Tropes Media Browse Indexes Forums Videos Ask The Tropers Trope Finder Media Finder Trope Launch Pad Tech Wishlist Reviews Tools
Cut List New Edits Edit Reasons Launches Images List Crowner Activity Un-typed Pages Recent Page Type Changes Changelog
Tips
Creating New Redirects Cross Wicking Tips for Editing Text Formatting Rules Glossary Edit Reasons Handling Spoilers Word Cruft Administrivia FAQ
Tropes HQ
About Us Contact Us Advertise DMCA Notice Privacy Policy Report Bug
Go Ad-Free Changelog
  • Show Spoilers
  • Night Vision
  • Sticky Header
  • Highlight Links
 

Follow TV Tropes

Following

Funny / South Park - Seasons 11 to 15

Go To

Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.

    open/close all folders 

    Season 11 
With Apologies to Jesse Jackson
  • What kicks off the entire plot (and by extension, Season 11) is probably the most controversial thing Randy's ever said and done in the show: The category is "People Who Annoy You": NAGGERS.
  • Jesse Jackson forcing Randy to "apologise", literally meaning kissing his ass.
    • "Hey Token. I just wanted to let you know that everything is cool now. My dad apologized to Jesse Jackson."
    • Token dismisses this apology when Stan tries to bring it up, because as he puts it: "Jesse Jackson is not the Emperor of black people!" Stan's puzzled reaction to this indicates that Jesse Jackson apparently told Randy that he is the Emperor of black people.
      Stan: ...He told my dad he was.
  • Randy aka the "Nigger Guy" being treated like an African American living in the southern US during the Jim Crow era, complete with being hunted down by roving bands of socially progressive rednecks. Who wear the Confederate flag no less!
  • Cartman forcing Dr. Nelson to shout "Uncle!" and "Carol Anne, don't go into the light!" during their fight.
  • A reporter talks about the banning of the phrase "Nigger Guy", only to be immediately arrested for uttering the phrase.
    Reporter: Tom, it appears that the "Nigger Guy" epidemic is ove- (two police officers come and take him away) Oh, dammit, I said it, didn't I?

Cartman Sucks

  • When Cartman puts Butters' penis in his mouth and takes a picture, the other boys point out that it could be cited as evidence that Cartman, not Butters, is gay, so he vows to Photoshop Kyle's face into the picture in place of his own in case they ever tell anyone. But then the photo goes missing, and Kyle denies everything, so Cartman tries to convince his mom to get it back...
    Cartman: [Runs in crying] Maaaam! Maaaam!
    Liane: Eric, what's the matter?
    Cartman: I du-don't wu-wanna go to school tomorrow.
    Liane: Sweetie? Shh, tell mommy what happened.
    Cartman: Ku-kyle has a picture of meee! And he's gonna show everyone during show-and-tell and everyone's going to laugh at meeee!
    Liane: What is the picture of, Eric?
    Cartman: The last time when Butters spent the night, I was being really nice to hiiim, and I was gonna take a picture of him for his mom to have!
    Liane: Oh, that's nice.
    Cartman: When I took the picture, Butters got really hot so he pulled his pyjama bottoms down, and then I tripped and fell down and my mouth landed right on his penis, and then I thought of something funny so I smiled up at the camera and gave like a thumbsup, and then Kyle took the picture from me and he's going to show everybody and make them think I'm gaaaay! [continues sobbing]
    Liane: Oh there, there, Sweetie, it'll be okay! These things happen.
  • A few moments after:
    [the Broflovskis are eating dinner when the phone rings; Gerald, Kyle, and Ike continue eating as Sheila answers the phone]
    Sheila: Hello?
    Liane: Hello, Sheila? It's Liane, Eric's mother?
    Sheila: Oh, hello, Mrs. Cartman! [this gets Kyle's attention; he stops eating]
    Liane: Sheila, I'm sorry to trouble you with this, but apparently, your son has a picture of Eric with another boy's penis in his mouth.
    Sheila: [after a few seconds' Stunned Silence] Excuse me??
  • Cartman's slideshow at the end of the episode, leading up to his final photo:
    Cartman: This picture you may find somewhat controversial. [Shows the photo of him sucking off Butters, causing everyone to gasp in shock]
    Bebe: Eww!
    Clyde: [long pause] Dude.
    Cartman: Yes. This is shot at a 5.6 aperture using a low-light filter. You can see the grain from the high-speed film - there's sort of a penis in my mouth right here —and the low Depth of Field keeps the background soft.
    Mrs. Garrison: [Shocked and outraged] Eric, what the hell is this!?
    Cartman: What this is, is a statement against the war in Iraq. It's wrong that we still have our troops there. It's WRONG! And what I think that-
    Mr. Mackey: [running up to the classroom door] Uh, Eric Cartman? We got an emergency message from your mother. [reads message] "Do not show picture. Kyle didn't have it after all. Found it under your desk." She said you'd know what that means, mkay? [walks away]
    [Cartman is shocked at this. Kyle rests his chin in his hand with an exasperated "I told you" look on his face]
    Cartman: [after a very long pause] Lame.

Lice Capades

  • During the examination for head lice at the school, Stan is curious as to what happens when someone is found to have lice in their hair. Cartman, being the trolling bully he is, makes up this ridiculous spiel:
    Cartman: They drag you out of here, put you in this big containment facility, where they stick a cold metal pipe up your ass with this clear jelly, and then they shock your balls.
    Butters: (gasps while covering his balls)
  • This dialogue:
    Girl in waiting room: I have an ear infection. What are you seeing the doctor for?
    Clyde: (mortified that he has head lice) I have...I have AIDS. (His mother is flabbergasted)
  • Cartman demanding that whoever brought lice in come forward so they can alienate them. But Kyle is wise to Cartman's ways:
    Kyle: You know what? I'll bet it was you!
    Cartman: Me?!
    Kyle: This is exactly what you would do if they found lice in your hair! Try to lead the charge against somebody else to take the suspicion off of yourself!
    Cartman: I don't think so, Kyle! But you know what?! This is exactly what you would do if you had had head lice! Try to get everyone to blame me!
    Stan: You guys stop it! This isn't getting us anywhere!
    Cartman: That's exactly what you would do if you had had head lice, Stan.
    Kyle: Yeah, try to have everyone make peace so it doesn't seem like a big deal.
    Cartman: And this is exactly what Kenny would do: stand here and say nothing!
    Butters: Hey guys, what would I do?
  • Eventually, Cartman comes up with a test that he claims it'll reveal who had "head cooties". Once you hear what how it works, you'll know that it's all Insane Troll Logic.
    Cartman: Lice feed on a person's blood, and just like mosquitoes, they leave small traces of their saliva in the host's bloodstream. That saliva is monochromagnic. So if an infected person's blood is touched by... this hot metal coil, say... that person's blood will jump 10 meters into the air.
    Jimmy: Ur ur re- ur really?
    Kyle: That's retarded! You didn't come up with that experiment, Cartman, you saw it in that movie, The Thing!
    Cartman: [figuring out how to respond] ...This is a scientific test, designed to-
    Kyle: You saw it in The Thing and you're wasting everyone's time!
    Cartman: I thought you might say that, Kyle. because you don't want to take the test, do you?!
    Kyle: Nobody's blood is going to jump up in the air!
    Cartman: If it isn't going to work, then what are you afraid of? The only person who wouldn't want to take the test is somebody who was worried it might work and reveal that they were the ones with LICE!
    Craig: Yeah. That's true.
    Jimmy: I have no problem taking the test. I have nothing to hi-huhiii-hide.
    Token: Yeah. Me neither.
    Kyle: All right, fine. I'll do the dumb test.
  • The boys eventually decide that Kenny is the one who has head lice, and decide to give him a "sock bath", until Kyle feels really guilty about sock-bathing Kenny because he had head lice. However, Stan, Craig, Butters, and Cartman also reveal that they had head lice.
    Stan: Why are you saying that, Kyle? You can't be the one who had head lice. [walks up to him] Because I was. You're just trying to make me feel bad because you figured that out, didn't you?!
    Clyde: (confused) Wait a-wait a minute, what?
    Cartman: Oh I get it. [walks up to Stan and Kyle] This is some kind of big trick on me! You've known I was the one with head lice all along, huh?!
    Stan: YOU had head lice?
    Cartman: Of course! Why do you think I went through that elaborate bullcrap experiment to frame Kenny?!
  • Mrs. Garrison reveals that they all had head lice. As the boys mull over this revelation, Cartman realizes that if they all have head lice...then Kenny was lying about not having head lice and they decide to sock bath him anyway. After all, they're not wrong.
    Mrs. Garrison: [running up to the sock bath in progress] You all had head lice! Every single person in the class - the boys and the girls! Lice spreads fast, ya dumbasses!
    Craig: [after a very long pause between the boys] I thought I was the only one.
    Butters: Me too.
    Cartman: But, that means... that means Kenny was lying! Sock bath! [the other boys join in the chant "Sock bath!" and gang up on Kenny once again]
  • The lice subplot itself is hilarious in how it puts the lice through a rather anvilicious Green Aesop disaster movie, while contrasting it with Clyde rather prosaically having a shower with anti-lice shampoo.

