Funny / MacGyver (2016)

Season 1

Awl

• The faulty translator used in Malaysia, which serves as a Take That! to anyone trying to use autotranslators. When Jack and Mac heard the strange translation of sucking at the end without any further explanation, they look at each other with a nervous face.
• Ralph in the entire episode. He's even funny when he wakes up from being shot.
  Ralph: (Slightly dazed after waking up from being unconscious) Is that my blood?
  (Ralph sees his blood sucked out of his body via wiper tube)
• The Running Gag that Jack thinks Ralph has a punch-face (somebody who looks like a total cheeseball wuss) and wants to deck him. He's extremely annoyed when Mac ends up beating him to it.

Wire Cutter

• Mac tracks down Alexander Orlov, a former Russian nuclear scientist who has since defected and is living in anonymity in a nursing home. Orlov immediately makes his getaway with a series of improvised tricks, causing Riley to refer to him as "an old you."
• Later, Orlov reunites with his former handler, who is now apparently the most heavily-armed Uber driver in North America. Levkin draws a gun, Jack disarms him. Repeat three times.
• Levkin and Jack bond over being the Cloudcuckoolander's Minder for their respective super-geniuses, driving home both the not so different and Like an Old Married Couple aspects of their relationships:
  Levkin: It is like a marriage. All these little things, they are cute at first... [points at Mac, who is unconsciously clicking a ball-point pen]
  Jack: What? That? I like that. It's how I know he's thinking.
  Levkin: [knowing smirk] Talk to me in forty years.

Toothpick

• The introduction of the episode starts with the location title of "LISBON, PORTUGAL". The next location title is simply "LOOOOOOONG STAKEOUT".

Wrench

• In the climax, Jack is trapped on a pressure switch detonator, and starts talking about who gets to inherit what of his stuff if he doesn't make it. Riley tries to get him to stop talking like that as he's in the process of leaving her his car, then she pauses and says "Wait a minute. Did you just say Shelby Cobra?"

Corkscrew

• In an effort to keep Mac safe (and to keep him from escaping), Thornton locks him in an empty safe room. He escapes anyway.
  Mac: I don't even get a chair?
  Thornton: No. You'd turn it into a cannon or something.
  Mac: That's ridiculous. I'd need propellant to make a cannon.
• While under fire from Murdoc and pinned behind behind cover with Jack and Bozer, Mac has Bozer pour out some wine bottles. While Mac's inner monologue explains that he's building a model rocket, Bozer takes a second to chug from one of the bottles.

Chisel

• Riley's Deadpan Snarker reply when Thornton was asking for a status update.
  Riley: Welp, this is my first embassy siege, and I'd say not great.
• Riley tells Jack that the ambassador was checking him out. When he went to see her for more details, Riley shows her the family portrait of the ambassador and her husband with her daughter.
• Mac breaks the sculpture given by the Latvian government to the American ambassador - so he can use it as ammunition for the homemade cannons he's building. He realizes what he did and says he won't tell if she won't tell.

Magnifying Glass

• Jack punches the prototype android in the R&D lab once it stood up, getting freaked out and reminding Mac that the robots will rise up. He gets reminded that his hands hurt because he punched it.

Flashlight

• The intro quote starts with PARADISE. And then it follows with ...NOT TODAY.

Compass

• When Mac and Jack find out that Frankie faked her death, Jack sighed and said that he can't wait to hear her story.
• Mac and Jack are helping Mac's MIT classmate Frankie try to identify a murderer from a blood sample found under a victim's fingernails. Matty reports that the victim was found outside after a week and it had rained so the sample is quite degraded. Jack's response?
  Jack: Blah blah blah, boring CSI mumbo jumbo.

Cigar Cutter

• The intro quote starts with CAIRO. And then it follows with ...FINALLY.
• Later on in the episode, Mac makes a trek into a godforsaken mountainous tundra to dump the contents of the supervirus to oblivion. The follow-up quote reads TEMPERATURE: FRICKIN' COLD.

Season 2

DIY or Die

• The intro quote starts with SOMEWHERE IN SYRIA. Followed by ...NOT THE FOUR SEASONS.
• Which is followed by PHOENIX FOUNDATION with MOST PEOPLE THINK IT'S JUST A THINK TANK.
• Bozer's android acting like a drunk frat boy.

Muscle Car + Paper Clips

• The intro quote starts with SOMEWHERE OVER SOUTH KOREA. Followed by BAD GUY AIRLINES.^note Stock footage of a C-5 is used.

