Funny / Two Best Friends Play Let's Play 2014

Return to the main Two Best Friends Play Funny Moments index here.

I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream

• The duo's escalating comments about how AM is pretty much using the group's tortures as a way to "get off".
  Woolie: I have no dick and I must fap!
• During Benny's segment: "So I have The Path, The Path, and what appears to be the path."
• Pat is speechless in Part 3 when Benny inexplicably grows a third arm to shake the mutant child's hand.
  • What's better is that Pat queries whether or not that's a glitch. Woolie quite blatantly tells him no.
• In part 4 when the Devil character nonchalantly states that AM has taken over Hell, the duo goes on about how cool it would be in AM actually did take over Heaven and Hell, even if these claims are false.
• Pat's constant bafflement at the sassy-ness of Ellen, which he finds implausible given the century of torture the characters have been through.
• Pat sums up, from personal experience, what being salutatorian means:
  Woolie: Oh, so if you're too shit-tier to be the valedictorian—
  Pat: Yeah, pretty much. That was me... I wasn't in any clubs and I hated everyone.^Note Actually, the salutatorian is just the person who graduates with the second-best grades, after the valedictorian. Still funny, though.
• An amazingly dark example: Pat reacts to Ellen's as-of-yet-unexplained fear of the color yellow by naming one of his saves "Yellow is Boners", which Woolie (who's played the game before) says was probably not a good idea. Later in the level, we find out Ellen's fear comes from repressed memories of a man dressed in yellow locking her in an elevator then raping her for hours, and Pat suddenly gets what Woolie was talking about.
  Pat: Yellow really is boners! I was right!
  Woolie: (trying not to laugh) You were... you kind of nailed it.
  • After the encounter, Woolie mentions what would have happened if Pat hadn't picked the "fight back" option.
  Woolie: You pick the wrong action at the end there—
  Pat: I did?
  Woolie: No, I'm saying if you do...
  Pat: Yeah?
  Woolie: Yeah... actually.
  Pat: Oh...kay, never playing this again.
  • Then Pat tries to name his next save "Yellow is No Longer Boners" but runs out of room.
• Pat, starts Gorrister's story off by making several decisions without heeding Woolie's warnings. Most of them don't really matter but...
  • To sum the episode up, Pat electrocutes a bunch of helpless animals without gaining anything, eats bread covered in rat shit, and finally stabs open the gas bag of the airship he is on and shoots it, with less-than-desirable results.
• It gets better in part 10, where Pat has to choose between healing the Big Bad of Gorrister's scenario, or Gorrister's wife. Pat chooses to save the Big Bad, screwing himself out of the good ending for Gorrister and subsequently the game. Woolie's reaction is priceless. Pat wisely takes Woolie's advice and reloads his save in part 11.
• Pat tying Edna up and shoving her in his pocket.
  • He later does the same thing with Glynis' corpse.
• When they get to Nimdok's scenario, Pat enters an operation room with a child strapped to a gurney, and an assistant scientist sent to oversee the "operation." Pat's immediate reaction is to calmly save the game, grab a scalpel and stab the assistant as Woolie starts laughing about how he didn't even seem to consider any other option.
  Woolie: You went right for it!
• Once Pat reaches the middle of Nimdok's scenario, he has fully and wholeheartily embraced both that he wants to piss off AM as much as possible and kill the asshole characters in the worst way possible:
  Pat: I get killed by a golem?! Hell yeah!
• Heading into the finale, Pat names the save file Attack On AM, getting Woolie really hyped.

