Funny / Sonic Destruction

This script was written almost entirely by AI Dungeon, with only occasional input from Penny. This leads to a lot of moments where characters act Out of Character, camera directions seem largely pointless, and the text is filled with various Non Sequiturs encompassing both the narration and dialogue. It's a sight to behold, for sure, and great if you're a fan of Corpsing.

Episode One

• One of the earliest scenes involves Sonic, Tails and Knuckles standing in front of either a billboard depicting a hole in the Earth or an actual giant hole in the ground, with a caption at the bottom (yes, somehow at the bottom of the hole as well) saying "The End Of The World?". Sonic is less than helpful.
  Sonic: Uh, you guys hear about this?
  • This is soon followed by the script briefly misspelling Sonic's name as Sonc.
• The fact that the script specifically mentions that there are exactly 1008 robots located inside the "Gunhold", whatever that is. The gang then jokes that Eggman made so many specifically to bully people who don't own air fryers, culminating in...
  Eggman: "Looks gay." Clearly, you don't own an air fryer.
  Tails: How did you know I didn't own an air fryer?
  Eggman: Because you just told me, fox boy!
• When Sonic looks at Tails "puzzled", the cast imagines him letting out Tim Allen's signature grunt.
• What exactly is Dr. Eggman's relationship with Gerald Robotnik? At first, Gerald appears to be his father, but eventually Gerald starts repeatedly referring to him as the father. It's theorized that he's gone senile and is hallucinating his own father being there, and Dyvone's delivery sells it.
• Eggman informally adresses Gerald as "Dad", which gets a lot of laughs out of the cast.
  Alfred: I want to let it be known that, when we saw this lineup, Dyvone immediately went, "I'm gonna be your dad."
  Dyvone: [as Gerald] "I told you to call me 'Daddy' when we're at work, son."
• The Bizarre Alien Biology of the Ultimate Lifeform leads to the reveal that Sonic himself is somehow just as weird: Apparently, Sonic has two heads, a Prehensile Tail, and a gem lodged in his throat. The Lifeform (which is apparently not Shadow), meanwhile, has a lizard tail "instead of a second head", and the gem is stuck in his chest instead.
• The narrator, Robby, notices how frequently the word "large" is used to describe things, leading him to put a Beat before and after every single use of the word from that point.
• Sonic, Tails and Knuckles decide to start wearing disguises. They're basically just leather jackets. Knuckles' is even color-coded. At one point, Sonic hands his jacket to Tails, making him wear two at once.
• Penny's confusion over what "bat-like wings" means.
  Penny: This has fucking haunted me for the past week. What do you mean by bat-like? Do you mean they are like bat wings, or do you mean the wings individually are shaped like entire bats?
• The general lack of willingness from anyone to actually do anything to solve their problems, from hoping that other people are taking care of it to just insisting that everything's fine.
  Knuckles: Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you'd be in the city helping the others.
  Rouge: They don't need my help.
  Knuckles: Is ANYONE in the city helping the others?
• In Shadow and Silver's introductory scene, the narration describes Shadow's outfit in great detail, but all it has to say about Silver is that he's wearing a hoodie.
  Robby: Shadow walking out there with like the coolest heat, and Silver? Dripless.
• Shadow and Silver discuss the reason Silver is even in the city. He says it's to see a friend.
  Shadow: Is it a girl?
  Silver looks at Shadow with a mix of revulsion and confusion.
  • After the reveal that said friend is actually a robot...
    Shadow: I don't know why you're friends with me.
• Occasionally, characters randomly appear unprompted without any introduction. Princess Elise does this once, but the main culprit is typically Knuckles. They joke that the camera pans slightly over to reveal that said characters were just off-frame the entire time.
• "Shadow looks up at Shadow."
• When Shadow is crying over how he failed to save an unnamed female character (likely Maria), Sonic tries to reassure him. How does Shadow react?
  Shadow punches him in the face.
• This exchange:
  Sonic: Shadow. Listen.
  Shadow: What?
  Sonic: Let's get back to what's important.
  Shadow: What do you mean?
  Sonic points to Shadow. Sonic points to the woods. Sonic points to himself.
  • After some confusion and cackling from the rest of the cast...
    Red: "Look at the woods, now back to me, now back to the woods, now back to me."
• Sonic and Amy get into an argument about Sonic leaving her in the woods alone at night. He attempts to gaslight his way out of it, only for Knuckles to show up abruptly. Scout ad-libs the following:
  Scout: [as Knuckles] You know what? Unlike you Sonic, I had been with Amy all night, you fucking asshole.
• Sonic and Shadow have a conversation in Sonic's hotel room. Shadow asks him to sit down in a bathtub.
