Funny / Hololive Holostars English Mario Party Superstars

Main index
Group game streams (Minecraft | Among Us | Rust) | Non-game group streams
Japan (Original Generation [Suisei Ch.] | Gen. 1 | Gen. 2 | GAMERS | Gen. 3/Fantasy | Gen. 4 | Gen. 5 | Gen. 6/holoX)
DEV_IS | China | Indonesia
English (Gen. 1 -Myth- [Mori Calliope Ch. | Gawr Gura Ch.] | Project: HOPE | Gen. 2 -Council- [Nanashi Mumei Ch. | Hakos Baelz Ch.] | Gen. 3 -Advent-)
holostars (English | TEMPUS | ARMIS [Pummel Party | Mario Party Superstars] | WachaStars | stars*collection)
Spin-offs (Holo no Graffiti (2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023 | 2024) | Legend of Polka | Mythbreakers | hololive ERROR | Watame Did Borderline Nothing Wrong)

HQ collab (12 December 2022)

• Dez discovers the 30-turn option in the game and is bemused that the option even exists. Altare interjects and tells Dez that past games used to have 50 turns, to the bewilderment of the rest. Vesper subsequently suggests a 50-turn game, saying it would be the funniest thing ever and that the gang would be at each other's throats by the end of it.
• Axel misses half of the text explaining the game rules for the map.
• Altare shittalks Dez before the game begins.
  Altare: First is the worst, second is the best, third is the best and fourth is also the best. Screw you in particular.
• Altare spams the "Bad Luck" sticker.
• Altare plants a small Piranha Plant. Dez comments on it.
  Dez: Look at the lips on that thing...
  Most spammed chat comment: AYO
• Vesper walks into the Piranha Plant Altare just planted.
• The gang plays Honeycomb Havoc.
  • Axel does not take well to this on finding out the game's premise.
    Axel: Sounds like, sounds like...
    (dramatic pause)
    Axel: MATH!
  • Axel randomly screams "DONKEYYYYY!" during Honeycomb Havoc.
  • Dez notices that there aren't too many fruit left on the chutes. He begins to panic as he'd be the first one out.
    Dez: Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait NO NO NO WAIT!
  • Axel sabotages Dez by punching one fruit, leaving Dez to get the honeycomb no matter what he punched.
    Axel: HOW 'BOUT YOU, MAGNI?
  • Altare then sabotages Axel by punching a 1, leaving him with the next honeycomb.
    Axel: (muffled) WHAT THE FUCK MAN? Give me my star!
  • Altare sabotages Vesper by punching a 1, leaving him with the next honeycomb. Altare wins the game.
• Dez plants a small Piranha Plant. Altare rolls a 1, walking straight into the Piranha Plant and losing some coins as a result.
• The gang plays Sky Pilots. In practice, Axel tells Dez to leave controlling the plane to him... and gets hit by a cannonball.
  Axel: Yo, leave it to me, yo. I have watched Macross yo-
  (gets hit by a cannonball)
  Axel: AAAAGH!
  • Axel continues on, not understanding the mechanics of the game and ends up hitting another cannonball.
    Axel: Wait. How do I go faster and stuff? What do I click?
    Dez: No. You just- you just steer. I'm- I'm flapping the-
    (gets hit by a cannonball)
    Dez: AXEL!
  • When they actually play, Axel and Dez take advantage of Altare and Vesper getting hit by a cannonball to overtake them. They never look back and win the game.
    Axel: I should be the pilot- I should be the pilot of some mecha robot, yo.
    Most spammed chat message: AXEL SWEEP
• The gang plays Paths of Peril. Axel begins malding.
  Axel: Ahh! I hate this shit, man...
  • The gang starts the game just "to get it over with". Dez wins.
• Axel malds at Altare getting a hidden block after getting a star. He gets coins.
  Axel: (muffled) Dogshit coins...
• Axel plants a giant Piranha Plant. Dez says that this is true to form for Axel.
  Dez: That is such an Axel thing to do. I can't tell you how many times... he would try to gamble it all on... a big...
• The gang plays Crazy Cutters. Altare, Vesper and Axel begin malding at the game's premise.
  Altare: Oh no... we've got some Squid Game stuff going on here...
  Axel: WHAAA?!
  Vesper: Oh, I hate this...
  • As Axel is practicing, he is eliminated not even two seconds after he starts.
    Axel: No, what the fu- I'M ALREADY OUT?!
  • The gang makes fun of Axel's cutout of the Chain Chomp, looking like it has two mouths and comparing it to a drawing on an Etch A Sketch. Dez wins handily.
• Dez makes fun of Axel's obsession with the Boston Celtics.
• The gang plays Tipsy Tourney. Axel attempts to downplay his performances in the game while practicing. Altare wins handily.
• Altare misreads Rosalina's name.
  Altare: Rosaltare-
• Axel says something potentially suggestive.
  Axel: It's okay. I'm just like- y'know, I'm just waiting for you guys to land on my cake.
• Dez lands on a Lucky Space. Axel hopes Dez gets a mushroom and cheers. Dez actually gets a mushroom, to his dismay. Axel chimes in with this line.
  Axel: (muffled) Nice mushroom.
• Axel and Dez mald at Vesper's double 10 roll on the double dice. He gets 10 coins as a bonus... and loses them immediately to the Flower Lottery. He wins the lottery, gets some coins... and loses them immediately from Dez's small Piranha Plant. Axel wants in on the action.
  Axel: Hey, make sure to land on mine too, okay?
• The gang plays Spotlight Swim. Axel suggests the others ganging up on Vesper, with Vesper threatening to go independent.
  • They play the game. Vesper survives for ten seconds.
• Axel attempts to scare Altare by screaming into the mic as Altare learns the results of the Flower Lottery.
• Vesper lands on Axel's large Piranha Plant and loses his star to Axel. Axel is overjoyed, while Dez is shocked. Vesper jokingly states he is going independent.
  Dez: WAIT! WHAT?! IT STEALS STARS! IT STEALS STARS?!
  Vesper: Alright man, Monday's a three-person collab from here on out. Hope you guys have fun.
• The gang plays Coconut Conk. Vesper survives for about 15 seconds. Dez lampshades the fact that it seems that the game is rigged against Vesper; Axel agrees.
  Dez: Vesper's getting bullied...
  Axel: He lost his star, he's only got ten coins...
  • Altare later chimes in, stating the game actually favors the person in last. Vesper threatens to go independent; Altare counters by stating that there was fine print on his contract, which Vesper laughs off.
    Altare: Vesper, you know you saw the clause in the fine print on the contract, right?
    Vesper: Good luck finding a lawyer that will enforce that.
• Axel tells Vesper to trust him and do the lottery.
  Axel: You should trust me, Vesper. You should go do the lottery or something, right? With this luck you have in Mario Party, you can win a lottery. And if you win the lottery, I'll take like 70% of it.
• The gang plays Bill Blasters. Altare begins complaining, saying he dislikes it. The chat agrees.
  Altare: (under his breath) Ugh, I don't like this one...
  • Dez proposes to the rest to focus on Axel first as he's in the lead and after eliminating Axel, all go into a free-for-all. Axel is bemused.
  • Altare suggests to the guys to "play honorably". Dez immediately changes his tune, telling the gang to focus on Altare instead.
  • Axel is inadvertently eliminated first by Altare; he eliminates Dez about a minute later. Axel resorts to cheering on Vesper; Altare is bemused.
    Axel: (muffled) You got this, Donkey Kong.
    Altare: Why does nobody cheer for me?
    Axel: 'cause you're the leader!
  • Vesper eliminates Altare, winning the game. He is still insistent on going solo, with Altare mocking him for it and Vesper clapping back.
    Vesper: Hey, I actually won one. Okay. I'm still making my own guild though. Just saying.