Roulette Wheel + Wire

• Bozer accidentally walking into the infirmary when Jack is getting his frostbite treated... while wearing nothing but a hospital gown.
  Bozer: My eyes!
• After everyone else on the team gets aliases and cover stories worthy of James Bond enemies, Jack gets stuck with disgraced accountant Ernie Bung. Matty then reveals the only other alias was a chef who got arrested for selling illegal bushmeat.

Skull + Electromagnet

• All episode long, Jack is freaking out about the team doing a mission in the Bermuda Triangle. He finds himself confronted by the baddie at gunpoint...who finds her gun flying out of her hand and into the wall and herself levitated into the air and slammed back (thanks to Mac whipping up a super electro-magnet). Jack crosses himself and falls to his knees.
  Jack: Oh great and powerful spirits of the Triangle...Thank you for protecting me...I don't know why in your infinite wisdom, you decided I was worthy...

Jet Engine + Pickup Truck

• The opening quote is SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE as Jack and Mac (dressed, for some reason, in what look like carnival costumes) burst into an attic.
  Jack: Why'd you lead us in here?
  Mac: I was following you!
• Mac whips up a device that can create a mini-laser that can be used to cut through the wall. Jack is instantly filled with glee that, after all these years, Mac had finally created a lightsaber.
• Jack refusing to surrender one of his P30 pistols, which leads to this conversation:
  Mac: I need your weapon.
  Jack: Am I going to get it back?
  Mac: Yeah. Absolutely.
  Jack: At least look me in the eye if you're gonna lie to me.
  Mac: (Mac stares at Jack)
  Jack: Yeah, okay. That's better.

Duct Tape + Jack

• Jack is upset over his apartment broken into and losing such treasured items as a painting of Telly Savalas. The cops are more interested in what's left of Jack's extensive collection of combat swords, a sniper rifle and claymore mines.

Packing Peanuts + Fire

• The subtitles says PHOENIX FOUNDATION LAB aka THE DORK DORM.
• Later it shows the US CLANDESTINE SERVICES TRAINING ACADEMY. And later on, it says LOCATION: WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW?

War Room + Ship

• The episode start with SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE OF LOS ANGELES. A GOOD PLACE TO CLEAR YOUR HEAD.
  • Even better when it becomes apparent that Jack is not alone on this headclearing drive.
  • Later, when Mac and Jack discuss the situation:
  Jack: Hey, you won't tell Riley about this, will you? Because she told me to stay away from [Elwood], and I sorta...
  Mac: Kidnapped him?
  Jack: Yeah. [Leaves]
  Mac: One messed up wolf pack...
• Followed by EMPTY HOUSE. VERY EASY TO BREAK IN.
  • Mac decides to use the force of gravity after Jack suggest to use The Force from Star Wars.

Bullet + Pen

• The episode starts with Mac dressed as Santa and Jack dressed as Rudolph, trying to get a man that they'd stuffed into Santa's sack out of an apartment building. No explanation is given as to who the man in the sack is or why they're doing this.
• PF busts into a suspect's house and the caption has EVEN DRUG DEALERS HAVE MORTGAGES.

Mac + Jack

• The flashbacks to how Jack and Mac first met with the line PRE BROMANCE over shots of Jack pummeling Mac on the ground.
  Jack: You never, ever touch Jack's stuff.
  Mac: And you never, ever refer to yourself in the third person again, who does that?
• The gang set up a communicator into the house to hear Jack singing "Can't Touch This."
  Bozer: I don't think he can hear us.
  Maddie: Are you sure? It is Jack.
• The gang are racing across Los Angeles to find some bombs against high profile targets. Jack insists they check on who he thinks would be a top choice for any terrorist: Bruce Willis.
  Jack: Hey, if I'm a bomb-flavored nutbar hatching a terrorist plot, taking out John McClane would be at the top of my to-do list.
• Back in Afghanistan, Jack claims that he's Mr. Careful. Later on, he steps on a pressure plate that sets an IED ready to blow up.
• Maddie wants someone to call the power company and have the neighborhood power shut off in ten minutes.
  Bozer: I can do it in two. I just need a wet towel, a broomstick and a ladder. What, you think this is the first time Mac has asked me to blow all the power to the neighborhood? Please.
  • We then see him with a burned off towel on a broomstick amid the darkened street.

