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Volcano Movies: Dante's Peak vs. Volcano!
- Lindsey's very first words are a lackluster "Volcano movies!"
- To demonstrate how much of a rip-off Dante's Peak is of Twister, she photoshops the latter's poster to have a volcano and literally calls it "Twister with a volcano."
- The reaction to When Time Ran Out....Chick: Hah, this is amazing. Why am I not reviewing this?
- "Volcanos really hate fornication and will do anything to stop it."
- After a particularly bad Spock impression from Pierce Brosnan, she's horrified and asks how he could have been James Bond.
- Calling Tommy Lee Jones in Volcano a "noble gas" because he has so little chemistry with anyone else.
- "Stan vs Grandma," the game of who can have the stupidest noble sacrifice. After she sees Stan burn up alive, she's freaked out and declares him the winner.
- The ending with the Take That! to Pompeii.Chick: With the release of Pompeii, we might finally have a decent volcano movie.*beat**she descends into giggling*
Nostalgic Foods
- Their tongue-in-cheek memories of the US government's ban on pizza at any time but dinner.
- Nella's Spaghetti Kiss with Mara via a Fruit By The Foot roll. Both of them crack up several times in the middle of it.
- "This tastes like first grade."
- Nella stating how much she judges Mara and Lindsay for eating Chef Boyardee as kids.
- Nella and Mara's explanations for why they (or rather, their characters) are there; "I'm under contract," and "I'm evil," respectively.
Divergent & YA Movies
- The Chick pronouncing "City of Bones" as "City of Boners".
- The Chick continually returning to how awful the set of The Host was. She just can't help herself.
The Day After Tomorrow
- The Chick focuses on how Emmerich's clumsy multiculturalism seems to come from a place of innocence, unlike... other directors. And to illustrate, she uses all of Anthony Anderson's scenes from Transformers (2007).Chick: Like Michael Bay, Roland Emmerich does in fact think you are stupid. However, unlike Bay, he doesn't seem to hate you or look down on you for that.
Independence Day vs. War of the Worlds
- Struggling to come up with a term for the 2000-2009 period.Chick: Come on guys, it's been five years since that decade ended, agree on a name.
- Her Nightmare Fetishist Squee on how great the tripods are in War of the Worlds (2005):Chick: Hell I'd watch an entire movie of tripods. Tripods massacring people, sucking out the blood, burning the innocent, new and innovative ways of- aaagh fuck yes tripods!
- In the midst of explaining why the nineties were actually awesome, expressing a "f*ck you" to Reality Bites.
- Expressing how 2005 sucked by playing "My Humps," calling the music charts "dominated by pain and suffering."
- The Chick asks what could have possibly happened in 2001 that caused American action movies to drift in a more grim, existential direction... and attributes the blame to Pearl Harbor.
- Right in the middle of the Chick's unrepentant fangirling over Steven Spielberg's directing is this:The Chick: -almost entirely on real sets! REAL SETS! Oh the real sets look at the real— ooooh. Crashed plane. Awkward.
- "It's a fun-pocalypse! Weee!"
- Comparing 90s Batman with the Bat credit card, to the 2000s Batman with Bale screaming at a mook.
- Her Roland Emmerich impression concerning the designs of the Independence Day aliens.
- Getting completely distracted by the much lower gas prices in War of the Worlds (2005) and trailing off into Stunned Silence.
- Motor Mouthing all the movies where Spielberg shoved his daddy issues in.
True Lies
- "True Lies is James Cameron throwing his hands & credibility into the air and going, 'F*ck you brown people, f*ck you annoying children, f*ck you women, shooting solves everything! I am totally dealing with my divorce by way of making movies and f*ck everyone and ah—AHHHHHH! WHEEEEE!'"Tom Arnold: We're gonna catch some terrorists, we're gonna beat the crap out of them, and you're gonna feel a hell of a lot better!"
- Lindsay has to take a good deal of time to work up the composure to say "Crimson Jihad" without laughing.
- "Crimson Jihad isn't a terror group, it's the name of the alt-rock group you had in college that lasted like a month. "We're called 'Crimson Jihad,' but we're thinking of changing the name."
- Lindsay shamefully admits she sorta loves the movie and attempts to sink out of frame.
- After stating that she doesn't usually do the linear thing but has to this time to get across how gloriously messed up it is, cracking every knuckle she has before getting to the review.
- Relating to the idea that “one's ex in the NSA is monitoring them illegally... seriously, not okay Gary”.
- “and we find out that Arnie has that goofy accent in every language, to the point where the subtitles have to clarify that yes he is intelligible.”
- All the descriptions of how flimsy the movie's plot is, like held together with “balsa wood” or “day old gum”.
- Her girl!crush on Jamie Lee Curtis.
- Her garbled screaming impersonation of Arnold looking raged pissed in his ski mask.
- Disbelievingly nodding her head for a few seconds at Arnold's awful Slut-Shaming plan for his wife before quickly changing the subject and asking how's the Crimson Jihad thing going.
- Feeling so dirty at the terrorist plot being played for screwball comedy (“I think I need a shower”) and comparing the 'satire' to Team America: World Police.
- In the sum-up, saying it's not so much a Cameron movie than a proto-Bay movie “...if Michael Bay liked actors.”
- After the striptease scene, wondering what would have happened if the A Plot hadn't barged in.
- Chick!Helen: Yes it does look bad Harry, do you want to explain what you were doing?Chick!Harry: Uh, well...Chick!Helen: Was that you in the torture room of trauma demanding to know the details of my sex life?Chick!Harry: [silence]Chick!Helen: And you had me do a sexy dance for you all the while I thought that I was spying on some international criminal mastermind, and you thought I'd like that?Chick!Harry: Well...
[Helen knocks him out and leaves, signified by the rapid clickclickclick of her heels]