Pokémon LeafGreen Nuzlocke

• Woolie adds an additional rule for their Nuzlocke run: When in doubt, they must name things after either Hip-Hop or Professional Wrestling. As such, they end up naming the protagonist "DMX", and after asking who the opposite of DMX is, name the rival "Ja Rule".
  • As a subtle one, the first major task in the game is for DMX to deliver a parcel from Oak to a nearby Pokemart. X GONNA GIVE IT TO YA, FUCK WAITIN FOR YOU TO GET IT ON YOUR OWN, X GON' DELIVER TO YA.
• Matt's pretty damn good impression of DMX's 'aaugh' yell.
• Woolie's consistent referring to DMX as Dog Master X, and Matt always trying to tell him that the DM stands for Dark Man.
• Woolie's running gag of saying that DMX's money can handle their problems, and Matt reminding him that DMX has no money these days.
• When beginning the game, they're confronted with the expository tutorial text, ending with this:
  On-screen text reads "Press A to begin your adventure!"
  Matt: Press A to let this horrible mistake commence.
• Shortly after beginning:
  Woolie: This is so exciting, we never know [[[[Permadeath}} when it might end for us]]!
  Matt: I hope it ends in five minutes.
• Remembering the famous Squirtle Squad and its leader's Cool Shades, they name their Squirtle "Kamina".
• Part 1 ends with the group heading to Route 23 in hopes of capturing a Mankey. A Rattata shows up instead, but due to the double clause rule they're able to try again to capture the next Mon to show up. Woolie asks for all the fans to raise their hands in hope. A Mankey shows up, the group gets hype, and the video ends on a cliffhanger.
• After catching a Mankey, Woolie goes back to grind. Cut to Mankey getting reduced to 1 HP by a critical from the first Ratatta they encounter.
• Matt's constant insistence to use Tackle at all times in battle, even though Bubble would be better due to it having STAB (Same Type Attack Bonus) on Squirtle.
  • Likewise, when Kamina (a Squirtle) goes up against a Pikachu, Liam goes through the math in his head to decide if it's worth a turn to use Withdraw and figuring it is—not realizing that Pikachu only had one attack (Thundershock), which Withdraw did nothing against because it was a special attack rather than a physical one.
• As of episode 5, DMX has a full six man squad. These six are Kamina, Fandango, Ghostface, Chyna, Lil'Jon, and Ludacris. Can anyone say dream team?
• It seems that Machop is the reaper of joy for this playthrough. So far he's killed Wyclef in episode 9, and Jigga in Episode 11. Even worse because they CAUGHT Jigga in the very same episode.
• In episode 14, Liam points out in retrospect that when they released Fandango after his death, they accidentally sang him off with the I Dream of Jeannie theme, rather than Fandango's own music. When the revelation dawns on Matt and Woolie, they suitably freak out, as it proves that Fandango could never get his due, even in death. Doubles as a Tear Jerker in a way.
• Episode 20 introduces Ultimate Warrior the Ghastly (They recorded shortly after he passed), the suggestion and Woolie going through with it made Matt and Liam laugh and cringe in equal parts.
  • On the same Episode, Woolie prepares to fight and capture a wild Ghastly or Haunter with Ghostface's Quick Attack, to which Liam sarcastically responds with "Yeah Quick Attack will work great." while holding in his contained laughter. When Woolie catches on Liam's comment, he changes his tactic to Kamina's Bite, which nets the same response as before from Liam.
• As per the result in the poll for a new Nuzlocke rule, they can no longer run from battles starting with Episode 21. This new restriction was hardly an issue as they had only run from a few battles before anyway. However, a Paras in the Safari Zone nearly caused what Liam joked as "the end of the playthrough" as it positively refused to flee despite Woolie throwing rock after rock at it.
• In part 28, when facing against one of the four Rocket brothers, Liam imitates him with a deadpan "You only found me because I'm the slowest of the Coward Brothers", causing the other two to lose their shit.
• After defeating Blaine, Woolie runs into Bill, who asks him to help out with something. "Something" turns out to be the Sevii Islands sidequest, which Woolie had no idea about due to it not being in the original games. Cue ten minutes of trying to escape the islands via boat and flying, only to find out they couldn't leave until a couple of sidequests were done. The guide they have even tells them that they'll be there for a while, much to Woolie and Matt's frustration.
• Due to Woolie skipping a fight in the early game on Route 23, he gets to fight Ja Rule Pre-Elite Four. After getting himself all worked up for the fight, even naming that part of the stream "Time to Murder Ja Rule", he goes onto Route 23, only to find nothing there. About after a minute of checking around, he realises he forgot to fight Giovanni.
• Only ten seconds into his appearance on the Nuzlocke Live Stream, and Pat was already driving Woolie up the walls by being... Pat.
• As it turns out, relying on the guide wouldn't have been a good idea anyway, as every enemy they fight after Ja Rule on Route 23 seems to use different Pokémon at different levels than what it tells them. Woolie went into the Elite Four under the impression the first member would have a Level 60+ team.
• The guys are applauding the team at the Hall of Fame screen when we get this last joke in:
  Woolie: Luda's looking down from above.
  Pat: So's Cool J
  Woolie: (Dismissive) Yeah, him too.
• The last words of the entire Nuzlocke
  Pat: FACKEN BULLSHET!

