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Funny / Yakuza: Like a Dragon

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This looks familiar...
Like a Dragon is bar none the wackiest mainline installment in the series, and as such, there are plenty of laughs to be had, even within the main story itself! We here at TV Tropes highly advise against drinking anything during these scenes, as you might get a wet nose *  by the end of this.

This video basically sums up what you'll be looking forward to...

    open/close all folders 

    Story 

  • What are Ichiban's first words in the entire franchise? Well...
    Ichiban: Wait, dammit! Dubbed 
    Ushio: What, and let myself get caught?! Not by a cumstain like you! Dubbed 
    • Really, the entire opening chase scene after the prologue that introduces Arakawa is downright hilarious, especially the fact that Ushio was scamming horny kids by selling them, as Ushio said it, "Animal fuck videos"note ... something that even Ichiban wasn't really too fond of.
    • Even funnier is that the reason this is a yakuza matter, the horny teenagers that thought were buying smut went to the Arakawa family to cry about it so Ichiban was tasked with stopping it.
  • Ichiban thinking there's trouble in Shangri-La... only to realize that, much to his annoyance, the toilet is clogged. What's even funnier is that the worker at Shangri-La recounts the times that Ichiban's had his own share of accidents, some as late as the fifth grade, simply because he couldn't be bothered to get a toilet plunger! Naturally, Ichiban corrects the worker that it was less because he wasn't potty trained and more because of the fact that his stomach was killing him... and that it was only once.
  • During Chapter 1, which takes place on New Year's Eve 2000, Arakawa will follow Ichiban to get some Peking duck in Kamurocho. The funny part comes from the fact that, if you sprint towards Theater Square to where the restaurant is, Arakawa (despite being 41 at the time) will run behind Ichiban too! And that's not taking into account his status as the Oyabun of his own family, either.
  • Why Ichiban is an Afro Asskicker. Shortly after being released from prison, he goes to the barber to get his old punch perm back, only to be saddled with an inexperienced hairdresser who ends up giving him his now signature messy afro by complete accident. And he goes through the rest of the game with what's basically a botched haircut! Adachi's reaction to this is also icing on the cake. It's a wonder why Ichiban didn't fix it later on.
    • Ichiban isn't safe from snide remarks about his hair, either. Even Masato takes a jab at his haircut after he threatens him with the recording.
      Masato: Of course, if I were him, I might've combed my hair before I got on national television!
  • Adachi trying to console Ichiban over what happened with Arakawa and the Tojo Clan, which sees the former being serious with the latter until…
    Adachi: You feeling all right…?
    Ichiban: Nothing is fucking all right!
    Adachi: (dropping the consolitary tone and expression as if expecting this) Yeah. Didn't think so.
    • Hell, Ichiban and Adachi arguing the whole road trip to Ijincho is full of amusement for the player, including Ichiban going into denial about Arakawa's betrayal and taking a jab at Adachi being a "real cop" ("Ohh! Is that right?!").note 
  • After Ichiban gets accustomed to Ijincho, Nanba tries to hide him from some (later revealed to be bottom-of-the-barrel) thugs that are shaking down homeless people for money. The best possible solution that Nanba has for this is to hide Ichi in a box that is conveniently large enough for him to hide in. It works out as you'd expect, though not for lack of Ichiban trying; the thugs just take this opportunity to violate Nanba's privacy and recieve a cheerfully-angry yakuza for their troubles. When Ichiban jumps out of the box...
    Ichiban: Well, hello~! Dubbed  (*BAM.*)
  • After Ichiban and Nanba do some favors for Hamako, she provides the two with a room to clean (and later, to live in). The kicker comes when you remember that Hamako runs a brothel. And, well, one of the tissues that Ichiban and Nanba just so happen to pick up leaves little to the imagination. That's not the end of it, though: when Kume and some Japan Bleachers drop by Hamako's brothel to protest, Ichiban easily quiets down the crowd by threatening to drop a bucketful of CUM TISSUES at them! Hamako's reaction (being both funny and heartwarming) also takes the cake!
    • When Ichiban and Nanba see the tissues, Nanba, with clear disgust, insists that Ichiban handle them despite picking up trash being HIS job. Nanba retorts that he isn’t comfortable with bodily fluids, which is quite ironic given he was previously a registered nurse.
  • Ichiban, understandably, has no idea what GPS is, as Adachi explains that this is how he managed to track Ichiban down to Yokohama. Leading to this response -
    Ichiban: …Dude, what the fuck?
  • The entire scene where Ichiban gains the Hero class. Ichiban, Nanba, and Adachi, on their way to Hello Work, come across a baseball bat stuck on the ground. Ichiban naturally asks why a bat would be stuck to the floor, to which Nanba guesses that might be a prank. Nanba tries to pull the bat out of the ground (the way in which he tries to pull it out may or may not be an Accidental Innuendo) to pawn it but to no avail. Adachi also tries his luck to pull the bat out of the ground, but of course, it still won't budge. Ichiban then tries his luck and, after a little elbow grease, manages to pull out the bat from the pavement, leading to him channeling his inner chuuni as he holds it over his head like he's King Arthur after he just pulled out Excalibur from the stone! Afterward, the three take some time to lampshade and have fun with the whole 'Only the Chosen May Wield' schtick before being faced with some Dad Hunters that suddenly turn into the enemies that we would come to face for the rest of the game.
  • Nonomiya's introduction is him answering the phone showing what an asshole he can be. He tells a girl with a broken faucet to just reuse the dirty water and disguise it with a bath bomb. Nanoha called out because of period cramps. Problem is she used that same excuse two weeks ago. He tells her to either come up with better excuses or, if she's telling the truth, go see a doctor because that sounds like a serious medical problem.
  • During their infiltration of Sunlight Castle, Ichiban, Adachi, and Nanba get temporary jobs via a contractor courtesy of Hello Work. Nanba, being an ex-nurse, gets assigned as a medical assistant while Adachi, who is a former cop, gets assigned to a security guard. So what job does Ichiban (being an ex-Yakuza) get? Cleaning toilets.
  • When Ichiban, Nanba, and Adachi are infiltrating the Seiryu Clan's HQ, they jump out the window to hide from some thugs chasing them. The thugs pass, completely missing Ichi and Adachi, who are hiding above the windows. Once they drop down (in Adachi's case, falls on his ass), Ichiban gives the all-clear for Nanba to emerge from a cardboard box that the thugs didn't blink twice at.
  • After the above, when Ichiban, Nanba, and Adachi return to Otohime Land to let Nonomiya know that Nanoha's father should be safe and sound, they are greeted with the sight of Nonomiya's corpse dangling from the ceiling. That's a pretty morbid sight to behold. What's the name of the achievement that you get for completing the chapter, though? Soap On a Rope!
  • Nanba having the luxury of taking a bath in Otohime Land sounds quite nice given his circumstances. But then...
    Nanba: Shit! I thought this fucking lube was shampoo!
  • There's something oddly hilarious about an excavator of all things being one of the tougher bosses in the game... at least for the unprepared, that is. Doubly so since this is during Chapter 6 when Ichiban and co are escaping from the Liumang's clutches.
  • After the first encounter against Ishioda (who is fighting in an actual wrecking ball, by the way), the latter tries to flatten our heroes by swinging into a nearby building. When it looks like they seemingly perish, Ishioda is distracted by the ball getting stuck in the building. We then zoom in on three protesters sneaking away—it's Ichiban, Adachi, and Saeko, alive and casually slinking off while hiding behind picket signs. As Ishioda demands to know the protesters if the three have been squished by the wrecking ball, our trio hauls ass out of there, stopping to dump their borrowed signs from off-camera first!
  • This little bit of dialogue before fighting Zheng for the third time in Chapter 10:
    Saeko: Remember Zheng, Ichiban?
    Ichiban: Yeah, the perv, right?
    Han: ...He's a pervert?
    Ichiban: Yeah, he's got an armpit fetish.
    Han: Oho. Not even the Geomijul knew that.
    Adachi: Heh. Get on our level.

