Funny / Star Trek: Discovery

Funny moments in Star Trek: Discovery.

WARNING: Spoilers are unmarked.

Season 1

"The Vulcan Hello"

• While debating whether the destruction of a Federation communications relay was a random mishap or an act of malice, Saru insists that it must be malicious, fully expecting Burnham to disregard his concerns. While she does needle him for his paranoid tendencies, Burnham states that she agrees with him (much to Saru's surprise). Georgiou remarks to the bridge crew that both of her senior officers agree on something and asks to have it noted in the ship's log.
• Saru complains that he can't get a solid lock with the ship's sensors to determine a mystery object's nature. Burnham's response is to physically crowd Saru off of his own station to read the sensor data out loud (mostly just giving off its position relative to Shenzhou). Saru bumps Burnham back out of the way and states that he cannot determine anything useful about it, as opposed to just reading numbers off of a screen like anyone could do. One gets the impression of a pair of bickering siblings, with Georgiou filing the role of an amused parent. (The smirk on her face and the above comment about how rarely Saru and Burnham agree on anything suggest that this isn't the first time that she's watched a scene like this play out.)
• The officers wonder how they can get a fix on an object in the star system's debris ring (later revealed to be the Klingon beacon) when the ship's sensors cannot lock on. Cut to Burnham, Georgiou, and Saru using the telescope in the captain's ready room to zoom in on the object visually.
• Saru protests Burnham's plan to EVA out to the object due to the hazardous radiation. His description of the effects that it would have on her very genetic makeup should be terrifying, except for his choice of words for how her genes would unravel:
  Burnham: [mock terror] Like noodles?!
• Georgiou suggests, for the sake of safety, that Saru should accompany Burnham on the EVA, only to watch both of them immediately protest: Burnham feels that bringing him along would only add to the risk, and Saru doesn't want to go.
  Georgiou: And you, Mr. Saru? Are you equally happy not to be put at risk?
  Saru: Oh, on any occasion, Captain.
• Ensign Connor narrating Burnham's EVA launch like an airline flight. It only adds to the Tear Jerker factor when Connor is later killed during the battle in the following episode.
  Connor: Commander Burnham, this is Ensign Danby Connor. On behalf of Captain Georgiou and the entire crew of the U.S.S. Shenzhou, we'd like to welcome you to flight 819 with non-stop service to the object of unknown origin. The temperature outside is a brisk -260 degrees Celsius. We are forecasting some mild debris, but anticipate a smooth ride.
• The Reveal that Georgiou had her and Burnham tramp around the desert to make an enormous Starfleet logo in the sand to signal the Shenzhou. After all, if you're going to call for a rescue, why not do it in style?
• Admiral Anderson dryly suggests that Burnham should, in the future, avoid disturbing ancient cultural artifacts belonging to warrior races that the Federation hasn't dealt with in a hundred years. Given how frequently "disturb dangerous ancient artifact" was a plot line in previous shows, he's wise to make the suggestion.
• Sarek, while conferring with Burnham via hologram, manages to lean against a piece of furniture in her quarters. Either the software running the hologram is smart enough to adjust for differing room layouts to avoid Sarek clipping through a table when he sits down, or Sarek and Burnham have the exact same furniture layout.

"The Battle at the Binary Star"

• A flashback shows Burnham's arrival aboard the Shenzhou several years earlier, accompanied by Sarek. Burnham's stiffness and insistence on proper protocol lead Georgiou to puckishly suggest treating it as a First Contact situation, much to Burnham's consternation.
  • Sarek has some parting advice for his adopted daughter/protege just before he leaves.
    Sarek: [under his breath] Behave.

"Context is for Kings"

• In the midst of an otherwise very ominous and tense scene aboard the derelict USS Glenn, the boarding party encounters a lone Klingon who tries to warn them to be quiet with a very human-esque "shh."
  Landry: [normal voice] Is he shushing you?
  • Cue the monster leaping out of the shadows and killing the Klingon, while the away team hauls ass in the other direction.
• When they're trying to break open a door to get away from the alien monster trying (and slowly succeeding) to break down another door to get to them, Burnham asks for a phaser. Landry tells her that she doesn't get to have one, but after Burnham basically says she wants to distract it, Stamets almost instantly and silently tosses his over to her. Given how much he's shown to dislike her, one way to interpret his action is him thinking "The person I hate wants to be bait for a murderous monster? Be my guest."
  • Also funny is her "distraction":
    [The monster breaks through the door and looks at the people near the other door.]
    Burnham: [calmly] Hey.
    [She shoots it three times and it turns its attention to her]
    Burnham: [under her breath] Shit, that worked!
    [She turns around and runs like a bat out of hell towards the ventilation system.]
• Burnham meets Captain Lorca, standing in his darkened ready room, looking out the window at the stars. He mentions an eye injury that requires him to very slowly adjust the lighting in his quarters.
  Lorca: I like to think it makes me mysterious. [Beat, turns to see Burnham silently staring at him] No?
  • He then entirely kills the moment by offering Burnham some fortune cookies.
  • Do note that, through the entire ominous start of this scene, you can clearly hear his pet tribble cooing away.
  • Lorca, the mysterious, plotting, vaguely threatening captain, has a pet tribble in his ready room, which he keeps within a few feet of a bowl of fortune cookies. Either that thing devours them when he's not around, or Lorca is so menacing that he can keep a tribble away from a bowl of food.
    • Well, it's those...or tribbles just aren't interested in sugared and baked wallpaper paste with horrible quotes, rhymes or puns stuffed in them. Which is just as funny.
  • This also serves as a bit of Self-Deprecation on the franchise's tendency to nonsensically turn the lights off during serious meetings.
• When Stamets protests Burnham being on the away party, Lorca asks Saru to assess his former crewmate.
  Saru: She is the smartest Starfleet officer I have ever known.
  Lorca: [to Stamets] Huh. And he knows you.
• Cadet Tilly is a spaz, full stop. About 90% of Burnham's responses to anything at all she says is basically a Flat "What".

"The Butcher's Knife Cares Not for the Lamb's Cry"

• The show opens with what looks like an alien landscape with energy bursts, then zooming out to reveal the "sky" looks the same, zooms out further to show pillars growing between ground and sky with energy strikes growing more intense and zooms out even further with dramatic orchestral music to reveal...that it's a clothing fabricator making Burnham's new uniform.
  • If anything, the joke is even funnier when The Last Jedi did basically the same joke with a Forced Perspective close-up of a clothing iron.
• Tilly brings in a package for Burnham.
  Tilly: This was sent for you. You were in the shower when that ping went off and that's how I-I was fully clothed so I thought I-I'd save you a trip to the depot—
  Burnham: Tilly....
  Tilly: Yes. Well, less extraneous words.
• After Stamets takes a skull fracture that nearly damages his frontal lobe, he dismisses it as "overrated" as it only controls memories and emotions. Dr. Culber decides to save it anyway, "just in case you decide to have a feeling one day".
• Poor "Ripper" gets (mis)named that by Landry (because that bug is not really aggressive if left to his/her own devices)...and, then promptly rips her apart when she gets overly belligerent and way too cocky when trying to get a "sample" while Ripper isn't as far under the anesthetic as she thought. It's rather darkly amusing.
• Stamets is jealous that Ripper the Giant Tardigrade can somehow communicate with the spores.
  Stamets: Well, that's unfair. I always wanted to converse with my mushrooms.

"Choose your Pain"

• Burnham thinking she can flatter Stamets into agreeing with her about the tardigrade's condition. He twigs on immediately.
  Burnham: Lieutenant Stamets. Your spore drive is genius. Beyond genius. What you've achieved for the war effort, for the whole of science itself, it's a contribution...
  Stamets: I know I'm brilliant. What are you trying to get out of me?
• For the very first time in any canon Trek series:
  Tilly: You guys, this is so fucking cool! [Beat, as Stamets has an expression on his face similar to what longtime Trek fans probably had at that moment] I'm so sorry.
  Stamets: No, Cadet. It is fucking cool.
• Mudd is outraged that Tyler and Lorca conned him.
• Tyler repeatedly punching L'Rell probably sends some mixed messages if you understand Klingon courtship. Of course, understanding Klingon courtship leads to her prior abuse of him making a certain unsettling sense as well.