Resident Evil 4 HD

• The thumbnail used for the videos. It has to be seen to be believed.
• The fact that the Two Best Friends Wiki has a section devoted to all of Pat's failures after he bragged about playing the game multiple times and probably not going to die
  Pat: Did you see those dirtbags started a wiki article about every time I fuck up!?
  • The funnier part of that article is the section below the deaths which lists every single treasure that he managed to miss along with the exact sell price, reminding you of how many pesetas Pat missed out on and how much more money he could have had for upgrades. The total? 148,000.
• Like Resident Evil 2, Pat knows this game inside out, so he runs around trivializing encounters while sarcastically yelling "OH NO!" everytime he blows away a group of enemies.
• In Part 3, Matt and Pat start talking about Leon's melee attack and how it evolves into a Suplex. Matt mentions that he always wanted to suplex a priest, and Pat points out that this was the only reason he went to church.
  Pat: No, I gotta-I gotta save him! OH NO, I suplexed him!
  • This continued into Part 8, where Pat wishes religion and wrestling were closer, such as churches featuring live displays of priests "pile-driving a dummy of Satan". Matt is confused that Pat's church didn't have this.
• In Part 4, Pat talks about how, in the Mercenary Kings video, everyone said he sounded like PlagueOfGripes before he went nuts.
  Pat: So I talked to Plague about this, and he was like, "Ok, here's the test: draw a butt, and if you get an erection, you may have a problem."
• In Part 7, the first Garrador of the game has a little trouble finding Leon.
• Part 8 is a comedy of errors. In the infamous 'water room', Pat accidentally shoots Ashley twice. He then spends around a full minute trying to kill a single Novistador (invisible bug things) in close quarters.
  • Pat runs into "an awesome bug" he is familiar with: if you shoot an enemy's head off just before they initiate a grapple they will continue to grapple you while missing their head, and only die once you break the grapple (even if they're not one of the mooks that live on by sprouting a plaga from their head).
• In Part 10, Pat reveals that he has trouble with sliding tile puzzles and always stopped to look up a FAQ on how to complete the one in Ashley's playable section. After he gets some tips, he fares much better.
  Pat: Somebody has told me a pro-tip, which will hopefully solve the puzzle for me.
  (Pat finishes the puzzle just as he completes his sentence)
  Pat: Holy shit.
  Matt: (laughs) What an a-what an amazingly hard puzzle!
  Pat: Wow, I feel like an idiot now.
  Matt: When it comes down like that? Yeah.
  Pat: Oh god.
• In Part 11, Pat sells the Elegant Mask with two jewels under the assumption that he missed his chance to get the third one. He finds said third jewel in the next room. To top it off, he also gets attacked by a snake (when Matt had previously said that not being bitten would excuse all of his mistakes in the playthrough).
  • Lightning strikes twice in Part 16, where Pat sells a half-completed cat figurine. The final piece to complete the set (and double the value of the figurine) is in the same room as the salesman. Pat doesn't find the piece, either.
• Part 12 opens with Pat's "fixing" an upside-down grenade in his attaché case, after repeated complaints, by turning it sideways.
  Pat: What a mature response to comments!
  • Part 13 continues the trend.
    Pat: [laughs] I've turned into my father. I just realized that.
  • Part 14 gives us the moment when they finally actually address the issue...by going out of their way to transfer the magnum to the right side of the attache case while moving grenades and herbs around willy-nilly.
    Pat: Now why'd I come in here? Oh right, to heal myself. See, that's one of those moments when you realize "Oh man, I'm an asshole."
  • Part 16 has him finally stop messing with the attache case. Why, you might ask? Because before the episode even starts, Pat fucks up the contents of the case, only to get killed almost immediately, resetting the case and undoing his changes.
  • Pat's dickery all came to a close in Part 19 where he sold all of his grenades and even his rifle to afford the magnum exclusive in preparation for the final boss. Left with only three guns and some healing items, he finally ordered everything together on left...except for the scope which he forgot to sell and just shoved in the bottom right corner.
    Pat: I have been fighting my OCD this entire game. And today, I have deci- Oh, I still have the thermal. Ah, fuck it. Who gives a shit? Who's gonna stop me? No one.
    Matt: Well, people could.
    Pat: Is everyone happy now?
    Matt: It still looks like crap.
• Everything about the giant statue room in part 13, from Matt and Pat discussing the thought process behind building a "giant 3-foot tall statue", to the spawned enemies facing the wrong way, to Leon's animation clipping when he jumps on the statue's hands.
  • The priests get a bit confused when giant 3-foot tall statue hands come into play.
• In Part 14, Pat hides behind a corner to shoot at one of the armored militia ganado
  Pat: Back up just a little bit and he's gonna be all "hey what's up g-" [shoots him]
  (Pat turns away to take care of two more ganado before turning back and seeing the armored ganado standing in the same spot)
  Pat: Wow! You are just bad at your job!
  Matt: That armor doesn't make up for the smarts, I guess.
• In Part 15, they finally find Ashley behind a door while she pounds on it. Knowing that it's locked, Pat continues onward without bothering to interact with her. They then discuss the hilarity of Ashley seeing her savior only to have him continue past her without saying a word. Later, once they return with the key, Pat manages to completely walk by her room again by accident.
• Part 16 has Pat remember the existence of "Database" and go nuts at Matt having forgotten about it.
• Part 18 features Pat repeatedly getting blown to pieces from the skies by 'friendly' helicopter pilot Mike. Eventually the duo express confusion about how in the PC version Mike apparently waits for you to get near something before blowing it up.
• Less than ten minutes into part 20 (Separate Ways), Pat finds an Elegant Mask, immediately sells it, and finds two of the three gems required to complete it within the next five minutes.
• Also in part 20, Matt goes from talking about the 1990 Re-release of Night of the Living Dead to discussing City Avenging Bats to accidentally expressing his real thoughts on the Nuzlocke playthrough out loud within seconds.
  Matt: They get revenge for their dead parents.
  Pat: No they don't, they just go "Eh, I'm a bat!"
  Matt:Ah, I'm a Zubat! [Under his breath] Oh God, I'm gonna have to do more nuzlocke at some point...
  Pat: Oh Yeeaaah! Yeah that's audible, people can hear that shit! No walking back on that now!
• Pat then remembers that a chainsaw-wielding lady that he encounters will give him a good item if he kills her. He stuns her with a headshot, then kicks her off of the catwalk they're on into the water below them. Not to mention when he tried to kill her with a grenade, which fell through the slats of wood and into the water.
  Matt: Well, you fucked that up. Look down, maybe it's flashing in the water.
  Pat: No, I'm not even... because I know you're right.

Barkley Shut Up and Jam Gaiden

• Pat and Liam's hysterical reaction to the game over screen in Part 1.
• Part 2 sees the two encounter a sliding tile puzzle. Pat hands the controls to an eager Liam and sits back.
  Pat: Alright, Liam. Let's see if your tiny brain... you can totally do it.
  (Liam begins shuffling through the pieces quickly.)
  Pat: ...but the way you're doing it, at this speed, makes it seem like you totally—
  (Before Pat can finish his sentence, the puzzle's completed. Total time: 9 seconds.)
  Liam: (bashfully) I'm really good at these puzzles.
• Their reactions to a lot of the game's script can be seen as this, as the game lampoons common phrases from weeaboo and furry groups. Pat and Liam will often take a moment to give the game credit for how detailed the script is.
• From Part 5:
  Pat: Yeah, fate— no, don't say F.A.T.E. with all periods and shit.
  Liam: No, it's a thing.
  Pat: Okay. Well.
  Liam: It's a thing. It stands for Fairly Abstract... Time... Eeeeeh.
• In episode 7 they take a moment to reflect on how good they are as a team while playing, then take it a step further and conspire on how they're going to kill Matt and Woolie so the show will be only them.
• In Part 8, Hoopz getting shot with Type-2 Diabetes by Jordan.
  • Also, the rare, one-of-a-kind item that you can only get by giving the F.I.N.A.L. G.U.N. to the random NPC named Mark. It's a completely useless "Gun's Sticker" labeled 1 of 1, in crayon, that says I LOVE GUN'S.
    • Barkley's reaction to receiving the rare, one-of-a-kind item.
  Barkley: What.
• In Part 11, they use the whistle that takes the party into the B-Ball Dimension and expect Zelda music to play. Pat and Liam listen to the music, are silent for a few seconds, then lose their shit when they recognize it as "Sweet Georgia Brown".
• Just about the entirety of the finale, particularly the Stunned Silence to Shadow Barkley's final form.

