Funny / Pro and Noob

Only on RageGaming do we see a literal dragon simping for a mermaid streamer.

General

• It's always fun when Josh forgets how to speak.
  Josh: That's woddle, that's waddle, that's ax, axolotl, that's a… waddle… fucking… duck.
  Cotton: That's a waddle!

Monster Hunter World

Base World

• During the official Deviljho quest, they try to escape Deviljho through the hollow log in the Ancient Forest. This is the result.
  Josh: He can’t fit through there...
  [Deviljho destroys the log.]
  Cotton: I don’t think he needs to fit through there.
  Josh: Well, he can’t close distances—
  [Deviljho lobs a boulder at them]
  Cotton: (cracking up) I don’t think he needs to close distances.
  Josh: I’M GONNA STOP SPEAKING NOW. I’M JUST GONNA STOP SAYING THINGS.
• When fighting Tempered Deviljho in the Elder's Recess, while dressed as schoolgirls...
  Josh: Oh, I've always wanted to do this. [shoryukens Cotton off a cliff toward Jho] Go fight the dinosaur!
  Cotton: WHUUUUUUH! If I die, I swear to God...!
• Extreme Behemoth turns a single video into a Sadist Show.
  • When about to sign up for the quest, Josh doesn't even want to.
    Josh: (after reading the quest description) ...and then in brackets, "EXTREMELY DIFFICULT," in all red. (as Cotton cracks up) It's like at that point, just, no, love, honestly, put the quest book down, I've... I'VE CHANGED MY MIND! I'm just gonna walk away from that hot mess. Really, he can have the Recess, who gives a—
    [Cut to Dodogama's intro scene, as David Guetta's "Don't Leave Me Alone" plays]
    Josh: —Dodo. NOOOOOO—
  • The start of the fight firmly establishes that This Is Gonna Suck for our heroes.
    Josh: So I'll be honest here, how hard can he actually hit? Like, how hard could it be? How hard could it fucking be? Come on, hit me! HIT ME!
    [Josh gets pegged by Meteor... it doesn't do much damage, but he misses the Defense Down icon popping up.]
    Josh: THAT'S PATHETIC! I was expecting more, you pansy. Extreme my ass, extreme boredom!
    Hagrid: I shouldn'ta said that.
    [Cuts back to "Cotton has fainted," followed by "You have fainted," all while "Die Die Die" plays, and the Quake announcer yells out "FIRST BLOOD! DOUBLE KILL!"]
    Hagrid: I should NOT have said that.
    Josh: Look... what's important is, we got a feel for the initial part of the fight.
• Josh’s stuttering gets really noticeable in the Elder’s Recess armor roulette, eventually reaching a point where even his Lampshade Hanging of the speech problem suffers from it.

  Josh: WHY CAN’T I SPEAK in intermittent intevinte... intevintebles?

  Cotton: Intermittent Indivisibles!

  • This is then followed by a Voice Clip Song, and ends with an explosion cutting to “INTERMITTENT INDIVISIBLES, COMING SOON TO ASTERA.”

Iceborne

• When they meet Shara Ishvalda they have the typical rap intro that other elder dragons have. However since it's covered in rocks at the beginning it's all muffled.
  Josh: I can't...I...I can't...I...I can't tell what you're...what you're saying.
• Brute Tigrex:
  • Josh’s attempt at suspenseful buildup is completely ruined by a pair of wingdrakes suddenly swooping at him and Cotton from behind. While they recover from the sudden attack and kill the offending wingdrake...
    Josh: The other one just flew away and left his friend to die!
• During the double Odogaron arena quest, Cotton... inexplicably just stands still while Ebony Odogaron completely ignores him in favor of mauling Josh. While waiting for Ebony to notice him, he stands in place, for minutes on end, describing the boulder-drop lever in excruciating detail. It Makes Just as Much Sense in Context, and it just keeps going and going until Josh dies from repeated Ebony Odogaron claws to the face.
• Any Time Josh uses a weapon that isn't a greatsword, expect great things. Case in point: when fighting Velkhana in the arena with a long sword he manages to use up all nine faints with Cotton not fainting once.
• During the episode where Josh and Cotton fight Arch-Tempered Namielle without wearing any armor, Josh tries to Clutch Claw Namielle, only for her to stomp forward and knock him off. Josh’s reaction:
  Josh: Stop— every time I attach, you do your little, “Unh, I’m gonna go FORWARD”.

Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate

Cotton reactions

• The entire series begins with Cotton poorly describing Great Maccao.
  Cotton: It's like Pukei had sex with Kulu-ya-Ku.
  (beat)
  Josh: Christ...
  Cotton: But that's what it looks like!
  Josh: Yeah no, I'm not doing this...
• Cotton often responds to a monster doing something awesome (Gravios' beam, Valstrax's rocket dash, Mizutsune's bubble status, White Fatalis' red lightning, among others) by screaming and/or cracking up. It's hilarious every time.
• A particular gem during their battle against Deadeye Yian Garuga, in a conversation that makes zero sense even in context.
  Josh: If I jumped a hundred feet in the air, you'd be like "Shit, that's impressive", but then I land and break my legs and it would be sad, so that's what happens.
  Cotton: Well my initial response would be "Wow", and then it would be "You idiot".
• Cotton's Running Gag of referring to Lao-Shan Lung as a big, old wingless Rathalos.
  Cotton (as Lao-Shan): Ahhh, my back! That's where my wings used to be when I was a young (cue Josh Corpsing) stud Rathalos getting all the Rathian women!
  Josh: HE'S NOT AN OLD! FUCKING! RATHALOS!!!
  • During their first victory against Lao-Shan Lung, Cotton completely ruins whatever buildup Josh was setting up for Fatalis.
  Josh: Aren't you excited though, by the way, at one point to meet whatever made that thing feel the need to run in terror?
  Cotton: I imagine it's just a bigger, older Rathalos!
  (cue Big "OMG!", Rage Quit and Suddenly Shouting from Josh)
  Cotton: (Laughing HARD).
  Josh: (From a distance) "WE NEED TO TALK!" THIS IS MY LINE! "YOU'VE-YOU'VE REACHED MY LINE!!"
• Easily the best is his initial reaction to the Ahtal-Nesto. As it rises up, you can actually hear him drop his controller.
  Well, he looks and me... and I look at him... and he looks at me... and I look at him! And he looks at me! And I look at hiiiim! And he says—"
  Cotton: WHAT THE FUCK!?
• Cotton roasting the Chaotic Gore Magala at the beginning and end of the episode featuring it, from poking fun at its deformities to making jokes about its swollen right wingarm.
  Josh: So what are your words?
  Cotton: Best Magala... Masturbater.
  (beat)
• Alternative Character Interpretation reaches its full zenith during the Ukanlos episode, which Cotton insisting that Ukanlos is not only a nice guy who shovels snow for a living but is also an amazing father to Dodogama, raising him well and supporting him in his pursuit of the opposing element.
  Josh: Are you gonna start calling him "daddy"?
  Cotton: Yes.
• Cotton is wholly let down by Fatalis.
• Cotton's reaction to the Khezu, which consists of him laughing at it for a solid minute while Josh feebly attempts to claim that it's supposed to be scary.
• The Zamtrios. Cotton is amazed at its base and ice-armored form, but wasn't expecting its other transformation.
  Cotton: (Zamtrios inflates into a giant ball.) WHAT!?

Silly Weapons Showcase

• When Cotton shows off the Kut-Ku Pair in the Lagiacrus episode, it very quickly descends into Dead Baby Comedy.
  Josh: So you slaughtered two baby Kut-Ku, took their bone, grafted it to their heads, then ripped off their feet, stuck it to the bone, so you can have both weapon and ornament.
  Cotton: Yes. And I ate the bodies.
  Josh: OH MY GOD! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
  Cotton: I WASTE NOTHING!
• The best one has to be during the Furious Rajang episode, where Cotton shows him the Sharq Lance, causing Josh to completely lose his shit, almost choking from laughter. Made better by the fact that Josh Didn't See That Coming.
  Cotton: I think the best part about this weapon is how efficient it is. Because the "No Swim Sign" there was because of the Sharq. I removed the Sharq, so obviously they don't need the sign anymore, therefore I took the sign and made it the shield.
• This gem at the beginning of the Raging Brachydios episode:
  Josh: Reveal to m—
  (Cotton shows him the Tigrex Light Bowgun, a miniature tank, which causes him to drop his controller and flip out in pure disbelief)