"Lethe"

• Tilly accidentally insults Michael, implying that she has no personality, and instantly backtracks as she tries to keep up with her.
• During Lorca and Tyler's training exercise, the last part of the simulation involved a double column of Klingons running down the hall while Tyler easily gunned them down. It looks hysterically funny, as if Tyler modded the simulation just to run up his score.
• Burnham and Tilly argue over what Tilly should have for breakfast.
• When Burnham and Tilly are exercising, the background music sounds like the main theme — remixed through an old Game Boy.
• The food stations on Discovery helpfully provide nutritional information on the meals ordered.
• Fridge Brilliance to go along with your dose of funny: When Tilly and Burnham meet Tyler, Tilly flounces over and starts talking to Tyler in a very familiar manner, a person to whom she has never been introduced. In most cultures, it would be considered very presumptuous, but she kicks Burnham under the table when Burnham doesn't shake Tyler's hand when he introduces himself to her.
• Stamets' exposure to the spore drive in the previous episode has apparently mellowed him out to the point he acts like he's on a permanent high. Well, he is taking in shrooms...
• Michael responds to “are you really that crazy?” with a Fascinating Eyebrow. Stamets takes that as a yes.
• In an unintentional bit of humor, Discovery has custom t-shirts which simply say "Disco." Apparently Starfleet charges by the letter. One wonders if these will be used as an equivalent to redshirts.
  • Or it'll be revealed at some point that disco's no longer dead (which, given next episode's party, isn't so far-fetched).
• Burnham has to go into Sarek's mind to try and save his life, but in his injured and distressed state, Sarek is disoriented and acting on defensive instinct. Which is to say that he angrily turns on her and hadoukens her out of of his head.
• Burnham wants to talk to Sarek about why he lied to her about why she wasn't accepted into the Vulcan Expeditionary Group. Sarek finds several excuses in rapid succession to avoid the discussion. Burnham leaves, promising that they will have that discussion some day, pointedly referring to him as "Father." The look on Sarek's face afterwards can best be described as "Why me?" Sarek: Renowned diplomat, but not scoring so hot on the "Father of the Year" competition.

"Magic to Make the sanest Man Go Mad"

• The dread and horrible challenge known as...a party.
• Drunk Tilly.
  • On that note, Stamets' "I just saw the hottest guy over there and he's in a band" to get Tilly out of his hair.
  • Tilly mentions that she used to be into soldiers, but now she's into musicians. Spotting Tyler walking over, she declares that her soldier thing is back.
  • Tilly and Stamets as Shippers On Deck for Tyler and Burnham. Even with Stamets explicitly having an agenda since he needs Tyler's help and Tyler won't listen to him but will listen to Burnham.
• Mushroom Samba Stamets:
  • Before they get caught in the loop, Stamets is shown as acting like he's totally stoned due to his genetic alteration.
  • The "WTF?" look on Burnham's face when Stamets hugs her after they collide in the corridor. And then Stamets saying to Tyler "You're a very tall man" for no good reason.
  • Bonus points for a visibly confused Dr. Culber valiantly trying to do damage control for "filters off" Stamets.
• Lorca's commentary on how a gormagander will get so caught up with feeding that it forgets about mating: "That's as depressing a trait as I've ever heard."
• Mudd's beautiful line on Starfleet ships.
  Mudd: There really are too many ways to blow up this ship. It's like a design flaw.
• Although it involves casual murder, there's something darkly amusing about all the different ways Mudd kills Lorca.
  • Watching this again after The Reveal about who Lorca really is, what he's done, and what he's still planning to do makes it even funnier.
• Mudd's spacesuit has a helmet that looks like a ridiculous ant head with big eyes and antennae. Word of God is that it's styled after the Andorians, but with wildly exaggerated features.
• After being warned about the Space Whale by Stamets, Burnham requests lead on scientific analysis. Lorca's response: "I don't give a damn."
  • Tyler then requests to provide security oversight. Lorca: "I still don't give a damn."
• Every time Saru tries to explain that the Space Whale is not a fish, Lorca just stares at him.
• Just the fact that the alien is straight up described as a Space Whale.
• There's something darkly humorous about Mudd's pained "dammit I gotta do this all over again" expression when Burnham vaporizes herself and he can't then sell her to the Klingons. There's more than a little of a "why go to all this painful trouble, you *know* I can just undo it, right?" vibe to it.
• Stamets comically screwing up the Trust Password with Burnham. Though it's set up seriously when she's whispering in his ear, the next reset he just walks up to her and blurts out "You've never been in love!" without preamble. Burnham understandably reacts as though he's on drugs.^note Which, in his defense, he sort of is.
• Stamets' irritable "can you let me lead, please?" to Burnham, when they are are dancing.
  • In the same scene: "Dance with me. For Science!"
• Mudd nick-naming Saru "Lanky" and calling him "the beanpole".
  • And making a snide comment about "Random Communications Officer Man", making it explicit how the average Red Shirt is viewed in this franchise.
• "CAPTAIN MUDD??"
• "I never thought I would say this, but I'm actually tired of gloating."
• When the crew put the unexplained plan into action: Mudd enters the bridge, Lorca greets him as "Captain Mudd," and stands to offer him his chair. Mudd is seriously wigged out by this and suspects that they are trying to con him again (He's right, and at the same time has no idea.)
• The way the heroes finally win the day: They call Mudd's wife and she promptly comes to take him off of their hands. It brings to mind Trelane and his parents in TOS.
• Every time the loop resets (triggered by the destruction of Discovery and the death of her crew), we cut back to the party, where the DJ is blasting out "Staying Alive."
  • Going off a joke from Star Trek Beyond, we are left with the implicitly-absurd scenario of a group of Starfleet officers partying out to classical music.
    • Then again, it's not like there aren't disco remixes of classical music. Which means this is simply the 23rd-century equivalent.
    • And it turns out the song is a remix! It's actually Wyclef Jean's "We Tryin' To Stay Alive", which, to be fair, would also be considered "classical" music.

"Into the Forest I Go"

• Once they've managed to defeat the Klingon cloaking device, Lorca orders a massive volley of photon torpedoes unloaded at the Ship of the Dead. Just before giving the order to fire, he gives himself a fresh dose of the medication which treats his sensitivity to light. Evidently, just so he could watch the explosion.

"Despite Yourself"

• The Discovery has to pose as its Mirror Universe counterpart. The biggest obstacle to that is that the captain of the ISS Discovery is Tilly. Yes, the awkward and extremely non-threatening cadet has to pretend to be a vicious war criminal and while she ultimately manages to pull it off, her struggles to do so are hilarious:
  • Tilly's first attempt at impersonation causes her to turn into a sputtering mess, so she has to get Lorca to pretend to be the chief engineer and bail her out. Lorca chooses a strange but familiar Scottish accent to disguise his voice with, much to the amusement of the bridge crew.
  • Captain Tilly's nicknames include "The Slayer of Sorna Prime," "The Witch of Wurna Minor," and...
    Saru: "Captain Killy"? That's not very clever.
    • His tone is what sells that line. Of all the awful qualities the Terrans have, that is what Saru chooses to be judgemental about, their lack of creativity?
  • Tilly at one point tells the commander of the ISS Shenzhou that if he greeted her the way he greeted his long-lost captain, she would cut out his tongue and use it to lick her boots with a Psychotic Smirk. When the call is over, she looks pretty much like she wants to vomit.
    • Mirror!Connor's reaction to the above warning is a grin which could be interpreted as more admiring of Captain Killy's ruthlessness than intimidated by it.
  • Mirror!Tilly's uniform features a low-cut breastplate, in comparison to Burnham's more conservative attire. Tilly quips that her mother would approve.
  • To get into the Captain Killy mindset, Tilly tries going into Sir Swears-a-Lot mode, calling the Terrans they're about to meet "assholes" and bossing around Discovery's bridge crew. Lorca approves. He'd know!
• After a brutal knife fight in the turbolift, Burnham kills Mirror!Connor and chucks his corpse onto the ISS Shenzhou's bridge. The bridge crew's reaction? Slow Clap. Black Comedy at its finest.

"Vaulting Ambition"

• Emperor Philippa Georgiou's overly long list of cognomens is as impressive as it is hammy: Mother of the Fatherland, Overlord of Vulcan, Dominus of Kronos, Regina Andor, Emperor Philippa Georgiou Augustus Iaponius Centarius.
• Burnham compliments the food served at the Emperor's table, and is visibly distressed to learn that she's eating the Kelpien the Emperor made her choose earlier.
• Burnham, standing before the Emperor, tells her that she isn't Michael Burnham, Captain of the Shenzhou and adopted daughter of the Emperor, but rather her double from the Prime Universe, offering Captain Georgiou's Starfleet badge as proof. As soon as the Emperor verifies her story, she kills her entire court without warning, save for one Lord, who she offers the governorship of Andor if he can keep this information secret - and clean up the bodies.
• Even though he's an amoral bastard with no loyalty to anyone but himself, Mirror Stamets earns a chuckle for trolling his prime counterpart in the mycelial network.
  Prime Stamets: What is this? Am I dead? Is this the afterlife? Are you some sort of narcissistic Virgil leading me to judgment?
  Mirror Stamets: Yes, Paul. You've been wrong about everything. There is a God, and she's very, very mad at you right now. (starts cracking up) I totally had you for a second there! You can't deny it! (laughing) You should've seen your face. I mean, our face. Hoo! That was classic.