The Snuke

  • Cartman and Kyle fighting about the Broken Aesop at the end.

Fantastic Easter Special

  • This scene:
    Cartman: (while sitting on a Mall Easter Bunny's lap) And I want a Baltor soldier doll for Easter, and five Crash-'n'-Go RC cars, you got that?! Do you have that?!
    The Mall Easter Bunny: Uhh, don't you think that's...
    Cartman: No no! You don't ask me questions! You are a rabbit! I am a human! So if you don't bring me what I want for Easter, I can fucking kill you.
    Photographer: Smile! (snaps a picture)
    Cartman: (sits up and starts walking away cheerfully) Bye, Easter Bunny!
  • Also, Jesus trying to convince Kyle to kill him so that he can resurrect outside the bars of the cell they're in. Kyle is naturally HORRIFIED by the idea of this, and when he decides to do it, comments "Eric Cartman can never know about this."
  • And just prior, Donahue literally double-crossing Stan, Kyle and Randy, and Benedict's reaction to Donahue ordering Jesus to be killed: "Alright, that does it Bill. I'm pretty sure killing Jesus is not very Christian."
  • "PEEEEE-EEPS!!!"
  • Hearing "Here Comes Peter Cottontail" being sung in Latin.

D-Yikes!

  • After Mrs Garrison has had her first lesbian experience:
    Mrs Garrison: Allison and I talked and really opened up to each other, and then we...scissored all night long.
    Butters: You have to be careful with scissors.
  • Garrison's fight with another one of the lesbians.
    Mrs. Garrison: Uh! You kicked me right in the pussy!
  • The constant Take Thats aimed at the Persians taste in fashion and decorating.

Night of the Living Homeless

  • When Gerald is genuinely looking for change among the zombie-like hoards of homeless people, leading the other South Park adults to believe he's been turned.
  • The scientist's repeated attempts at killing himself with a bullet to the head or other vital organ, only to keep failing and screaming in pain.
  • Kyle's repeated suggestions of Cartman jumping over homeless people on a skateboard.

Le Petit Tourette

  • Anything that Cartman says while pretending to have Tourette's Syndrome is funny by itself. Even most of the other kids start laughing at his statements. Special mention goes to Craig, who fawns over how he wants to say all those things Cartman says.
    Craig: If I could say [insert offensive vulgarity here], I would be soooo happy.
  • The Running Gag with Chris Hansen's Compelling Voice to Cartman when the former asks the latter "Why don't you take a seat? Take a seat right over there.", much to the latter's annoyance.
  • Kyle and Thomas' plan to take down Cartman's debut on Dateline? Going online posing as little boys who would have sex with older men, prompting them to meet the boys at the studio, only to find Chris Hansen, immediately believing that they're going to be on "To Catch a Predator", committing suicide shortly after by shooting themselves in the head, scaring the audience away. Even funner is when Chris Hansen finds Thomas outside the studio, asking if he had something to do with it. Thomas' response?
    Thomas: Stupid shit! Cock!
    Chris Hansen: What?! Nobody talks to me like that! Why don't you take a seat? Take a seat, right over there.
    Thomas: Suck it! Asshole licker dickfart!
    Chris Hansen: Why you little... I'll, I'll tell on you! [leaves]
    • During the suicides mentioned above, each of the men shout things like "Chris Hanson!?" or "Dateline!?" before the gunshot. One, however, shouts "There's no brownies!?"
  • And to top it all off, Craig comes by and is amazed at how Thomas can swear so much without getting into big trouble:
    Craig: Wow, you're the coolest kid in the world. If I could call Chris Hansen an asshole-licking dickfart to his face, I would be sooo happy.
    Thomas: You would?
    Craig: Could I just like, hang out with you sometimes? Like, do your laundry maybe?

Imaginationland

  • While both a sad moment and full on Nightmare Fuel, it's rather funny that even in a completely different universe and medium from Peanuts, the old blockhead Charlie Brown still can't catch a break, making it more humorous it's implied the leg Charlie loses in the terrorist attack is the very same one he uses to try kicking the football from Lucy.
  • Just the hyper-serious Rambo-like way Cartman's going about his quest. Which includes this immortal exchange:
    Truck driver: Glad I picked you up, kid. It's dangerous for someone your age to be hitchhiking.
    Cartman: [Grimly] Yeah, well... when a man has been wronged... he no longer cares about danger.
    Truck driver: You going to Washington to visit family?
    Cartman: I've got unfinished business. You go through life being told there's justice.Then you learn the only real justice... is the justice you take.
    [Cartman produces a picture of Kyle and stares at it grimly]
    Cartman: Make no mistake, Kyle. Before this is over, you will suck my balls.
    [Cartman strokes his finger over Kyle's lips.]
  • The government trying to get help from directors. They try M. Night Shyamalan (who only gives twists), Michael Bay (who only gives special effects) and Mel Gibson (who actually gives good ideas).