  Ryan: [as Shadow] You fucking smelly.
  • It turns out that Shadow wanted to talk about Princess Elise being evil. Things quickly (though temporarily) derail.
    Shadow: I'm telling you, she's evil. You know how we always talk about things and analyze them to find the truth about them?
    Sonic: [confused] No?
    Shadow: Yeah, you know what I mean.
    Sonic: No. What're you even talking about?
    Shadow: We dig deeper than what's on the surface.
    Sonic: You lost me.
  • When Shadow tries to convince Sonic that Princess Elise is evil and has been controlling him, he asks when the last time Sonic got a haircut was to prove his point. This is soon followed by...
    Shadow: Do you have a favorite food?
    Sonic: Yes. Chili dogs.
    Shadow: Have you ever had one?
    Sonic: Shadow, get the fuck out of my room.
• Knuckles presents a list of people who can help them save the city. It starts normal at first, but almost immediately descends into Mind Screw.
  Espio the Chameleon
  Big the Cat
  Captain William Buckaneer
  Chip
  Sergeant "O"
  Ivor the Engine
  Professor Uma "Moebius" Fargod
  Lucas the Flaming Centipede
  Espio the Chameleon is a character from the Sonic comics.
  Big the Cat is a character from the Sonic Adventure games.
• Sonic has Tourette syndrome. His tic is just the phrase "Let's get going boys and girls."
• This exchange:
  Robot 1: What is our next order, Sir?
  Eggman: Continue patrolling.
  Sonic: How's it going, Eggman?
  Eggman: [ad-libbed] How the fuck did you get in here?
  • At one point, Sonic briefly contemplates destroying the world.
    Eggman: So, you're here to stop me from taking over the world... and you're threatening to destroy the planet?
    Sonic: Don't you see how unreasonable you're being?
• "Sonic is putting out massive Nagito vibes."
• The destruction of the city is revealed to be caused by Princess Elise riding a mechanical dragon. She's also gone completely off the rails, more than likely due to excessive drug use, and later accuses Shadow of causing the carnage.
  Elise: Steroids, steroids, does whatever a spider can! [entire cast begins Corpsing]
• Mayor Jason King is met by a council of five people in masks. Apparently, among their members are Tails, Knuckles, and "obviously Eggman".
  Jason: I don't understand. How did you guys do it?
  Eggman: That's not important, Mayor King. What is important is that we did it. We saved the city.
  • Penny imagines that the council just put a bunch of posters in front of the windows to hide the carnage from the mayor.
    Red: I think this is just allegory for how Texas is about COVID.
• The Mayor yells at Eggman for failing to protect the city, complaining that he's not supposed to be destroying it. His response?
  Eggman: Don't you think I know that, you fuck?
• Tails's muffled "This is bullshit!" comes right out of left-field, especially given that up to this point, Mar has portrayed him as very soft-spoken.
• Amy learns how to gaslight and immediately tries it on hard mode by entering a room and trying to convince everyone that they entered the room and she got there first.
• At one point, Red reads ahead slightly and becomes horrified when they realize what they have to read, including a Big "NO!". Everyone demands that Red say the line, complete with shouting and peer pressure. Said line?
  Silver: We're in grave danger! The killer is [suddenly deadpan] among us.
• At the end of Episode 1 is possibly the best twist in the entire video: Sonic is revealed to have survived his Heroic Sacrifice... but has been transformed into a human.

Episode Two

• "Oh my God, you can't just ask someone why they're a human man."
• Thanks to how the script is structured, a lot of cast members just start reading out their script directions in their characters' voices. It happened in the first episode, but gets dialed up here.
• The genuine confusion in Alfred's voice as the script has him read out "What the fuck?" when the opening fight scene starts.
• Sonic the Human just beating the absolute shit out of the Mayor at the beginning of the episode, to the increasing horror of the cast.
  Knuckles: Sonic, stop! You've made your point!
  [Sonic doesn't stop.]
• At one point, Sonic snarls at the mayor. Ryan's dog just starts barking at something in the background.
  Ryan: I can't believe my fucking dog has better comedic timing than I ever will!
• Shadow casually mentioning that his "user" knew how to play the piano, much to the cast's confusion.
  Dyvone: Is this like fucking ReBoot, what is this?
  Robbie: I gotta say are we at fucking Rude Mountain right now?
• Elise ends up kissing a Hedgehog in this universe as well, this time being Shadow. It's enough to make Sophie (who voices Elise) actually, audibly gag.
• Shadow expresses discomfort from receiving a kiss from Elise. The reason?
  Shadow: I dunno, Because... We're not married?
  • The cast immediately jumps to calling Shadow a Mormon.
