss everything

A scream? Huge cockroach!
Tomo pursues, swatting friends
Before killing it

Now it's on her book
Yukari cannot advise
Too squeamish to help

Osaka races
Chiyo is slightly faster
Is she just too smart?

Now for volleyball
Splitting into groups of six
What? Ten million yen?

Served by Chihiro
Chiyo and Yomi set up
Sakaki's great spike

What's Osaka's aim?
To be just like Sakaki
Not to take her out

Tomo's power serve
Pegs the back of Chiyo's head
Will she be okay?

Overhead passing
Osaka and Chiyo-chan
Get their facials here

Osaka totters
Balanced badly, scaring them
Until she sits down

Opening her lunch
Tomo finds a nice surprise
All her top three foods!

Concentrating hard
Osaka pulls carefully
Splits her chopsticks clean

Yomi likes spicy
Osaka can't handle it
Mischievous Yomi

Osaka tries it
Now her mouth is burning up
Then she has hiccups

Try drinking some juice
Now with plugged up ears and nose
But it doesn't work

Balanced on chopsticks?
The cup falls off, spilling juice
Time for music class

Hiccups don't help out
Playing a wind instrument
Will you knock that off?!?

Osaka's hiccups
Have stayed over two hours
Will she die today?

Next, the fear gambit
Please, Osaka, be afraid!
Chiyo's not scary

Smacking on the back
Isn't good at curing them
That's when you're choking

Spasms in the diaphragm
Punch in the solar plexus
Just puts her in pain

Sakaki chimes in
She has a folk remedy
Just brew some kaki

Ah, the classic cure
Holding your breath for a time
Whoops, that went too fast

Push on the eyeballs
And when that doesn't do it
Pull on her tongue. Ow!

Give it to someone?
Sounds a bit hokey, but still —
Don't give it to me!

Could be that she's sick
What might be the problem here?
Probably the brain

While they discuss
Chiyo notices they've stopped
But what was the cure?

All's well that ends well
Except Chiyo has them now?
Try it all again!

Sharks and dolphins are
Fish and mammals, so therefore
Snails are insects?

Osaka's trying
To instigate a punch line
But they don't know it

Chiyo's pigtails
Connected, detachable?
Could she get new ones?

Jolted from her thought
Osaka's shaken awake
Hey! Don't fall asleep!

Chiyo is called in
Kurosawa-sensei gives
her her new swimsuit

Yukari comes in
Talks about going drinking
Now is not the time

"Nyamo"? What's that?
Kurosawa's old nickname
Don't use it at work

Yukari's messy
But she can find everything
...The dictionary?

Starts an avalanche
Chiyo holds it up, but then
is buried... again

Tomo and Yomi
Outrank teachers easily
In terms of classmates

Chiyo doesn't have
Any classmates from past grades
Isn't that a shock

Tomo tells of bread
that evolved into monsters
...It was made up, right?

Minamo begins
To tell about Yukari
But Yukari sings

Who is Nyperold?!
Azumanga's only fan?!
TOMO could do this!

"Reindeer don't exist,"
Says Tomo. Yet she is wrong.
Wails, "I'm not stupid!"

Nyamo is drunk
And sharing some deep wisdom.
Chiyo is baffled.

Wow, there's a lot here!
So many clever haikus
About this weird show.

Okinawa mountains
Home to wildcats and trees
And Sakaki's pet

"We're Team Seaslug!" "What?!"
"But why?! They're so..." [a brief pause]
"Go Team Seaslug!" "Yay..."

Farewell to their school
Yet they will all still be friends
Even with Tomo

—/Bobbk

Why do you all think
"Nyamo" has three syllables?
Nya. Mo. Only two.

Creepy orange cat...
Sakaki believes he is
Chiyo's real father.

Summer vacation!
Tomo throws the keys away.
Everyone is pissed.

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