CO2 Sensor + Tree Branch

• The opening of the gang trying to get a detonator away from...a monkey. Who somehow managed to arm the bomb on his own.
• The fact Jack is using Phoenix Foundation resources to...look up the info of his high school rival.
• JACK'S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION...EVERYONE IS SUCKING IN THEIR GUT.
• Maddie warning Jack his cover is a tile salesman and not to "divulge classified intel just to woo some divorcee!"
• Jack asks the gang if Maddie knows about all the company time and money they've spent on their drone for the competition. Maddie then calls, demanding to know where Mac and the others are, because they need to get going. She later threatens to fire everyone on the drone team if they lose the competition again.
• Bozer asks if it's weird to be annoyed this hacker who wanted to attack the Pentagon "didn't hack our drone instead." The rest of the gang agree it does hurt a bit.
• A beautiful Brick Joke: A young couple are checking into a honeymoon suite at a lavish South American resort...only to find it's been trashed by the monkey from Batman Cold Open wielding the Swiss Army Knife Mac had given him.

Mardi Gras Beads + Chair

• Jack stops a date stone cold when his date dares to not know who Bruce Willis is.
• The ridiculous photo for Jack's alias of "Duke" featuring him in open Hawaiian shirt and nutty grin.
• Maddie states that Jack's cover was so expensive that the Pentagon wanted to create "Operation Budget Cuts" as a cover for "killing" Him off.
• Dalton's After Action Report from his time in New Orleans◊.
• Jack's reaction to the ending, in its entirety.

Murdoc + Handcuffs

• Murdoc is rather blase about someone trying to kill him.
  Mac: Friend of yours?
  Murdoc: Come on, you both know I don't have any friends.
• Mac asks who else would want Murdoc dead.
  Murdoc: Pull up a chair, boys, this may take a while.
• Murdoc is asked why his own mentor, Helman, wants to kill him.
  Murdoc: I can think of two possible reasons. One, I stiffed him on a bill in a diner in Lisbon so I still owe him $13.57 cents. Two, I murdered his wife in front of him. Probably the second one.
  Mac: Yeah, that's probably a safe bet.
• Murdoc drives the duo crazy with various road games and even doing "are we there yet?"
• The reactions of everyone to finding out Murdoc's real first name is...Dennis.

Hammock + Balcony

• We open on Mac and Jack trying to get out of a cell where Jack is stuck in an opening. The subtitles are SOMEWHERE IN TEHRAN....WHERE JACK REALLY SHOULDA SKIPPED ON THE BIG LUNCH.
• Jack talks Riley's dad, Ellwood, and techie Jill into breaking into Maddie's house. He insists the latter help despite how he keeps forgetting her name.
  Jack: You owe me. You dislocated my shoulder.
  Jill: You asked me to!
  Jack: And a true friend would have said no.
• Jack tries to get them to help with a big analogy of Robin Hood.
  Jack: Come on, all for one, one for all!
  Jill: You think he knows that's...
  Elwood: Shhh, don't tell him.
• We see Jack and Elwood breaking into MATTIE WEBBER'S HOUSE. THESE TWO ARE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE.

Bear Trap + Mob Boss

• Mac and Jack are chasing a guy while wearing leaf-covered outfits. SOMEWHERE IN THE UKRAINE. NO, THIS IS NOT A FASHION FAUX PAS.
• Entering Chernobyl, the gang are thrown to find a "clubhouse" set up by a bunch of kids who film stunts and use the place as a hangout...ignoring it's in the middle of the most infamous nuclear plant meltdown in history.
  Jack: Millennials are so weird.
  Mac: I'm a millennial.
  Jack: Yeah, that's my point.

Benjamin Franklin + Grey Duffle

• Jack using his pistols to shoot at balloons tied to a trampoline while at 10K feet over Europe.
• Also there's the subtitles LONE TREE, COLORADO. APPARENTLY, THERE'S MORE THAN ONE TREE.
• Followed by LIMA, PERU. A BEAUTIFUL CITY TO COUNTERFEIT FROM.

Skyscraper - Power

• With Mac and Jack chasing bad guys in a skyscraper that's lost power, you better believe the Die Hard jokes come thick and fast.
  • When Jack points out the resemblance, Mac agrees that yes, it's cool, but they should probably act like professionals... before suggesting they do John McClane proud.
  • Their next scene opens with Mac's McClane impression, which Jack compliments.
  • At the end, Bozer pretends to have never seen Die Hard, just to mess with Jack.
• Mac being heckled by the kid he's rescuing.

Wind + Water

• The opening has Mac and Riley are breaking into a pie shop in SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE KANSAS CITY. THESE TWO ARE NOT HERE FOR THE PIE.
• Riley helps Mac cope by doing a great impression of Jack wanting to just shoot the guys and relax.
  Riley: If we get out of here, you need to talk to someone about your co-dependency issues.

UFO + Area 51

• Jack miserably failing to squeeze himself into a race car door.
• At first, Jack doesn't want to leave at all. The minute Mac tells him something from space crashed in the Arizona desert, Jack is ready to go.
• And when he gets there, Maddie tells him he's not on the mission as she knows putting Jack on this and putting up with his countless alien movie/TV references is too much to handle.