    Altare: Using your ten coin profit from here? Okay. Go for it.
    Vesper: What, you think like, Mario Party currency is what runs us?!
• Axel states his intentions on wanting to live with "a bunch of cute nee-chans".
• Dez states that when he sees "sasuga",^note As expected he thinks of "sausage".
  Dez: Sausage Axel.
• The gang plays Mecha Marathon. Cue the gang writhing in pain from repeatedly mashing the A and B buttons on their controller.
  Axel: AHHHH! MY FINGERS!
  • The race between the four mechanical Shy Guys turns out to be quite intense, with the gang cheering their Shy Guys on. Altare's is the first to fall, followed by Axel. Dez wins and gloats at the gang.
    Dez: Let me tell 'ya something. You'll never beat me at that. Ever.
    Axel: Such a fuckin' tryhard.
• Axel imagines putting the stuff he doesn't want on Vesper's plate when the guys go for dinner together.
• The gang plays Night-Light Fright. Vesper and Altare mald at the game's premise.
  • Axel and Altare press their buttons too late and get sent flying by the Chain Chomp. Despite malding earlier on, Vesper wins the game.
    Dez: Vesper has rock-solid constitution. Of course he would win that.
• Dez says something which makes Vesper corpse.
  Dez: It's like, when Griffith goes to see that dude...
  Vesper: That is so not okay! That is SO INCREDIBLY NOT OKAY!
  • Axel tries to find out what happens. The gang and chat try to stop him.
• The gang plays Look Away. Vesper gets singled out again.
  • Axel finds the music catchy and headbobs to the music. Vesper loses.
• Dez safely passes through the Flower Lottery... then lands on a Bowser space. The rest, particularly Axel, are overjoyed. Dez begins malding.
  Axel: Let's fucking go! (muffled) LET'S FUCKING GO, BABY!
  Dez: What's the point?! What is the point of that?! What's the point of having a separate thing to meet Bowser if you can just meet Bowser anyways?!
  • Dez selects Bowser Revolution... and brings the other three down to meet Bowser with him. Axel, as expected, begins malding.
    Axel: Did you bring us all?! WHAT THE FUCK?!
    Dez: Yeah, not so fun now, huh?
• Vesper attempts to tell a joke... and mutes himself at the last second.
  Most spammed chat message: DO IT
• The gang plays Tackle Takedown. This time, Dez is ganged up on by the others.
  Axel: LET'S GO! Bully him! Fuckin' kill him!
  Dez: BRING IT ON!
  Altare: YEAH! You're going down, Dez.
  • Dez manages to win the game despite their efforts.
• Axel spams the "Whaaat?!" sticker.
• Altare uses his double dice blocks, saying he would roll exactly two spaces. He rolls a 14.
• Axel lands on a VS space with a 7 coin wager. They select Chip-Shot Challenge and the gang begins malding.
  Axel: Oh no. OH NO!
  Dez: Oh God! OH NO! NO! NOOOOOO!
  Axel: Yo, pops is gonna body us!
  • Axel gets a hole-in-one and begins gloating.
    Axel: Hole-in-one, baby! HOLE-IN-FUCKING-ONE, BABY!
  • Dez attempts to get a hole-in-one... and misses. Axel begins mocking him.
    Dez: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Axel: Dogshit! Dogshit! Dogshit! Woo hoo hoo! Dogshit, baby!
  • Altare gets a hole-in-one as well. Axel accuses the others of "stealing his technique".
    Axel: Y'all stealing my technique! That's not cool! I shoulda' went last!
  • Vesper messes up his shot and loses. He is quite nonchalant about it. He gets one coin as a consolation prize.
• The gang plays X-Ray Payday. Axel was hoping to get the game and is elated when it gets selected.
  Axel: X-Ray Payday sounds so fun. (X-Ray Payday is selected) Oh let's fucking go, baby.
  • Axel immediately brags about him being good at this game as it reminds him "of that Love Live! game he used to play while he was in high school".
  • The guys complain about lag spikes that occur throughout playing this game. Altare picks up the most coins and wins.
• Dez rolls a 10 and lands on Altare's giant Piranha Plant. Dez screams in agony as Altare steals a star from him.
• Altare uses his triple dice; he rolls a 1, another 1 and a 3. The others mock him for it... until he lands on an event space and plants another giant Piranha Plant.
• The gang plays Coney Island. Dez wins by a hair over the rest and comments that Vesper's ice cream looks better than the rest. Chat immediately gets into a heated discussion regarding ice cream.
• Vesper steps on Dez's giant Piranha Plant. Dez is overjoyed while chat malds at Vesper getting bullied.
• The gang plays Sneak 'n' Snore; the guys complain at the game's premise.
  • All four push the button and reverse back out. Altare accidentally presses his button when the Chain Chomp is awake, causing him to get eliminated.
  • The other three forget to hide the next time the Chain Chomp awakens and all are eliminated. Nobody wins.
• Lakitu predicts Altare would be the winner and gives him a bonus double dice. Axel swears violence. Chat immediately starts calling the game rigged.
  Axel: I'm gonna smash his fucking face in, dude. How dare he.
• Axel swears violence on Altare.
  Axel: Altare, you better stay at home today. You're gonna get hit by a fucking truck.
• Dez gets the bad seed in the Flower Lottery. The other guys mock him.
  Axel: Time to die!
  Altare: Bye Dez!
  Axel: I'll see you on the other side!
• Altare uses his custom dice block and checks the map to see the possible spaces he could land. As he does so, Axel begins to mald.
  Axel: Altare, you way too broke! You broke as shit, Altare! You ain't gonna get nowhere!
  Altare: I'm aware.
  Axel: Yeah, why don't you roll your normal dice, you broke ass?
  Altare: It's okay, it's okay, I'll take an 8. It's okay.
  Axel: And then he's not gonna win the next game, and he's not gonna get any coins...
• Axel plants another giant Piranha Plant.
  Dez: Oh my gosh, he's leaving this minefield for Vesper to traverse...
  Axel: Vesper, if you get any lower than a six, you're just like, dead...
• The gang plays Pogo-a-Go-Go. The guys gang up on Dez again. Axel and Altare are confident.
  Axel: Alright, I think I can shit on Magni.
  Altare: Alright, sweaty gamer time, guys. I lean forward. Y'know, gamer pose.
  Axel: Mhm, same. Gamer mic on, gamer mic on.
  • Altare laughs at Yoshi's (Axel) death scream. Dez wins.
• Dez's bad luck reaches its peak during Turn 17 as he not only loses all of his coins just for passing by Bowser, but lands on a Chance Time Space that he did not take into consideration while rolling his Custom Dice Block, despite assuring that it was all calculated. The result? Dez ends up rolling the blocks that force him to give one Star to Altare, who also proceeds to grab Toadette's Star and put him far ahead of everyone else with five Stars. The cacophony of Dez screaming bloody murder, Axel begging to gain the Star, Altare shouting "Get magged!" and Vesper's belly laugh has to be heard to be believed.
  Altare: You did this to yourself, you little... (Altare mutes himself) [...] It's like I said, I stuck my foot out, and he just trips me. What do I do?
• Axel and Vesper engage in a duel with a 30 coin wager; they play Vine With Me. Axel begins malding.
  Axel: NO! THIS IS SO NOT FAIR! IT'S DONKEY KONG, LITERALLY!
  • Axel continues to complain when the game starts.
    Axel: He's literally fucking Donkey Kong, bro!
  • Vesper wins the game and wins the 60 coins. Axel gives an excuse for why he lost.
    Axel: I'm fuckin' lagging, yo!
  • After the game ends... he loses his star to Axel's giant Piranha Plant.
• The gang plays River Raiders. Vesper is selected again as the one the others gang up on again. The game is rather uneventful. Chat complains about the lack of action.