Dark Souls II

• Pat explaining how most players "figure out" the series's Jigsaw Puzzle Plots.
  1. You go through the game and read all the item descriptions because you think it's going to help you.
  2. Beat the Final Boss and go "What? I don't get it."
  3. Play it again... and still don't get it.
  4. 2-6 months after release, listen to VaatiVidya or EpicNameBro explain the plot.
  5. Go through it again and go "OOOOOH!"
  6. Be a condescending prick to people on podcasts so people think you're super smart.
• Literally thirty seconds after gaining control of the player character, Woolie manages to find an item Pat always missed:
  Pat: Wow!
  Woolie: (laughing) Are you serious?
  Pat: Wow! Three trips—like ugh, no four... six trips through this area... never found that thing.
• Pat has several stock phrases and bits of advise he keeps giving Woolie, to the point where someone's made a video out of it.
• In Part 16, Woolie comes up against his first real roadblock: The Ruin Sentinels. The entire part is hilarious, and actually encompasses the Souls experience. Pretty much every part in the video is gold: from the frustration at some very close defeats, to Pat accidentally giving some bad timing cues, to summoning some allies only for them to make it worse, all culminating in an epic reaction from Woolie at the end of the video, when he is at last victorious.
• By Part 17, the comments and the Pat-Navi video above have finally caught up with the playthrough, so Pat and Woolie devote the episodes intro to poking fun at themselves:
  Pat: Hey! Listen!
  Woolie: Look! Watch out!
  Pat: Perfect!
  Beat
  Pat: Hey Woolie.
  Woolie: What's going on Navi?
  Pat: Drop your God! Damn! Fucking! SHIELD!
  • Every moment when Pat lapses into his old Verbal Tics again counts as a funny moment, especially if he catches himself doing it.
• In Part 19, Pat corrects and lampshades his mispronunciation of "brazier" as "brassiere".
  Pat: I saw that post. It's like "Pat, you keep saying 'bras'. I think you mean 'sconces'." You're right, that is what I mean.
• Also in Part 19, not five minutes after Woolie's near perfect defeat of the Belfry Gargoyles, he gets repeatedly and utterly destroyed by an NPC Phantom and pack of dogs, in an encounter that is reminiscent of the infamous Capra Demon. It culminates in Woolie getting backstabbed the second he jumps off the ladder.
• Part 22 begins with Woolie accidentally selecting Pat's save file instead of his own. Pat suggests taking the opportunity to show Woolie what Dual Wielding spears looks like. Woolie finds it so cool he decides he's not going to edit his screw-up out. He then proceeds to thrust the spears about a couple of times and very nearly hits the Emerald Herald, causing Pat to Freak Out.
  Pat: THAT'S MY SAVE FILE, MOTHERFUCKER!
  Woolie: *Laughs nervously*
• Near the end of Part 23, Woolie decides to give up on the Faith build after Faith was, in the wise words of Pat, "Nerfed to Shit". He instead decides to go for the Greatsword, and Pat becomes absolutely overjoyed. His pure glee is priceless.
  • Additionally, Woolie and Pat talking about the 'new lore' of Woolsworth.
  Woolie: Woolsworth used to be a man of faith. But when the gods abandoned him, he looked within himself and found his own strength.
  Youtube Comment: I heard he used to be a man of Faith, but the Gods of Dev turned their backs on him, taking his powers. Now he has put on the mask, the points protruding from it digging into his flesh, to give himself strength beyond that of a mortal man. He is undying, never truly killed even if his body seems to fall to ash. And if you see him, fear his might, and know that he shall kill you, and take from you the essence that gives you life. And as he takes everything from you the last terrible, awesome sound you will hear is his battle cry. "WRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!'''