Season 3

Improvise

• Bozer's one line after he saw Leanna kick ass.
  Bozer: I want you to have my children.
• The location subtitle ENTERING BELARUSIAN AIRSPACE. THE NOT SO FRIENDLY SKIES (These show up while the PF plane is being attacked by AAA artillery).

Bravo Lead + Loyalty + Friendship

• Leanna, Riley and Bozer are dubbed "Teen Titans", and Bozer is named the Beast Boy of the group. He asks if that's bad, and Maddie tells him that it doesn't mean bad, just annoying.
• The location subtitle for Bogota has the following... A GREAT PLACE TO PRETEND TO BE A TOURIST.
• When Mac shows up behind Dalton, it scared the heck out of him that he compares him to Maddie.
• When Mac starts to ask about the Jell-o incident, Dalton and his ex-Delta Force comrades tell him not to ask about it.
  • Dalton is also nervous asking Judy to get her consent of getting her husband away from the house. And since he can't tell her that it's a unsanctioned rescue mission in Honduras, Dalton mentions that they're going on a male-bonding trip.
• KANSA CITY, KS. YOU'RE NOT IN OZ ANYMORE.
  • When a civilian yells at Sid for not doing his school crossing guard duty, the big man glares at him. Terrified, the civilian decides to shut up.
• Honduras being described as NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN.

Dia de Muertos + Sicarios + Family

• Jack trying to Jump Scare Mac by sneaking up in his Halloween costume. Mac doesn't blink, identifying Jack easily from his choice of costume: no one else would go for "Freddy/Jason mashup."
  • Jack counting off the horror films for his proposed movie night, on his Freddy Kreuger fingers

Murdoc + MacGyver + Murdoc

• Jack calls Mac going with Murdoc The Twilight Zone.
• Mac and Murdoc hold up a bank while they check out some security footage. While Mac does that, Murdoc casually makes chitchat with the terrified bank manager.
  Murdoc: So how's your day going so far? I mean, besides this part of it, of course.
• Murdoc asks Mac if he's ever thought about "coming over to the fun side." After a hard pass, he tells Mac to let him know if he changes his mind.
  Mac: What? Speak your name three times into the bathroom mirror?
  Murdoc: Or text, whatever.
• The main premise of the plot as Mac states is the "most screwed-up child custody case ever" as he's forced to play mediator between Murdoc and his wife/mother of his child whom is just as crazy and homicidal as him if not more so.
  • Just the mind-boggling idea that Murdoc managed to meet and marry a woman just like him.
  • Murdoc and Amber's Casual Danger Dialogue during their brawl when they meet.
  Amber: This reminds me of our first date!
  Murdoc: You wore that dress, the red one! I love that dress!
  • Mac taking a moment to watch them fight, as if he rather enjoys seeing Murdoc get punched.
  • Mac is Trapped with the Therapy Session as the trio wait for the ransom call. Murdoc and Amber's pet names for each other are "Cookie" and "Cupcake".
• As the three are assembling the ransom money, Murdoc sneaks up on Mac to talk about his relationship with Amber, recounting their Meet Cute (they were both assassinating the same mark) and wondering if this whole thing could be a weird kind of second chance for them. Mac face through the whole thing screams, "I don't want to be hearing this!"

Revenge + Catacombs + Le Fantome

• The location subtitles describe Grozny as NOT A TOP TEN DESTINATION. UNLESS "WAR TORN" IS SOMETHING YOU'RE INTO.

Specimen 234 + PAPR + Outbreak

• Jack and Mac are stuck in a cage in the jungle. The subtitles identify them as BETWEEN A ROCK...AND A HARD PLACE.
• A dog is outside the cage with the keys in his mouth. Jack compares it to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. Mac just remembers that trip for how Jack somehow managed to sink a boat on the Jungle Cruise.
• Jack finds Mac, Bozer and Leanna having a "planking contest" to decide who chooses lunch. Which Leanna wins while Mac and Bozer are mocking each other.

Mac + Fallout + Jack

• Mac & Jack are on their way to Las Vegas to celebrate their "Manniversary" (the anniversary, not of their first meeting, but the time Jack stopped wanting to strangle Mac). Mac has... questions about some of Jack's plans.
  Mac: You want us to go on a roller coaster after we've hit eight buffets?
  Jack: I like a challenge.

Fence + Suitcase + Americium-241

• Bozer cannot believe Mac, a man who can create nearly any high-tech device out of any household items...cannot cook without nearly burning down the kitchen.
• Bozer struggling to climb out of the garbage bin.