  • The encounter with the Wild Beast (or rather, another tiger) in Chapter 10. Saeko lampshades the absurdity of the fact that Qing Jin even has a tiger to begin with.
    Saeko: Watching tigers while you eat? I will never understand rich people.
    Adachi: Hey, I can get behind it. Tigers are just like house cats but bigger.
    Saeko: Oh, sure. It's so cute when they're about to maul you!
    Ichiban: Yeah, I'm with her on this one, Adachi-san. I don't want to end up as a tiger snack.
    • Considering how most of the encounters in this game play out from Ichiban's perspective, one must wonder what this fight looked like from an outside perspective! This among the many, many, many fights that the Heroes of Tomorrow get into.

  • Nanba returning, and mentioning that not only was his brother treated like a prince during his abduction by the Geomijul, he is also engaged to his Geomijul handler.
  • Ichiban touches down in Sotenbori with his friends to meet with Arakawa. He's expecting a call from Mitsuo and when he gets up to go outside, he finally gets something... except that it's a text from Nick telling him that he took a picture with Kamulop. Ichiban is none too pleased about this, to say in the least.
  • The circumstances behind it are very much unfunny, but when a distraught and anger-driven Ichiban is squaring off with Kiryu, who challenges him to a fight if he wants the necessary information about Arakawa's killer, Ichiban begs him to reconsider. Not because it's pointless, or that he doesn't have the patience for it, no. Ichiban, with complete sincerity, tells Kiryu that he doesn't want to fight him right now because he's afraid his barely-restrained anger will get the better of him in a pitched fight and he'll go too far against his unknown opponent, maybe even beating him to death in a frenzy. Repeat, he's saying this to Kiryu Kazuma, the Dragon of Dojima, survivor of battles and fights that makes the Omi alliance fight Ichiban collapsed after surviving look like a picnic — hell, Gaiden reveals Kiryu endured an even tougher battle shortly after that, and pulled through without pushing himself to his absolute limits even. Kiryu barely holds back a laugh at this absurdity, and any experienced player will have much the same reaction, with their concern being for Ichiban rather than the other way around...and the subsequent fight will prove those fears well-founded. Even the dynamic opening highlights how absolutely out of his depth Ichiban is, when his haymaker to the face is solidly tanked by Kiryu without budging an inch, not even to block, leaving Ichiban with a wide-eyed look of shock as he finally gets a glimpse of what his opponent is capable of.
  • The aftermath of Ichiban's and Kiryu's fight. Turns out the Dragon of Rock Bottom was no match for the Dragon of Dojima as it's implied that Ichiban went down with a single blow from Kiryu so bad that it knocked him out hard enough for him to be dreaming about slaying an actual dragon. Shining armor and all.
    • For that matter, it would seem that Kiryu still has a grudge against the triads if his previous encounters with them are any indication because if Zhao is in your immediate party, expect to be reviving him a lot! He also indiscriminately targets Han plenty, likely because of events in the previous game.
  • When Ichiban encounters Ishioda for the last time, they also encounter the hitman Mirror Face disguised as Adachi. When the real Adachi starts wrestling with the fake, one of the things that Ichiban does to tell the fake from the real one is to quiz them on their knowledge of basic Japanese Traffic Laws. Hilarity Ensues as Ichiban punches out the fake for answering correctly! Mirror Face's bewilderment at Adachi's lack of basic knowledge is what makes it even funnier!
    • Ishioda's Dynamic Intro afterward is also rather amusing considering he shoots Ichiban in the foot (which narrowly misses him, leading to a rather funny "OOOOH" from Ichiban's end), only for him to put away his gun before facing Ichiban and his Party alongside Mirror Face.
  • At the very end of the game, when Aoki reaches Tendo's office in the Millennium Tower, he already finds Ichiban and co. seemingly dead with Tendo claiming responsibility... or so he thinks when Ichiban surprises Aoki after the former gets the latter to inadvertently reveal his plans to the public.
  • Literally any time Saeko and Han are together on-screen. Whether it's her drooling over Han's good looks or just plain teasing him.