"What's Past Is Prologue"

• Some Black Comedy:
  • Lorca declares that Mirror!Stamets is now less useful than he is dangerous to keep around, and states that he's going to throw Stamets into the Mycelial Core, which he feels to be a fittingly poetic death. Then he promptly declares that he hates poetry, and has Stamets shot instead.
    Lorca: Just kidding, I hate poetry.
  • The fact that the Emperor has a trapdoor in her throne room just to throw people into the ship's energy core. Which, naturally, gets used within a few scenes of being introduced, just for the obligatory establishing of its existence.
  • Mirror!Landry's last words: An audibly nervous question about whether the core's containment field is up or not. Note: Her hand is resting on the containment field's control panel.
• Mirror!Stamets' brutally honest response to seeing Lorca again.
  Gabriel. I really hoped you were dead.
  • Before that, Lorca is doing a big speech on how he survived death by being sent to another universe.
  Stamets: Frankly, I'm still stuck on the "not dead" part.

"The War Without, The War Within"

• After learning about Lorca being replaced by his MU counterpart, Admiral Cornwell is so angry she disintegrates his bowl of fortune cookies with her phaser. The following camera cut shows Michael, Saru, Stamets, and Sarek sitting around the table the bowl of cookies had been in the center of, with Burnham's wordless look saying volumes about the gesture.
• Sarek and Mirror!Georgiou engage in Snark-to-Snark Combat over Burnham, essentially arguing over which was the better parent to their respective versions of Michael. Sarek claims victory by pointing out his version of Burnham saw through Lorca. This whole argument is funnier when you recall that Sarek's defining trait on this show is that he's a terrible parent, making this victory of his amusingly petty.

"Will You Take My Hand"

• Tilly finally gets to meet her idol. Only it's the wrong one. Tilly's reaction to being in front of Mirror!Georgiou is to awkwardly do the Terran salute.
  Burnham: Don't do that.
  • Georgiou then proceeds to mock Tilly's ginger curls. For the subsequent away mission, her hair is straightened out. One might wonder if this is only for a better crook disguise.
• Drunk Tilly was funny. Stoned Tilly is hysterical.
  • After passing out from the first hit and waking up to the Orion trying to steal her case, she just scolds him like a child.
    • When she gets mad, he points out she was asleep and he's an Orion. She concedes the point.
  • When she realizes she's carrying a bomb, she calls Burnham and immediately admits to being high before explaining the problem.
• There's a drunken Klingon taking a leak in an alleyway, and there are two streams. Hilariously enough, this is a case of Shown Their Work!
• Tyler spots some Klingons playing a game which appears to be a cross between craps and shuffleboard, and evidently entails a lot of trash talk. He joins in and seems to do rather well, with his trash talk including, among other things, shouting the word "OWNED!" while bodily crashing into one of the Klingons.
  • After he finishes up, he mentions that the Klingons didn't respond to him with hostility because of the novelty of meeting a human who could speak Klingon. Tyler describes it as being akin to seeing "a dog on water skis."

Short Treks Season One

"The Runaway"

• Tilly orders a quadruple-espresso with milk alternative (which comes out as a single shot, meaning it's quadruple-intensity, not quadruple-servings). The replicator warns her against her order:
  Replicator: Ill-advised. That amount of caffeine is not-
  Tilly: Is my best friend. So shush.
• Of all the things to happen after a *Drool* Hello, probably the last thing that you'd expect is for all of the replicators in the galley to go ballistic, bombarding the hapless Tilly with a barrage of food. With the replicators helpfully describing each meal item as it is sent flying across the room. The replicators seem to be particularly excited to announce "French fries!"
• During a tense standoff with the Runaway, the alien is distracted by her discovery of ice cream.
  Tilly: [sotto voice] And how did you subdue the alien presence, Ensign Tilly?
• After the second or third time that the Runaway bristles at Tilly's approach, Tilly responds in kind by hissing back at her, thus beginning their Snark-to-Snark Combat.
• Tilly explains away the mess in the galley without revealing the Runaway's presence by claiming that it was caused by a "hormonal space-rabbit." One with mood-swings.

"Calypso"

• We see Craft, unconscious and drifting in an escape pod playing Betty Boop cartoons. Zora later notes that he had watched the same video over eight hundred times. Craft explains that he couldn't figure out how to turn it off.
• There's a short bit where Zora introduces Craft to various 23rd century human cuisine. For Taco Tuesday, Zora explains to Craft what a Taco is. Craft's next question is to ask what a Tuesday is.
• When Craft and Zora are watching Funny Face, Craft munches popcorn from a Starfleet-branded popcorn tub.

"The Escape Artist"

• The opening credits set the tone, as the standard intro gets interrupted by a burst of video distortion before the title card displays, with the theme music replaced by a disco remix.
• Mudd insists that he's an innocent man, that he's never even been in such a situation before. A Flashback Cut shows him in a very similar situation, with identical introductory dialogue, just before a Klingon kicks him in the face to shut him up.
  Mudd: Nonono, not the face!
  • Also: The flashback is cued with Mudd abruptly staring off into the middle distance as the camera does an exaggerated Dissolve. After the flashback, Mudd admits that he may have been in a similar situation once.
• Another flashback shows Mudd trying to talk his way out of a similar situation with an Orion man, who is rather taken in by Mudd's fast-talk, before an Orion woman storms in and reminds her partner that the cell has a (very obvious, with a helpful bright red "recording" light) security camera letting her see the whole conversation. Mudd tries sweet-talking her, only to get tased.
• A couple of times, Kritt seems taken in by Mudd's lies, only to laugh in his face. At one point, Kritt asks if anyone has ever fallen for his claims.
• The Reveal that Mudd has been posing as a masked female bounty hunter, selling android duplicates of himself to various dupes who try to cash in the bounty with various Starfleet crews who have obviously become quite familiar with the routine. One ship, the USS De Milo, is shown to have a storage room full of Mudd-droids, and the officer who receives Kritt is not thrilled at having to deal with another one. The droids then break out into a rousing chorus of "If I had any money, I'd be sipping jippers on a beach somewhere!" Either the androids are so poorly-programmed that they'll readily blow their cover with the right prompting, or Mudd deliberately programmed them, when their cover was already blown, to break out in a low-key musical number just to twist the knife that extra bit. Either way, perfectly in character and ridiculously funny.

Season 2

"Brother"

• Tilly being her usual self...in front of Captain Pike during his palm-print DNA scan to take command of Discovery. Who, surprisingly, takes all of Tilly's weirdness in stride.
  Tilly: Um, I'm-I'm Ensign Silvia Tilly. I'm-I'm Discovery's newest addition to Starfleet's Command Training Program.
  Pike: Hi.
  Tilly: Yeah, you have really beautiful nail beds.
  Pike: Thank you.
  Tilly: You're welcome. Oh, I know what's wrong. Uh, your pinkie is, um... It's just really weird to say "pinkie" to a captain. It's not a very authoritative finger, but, um, you know, it's not on the right pad. Do— can I? [grips Pike's pinkie and starts moving it]
  Pike: [gasps in pain] Kidding.
  Tilly: Oh, my God, I thought I broke a captain.
  • The Facial Dialogue of the rest of Discovery's bridge crew during this is priceless. Burnham gives Pike a look that says "Sorry about this", Rhys visibly struggles to keep from laughing out loud, and Saru shakes his head in annoyance.
  • And then Tilly mistakenly puts Pike's file up on the viewscreen. Pike takes it in stride, even pointing out his failing grade in Astrophysics at Starfleet Academy.
• Pike issues orders to his new bridge crew as they prepare to investigate the mysterious signal.
  Pike: Rhys, charge phaser cannons. Bryce, start transmitting standard Federation greeting. Owosekun, Saru, Connelly, Burnham, scan what you can. Detmer...fly...good.
• And then they drop out of warp into an Asteroid Thicket, with no sign of the red burst they were chasing.
  Pike: I was expecting a red thing. Where's my damn red thing?
• Pike tells Nhan to "get your Red Shirt into a spacesuit." Her life expectancy just dropped precipitously, didn't it, especially since the scene is more or less an homage to the "orbital skydive" in Star Trek (2009), which killed a Red Shirt just to prove they would. Nope, it's the arrogant Blue Shirt who doesn't make it.
• While the landing party is attempting to navigate to a crashed ship on an asteroid surrounded by a ridiculously dangerous debris field that's about to crash into a pulsar, Detmer discovers that the material surrounding them is subject to spontaneously exploding. Saru has his danger-sensing ganglia suddenly emerge when that's announced. When he sees a crewmember staring at him...
  Saru: Really? Are you surprised?
• Pike is in mortal danger, and Burnham tries to reassure him:
  Burnham: Trust us, Discovery has you. Right, ladies?
  Detmer: [nervous] Oh, yeah!
  Owosekun: [frightened] Absolutely!
• Burnham informs Commander Jet Reno of their current situation:
  Burnham: We're on a collision course with a pulsar.
  Reno: Oh, what a relief. I thought you said we were all gonna die.
• Reno is what happens when a Starfleet engineer internalizes the reputation that Starfleet engineers have. When asked how she kept her patients alive despite being an engineer rather than a doctor:
  Reno: Body's just a machine. And I read.
• Reno learns that the Klingon War ended while she was shipwrecked.
  Reno: [Beat] No one's speaking Klingon so... we won?
  Burnham: There was an armistice. We're at peace.
  Reno: An armistice with the guys who drink blood wine?!
• An Uncomfortable Elevator Moment where Connelly gets sneezed on by Linus, a Saurian, with a cold.
  • Pike's hilariously awkward "Bless you" to Linus.
• Tilly, as part of her command training, is put in charge of reallocating Discovery's resources, and gives Stamets a new lab by moving someone else into an utility closet.
  Tilly: I'm drunk on power.
• Stamets intends to transfer to Vulcan, but he has one last piece of advice for Tilly: "Talk less."
• Pike asks for everyone on the bridge to introduce themselves, no ranks. But try telling that to "Lieutenant Commander Airiam," apparently.
  • Saru also fumbles a bit when dropping ranks means he only has the one name to offer, no surname.
• The gravity simulator initially appears to be a heavy disk the size of a manhole cover, requiring two crewman to carry and position. Then as soon as they activate it, everyone scrambles out of the way as it unfolds into a massive apparatus the size of a small shuttle, like something out of The Jetsons.