• Altare checks his map and hopes he doesn't get the bad seed in the Flower Roulette. Dez immediately starts spamming "Bad Luck" stickers.
  Altare: Bad luck?! Get outta here!
  • He survives Flower Roulette, but lands on a red tile and loses 6 coins.
• The gang plays Revers-a-Bomb. The game is significantly more frantic than the previous game. Dez and Vesper win by a hair.
• Altare looks at the board again and uses a cursed dice block on himself in an attempt to land on a chance time space. He rolls a three and lands on a Bowser space. Axel and Dez celebrate.
  • Altare imitates Bowser's voice. As Axel and Dez chant for Altare to lose one star, he chooses Bowser Revolution again.
• Axel suggests Vesper to not go to parties. Vesper nonchalantly notes he had been stabbed twice in his life and refuses to elaborate. Chat goes wild.
• The gang plays Eatsa Pizza. Axel screams "Eatsa Pizza" out loud and actually gets the game. Everyone loses it. Vesper and Altare win.
• The final turn is upon the guys. Dez starts his round unremarkably by cursing his dice block and rolling a 3; he lands on a red tile and loses 6 coins.
• Vesper and Altare engage in a duel with a 42 coin wager; they play Mass Meteor. Altare questions Vesper on his efforts to start his own guild, to which Vesper has some replies.
  Altare: Vesper. How are you gonna start a new guild without any coins?
  Vesper: Like- we've been through this before! None of these- none of the currency in this game matters in real life!
  • Axel provides his own comments. Dez claps back at Axel.
    Axel: I wish it did man, shit dude...
    Dez: Really? You'd have 18 coins.
    Axel: And four properties!
    Vesper: You could get a combo at Taco Bell!
    Axel: What? A combo at a Taco Bell is more than enough to keep me alive for like five days!
  • Vesper loses to Altare and loses all his coins.
• The gang plays the final minigame, Skewer Scurry. The guys are playing against Dez, who immediately spam-selects a number of skewers. He catches them all off-guard and quickly eliminates them in two shots.
• The game is over and bonuses are calculated. Most items used goes to Dez and Altare; Dez is dismayed when he finds out Altare also gets the bonus.
  Dez: I NEED THIS I NEED THIS I NEED THIS!
  Altare: WHA?!
  (Altare gets a star as well)
  Altare: YES!
  Dez: NO NO NO NO! Are you kidding me?! C'mon!
  • Dez and Altare also tie for most Bowser spaces stepped on. Dez is elated... until he finds out Altare won the star too.
    Dez: Yes yes yes yes yes! I need one!
    (Altare gets a star as well)
    Altare: YESSSSSSS!
    Dez: WHAT?! Are you kidding?!
  • This combination of points causes Altare to win the game and is declared the Super Star.
    Altare: Doubters, pay up. Doubters, pay up.
    Dex and Axel: Boo!
    Most spammed chat message: ALTARESWEEP
• After the game's result's screen, Axel has a question.
  Axel: How do I uninstall this game, yo?
• The gang decides on a punishment: to act as Santa.
• Dez sounds very dejected by game's end.
  Dez: Thanks for watching, everybody...
  Vesper: Why are you sadder than me?!

Vanguard six-month anniversary collab (8 July 2023)

• The members of Vanguard get together for a game of Mario Party Superstars to celebrate their six-month anniversary. To start off the stream, the gang tests out their audio in the most obnoxious way possible.
  Hakka: Dude, I'm a professional streamer. I don't do that while- while before streaming, we do that while we're streaming.
• Flayon has poor audio quality as he is streaming from his phone.
  • It gets worse, with his audio getting extremely crunchy.
• The EN curse strikes again! Bettel's Nintendo Switch turns off and screws up the connection. Hakka has to resend invites to the gang again.
  Bettel: My Switch shut off and I don't know how to turn it back on!
• Hakka recounts an incident.
  Hakka: I still have like trauma because I like- I feel, you know how I felt? I felt I had Flayon in front of me, and then like a truck was about to hit him. And I was just looking at it slowly happen, but then I was like "Ooh, a penny!" and then I look at the truck and the truck just had Flayon all splattered on the front. And I was like "OH SHIT!"
• Hakka's rationale for choosing Wario.
  Hakka: You say that Rosalina is hot but Wario is hotter, so therefore I'm gonna go Wario.
• On the level select screen...
  Bettel and Flayon: BIRTHDAY CAKE!
• The gang start a 15-turn game on Horror Land.
  Bettel: I'm scared.
• Bettel opts to go to the fridge "to get another drink".
• Hakka gives a very detailed description of the dental procedures he underwent.
  Bettel: Tier 30 content!
• Shinri suggests "ASMR digging in your gums". Hakka actually does so, grossing out the others and chat... and immediately begins the game. Flayon in particular is taken quite aback.
  Flayon: You are like simultaneously sometimes the most sexiest person I know but also the most disgusting. How do you hold that title? I don't know how you do it, Hakka.
  • Hakka's response to the above quip?
    Hakka: Uh... my parents left me when I was young. And they also gave me unsupervised Internet access.
• Hakka attempts to voice act the Koopa Troopa until...
  Hakka: Now... who the fuck's skipping the dialog? I'll kill you!
  Bettel: Oh, shit. I thought it was one-sided...
• Bettel offers his explanations.
  Bettel: I was just spamming the A button. (laughs) I don't need Mario Party lore! What the fuck is this?!
• Shinri makes an attempt at a Toad voice.
  Shinri: Oh my God, no, my throat's gonna die...
• The rest request Bettel to do a Toad impression. He obliges and does an impression of a literal toad.
  Bettel: I think it's a creative decision on my part.
• The gang rolls to determine their turn order. Bettel rolls a 2.
  Bettel: NOOOOOO!
  • Hakka attempts to predict his roll. He rolls a 1, putting him in dead last.
    Hakka: I summon a 10!
    (rolls a 1)
    Hakka: FUCK!
    Shinri: Nice 10...
• Shinri rolls a 10 to start off his first turn, allowing him to stop at an item shop and gets a Double Dice. Bettel begins malding.
  Bettel: Dude what the fuck is this guy's pr-
• The gang plays Squared Away. Flayon immediately requests a truce.
  • Chaos ensues. Flayon gets squashed by Shinri.
    Flayon: I hesitated and Shinri took me.
• Bettel is wondering why he's in first after the first game.
• Shinri gets a Custom Dice Block from a lucky space.
  Shinri: You can pick a number? What?! That's cheating!
  Hakka: It's not cheating if you win.
• Hakka predicts Bettel's victory, and so does Shinri. All while Bettel lands on a lucky space and gets a Cursed Dice Block.
• Hakka rolls a 7, taking him one space before the star. He fails to notice that the space before the star was a red space.
  Hakka: NOOOOOOO!
  Flayon: Deserved.
  Shinri: Get rekt.
• The gang plays Skewer Scurry, with Hakka controlling skewers. A surprisingly high-stakes game ensues, with Shinri nearly winning only to get taken out by a skewer in the last second of the game. Hakka wins.
  • Shinri chalks his loss to him failing to notice the skewers being primed from being "too busy laughing".
  • Despite being quite excited to play Skewer Scurry, Bettel changes his tune post-minigame. Hakka calls him out for it.
    Bettel: Dude, I didn't even see the input! [...] Dude, that minigame sucked ass.
    Hakka: You liked it a couple minutes ago!
    Bettel: It was more fun when I won.
• As Shinri gets an Item Bag from another lucky space... Bettel disconnects again! It turns out his game crashed.
• Bettel thinks he's back in the game. Hakka requests him to read the names under the others he's playing against... and then he realizes.
  Hakka: Bettel, can you read the names that we have under our icon?
  Bettel: Uh, we have Wario, Birdo and Daisy.
  Hakka: That's the CPU.
  Bettel: FUCK!