K9 + Smugglers + New Recruit

• Dez's way of introducing herself to the group? Hunt down each one on their off time and slap a red "BANG" sticker on their heads. This includes breaking into Mac's house while he's showering and Leanna who was in a coffee shop restroom.
  • During their first debriefing together, Riley says she's surprised that Desi didn't try to do the same to Matilda. Desi pointed out she would have but the director actually uses counter-surveillance protocols when leaving her home. Maybe Bozer was right on the money about Jack sending someone "even crazier then him".
    Desi: Give me time, Director Webber, I'll get you too.
    Maddie: Game on.
    • And then the episode ends with Maddie slapping a "Bang" sticker on Desi.
  • There's also the look Maddie gives them and the team's embarrassment as they realize that Desi, whose job now is to keep them safe, has a point.
• It turns out there's one key difference between Dez and Jack: Dez actually understands Mac's science language thanks to her college education.
• The team track down a missing ATF dog to a house, kick down the door...and see the dog with a little girl who's already dressed it up in a boa.

Seeds + Permafrost + Feather

• The Cold Open has Mac and Dez in bed together when some armed men burst in. As soon as they leave, the two slip out from under the covers half-dressed as this was a scheme to avoid suspicion.
  Mac: Hey, it worked.
  Gunman (coming back into the room) For a minute.
  Dez: So I got naked for nothing?
  • Even funnier: We go right into the rest of the episode with no explanation of what the two were up to or how they got out of this.
• Riley is annoyed that Bozer's robotic friend claims she snores when he sleeps. It then plays audio of it where Riley sounds like a chainsaw going off.
• NORTHERN GREENLAND. THERE'S NOT MUCH GREEN HERE.
• Bozer tries to shadow Mac's dad. Emphasis on "tries."
  • He attempts to brush it off as "L.A.'s not a big town..."
  • James gives them various tips on how to really chase someone without being noticed, finishing with "next time, don't use your own car."

No-Go + High-Voltage + Rescue

• As the team track down two young backpackers who went missing on a high-risk scavenger hunt called "The No-Go Challenge" in Columbia, Mac and Desi trade Noodle Incident tales of their dumbest moves.
  • Mac starts off with something that happened when he was 22. A camel was involved.
  • Desi once lost layers of skin on her feet walking in the crater of an active volcano. But she won her bet!
  • Mac once ate a bite of a Carolina Reaper chili, and swallowed it. He was blind for two days.

Season 4

Fire+Ashes+Legacy= Phoenix

• 18 MONTHS LATER. YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT.
• The Running Gag of each member of the team introduced in a seemingly dire situation only for it to turn out to not be that serious.
  • The opening of Mac pulling his car into a parking spot and running at full speed...to get to the class he's now teaching.
  • Riley is working hard at a laptop...for the computer tech store she works at.
    • When Mac starts his pitch, he barely gets started before Riley announces "I quit!"
  • Bozer has made himself a movie mogul but agrees to help.
  • Dez looks to be on a secret mission at a club...until it turns out she's the bouncer.
• Dez complaining about such things as Mac's "obsession with '80s pop" and gurgling sounds while he sleeps.
• YE OLDE SAFE HOUSE. SOMEWHERE IN OLDE MEXICO.
• Bozer interrupting Maddie's ZEN talk by hacking into her computer presentation. And embarrassing her.
• 25 MINUTES AND ONE FACTORY STOP LATER. We heard "Diaper" too.

Red Cell+Quantum+Cold+Committed

• The sight of Russ literally going Leeroy Jenkins. He even mentions the trope by name.
  • Mac's WTF expression as he does.

Kid+Plane+Cable+Truck

• Russ hears Riley and Mac arguing about "faulty information" and "bad technology" and asks what great military campaign they're arguing about: The Battle of Endor
  Russ: Wait. Are we seriously debating this?! (Beat) The Alliance should've bribed the Hutt syndicate to start a rebellion, thus distracting the Imperial armada. Bing bang boom, Bob's your uncle, the battle's over!
  Dez: I can't reason with you people!
• After four years, the audience finally gets an answer to Celebrity Paradox surronding the concept of MacGyver; when the kid on the plane explains that he and his friends have a word for what Mac does, Bozer asks if it's MacGyver. Nope it's "Jeff it" named after a guy who does exactly what Mac does all the time.
• Mac's fear of heights rears its head just as he's about to cable over to the other plane, and Bozer mentions a Noodle Incident where a similar thing happened when he and Mac went bungee jumping, and Bozer got Mac started with a helpful shove. Russ reassures Mac that he definitely wouldn't do such a thing as they barely know each other... [shove]
• MOORPARK AIRPORT. YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO FLY HERE.
  • Followed by... GRANITE PASS AIRPORT. YOU CAN PROBABLY AFFORD TO FLY HERE.