"New Eden"

• Tilly talks to the sample of the dark matter rock she has collected, and it abruptly releases a shock wave that sends her flying into a stack of crates.
• Tilly's observation of the dark matter's disproportionate weight, noting not only that a very small rock crushed a table, but that it was awesome to see it do that.
• Tilly has her own version of "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again."
  Tilly: If X doesn't work, try Y. If Y doesn't work, try Z. If Z doesn't work, try drowning your ineptitude in a Risan mai-tai!
• May, a crewmate who has attached herself to Tilly, is possibly even more spazzy than Tilly (of course, she might be a figment of Tilly's imagination, considering that May has been dead for some time already).
• Tilly's method of getting Detmer on board with her plan:
  Detmer: For the asteroid to exit at the correct angle, I'd have to execute a sustained circular drift.
  Tilly: A donut. You'd be doing a donut in a starship!
  Detmer: That's true. [begins grinning like a maniac]
• Pike, recovering from a phaser wound to the ribs, warns Burnham not to make him laugh.
  Burnham: Fortunately for you, I was raised on Vulcan. We don't do funny.
  [Pike chuckles, then winces in pain]
  Burnham: Maybe I should just shut up.
• Saru catches Pike up on how the spore drive works, allowing Pike to lampshade how bizarre the whole concept sounds.
  Saru: Questions or concerns before we depart, Captain?
  Pike: If you're telling me that this ship can skip across the universe on a highway made of mushrooms, I kinda have to go on faith.
  • Especially since it comes off as a bit of Self-Deprecation in response to the... complicated reception of Discovery's fundamental premise, the Spore Drive.
  • And after Pike's astonished reaction to the jump itself, Saru says "You never forget your first, sir."

"Point of Light"

• When Tilly is shadowing Pike as part of her command training, what does Pike suggest they do?
  "How about we marry some folks, even if they're not that into each other?"
• Ex-Terran Emperor Georgiou—a ruthless, xenophobic, cold-blooded killer—starts making goo-goo faces at Tyler and L'Rell's Klingon infant son.
• Georgiou suggests L'Rell find a wet-nurse, otherwise she won't have the time to get anything done. L'Rell takes it under advisement.
• The Reveal that when May talks about Discovery's Captain, she's not referring to Lorca, as Tilly previously thought, but rather Stamets, because he's the one who interacts with the spores to make the ship jump from place to place.
• Stamets shows a giddy cheerfulness on discovering Tilly has an extra-dimensional fungal parasite.
  • On that note, he evidently needs some sensitivity training. He manages to repeatedly insult May by referring to her as a fungus and by comparing her to bacteria. The already-frantic May is beside herself over the remarks. Not to mention her yelling at him as if he could hear her anyways.
• Stamets does not have a reassuring bedside manner.
  Stamets: This might hurt a bit. [It hurts a lot]
• Burnham cracks a joke about why she's so sure there's no teenage girl who'd never cried.
  Burnham: I know. I'm a xenoanthropologist.
• Amanda casually informs Burnham that, under the circumstances, she did the only logical thing: She stole Spock's classified medical records so Burnham could help her break into them. Burnham's only response is to stare off into the middle distance, processing what her adoptive mother just announced. You can just see her choking back "Mother, you and I have very different definitions of what 'the logical thing' means."
• Burnham is pleading with Pike to decrypt Spock's records. Pike jokingly asks Amanda if Burnham had always been this bossy. Amanda icily replies that, on Vulcan, it's referred to as being persistent. And that Burnham learned it from her. Cue an uncomfortable silence from Pike.
• Pike then tries to get information about Spock from a friend of his, only to learn that the case has been complicated by Spock's records being stolen. Cue nervous looks from both Burnham and Amanda.

"An Obol for Charon"

• Linus expresses sympathy for Saru.
  Linus: I had a cold last week. It sucked.
  [Beat as others look at Linus]
  Linus: [points at nose] Saurian. Six nasal canals?
• The Universal Translator goes haywire, causing everyone to start talking in random languages, while their consoles similarly switch to random assorted languages. Of note is Detmer pointing at her own mouth and asking "is this Arabic?" In Andorian.
  • Also note: Captain Pike is speaking French.
  • Bryce figures out what's going on and mimes "BOOM!".
  • Saru arrives on the bridge, and Pike dryly welcomes him to the Tower of Babel. In Hebrew.
  • Burnham explains to Saru, the resident Cunning Linguist, about the Universal Translator. His reply:
    Saru: I have eyes and ears, Burnham.
  • And then finally, this bit after Saru gets everyone speaking Federation Standard again:
    Saru: Am I the only one who bothered to learn a foreign language?
• Reno is hilarious throughout:
  • Her Volleying Insults with Stamets provide more "spore drive" humor when she grumbles about Discovery jumping through space on mushrooms like the ones she picks off her pizza.
  • When Brunham realizes that the Sphere is trying to communicate:
    Reno: Well, damn, woman. Go!

"Saints of Imperfection"

• Tilly practically goes into convulsions and finally gives a Cathartic Scream when May earnestly asks for her help. You know, after having driven Tilly to a nervous breakdown and abducted her into another dimension.
• After all is said and done, Cornwell, having noted that Pike and Leland are hardly friends anymore, demands that they "cut the manlier-than-thou bullshit" before calling out Leland for playing cloak-and-dagger around Pike when he needed help.
  • Pike starts to grin while watching Leland get dressed down, before he realizes that he's next in line, quickly dropping the grin as the Admiral gets on him for looking down his nose at Leland's clandestine mission.
• Pike presumes that, given that Discovery's cooperation with Section 31 will be running a bit longer, that Tyler's assignment as liaison to Pike is now permanent.
  Leland: Unless you'd prefer Captain Georgiou...
  Pike: No, thank you.
  Cornwell: Nope.

"The Sounds of Thunder"

• Tilly and Airiam have been assigned to go through the massive database Discovery was given by the Sphere. Burnham asks to Tilly to look for any information there might be on Kaminar in the Sphere's archive.
  Tilly: That's what Airiam and I are here for. We will find it.
  Airiam: There it is.
  Tilly: When I said "we", I just meant Airiam.

"Light and Shadows"

• Georgiou has Burnham hit her to make Burnham's escape look good. Burnham does so... but doesn't wait for the cameras to reset. Gasping for air, Georgiou admits that it wasn't bad, but that Burnham should try again with some feeling.
• Later on, Georgiou gets her back by just barely missing Burnham with a phaser. Burnham's indignant look is met with a smile and a shrug before Georgiou resumes the act.

"If Memory Serves"

• After Burnham wakes up from seeing Spock's memories, Burnham asks what the Red Angel is, to which Spock replies that if he knew, they wouldn't be on Talos IV. The two begin bickering about the Rhetorical Question Blunder, and when Spock asks if Burnham has a question she's never asked, Burnham does pose one: "Do you actually think the beard is working?" Spock then pauses and rubs his hand over his face. Apparently, his Sanity Slippage was so much that he didn't even realize he had the beard.
• The Talosians, Burnham, and Spock troll Leland just before the illusionary Spock and Burnham disappear.
  Burnham: Say goodbye, Spock.
  Spock: [gives Vulcan salute to Leland] Goodbye, Spock. [Spock and Burnham vanish]

"Project Daedalus"

• Nhan is beginning to suspect that something is wrong with Airiam. During a discussion between the two of them, Airiam casually asks if the implants on Nhan's face allow her race to breath in an atmosphere designed for humans, which Nhan uncomfortably confirms. It's a very tense situation, but very prone to Black Comedy given that Nhan was introduced wearing a red uniform. During the episode's climax, Control!Airiam does indeed try to kill Nhan by ripping her implants off, but it is Airiam who dies at Nhan's hands in the end, after Nhan narrowly survives.
• During the fight between Control!Airiam and Burnham, Michael finds herself overwhelmed in the fight against her cyborg crewmate. At one point, Burnham resorts to attempting a drop-kick against her opponent, which mostly results in Burnham bouncing off of Airiam and falling gracelessly on her back.