• As Hakka tries to to get Bettel back into the game, with help from his viewers, Shinri's Switch disconnects!
• Bettel immediately suggests them to restart the game, because "they didn't get very far" before these issues happened. Shinri immediately vetoes the idea.
  Shinri: Wait, no! I have like multiple items there, yo!
• This conversation ensues because Shinri called Toad a mushroom.
  Hakka: How would you feel if I called you a mushroom?
  Shinri: (pause) Actually, would- I've never thought about that, like no one's ever come up to me and like "You mushroom!" and I would like "Uhh... what?"
  • They then verge into talking about mangoes...
    Hakka: They are good! But when you fucking step on them and they get like all squishy between your feet I don't like that.
    Shinri: Why would you- what?
    Hakka: Don't ask me those questions. Uh, next question?
    Shinri: Wait, is that a common occurrence to you?
  • ...and then begin questioning Hakka about his methods of picking mangoes.
    Hakka: Listen; don't judge a man because of how he picks his mangoes up. Join the fucking game.
  • Shinri imagines Hakka as using his spears as stilts while he grabs mangoes off the floor with his feet.
• Bettel rejoins the game and they resume the game from earlier. Shinri rolls an 8 and does a Koopa Troopa impression, until...
  Shinri: Anyone who lands on this space gets all the coins we're ho- wait. Why do I have to give up coins, then? I landed on this space, give me your coins! Give me 0! I'm okay with 0!
• Flayon uses his Chomp Call, to Hakka and Shinri's consternation.
  Hakka: Oh, you son of a bitch!
  Shinri: You're so mean!
• Shinri does a surfer dude impression of Toad.
• Hakka and the gang try to coerce Bettel into spending his coins. Shinri hits an emote, and...
  Hakka: SHINRI, DON'T CRASH THE GAME!
  • Bettel, having not bought anything, proceeds to the star and gets his first star.
    Bettel: Yipee!
    Hakka: THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MEEEEEEEEEEE!
    Shinri: It should've been me, not him!
• Bettel lands on the Koopa Bank.
  Bettel: Fuck you!
  • He earns back his coins after landing on a green space.
• Hakka, calling on God, rolls a 10 and gets a star, much to Shinri's grief.
  Shinri: Is there a sticker that conveys my emotions?
  • Hakka thanks his "God".
    Hakka: Eh God! (beats chest) Thank you, bro! Thank you, G!
    "God": No problem!^note Flayon with a muffled voice
• Hakka is left broke after a deposit in the Koopa Bank.
  Hakka: (gasp) This son of a bitch just left me broke? They took it all? What are you, my ex-wife?
  Bettel: What you trying to say?
• The gang plays Pushy Penguins. Bettel says a sentence which would be immortalized in TEMPUS history.
  Bettel: Oh, it's like Fall Guys!
  • Hakka inadvertently walks off the side of the map and falls into the water while trying to dodge penguins.
    Hakka: NOOOO!
  • Flayon slips off in the same way Hakka did while Shinri gets pushed off by the penguins. Bettel actually wins.
    Bettel: VICTORY FOR BETTEL!
    Flayon: Great, Gabus... great job.
    Shinri: Penguins cheated! They formed a cage around me!
• Shinri attempts to travel "a large distance" using his Double Dice Block. 41 tiles away from the star, he rolls a 17.
  Shinri: 17! Not even halfway!
  • He lands on the Koopa Bank again.
    Shinri: Welcome to the- nooooo! Oh my God, are you serious...
    Bettel: Dude, someone needs to kill this little turtle. This guy is a scam artist.
• Flayon attempts to defend the Koopa Troopa manning the Koopa Bank.
  Flayon: His name in Eric! He has a family of three! He works hard! Do you think he wants to get your fricking coins?! He doesn't! He makes them into me-
• Flayon gets an Item Bag and gets three items, to the bewilderment of Shinri and the others.
• Bettel tries his luck and lands on a red space, losing coins. Shinri tells him he has to win the next minigame to have any hope of getting the next star.
• The gang plays Speed Hockey. Pre-game, Hakka imitates a Hispanic hockey commentator.
  • Shinri makes a comment.
    Shinri: Dude, these Joy-Cons are so small in my hands...
  • Bettel and Hakka actually win thanks to a lack of coordination between Flayon and Shinri. Hakka imitates the hockey commentator again.
    Hakka: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLAZO!
• Shinri malds after his loss.
  Shinri: Pain... suffering...
• Flayon makes a comment. Hakka claps back.
  Flayon: I'd name my child after you.
  Hakka: Like you would get someone to have a child with!
• Flayon feels it is time for a "new generation of idols". Shinri has some questions.
  Shinri: Are we really the right representatives to usher in the new wave of idols?
  Flayon: Yes! We need to let people get their desires out in a healthy manner!
• Bettel rolls a 10, enough for him to get a star, but keeps getting interrupted by random occurrences. He gets his second star and cackles maniacally.
  Bettel: Dude, give me the star already! I don't need the lore!
  • He then lands on the Koopa Bank, much to his consternation.
    Bettel: NO! I don't have money, asshole!
• The gang plays Manor of Escape. And as usual...
  Bettel: This is Fall Guys! It's Fall Guys!
  • Hakka's mom messages him during the stream to "shut the fuck up".
  • Bettel performs well during the game and gloats. Flayon immediately accuses him of cheating.
    Bettel: I'm going to ensure my victory!
  • He actually wins. Flayon follows shortly after, then Shinri. Hakka fails to escape in time.
• Post-Manor of Escape, Hakka and Shinri accuse Bettel of hacking.
• Shinri rolls a 4 and proceeds to go to the "green thing". He soon realizes the "green thing" was actually the Koopa Bank space, much to his consternation...
  Shinri: Ooh! There's this green thing! Ah- oh my God, that's the green thing...
  • ...until he realizes he can cash out all of the coins deposited in the bank having landed on the square again! He has 45 coins, to which Bettel makes a remark.
    Bettel: 45 coins?! You gonna buy a house?
    Shinri: In this economy?
• Flayon uses a plunder chest on Bettel.
  Bettel: What the fuck- what the fuck is your problem?!
  • After finding out what the plunder chest does, Bettel makes the following remark.
    Bettel: Oh you took the item I would never use because I don't know how to use items.
• Hakka calls on God again to help him with out with his lucky space.
  Hakka: God? God, it's me again. Listen, listen. I am an exorcist, we are like bound by like, blood. You should like move your hand and do some silly shit here.
  (gets a skeleton key)
  Hakka: Okay he hates me.
• The gang plays a minigame; Shinri guesses the game they'd be playing is Tipsy Tourney. They actually play Tipsy Tourney.
  • Guess what Bettel does next.
    Bettel: Fall Guys! It's Fall Guys!
    Flayon: Everything's Fall Guys-
  • Shinri gloats to the others.
    Shinri: You will not be able to uncover this painting as fast as I can!
  • Bettel wins. The others are in disbelief.
    Bettel: VICTORY FOR BETTEL!
    Hakka: WHAT THE FUCK?! Why is Bettel like so good at this shit?!
  • Hakka finishes in dead last.
    Flayon: And... you're last!
• Shinri gets another star. Hakka "cries".
  Hakka: (imitates crying) That was my star!
  • The next star spawns right in front of Bettel.
    Bettel: Oh my God it's right in front of me!
    Shinri: Oh my God... noooo!
    Flayon: Your max luck is real...
• Shinri lands on a chance time space and forces Bettel to give 30 coins to him. Bettel panics throughout this entire ordeal.
  Shinri: So much for that star being right in front of you, Bettel.
  • Bettel drops out from the call in frustration. He comes back a few seconds later.
    Bettel: Hey guys, had to take a breather...