    Side Content 

  • Quite a lot of the Substories are downright hilarious and are all but summed up with "It Makes Sense in Context".
    • "Who's That Sujimon?!", where Ichiban, Adachi, and Nanba are greeted by a flasher, with Nanba casually dismissing him as another crazy off the streets.
    • "Fast Times At Ounabara", otherwise known as the "Can you tell me how to get to the station??" substory, particularly the first part featuring hilariously Gratuitous English. In the first part, Ichiban ends up failing miserably to give a foreign man directions, until a diligent man in a blue suit appears and proceeds to shout the directions to the foreigner in heavily accented English in the style of an inspirational speech.
      Ikari: "Go! Straight! And! Turn! Right! GO, GO, GO! GO YOUR WAY! BELIEVE YOURSELF!"
      • The English dubbed version is just as funny, due to Ichiban giving an Aside Glance, acknowledging the absurdity of a currently-English Speaking Japanese person not understanding English.
    • "The Michio Minefield" and "Fauxno Michio", where helping out the owner of Ono Michio is a literal fight over trademark infringement. Nevermind the difference between the fake Michio-kun figurines and the real ones, either. What makes it even funnier is that the real figurines have Kiryu's voice! The cherry on top would have Ichiban, like Kiryu before him, wear the suit as he dishes out some pain while enthusiastically protecting Ono Michio's legacy!
    • The Gondawara Gang returns, in all their diapered glory, and it's Ichiban's turn to experience one of Yakuza's most famous places. Ichiban's reaction just about sums up the experience.
      Ichiban: (Thinking) What... the ever-living fuck.
      • Somehow made even more absurd in the dub, where they give the patriarch an absurdly deep and manly voice, courtesy of Patrick Seitz of all people.
      • Even better, the quest ends with Patriarch Gondawara unlocked as a Poundmates summon. It's almost as much of a gameplay-related Wham Line as Nugget from Yakuza 0.
    • "A Golden Opportunity" is essentially one big piss joke that has Ichiban go after a public urinator. Euphemisms everywhere with this one... no pun intended.
    • "A Trip to Pound Town", which, besides being a tutorial to the Summons (called Poundmates here), also sees the return of one Gary "Buster" Holmes. Adachi, being Adachi, eagerly calls the number on the flyer and awaits what he thinks is a pretty girl under the guise of being the service's most popular employee... he gets greeted by Holmes instead! The end of the quest even reveals the back of the poster had Gary's silhouette. Guess Adachi should've checked first.
    • "Fifty Shades of Play" has Ichiban helping out both a dominatrix who's being bullied by her co-workers and a man who's such a hardcore masochist that he's developed Luke Cage levels of resilience preventing him from feeling pain. At one point, Mr. Masochist strips down to his underwear and has you fight him, taking no damage while prancing around and doing silly poses in response to your attacks.
    • The "Ringleader Roundup" trilogy of substories, or rather, "How to incompetently run a Circus Troupe", featuring Yasuda as the prime example of someone who is clearly hated by animals. In this series of substories, Ichiban fights against, in order, a bear, a tiger, and a lion... oh, my! No, wait, actually that last one's a chimp, not so much a lion. Who pilots an excavator for their boss fight. Either way, be prepared to laugh your ass off as these substories only become more and more absurd as you progress through them! Even funnier is that all of the animals under Yasuda's care have pretty cute names like Catherine, Charlotte, and Clara.
    • "Time to Suck" might just be the Crowning Moment of Funny in terms of the crazy shit that you encounter in this game. The quest itself starts off easy enough - you meet a scientist (who created a popular roomba named Soji, to be exact) who's planning on building what is essentially a miniaturized street sweeper in the form of an even bigger roomba. You then invest a million yen into the projectnote  and, as it turns out, the professor does build a much larger version of his trademark roomba, dubbing it Sojimaru as the damn thing speeds right by Ichiban. The two decide to take it for a test run and, as you'd expect, everything eventually hits the shitter as you have to fight Sojimaru to turn it off... and to get Ichiban's wallet back. Hilarity. Ensues.
    • During Sojimaru's rampage, an old woman comes chasing after a cat who's stolen her fish... straight into Sojimaru's path. It ends predictably.
      Ichiban: This must be what Hell looks like...
      • Fortunately, there's an emergency shutoff for it. Unfortunately, you get to it the way you would a regular roomba. Ichiban's thoughts on it can be summed up as "Screw it. I'm fighting a roomba!"
  • The song "Like a Butterfly" returns from Yakuza 6. This time featuring Eri and Ichiban, complete with Ichiban wearing the square shades in the song's Imagine Spot. Also, Ichiban can't rap to save his life. The screech he does at the end sells the whole experience. Made even funnier in the English dub, as Kaiji Tang uses his Republican Double voice for the rap sections.
  • The Imagine Spot for "Hell Stew" is basically "Judgement Shinpan" 2.0. It shows all the male party members playing in a black metal band dressed up like KISS (with Adachi/Zhao playing drum using leeks depending on who's singing the song) and them cooking the hot pot as if they're summoning a demon.
    • The lyrics only make this more absurd, as according to them the males are the demons, cooking human flesh as the ultimate meal. This does not at all fit with the onscreen imagery in the slightest.
    • Speaking of the lyrics, the English localization team provided an interesting line for the first verse, likely in a desperate attempt to rhyme with "dish" (which was admitted as a Hand Wave):
      Shit posters, hot takes, all you trolls, you little fish
      You're all in tonight's main dish
  • When watching a movie, y'know those chicken spirits that keep Kasuga awake if you leave them alone? Yeah, they're called Alarm Cocks.
  • Many of the romance scenes are also fittingly cheesy as the camera will quickly pan away as sex is implied. The cherry on top is Ichiban will often shout out his partner's name in true hammy fashion.
