Funny / Wolf 359

• In episode 1, an explosion goes off in Dr. Hilbert's lab but he doesn't notice.
  Minkowski Doctor, is any of your lab on fire?
  Hilbert (with audible fire in background) Not sure, in very important observation part of experiment, can't take eyes off it.
• Episode 2 is about Eiffel locking himself in a room to keep the last tube of toothpaste, while in there he overhears the commander and doctor talking about gassing him out, Hilbert says the gas won't hurt, Minkowski asks if he can make it hurt a little bit.
• Episode 7 has Hilbert getting taken over by a carnivorous plant as the B-plot. The A-plot is Minkowski and Hera having an argument and Eiffel having to be in the middle. When he finally tells them about the plant, Minkowski just gets annoyed that he called her obstinate.
• In episode 8 to get out a talent show Hilbert gives Minkowski a sedative, except it just makes her drunk. This leads to her reciting "Modern Major General", threatening Hilbers with a gun if he doesn't make ice-cream, and leads into her putting on a performance of the play. The payoff involves her finding a cannon and lighting it which blows a hole in the hull.
  • Becomes a Brick Joke several seasons later in "Change of Mind" when the Hephestus crew is investigating a derelict ship, and finding bullet holes, Lambert and Fisher suppose that either there was a mutiny, or the ship's talent show got out of hand.
• Episode 17 has Hera shocked to find out Minkowski has a husband.
  Minkowski: Hera, you've read my file, you knew I had a husband.
  Hera: I thought that was a really weird typo.
• The live episode has Eiffel and Minkowski impersonating each other, Zach Valenti jumping back and forth to portray Eiffel and Hilbert, and pretty much any time Eiffel's recorder goes off after he puts it down.
  • Bonus points for Lovelace entering just in time to see Eiffel and Minkowski bickering back and forth by doing shoddy impressions of each other.
  Lovelace: (To Hilbert) What did you do to these people?!
  Hilbert: I promise, this is how I found them.
  • Mr. Cutter asks Eiffel how Minkowski stopped Hilbert's attempted mutiny.
  Eiffel: She punched him!
  Cutter: ... There has to be more to the story than that.
  • At the end of the interview:
  Eiffel: Do you want me to get Doctor Hilbert for you?
  Cutter: Heh, it's tempting. But I've got this feeling it'd be pretty much the same conversation that you and I just had.
  • The actors are reading their lines from scripts they have on music stands on stage. They manage to make this part of their characterization depending on how they set up their stands. Lovelace storms onto the stage carrying her stand like it's a blunt weapon, while Cutter steals someone else's stand and sweeps their stuff off of it to make room for his script.
• Episode 39 has Jacobi's's version of Minkowski being a surfer girl.
  • Both Minkowski and Jacobi's version of events end with an explosion and the other two being set on fire, which you know because they can be heard screaming about it. Eiffel's version involves Jacobi almost dying, Maxwell having an army of killbots attacking everyone, and Lovelace taking over the ship and screaming about how no one will escape Thunderdome.
  • Ultimately Kepler gets fed up with The Rashomon gag and concludes that figuring out what actually happened can't possibly be worth the frustration of letting the bit go on any longer. The audience never learns exactly what the hell happened to result in Kepler's Scotch being launched into space.
• Episode 42 has part of the crew in a shuttle suffering from a power failure in a solar storm while something is lurking outside knocking on the door claiming to be one of the people inside the shuttle.
  Eiffel: It could finally be the Empty Man. (puzzled silence from Lovelace, Maxwell, and Jacobi as Eiffel suddenly remembers none of the Season One cast are in the shuttle with him) Oh goddamnit, none of you were here for The Empty Man.
• Episode 44 has Kepler demanding Maxwell for an explanation regarding a technical error, after Jacobi fails to do so.
  Kepler: Tell me what the problem is in the next 30 seconds and you get: Jacobi's job! Jacobi's room! And a lovely set of steak knives- though you'll have to dig those out of Jacobi's corpse.
• "Change of Mind" opens with the Hephestus beginning to violently shake after Hui's maneuver to get them into position to observe a never-before-seen solar flare runs the risk of going very wrong. This leads directly to an argument between Captain Lovelace and her second in command, Communications Officer Lambert, who insists that she needs to take the situation seriously.
  Lovelace: Fine, I'll do that as soon as you relax! We've got a full team of professionals. They can handle it.
  {violent shaking noise from the station all around them}
  Lovelace: They can handle it or I get to kill Doctor Hui. Either way, it's gonna be a fun morning.
  • Lovelace and Lambert are having an intense and extensive argument over the incident, Hui is listening in over the intercom, much to Fourier's disapproval. When Hui suggests they might actually try to kill each other this time, Fourier bets ten dollars on Lovelace.
  • The argument ends with The Reveal that it was actually a meeting between both of them and Officer Fisher, who has been uncomfortably witnessing the entire argument in hopes that the meeting can continue.
  • Fisher, having a heart-to-heart with Lovelace after Lambert leaves, points out that she and Lambert actually agreed with each other about how ill-advised Hui's maneuver was, and they still ended up going into a no-holds-barred argument about it somehow.
• Episode 52 has Lovelace getting Kepler to lose a game of Questions Only by punching him, since "Ow" isn't a question.
  • Note that, while Jacobi generally takes glee in watching Kepler make the crew suffer, even he reacts with horror at Kepler's suggestion of Questions Only. And when he realizes what a match between Kepler and Hera implies, he realizes they won't escape the game any time soon.