Imaginationland, Part III

  • The Council of Nine tries to get Butters to imagine Santa Claus back into existence. What's the first thing Butters imagines? His father, who immediately grounds him and then turns into a demon before Butters fades him out of existence.
  • Imaginary!Kyle and Imaginary!Cartman's absolutely ridiculous facial expressions when Kyle sucks Cartman's balls. Kyle has this dumb, dopey smile on his face the whole time, and Cartman looks on in awe and makes a face like "Woah, he's sucking my balls, guys!" towards the camera.
  • There's also Ike's reaction to hearing that Kyle's gonna suck Cartman's balls.
    Ike: Yay, Kyle's gonna suck balls!

More Crap

  • The reason why Bono feels the need to be the best at everything.
    Bono's "father": My little crap has accomplished many things, but he could never shed the fact that he was really...a number two. So he spent his life trying to be number one, in everything!
  • Randy taking a “100 Couric” dump!
  • The Running Gag of a banner popping up proclaiming South Park to be an "Emmy Award Winning Series" whenever particular focus is given to Randy's crap, culminating in one of the board members in Zurich grabbing the Emmy and shoving it into Randy's gigantic record-setting crap.

Guitar Queer-O

  • "Congratulations! You got 1 million points! YOU...ARE...FAGS!!!"
    Stan: That's it?
    Kyle: Goddamn it. God. Damn. It.
  • Stan and Kyle walk in to find Randy addicted to Heroin Hero
    Stan: Aww god damn it! Dad, get off our Xbox!
    Randy: (utterly entranced) Hang on, I almost caught the dragon.
  • After Stan and Kyle finish playing Guitar Hero and leave:
    Cartman: Butters, you wanna play me next?
    Butters: Heh, okay, but I get to be the one that betrays you after the sex and drug party.

The List

    Season 12 
Tonsil Trouble
  • When Cartman says to Magic, "I'm not just sure, I'm HIV-positive." Kyle then explodes at Cartman and says that it isn't funny to joke about it, followed by Cartman joking with him again. He doesn't take this well.
  • And of course, with Cartman having given Kyle HIV through a syringe, everyone assumes the phrase "He gave me AIDS!" means something else entirely.
  • Jimmy Buffett is hired to sing at the AIDS benefit concert in place of Elton John.
    Jimmy: AIDSburger in Paradise! AIDSburger and it ain't nice!
    • Cartman's assessment of Jimmy Buffett:
      Cartman: Nobody likes Jimmy Buffett, except for frat boys and alcoholic chicks from the South!

Major Boobage

  • Whenever Kenny is tripping on cat urine.
  • Kenny and Gerald wrestling in the sandpit at the end of this episode is priceless.
  • The best part was the Take That! at the Eliot Spitzer apology. Especially when Gerald describes what goes in the drug-induced fantasy while Stan and Kyle are standing there wondering what the hell he's talking about. And then Randy pops in: "And you never really get a good look at her naked boobs anyway."
  • In the final scene, Kenny has seemingly kicked his cat urine addiction - and ends up finding another way to get stoned:
    Stan: You guys! Check it out! It's Kenny. [across the road, Kenny picks a flower and sniffs it] Isn't that great? He's just getting high on life.
    Kyle: Yeah. [Kenny sniffs the flower even more deeply and gets a crazed look, then picks and sniffs another flower; Stan, Kyle, and Cartman's smiles fade] He's getting... really high on life. [Kenny begins grabbing bunches of flowers and snorting them, whooping with delight]
    Cartman: Dude, he's getting super wasted on life.
    Kyle: Kenny! [he, Stan, and Cartman run across the road; Kenny faints into Kyle's arms, his eyes unfocused]
    Stan: What the hell kind of flowers are those!?
    Kyle: Kenny? KENNY!
    [but Kenny is back in his Heavy Metal-inspired hallucination, in the passenger seat of the Thunderbird with the large-breasted girl at the wheel, dancing to Sammy Hagar's "Heavy Metal" blasting on the soundtrack]
    Kenny: [watching the large-breasted girl's chest bouncing] (WOO HOO HOO!) [the Thunderbird weaves around breast-shaped planets and moons before blasting into hyperspace]

Canada on Strike

  • Butters singing "What What In The Butt".
    Tron Guy: I know you! You're that "what what in my asshole' kid!"
    Butters: "What what in the butt, sir.
  • "That's right, suck my Canadian balls!"
  • This call & response between Terrance & Phillip and Stephen Abootman:
    Terrance: Don't call me a rat, buddy!
    Stephen: I'm not your buddy, friend!
    Phillip: He's not your friend, guy!
    Stephen: I'm not your guy, buddy!
    Terrance: He's not your buddy, friend!
    Stephen: I'm not your friend, guy!
  • As the boys look over the carnage at the CDIM:
    Cartman: Sweet, I think we're next in line now.

Eek, A Penis!

  • Everyone referring to the penis mouse as a penis without questioning why a mouse has a penis growing on its back.
  • When Garrison reports the aforementioned mouse to the police, the sketch artist draws Mickey Mouse with an erection.
  • When the Stotches notice the penis mouse running around their house, Butters confirms that it must be the teacher's penis, leading his dad to question Butters about how he knows what his teacher's penis looks like.
    Stephen: Butters, how do you know what your teacher's penis looks like?
    Butters: [confused] Huh?

Breast Cancer Show Ever

  • Eric Cartman literally eating his own underwear.
    Wendy: You don't get it asshole! There is nothing you can do to stop this fight! I'm going to wipe the playground with you right in front of everyone! I going to shove your ass down your throat and make you eat your underwear!
    (beat)
    Cartman: "Eat my underwear"?
    Wendy: That's right!
    (beat)
    Cartman: Okay, Wendy. I will eat my underwear. Right here, right now.
    Wendy: Jesus Christ! Do you have no sense of self-respect!?
    Cartman: No! ...Unless you want me to! Do you want me to have self-respect? Then I will!
    Wendy: You fucking suck so HARD!
    Cartman: I'll eat my underwear, Wendy! (starts taking off his pants) And then you'll be satisfied. We can put this whole thing behind us. (starts taking off his briefs)
    Wendy: What are you doing?!
    Cartman: I'm committed to peace, Wendy. (slowly starts shoving his briefs in his mouth; as Wendy watches in horror and disgust) I want you to see...just how humbled I am...(starts gagging)
    Wendy: Ewwwww!
    Cartman: (incredibly muffled, and still gagging in between sentences) Wendy! Look at me, Wendy! (groans and finally swallows) There! (with tears in his eyes) There.
    Wendy: (horrified) Oh my god!
    Cartman: (meekly) So... are we cool?
    Wendy: NO!
    Cartman: I ATE MY UNDERWEAR! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! (burps)
    Wendy: You are so PATHETIC! (runs away)
    Cartman: WENDY, IT ISN'T FAIR! I ATE MY UNDERWEAR FOR YOU! NOOOOOOOO!
    (Craig looks in, confused)
    Cartman: ...Yo, what's up, dawg?
    • Later when Cartman tries to convince Stan to forbid Wendy from fighting him, he suddenly throws up his underwear mid-sentence, with Stan looking at him in horrified confusion as he stands with his bile-covered briefs in his hands:
      Cartman: (trying to be as casual as possible) Oh. That's where I put those...
  • Cartman taking a crap on the teacher's desk to purposely get detention.
    Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just take a crap on my desk?
    Cartman: What's up? What's up? Just crapped on your desk, dawg, what's up wit that?
    [everyone looks at Cartman in shock]
    Butters: Huh.
  • The aftermath of Cartman getting the shit beaten out of him.
    Cartman: (sniffs) You don't have to say anything. I know how it is. (sobs) I'm no longer the cool kid. Now you all think I'm a fa-a-ah-ah-aaaaag! (starts ugly crying) My school life is over because all the guys don't think I'm coo-hu-hu-ooool!
    Stan: Dude, we never thought you were cool.
    Cartman: (sobs) That's not true! You're just saying that!
    Kyle: No, really! We've always thought you sucked.
    Jimmy: Yeah, nothing's changed. Our opinion of you can't possibly go any lower!
    Cartman: You're all just saying that to make me feel better! (continues crying)
    Craig: No, it's true, we've always hated you.
    Butters: Yeah!
    Cartman: DON'T TRY AND MAKE ME FEEL BETTER, YOU GUYS! IT ISN'T— Wait, wait a minute. Why would you be saying stuff to make me feel better? Unless...unless you DO think I'm cool!
    Craig: ...What?
    Cartman: If you're all trying to make me feel better, that you must still like me! Oh, oh, whew! Oh, here I've been so worried about what you guys would think of me if I got beat up by a girl, and it turns out you think I'm cool no matter what! Oh! Oh! Oh god, what a relief! YAY!