    • The one that occurs with Manae, the Vocational School receptionist, may take the cake because after the scene plays out, we are treated to another where Ichiban runs to Ikari. Ikari is Ichiban's vocational school colleague who is rather hopelessly in love with Manae but could never tell her straight up. Ichiban rather awkwardly tries to come up with a story of what he was up to.
    • At the end of Ririka's, which involves her kneeling over Ichiban, who's lying on his back in the Happy Work parking lot, the camera pans over to reveal that the owner of Happy Work (AKA Ririka's boss) was watching them the whole time!
  • The final substory involves Ichiban finally receiving his comeuppance for sleeping around after having "intimate moments" with six different women around the city, including the two female party members. Long story short, the man is left flat on his back having had the piss beaten out of him and been shot with a very powerful crossbow amongst other things. And then Bartender reveals it's all just a misunderstanding. The icing on the cake is Kasuga gaining a permanent Defense boost after having his ass kicked by the women he's scorned, too!
  • If you have a rematch with Shin Amon in the Final Millennium Tower, then you'll be treated to this gem before the fight starts.
    • If you confront Shin Amon in the True Final Millennium Tower, he tells Ichiban that he won't be holding back this time, and if he loses, he only has himself to blame and that leaving negative reviews on the internet won't solve anything.
  • The scene where Ichiban finds out his vocational school exam results. He pulls the results out of an envelope and thrusts it into the air like it was a legendary item. If he passed the exam, Ikari and some other guys come together to throw Ichiban in the air while cheering about how he's the man. If he failed the exam, Ikari quietly walks over and gives Ichiban a sympathetic pity-pat on the shoulder as Ichiban continues to hold the skyward pose.
    • Speaking of vocational school, the substory that you unlock for progressing far enough has Ikari bullied by two more-successful schoolmates. Ichiban stands up for him and proceeds with the obligatory "Metronomic Menacing Man Mashing" the series is known for, and then asks Ikari where he's applying next. Ikari says that he'll be applying at a place called Ichiban Holdings; when Ichiban is naturally shocked at this, Ikari asks if he's interested in applying together, saying that he looks like he's "barely scraping by." Ichiban's response, after a Beat, is a deadpan "Bro, I own that company."
    • One of the vocational school quizzes, "Underworld Studies", is effectively a test of how well players know the earlier Yakuza games. One of the questions asks for the correct spelling of "Goro Majima", with the following footnote at the end of the quiz:
    It is extremely important to know how to correctly spell his name, as some members of the Tojo Clan were reportedly beaten within an inch of their lives after misspelling his name in a Christmas card.
  • The Business Management Sidequest can prove to be a treasure trove for this.
    • When Ichiban buys a TV slot for Ichiban Holdings, not only are you treated to a rather amusing commercial (for Ichiban Confections prior to becoming Ichiban Holdings, that is), but the 8-bit sprite of Ichiban running in place collecting the money has him wearing shades in a car instead!
    • During the tutorial for the business management minigame, Eri pretty much just tells you to start business operations for the day, which, as was forecasted on the screen before starting, causes the business to hemorrhage money. Eri then cheerfully tells Ichiban that that's all there is to running the business. Ichiban takes this in for a moment, and then appropriately freaks out. The real tutorial doesn't happen until after you call Nick Ogata and get his investment. It's easy to see why the business hasn't done very well under Eri.
    • After cracking the top 50 in rankings, Nick agrees to further fund the operations on the basis that Ichiban moves the company's headquarters outside of the hole-in-the-wall Confectionary shop they had been operating in. Ichiban breaks the news to Eri and her Grandmother, expecting them to completely oppose the decision for sentimental reasons....only for them to immediately jump for joy at the offer because they hated their old home.
    • After moving to their new headquarters, Eri and her grandmother tries to hide just how much they spent on their fancy penthouse office set up. Ichiban finds the bill lying on the ground for $10 billion yen.
    • The fact that Ichiban is such a Benevolent Boss that he hires literally anyone to work for his company really reaches its apex during the Boardroom Meetings where, among other things, you can have a giant roomba, a chimp, a chicken, the Mad Dog of Shimano and the Dragon of Dojima themselves vouch for Ichiban! And yes, Takaya Kuroda really brings out the Large Ham during these meetingsIn the dub... , too! Just an example...
    • During Shareholder meetings, Ichiban has a Limit Break ability to offer apologies to the shareholders. Level 1 and Level 2 apologies are pretty mundane but effective. The Level 3 apology, however, is completely over the top as Kasuga leaps over the table and prostrates himself. It's also so effective that it not only deals a good chunk of damage to the shareholders but leaves them completely silent in shock for several seconds!
      Ichiban: My partners and shareholders! Please accept...MY MOST HUMBLE APOLOGIES! ("PLEASE ACCEPT OUR HUMBLE APOLOGIES" appears in giant text)
    • Upon completing the Business Management storyline, Eri becomes available to recruit as an employee that can also be used in Shareholder Meetings. Despite her role, she'll still behave like any employee... including asking for a raise. Despite essentially being the second-in-command of Ichiban Holdings in all but name! Even funnier still is the fact that, for someone that's quite the Shrinking Violet, she has maxed out Persuasiveness once she's at the level cap of 30! Not bad for someone who started out Money Dumb!
  • One of the encounters in Kamurocho's sewers is a bunch of cultist enemies, who were in the middle of worshipping a Mexican statue (while yelling out an oh-so-familiar "Shooreh pippi!" chant) before you interrupted them.
  • One of the premium music tracks Ichiban can play over the Survive bar's speakers is none other than Get to the Top!. Better yet, it's Majima's version of the song, now presented in full length instead of the shortened karaoke track from Dead Souls.