"The Red Angel"

• When discussing the Red Angel's patterns, Spock snarks that it fits with Burnham's Chronic Hero Syndrome, Survivor Guilt, and It's All My Fault tendencies.
  Pike: We’re saying that Michael, our-our Michael Burnham, is going to wake up one day, access time-travel technology that doesn’t exist yet, and take it upon herself to save the galaxy.
  Spock: That supposition fits her emotional profile rather precisely, particularly her drive to take responsibility for situations often beyond her control.
  Burnham: [annoyed deadpan] Thank you for sharing that with the group, Spock.
  • When Burnham asks why the Red Angel (possibly her future self) didin't simply tell them upfront about the coming galactic apocalypse, Spock suggests that it's her "penchant for dramatics". All Michael can do is give a very subdued but annoyed "Okay."
    Burnham: Let’s assume for a moment I am the Red Angel. If I knew about an apocalypse, why wouldn’t I say so?
    Spock: Perhaps you simply have a penchant for the dramatic.
    Burnham: Okay.
  • Spock leaving both the audience and his fellow Starfleet officers (including an Admiral!) in stitches at what is clearly not simply Vulcan bluntness: it's a little brother tweaking his big sister's nose in front of all her friends...
• Spock finds Burnham working out her aggression by kickboxing against a sparring dummy. He observes that Leland probably appreciates her decision to practice against "high-density urethane foam in lieu of his nasal cartilage".
  • Spock also expresses regret that he wasn't there to see Leland get punched in the face.
    Spock: I believe I would have found the moment... satisfying.
• Georgiou continues her pastime of making the uptight Starfleet officers uncomfortable:
  • In response to a string of Techno Babble from Stamets, she gives him an intense look and remarks that he's smarter than Mirror Stamets was, but also more neurotic, before asking if he's considered medication. After an uncomfortable Beat, Stamets decides the only possible response is to throw out more Techno Babble as if nothing had happened.
  • Culber walks in, dressed sharp and claiming to be looking for Cornwell. Tilly's response is interrupted by Georgiou, who chides her for attempting to defuse the "male tension" rather than relishing a little discomfort. Also, she seems to have nicknamed Tilly "Red."
  • Also, Georgiou has joined the long list of characters who feel the need to stop Tilly from rambling. Even Georgiou's ability to enjoy public discomfort has limits, probably because she wanted to get back to trolling Stamets and Culber.
  • When Georgiou encourages Stamets to continue with his Techno Babble, calling him "Paul," he continues talking his way through the engineering problem at hand, while she stands very close to him and makes a show of Eating the Eye Candy. Finally, she compliments him, saying he is much savvier than Mirror Stamets was. Cue an incredulous Culber, still standing at the door:
    Culber: Uhm... you... you do know he's gay, right?
    Georgiou: Don't be so binary. In my universe, he was pansexual, and we had DEFCON-level fun together. You too, Papi.
    Culber: Did you just call me "Papi?"
  • Stamets interjects, assuring Georgiou that in this and in any other universe, he's definitely gay. She freely agrees, pleased that everyone can see what is plainly obvious, before leaving the room in an uncomfortable silence.
    Tilly: What just happened?!

"Perpetual Infinity"

• How does Georgiou figure out that Leland has been compromised? Because he has abruptly stopped acting like a spineless idiot.
• Spock likes science.

"Through the Valley of Shadows"

• L'Rell meets with Tyler and Pike to discuss the Federation's need for time crystals from Boreth, a Klingon world. After the initial problem of convincing the Chancellor to allow Starfleet to get their hands on such potentially dangerous material, L'Rell moves on to arguing with Tyler about letting him go down to the planet for the crystals, which is actually an argument about putting their son at risk. As the argument escalates and switches into Klingon, Pike is left momentarily gobsmacked as he watches the two scream at each other before interrupting and announcing that he'll go instead.
• Burnham comes up with a plan for her to go after Leland by herself, to avoid putting Discovery at risk. Saru immediately approves the mission. Burnham, clearly having prepared for a lengthy argument to convince Saru of the mission's necessity, is left to respond with a Beat and a "Huh."
• Spock explains that he was ordered by Saru to accompany Burnham on her mission, and casually refutes her attempts to dissuade him. She's left to let out a frustrated snarl.
• Having noted the tension between Stamets and Culber, to the point that it's clearly distracting Stamets, Reno makes the decision to speak to Culber and prod him to talk to Stamets and clear the air... by barging into Sickbay, loudly declaring a medical emergency: She has a hangnail.
• With the franchise being perhaps THE standout example of making up technobabble in the name of allowing them to do effectively whatever the plot needs them to, there's something rather humorous in the key sci-fi creation of this episode that allows the crew to do what they need being referred to as "time crystals." Fridge Brilliance kicks in when you remember, these are something discovered on a Klingon world, by Klingons, who are DEFINITELY prone to being direct in their naming of things they discover.

"Such Sweet Sorrow"

• Tilly is quite excited to learn that their mission is taking them to Xahea. When asked what she knows about Xahea, Tilly replies "The Queen." Remembering that nobody actually knows that Po was aboard Discovery due to Tilly not reporting her, everyone is left clueless as to how and when Tilly would have met her, or why they'd never heard about it until now.
  • Tilly keeps letting slip details of Po's previous visit, to include stowing away in a cargo pallet. Further, Po mentions that Burnham is taller than she looks in her photos. Burnham stares off into the distance trying to figure out when Po could have seen a photo of her.
• The moment when Po beams aboard. Pike greets Her Serene Highness with the gravitas accorded to a planetary ruler, only for Po to break the moment by squeeing at Tilly, and the two girls hug like teenage BFFs.
  Pike: Your Serene Highness, Me Hani—
  Po: Tilly!
  (Po and Tilly run up and embrace each other as Pike watches with an "Okay, then" look)
• In her universe, Georgiou was The Dreaded Terran Emperor who could have people killed at a whim. In this universe, she's a nobody that Po doesn't have to take sass from. Because Po is a Queen, and invoked a law to that effect. She punctuates her point by handing Georgiou her empty ice cream bowl as if Georgiou's job on the ship is to wash the dishes. The Terran is left speechless.
• Georgiou joins the growing list of Burnham's acquaintances who call her out for her habit of making every problem her exclusive problem to deal with. And warns her that Georgiou isn't the only person willing to exploit that. Burnham responds by acknowledging her "gaping character flaws" in the most sarcastic manner possible.

"Such Sweet Sorrow, Part 2"

• Reno gives Burnham a time estimate. Burnham asks her if she can cut that estimate in half. Reno bluntly replies that no, she can't.
• Leland hails Discovery to demand they surrender the Sphere data to him. Georgiou informs him that they were just talking about him, and that everybody hates him.
  Georgiou: Congratulations.
• Multiple of the exchanges between Georgiou and Nhan, such as:
  Georgiou: Leland, you look well.
  Nhan: For a couple batteries and data core stuffed in a meat sack.
  Georgiou: Kind of like an AI sausage.
  Nhan: Ew.
  Control: Women! Stop talking!
• When Saru tells Reno to hurry up with the time crystal, she snaps back "Get off my ass." Then realizes she just said that to the CAPTAIN. So she tries to fix it by saying "Sir! Get off my ass, sir!" as the turbolift closes, while Tilly gapes like a codfish.
• Doctor Pollard, Discovery's Chief Medical Officer, is on the communicator with Saru, stating that they're overwhelmed with casualties and asking if there's anyone, anyone at all, who can come to Sickbay and lend a hand. Saru replies that all personnel are already occupied, so the good doctor simply has to do her best.
  Pollard: [annoyedly flipping her communicator closed] No, I'm gonna do a half-assed job, because now's the perfect time.
• After the Klingons enter the battle, L'Rell's ship is hit and she grunts in pain as she is thrown backward. Tyler goes to check on her when she starts laughing. With a nice gash on her forehead, she states that she thought that her reign as Chancellor would be a "bloodless" one.
• Saru's sister Siranna is among The Cavalry, turning up in a Ba'ul starfighter. Saru has a bit of a hard time processing this last detail.
  Saru: You... have learned to pilot a fighter...
• Tilly tells Saru that she can re-energize the shields, but she has to close her eyes to do it as the last time she did work like that she was blindfolded for a bar bet. Then when she completes the repairs she states, "Someone owes me a beer."
• The first thing Po does after revealing to Pike that she's in the middle of the battle flying a shuttle is to claim diplomatic immunity for stealing it.
• During the denouement, all of the Starfleet characters are being interrogated, and they are instructed to give their name and rank. Number One, naturally replies:
  Number One: Number One. How long is this gonna take?
• The officer debriefing Tyler notes that, after everything that's happened, Section 31 will likely be reorganized to operate more transparently from now on. Anyone who's seen Star Trek: Deep Space Nine knows that's not exactly how things turned out...