• Hoping to get the next star, Bettel predicts he would roll a 1 and then win the next minigame, allowing him to get the next star. His first prediction gets thrown out the window immediately, with Bettel rolling a 3 and passing the star.
  Bettel: FUCK!
  • Further adding insult to injury, Bettel lands on a Koopa Bank space... until he realizes he can cash out, with the amount being a meager 3 coins.
    Bettel: Do I get to meet Bowser, yet?
• As Hakka uses a Chomp Call, the gang brings up the old Bowsette meme. He then lands on a lucky space and gets another Chomp Call.
  Shinri: Seriously? Another Chomp Call?
  Hakka: Yes.
  Shinri: Everyone's got Chomp Calls.
  Bettel: I don't.
• The gang plays Mushroom Mix-Up. Bettel does his usual...
  Bettel: Fall Guys!
  • ...and proceeds to fall into the water during practice. For once, the guys actually agree with him regarding the game's similarity to some games in Fall Guys.
    Bettel: I'm dead.
  • Hakka and Shinri decide to grief Bettel. Flayon, in his attempt to grief, falls into the water.
    Bettel: Dude. Stop jumping on me. I'm going to start screaming.
  • Shinri falls in the water while attempting to grief before leaving Hakka to do the rest.
    Shinri: Chat, do you see how ungrateful he is at this free experience?
  • While still attempting to grief Bettel, Hakka plunges into the water. Bettel wins. Again.
    Bettel: VICTORY FOR BETTEL!
    Hakka: GODDAMMIT! Second place, though.
• Shinri uses a Chomp Call in the hopes of bringing the star closer to him. The game has other ideas and does the exact opposite of what he wanted.
• Flayon uses another Chomp Call, moving it back to where it was, just behind Bettel. Bettel makes a quip.
  Bettel: Pretty sure that shit's behind me.
  Hakka: It is!
  Shinri: Yeah!
  Bettel: Fuck.
• Flayon uses a skeleton key... and then proceeds to not go in the direction of the unlocked gate.
• Bettel, wanting to meet Bowser, hopes he rolls a 1. He rolls a 7 instead.
  Bettel: (in mock British accent) I wanna hit a 1 and meet my best friend Bowser!
  (rolls 7)
  Bettel: Fuck!
  Hakka: That's a weird ass-looking "1".
  • He then realizes he can buy things from the item shop. Spurning the idea of buying items, he continues on and lands on a red space.
    Bettel: I'm not really a guy that buys things... I'll pass. (lands on red space) FUCK!
• Hakka predicts him rolling a 10. He actually rolls a 10 and cackles loudly.
  Hakka: I summon a 10.
  Flayon and Shinri: 2.
  (Hakka rolls a 10)
  Shinri: Are you serious? How do you keep getting 10s? Oh my God...
• Hakka recounts him playing pranks on his teachers using eyeball-shaped jawbreakers when he was younger.
• The gang plays Piranha's Pursuit. The gang rejoices at being able to gang up on Bettel.
  • The gang can hear Hakka furiously pressing his buttons.
  • Bettel stumbles on a rock and a log and gets eaten by the Piranha plant.
    Hakka: Now you see why I was popular in college?
    Bettel: I used all my energy in the warmup!
• Shinri gets scammed by paying 3 coins for Mr. I, thinking he would be warped to the star. He instead gets chased across the map, making no ground.
  Hakka: You got scammed!
  Shinri: HOW IS THAT A WARP?! It just chased me across the map! What?! It said "warp"! Oh my God... it j- ugh... I'm so mad.
• Hakka uses a "squeezy thingy" to get his medicine into his mouth. Flayon makes a comment.
  Hakka: I'm sorry, that probably sounded very wrong and fucked up, but it was just my squeezy thingy.
  Flayon: You say a lot of things that are very wrong and fucked up.
• The gang plays Leaf Leap. A surprisingly high-stakes game occurs. Despite Bettel falling twice, he actually wins the game. Shinri immediately accuses Bettel of cheating.
  Bettel: YES! (maniacal laughter) YEEEEEEEEES!
  Shinri: WHAT?! No, that's because of your hat! That's cheating!
• Bettel uses his double dice. He rolls an 8 on the first dice; Flayon wants him to get a 1. Bettel actually gets a 1.
  Bettel: NOOOOOOOOO!
  • He then lands on the Koopa Bank and is forced to deposit money. He ultimately lands on a lucky space and gets a Chomp Call. Hakka lampshades that Bettel had a karaoke stream scheduled.
    Hakka: That karaoke is done for!
    Bettel: I know, dude! It's fucked!
• Shinri suggests to the others to gang up on Bettel as he is very close to the star. Hakka in the meantime lands on a Koopa Bank space and cashes out.
  Hakka: Look at this fucker's- oh, never mind.
• The gang plays Money Belts. After figuring out how to play... guess what Bettel says.
  Bettel: It's like Fall Guys.
• At the end of the game, Shinri has a total of 126 coins.
• Kamek predicts Shinri would be the winner.
  Shinri: Damn straight!
  Bettel: What is this bullshit? What is this biased bullshit?
• Shinri reads the instructions in an epic voice impression. When they come to duels...
  Shinri: If two or more players land on the same space, a duel will begin! D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-
• Shinri uses a double dice and rolls a 4 total.
• Flayon uses a warp block and swaps places with Hakka.
  Flayon: That doesn't work, but I'll take it...
• Hakka asks an important question.
  Hakka: Why does Birdo sound like they're farting? Like (imitates voice)
• Shinri and Flayon engage in a duel... and then everyone's game freezes as communication is interrupted. This time, Hakka is the cause.
• Flayon leaves the call in "protest" after Hakka refuses to invite him to the game.
• In the hopes of seeing the duel progress, the gang resume play... to find out that they're sent back to the beginning of turn 10, to their disappointment.
• Toad calls out the results, with Flayon in dead last.
  Flayon: I love existence and living!
• Bettel predicts that Kamek would call out a different predicted winner. Kamek actually does and predicts Flayon as the winner, to Shinri's consternation.
  Shinri: Who is this, Kamek? This flip-floppin' little turtle on a broomstick? Oh my God... I know what you did in the previous timeline! You can't run from me! I still have memories! I'm gonna- [...] Gonna purge this timeline, make sure this turtle never existed, oh my God.
• Shinri rolls an 11 with his double dice and gets to an item shop, buying triple dice in the process.
  Shinri: I have so much money but no happiness.
  Hakka: I wouldn't mind crying in a fucking yacht, dude! Holy shit! Wish that was me!
• Bettel gets his third star while the gang discuss about recreating the infamous bullet time scene from Highschool of the Dead in their future 3D debuts.
  Hakka: And that's when little young ol' Hakka changed his life. That's when everything took a turn.
  • Hakka suggests bringing their managers into this. Shinri advises against it.
    Shinri: Do not corrupt mane-chan!
  • Hakka then recalls something regarding Shinri's manager being kind to everyone except him.
• The gang plays Mecha Marathon. Bettel wins the warmup, with Hakka starting the game and beginning with a boast.
  Hakka: Alright! I'm gonna teach you why I was popular in high school.
  • Bettel, Flayon and Shinri fall around the same time. Bettel is particularly aggravated.
    Bettel: I wasted all my fucking energy again!
  • Bettel disconnects. Again.
    Hakka: The longest one-hour game ever!
• The gang's audio gets incredibly crunchy as they attempt to reconnect.
  Bettel: It's so fucked up!
• Flayon makes a comment to Hakka.
  Flayon: Hakka, you make me feel so loved when you laugh at things I say. Or at me.
  Hakka: Of course. I am your designated Bro Moment.
  Flayon: Oh my God. Thank you.
  Hakka: Of course, dude. 'cause you know what they say: (sings) You've got a- ahem. Frenemy.
• Bettel gets a snack.
  Bettel: I'm gonna go get some crackers. I'll be right back.