Windmill + Acetone + Celluliod + Firing Pin

• Mac and Riley discuss her new boyfriend.
  Mac: Aubrey. What kind of name is that?
  Riley: Okay, Angus.
  Mac: That's, okay, fair.

Soccer + Desi + Merchant + Titan

• The Merchant is pure dark comedy.
  • His Cloud Cuckoolander personality is showcased early as he inspects the weapon he's commissioned.
  Merchant: I love boxes. [Beat] Was that a weird thing to say? Felt weird when I said it.
  • He and his bodyguard kill the inventor of the remote-murder device and test the device at the same time. The merchant expresses annoyance, because the bodyguard pressed the button too early and now he can't verify the range.
  Merchant: You were supposed to wait until he reached the post box! I've still got questions now, haven't I?
  • When he injects the chip into Dez and explains what will happen if she doesn't cooperate.
  Merchant: [Produces remote control] If I press this button, 150 miles away my garage door will open.
• Russ' disheveled and borderline crazy look after staying up working on Codex's communications.
  Russ: Tell me what it is you see.
  Bozer: A middle-aged British guy who maybe slept in his clothes and definitely didn't shower.
  Russ: Incorrect, and unnecessarily hurtful. [Beat] I didn't sleep.
• The gang getting a laugh out of how Dez was wearing braces in college.
• The team fake footage of Dez as a long-time soccer player.
  Bozer: I did it with my last movie with Judi Dench and a sock puppet.
• Dez happily pretends to be bad at gambling after she's told that Russ is providing the money for the op.
• Bozer calls Russ "Leroy Jenkins".

Right + Wrong + Both + Neither

• Desi makes a reference to the Kool Aid commercial when Mac plans to breach a Red Order safehouse.
  Russ: Um, the wall. Are we going under?
  Mac: We're going in Kool-Aid style.
  Desi: Oh, yeah!
• Mac gives some Moldovan locals a Rousing Speech, prompting one of them to ask, in Moldovan, "What did the blond one say?" Russ then shouts something in Moldovan and everyone cheers.
  • Moments later, when things look bleak:
  Desi: Uh, Russ, now's a good time for another motivational speech.
  Russ: How about, "We're outnumbered, outgunned, and moments away from a slaughter"?
  Desi: That one needs work.
• Mac tells Riley that he can't just bring the improvised grenade launcher back to a Best Buy when it malfunctioned.

Mac + Desi + Aubrey + Riley

• Riley appears suddenly as Mac tries to convince Desi he saw the restaurant owner being threatened at knifepoint.
  Riley: Paranoid about what?
  Mac: Where did you come from, nothing!?
• Mac and Desi try to have a "normal" date, even leaving their phones (and Mac's Swiss Army Knife) in the car. However, they've both cheated, as we see when Mac makes a periscope for some snooping, and Desi sends Russ some gloating pictures of their food.
• Mac and Desi are at the bar, ordering drinks. Mac orders a whisky while Desi has a large, fruity cocktail. They collect their drinks, turn away, and then trade glasses.
• Mac and Desi are arrested after being found with a dead body. A detective threatens to lock Mac in with a prisoner who's not wearing pants.
  Mac: If you think that scares me, [Beat] you'd be right!
• Riley's civilian boyfriend is sceptical that Mac can help when he and Riley are kidnapped.
  Aubrey: He's an engineer; what's he gonna do? Build something that's gonna get us out of trouble?
  Riley: You'd be surprised.

Code + Artemis + Nuclear + Nemesis

• Lasky's WTF reaction to Mac needing the two jetskis he saw outside to build a pump to cool down a nuclear reactor. He also needs car batteries and duct tape. Russ admits that's pretty reasonable compared to his usual.
  Lasky: The other end of the hose is connected to the Jet Ski in the water... is a sentence I never thought I'd say.
• Russ responds to being called a Debbie Downer.
  Russ: Well, I'm British. We're taught from a very early age to be disappointed.

Tesla + Bell + Edison + Mac

• Mac has to remember what he saw in Tesla's secret lab before it blew up, but has a concussion. So Mattie calls in her friend Cheryl from DARPA to give him an experimental drug that brings on a dream-like state where he can access the information.
  Mac: is it safe?
  Cheryl: [Bursts out laughing] No.
  Mattie: Cheryl, I swear to God...