Short Treks Season Two

"Q&A"

• Number One notes that Ensign Spock has been aboard for over half a minute and failed to ask a single question. A poor first impression for a Science Officer. She insists that he barrage everyone that he meets with questions until it becomes a nuisance. And then the turbolift that they are sharing gets stuck.
  • Spock, at Number One's insistence, throws every question that he can think of at her, down to what matrix is used by the replicators. When he finally runs dry on relevant questions to ask, he asks her if she likes eggplant.
• The episode manages to pack an impressive degree of Ship Tease into a single Uncomfortable Elevator Moment. Number One orders Spock to give her a boost so she can reach an access panel. Spock is about to grab her by the waist before she stops him and orders him to get down on his knees instead so she can ride on his shoulders. It's all in the command tone that she uses.
• Number One showing her Hidden Depths by belting out the Modern Major General song. And Spock joins in.

"The Trouble With Edward"

• The trailer presents a classic sci-fi horror scenario: A ship's crew studying a strange new alien, only to find themselves frantically fighting off an outbreak as the rapidly reproducing creatures break out of containment. They're tribbles.
• Also of note is Larkin pointing out that, because tribbles move so slowly, they'd be easy to hunt.
  • In context, Larkin is suggesting the tribbles as a solution to a planet's food crisis. The only problem is, they don't breed very quickly, though they could fix that with some genetic enhancement.
• Larkin responds to questions about tribble intelligence by suggesting that he can make them all brain-damaged.
• Larkin eagerly waiting for one of the crew to unknowingly eat tribble meat, and then being confused at the horrified reaction.
• As the tribbles begin to overrun the ship, one crew member can be seen in the background with a giant backpack vacuum sucking up tribbles one-by-one.
• Facing a Board of Inquiry for losing her ship, being the center of a biological disaster that required evacuating a planet, and causing an incident with the Klingons, Admiral Quinn, in obvious disbelief, asks Lucero how this all could have been the fault of just one man.
  Lucero: He was an idiot.
  • What really sells this is that the crux of the issue between Edward and Lucero (and thus the impetus for the tribbles getting out of control) is that each thinks that the other is bad at their job, or dumb. Edward complained to Lucero's superiors that she's a bad captain and "dumb" for moving him from protein studies to climatology, and then insists that she thinks he's dumb because of that reassignment and because she decides to transfer this malcontent off her ship. Before Edward's death, she insists that she doesn't think he's dumb (and indeed, she never said that) while trying to convince him to escape from the avalanche of tribbles about to crush him to death.
• The episode ends with a Parody Commercial for what is basically a never-ending cereal box full of tribbles, sold as food for kids. An on-screen disclaimer warns that the company selling the tribbles isn't responsible if the tribbles begin reproducing in the digestive tract.
  • The commercial itself is stylized after 90s-style commercials, complete with 4:3 aspect ratio and VHS tracking lines with distorted audio.

Season 3

That Hope Is You, Part One

• Burnham, while under the effects of truth serum, becomes bubbly, giggly and rapidly changes topics, essentially the exact opposite of her normal characterization.
  Burnham: Oh! I have a friend with red hair, you cannot give her any.
  • It's even better - apparently, the truth serum isn't supposed to work like this. Her Orion interrogator chews out his Andorian friend about it.
    Orion Interrogator Did you adjust the dosage again?! I've told you so many times not to do that!
  • Upon spilling her guts and explaining what happened last season...
    Burnham: I saved ALL THE THINGS.
  • Later, when asked what cargo Book was transporting:
    Burnham: I don't know, but it was temperature-sensitive and very valuable. So it was probably ice cream.
• Book's response to his cat being threatened?
  Book: She's a queen!
• During a pitched gunfight, Burnham apologizes to Book for breaking his nose earlier. Book asks her if she's only apologizing because she thinks she's about to die, and she makes no attempts to deny it.
• Book attempts to lose their pursuers via Teleport Spam, much to Burnham's growing frustration, especially as it doesn't work: every new transport results in them being suddenly surrounded by mooks a few moments later. He comes up with an idea Crazy Enough to Work.
  Book: OK, you're about to be really mad!
  Burnham: [Confused distressed sound before being tackled off of a cliff and transported into a spot some distance beneath the surface of a lake]
• Book's cargo, a large angry Trance Worm, quickly makes lunch out of the surviving pursuers, and then tries to eat Burnham. After some coaxing from Book, the worm spits Burnham out, sending her flying about thirty feet before she lands in a heap, Covered in Gunge.
  Book: Are you okay?
  Burnham: I really... really didn't know how this day was going to turn out.

Far From Home

• Saru and Tilly travel to a nearby settlement to find someone who can repair their ship's transtator. The people they find there are very untrusting, suspecting some sort of trick. Tilly convinces them that she and Saru are Starfleet officers... by quoting regulations at them about officer conduct. Nearly a thousand years into the future and Starfleet still evidently has a reputation for being stuffy.
  • Even better, the regulation she quotes is about how Starfleet officers must comport themselves in a manner befitting Starfleet officers in all situations, "which is why we aren't freaking out being held at phaserpoint by strangers!" (while visibly freaking out, mind you). Then she meekly asks that they either lower their phasers or introduce themselves, "so that one of those things isn't true." Apparently, in Tilly's mind, being held at phaserpoint by an acquaintance is a preferable situation.
• Georgiou wants to go with Tilly and Saru to explore the nearby settlement, but is ordered to assist with repairs. She claims that she's been summoned to go help Stamets and Reno, and when Nhan mentions this to Reno, we get this:
  Reno: And you believed her?
• Stamets wakes from a coma to find the ship in chaos, with wounded crewmembers and damage everywhere. He insists he's fine to go back to work, and Culber agrees, on one condition:
  Culber: Tell you what, I'll let you go back to work if you can spell "My partner brought me out of a coma and all I got was this lousy T-shirt." Spell it.
  Stamets: {pained stare} My brain...
  Culber: Yes, it's scrambled like an egg.
  • One cut later, Stamets is spelling out "l-o-u-s-y t-s-h-i-r-t."
    Culber: "T-shirt" has a hyphen.
  • Not to mention the fact that "And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt" jokes are still a thing in the 23rd century.
• The poor guy who got stuck cleaning up what's left of "Leland" in the spore drive control room. Everyone else is trying to get things running, and he's scooping bits of the dead guy up with a shovel.
  Reno: So, unless Hazmat over here is gonna be helping after he cleans up aisle five…
  "Hazmat": M-my name's Gene, actually.
  Reno: I've already forgotten that.
  • It gets better - he ends up credited as "Ensign Hazmat"!
  • And "Cleanup on aisle X" jokes are also still a thing in the future.
• Stamets and Reno team up to perform repairs. Or rather, Stamets is going to perform repairs, while Reno is going to follow him around and annoy him if he's not going to have the good sense to stay in bed while seriously wounded. Once Stamets inevitably ends up hurting himself again while crawling around in a Jefferies Tube, Reno summons Culber so he can come berate Stamets further.
  Culber: Listen, everything's going to be alright. We're going to focus on one moment at a time, okay? And we're going to do all of this slowly and carefully, because I need you out of there alive so I can kill you.
  • It's Culber's forced cheerful tone that takes his arguments with Stamets from drama to comedy. He's furious and Stamets knows it.
• Zareh and Georgiou face off.
  Zare: A one-woman tactical response team. V'draysh has officially reached its nadir.
  Georgiou: A fancy vocabulary doesn't mean you're scary. It means you have a thesaurus.
• During this tense scene, Reno is sitting on a toolbox because she hurt her back at the beginning of the episode and unlike Stamets, knows her limits.
• Reno calls Stamets "bobcat" during another round of Snark-to-Snark Combat, and when questioned about it, simply says "I don't know, I'm on drugs."
  Stamets: Hugh, thanks. Jett, thanks for nothing.
  Reno: Back at you, Bobcat.
  Culber: "Bobcat"?
  Reno: I don't know, I'm on drugs.