General Shenanigans

• Josh's crush towards the Brachydios ^note As well as a few more monsters, such as Malfestio and Akantor among others, further into the series which would make Sophia the Guildmarm from 4 Ultimate proud.
• Josh almost never plays with his HUD on. When they meet Thunderlord Zinogre, Josh gets comboed by the big wolf, unable to escape. When he finally gets a moment to blink, he asks what happened to his stamina and flicks his HUD on... and he's a mosquito bite away from death.
• At one point during the Raging Brachydios episode, Josh asks a Khezu how to defeat Raging Brachydios, and Khezu sheds a light on the above-mentioned HUD situation:
  Khezu: Turn your UI on.
• Cotton's terrified noises during the battle against Hellblade Glavenus.
  Josh: Seriously though, what the fuck are those noises he's making?
• On the star of this episode:
  Josh: So this is the Furious Rajang.
  Cotton: A-as opposed to what, sorry?
  Josh: DAAAAAAAAAHAHAas opposed to the Mildly Ticked-Off Rajang of normal!
  Cotton: [as both of them start laughing] Mildly-Annoyed Rajang!
  Josh: The Frustrated-at-Best Rajang, that we’ve come to know and love!
  • Later during the episode, Josh bails on Cotton and leaves the zone for a moment to heal.
  Josh: ...MEANWHILE! [reading the chat box] “I’ll set a trap!”
  [Cotton screams, and the faint message appears]
  Josh: [cracking up, then speaking as Rajang] The fuck you will!
• "HELLBLADE IS NOT OKAY": When Josh first describes Hellblade Glavenus (while they're in the middle of fighting it, mind), we get a Cutaway Gag showing the first few seconds of the "This is Fine" animated [adult swim] ID (based on the famously memetic comic from Gunshow) with the Glavenus' tail blade spliced in.
  Cotton: (after getting hit by Hellblade's explosion) WHAT THE FUCK?!
  Josh: YES!
  Cotton: WHY?!
  Josh: I DON'T KNOW! Some cruel bastard decided that this was okay!
  Cotton: Well, they're wrong!
  Josh: They ARE wrong!
• While fighting Alatreon, Josh explains that the stock of the situation is that they're out of healing and carts, and that the plan is as follows: Step one, avoid the black dragon. Step two, attack the black dragon. Step three, keep hitting the black dragon. Step four, avoid getting hit, thus reinforcing step one. Step five, kill the black dragon. Step six, head back to the Pub and wait for all this to blow over. While that summary alone is funny enough, Cotton reminds him that they do need to carve the black dragon, which Josh hastily makes step six... via going through the entire plan again, including the new step. Cotton does it two more times, with steps completely unrelated to the fight with Alatreon.
  • This gets an amazing payoff much later in the episode. Much like Brachy, Josh offhandedly mentions making love to him.
    Cotton: What step is that?
    Josh: [cracking up, before going through the whole plan again] ...step five, kill the black dragon. Step six, make love to him...
    Cotton: Uh, you know you said "killing him" was step five, right?
    Josh: I KNOW WHAT I SAID, MOTHERFUCKER!
• During the EX Grimclaw Tigrex episode:
  • Throughout the whole episode, Josh is the butt of all jokes. General shenanigans include:
    • Josh’s Running Gag of getting scared by the Grimclaw’s steam explosions.
    Josh: STEAM!
    • Josh’s other Running Gag of failing to stagger Grimclaw with timed charge shots during its charging attacks. Josh is audibly peeved by the third time this happens.
    • Josh tries to look cool by using a Farcaster in front of the rampaging Grimclaw, but he fainted right before teleporting to Base Camp. As a result, Josh drops his controller, and Cotton starts wheezing in laughter.
    • And finally, at the very end of the whole fight, Josh tries to unleash a fully-charged slash to finish off the mighty Grimclaw once and for all... only for Cotton to hit it with a weak blow and kill it right before the charged slash connected. Josh’s reaction is priceless.
    • Also, Cotton claims that they finished the mission in exactly 10:00 minutes.

Monster Hunter Stories

• Cotton's narration of the intro.

