Funny / Schmigadoon!

• In the third episode, "Cross That Bridge", Danny and Melissa's night together sends him spiralling (in song, of course), as he believes that they are going to have a child (riffing "Soliloquy" from Carousel). Melissa explains multiple times that she's not pregnant and has an IUD in, which culminates in this gem. Even after Melissa leaves, he's still coming up with synonyms for stealing.
  Danny (singing): And so from this day forward I vow/I'm gonna get me some money/Someway, somehow—
  Melissa: I paid a colleague to insert a copper, T-shaped device in my uterus to prevent the implantation—
  Danny (singing): I gotta get some money/And there's no way to make it—
  Melissa: Forget it.
  Danny (singing): So I'm gonna have to steal it/Or even take it—
  Melissa: Those are the same thing.
  Danny (singing): Or filch it, or pilfer it, or rob it or swipe it/Or nick it, or thieve it/Or finagle it or abscond with it...
• Vagina is where the penis goes!
• It turns out Melissa has lived her entire adult life thinking the expression "dog eat dog world" is actually "doggy-dog world" as "dogs don't eat dogs, it makes no sense!"
• The Countess's solo "I Always, Always Never Get My Man" is a hoot from start to finish, but the real kicker comes when, as she's preparing to abandon Melissa by the side of the road and Melissa accuses her of being a subtextual Nazi, she replies, "Of course I'm a Nazi," and drives off without another word.
• In season 2's "Famous As Hell," the Narrator suffers a musical Rhetorical Question Blunder with Melissa—when he tries again with Josh, Josh asks if that question is also rhetorical. The look on the Narrator's face as he sings "Another damn rhetorical question!" is just gold.
• Melissa is dumbfounded that Josh honestly didn't realize Jenny was Betsy with a black hairdo.
  Melissa: How are men in charge of anything?
• Melissa is appalled at Bobby's low charge for working for the bad guy.
  Melissa: Ten dollars? Girl, be corrupt but have some pride!