"People of Earth"

• Book beams aboard Discovery and is greeted by Georgiou, who he identifies immediately when she reacts with disdain when he mentions two of Burnham's fellow Starfleet officers.
  • When Book asks where Burnham is, Georgiou asks if he means his girlfriend.
    Book: (too quickly) She's not my girlfriend.
    Georgiou: (dubious look)
    Book: No, really. She's not- we didn't have- Nope. Nope. We're not talking about this. Answer my question.
• Burnham returning to the ship with a very attractive male companion does not go unnoticed by Owosekun and Detmer, who share a silent look of acknowledgement, complete with a Fascinating Eyebrow from Detmer.
• Book's reaction to his first spore-jump.
  Book: Oh, shit! (to Burnham) Hey, you didn't tell me about the spinning part!
• When the ship is boarded, Burnham decides that they would better blend in if both she and Book were in Starfleet uniforms. Book insists this is all a ploy for her to see how he looks in the uniform.
  • When all is said and done, Burnham states the uniform suits Book. Book states that the uniform gave him a rash.
  • Georgiou also decides to wear a Starfleet uniform but has decided to promote herself to Admiral to "make it believable". Even more funny if one considers that Starfleet is the Trope Codifier for Insane Admiral — a role that fits her perfectly.
• A particularly young inspector immediately starts demanding explanations for the various unusual pieces of equipment in Stamets' lab (in fact, the Spore Drive), and trying to figure out what it all is for. Tilly quickly takes a dislike to them.
  Adira: This "science vessel" is practically a museum.
  Tilly: Yeah, well museums are cool, so...
  Adira: That's exactly what someone who lives in a museum would say.
  Tilly: I don't live in a museum.
  • It escalates further when Tilly, the resident genius kid, realizes that Adira is a Teen Genius, and begins to act as if her turf is being threatened.
    Tilly: Okay, we get it, you're smart, everybody here is smart!
  • To cap it all off, the other inspector intercedes, reminding Adira that they're not there to start a fight. Evidently he was just as annoyed by Adira's interrogation as the crew was.

"Forget Me Not"

• Saru is trying to ask the ship's computer for suggestions as to how he can manage the crew's stress levels, which have gone through the roof since their trip to the future. The computer goes quiet for a moment...
  Saru: Computer?
  Computer: (giggles lightly) Hello!
  Saru: (sounding dumbfounded) Hel-loooo?...
  • Before this, some of the computer's less-than-ideal suggestions include yoga and reducing their dairy intake. And coloring books. Those are still a thing in the future.
• After foiling Vos's attempted ambush, Burnham holds him at gunpoint.
  Burnham: Where are the caves?
  Vos: Never.
  Burnham: Fine. [shoots him]
  Adira: Um, that... That wasn't Federation protocol.
  Burnham: No, it wasn't. They'll be fine.
• Culber's attempt at a Haiku during the crew's dinner. Emphasis on "attempt".
  Culber: Emperor Georgiou / Feasting on the finest cuts / Snarfs cookies on the down-low — I screwed up the last line.
• After dinner goes south, Georgiou says that at least the wine was good... and takes the whole bottle with her as she leaves.
• When the crew is gathered in the shuttle bay to watch a Buster Keaton movie, Linus offers Georgiou a tub of popcorn. After momentarily turning her nose up at the idea, she grabs the popcorn and starts gnoshing on it.

"Die Trying"

• Saru and Burnham are being debriefed by Admiral Vance, a medical hologram with No Sense of Personal Space paces around and leans in closely to examine them. At one point Burnham leans away while eyeing him warily. And then when noticing how active Burnham's limbic system is, asks her if she's prone to emotional exaggeration.
• We see a Call-Back to the Enterprise crew debrief gag from "Such Sweet Sorrow," this time with Discovery's officers being debriefed in the future.
  • When asked if he was clinically dead, Culber notes that he was also emotionally dead. Being murdered will do that to you.
    Culber: But my murderer and I are good now.
  • While being debriefed, Reno is her usual Deadpan Snarker self.
    Interrogator: So, you were on an asteroid, and...?
    Reno: Commander Burnham fell out of the sky. With Captain Pike. It was raining Starfleet officers. Did you bring any snacks? I'm—I'm starving.
  • Stamets is asked if he considers himself "essential personnel."
    Stamets Have you been talking to Detmer? Because I can't seem to get away from this question.
  • We cut back to Reno, who has in fact been given a plate of chips and dip, and is now asking about beverage options.
  • Tilly is shown talking about the time she had to get her hair restyled for her disguise as a Terran Captain-slash-Dominatrix. Then she sarcastically demands that they ask her if any of this was in the Handbook, seemingly to set up for a pun transition:
    Interrogator: Was any of this in the handbook?
    Tilly: No.
    Nhan: Nhan.
  • Also, for some reason, Nhan has decided this is the time to develop a sense of humor, and is stubbornly refusing to give anything but her name, duty position, and serial number, with a puckish grin on her face because she evidently enjoys giving the holograms a hard time.
• Georgiou is asked what her relationship with Control was. Georgiou claims they dated.
• Lieutenant Willa goes on her first spore-jump. She tries to look nonchalant about it and fails.

"Scavengers"

• Linus is having a hard time getting the hang of the personal transporter built into his new badge. This results in a Running Gag of him popping in and out of rooms and interrupting other folks' conversations.
  • The first time this happens, he ends up in the captain's chair for a few seconds.
    Linus: Whoops, didn't expect to...this isn't the mess hall!... bye!
  • And then it becomes a Moment Killer when he interrupts Burnham and Book about to kiss.
• Discovery is hailed... by Grudge. The crew is left to stare at the viewscreen, perplexed, before Tilly identifies the cat.
• Tilly enters her room to find Grudge on her bed. Assuming this is Burnham's doing, she asks the computer to locate her, only to be told Burnham isn't on board.
  Tilly: Did you eat her?
  • As she puts together that Burnham has taken Book's ship, Grudge climbs over her back and then plants herself under Tilly's bed, ignoring Tilly's protests.
    Tilly: I don't like you.
• Burnham demonstrates the Tracking Device in Grudge's collar to Georgiou. Georgiou snarks that it should be impossible to lose a cat so large she has her own gravitational field.
• Georgiou calls Book "the blob whisperer". When Burnham tells her that trance worms aren't blobs, Georgiou clarifies that she was talking about Grudge.
  • The mere fact that Georgiou, who's from both an alternate universe and over 200 years in our future, can make "the X whisperer" jokes.
• Georgiou submits Tolor to an unceasing torrent of verbal abuse, which she justifies on the basis of him being a bully. Not because she's offended by him being a bully, but because she's found bullies always crumble when faced with bigger bullies.

"Unification III"

• Burnham and Saru are still behind the power curve when it comes to the last 900 years of current events, and are stunned to learn the following:
  • The Romulans now live with the Vulcans.
  • The Romulans are related to the Vulcans.
  • Their homeworld (renamed Ni'Var) decided to leave the Federation.
  • The Romulans wanted to stay in the Federation but got outvoted by the Vulcans.
  • Much of this was directly the result of her little brother Spock's work. Book later jokes that her whole family is a bunch of overachievers.
• Burnham once again gets called out for her martyr complex in the middle of an important meeting. Burnham once again loses all sense of military bearing and reacts with a surprisingly-loud silent look of betrayal.
• Burnham talks with Book about how they do or don't fit in with Starfleet. Book points out that he is basically living in the Discovery's shuttlebay, and notes that none of the Starfleet personnel really know what to make of him.
• Tilly needs to talk to Stamets in private, so she drags him into the glass cube that he operates the Spore Drive from. Owo demonstrates why this isn't the best venue for a private meeting when she starts banging on the glass to ask Stamets a question.
• After the heartwarming way that the crew persuade Tilly to accept the post of Acting XO, they immediately bombard her with requests and grievances.

"The Sanctuary"

• During the Snark-to-Snark Combat between Culber and Georgiou, Culber warns Georgiou that her increasing brain dysfunction will lead to her forgetting things like "Where did I bury that last body?"
• Ryn and Lt. Detmer take Book's small ship up against the monstrous Orion Heavy Cruiser Viridian, and only have a chance because Detmer is an excellent pilot and Ryn knows the larger ship's weak points. During the fast, brutal fight, Grudge jumps onto Ryn's lap, and Ryn — who is already on edge and has never seen a cat before — has a small panic attack.
• Saru is trying to settle on that most important aspect of Trek captains: his Catchphrase for giving orders.
  • "Manifest" gets dropped immediately.
  • Tilly suggests trying out Pike's "Hit it", telling Saru to put his own spin on it, only to immediately cringe when he tries it.
  • He tries out "Execute" on the bridge, only for everyone to stare with looks of "That's really what you're going with?" (Even the background music quits on him.)
  • Finally, he tries "Carry on." This earns a non-commital shrug.
• Georgiou changes into a white bodysuit for the medical scan. She quips that it makes her look like a giant sperm, albeit with more formal language.

