Funny / Yakuza 3

• As always, some of the HEAT actions border on slapstick, but special mention goes to what happens if you perform one while holding a small container such as a milk crate. Kiryu will jam the object on the hapless mook's head, then repeatedly slap it to spin it around while the poor guy staggers around helplessly. Performing well at the accompanying QTE allows this to go on for a comically long time.
• In one substory, Kiryu jumps to the defense of a woman getting harassed by thugs. Once he gets rid of the thugs, Kiryu realizes the woman he saved was a drag queen, who now had the hots for him, much to Kiryu's horror. What comes next is a chase sequence where Kiryu tries to desperately get away from his new admirer. Understandably, this substory was cut from the Remastered version.
• In another substory, Kiryu is approached by a couple of techs for a movie being filmed in town; their star is out sick and they need a tough guy to take his spot in the action sequence they're working on. Kiryu accepts and does his thing, and the director is so impressed he wants to hire Kiryu full time. However, after the scene's wrapped up, Kiryu gets back into his street clothes...and not having put his shirt back on yet, the entire crew sees his dragon. Cue collective pants-darkening moment when they realize they asked an actual yakuza to help with their movie. Kiryu leaves and the crew continues to panic, while the oblivious director asks why everyone's fussing all of the sudden.
• Kiryu and Rikiya go to locate Kanda, who was in a love hotel of all places. When they try to enter, the old lady clerk stops them, saying that only couples can get in. In order to enter without suspicion, Rikiya pretends he and Kiryu are a gay couple wanting a room, much to Kiryu's shock. The old lady happily lets them in, apparently a yaoi fangirl.
  • The QTE cutscenes near the end of Kanda's boss battle^note In which he goes to pull something off the wall again, but Kiryu grabs him and tries to pull him away as well made it look like something else...
• Speaking of Kanda, his introduction scene is something else. In what appears to be rough sex as his subordinates look at the crashing wall in shock, he later reveals that it was nothing but a hard massage on a woman. Then it all leads up to Kanda slapping all of his subordinates in a hard way. What's even funnier is that all of them respond with gratitude. Talk about a fucked up family...
  Kanda: There ya go! [while slapping each of his subordinates] That's! What! I'm! Fuckin'! Talking! About!
  Members: Thank you very much, sir.
  • The icing on the cake is that the subtitles pop up as Kanda is smacking his subordinates.
• As mind-blowing as it is to hear Joji's "beautiful eyes" line in English, it becomes funny when you realize that Kiryu barely understands a word of English, meaning he has no idea what Joji just said.
• Kiryu heads to West Park, now a huge empty lot due to the cancellation of Kamurocho Hills, and finds a telephone in the Majima Family office with a note reading "Dial '007' for assistance". When he calls the number, all he gets in response is mad laughter with a comedic background track. Kiryu leaves, only to be immediately approached by Majima and his thousand members.
• Majima suddenly shows up to save Kiryu from a mob of goons in a bright pink dump truck (with custom animal print interior no less), screaming incoherently the entire time he's behind the wheel. This is after his last appearance had him being in his full business suit and serious persona, so seeing him back in his old snakeskin get-up and up to his classic chaotic antics is kind of hilarious in its suddenness.
  • He also panics upon stopping the truck fearing he accidentally ran Kiryu over in the process of trying to save him and cries out for him after stopping the truck when he can't see him.
  • Kiryu actually cracks a tiny smirk at Majima's entrance, almost as if he's thinking "Ah Majima, never change".
  • Meanwhile the suits who'd been surrounding Kiryu all just fall over themsleves getting out of the way and spend the rest of the brief cutscene lying on the ground with stunned expressions, not even thinking to interrupt Kiryu and Majima's short exchange nor gather their wits fast enough to stop them. You can practically hear them all thinking "What the HELL just happened?!" during and after the getaway.
• Mine communicating in English to Andre Richardson over the phone that his plans will go through regardless while in Daigo's hospital room is a tense moment. However, the tension is undercut by the fact that Mine clearly picked up English very recently, with his English sounding like stereotypical Engrish. He’s got the grammar nailed down, but he delivers his line in an extremely terse and accented way:
  Mine: "Aru? Okey, gor it. No. Zere’s no change in ze pran. Bye."
• Despite the seriousness of the situation, Andre Richardson threatening Kiryu in perfect American English only for Kiryu to respond with a Flat "What" is pretty hilarious. It's even better when you realize that Kiryu doesn't understand him at all since he later requires Mine to translate Richardson's English for him. Just about the only reason Kiryu's getting anything out of Richardson's earlier words in English is because he's gesturing for Kiryu like pointing upwards while mentioning Daigo by name or pulling on his gloves while challenging Kiryu.