  • The comment is even Hilarious in Hindsight because later, Woolie gets a helmet that is basically the Stone Mask in design.
• As Pat mentions, some people go crazy when they found Estus Flask Shards or Sublime Bone Dust (items that upgrade your most used means of healing), but forgot to use them. After mentioning this and discussing storyline implications of some Sublime Bone Dust they pick up at they end of the Iron Keep, they forget to use it until like an hour and two areas later.
• Woolie runs into Creighton and Pate fighting each other, and afterward Pat tells him who he should have sided with:
  Pat: And the correct choice is Creighton. Not because he's right, but because Pate already gave you his armor.
  Woolie: (laughs) Scum Souls!
  • Right after that Pat discusses how he follows "The Dark Souls Way": right before starting New Game Plus, you kill every single NPC to get their unique items. Woolie is understandable disturbed. He changes his mind after Creighton's chest kills him.
• Woolie pretended that he put Pat's toothbrush in the toilet. Pat was not amused.
  Pat: And that bothers me, in that all you had to do — you could have at no point gone into my bathroom during that entire day, and I'd know you wouldn't have, and told me that, and still—
  Woolie: Still.
  Pat: — still I would've been like, "But what if he did, though?"
  Woolie: Like today.
  Pat: Y'know what it is? Y'know what this is, Woolie? This is what it feels like to lose to Jotaro at cards.
• Woolie quoting Louis C.K. to describe The Dark and Pat's reaction.
  Woolie: It's a great, ancient African god just giving you a blowjob while speaking a dead language. *Begins making nonsense noises*
  Pat: ...A bit graphic.
  Woolie *Continues making nonsense noises and laughing*
  Pat: Not really applicable to this lore.
• Within the first five minutes of Part 40, the size of Woolsworth's balls nearly give Pat a heart attack as Woolie fearlessly begins exploring the Dark Chasm of Old: he walks into a bottomless pit within five seconds of entering, only realizes he's been standing on the edge when he lights a torch about twenty seconds later, then jumps the very same pit immediately thereafter, before Pat even has a chance to tell him there's a safe way around it.
• Starting as of Part 41, Pat and Woolie are both playing the game HUNGOVER. They even said that they are going to fall to utter shit, and it shows within the first few minutes if the episode.
• Plague's invasion attempt, which has been a long time coming, starts out with him flash stepping his way across a bridge and scaring the shit out of both Woolie and Pat... and then getting killed by Woolie without landing a hit because of his lag.
  Pat: I blame Kentucky internet.
• Part 59 starts off with a hilarious shitshow as Pat and Woolie attempt to do math to figure out how many titanite chunks they need to upgrade Woolie's two Caestus to max. They spend about a minute on this and, as Pat points out, every single thing they say is wrong.
• In part 60, Woolie gets invaded by an NPC programmed to flee into a dangerous area if his health gets too low. On Woolie's second try, the NPC flees and then dies offscreen by falling off the ledge.
• In part 61, Woolie finds a statue on a track, shooting a jet of flame, and finds that he can send it to the other end of the track if he hits it with his sword. When he gets to the end, he's baffled by an enemy who teleports around him, and hits the statue again by accident. This sends the statue back towards him, setting him on fire and killing him.
  Woolie: (bewildered) Physics don't work that way!
• Throughout part 67, Woolie has to relearn aiming his swing when he attacks. How does this part end? He attempts to hit a trigger, misses entirely, and falls off a cliff due to momentum.
• Pat shows Woolie a snowball on a ledge at the end of part 78, telling him to hit it. It rolls down, growing into a huge boulder, kills every enemy in its path, and plugs a hole in the bridge. Woolie decides to follow it down the steep slope, but the game's engine doesn't recognize "sliding" collisions, so he immediately dies from fall damage.
• In episode 82, after showing Woolie easily beating the Ivory King in the beginning of the video, their victory lap to Vendrick is interrupted by an invader who quickly kills Woolie while he struggles to fight back.
• Their finale in part 83 has three fantastic moments.
  • The first has Woolie choking on his first attempt against Darklurker with one hit needed to win. Especially funny is that he and Pat were completely shitting on the boss being easy compared to the DLC bosses they had been facing.
  • Their epic final boss fight against the Darklurker ends the only way it can for the two: The Darklurker's hitbox gets caught in a wall and he's unable to move or even fight back. Woolie winds up apologizing profusely as he beats the defenseless Darklurker into submission.
  • The second moment is in the very end, where after having the LP fade out to some nice music, the last 30 seconds of the video come back in to Woolie killing every NPC in Majula sped up to Yakety Sax.

Murdered: Soul Suspect

• Liam and Woolie did QA for the game, so naturally every single problem with the game, from minor stuttering to an awkwardly worded sentence, is greeted with an anguished cry of "Good job Woolie/Liam!"
  • And now a compilation of every time it happens.
• When shameless plugs go too far: After entering the police station, Matt and Pat find an enormous poster of Just Cause 2 right in the main hallway. Right after, they find a cop pretending to work at a computer with the Deus Ex: Human Revolution main menu on it. Then they find the same menu on half the computers in the precinct! They lose it.
• Their bafflement at the mini-quest where you have to help a ghost remember she died rescuing people from a shipwreck - the problem is, she spent decades on the beach where it happened, surrounded by ghostly memoirs of the event, and was remembered in the town as a hero! They compare it to an NPC starving until you hand them a nearby hamburger.
• Breaking Joy out of the police station in part 6 starts off well:
  Pat: If she just opens the door, I'm going to be-
  *Joy opens interrogation room door*
  Pat: SUPER MAD!!! WHAT THE HELL?!
• Matt passes off the controller to Pat, who notes how sweaty it is, leading to a very long discussion about whose hands are sweatier which becomes even funnier when you realize that Matt and Pat were feeling each other's hands during it.
  Matt: Your hands are so tiny.
  Pat: They are tiny, tiny hands. This it the truth.
• As usual, the last part of the video they tried to time so it would be about one-and-half to two times the length of a regular video. Except this time the game's ending came so suddenly that the finale was about half the length of a regular video.

Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes

• Talking about how the voice-actor of Skullface (who worked on 24 with Kiefer Sutherland, who plays Snake) got the role.
  Pat: "Hey, guy, we need a Skullface." He's like, "What's a skullface?" "It's YOU!"
• Their reaction to finding the very first XOF patch, which you find by forcing Big Boss to roll from side to side until it comes loose, triggering a hilariously OTT cutscene depicting Big Boss rolling around in as epic a manner as humanly possible.
• Pat running around with an unconscious enemy on his back for about a minute because he couldn't figure out how to put him down.
• While climbing up a ladder to a watchtower, Pat triggers an enemy and quickly tries to leave via ladder. The enemy does the same, and trips with Big Boss under him, falling—resulting in his death.
• The titlecard used for this playthrough. It's in reference to a narmy performance from Kaz's voice actor.
  • They lose their shit when they hear the actual line in-game.
• Their love for Big Boss' mullet. Matt even refers to it as a "Kentucky Waterfall".
• Matt's love of Big Boss' ass, and how lovingly rendered it is in the FOX engine.
• "You don't sound like Snake!"
• Pat's hilarious attempt to not get run over by the truck he used to sneak inside a building.
• Their adoration of the MSF operative and guessing about who such a badass might be comes to a predictably hilarious payoff when they realize it's Hideo Kojima himself.
• Liam's ballsy move to use take a still-living mook's rocket launcher, then immediately use it on him from about three feet away.
  Woolie: The last thing he feels is disbelief.
• Liam and Woolie lose their shit after what happens after finding the second prisoner in Deja Vu.