  Cotton: Long ago in ancient times... ['Capcom presents' appears on the screen] CAPCOM PRESENTS!

• Pretty much anything related to Dan and his slaying of innocent Aptonoth.
• Blighted EX Tigrex Episode:
  • In the intro, Josh is admiring the ecosystem while riding on top of his Congalala, and then Cotton suddenly chimes in, stereotyping the Congalala by saying, "pppbbtt".
  • At one point, Josh hatches a baby Nargacuga, and their reactions are what you would expect. When they go to name it, Cotton suggests naming it "Red Eyes Black Dragon", and Josh agrees. After they put in the name, however, it comes out as "Red Eyes Bla". Hilarity Ensues.
  • Josh and Cotton go through quite a few shenanigans throughout the fight with the Blighted EX Tigrex.
  • While fighting a wild Congalala dubbed "The Fetid Stink", they bring in Ratha, use the Sky-High Dive Kinship Skill, and right before the wild Congalala lands on the ground, the game freezes for a short second. The way the sounds are edited in that clip is very funny.
    • This happens again in Stories 2... but with Fatalis.

Stories 2: Wings of Ruin

• This clip shows Cotton being a very politely aggressive Canadian

Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate

• Cotton is blown away by Rust Duramboros, the subspecies of his favorite monster.

Monster Hunter Rise

• Monster Racing!
  • During the intro, Cotton makes a big show of getting cut in half by Josh’s great sword and requests an ambulance. Cue the title card... and then Cotton’s character peeking out from under it to talk.
    Cotton: Is an ambulance in Monster Hunter just... a Lance charging with “ambu” on its shield?
    Josh: I don’t like that you interrupted the cool, epic, like... MONSTER PVP title for that...
    Cotton: It’s an important question.
    Josh: I’m gonna put it back on the screen now.
    Cotton: Okay.
    Josh: [puts the title screen down for a few moments, then raises it again] The answer’s no, by the way.
• Cotton struggles to believe that humans fall for Somnacanth's mermaid act... so they instead theorize that it lures other monsters. This comes to a head in Wind Serpent Ibushi’s rampage, where they imagine Ibushi simping for Somnacanth as a streamer, pictured at the top of this page.

Monster Hunter Frontier

• EXTREME CRIMSON FATALIS PAIN: At one point, during the Extreme Crimson Fatalis battle, Josh takes an attack that brings him to just a sliver of health. The moment he gets up, "Heat resistance expired!" and he faints.

Other Games

Lost Ark

• From the first episode:
  • Josh and Cotton are rambling as normal, with both of them in the camera... when an old woman suddenly photobombs in front of them.
    Cotton: That’s quite the insect glaive.. DAMMIT WOMAN, GO AWAY!
    Josh: [through laughter] CAN WE HELP YOU, LADY? Like, honestly!
    [the woman walks away while sad music plays]
    Josh: [as both of them crack up] Aww, she just sadly shuffled off!
  • Josh criticizes an NPC’s outfit.
    Josh: And look at how she’s dressed, like a wannabe pirate attention-seeking whore.
    Cotton: Wow.
    Josh: I say, with the world’s shortest skirt on.
  • Josh and Cotton run into the boss of a quest.
    Cotton: Oh shit, this dude’s orange! [immediately starts attacking] Whoa, he’s got a lot of health!
    Josh: [while laughing] It’s, like, “this dude’s orange! FOR THAT HE MUST DIE.”

Dauntless

• "Being on fire is a state of mind."
• Josh gets surprised by the adds of Boreus.
  Josh: THIS IS A CHUNKY BABY! WHY IS THIS BABY A BALL!?

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

• Bewear! If you go down in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise...

One Offs

• Pretty much the entirety of Totally Reliable Delivery Service
  • Eventually after multiple failures they decide the best way to deliver parcels is to leap off a helicopter and slam dunk them into the catchment area. amazingly they get their only gold trophy this way.
  • Cotton's summary of the game
    Cotton: This game is essentially 'ADHD: the game'.
• Fight Crab:
  • During the first battle, Josh and Cotton find crabs with weapons, and Josh tells Cotton to get the knife that one had dropped.
    Cotton: So I didn’t get the knife. However... [flies in with a jet engine that another enemy had dropped and rocket-punches the current target]