    Ryan: [as Shadow] You must live by my one mantra. No ringy, no dingy.
• Vector gives Shadow a rather unusual call for back-up in case of an emergency.
  Vector: If anything happens, break the window of his car- [breaks down into laughter]
  Alfred: [as Vector] Rob him blind!
  Mar: [as Vector] Rob him blind! Take care of his stuff, if you get what I'm saying!
  Red: [as Vector] The signal is: Set fire to his house!
  • Shadow then immediately asks what to do if he needs backup, which the cast interprets as him becoming too giddy at the possibility of breaking a car window to listen to the rest of Vector's statement.
• Team Chaotix is a deep-state surveillance organization in this universe, complete with satellites, drones, and invisible satellites.
  Mar: [as Vector] Turns out I was Big Brother the whole time!
  • "We put tracking chips into everybody with the Coronavirus vaccine!"
  • According to Vector, the only way to tell if the satellites are invisible is to "Just look for the guy in the tight suit and sunglasses walking around."
  • This gets called back to when Vector casually mentions Sonic being on a bench in Station Square, despite having no way of knowing he'd be at a bench at that moment.
• When Charmy enters, Holly initially voices him with an unusually deep and sexy voice. This catches the rest of the cast off guard, but turns out to be a Bait-and-Switch as Holly uses a more fitting high pitched voice for the rest of the reading.
  "Charmy": Hey, everyone. It's me, Charmy Bee.
  Holly: That's not the fucking voice I'm doing.
• Charmy is apparently short for Charlemagne. After this realization, Shadow just verbally eviscerates him.
  Shadow: You're not smart enough to do any of the stuff that requires a brain.
• This scene in the Mayor's office.
  Tails: So, did you bring it?
  Silver: I've got it right here.
  [Silver takes out a black cube with glowing buttons on it.]
  Tails: What—what is that?
  Silver: A PlaySta—[everyone else starts corpsing along with Red]
  Ryan: You know, a PlayStation 2? Black cube with glowing buttons on it!
  • Believe it or not, the bit about Shadow's "user" gets payoff when Silver has a copy of the Shadow the Hedgehog video game and announces that ''he is Shadow the Hedgehog''.
  • This line:
    Knuckles: This game... it's non-fiction. You're playing Shadow's life!
  • Immediately after Silver says "I'm Shadow the Hedgehog," we cut to Shadow, who says the exact same thing for absolutely no reason to absolutely no one. Even funnier given the later reveal that Shadow's not really Shadow, which brings it into Suspiciously Specific Denial.
• Later, Knuckles tries to get Silver to explain how he and Shadow are supposed to be the same person. Silver then goes on a massive tangent about his Dark and Troubled Past that leaves the cast's jaws dropped with how long it is, with Knuckles getting more impatient as it goes on... only for Silver to stop with "I don't want to talk about it."
  • Said backstory involves Silver being royalty of Soleanna, along with the reveal that his father the king's name is Gerald. And then the king and queen of another country (that Silver was visiting on a school field trip for some reason) die by being trapped inside of a meteor crashing into the Earth. And Silver owns a hoverboard. But the important thing is that Silver didn't get in trouble for any of it.
    • Ryan eventually comes to the conclusion that Elise had to marry into the royal family to become a princess, and therefore had to kiss yet another hedgehog.
      Red: She can't keep getting away with this!
• During the mission given to him by Vector, Shadow manages to find his target, who turns out to be Gerald.
  Shadow: Liar. Why did you lie?
  Penny: [as Shadow] Don't you know lying is against the Lord's plan?
• As Vector calls Shadow back, the latter thinks about what to do to the doctors. The script writes out a button prompt. The predictable choice wins out.
  Penny: Alright alright, everybody. I think we're getting the results in. Uh, seems to be C, kill them.
  [The entire cast starts cheering.]
  • Sadly, Shadow never gets to kill them because Vector has to remind him that he needs to leave.
• This exchange that leads to the cast deciding Gerald is a skeptic YouTuber and getting distracted rambling off pseudo-intellectualisms:
  [Gerald smiles as if he just won an argument.]
  Gerald: I'm so smart.
  • "Come now, Shadow, if women are oppressed, then why Simon?"
• Sonic the Human has his own Emo Peter Parker moment after taking control of the destroyed city. He dyes his hair an obnoxious shade of red and starts smoking cigarettes.
  "Sonic is turning into Shadow!"
  "He saw a bunch of preps and he put up his middle finger at them."
• As it turns out, Sonic has a communicator that also connects to Chaotix. Vector calls the wrong number, but refuses to accept that he called the wrong number.
  Vector: Shadow. Why aren't you at the base!