About Last Night

  • While half the town is celebrating Obama's victory by getting royally plastered, what is Cartman doing? Riding around stealing everyone's TV, of course.

Elementary School Musical

  • All of the songs!
  • Cartman tries to kill himself due to High School Musical being what's cool. Naturally he fails miserably.
    Kyle: What happened, I thought you were going to kill yourself.
    Cartman: I tried. Went to sleep in my mom's car in the garage with the engine turned on.
    Stan: And you didn't die?
    Cartman: Freaking hybrids man, they just don't do the trick anymore.
  • And then there's the throwaway joke, "And it looks like there will be more singing and dancing in High School".
  • Cartman ripping on Scott Malkinson without even looking up from his video game. If you've ever done the same to a friend, you'll know why it's so funny.
    Stan: I mean, look at who you guys are hanging out with now. Scott Malkinson, for Christ's sake.
    Scott: What's so bad about hanging out with me?
    Cartman: Shut up, Scott Malkinson. "I'm Scott Malkinson. I've got a lisp and I've got diabetes."
    Scott: Hey, don't make fun of my diabetes!
    Cartman: "Don't make fun of my diabetes, I'm Scott Malkinson." (Kenny laughs)

The Ungroundable

  • When Butters is spying on the vampire kids and messing around with a tape recorder, which suddenly starts playing a recording of him as "Big Texas Butters" full-blast. One of Butters' biggest Adorkable moments as well.
  • Butters tries to feed off of Cartman when he becomes one of the vampire kids, who mistakes his neck-sucking as an attempt at giving him a hickey. Cartman's matter-of-factly deadpan explanation to his mother just sells it:
    Liane: [After Butters pukes and leaps out the window] What's going on?
    Cartman: Well mom, apparently Butters is gay, finds me very attractive and, confused about his sexual identity, puked up all over my floor.
    Liane: Oh, dear.
    Cartman: Yes.

    Season 13 
The Ring
  • When Butters rushes up to the boys to tell them about how Kenny's girlfriend, Tammy Warner, is a slut to the point where she gave a kid named Dave Darsky a "BJ" at T.G.I. Friday's, the boys decide to break the news to Kenny... Even though it's revealed that Butters doesn't know what a BJ is in the first place.
    Butters: Hey, Jimmy, what's a BJ?
  • When the boys managed to break the news to Kenny about Tammy Warner, they expect him to be heartbroken, but Kenny, Lovable Sex Maniac he is, absolutly cheers as if he had just won the lottery and rushes off to Tammy's side to get a BJ himself.
    Cartman: He took it pretty well.
  • Pretty much every scene involving Mickey Mouse. Especially the scene where he cusses out the Jonas Brothers while beating up one of the members.
    Mickey Mouse: YOU DON'T! FUCKING! TALK TO ME! LIKE THAT! ha ha. YOU LITTLE! PIECE OF SHIT! ha ha.
  • The ending of "The Ring", especially the news anchorman's dialogue.
    News Anchorman: As Mickey returns to Valhalla, to slumber and feed.

The Coon

  • Cartman's constant F-Bombs.
    Butters: But why do you want to get rid of Mysterion? You both fight for justice and good.
    Cartman: Yeah, but he's a fucking dick!
  • Professor Chaos has a chart of "Mysterion suspects", which includes every boy in class except Cartman, Token, Jimmy, and Timmy. He also has a chart of "Coon suspects", which is narrowed down to Bruce Vilanch, Harvey Fierstein...and Cartman.

Margaritaville

  • "And it's gone!"
  • Several members of the US Treasury consult "the chart" to deal with economic problems. Said chart is a round pit divided into labeled sections. Consulting this "chart" involves cutting the head off of a live chicken and tossing the body into the pit. They then play "Yakety Sax" on the kazoo until it stops moving, and whatever space it lands in determines what they do. The spaces include "Bad Bank", "Indian Casinos", "Buy Mortgages!", "$10 Trillion", "Sell to China", "Lower Gas Prices", "Run for the Hills", "Call JP Morgan", "Telethon", "Tax the Rich", "Cut Education", "Press Conference", "Print Money", "$90 Trillion", "Go to Congress", "Go to War", "$1 Billion", "Raise Fed", "Let Fail", "Nationalize!!!", "Coup d'Etat", "Socialize", "Bailout!", and "Try Again".

Eat, Pray, Queef

  • Cartman's rant over telephone to the Canada Channel in disgust for them showing the Queef Sisters instead of Terrance and Phillip. In addition, Clyde mentions that he threw up on his way home, which Cartman makes clear to them exactly afterwards.

Fishsticks

  • When Kanye West hears the "Gay Fish" joke, in true Kanye fashion, he makes it all about him and takes it as if the joke is meant to call him gay. Crazy, crazy shenanigans ensue.
  • The increasingly ridiculous "mental gymnastic" flashbacks Cartman has about writing the joke, painting himself as more awesome each time, and "definitely not fat".

Pinewood Derby

  • The whole world takes a vow not to tell the space cops about the spacebucks they found on Baby Fark McGee-Zax's ship. This doesn't quite go as planned when the president of Finland decides to tell the spacecops about it anyway. So, to prevent him from doing it, the rest of the world nukes the entire country of Finland. When the spacecops question them about Finland suddenly being wiped off the map, their attempts to feign innocence are hilarious.

Fatbeard

  • Ike's reason for joining Cartman's pirate crew, according to his farewell letter to Gerald and Sheila? He was so sick of hearing about Susan Boyle that he was going to puke up his balls if he heard her name brought up one more time.
  • The fact that Cartman and his crew are able to take over an entire cruise ship by waving Kevin Stoley's toy lightsaber around.
    Navy officer: They were French, so they surrendered immediately.
  • Kyle is talking about how the world has used Somalia as a toxic waste dump so much even the fish are radioactive. Then a mutated fish walks out of the sea, sees what's going on, screams and runs back in.
  • The ending, where the US Navy rescues the kids by shooting all the pirates, or as the officer in charge put it "do not hit the white ones!"
    Cartman: [after the pirates are shot by snipers, leaving only the six kids alive] ...DA FUCK!?