  Hakka: You didn't even join!
  Bettel: Yes I did!
  Hakka: No you didn't! Oh there he is. I'm sorry!
• Hakka recounts an incident when he saw a chocolate surprise egg candy "fossilizing" the toy inside.
• The game resumes, with Shinri rolling a 23 total on his triple dice. He deposits money into the Koopa Bank and inadvertently uses a skeleton key to open the gate... causing him to loop around back to the Koopa Bank, depositing more money into the bank.
  • He then reaches the gate and uses a skeleton key again, looping him back around.
• Flayon uses a warp block to swap places with Shinri.
• Bettel rolls a two and gets elated.
  Bettel: BOWSER! Bowser!
  • Shinri does his impression of Bowser. Hoping to get a Bowser minigame, Bettel ends up losing half his coins to Bowser.
    Bettel: Oh, fuck you.
• Hakka states he now has an extra level of respect for Bettel for the incident. This conversation ensues.
  Bettel: It took you six months?
  Hakka: Eh, you know, that's how you know I'm a real one!
  Shinri: Better late than never, right?
  Bettel: I guess... [...] dick.
  Hakka: Yeah, that's what they used to call me in college.
  Flayon: I wonder why...
• The gang plays Quicksand Cache. Bettel complains about the choice of minigame.
  Bettel: Not the coin one! I don't know how to do these!
  Flayon: Learn, boy!
  • Bettel is clueless on how to play the game. He still wins anyway.
• Shinri plots a comeback.
  Shinri: Comeback of the century!
  (rolls a 1)
  Shinri: Never mind!
  • Hakka chimes in.
    Hakka: I shouldn't have waken up today!
    Shinri: Go back to bed, try again tomorrow.
• Flayon gets a hidden block. Hakka responds with a threat.
  Hakka: If that's a star, I'm punching you.
  Flayon: CAN YOU LET ME HAVE ANYTHING?!
  (punches hidden block, actually gets a star)
  Hakka: Fuck you.
• Bettel uses an item "for once" and decides to use a Chain Chomp.
  Shinri: I hope Toadette gets like a good healthcare package because she's just been harassed the entire time by these chomps.
  Flayon: I can give her that good healthcare package.
  Shinri: Aww, I know you can.
  Flayon: Wha, Shinri?!
• Hakka brings up the "I cooka da pizza" meme, all while he gets a star.
• Hakka continues laughing about the "I cooka da pizza" meme. The rest join in.
  Hakka: Why is my brain so simple?
• Hakka imagines that he and Bettel would be watching and "vibing to" baby sensory videos on YouTube "on an iPad" while the rest have an important meeting in the guild hall.
• The gang plays Slot-Car Derby. Cue the guys getting hit by lag spikes. Bettel wins.
• Bettel suggests Shinri to play It Takes Two, saying "it's gonna make him lonely".
  Shinri: Dude, I'm already lonely! What are you talking about?
• Flayon rolls two 10s in a row using his triple dice; he ultimately gets 26 and lands on a Koopa Bank space.
  Flayon: He's gonna take all my stuuuuff...
  Shinri: He says, having 130 coins!
  • He shortly after lands on another Koopa Bank!
• Bettel uses his triple dice. He rolls a 9, then a 10... and then a 3. He again lands on a Koopa Bank.
• Hakka lands on the Koopa Bank.
• The gang plays Hammer Drop. Bettel is the first to fall off the platform while practicing.
  Bettel: Oh! Hammer Drop! I know this one! Lies.
  • Bettel gets the most coins, bringing his total to 69 coins.
• The final turn is on the gang. Shinri is asked to deposit money into the Koopa Bank after rolling.
  Bettel: He's asking for more?! Jesus Christ!
  Shinri: Thanks, capitalism! Oh my God...
• Hakka suggests extending the game, but is shot down by Shinri out of fear that the game would crash.
• Flayon uses a triple dice and rolls a 1, 4 and 4. He lands on an event space and changes the time to night.
  Flayon: Oh, Bettel... I'm going to break your bones...
• Bettel has just enough to get the next star. Unfortunately for him, the Whomp is bound by magic and cannot move due to it being nighttime, forcing him to move in another direction away from the star. He lands on two Koopa Banks as a result... and lands on an event space and forcing the time back to day.
  Shinri: Gavis Bettel, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory!
  Bettel: The Whomp, the Whomp, doesn't move at night?
  Hakka: It doesn't!
  Bettel: Flayon. You FUCK!
  Flayon: FUCK YOU!
  Bettel: And now it's day time!
• The gang plays Balloon Burst for the final minigame. Despite Hakka and Shinri coordinating by chanting their pump strokes, Bettel and Flayon win.
  Flayon: Suck. Our. Ass.
  Hakka: HOW DID THEY WIN?!
• The game is over and bonuses are calculated. Shinri wins the Sightseer Bonus... and so does Bettel!
  Shinri: That's right! Aw yeah- (sees Bettel's star) Oh, what the hell?!
  • Bettel wins the Bowser Space Bonus.
    Bettel: I knew my lust would get me a win!
  • As a result of winning both bonuses, Bettel wins the game. Not knowing how to take a screenshot on his Switch, Bettel resorts to using his iPhone to taking a photo of the screen instead.
    Bettel: I took a picture on my phone. I'll remember it forever on my phone. In really bad quality. My hand is covering half the screen. I need to take an idol meeting. I'll be right back.
• Bettel suggests another game, which Hakka agrees to. He then proceeds to "meet some idols".
• After coming back from the idol meeting...
  Hakka: I just realized I didn't mute when I went pissing! I surely hope no one heard that!
  Flayon: I feel like you are the type of person that would want it unmuted in the first place, Hakka.
  • The viewers "humor" Hakka by claiming they heard everything, prompting this response.
    Hakka: I'm trying to run a business here. I'm trying to like paywall that content, man.
    Shinri: Damn, boy, you frying chicken in there? Ha, ha! For real, your piss loud as fuck but that's pretty cool!
• Hakka has a dream.
  Hakka: Dude, I'll pay money for Rouge the Bat to hear me pissing, holy shit!
• Bettel "misses" the entire talk about peeing.
• Bettel realizes something.
  Bettel: I end with 69 coins!
  Shinri and Hakka: Nice.
• Still not knowing how to take a picture on his Switch, he takes a photo on his phone.
• The gang restarts the game. Flayon makes a comment.
  Flayon: You're getting cucked.
  Hakka: You what? Say that again, Flayon?
  Flayon: Play the game, boy.
• The gang plays a 10-turn game on Peach's Birthday Cake. Hakka's rationale for choosing a 10-turn game?
  Hakka: Okay, let's go with ten turns because that will for sure take us two-and-a-half hours.
  • Shinri suggests all Action minigames to make the game "packed with action".
    Bettel: I'm a man of action! I've watched every Jason Statham movie!
• Flayon asks Hakka to voice act Toad "in his sexiest voice". As he voice acts, Flayon exclaims something under his breath, causing Hakka to break.
  • And then Shinri joins in...
    Hakka: Look closely and you might catch a glimpse of a Goomba near the pudding...
    Shinri: Yeah, I bet you would...
• Bettel proclaims his victory while rolling the turn order. Hakka rolls a 1 and sulks...
  Hakka: What the fuck is this bullshit, man?
  • ...while Bettel actually rolls a 7, putting him in first!
    Bettel: Ha ha ha ha! Another common W for Gavis Bettel!
• Flayon makes fun of Bettel, calling him "Wavis Wettel" in a baby-like voice.
• Hakka makes another impression of Toad and forgets to press his button to advance.
  Hakka: Wario's fourth! [...] Oh that's me. (laughs)
• Hakka suggests someone "pull on his ponytail" while he eats Peach's birthday cake "like a lawnmower".
• Bettel begins his turn in the most Bettel-esque way.