    Gameplay 

  • For players that are on PC, the glorious "Real Yakuza use a gamepad" splash screen is very much still present and accounted for.
  • Crossing over with Heartwarming, at any time while you're roaming Ijincho, Kamurocho, or Sotenbori, you can hit Up on the D-pad to pull up the camera and take a selfie with your party members. Yes, they'll strike a pose and yes, you can put some filters on them for shits and gigs.
  • Most of the actions displayed at the bottom of the screen are just downright hilarious. Here's but a few examples...
    "Nanba breathed out some vile-ass fumes!"
    "Kasuga took out a wad of cash!"
    "[Saeko/Eri] posed adorably!"
    "Nanba zonked out on the spot!"
    "Skaterboi crashes in with no regard for safety!"
    "Freestylist started talking mad shit!"
    "[Enemy] skips around like a jackass."
    "[Enemy] is now shitfaced."
    "Kasuga and the party got the hell out of there."
  • The running away option itself. Instead of a tactical retreat like most Role Playing Games, the active party member will turn around and comically sprint away from the battle. They also do this alone, which seems to imply that they straight up abandoned their friends to save their own hide. Even Ichiban.
    • They say some funny stuff when running away, too.
    "See ya!"
    "Adieu."
    "Great job, guys!"
  • All of the Summons. All of them. Saying anything will just spoil the inherent funniness of it. For even more hilarity, the localization team labeled the summons as, wait for it - Poundmates!
    Gary "Buster" Holmes: Till next time... Please call again. Dubbed 
  • The Kiwami skills are also hilarious in some cases as well. Notable examples include -
    • Tag Team: Essence of Mayhem: Almost definitely the first Tag Team skill you'll get, as well as the first Kiwami skill and an excellent first impression of them. In what the flavor text calls a "grandiose display of absurdity", the whole party gangs up on the unfortunate victim, knocking them back and forth between them until Ichiban finishes them with a drop kick. Watching the poor fool get utterly abused by your whole party is funny enough with straight-forward brawlers like Adachi or Han laying the smackdown on them, but it gets hilarious when the more unconventional members take the stage, like Nanba spewing flame-breath in the victim's face, or Saeko slapping them to the ground and kicking the sorry bastard right in the seat!
    • Essence of Orbital Laser: Ichiban channels his inner Amon by calling in a literal Kill Sat just to wipe the floor with some random mooks. And no, all that firepower will have no effect on Mr. Masochist.
    • Essence of Resuscitation: Nanba tries to revive a downed party member by performing "CPR"... only to let out the most rancid breath possible. It works without Nanba even touching them. And the stench prompts a reaction of such horror and disgust that the party member quickly gets the hell out of the way, causing Nanba to faceplant straight into the ground.
      Adachi: You smell like ass! Dubbed 
      Saeko: That's awful! Dubbed 
      Joon-gi Han: *unintelligible noise of revulsion*
      Zhao: That's rank! Dubbed 
      Eri: *choking sound* Dubbed 
    • Essence of Hell's Wheel: Adachi grapples a random guy for a suplex... right after using him to do a Spin Dash into the other guys. It's as ridiculous as it is awesome.
    • Essence of Titillating Claws: Saeko/Eri in the Night Queen class er... "pleasuring" one of the others to restore their Health. What's more is that the girls can both do it to each other, too!
    • Essence of Remotivation: Saeko performs an actual Kiss of Life to revive the others. It's more successful than when Nanba does it. And yes, she can also perform the move on Eri.
    • Essence of Russian Roulette: Saeko or Eri play a game of Russian Roulette with a mook, only to then shoot them square in the face (along with a few others, friend or foe). The way they put the gun to their heads combined with the close-up seems oddly familiar...
      • Adding to the Persona references, Saeko (who, amusingly enough, shares a voice actress with a certain prosecutor) will say, "Let's play a game!" in a very familiar tone while using the Roulette skill.
    • Essence of Divine Punishment: A guy in the Fortune Teller class tries to call down a meteor strike, only to get a random bag of trash fall out of thin air... and then they suddenly get what they were hoping for. Their reaction (especially if it's Han or Nanba doing it) is the icing on the cake.
    • Essence of Damnation Date: While using the hostess class, the girl will flirt with a mook and take them away from the arena... literally. As in, the hapless mook just winks out of existence on the spot. Thanos would be so proud!