Dead Celebrities

  • This dialogue:
    Kyle: "The first time you saw blood stains on your underwear, were you alarmed?"
    • Just so everyone knows what this is about, Cartman experiences this after eating Chipotle (but refuses to stop eating Chipotle).
  • In one scene, Billy Mays is annoying the other dead celebrities with yet another product placement. Walter Cronkite and Patrick Swayze yell at him, complaining that it's bad enough without having to put up with him. Billy's response?
    Billy Mays: "With just two easy steps, I can climb over these seats and kick you right in the fucking balls!"
    • What makes it even funnier is that he still threatens them in his pitching voice, smiling the whole time.
  • The Ghost Hunters acting like complete idiots for thinking everything is a ghost, including a cigarette lighter and a television. They use their pants as toilets and are somehow stupid enough to think it's paranormal activity. Even the ghost hunters themselves liked it.

Butters' Bottom Bitch

  • Pimp!Butters is simply WIN.
    Butters: "Bitch, you wanna make some real motherfuckin' money?" "You know what I am saying?" "Aw, hell, Dad, I got lots of girlfriends. Sally is just my bottom bitch!" "Really great work, bitch. That is another sunshine sticker for you." "All these bitches are kissin' fellers, and they haven't figured out that they can be makin' some serious fucking money!"
    • And he keeps his pimp hand strong.
    Butters: "I'm afraid you get a stormy cloud."
  • Butters manages to throw together the most successful prostitution ring in South Park - without any idea what prostitution even is. He's under the impression that his girls are only charging guys for hugs and kisses.
    Butters: "Senator Morris gets kisses every day at lunchtime! You know where he likes to get kissed? In a motel room! Darnedest thing! He must get sleepy."

W.T.F.

  • The boys quickly learn that Professional Wrestling is best performed as a melodrama, so by the conclusion they're not actually wrestling, but performing dialogue in the ring - all while the spectators are holding wine glasses as they enjoy a night at the bar.
  • Whenever Mr. Connors, the school's wrestling coach, tries to explain what real wrestling is, everyone else just interprets it as gay sex.
  • The episode concludes with their former wrestling coach interrupting to shout at the crowd over how what they're doing isn't real "wrassling" and getting booed off... until he drops this.
    Mr. Connors: Why do I care?! These kids made it so real wrassling is gone from schools. It's practically gone from the culture! Dammit, they took my job!
    • Mr. Connors then proceeds to give a speech on-par with Dusty Rhodes' famous "Hard Times" promo due to touching on the same themes, getting a standing ovation and thrown roses from the crowd in response.

Whale Whores

  • The Japanese constantly screaming "FRUCK YOU VALE! VUCK YOU DOLPHIN!" as they slaughter whales and dolphins en masse - including the National Football League's Miami Dolphins.
  • Eric Cartman singing "Poker Face" on a "Rock Band"-style game. (Especially the line "I don't give a crap about whales so go and hug a tree".)
  • When Stan insists the boys do something about Japanese whale and dolphin hunting, Kyle says they can't change the way a whole country thinks, while Cartman says he and Kenny "don't give two shits about stupid-ass whales." Then Stan becomes the star of the hit TV show Real, Actual Whale Wars, leading Cartman to try to Retcon the conversation:
    [Cartman and Kenny are trying to volunteer for Stan's crew]
    Stan: Oh, what, so now that I have a hit TV show, you guys care about dolphins and whales!?
    Cartman: [wearing a "Save the Whales" shirt] We always have!
    Kenny: [with "Dolphin Lover" written on the front of his parka] (Yeah! Totally!)
    Stan: I asked you guys to help me and you said "No!"
    Cartman: That's not what we said.
    Stan: [gets in Cartman's face] You said, "Stan, me and Kenny don't give two shits about stupid-ass whales."
    Cartman: We were talkin' about Wales, the country!
  • The Reveal that the reason the Japanese have such a hate-on for the Whales and Dolphins - the US said they were to blame for Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
    • They change to screaming "FUCK YOU COW!" and "FUCK YOU CHICKEN!" when they find out from Stan from (yet another altered photo) that a cow and a chicken dropped the bomb on Hiroshima. They say this while killing said animals violently.
    • Randy sums up what Stan accomplished in the episode: He's made the Japanese normal by making them slaughter cows and chickens.

Dances With Smurfs

  • When Gordon Stoltski is reading the morning announcements, a crazy guy comes in and accuses him of sleeping with his wife and threatens to kill him. While this is happening offscreen, the whole class is listening to their exchange with disturbed looks... except for Clyde and Red, who just continue with their writing, looking extremely bored and Timmy who is just sitting there and smiling, completely oblivious.
  • Just the scene alone when Stan confronts Cartman over the bullshit sex rumors on Wendy in his book.
    Stan: It's five hundred and forty pages of ripping on Wendy and calling her a slut!
    Cartman: I do not directly say she's a slut.
    Stan: (quoting the book) Wendy Testaburger has proven time and time again that she will do anything to pleasure her vagina. Whether it is the school football team or the janitors on their break, Wendy spends her time as president on her knees or on her back taking the old in-out for hours on end!
    Cartman: You didn't read the rest, dude.
    Stan: "Or does she?"
    Cartman: "Or does she?" See, that's a question. I'm asking questions, Stan!
  • Stan confronts a group of students who are reading Cartman's book:
    Stan: Listen, just because a guy's voice is on the intercom and his words are in a book, doesn't mean he has any idea what he's talking about!
    Student: Yes, it does!
    Casey Miller: Eric Cartman is simply making it so that all kids take responsibility to question their school leaders. We should all ask if our president is a penis-hungry hooker with a huge vagina. (beat) I'm Casey Miller.
  • Cartman's "Dances With Smurfs" school presentation. An inane faux documentary about Cartman entering the Smurf Village, before "Wendy" (actually Cartman dressed as Wendy) exterminates them all with a bulldozer. All of the class are sitting through it bored or dumbfounded, except Butters who is sobbing loudly.
  • Wendy turning the tables against Cartman by acknowledging the allegations as true and claiming that the Smurfs forced her hand when they were unwilling to co-operate and identifying Cartman as a henchman when she claims to have sent him to infiltrate the Smurf village only to end up becoming one of them. All to Cartman's shock and bewilderment.
  • Cartman's reaction to Avatar: "You sons of bitches! Dances with Smurfs was my idea! MY IDEA! You can't just take one person's idea and call it... something else." Which is either Harsher in Hindsight or Hilarious in Hindsight, given the myriad accusations of plagiarism the movie's had leveled at it.
  • Then Wendy steps down as student council president and gives the position to Cartman. Casey Miller replaces him as announcer and criticizes Cartman's tenure, to which he runs out of the room crying.