  Bettel: A 10! Suited for me! (rolls a 4) FUCK!
  Hakka: That's a weird ass-looking "10"!
• The gang plays Cheep Cheep Chase. Hakka makes a quip.
  Hakka: You know what they say about guys with fast fingers... usually have heart conditions.
  • Hakka wins.
    Bettel: Host advantage!
• Bettel immediately rolls a three and blames it on host advantage. In the meantime...
  Shinri: I see chat talking about how the Koipanions want to eat me. I bet you would...
  • Flayon adds his comments.
    Flayon: You're gonna go to a fan meet and they'll go "Shinri, I really want you." and you'll go "Yeah, I know."
    Shinri: Get in line.
• Flayon gets prompted to use his mushroom he got in the previous round.
  Flayon: Shut up TOAD!
  Bettel: (in between laughter) What the fuck? You got so mad!
• The gang plays Parasol Plummet. Immediately on starting practice...
  Bettel: How do you play? Oh, I'm lagging again! Lag, lag! Host advantage!
  • Shinri wins. Bettel begins malding.
    Bettel: Dude, Shinri's nasty with it.
    Shinri: Look at that! 22!
    Bettel: BECAUSE HE HAD THE WHOLE LEFT SIDE TO HIMSELF! HOST ADVANTAGE!
• Post-Parasol Plummet, Hakka is in first. He makes some comments. Shinri makes a comment in response.
  Hakka: Oh, would you look at that! Are we about to like experience a Hakka sweep?
  (silence)
  Shinri: No?
  Hakka: (in between laughter) Man, fuck you!
• Shinri gets coins from a hidden block.
  Shinri: Give me those coins! Gimme, gimme! (makes licking noises)
• Flayon gets a star while the rest laugh at Shinri's delivery of his "no".
• The gang plays Bumper Balloon Cars. Bettel is clueless... but confident.
  Bettel: Oh, this is hard. But I will succeed. (gets bumped by Shinri) AHHHHHHHH!
  • Bettel, true to form, eliminates himself by turning into the spikes of Flayon’s car.
    Bettel: NO! (laughs) I JUST KILLED MYSELF!
    Hakka: First time?
  • The game gets... sensual?
    Hakka: NO! Machina X Flayon, the pilot of Guild -TEMPUS-, suck my ass!
    Flayon: Okay. (proceeds to make obnoxious slurping noises)
  • Shinri and Hakka win.
• Flayon wants to get complimented.
  Bettel: I ran straight up to Flayon and killed myself.
  Flayon: You're just happy to see me!
  Bettel: It's not a complement, Flayon!
  Flayon: You should compliment me!
  Bettel: It's not a compliment!
  Flayon: FUCK YOU!
• Bettel rolls a 1, walking right into Shinri's small Piranha Plant he had planted earlier. He chalks this up to him winning "soooooooo hard" last game.
  Bettel: Can I stop getting shitty numbers?!
• While Hakka and Shinri accuse Bettel of connecting his GameShark to cheat, Shinri gets a star.
  Hakka: Good for fucking you.
• The gang plays Tidal Toss. Guess what Bettel says.
  Bettel: Oh it's hard, dude! I'm no good at this.
  • True to form, Bettel and Flayon get eliminated at the start of the game. Shinri shittalks Hakka as he dodges his ripples. Hakka eliminates him and wins.
    Hakka: Show me your knees functioning, bitch!
    Shinri: WOW! Low blow! I can't-
• Bettel rolls a 1. Again. And steps on Shinri's small Piranha Plant. Again.
  Bettel: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
• Bettel complains about his bad luck. Flayon calls him out for it.
  Bettel: This is fucking horse shit! I've gotten 2s and 1s every round!
  Flayon: You won last time in a landslide! What more do you want?
• Flayon consults Shinri on choosing a seed for the Flower Lottery. He eggs him on to choose the rightmost seed.
  Shinri: Size does not always matter.
  • Flayon gets the bad seed. Bettel gets excited.
    Bettel: BOWSER!
• Hakka and Flayon get into conversation.
  Flayon: Wait, Hakka, you do know that right?
  Hakka: Yeah, dude!
  Flayon: Yeah, like if it's too big it's actually a problem?
  Hakka: Mhm. Your daddy surely complains.
  • While cackling at his recent quip, Hakka gets another star.
    Hakka: This star is mine, motherfuckers!
• The gang plays Mosh Pit. A surprisingly high-intensity game ensues. Flayon makes a comment, with Shinri chipping in.
  Flayon: Wow, you smushed me. You smushed me.
  Shinri: Some people pay extra for that shit, yo!
  • Hakka gets knocked out by Flayon while shittalking him! Hakka wins.
    Bettel: He fucking gets it!
• The midway point of the game is reached, with Toad announcing the standings up to this point. When it reaches Bettel's turn...
  Shinri: And in fourth, it's Waluigi!
  Bettel: (background noise of furniture being flipped in frustration)
  Hakka: What the fuck?! You good, bro?!
  • Flayon makes a comment on Bettel.
    Flayon: You're so whiny when you're losing but so cocky when you're winning. You're so funny.
    Bettel: SHUT UP!
    Flayon: YOU SHUT UP!
• The Goomba predicts Bettel as the winner. As usual, he's quite overconfident...
  Bettel: I'll be taking the star now! (receives 10 coins) FUCK!
• Bettel asks for something better than a 2 and rolls a 10. He reaches the star but cannot get it because he's one coin short.
  Shinri: I think as the kids say, that is, uh... oof.
  • Bettel complains about his bad luck stat.
    Bettel: The one time I get a 10, it's the most fucking... ugh, God!
• Shinri reaches an item shop and makes a comment.
  Shinri: Oh, look at that! An item shop! I wonder who could have coins to spare? To buy things?
  Bettel: Shut the fuck up.
• Hakka suggests a Roblox collab.
  Shinri: Will we get perms for that?!
• Shinri picks the rightmost seed for the Flower Lottery.
  Shinri: I believe in this one! It has a great personality!
  (bad seed!)
  Shinri: Never mind! I was betrayed!
  Hakka: That's what happens when you focus on the pretty boys.
• Flayon lands on a VS space. Bettel in particular gets quite fired up.
  Bettel: Fight me! Fight me, you- fight me, you! FIGHT ME!
  Flayon: SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!
  Bettel: YOU WANNA FUCKING FIGHT ME?! I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA YOU!
• With 40 coins at stake, Hakka tells Flayon of future plans.
  Hakka: Flayon, if you're in a hotel room, I'm gonna like open up the bathtub and drown you.
  Flayon: Do it! Do it! Do it! I want it!
• The gang plays Bumper Balls. Hakka asks an important question.
  Hakka: What would you do if our balls touch?
  • A surprisingly high-intensity game ensues. Hakka falls off the map first.
  Hakka: First and last time I play with balls!
  • Flayon wins and shittalks Bettel.
    Flayon: Big man with a big hat. Take that off, what are you?
• Hakka rolls a 10, refusing to buy anything at the item shop. His reasoning?
  Hakka: You know what? I'm not purchasing anything because unlike these bastards I have mercy on them.
  • He then lands on the Flower Lottery space.
    Shinri: You're still paying 10 for that... gacha!
  • Flayon calls out Hakka for his earlier comments.
    Flayon: If we were on a snowy mountain you would eat me immediately. Shut up, Hakka.
    Hakka: Yes.
• Flayon is hot. Literally.
  Flayon: Oh... sweet... mama!
  • Shinri suggests him to open the window.
    Flayon: Uuuugh, Shinri, I don't wanna!
• The gang plays Bill Blasters. Hakka makes a comment.
  Hakka: Oh my God, it's like Russian Roulette but without the Russians!
  • Bettel says his usual "this is hard" line while practicing.