Psy-Op + Cell + Merchant + Birds

• THIS INFORMATION HAS BEEN REDACTED. What's especially brilliant is the way it appears just after a drugged Mac woozily says, "where am I?" as if it's trying to answer him.
• The Merchant is back. Off his anxiety meds and (apparently) imprisoned in a Chinese black site, he turns out to be a bit of a Cloud Cuckoolander Manchild. Russ describes him as "a deranged chat-show host," while Desi prefers the descriptors, "Downton Abbey reject" and "crazy bananapants."
  • Commenting on the Institutional Apparel he and Mac are wearing:
  Merchant: Grey. It's an interesting choice. It's supposed to be psychologically oppressive. Well, I like grey, so there.
  • Mac "recognises" The Merchant and slams him against the wall.
  Mac: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
  Merchant: I want you to let go. Please. Clearly, you and I are in the same predicament, it's just I'm handling it a bit better. Without all the grabbing and shouting and toxic masculinity.
  • The two discuss how they got in the cell. Mac says he was abducted while tracking The Merchant.
  Merchant: Oh, were you? Well, that serves you right then, doesn't it?
  • Mac discovers an IV line in his arm, prompting The Merchant to check himself.
  Merchant: Oh, look, I've got one too. Twinsies!
  • The Merchant's panic attack is derailed when Mac shares his first name to establish trust, but probably not for the reasons Mac was hoping for. Hilarious in Hindsight when the season finale reveals that, yes, he was literally named after beef.
  Merchant: [Startled laughter] What are you trying to do, get me to laugh myself to death? That's terrible, that is! What, they named you after beef?
  • Mac tries to get a clearer picture of their surroundings by using the cell's toilet bucket as a hearing trumpet. The Merchant expresses amazement, so Mac starts explaining the physics, but...
  Merchant: No, it's incredibly unhygienic. Your face is pressed right up against that container of wee. [Beat] Eurgh.
  • The Merchant has clearly had words with a therapist at some point.
  Merchant: [Criminally insane]'s a simple word simple people use when they can't grasp the complexities of the human pyche. "Sociopath," that's another one. Like, everybody calm down. Stop trying to label me!
  • The Merchant demonstrates his Genre Savviness when Mac pockets the needle he pulled out of his arm.
  Merchant: I know who you are! You're that bloke that makes things out of things, right? You're like, "I've got a toothbrush, I've got some bubble gum, some duct tape and some ear wax, and hey presto, I've just built an aeroplane!"
• After realising he's on a set, The Merchant's comedy changes from "chaotic and scared" to "sardonic with dangerous undercurrent."
  • A Phoenix agent posing as a guard questions The Merchant while Mac is taken away. The Merchant points out a small flaw in his questioning methods.
  Guard: [Shouts questions in Mandarin]
  Merchant: Thing is, I haven't learned Mandarin since the last time you were here, so I haven't any idea what you're talking about!
  • The idea that someone, probably Russ, decided to have a guy shout questions at The Merchant in a language he doesn't understand, presumably for shits and giggles.
  • After stealing a stun gun for an escape plan, The Merchant decides to have a little fun with it.
  Merchant: Anyhoo, got you a little gift, didn't I? Saw it in the window, and I thought of you. [Pretends to hand it to Mac, sets it off instead, almost zapping him] Bloody hell, it works! Shocking. Alright, this time. [Same again] Oooh, watch out, watch out! It's sensitive! [Beat] Well, this is a charged moment, isn't it?
  Mac: [Death Glare]
  Merchant: Sorry, I couldn't resist. You're no fun at all.
• Bozer going full diva director on the prison set.
  Bozer: I need a reset on the rat. Who's got the rat food? And Riley, I need that weather imaging yesterday.
• During the How We Got Here, Bozer refers to the basement where the cell set is to be set up as "where we play laser tag and defuse bombs."
  • 48 HOURS... AND ONE CRAZY CON EARLIER.
  Desi: I'm sorry The Merchant's bodyguard stabbed you in the neck before I could take her out with a tranq dart.
  Mac: That's something you don't hear every day.

Loyalty + Family + Rogue + Hellfire

• TOP SECRET PHOENIX FOUNDATION RESEARCH FACILITY. NOT WHERE WE KEEP THE ALIENS.

Save + The + Dam + World

• 1990. A MAGICAL TIME BEFORE SELFIES.
• It's revealed how Mac was named. He was born in a car parked at the side of the road, in front of an ad for Angus beef.
• When the photo of the Hart Senate Building is shown, the subtitle were shown as ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE HERE WANTS TO BE PRESIDENT.