Pee

  • The scene where Cartman is imagining what the world will be like when the minorities take over. "Nuuuuuuuuu!"
  • The part where Kyle asks, "Oh come on. Who pees in the shower?" Then everyone stares at Stan for a few seconds, before he openly admits it.
  • This doozy of a pun: "We checked the PH levels; it was all Pee, no H."
  • The entire episode is pretty much funny all in all, but the funniest moments have to be the parts of Kyle's Humiliation Conga:
    • First he has to swim in pee in order to get to his friends.
    • He's then forced to agree to swim down to the drainage valve submerged in pee.
    • Finally, in order to maintain buoyancy while swimming down, he has to DRINK some pee.
    • And to top it all off, as soon as he finishes drinking the pee, the rescue team finally comes to rescue everyone trapped in the water park, making Kyle's ordeal all for nothing.
    Stan: All right, they finally came for us!
    Kyle: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?
  • At the end of the episode, Kyle exclaims just how much pee grosses him out.
    Kyle: Goddammit, don't you get it!? I hate pee! I'm grossed out by pee! The only thing I find more disgusting than pee is bananas!
    Fire Marshal: You all need to eat your banana immediately!
    Kyle: What the hell for!?
    Stevens: [cocks his gun and aims at Kyle] Eat the banana or we have to put you down!
    Kyle: AAAAAAAA!

    Season 14 
Sexual Healing
  • Its version of Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11 - it was less of a golfing sim and more a fighting game.
  • When the CDC tests the children for sex addiction by showing them a graphic painting, Kenny actually cheers.
  • When Kyle, Kenny, and Butters have been diagnosed positive for sex addiction, Dr. Tonton elaborates on how bad their addiction will get, ending it with autoerotic asphyxiation.
    Kenny: Autoerotic asphyxiation? What's that?
    Dr. Tonton: I don't want to go into too much detail but... you choke yourself with a belt around your neck while masturbating dressed up like Batman or something, then you pass out from lack of air, and apparently it makes your orgasm SUPER AWESOME.
    Kenny: Really?!
    Butters: Oh, no... I don't wanna have to buy a Batman costume!
    Carol: AAAAGH!!!
  • The "alien wizard" appearing.

The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs

  • Inevitably, Mr. Garrison telling the class about the risqué content in The Catcher in the Rye inspires them to read the book in one sitting. Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny don't understand what all the fuss is about. Butters, meanwhile...
    [Kyle's room; Kyle is reading the book at his desk, while Stan is reading on the floor next to the bed]
    Stan: Did you get to any dirty parts yet?
    Kyle: No! It's still just some whiny annoying teenager talking about how lame he is. [he and Stan go back to reading]
    Stan: I don't get it, dude. What's so controversial about this? All he's done is said "shit" and "fuck" a few times.
    Kyle: I know! I'm almost at the end and there's nothing!
    [Cartman storms into the room and slams the door behind him]
    Cartman: Motherfucker! The whole thing. I read the whole fucking thing! I kept thinking, "All right, I guess the cool, offensive stuff must be coming." And then, after like a hundred pages, I was like, "All right, I guess all the dirty stuff is at the end!" And then I got to the last page! And I was all, "... the fuck is this!? I just read a book! For nothing!"
    Kyle: [picking up his copy of the book] Why the hell was this book banned?!
    Cartman: They fucking tricked us, that's what they did! Tricked us into reading a book by enticing us with promises of vulgarity!
    [Kenny enters the room and holds up his copy of the book]
    Kenny: (Dude, what the fuck is so filthy or offensive in here!?)
    Cartman: We know, we were just saying that!
    Stan: Why would anyone think this book is obscene or dangerous?!
    [cut to the Stotch house; Butters is reading the book at the kitchen table with an intense expression. After reading the last page, he closes the book firmly]
    Butters: KILL JOHN LENNON. KILL JOHN LENNON. [he walks over to a drawer and takes out a knife] KILL JOHN LENNON. KILL JOHN LENNON! [he walks to the door to the living room, where Stephen is reading the newspaper in an armchair] Hey Dad, where does John Lennon live?
    Stephen: [not looking up from his paper] John Lennon's dead, Butters.
    Butters: [disappointed] Aw... dang it! [drops the knife on the floor and trudges back into the kitchen]
  • Morgan Freeman reading "The Poop That Took A Pee".
  • "How come a transvestite donkey witch is standing next to you, and why is it wearing a dress?"

Medicinal Fried Chicken

  • Randy and his buds, after purposely getting testicular cancer in order to get some medical marijuana, riding their swollen testicles like Hoppity Hops to get around townnote . The concept itself is typical South Park, but the wacky music accompanying it makes the concept even funnier.
    • The fact that they're willing to get giant tumors just to get weed.
  • When Cartman finds that KFC has been banned, he does a Big "NO!" that ends with his head EXPLODING. Somehow, he's all patched up afterward.
  • Cartman goes to a methadone clinic to get off his addiction to KFC. They serve him a tiny cup of gravy.
  • Cartman's three Pedophile Priest jokes done with Is the Answer to This Question "Yes"?.

You Have 0 Friends

  • Cartman takes Kyle to a video chatting website called ChatRoulette so that Kyle can make new online friends. It's nothing but dudes jacking off. And when they seemingly find one guy who actually wants to chat, he too takes out his penis.

201

  • So how does the conflict between South Park, the Super Best Friends, the gingers, and the celebrities come to an end? By everyone laughing at Tom Cruise for having Sea-Man on his back.
    Sea-Man: I'll get you, Tom Cruise! (Attempts to tackle the censored Tom Cruise)
    Stan: Hey look! Tom Cruise has Semen on his back!
    Tom Cruise: (Everyone gasps as Tom Cruise's censor bar disappears) What did you say?!
    Kyle: Oh yeah! Tom Cruise does have Semen on his back!
    Jesus: I guess, maybe Tom Cruise likes Semen! (Everyone laughs)
  • Earlier in that same episode, the scene of Buddha and Jesus vulgarly bickering over their respective addictions to cocaine and internet porn, both for its hilarity and the potshot it takes at the double standards of which religious figures are and aren't okay to ridicule. Made even funnier in light of season 23's Christmas episode "Christmas Snow," in which Jesus Himself snorts cocaine.

Crippled Summer

  • "My name is Towelie. T-O-W-E-L... Y-E-Y."
  • The entire Lake Tardicaca plot is its own self-contained CMOF, seeing how it's a giant Looney Tunes homage, but special mention goes to seeing Nathan, Jimmy's "rival", being raped by a shark. You know what they say: Rape is funny when it's a shark with a nine foot penis on an eight-year-old mentally retarded boy.
    • The best part, though, is that this is all punctuated by the Intervention-style cutaways from Towelie's arc, often stating the obvious in the most hilariously deadpan way.
    Mimsy was supposed to blow the shark whistle while still under the water.
    There appears to have been a fundamental misunderstanding.
    Nathan's frustration with Mimsy has caused a momentary lapse in judgement.
    He has played the B Flat himself, thus causing his plan to literally backfire on him.
    • And then, immediately afterwards, he gets subjected to a Humiliation Conga consisting of everything bad that's happened to him up to that point, back to back. Including the shark.
  • Cartman's abnormally calm rant on Jews during his turn at Towelie's intervention.
    Cartman: Kyle, I hate you so much. You are a liar and a swindler who would do anything for money. You are a race of beady-eyed thieves, Kyle, who throughout the millennia have squirmed and worked your way into the dark cubbyholes of society. Where exactly did the Jews first get their power and how are they able to manipulate our minds today? ... If in fact the Jews truly are shapeshifters, and I believe I've presented enough evidence here to prove that they are, then we must unite as a species to fight them and stop their plan of global domination and the control of our freedom.
  • And when Cartman's finished, no one comments and Stan just starts his turn.