    • Essence of RIP: While in the Devil Rocker class, the user will push a helpless mook into a coffin and laugh evilly as a pair of mooks spawn out of nowhere and jauntily carry the coffin away.
    • Essence of Glowstick Fury: The power of an idol knows no bounds as Saeko/Eri sick some rabid dancing fanboys on the unsuspecting victim, finishing with an adorable smile on their face.
    • Essence of Idol Spirit: It's a revive skill where Saeko or Eri shoves a giant needle up the KO'd hero's ass.
    • Essence of Rose Typhoon: A man in the host class busts out a bouquet a roses and spins around, creating a huge tornado of rose petals, and finishing it with a pose with lots of Bishie Sparkles. The kicker? This move can not only burn, but even charm enemies!
    • Essence of Labor Parade: Some construction workers complain about how hungry they are before the character who used the skill bangs a ladle against a pot and tells them it's chow time, causing them to stampede over your enemies in their rush to get food. It's a weaponized lunch break!
  • Yes, the Kiwami skills are utterly ridiculous in and of themselves, but just try to keep a straight face if you use any of the sillier skills (Glowstick Fury, Labor Parade, Wrecking Ball, etc) on the story bosses in this game. Humiliation was never so flashy! Kume, Kiryu, Masato... just take your pick and watch the silliness.
  • Just in general, the different kinds of weapons that can be used by each of the classes are as out there as you can get. Some range from a simple and mundane baseball bat to a giant fucking vibrator of all things!
  • Some of the descriptions for the Sujimon are rather amusing, to say the least. Here's but a few examples:
    (Charlotte's description) A tiger that performs in an animal circus. She's shy, but she seems to listen to Kasuga.
    (Crotchety Geezer's description) Been cited for indecency countless times, but ran from each charge. Exposes himself in a way that defies all understanding.
    (Excavator's description) A hydraulic-powered piece of heavy machinery. These days, crime syndicates appreciate its value as a "problem solver".
    (Kiryu's description) A legend. Doesn't talk much.
    (Mr. Masochist's description) Infamously hypermasochistic. A past attempt at pleasure turned disastrous, hardening his skin. He has felt no pain since then.
    (Nanba's description) Relies on skills that he picked up from both his stints as a nurse and a vagrant. The kind of guy who'd be a wizard in an RPG.
    (Some other yakuza's description) Do you realize how many yakuza are in this city? Who has time to categorize all of them? Just take my word for it: they're all Sujimon.
  • While he is normally The Stoic, Han can be made to participate in the game's more humorous and over-the-top moments if he's put outside of his default class, Hitman, creating some funny out-of-character moments. None moreso than the Host or Musician class. Placing Zhao in the former class, on the other hand, leads to some... very amusing moments.
  • Seeing as there's traffic in Kamurocho and Isezaki Ijincho, try to knock a mook into traffic and see what happens! You even get a trophy for it, too!
    • On the other hand, seeing as there's traffic in the aforementioned locations, don't be surprised if you eventually get hit by a car yourself (which also unlocks said achievement). Ouch.
  • The fact that, among the various name changes Kasuga's initial class undergoes, as oddly descriptive as it is, one of them is still Deadbeat.
  • In a meta sense for long-time fans, having to fight Majima, Saejima, AND Kiryu can be hilariously terrifying. Especially for those that have struggled countless times against Majima back in Yakuza Kiwami!
    • Even funnier still is that, for those that really hated going up against Majima's Breaker style back in the aforementioned game, you can assign any one of your party members to the Breaker job to return the favor!
  • One of Eri's skills involves her calling the cops on opponents!
  • Ichiban will randomly proclaim "I'm not a loser!" in the middle of a battle.
  • There's something strangely satisfying about fighting random enemy that talks big about money or want to force you to pay them back for one reason or another after you have completed the majority of the Management game. Seeing Kasuga smugly whip out a massive wad of bills to bitch slap/likely one-shot them with is a sight to behold.
  • Have everyone knock back a few cold ones and take a listen to how poorly they're holding their liquor. Yes, even the normally stone-faced Joon-gi Han will have something to say under the influence.