The Legend of Korra

• Liam and Woolie's predictable reaction to the final boss, an old man who's boss fight seems familiar.
  Both: Standing here/ I realize/ You're just like me/ Trying to make history...
• Woolie compares the spirit serpents Hundun uses as an attack to amazonian fish that swim up your dick. And then has to estabilish that no, he wasn't being crude, he was actually referring to fish that swim up your dick.

Prison Break

• Pat's reaction to one of the loading sequences - essentially a shaky-cam and terribly cut run through a prison corridor; He just sounds utterly confused, like the game tried to drop a Jump Scare on him that failed horribly. Matt notes it's a scene transition and is just as jarring in the TV series.
• In Part 2, Pat starts failing every button prompt and Stealth-Based Mission he can just to watch everyone's hilarious reaction. Then he realizes how much the stealth sections rely on pure luck.
  Pat: Is this a stealth game?
  walks directly in front of guard in lit environment without being noticed
  breaks into laughter
• "We're gonna get...CAUGHT!" Matt and Pat break into laughter listening to the game's lousy voice acting, right after talking about Metal Gear Solid's iffy acting.
• By the end of part 2, the game's lack of quality starts getting to Pat. It culminates in Matt reading off a loading screen mission briefing and highlighting why the plan makes no sense, and realizes that Pat is having trouble moving on.
  Matt: Press A, go! It's done loading. Press it. ...No! ...Why are you just laughing? ... Why are you just moving over to stop the recording?!
• "I need anti-insulin drugs to stop the race war."
• Basically every time they get "CAUGHT", as the Game Over screen is just the camera view desaturating and turning to zoom in on the guard/janitor who saw them (who's usually facing the other direction from them). Especially one moment in Part 3, where Pat sneaks into the kitchens by dangling from a pipe. He then tries to escape the same way, but a kitchen worker is right next to the pipe. The game pans to the worker just kinda staring at Pat as he dangles.
  • Part 8 starts off by turning to a wall that obstructs the entire screen, instead of zooming in on the guard with binoculars who saw him.
• Pat flipping his shit whenever Paxton talks into his secret recorder right in front of people.
• Pat is clearly reaching his breaking point by part 5. Between broken stealth mechanics, cryptic objectives, one particular guard who seems to actively troll him by constantly cutting off his escape routes, and rampant Checkpoint Starvation, one has to wonder how much more he can take.
• The...sound Pat makes during the tear gas QTE.
• Italian-American Sailor Moon. That is all that needs to be said.
• The... Just the noise Pat makes at one point in Part 6, when the game starts to repeatedly slap him in the face with the 'unscrewing fuse-box' puzzles and how ridiculously unfair they become, forcing him to restart over and over. It reaches the point where the Best Friends start to clip the footage, they have to restart that many times, and once they're through a particularly unfair part, Pat actively declares that it isn't worth it. Matt initially assumes he means that mission's objective, but then Pat clarifies he means playing the game in general.
• Pat remarks at one point in Part 7 how the voices for characters from other races sound like Matt doing an impersonation of said race. This follows other shoddy voice-work in the game, including a Latin-American voice being used by a Black character, as pointed out by the pair.
• Pat blatantly starting to not give a crap about failing and just rampantly running through particular areas with it actually working, further displaying how bizarre the game's stealth mechanics are; At several points, the indicators to show Paxton is being watched haven't appeared and they've hit 'game over', and by contrast, they've been at the point where three marks are featured to indicate the highest level of scrutiny from the guards... And nothing has happened.
• Pat hides behind a banister to avoid a guard walking around the grounds. The guard responds by walking into the banister.
  • To clarify, the guard catches Pat by clipping through the wall.
• The duo's repeated mockery of Mannix's terrible Irish accent.
  Mannix: Shut it! Your child is in a safe place! The best way to help her is to do as you're told.
  Pat: She's my little potato. There'll be a famine soon if you don't do what I say.
  • The mockery continues in the finale with the pair discussing how weirdly muscular Mannix is for someone seemingly so old - both in terrible Irish accents;
  Matt:DAMN THAT MANNIX AND HIS BEEFY ARMS!
  Pat: What a beef-man.
  Matt: *laughs hysterically* WHAT A BEEFMAN!
  Pat: You know why they call him Beef-Man, right?
  Matt: 'Cause he eats a lot of beef.
  • Something about the way Matt delivers the line "I got a chocolate frog! I got Dumbledore!" in a mock-Irish accent can send you into hysterics if you're not expecting him to say it.
• The final part features Pat being assaulted via quick-time event by an inmate who attempts to bludgeon him with a toilet. Pat dies deliberately to see what happens, but then the sequence turns out to be more tricky than he anticipated, and so Toilet Bludgeon Inmate almost gives him more trouble than the final boss of the game.
• Also during the finale, Matt stars quoting Nite Owl's confrontation of Ozymandias, with Paxton and Mannix taking the roles of Nite Owl and Ozymandias respectively.