Poor and Stupid

  • When Cartman ends up in hospital after crashing in his first NASCAR race, it seems his mass consumption of Vagisil has had some side effects he didn't anticipate:
    Doctor: All right, Eric, we got the X-rays back.
    Butters: How bad is it, Doctor?
    Doctor: He has two fractured ribs, a broken femur, torn ligaments in both knees, and a Level 2 concussion. He also appears to be developing three small vaginas in his stomach, but they're all sparkling clean.
    Butters: [giving Cartman a reassuring pat on the arm] Well, at least there's that.
  • NASCAR fan Kenny confronts Cartman over the bad publicity he is giving NASCAR and its fans, and almost loses his mind in the face of Cartman's Insane Troll Logic:
    [Kenny stomps down the road and up the Cartmans' front path; he pounds the door twice, kicks it, then pounds it three more times]
    Cartman: [opening the door] Oh, hey Kenny!
    Kenny: (Dude, what the fuck are you doing!?)
    Cartman: Come in, dude! I wanna show you what I've been working on! [he leads Kenny into the living room to a large pile of luxury goods including a plasma TV, a flatscreen monitor, a jet ski, enough speakers for a surround sound system, a VHS/DVD/Blu-Ray player, and a Room-bot robotic vacuum cleaner] Check it out! I thought I could just give all my money away and be poor as your family, but then I realised, what do poor people do? Buy things even though they don't have money by going out and purchasing things that are 0% down and no payments for two years! That's how you people stay poor forever! Am I right? That's it, right?
    Kenny: [spends a few seconds absorbing this] (Dude, fuck you!)
    Cartman: Kenny, I'm just trying to get good at NASCAR!
    Kenny: (Being poor has nothing to do with NASCAR!)
    Cartman: Hey, I love NASCAR just as much as you do!
    Kenny: (No you fucking don't!)
    Cartman: Oh, it's so easy for you, isn't it Kenny. I've had to become poor all on my own, you know? I wasn't born poor with a plastic spoon in my mouth.
    Kenny: (... WHAT?!)
  • Cartman insulting Danica Patrick and NASCAR since he firmly believes that NASCAR drivers are "poor and stupid" (which he probably associates with truck drivers).
  • Cartman wrecking Danica before the race even starts. Anybody who even remotely knows about NASCAR had to get a chuckle out of this.

It's a Jersey Thing

Coon 2: Hindsight

  • The Coon's protest against his fellow teammates kicking him out of his base.
    The Coon: You can't kick me out of Coon and Friends, I'm the FUCKING COON!

Mysterion Rises

  • Before Mysterion is killed by the Necronomicon cultists, we cut to Cartman riding Cthulhu to a parody of the My Neighbor Totoro end theme.
  • Even before the theme song parody, there's a scene where Cartman befriends Cthulhu that a shot for a shot parody of the scene where Mei first meets the large Totoro.

Coon vs. Coon & Friends

  • Following up from the previous episode is a parody of Feed the Kitty.
  • In the conclusion of the Mysterion/Coon saga, Mintberry Crunch turns out to be a Lethal Joke Character, with actual superpowers that he uses to drag Cthulhu back into his own dimension. Followed by the Coon: "Fucking Mintberry, Fucking Crunch." Which probably reflected at least some audience members' reaction to The Reveal, all while Bradley is revealed to have actual superpowers, Mysterion is looking back and forth between him and Bradley's real father like, "Seriously?"
    • To top it off, before Mintberry Crunch sets off to his home planet of Kokujon, he decides to take a detour to his Earth home and brag to Henrietta about how he actually has real superpowers, Flipping the Bird at her all the while.
    Mintberry Crunch: F@#* YOU! I HAVE POWERS YOU FAT BITCH!
  • Mysterion abruptly committing suicide at the end, being tired and knowing he'll just wake up in bed the next day with no one remembering his death.

Crème Fraiche

  • The Shakeweight. It exists. Really.
  • This little bit:
    Randy: I wasn't watching food channels!
    Sharon: Then how do you know I blocked them?
    Randy: I know 'cause...I don't know that! That's what I'm saying! Gaw.
  • Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman come up with a plan to get Randy to stop trying to make it as a chef: Disguise Cartman as Gordon Ramsay to criticize Randy's cooking in order to get him to stop. His impression, and Stan and Randy's reactions, are hysterical:
    Kyle: [as he and Kenny lead Stan into the school music/drama room] We really think this is gonna work, Stan. All we have to do is convince your dad that his cooking sucks, right?
    Stan: He's not going to listen to us, we already tried!
    Kyle: He won't listen to us, but he will listen to... Gordon Ramsay!
    [the view shifts to reveal Cartman standing on stilts, wearing adult-sized chef's clothes with rubber gloves at the end of the sleeves and a blond wig]
    Cartman: [in a voice that aims for Ramsay's accent... and lands instead in What the Hell Is That Accent?] Oy! Be-be-be-be-be-be-be!
    Stan: ...That's stupid, Cartman.
    Kyle: [as he and Kenny move to either side of Cartman] He does kind of look like him, dude, and Kenny thinks Cartman's Gordon Ramsay impersonation is really good!
    Kenny: (Yeah, it's really good!)
    Kyle: Let's hear it, Cartman!
    Cartman: [as before] Riiight! Simple, rustic, yeah? Wake up! Jesus! Fuck me! You're not a fucking chef! Hey, right, good, yeah? Make a nice, simple, beef Wellington. You're fucking taking the piss, yeah? Fuck me! You can't cook!
    Stan: ...You guys, my dad is retarded, but he's not that retarded.
    Randy: [entering] Hey Stan, have you seen my- OH MY GOD, IT'S GORDON RAMSAY! [he backpedals out of the room; Stan follows him] Stan! Do you know who that is in there? That's the Gordon Ramsay!
    Stan: ...Uh, yeah, Dad, he'd like to talk to you.
    Randy: Talk to me?! Oh, Jesus!...
  • As soon as the boys' plan is launched, Bobby Flay suddenly enters the school cafeteria, genuinely believing that Cartman is Gordon Ramsay, moments before many other celebrity chefs suddenly make their appearance in a School Cafeteria Food Throwdown.
    Kyle: Can I just get some goddamn tater tots?