"Terra Firma, Pt. 1"

• Burnham and Georgiou are wandering across an uninhabited planet, a frigid, icy plain out in the middle of nowhere. Things abruptly take a turn for the surreal when a chubby little man with a cigar and a bowler hat greets them from a very out-of-place park bench nearby, and claims he learned about them from a newspaper reading EMPEROR GEORGIOU DIES HORRIBLY PAINFUL DEATH.
  • The newspaper, it should be noted, is chock-full of references to other Star Trek stories going back to the original series.
  • Carl (the afore-mentioned chubby little man with a cigar and a bowler hat) fancies himself a bit of a Pungeon Master, bombarding Georgiou and Burnham with door puns until Georgiou finally agrees to walk through the door that has appeared next to him.
    "What do you call a cute portal? A-door-able. A clown held a door open for me. It was a nice jester."

"Terra Firma, Pt. 2"

• Mirror Tilly asking Georgiou with a saccharine smile, "Emperor, if I may, why is Michael Burnham still using up oxygen on my ship?" Followed up shortly afterward by her batting her eyelids and looking flattered when Georgiou tells her 'you are the most feared interrogator in the quadrant'.
• When Mirror Burnham is finally released, she's disappointed to learn that the Emperor has removed Kelpien from the menu, because Burnham was craving ganglia in her cell. The Emperor's reasoning for doing so? Kelpiens are too high in cholesterol, and Burnham accepts this as valid. Despotic, xenophobic regime that encourages Klingon Promotion... but at least they're health-conscious.
• After Carl reveals himself as the Guardian of Forever, he lampshades his rather lax standards back in TOS.
  Carl: It used to be "Sure, come on through. Just don't screw up history or you'll have to fix it."

"Su'Kal"

• Burnham and Culber mysteriously being transformed into different species upon beaming down to the shipwreck? Mysterious and unsettling. Saru being transformed into a human? Somehow hilarious, especially given Doug Jones having made his name playing various non-human roles in heavy makeup and costume and now is just... Doug Jones looking mildly freaked out.
• Tilly and Osyraa have a tense back-and-forth, but while Osyraa is being cold and threatening, Tilly is being sassy and using heavily weaponized "No, You" ripostes.
  Osyraa: Found you.
  Tilly: We found each other.
• Burnham finds Su'Kal, and he asks if she is one of the Holos. Burnham rolls with it to keep the converesation going, and takes on a faux-cheerful obliging attitude that any retail worker would recognize on-sight.
• Saru introduces himself and his friends with, "I am Saru. This is Michael and Hugh."

"There Is A Tide..."

• As they prepare to ram into Discovery's shuttlebay, Book goes through a checklist, ending with making sure Grudge is secure. A hologram then pops up of Grudge in a cat bed.
• The bridge crew is being held in the ready room under armed guard, banned from speaking to each other. Rhys and Bryce begin tapping out messages with their fingers, which quickly gets noticed and called out by the Regulators. When they start tapping again, Owo yells at them to stop being childish before they get someone killed, which leads to an escalating argument which distracts the Regulators enough for the crew to take them by surprise and overpower them. Booker asks what message they were tapping out, and Rhys says it was Morse Code for "Keep Tapping."
• Osyraa is snacking off of a plate of fruit, talking about how the replicated stuff doesn't taste as good as the naturally grown fruit the Emerald Chain produces. Vance decides this is the perfect time to mention that the replicated food is made from the crew's shit, broken down to the atomic level and recombined as food. Osyraa visibly spits out the portion she was chewing on, as Vance takes a hearty bite from another piece of fruit.

Season 4

"Kobayshi Maru"

• Burnham and Book try to open diplomatic relations with the "butterfly people", as Book calls them. Things progressively get worse, culminating in them detecting Grudge aboard Book's ship. In trying to explain her presence, both reflexively refer to Grudge as a "queen", which makes the butterfly people hostile because they assume she's a captured monarch^note as in monarch butterfly. After a protracted chase, Burnham and Book beam back into his ship, and Book makes a point of very deliberately petting Grudge in front of them.
  Michael: Why do you even have a pet? Why can't you just have a holographic goldfish.
  Book: Had one. Grudge ate it.
  Michael: Who eats a hologram?!
• The entire opening sequence plays like a Mythology Gag poking fun at the Kelvin Universe films, with a diplomatic mission going wrong due to the suspicious other party misunderstanding the Starfleet captain's attempts to put them at ease, as well as a chase through the woods where they have to jump off of a cliff. Which isn't, as Burnham notes, even the first cliff she's been chased over.
• Dark comedy, but one of Commander Nalas’ human crew calls their situation “a shit show”, which he’s told is “Earth language for bad”.

"Anomaly"

"Choose To Live"

• A minor note: Stamets had planned to take a job at the Vulcan Science Academy. Two seasons and nine hundred years later, he finally visits the Ni'Var Science Institute, and is rather nonplussed with how they work there.
• After the mission is over, Vance gives Burnham a rather long-winded analogy in which he compares people in The Federation to an orchestra that the president conducts, with everyone playing their own essential parts. When Burnham points out how verbose it was, he says, "Well, they pay me by the letter."
• The premise of "Tilly works with the Qowat Milat," given how uniquely suited they are for dealing with her tendency to overshare.
• The Qowat Milat give Tilly a Cool Sword; one swing and it flies out of her hand.
  • Tilly nervously rambles about the mission to a Qowat Milat nun, peppering a few Verbal Backspaces when she realizes her excitement might land poorly when they are hunting one of their fellow Qowat Milat sisters. Once the awkward pause takes hold, the nun casually replies:
  Nun: You worry that I am dismayed at your enthusiasm. I'm not.
• Book is still grieving, but he can at least joke with his girlfriend treating his ship like a car.

"All Is Possible"

• Mixed with Heartwarming: Michael and Tilly reminiscing about their first days as roommates. Tilly terrified of being knifed in her sleep by the notorious mutineer, and Michael having to dampen out Tilly's loud snoring.

"...But to Connect"

• Near the end of the episode, Michael enters her Ready Room and calls out for Zora to tell her where to find someone when she spots Grudge and says her name. Zora tells Michael where Grudge is, leading her to mutter under her breath "Yes, I can see that."

"All In"

• Haz's nicknames for Book and Burnham are "Glowworm" and "Right Hook." Also, he's a Shipper on Deck.
• Owo decides to enter a no-holds-barred prize fight to secure some necessary funds for their mission. Captain Burnham takes on the role of hype woman to get folks to bet on her, calling her "Oh Wow" Owosekun, which gets her a funny look from Owosekun.
• The amazingly unenthusiastic casino girl who brings Burnham and Owosekun their winnings could give April Ludgate a run for her money.
• Book and Tarka are trying to spot a cheater in the casino, and figure out that it's a Changeling. When cornered, the Changeling shapeshifts... into a tribble, and takes off rolling across the casino floor.
• Book and Burnham find themselves in a high-stakes poker game for the Mineral MacGuffin against two Emerald Chain goons and decide to team up against them. Burnham's strategy seems to be to act as distracting as possible and to tell what are strongly implied to be embarrassing stories about Book.
• Haz Mazaro does not have any time for Hold Your Hippogriffs:
  Haz: You got yourself a deal. But you jab a brussel fly, and I'll scoot some greenbread. Clear?
  Book: ... Crystal?

"The Galactic Barrier"

• After Saru gets the delegates settled aboard Discovery, he describes the process to Burnham with an Earth analogy about "herding cats". Despite the gravity of the situation, Burnham can't help but laugh a bit.

"Rosetta"

• Adira gets awe-struck when they see Commander Detmer walking by on her way to the mission of the week, and can't think of anything better to say than "Fly Good!" Thus making an unwitting callback to Captain Pike giving Detmer similar guidance.
  • When they meet again later, Detmer thanks Adira for the advice, noting that she did, in fact, "fly good" during the mission.

"Species Ten-C"

• Saru shows Michael his idea of stress relief and cuts loose with an incredibly loud Cathartic Scream. The dainty little cough as he composes himself afterwards just makes it even funnier.
  Saru: Sorry.
  Michael: Don't be. It's not even close to the weirdest thing that's happened to me today.

Season 5

Red Directive

• When Burnham and Book talk for the first time in awhile, a Funny Background Event has a tribble crawling around a hallway frame before it falls off and drops to the ground, scurrying off in a panic.
• A drunk Tilly is a rambling Tilly.

Jinaal

• Jinaal-in-Culber's offhand comment of "Wow, this guy really works out!"
• Book's first attempt at using his empathy on the Trill wildlife is blocked and results in him saying he senses hostility from the creatures that are currently trying to kill them. Michael snarks that she could also tell that.
• Tilly's twenty words:
  Tilly: You're. On. A. New. Ship. Fresh. Off. A. Demotion. Trying. To. Hide. How. Hard. That. Is. By. Being. A. Giant—

Mirrors

• Rayner tries to get Adira and Stamets to cut down on the technobabble. It doesn't really work.
  Rayner: Okay, I don't need to know how the cake is boiled.
  Adira: Kelleruns boil their cakes?
  Rayner: Don't knock it until you've tried it.

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