    Party Chat Dialogues 
  • Endless Manga - Ichiban comments that as soon as he left prison he got curious about how a manga he used to read ended, but he went to a bookstore and found that not only it was still ongoing but the story barely had moved due to its author taking extended breaks. He doesn't go in any detail about the manga, but considering the time frame it fits as a Take That! like Berserk, Hunter × Hunter and D.N.Angel.
  • Best By - After walking around for a while, Adachi suggests the party to take a break somewhere. Nanba is noticeably quiet, it turns out that he has a stomachache after drinking some room-temperature milk (which was implied to have been expired). After a few seconds has passed, he's going to blow, Adachi responses by suggesting the group should leave him be.
  • Speak Kansai to Me - Adachi asks Saeko to speak in a Kansai dialect for his amusement. Without missing a beat, Saeko complies, with the two roleplaying an Osakan couple, ending with Adachi giving Saeko only 50 yen instead of 500,000. Han and Zhao are... confused, to say the least.
  • Diet or Death - Adachi has been thinking on going on a diet, hearing this Han offers him some useful advice. However, Nanba points out that Adachi would have cheated at some point, to which Han responds by using the Geomijul's surveillance system to observe him and pull out the bowguns if he does cheat. Adachi thinks he will just stick to running around, with Ichiban offhandedly comments that he just wasted the Geomijul's time.
  • Retro Memories - Zhao recounts how, as a child, he was only allowed to have one hour a day to play games, but would sneak more playtime in whenever he could, until the fateful day when his VMU betrayed him after its batteries died and it gave out a loud BEEEEP.
  • Objection! - Saeko accuses Adachi of eating her cake without permission. The scene plays out like it's coming straight out from Ace Attorney, right down to Saeko yelling out "Objection!" to Adachi's lies of being innocent. After Adachi begrudgingly admits he's guilty, Han (as the judge) sentences Adachi to treat him and Saeko to cake. Adachi asks Han why he should treat him too, only for Han to chuckle ominously. It also humorously serves as a shout out to a similar situation that happened in Judgement.
  • Chili Shrimp - Zhao points out the abundance of Chinese restaurants in Kamurocho, to which Ichiban replies that while they are pretty good, they don't hold a candle to Zhao's chili shrimp. Even Nanba can't help but be impressed at Zhao's culinary skills since he goes as far as to say that Zhao is the only one who can do chili shrimp justice. One must wonder if Nanba's had a bad batch of chili shrimp before to be quick to point this out...
  • Fear of Heights - Being out of the loop for eighteen years, Ichiban takes note of Kamurocho Hills, the construction site that was built by the Majima Family during the events of Yakuza 2 (started in 2006 and is completed by the events of Yakuza 5, set in 2012). Saeko points out that it's just as tall as the Millennium Tower, which in itself was already quite massive. Ichiban then asks Saeko if she'd bungee jump off Kamuro Hills for a million yen, to which she's not too thrilled about doing. Nanba then chimes in and tells Ichiban that he'd do it despite also being scared shitless of heights. He then goes on to say that he'd faint as a defense mechanism and wake up a millionaire, causing Ichiban to muse that it defeats the purpose.
  • The Twenty Man Fight - Ichiban is reminded of the time he beat 20 people in a fight in a park during middle school, with Nanba highly doubting him, first assuming he beat them in rock-paper-scissors and then thinking he beat them in Virtua Fighter, to which Ichiban asks how he could beat anyone in Virtua Fighter in the middle of a park. Zhao says he could've played the Game Gear version, causing Ichiban to tell them to forget he ever said anything.
  • Culture Shock - The simple fact that Joon-Gi Han got into an argument with a woman because they got into each other's way on an escalator. The discussion then moves onto wondering about where people from different regions stand on the escalator, with Saeko even suggesting they visit Nagoya to see for themselves. Then Nanba accuses her of wanting kishimen noodles and the conversation totally veers off course from there.
  • A Matter of Taste - An old lady in leopard print (almost certainly the legendary Obatarian from 0 and Kiwami 2) walked up to Zhao, complimented his fashion, then left. Adachi and Saeko deduce that she was a typical Osakan grandma, and liked that Zhao's vibes were similar to hers. Zhao's not sure if he's happy about that.