    Season 15 
HUMANCENTiPAD

Royal Pudding

  • Mr. Mackey holds a school play about oral hygiene. The funny part? He's absolutely NUTS trying to get the kindergartners participating in the play (and Kyle, who has to play the role of Tooth Decay because his little brother Ike, who originally had the role, left to drive the main plot about the Princess of Canada being kidnapped) to get it right, constantly berating the kids for the littlest mistakes (i.e. Kyle being flat). The kicker comes when he tells them that his father was taken away by Tooth Decay, who just moments later would be revealed not only to be an actual monster, but THE kidnapper of the Princess of Canada (who apparently had poor dental hygiene).
    • Mackey sitting in the front row, gritting his teeth and positively shaking with fury at the performance.
  • "You're a dick, Scott! You've always been a dick! And then you got radiation poisoning in Ottawa and now you're a giant dick!" And as it turns out, he's only a few inches taller than the tallest person in the group that was confronting him.
  • "FEE! FI! FO! FUM! I SMELL KRAFT DINNAH!
  • "STOP BEING A DICK, SCOTT!!"
  • The Canadian royal wedding ceremony in general, both before the princess was abducted and after Ike rescued her, with the parts after her rescue quickly devolving into an Aristocrats skit.
    "Very special day for Canada, very special day for the world. And there's the Queen herself, sitting in the front row." *fft* "...She just queefed."
  • Ike in the tooth decay costume bawling over the princess' abduction. It Makes Sense in Context.
  • "...Whaaaaaat?!"

T.M.I.

  • As Randy, Cartman, and a bunch of other angry people hold a Federal Express hostage.
    Reporter: Does it bother you that the Federal Express is not affiliated at all with the Federal Government?
    (Beat)
    Randy: No! No, that doesn't matter! (turns to the others) FUCK! Really?!
  • Additionally, Cartman's Unstoppable Rage at the beginning of the episode. "I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL EVERYBODY!!!!!"
  • He ends up in Principal Victoria's office after he puts the boys' actual penis sizes, and then she tells him this happened because he gets angry about stuff he doesn't think, and has an anger problem. "FUCK YOU! No I don't!" Gilligan Cut to him in the psychiatrist's office. And this line during that same scene.
    Cartman: I don't care if Obama IS president. You don't go around, putting little boys on blast, telling the whole world the lengths of their DICKS!!!
  • Wayne D. Just Wayne D. "My shit be packing, MAN!"
  • Butters trying to coax his penis out ("Where you goin', little feller?").
  • In the end, the national average for penis size is changed so the angry protestors can be appeased...except even on the new scale, Cartman still has a micropenis.

Crack Baby Athletic Association

  • Kyle scaring Butters when he spies on him, Cartman, Craig and Clyde. That Freak Out and Cartman's "Aw crap" nail it.
  • Cartman showing up at the dean of Colorado University's office dressed as a 19th-century Southern slave owner and talking in an upper-class Southern accent.
    Cartman: (admiring a picture of the local basketball team) You have some mighty strong-lookin' workers here, sahr. Ah'd be willin' to offer you 40 dollars for two of the white ones and 50 for the blacks!
    Dean: Are you referring to our Student Athletes?
    Cartman: "Stoo-dent Ath-o-leets"? Hoho, that is brilliant, sahr! Now, when we sell their likeness for video games, how do we get around payin' for our slave— Uh, "Stoodent Atholeets" then?
    Dean: Look, there are good reasons why our Student Athletes cannot be paid, young man!
    Cartman: Ah ain't arguin'! If they got paid, then how'd we make all our money, right?
  • Kyle breaking into Stan's bedroom in the middle of the night to explain how he's actually helping the crack babies. Stan barely even reacts.
  • Craig and Clyde finding out the truth about how Slash is able to play so many gigs seemingly at the same time: It's because he's a Santa-like mythical character, based the Dutch legend of "Vunter Slaush":
    Cartman: But then, who played at my eighth birthday party?
    Clyde: One of our parents.
    Cartman: But then... who was the guitar player for Guns n' Roses?
    Clyde: One of our parents!
  • When both kids call Clyde's dad to confirm the truth:
    Mr. Donovan: Clyde, the truth is, Slash isn't a person; he's more like a feeling in your heart, you know?
    Clyde: (to Craig) Slash isn't real.
    Craig: Get outta here.
  • Meta-example: The real Slash's response to the episode on Twitter
    Slash: I'm not......real? : (

City Sushi

  • The whole episode is the best the series has seen in years, and is a great followup to the episode where Butters is "confused."
  • Tuong Lu Kim's reaction when he discovers that the City Sushi restaurant is right next to his restaurant:
    Tuong Lu Kim: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
    • Happens again when he sees the sign for "Little Tokyo".

You're Getting Old

  • Randy's trying to get into Tween Wave. Since he's an adult, it sounds like shit to him and he starts thinking that the musicians actually shit to the beat and when he decides to be a Tween Wave star, he actually shits into the microphone.
  • Which leads into those two farmers trying to protect Randy's underwear.
    • The fact they are entirely removed from the plot and seem to want to protect them for no particular reason, not to mention showing up in two particularly dramatic scenes just seems to make them all the more funnier.
  • No offense to Bob Dylan, but the part where the crap sounds play along to a parody of one of his songs is funny as hell.
  • The movie trailers Stan sees when the boys are at the theater.
    • "Rated ARG for pirates! Fuck you!"

Ass Burgers

Last of the Meheecans

  • After watching a news report about Latin Americans trying to get back into Mexico:
    Randy: Well I think it's good. If the Mexican people feel inspired, good for them! People have a right to go and be happy. *steps outside the house and sees that the driveway and paths are buried under leaves* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
  • Craig of all people responds to the revelation that Butters is missing with the quip, "Butters is one of those people who you can never remember if he was there or not."
  • "You've heard of Mexican tacos, but Mexican pride?" That and Butters' song, "Work, Mexican, Work."

Bass To Mouth

Broadway Bro Down

  • Pretty much all of Broadway Bro Down but "especially" the combination Stinger / Shameless Plug for The Book of Mormon.
  • The very plot thread of this episode is also hilarious: Broadway musicals intentionally hide subliminal messages to make married women give blowjobs to their men. It Makes Just As Much Sense In Context, but that's exactly where the humor comes from.
  • Randy and Stephen Sondheim's "Bro-Down," which is mostly them strutting around like roosters and making ineffectual threats. Especially funny to Broadway buffs who know how Sondheim actually acts.

1%

The Poor Kid

  • This little gem:
    Cartman: "Your mom is so poor, she can't even pay attention!"
    • This one too:
    Cartman: "My mom is so poor, that when she gets mad she can't afford to fly off the handle so she's got to Greyhound off the handle."
  • Cartman's immediate reaction to knowing who the poor kid is in his new school:
    Principal: "A 20-minute song and dance number with 47 "yo mama's so poor" jokes directed at Jacob Hallory, which ended in a finale with fireworks."
  • "My mom is so poor, she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioniiiing..."
  • The soft room. You know, the room they have set aside for kids to feel safe. That is filled with paintings of creepy clowns. Even Cartman has a distinctly uncomfortable look on his face while he's in it, glancing around.
  • "My name. Is not. Kyeel."
    • "That's kewl! Whatever, Kyeel! Must be nice having everything you want!"
  • "My name. Is not. Miem."
  • The Gainax Ending: A reptilian bird previously mentioned by Mr. Weatherhead shows up and eats Kenny out of nowhere. Instead of invoking the usual "They killed Kenny. You bastards!" schtick, Stan has the far more realistic reaction of a shocked "What the fuck?".

Previous

Index

Next

  • Show Spoilers
  • Night Vision
  • Sticky Header
  • Wide Load

Important Links

Ask The Tropers Trope Finder Media Finder Trope Launch Pad Tech Wishlist Reviews Go Ad Free!
Crucial Browsing
Resources
Top