  • The plot of the episode hinges on the organic members of the crew having to shelter-in-place in Hilbert's old lab while Hera filters the air system after a gas leak. They have very strict rules for how everyone talks to each other, including no insults, no long-awaited confrontations, no mocking others for past actions or statements, etc. Jacobi demands to know why they have these rules. How often does this happen? Hera notes it's basically an annual event now.
  • Jacobi, incidentally, did not take the rules seriously at first, so Lovelace gagged him for half an hour.
• Episode 54, Eiffel angrily reciting the alphabet for the Dear Listeners.
  • The Dear Listeners learned to speak English by poking around inside Eiffel's brain, which in turn sparked debate over whether Eiffel could speak English.
  • In case you're keeping score, this means even The Dear Listeners are annoyed by how Eiffel talks.
• Most of the crew have been placed under mind control via Restraining Bolts. Eiffel manages to override his, but has to fake still being under control. He overcompensates, which leads to Cutter thinking that his restraining bolt is working too well, as it works by blocking undesirable emotions (resistance, independence) and boosting desirable ones (subservience, helpfulness).
• The Running Gag of Eiffel constantly having Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual quoted at him comes to a climax in Episode 59 when he ends up using a copy to attack one of its authors.
• Episode 60 has Lovelace and Kepler relaying everything said to them by Cutter and Eiffel/Minkowski respectively. Everything.
  Kepler: (deeply annoyed) This is your boy... Dougie Fresh... At the mic.
  • Lovelace doesn't escape this treatment either, being forced to relay Cutter's assorted Character Tics, to include his exaggerated sighs and Sarcastic Clapping.
• In the series finale, Cutter's death - he seems so utterly baffled to be meeting his death at a harpoon, to the point that he doesn't seem to be in pain, just confused:
  Cutter: "... a...HARPOON?!
  • As of the series denouement, the list of people incredibly annoyed by the way Doug Eiffel talks all the time now includes Doug Eiffel, post-Death of Personality and listening to recordings of himself.
  • Jacobi throws a Surprise Party for Rieman, which is to say Jacobi locks himself in a room with Rieman, a party horn, and a bomb concealed in a crawlspace under where he gets Rieman to stand.
  Jacobi: Well? Did I surprise y-{explosion}
• On very rare occasions, Mr. Cutter can be darkly hilarious, due to the cheerful tone of voice he uses to say anything, to include threatening to have someone thrown off the roof, ensuring that they'd fall past his office window so he can see them go past on the way down. He sounds like what you'd get if Kevin were running StrexCorps instead of working for them.
• The Mission Mishaps minisodes in Season 4 are full of these, serving as Breather Episodes during the show's final arc.
  • "A Little Night Music" has Eiffel making his mandatory quarterly morale-boosting public address, which he decides to approach by pretending to be a pretentious radio host introducing various classical music pieces. It all winds up to him going off on an energetic rant about a song he calls "The Mind Eraser", a piece of music so catchy it will push out any thoughts you may have about how terrible your situation is because Pachelbel's Canon is just such an overriding Ear Worm.
    • By the time he runs out of steam, he discovers that Minkowski had muted him pretty much right when got going, so nobody except Hera had to listen to his broadcast anyways. As he gets back to work, he starts whistling Pachelbel's Canon to himself.
  • "The Space You're In", Hilbert explaining the side effects of fertiliser for Eiffel.
  Hilbert: May cause temporary blindness. No, wait, will cause blindness. Blindness may be temporary.
  • "You Want, I Solve" has Eiffel go on a Mushroom Samba after he steals a bag of Minkowski's coffee which Hilbert had laced with drugs, at her request, as part of a convoluted plot to get him to read his copy of Pryce & Carter's
  • "Cold Turkey" has Minkowski place Eiffel in charge of preparing Thanksgiving Dinner because she's come down with a nasty cold. Eiffel questions how she manages to catch a cold on a space station that she's been sharing with the same two people for a year and a half.
    • Eiffel discovers that the turkey has gone missing, and can only find Spam. He goads Doctor Hilbert into helping make it taste like turkey by implying that Hilbert isn't smart enough to do it. Then he tries (and mostly fails) to explain the concept of Stuffing to him (he's already failed to explain the American holiday of Thanksgiving to Hilbert).
  Hilbert: You want me to stuff the food? Into what? Is Spam, Eiffel. Already in can. Very condensed state.

  • Eiffel stumbles across some common ground when he mentions Pecan Pie. Hilbert... likes Pecan Pie. He once ordered six whole pecan pies from Lula Jane's Bakery in Waco, Texas and ate nothing else for a week.
  Eiffel: Why were you in Waco?

  • As soon as they are about to get to work, Minkowski announces that dinner is ready. She and Hera decided that the easiest way to keep him out of the way in the kitchen all day would be to ask him to help cook.
  • In "No Complaints", Jacobi is bored during a stakeout. Kepler offers to play "Questions Only," and Jacobi expresses regret that he ever taught Kepler that game.
    • Kepler brought a duffel bag full of fireworks to celebrate the anniversary of recruiting Jacobi. You can hear them going off throughout the episode's credits.
  • Jacobi and Maxwell getting called on the carpet for some unknown reason by Kepler. Maxwell immediately assumes Jacobi must have done something wrong. Kepler is pissed that they're trying to get out of a company holiday party.
    • Maxwell gets a text message, and claims that some sensitive piece of equipment has a serious fault and needs immediate correction, which Jacobi can help her with! It could take days! The text was actually notifying her that her Chinese food delivery had arrived.
    • When all is said and done, Kepler notes that they are better covert operatives than they are actors.