The Walking Dead: Season Two

• The intro and outro images are hilarious themselves, with Clementine's face photoshopped over different action heroes.
  • To clarify, so far we've had The Terminator, Commando, Predator, Cobra, and Rambo at the very least.
• Pat is hungover and in control during the playthrough. Matt quickly discusses how much of a bad idea this is.
  *As Pat is looking through the title-cards of the episodes, with increasingly nervous reactions*
  Matt: I can't wait to see what monstrous choices you make. Where you kill everyone you can.
  *Pat sees the 4th episode, which is Clementine smearing blood on her face*
  Pat: Oh shit!
  Matt: Look, you're already making bad decisions!
  *Pat moves to the 5th episode's thumbnail which shows a skeleton half buried in snow*
  Matt: Look, she's dead in that shot! Good going, Pat!
  Pat: That's not Clementine! That's a dude!
  Matt: That will be her once you're done with her!
• Matt and Pat constantly making KennyxBoat jokes.
• Matt recapping one of the "highlights" of season one.
  Matt: Remember when Ben got overpowered by cancer patients!?
• In a Black Comedy sense, the duo's horrified reactions of Omid getting unceremoniously killed near the beginning of the game.
  Pat: NOOO! We are like only five minutes in!
  Matt: Fuck this! This video's over!
• As soon as Clementine mentions her parents "were already dead", Pat and Matt start singing Fist of the North Star immediately. Then Lee is Black Kenshiro who teaches History.
• They imagine playing Clem as always trying to get her hands on a gun.
  Pat: "I really need something to shoot a pregnant woman with."
• During Clementine and Luke's fight on the bridge, Matt and Pat make note of the fact that they keep dropping weapons.
  Pat: He drops his machete, I dropped the hammer and the machete?!
  Matt: What's next, dropping a shield?
  Pat: [Sharp exhale]... Fuck you.
  Matt: You set it up.
  Pat: I set it up.
• Their reaction when they find out Kenny survived the events of the first season.
• Pat's comment on Luke's character design.
  Pat: (almost bewildered) He's kind of dreamy!
• Pat's reaction when Carver's group arrive at the sky lodge.
  (The camera focuses on Bonnie arriving with Carver's group)
  Pat: BOONNIEEE!
  Matt: Yeah.
• At the beginning of episode three:
  Carver: Where's your manners?
  Pat: Fuck you. Fuck you, you prick.
  Matt (As Carver): I like your moxy—
  (Carver slaps Clementine to the ground.)
  Both: OHHHHHHH!
• Pat's dumbfounded, Angrish-filled reaction when Kenny beats Arvo unconscious.
• At the start of Part 10, when Sarita is dying on the ground as Kenny panics, Pat nonchalantly asks if he can just stab Sarita right there and then. Not two seconds later, he's given that exact option.
  • Especially great because it's given the hypest of Call Backs.
    Pat: How do you feel about Larry now, asshole?
• In part 12, Pat's reaction to AJ's Disney Death.
  Pat: Baby's dead. Great. Awesome. ALL OF THIS, FOR NOTHING.
  Matt: It's also clearly Carver's baby.
  Pat: And it's CLEARLY Carver's baby.
  (AJ starts breathing.)
  Both: Heeeeeey!
  Pat (as Kenny): GREAT. NOW THE BABY'S ALIVE.
• No matter how you feel about their treatment of Kenny, it's pretty funny when they speak as Alvin Jr. and give him the same voice as George Takei.
• The final episode gives us some Tempting Fate.
  Pat: They're not going to hurt me.
  (Arvo shoots Clementine.)

Guacamelee Super Turbo Championship Edition

• Throughout the playthrough, Woolie and Liam's complete inability to imitate a Mexican accent.
• Episode 1: Woolie and Liam discuss the game's categorization as a Metroidvania game (well, really, just Metroid, and no Castlevania, due to the lack of RPG elements), and Liam declaring that he'd like to play Super Duper Metroid.
• Episode 1: Woolie confuses donkeys and goats, much to Liam's amusement.
• Part 8 introduces us to some new lore: Liam is terrified of booty, which leads to Woolie discussing a scenario where they bring Liam to a strip club for his birthday and he has a panic attack.
• Somewhere between parts 6 - 8, Liam takes up the second controller. Guess how long it takes him to start dicking over Woolie by switching between dimensions during platforming sections?
  • And then in Part 10, having turned off co-op to facilitate a jumping puzzle, Liam starts asking Woolie what his favorite Mega Man games are.
• Episode 12 has the duo put on some custom skins for the main characters. Woolie actually uses a Woolie skin a fan made, and has Liam play as Chie.

D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die

• Their reactions to some of the object descriptions in the game.
  (When hovering over Amanda)
  Amanda
  Freeloading lodger
  Smells like grass
  Duck feathers in whiskers
  (Liam pushes her a few times, causing her to meow)
  Pat: What the shit?!
• The fortune cookies in Part 1. Bonus points for them being read in a robotic text to speech voice, and David's over the top reactions to them.
  "In ancient Rome, they apparently wiped their butts using leaves."
  "If you can't sleep, stop wasting time in bed. Get up. Live longer."
  "The world is money."
• A certain character from another SWERY game making an appearance in part 2.
  Pat: That guy looks familiar...
  The character's title card appears
  Matt: 'CAUSE IT'S FORREST KAYSEN!!
  Liam: Wait, it's just him?!
  Matt: (laughing)
  Pat: WHAT.
• 'Bostonians'. The entire thing.
• Their reactions upon first meeting ridiculously over-the-top campy "fashion designer" Duncan and his mannequin, er, "partner", Sukey.
  Duncan: We're top fashion designers, the both of us.
  Pat: And she has all the good ideas.
• They burst out laughing in the final episode when David tells Derek that "You aren't the D I'm chasing."