  • In practice, Hakka tells others to "get fucked" as he shoots them. When he himself gets hit, Hakka proclaims he "doesn't like that" and starts the game.
  • Bettel eliminates Shinri first. He wins the game. Hakka complains.
    Bettel: SO LONG, FOOL!
    Hakka: DON'T LET THIS BASTARD WIN!
• Bettel plays the Flower Lottery.
  Bettel: I guess it's time to choose... the Gavis Bettel seed. And victory... will be mine! Here it is!
  (bad seed!)
  Bettel: FUCK!
• Shinri uses his triple dice.
  Shinri: Aw baby, a triple! Mom, get the camera! I'm on TV!
• Shinri impersonates Bowser.
  Shinri: (Bowser impression) I've got some good for you! I hope you've saved up bwahahaha. It's an artifact- (drops impression) okay we've heard this part before, yep. Yeah yeah yeah okay. Just give it, just give it.
  • Having rolled a 10 using his triple dice, Shinri makes it back to the star. He however cannot afford another star, having been scammed out of 20 coins by Bowser!
• Bettel talks about his life experience.
  Bettel: Dude, I once got my wisdom teeth taken out and I ate fried chicken the same day. It was the worst thing I've ever done in my entire life.
  • Bettel describes him eating fried chicken out of a sheer craving to eat fried chicken, with him using his front teeth to eat the fried chicken like "that picture of Squidward eating that Krabby Patty for the first time".
• The gang plays Pogo-a-Go-Go. Shinri says...
  Shinri: It's Fall Guys!
  • Bettel agrees! Hakka chips in too.
    Bettel: It's just like Fall Guys! Only I'm not the one playing. I have to be the guy that rotates the map.
    Hakka: Oh right! Like the Vesties like to hear! Get rotated, fuckers!
  • Shinri makes a valiant effort to survive...
    Bettel: C'mon, baby! Make a mistake!
    Shinri: No! You cannot! I will refuse to die!
  • ...but fails and falls. Bettel wins.
    Bettel: Another Bettel sweep! Last place, by the way!
• Knowing he doesn't have enough coins, Bettel decides not to use his triple dice. He lands on Bowser, who gives him coins. Bettel begins malding.
  Bettel: He's giving me the coins! I should've done the p- I- I can't take this game any more. I don't want to play any more. I can't take it. If I just did- if I just did the right thing! IF I DID THE (unintelligible screaming)!
• Shinri curses Flayon’s dice block...
  Flayon: Bitch.
  Shinri: Get rekt.
  Hakka: Get cursed, fucker!
  • ...before he rolls a 1 himself.
• Flayon curses Shinri's dice in return. He rolls enough to get another star.
  Flayon: I'm taking you down.
  Shinri: No, I already got a 1!
• Hakka plants a giant Piranha Plant on the egging on of the guys.
  Shinri: A nice and plump strawberry!
  Hakka: That's what they used to call me in college!
• The gang plays Ice-Ring Risk. What does Bettel do next?
  Bettel: This is just like Fall Guys!
  • A surprisingly intense game is played. Flayon and Shinri are knocked out by red spiny shells in quick succession. Bettel wins and goes all ham.
    Bettel: Victory for Gavis Bettel!
• As the game announces the standings after the minigame, Bettel quips in.
  Bettel: (in mock Italian accent) Last place!
  Flayon: (imitating Bettel) How does it feel to suck?
• Bettel finally gets his first star after rolling a 21 on a double dice.
  Bettel: After all, I am a holostar.
  Flayon: You may be a holostar but I am a slut.
• Bettel chooses the "Gavis Bettel seed again"... and actually passes!
  Bettel: Guys, I'm gonna choose the Gavis Bettel one again. After all, it is mine. The Gavis Bettel seed! Victory!
  (good seed!)
  Hakka: What the fuck?! Are you serious?!
• Bettel steps on a VS space. 48 coins are on the line thanks to Bettel only having 3 coins.
  Shinri: Wait. We all give 15 and Bettel only gives 3? What?
  Bettel: (hammy laughter) If I win, this could be the turning point!
  Shinri: How is that fair?!
  • The gang plays Bombs Away. In practice, Hakka jumps off the island.
  • Shinri and Flayon are knocked out by a cannonball. Hakka is too. Bettel wins. Shinri and Bettel begin malding.
    Bettel: VICTORY!
    Shinri: WHAT?! What the hell?! What was that?!
    Hakka: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This is some bullshit! What the fuck?!
• Shinri rolls a two on his cursed dice block... and gets another one from a lucky space!
  Shinri: Why'd it give me two cursed blocks in a row?!
• Hakka rolls a 1 and reacts in disproportionate anger.
  Hakka: WHAT THE FUCK?! THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?!
• The gang plays Tube It or Lose It. Bettel quips that the game is hard. Shinri on the other hand...
  Bettel: Oh, this is... hard.
  Shinri: You know what else is hard? Calculus.
  • Bettel is eliminated shortly after, not noticing Hakka. The rest are eliminated some seconds later. Hakka wins.
• In the final round, Bettel uses his triple dice in an attempt to roll a 30. He rolls a 1, 10 and 1 for a total of 12. He is unpleased when passing by the Koopa Troopa.
  Bettel: Thanks for the coins, asshole.
• Shinri curses Hakka's dice block "to keep him in third". Hakka tries to lie his way out of the situation.
  Shinri: Alright, let's see... Hakka, where are you? I'm gonna keep you in third.
  Hakka: I'm Birdo, actually.
  (Hakka is selected)
  Hakka: No, no! Wrong character!
  Shinri: Yeah. I'm sure you are.
• Bettel is tickled at Shinri's reasoning for cursing Hakka.
• Hakka steps on a Bowser space. Hakka ends up losing his star!
  Hakka: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
  • While Hakka loses his star, Shinri and Bettel notice that there was a chance for Hakka to receive 100 stars!
• The gang plays the final minigame, River Raiders. Hakka complains about Elysium's economy.
  Hakka: So, economy in Elysium, right? What a bitch.
  • Flayon rants at Bettel.
    Flayon: Bettel, you're going to get me killed.
    Bettel: Dude, you need to go to the RIGHT TO GET THE FUCKING COINS!
    Flayon: Move your FUCKING ASS!
  • Flayon imitates Bettel in a babbling baby voice.
  • Shinri and the rest ponder about the minigame.
    Shinri: What was this minigame?
    Hakka: I don't know! A chil- a good time!
    Bettel: Horseshit.
• The game is over and bonuses are calculated. On request of Flayon, Shinri reads the results in a "mommy voice".
  • Bettel gets the Sightseer Bonus... much to everyone's disbelief.
    Bettel: WHAT?!
    Flayon: This man gets this after whining about fourth place.
  • Bettel also gets the Eventful Bonus, complete with crunchy audio! Hammy laughter ensues. Bettel wins the second game in an epic come-from-behind victory.
    Bettel: OH MY GOD! YES! GAVIS BETTEL, SIX-MONTH VICTOR! TWO TIMES!
    Hakka: This is some bullshit, dude...
• As with the last game, Bettel still has no idea how to take a photo on his Switch and takes a picture on his phone. Shinri reminds him he can take screenshot on the Switch. This falls on deaf ears.
  Bettel: Oh shit! Hang on! I'm gonna take a picture on my phone!
  Shinri: You know you can take a screenshot with your Switch, right?
  Bettel: Uh, what?
  Shinri: You don't have to take out your phone to- oh my God he's gonna take a picture of his screen and then tweet it out. I think that's what he's gonna do.
• Even Bettel is in disbelief that he won!
  Bettel: (pants) God, what a rush! How did I win that? That was some bullshit, even for me!
  • Hakka does not take Bettel's victory well.
    Hakka: Why did we pick Mario Party again?
    Flayon: Max luck...
    Hakka: I can't believe I like fixed my router to witness this bullshit, dude.