Season 5

"Resort + Desi + Riley + Window Cleaner + Witness"

• Mac, Russ, Desi and Riley are forced to work together in order to clear the air between them after the CODEX case was solved. Hilarity ensues.
• One of the bribes given to a POI in custody was to make him talk with food that has caviar on it.
• Desi and Riley infiltrating Zurich with the latter playing it over with being shot.
• 12 HOURS EARLIER. AND MINUS THE BULLET HOLES.

Thief + Painting + Auction + Viro-486 + Justice

• The flashback to Dez taking ballet as a little girl... ending with her punching another girl in the face.
  • Which gives Mac the idea of using electric wires to help Desi pratice infiltrating the laser sensors. And Mac is told he's going to lose a chance to date Desi.

"Eclipse + USMC-1856707 + Step Potential + Chain Lock + Ma".

• FEDERAL CORRECTIONS INSTITUTE... VICTORVILLE, CA. MAXIMUM SECURITY, MINIMUN FUN.
• When Desi asks the correctional offier why the prisoner is not restrained, the officer shrugs.

"Jack + Kinematics + Safe Cracker + MgKNO3 + GTO"

• ZAGREB, CROATIA. JACK LOVED THE STRUDEL.
• INTERPOL. FOR SECURITY REASONS, WE'LL JUST SAY IT'S ONE OF THESE OLD BUILDINGS.
• Russ leading the team in a Toast for Jack, only to have to stop Bozer and Desi from trying to empty their glasses on the jet’s carpet.
  Bozer and Desi: [Simultaneously] It’s for the homie.
  Russ: What?! No! [Takes Bozer’s glass]

"Quarantine + N95 + Landline + Telescope + Social Distance"

• The Running Gag for Mac to do backseat driving and Desi getting mad.
• The conversation Mac and Bozer has on jacking a SUV.
  Bozer: Can you hotwire this thing?
  Mac: Uh, honestly, the truth is, it'd be easier to find the keys. Anything built after 2000 is pretty much im...
  Riley: He's right. Cars are just computers on wheels.

"Golden Lancehead + Venom + Pole Vault + Blood + Baggage"

• EUCALYPTUS HILLS, CALIFORNIA. NOT AS NICE AS IT SOUNDS.

"SOS + Hazmat + Ultrasound + Frequency + Malihini"

• LJUBLJANA, SLOVENIA. WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY IT EITHER.
• Jerry Ortega showing up in PF HQ after he was detained.
  Russ: I've never said this during an interrogation before but please stop talking.
  • He and Bozer bond over their hostility after Sparky and AI.
• Mac and Desi grab equipment from a hospital room...where a woman is getting a sonogram. Mac is apologetic as Desi offers congratulations while the nurse and pregnant woman clearly have no clue what is happening.

"Rails + Pitons + Pulley + Pipe + Salt"

• KAZAKHSTAN. BORAT'S HOME SWEET HOME.
• Russ not believing that Mac can make a train from farm equipment parts

"Diamond + Quake + Carbon + Comms + Tower"

• Murdoch. Anderson. Together. It's Black Comedy at its best.
  • The fact Murdoch is ready to give away Mac's plans to propose to Desi For the Evulz.
• When Bozer is curious about Russ keeping a secret, Russ points out he runs a super-spy organization and "I've lied to you, four, no five times since this morning."
  Bozer: Like when you said you liked my shirt?
  Russ: I love your shirt. Six.
• Mac has to use the diamond he created for Riley to get inside a protected window.
  Mac: (voiceover) So this isn't how I planned to get down on one knee today...

C8H7ClO + Nano-Trackers + Resistance + Maldives + Mind Games

• Desi having strange moments during her solo op in South America, which including disguising as a nun in a church and using a dirt bike while wearing a party dress with glitters.

"Royalty + Marriage + Vivaah Sanskar + Zinc + Henna"

• BIKANER, INDIA. FRANKLY, NAAN OF YOUR BUSINESS.
• DAY OF THE WEDDING. NO, THEY'RE STILL NOT MARRIED YET.
• Russ, Mac, and Desi are arrested and handcuffed by the princess's security team. The princess enters, explains the situation, and asks for them to be released. All three simultaneously stand up and throw away their cuffs; they had long since freed their own hands and were just playing along.

"Abudction + Memory + Time + Fireworks + Dispersal"

• Macgyver tells Bozer, Desi and Riley has a saferoom known as "Macgyver's Hideout". Bozer insists it should be called "Mac Cave".
• GOOD THING MS. KRENGEL JUST FILLED THE TANK.
• Russ and Bozer faking a fight as a distraction for security? Funny. Russ having an outrageous Texas accent while Bozer has a Cockney one? Hilarious.