  • At That Age - Saeko notices a club and asks the party if she'd get any customers if she opened a cabaret in Kamurocho. Ichiban says a beauty like her would absolutely get customers, flattering Seako. Adachi says she should apply to the club because they'd hire her on the spot. Saeko points out it's a cougar bar. Adachi stammers as Saeko comes to terms with not being as young as she used to be, and Ichiban snarks at Adachi for making Saeko feel old. To top it all off, Adachi says he'll own up to that by becoming a host. Let that sink in: a sixty-year old former detective working as a host.
  • "No Spoilers" - Adachi gets mad at Zhao for spoiling a movie he wanted to see, then rants about ads that say "You won't believe the big twist." Ichiban asks why, and Adachi says the twist will be boring if you're bracing for it, unable to watch the movie like it was intended. Zhao says he should go on opening day.
  • Prince on a White Horse - Adachi theorized that princes in white horses still exist in modern times, they're just handsome men in fancy foreign cars, and then suggests putting Joon-gi Han in one to turn him into a modern equivalent of Prince Charming. Han denies he even fits to play a prince, but Saeko points out that he never denied being handsome.
  • On Education - Zhao asks Ichiban about his experiences at the Vocational School and wonders if it's high time he got certified in something. Ichiban suggests cooking since Zhao is already a good chef. Zhao wonders if they have something more fitting to him...Like assassination! Han remarks that he would be good at that too, and may even be able to skip ahead to the level two course. Ichiban wonders if the two are being serious right now.
  • Exterminators - The party spot a rat and talks about the abundance of pests in Kamurocho which Joongi responds by saying that Geomijul may look like a slum but they are very serious about rats and cockroaches, as Seonghui despises them. Adachi then tells him that the heroes find a cockroach while in the base a few chapters ago. Joongi's response? "What? I must get someone to exterminate it before Seonghui finds out. Or else Yokohama will be drowned in a sea of flames!" Which causes Ichiban to mutter "What exactly is she planning to do?"
  • Sometimes you are given a choice of what goes well with the food that you ordered for a party member (which may require a guide if there is one). Of course, you can be stingy and order a free cup of water for virtually everything, but it's also possible to choose Brandy to go with cucumbers and have Joon-gi Han berate Ichiban (who claims the drink is befitting for a man like Joon-gi Han) for his lack of common sense, among other things.
  • Joon-gi Han enjoys his bread like Ichiban, prompting Ichiban to tease him by calling him "Joon-gi Bun."*  Joon-gi however, is not so appreciative of the pun, prompting Ichiban to backtrack hard. Unfortunately Adachi has to join in and make clear that Ichiban did say "Joon-gi Bun," and teases Ichiban right back with "Ichibun Kasuga."*  The three dissolve into arguing, to the point that Saeko tells them all to just shut up and enjoy their bread. All three boys apologize, before Joon-gi catches himself:
    "Wait, why am I apologizing?"
  • Joon-gi Han praises the wine at the fancy French restaurant, calling it full-bodied with "quite the attack". Nanba and Ichiban have no idea what he's talking about and conclude that he's actually describing a sexy volleyball player. Joon-gi Han clarifies that he was talking about the wine, and Ichiban calls for the waiter to "Attack me with the sexiest wine you got!"
  • Joon-gi Han can enjoy a cup of coffee, which will remind him of the time Seong-hui had him master all of the coffee brewing techniques just to get it how she likes... until the day Han completely ran out of coffee beans while one of the Geomijul goons managed to impress Seong-hui with instant coffee, which was a "bitter cup to swallow" for poor Joon-gi.
  • Nanba reminiscing about the time he ate a mushroom that looked like a matsutake, and the subsequent trip it sent him on, which concerns Ichiban.

    Other 

  • With the official soundtrack finally out, every track in the game now has an official name instead of the fan-made ones. While some are fairly straightforward (e.g., "Brutality" for the second bout with Sawashiro, "War Maker" for Mabuchi, etc.), there are others that are… amusing, to say the least.
    • For example, that catchy theme that plays during normal encounters in Yokohama? Know what it's called? "Yokohama Crackhouse", that's what. …Seriously.
    • Then there's Kiryu's theme, being a remix of "Receive You". You'd think that'd be the title, but when you realize it's actually called "Rolling Eyes Fall Down the Dragon Wall", well… suddenly the fight isn't as epic, now is it? Especially when the title sounds an awful lot like something Michael Giacchino would come up with.
    • As if that wasn't enough, there's "This Is Going to Suck" (again, not making this up), which is the catchy little number that plays during the fight with Sojimaru!

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