  Sonic: Not Shadow! You got the wrong number. Screw off!
  Vector: [in denial] Actually, I don't think I have.
  • "WHY IS SONIC ON THE SAME LINE AS THE VILLAIN LINE!?"
• Poor Amy still can't read. Despite the fact that a sign has large, fancy letters, Amy still needs help understanding what it says.
  Robby: The two walk towards the wreckage of the train station. On their way, they pass another bench with a plaque on it. The plaque reads Daedalus in large fancy letters.
  Amy: What does that say?
  Robby: Daedalus in large fancy letters.
  • And it also turns out she might be a ghost. Her way of saying this before she moves on is "I have to leave now", as if she were a small child going to Chuck E. Cheese. And then after she walks away, Sonic still hears her voice from really far away. This leads to the gang coming to the conclusion that anything can be made funnier when you say it really far away from the mic.
    DollipDaze: I love it because it has the energy of when you get too far from an NPC that's expositioning...
    Red: Or like when you think you're done with a conversation with someone and you walk away but they keep talking...
• Eggman and Tails develop a machine with an unknown purpose that they have to connect to their heads. Eggman attempts to reassure Knuckles.
  Eggman: Don't worry, it's perfectly safe.
  Knuckles: I wasn't worried.
  Eggman: You were thinking it.
  Knuckles: Nope.
  • Turns out Silver is the one who starts panicking. Tails joins in the reassurance... or at least attempts to.
  Silver: What if this doesn't work?
  Eggman: It'll work!
  Silver: But what if it doesn't?
  Tails: It will work!
  Silver: Can you at least give us a percentage on whether or not it will work?
  Tails: No!
  • And it turns out they have every right to worry as they wind up being unceremoniously knocked out cold until the very end, with half of them seeming to get amnesia from the ordeal.
• Rouge's grand return to the story starts with her seemingly lying about reading through the book of prophecies.
  Rouge: Daedalus.
  Shadow: So you went and read it then?
  Rouge: You know damn well I did. [Beat] What's this?
  • Except it turns out she did read it and calls out Shadow for lying about the contents of the book, making the last point really confusing.
• After asking if the others know about The Harbingers, Shadow explains that they were a cult that worshiped Dark Gaia. When Rouge asks for further elaboration, Shadow says "I dunno, that's all it says."
• Rouge goes on an exposition dump that feels just like Penny wrote it, and her purpose eventually becomes to try and keep the story on track. After explaining how Sonic "beat the shit out of Jason King"...
  Shadow: And you let him get away with that?
  Rouge: He's the fastest thing in existence, he's not getting caught by a bunch of fucks like us.
  Vector: [sighs] Damn kids today, getting' all the powers.
• The cast reading the following exchange, then immediately cracking up as Penny says that was all the AI, everyone agreeing it honestly sounds like something they'd make up.
  Vector: What if he's got some sort of magical protection?
  Charmy: What if he's got a lot of magical protection?
  Rouge: What if he's got all the magical protection? I swear to god, I will not be the one to fall to some mage.
• Shadow accidentally reveals his identity as Daedalus. His response?
  Shadow: [turns away before stopping] Shit.
• There's a good bit of Black Comedy when the mention of child soldiers comes up.
  "Stop Shadow 2012."
  "I saw Shadow on the holograms killing younglings."
• The conversation between Gerald and the Mayor certainly goes places. Government conspiracies, video games, Satan, it's enough to make Hideo Kojima blush.
  • Special mention has to go to the aforementioned part about Satan: The Daedalus Initiative was a plan to make an anthropomorphic hedgehog who's an incarnation of Satan. Dyvone can't get through that last part without bursting into laughter.
• Gerald brings up that the Shadow the Hedgehog video game is considered in-universe to be an incredibly embarrassing state secret, in a way that reads suspiciously like the AI is trying to diss the actual game.
• When the Mayor wakes up Silver after The Reveal regarding his origins, we get this exchange.
  Silver: Hey, dipshit.
  Jason: Hello, devil.
• The script tends to take the fact that most of the characters are talking animals a bit too seriously, as when Knuckles and Tails get a blast of Laser-Guided Amnesia from the machine Eggman and Tails built, after the pair ask each other what they're doing they just devolve into barking Angrish and don't say another word for the rest of the episode. Eggman attempts to comfort them as if they're just regular animals.
  Eggman: [to Tails] What's wrong, little one?
  Tails: [attempts to speak, but ends up growling at Knuckles in anger]
  Eggman: [to Knuckles] And you, big guy?
  Knuckles: [barks at Tails, trying to provoke him]
  • And when that doesn't work...
    Eggman: Yeah, they're fucked.