The Evil Within

• Matt and Pat's various nicknames for the main character Sebastian, starting with Nick Castellanonanonos and George Stropadopoulos, and moving onto increasingly ridiculous ones like Nicholaspickleus, Spaghettimeatballs, Castellanotyrannosaurus, and Kratosmagalagadingdong. And Frank Castle.
  • Pat's most common nickname for Sebastian is Sea Bass. Double funny with their jokes about his seeming lack of personality.
• Matt's idea of reviving Joseph is to massage his balls. Now with fanart!
• In Part 3, Matt and Pat are trying to figure out how to quickly descend from a ladder when Pat presses the wrong button and Sebastian ends up falling down the ladder and taking exactly zero Fall Damage, continuing the climb animation when he reaches the bottom. Moments later, in an exemplar of Gameplay and Story Segregation, a guy falls to his death from the exact same platform that Sebastian was climbing down from.
• Matt and Pat being repeatedly spooked by their character's own shadow.
• The various Good Bad Bugs in Part 6, including:
  • Sebastian's awesome spin-kick on a downed Haunted.
  • Joseph Oda's glorious bout of Artificial Stupidity as an enemy rises from the ground.
  • The game crashing for the second time in two parts, and Pat's reaction to it. And then it crashes again at the end of the episode.
    • When Pat tries to continue playing solo with the PS4 version, the game still manages to crash.
• Their Running Gag of calling Joseph Jonathan. The fact that it's apparently unintentional makes it even better.
• Just barely past the 17 minute mark of Part 14, the episode pauses for a moment to explain that their audio had completely crapped out. Pat mentions that they had to replay a full 38 minutes, and they now realize several mistakes, one being intentionally setting off an explosive tripwire because he (wrongly) assumed it was unavoidable. It cuts to their footage (minus their audio) of Sebastian standing in front of the tripwire as the camera pans back-and-forth. He then takes a step forward, and the whole mechanism blows up in his face.
• The sheer number of technical issues has convinced Pat that Evil Within is cursed. As of part 27:
  • The game has crashed four times. Three occur within one session on PC and convinced Pat to start over on the PS4. Then the fourth crash occurred while trying to get back to where he left off.
  • Their audio recording shut down half way through part 14, forcing them to replay about 38 minutes worth.
  • Pat's PS4's GPU melted shortly after part 26 and now he and Matt have to play on Matt's PS4. They start part 27 wondering if the same will happen to Matt's.
• Matt's answer to any plot-related questions being "Buy the DLC", and Pat's increasingly irritated response that they have both already paid for it (for multiple systems, in Pat's case).
• The insistence from parts of the fanbase at one point was that they needed to stop comparing it to Resident Evil 4. Both Matt and Pat responded in later episodes that this is basically impossible because The Evil Within is, for the most part, trying so hard to be Resident Evil 4.

Def Jam Fight for NY

• The first thing Matt and Woolie do upon starting the game is set up the music list. Matt removes all songs by Bless and puts COMP at the very bottom of the list.
  • Despite this, COMP still gets some frequent playtime. When it begins playing again in the fourth episode. Matt is in disbelief and Woolie is ecstatic.
  • And again in Part 6:
    Matt: We put it all the way down!
    Woolie: I told you you can't fight it, dude! It doesn't matter where — you forgot about that! You could put it at the lowest priority and turn it off — it still plays! It's a bug!
• Everything about Rage as a character, as he's essentially Black Akuma.
  Woolie: So, here's Rage's backstory: "Once upon a time there was a big black man. He was really angry." (Beat) Go! Begin!
  • Then there's the fact that Rage was created by Woolie's brother, a man who hilariously went on to become a preacher.
• "Rage doesn't need a watch because the time is always Armageddon!"
• The mental image of Rage and D-Mob helping Nanako grow vegetables.
• Woolie and Matt describing how Rage would react to a woman's advances.
  • Being kissed: WHAT ATTACK IS THIS?!
  • Getting invited back to her room: Teach me your techniques, they appeared powerful.
• "Introducing Fat Joe as Crack, named after his album Crack with hit-song... Crack!
• The whole scene in part 5 where D-Mob and Crow have a staredown at one of Crow's clubs. Highlights include:
  • Carmen Electra disses Crow after Rage wins against WC.
  Carmen Electra: Looks like my man just took another of your clowns, Crow.
  Matt-as-Crow: How 'bout I kill you?
  • Woolie: WC's looking around like, "Wuh? I don't get it."
• Matt's reaction to seeing Bless in part 7? An absolutely horrified scream.
  • Oh, and just to compound Matt's misery, guess which song is playing when this happens?
• Matt and Woolie notice how big Crow's hat is, and imagine a scenario where, as Rage cuts Crow's ego down, he compensates with bigger and bigger hats.
  • They also imagine another scenario where WC fails so hard that the west coast just revokes his name and banishes him to a nomadic life in middle America as "The Man With No Coast".
• Making fun of Pockets in part 10, gradually adapting him into a Saturday-Morning Cartoon protagonist.
  • Matt's utterly betrayed reaction to having to fight Henry Rollins, the guy the player character goes to to level up abilities and learn new moves.
  Rollins: So how'd a punk like you even end up in here?
  Matt: You trained me! You son of a bitch!
• Matt and Woolie talking in Part 12 about Rage's inability to relate to most of what hip-hop and rap talk about, since money and women don't have anything to do with being an unstoppable juggernaut of awesome power.
  Matt: "Bubble butt! Bubble-bubble-bubble butt!"
  Matt-as-Rage: I think— No, I lost it.
• After the final showdown with Crow, Matt has updated Rage to Shin!Rage and decided to have one last battle with Bless. Just as the fight began, guess how Woolie decided to troll Matt?